Plans can break down. You cannot plan the future. Only presumptuous fools plan. The wise man steers.
I think I'm going to go with quotes from not at all random books for a while. People seem to take them well out of context but then again, perhaps many people don't read the same books I do.
Prior Thread "A Future Always Happens"
https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2928861#Post2928861
Haha! Welcome to the club on # of posts not by the author.
Hope today finds you well, and a less stressful day!
Steering towards a better future - I like that.
Yes. At least one definitely homeless, possibly 2 or all 3. Not kidding.
That makes me sad K. That sounds scary.
I'm sorry Ginger - but that is one of the most bizarre false equivalencies that I've encountered. I'm not normally rude and usually I just let things slide by because to be honest, I don't have any interest in negativity. A sweatshirt vs being able to make rent?
Sigh.
I'm sorry that you totally missed Ginger's point. She did not at all appear from what I can tell to be comparing her buying or not buying a sweatshirt to offering to help with housing if that became an issue. Instead she was showing how she and many others teach their children the value of money, the value of having a job and the value of not quitting that job until another one is in place. These things are important to be taught to children using lessons exactly like Ginger just taught her daughter.
And I am thankful to my armchair QB’s over the years on this board quite honestly. I will forever be thankful for the help in a trying situation I wasn’t prepared for.
While I'm using Ginger's quote, this applies to all of the people who don't seem to want to have anyone question or debate things with them. OMG, seriously? If that's the case, you're in the wrong place. This is a help board. It's the entire point to question, debate, suggest. If anyone is doing so dang well and has everything all together they don't need suggestions. But that's often clearly not the case. If you don't want any suggestions or help, don't post your problems. This is not a chit chat club - at least that was never the intent.
So if you knew he was too proud and wouldn't take you up on it then why did your offer? I think this is more about your rescuer personality and your desire to be needed. I think you know this and that is why Don & Ginger's comments set you off.
It's long been my observation that people get the most upset and defensive when they sense that what is being said is very close to the truth - often a truth they don't want to see or admit, so instead they attack the messenger.
I won’t apologize for helping my children, especially when my ex is so unhelpful...
But my kids would be in horrible places, all of them...
It's really sad that you have such little faith in your children succeeding on their own. Why do you so believe they cannot stand on their own two feet and succeed in the world without you doing it for them? I have no doubt your ex is at least some of the things you suggest. However, it's also very possible he's doing more to help by not helping them. It's the old give a man a fish or teach a man to fish adage. Coming to the rescue rather than letting children, especially adult children, fall down and figure it out on their own, is often not helping them. Sometimes saying no, you'll have to do it on your own, or at least making them TRY to do it on their own, helps more than doing and giving. Parents should be a safety net - not step in and do it for them.
It boggles my mind how saying one little thing gets so blown out of proportion here.
We seem to be finding ourselves agreeing more and more.
If you don't want any suggestions or help, don't post your problems.
Don, you control what you post, you don't control what others post. Review the "Board Policies" at the top and feel free to report any behavior that doesn't comply. I enjoy reading Andrew's updates, whether they're train logistics, philosophical musings, or giving/offering support. He's made epic mistakes, but jokes about them, and overall the energy he puts out is positiive.
If you don't want any suggestions or help, don't post your problems.
Don, you control what you post, you don't control what others post. Review the "Board Policies" at the top and feel free to report any behavior that doesn't comply. I enjoy reading Andrew's updates, whether they're train logistics, philosophical musings, or giving/offering support. He's made epic mistakes, but jokes about them, and overall the energy he puts out is positive.
Um, what in the heck is your point? There's nothing wrong with posting any of those things. Post positive if you'd like, post negative. I don't care - post ANYTHING you see fit to talk about. I'd encourage it. Just after posting don't try to say "How dare you question or judge or criticize or (fill in the blank) my actions or statements" Everyone is free to post - and we are free to respond - THAT's my point. Don't try to shut down the responder if you don't like their response.
Don you don't begin to know my situation with my kids, so your comments have zero validity. Abandoning them when they needed my help out of some misbegotten tough love strategy would have ruined their lives. Instead they are all working hard and making great strides despite their various disabilities. I know absolutely that I have done the right thing by my kids.
Don you don't begin to know my situation with my kids, so your comments have zero validity. Abandoning them when they needed my help out of some misbegotten tough love strategy would have ruined their lives. Instead they are all working hard and making great strides despite their various disabilities. I know absolutely that I have done the right thing by my kids.
Lol. For the last time people no one said anything about abandoning their kids.
Ummm - in my case, not helping them financially when they needed it would have been abandoning them, not helping them "toughen up". Every situation is different. I'm not keeping my kids from being independent - I am helping them be independent. My kids grew up in a very wealthy neighborhood but I made sure they all got jobs when they were 16. The fact that they still need some financial help from me right now is not their fault, but a product of their various physical and mental health problems as I have stated - repeatedly - before. So don't give me BS about coddling them just because I'm helping them.
I have no doubt, KML, that you are helping your kids and not enabling them. The world is just not the place it used to be when we were kids and you could leave home at 18 with very few difficulties. Rent was reasonable, wages compared to cost of living were reasonable, cost of education was reasonable, etc… These days none of those things are true. In my town, rent for a nice two-bedroom condo is $2,200 a month. If you are okay with a not nice two-bedroom in a sketchy neighbourhood, you can maybe find something for $1,500. That is not including utilities. Cost of living is out of control and Covid has made it worse. The gap between the haves and the have nots is continuously increasing which is painfully evident in our current political climate. I honestly don’t expect my kids to leave home until their mid 20’s. They will be required to go to school or work and pay rent but either way, they will be able to stay until they have a solid plan to be on their own. Honestly, this is the norm for many, many cultures. Why we North American’s have such an issue with it is beyond me. This whole me, myself and I culture is not an advantage for anyone.
LH - You must have been reading something different than what I read. I totally understand KML’s reaction. I’d have the same one. If she had needed or wanted our advice when it comes to her kids, she would have asked for it. She didn’t. And I don’t agree that people get defensive because the other person’s comments ring true. I found the comments offensive and I don’t have any involvement in the situation.
Uuummm I never once commented on Ks situation other then to say it is sad and scary. I made the comment that no one said to abandon your kids because know one was saying that but as usual everything gets blown out of control. The comment about comments ringing true came from Don so I guess I’m not sure why I have been thrown under the bus but I guess I’ll take one for the team.
I like pie! Still trying to find an occasion to use up last season's rhubarb and black currants.
Maybe Family Day which is in a couple of weeks. My son-in-law had hinted that they may visit this spring and surprisingly growing up in Georgia, rhubarb isn't a thing.
I’ve only had rhunarb a couple of times and can’t remember ever having black currants. How’d you preserve them—frozen or as jam?
I freeze so that the fruit preserves it's shape. Of course with currants, after you pick them you have to set then outside for a while so that the tiny spiders that were also harvested can wander away.
My black currant bush was a house warming gift from my grandparents and was a root from the bush they had on the original family farm we settled nearly 200 years ago. The rhubarb patch we had here when we moved in eventually died out but I established a new patch with some roots from one of my many cousins.
I was surprised when a good friend of mine from Bombay told me that black currant ice cream was very popular in India. I had no idea.
Rhubarb is not a thing here…too far south. And Georgia is farther south so yeah I get it. Peach pie is my fave.
MMmm, black currant ice cream sounds good!
I grew up just north of the Ohio river on a farm. My grandma always made strawberry rhubarb pie as she grew both in the garden.
I grew up just north of the Ohio river on a farm. My grandma always made strawberry rhubarb pie as she grew both in the garden.
Strawberry rhubarb is pretty common here. The only reason I started making black-currant / rhubarb was because that's what I had and I felt like experimenting. The two different types of tart flavours work well together. If I'm short I'll sometimes throw in a few strawberries if I have them too.
I like pie! Still trying to find an occasion to use up last season's rhubarb and black currants.
Huh? How did we suddenly shift over to this? When the going or the discussion gets tough, change the subject? SMH Don’t get it. But put me down for cherry pie. I’ve always loved it. And no LH, I’m not talking about THAT - I’m talking about the ACTUAL pies baked with cherries in them. Although….
Huh? How did we suddenly shift over to this? When the going or the discussion gets tough, change the subject?
Uuuum because I got blamed for something you said so we went to pie.
SMH Don’t get it. But put me down for cherry pie. I’ve always loved it. And no LH, I’m not talking about THAT - I’m talking about the ACTUAL pies baked with cherries in them. Although….
Wouldn't the innuendo be peach pie?
Uuuum because I got blamed for something you said so we went to pie.
Yeah, not quite. You teed it up by saying:
I think you know this and that is why Don & Ginger's comments set you off.
I just then went on to explain the phenomenon behind what you said. You were not totally innocent. Lol
Wouldn't the innuendo be peach pie?
I’ve always heard it was sweet sweet cherry pie, like in the song by the band Warrant. Guess if we’ve got to debate it it’s not much of standard slang after all. But it does appear Andrews little diversionary tactic worked cuz here we are discussing pie. Now I’ve got to try to get all of this sand out of my hair!!!
And now I have to figure out how to get Warrant out of my head so I don’t sit through the exam I’m about to give humming that song out loud so thanks for that.
I can't get Tawny Kitaen out of my mind may she RIP.
Wouldn't the innuendo be peach pie?
I’ve always heard it was sweet sweet cherry pie, like in the song by the band Warrant. Guess if we’ve got to debate it it’s not much of standard slang after all. But it does appear Andrews little diversionary tactic worked cuz here we are discussing pie.
It was apple in the movie American Pie, but maybe that's for a younger generation than Warrant.
Wouldn't the innuendo be peach pie?
I’ve always heard it was sweet sweet cherry pie, like in the song by the band Warrant. Guess if we’ve got to debate it it’s not much of standard slang after all. But it does appear Andrews little diversionary tactic worked cuz here we are discussing pie.
It was apple in the movie American Pie, but maybe that's for a younger generation than Warrant.
That’s our generation. Apple pies and band camp
I share a name with stifler’s mom.
Wouldn't the innuendo be peach pie?
I’ve always heard it was sweet sweet cherry pie, like in the song by the band Warrant. Guess if we’ve got to debate it it’s not much of standard slang after all. But it does appear Andrews little diversionary tactic worked cuz here we are discussing pie.
It was apple in the movie American Pie, but maybe that's for a younger generation than Warrant.
That’s our generation. Apple pies and band camp
I share a name with stifler’s mom.
I thought he just made love to an apple pie?
I can't get Tawny Kitaen out of my mind may she RIP.
Well, now I have moved on to White Snake, so thanks...I think. Oddly, I do NOT care for long hair on men and never have, but I LOVE me some 80s hair bands. It has more to do with the nostalgia of the music than the looks of the guys though.
American Pie is a bit behind my time, but I won't call anyone else out as being as old as me. LOL
Now I have The Runaways Cherry Bomb in my head.
Now I have The Runaways Cherry Bomb in my head.
My current ear worm is Paloma Faith's Upside Down. That girl has more swing than can be contained.
I just have sex on my mind now
What a week! The regional rail yards are now in such a mess that they can't pull out the cars we need. We got 4 of the 7 cars I ordered in on Thursday and one of them they put in the wrong spot so that our guys couldn't unload it. The crew left saying "no time" so I have 90 tonnes of product sitting that I can't touch. It would have taken them 10 more minutes to unhook the car from the one next to it and move it the 20 feet needed to place it properly.
They said that the cars they didn't bring (even though the email I get at about 9:00 pm said they were coming) were buried behind others and they just couldn't get to them. And on top of that more cars keep coming in to the regional yard. We've not had a completely smooth week since before Christmas.
The plant next door is having it even harder than us as they are more reliant on rail and require a lot of shunting inside their plant.
We also have a handful of customers in the Rust Belt in the US that we can't promise deliveries to because of the border blockades. I have about 4 truck loads that it's a coin toss if we'll bother to load or not.
Since we're hurting, our customers are also hurting. I had a long call yesterday with one of our larger customers who is trying to service a new mine that is opening up and needs products to get their waste water treatment plant going. We had talked a few weeks ago and I had said that I would try to get them about 6 tonnes this past week which didn't happen. They have a total demand of about 36 tonnes over the next few weeks. I just had a peek at the plant cameras and the truck is placed to load up the 7 1/2 tonnes we'll ship them Monday. I swear, every day is just a balance of who do I tick off the least. Either I don't have product to ship, or I have it and can't ship it.
Just finished week #3 of working from home because of the outbreak at the plant. I haven't heard if I'm to go on site or not next week which perhaps means no. I was supposed to get a haircut 3 weeks ago that I had to cancel so getting pretty shaggy for me now.
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My son stopped by yesterday afternoon to borrow my large roasting pan - he's had a turkey in his freezer for quite a long time that he's going to roast up. He was in great spirits, has applied for some more jobs and has adopted a young cat a couple of days ago. I think having that job behind him and an open book in front has been very good for him. He took the job he had really to be able to move out from being in here. We got along but he "really" didn't want to be living with Dad.
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Trying to decide if I'll date again this spring. Valentines Day coming up is a reminder of all things romance. I really am on the fence on this. People, including those I've dated have assured me that I'm a catch. All my own teeth and hair and such-like. I don't think I could do the living separately thing although it has some appeal. It's nice to wander around the house scratching myself randomly and not worrying about being judged by anyone other than the cat. There are things I want in my life though that I don't have which companionship of the 2 legged variety would give. Chickens are nice but aren't known for being good listeners and it's probably frowned on taking one to a museum or craft show.
Had an interesting chat with one of the new owners of the brewery in my village. Nice people. Good friends with my friend "C" and undoubtedly aware that we had gone on a few dates a few years ago. Very smart people and their friend group has done a lot of traveling. He was extolling the virtues of some places they've been in South and East Asia - not really parts of the world that I currently think would be worth the effort to get to when there are so many nice places closer to hand. We had a long chat about politics and economics. I think he was surprised to find me well informed. Certainly not the stereotype that you might have of someone who lives in a small rural village.
Well - time to get things moving. I made myself a substantial breakfast - pancakes, sausage, smoked kippers, big pot of tea which is now just about empty.
I loved Thailand! I was in Bangkok a month after 9/11 and it was great. However Thailand was more stable politically then; since the beloved king died, things have been dicier.
Also - don’t consider living with a woman until you’ve dated her for a couple of years!
Grinding through the weekend and the stack of work I'm trying to get caught up on. This is pretty much a 7 days / week job but usually it's only an hour or so on the weekends.
I was checking tank levels this morning and was able to spot flow from one of our higher quality tanks to a lower quality one. The level in the one tank was off from what I expected and so I went into the trend information stored in the PLC and "whoops!" Well - there's 2 truckloads that need to be adjusted - about 60 tonnes is now going to be sold at a slight discount ... The plant operator wasn't very pleased when I called him - a couple of swear words and then he ran out to close the valves that someone else had left open in the wrong order. At least it was caught when it was.
It does mean though that I can divert some of this product to a couple of customers who were going to be short shipped so that's a positive at any rate. The engineers have been instructed to review our procedures again as this has happened at least 2 or 3 times that I can think of in the last 6 months. Just glad I noticed it.
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I think that "P" who owns the shop around the corner from me was flirting with me on Saturday. We had gotten into a discussion about politics and "stuff" - we have very different points of view but respect that fact with the other. I was in her shop stocking up on the bath-bombs her daughter makes - the shea butter ones make for quite a nice relaxing soak in the tub.
She said that if it were summer that we should go and spend some time in the park to talk politics. I think that she's finding her views - some of which are a bit "out there" are causing some conflict with people including it turns out her own brother.
It's a tricky thing for me. I really like this person and consider her a "friendly acquaintance". She's smart, has a big heart, is devoted to what she sees as good causes, is a hard worker and yes, for someone so tiny has some curves that are nice to look at. I think she's about 3 years younger than me. BUT as I've also mentioned before she's as full of fruit and nuts in my opinion on her political views as a well balanced breakfast.
I once described her to my son as "intense" and he told me that that was certainly not the sort of person he thought I should be involved with. He's also found out more about her from common acquaintances especially about the "fruit and nuts" thing and is very sure that I shouldn't date her. And I agree. So - keep things polite and neighbourly and be oblivious to other suggestions which seem to be getting more direct as time passes.
So you have different political views and you each respect each other’s differences in opinions but yet you can’t date her because she has a different view. She has nice curves and is a bath bomb supplier yet you are going to walk away. Makes sense to me.
Look what happened last time you dated someone your kids warned you against dating! Stay far far away!!!
Yeah vetting your dating choices through your kids before they happen seems like a good idea to me. (Insert LH eyer roll)
Yeah vetting your dating choices through your kids before they happen seems like a good idea to me. (Insert LH eyer roll)
Heeding the opinions of someone who knows both parties and has my best interests in mind does indeed make a lot of sense.
Yeah vetting your dating choices through your kids before they happen seems like a good idea to me. (Insert LH eyer roll)
Heeding the opinions of someone who knows both parties and has my best interests in mind does indeed make a lot of sense.
So based on your past history of dating do you think your son will ever give you the thumbs up?
LH do you forget he was warned strongly by his kids not to date the woman who turned out to be the hoarder? I’d say his kids have a good track record and it would be wise to listen to their veto.
What I am saying is Andrew is an adult and should be self aware enough to be able to spot red flags on his own. Based on the fact the last time his father dated his world got flipped upside down I am not shocked his son gave it the thumbs down.
If I came home and beat my kids every time I had a drink what do you think the answer would be if I said "Kids do you think it's a good idea if dad goes out drinking"?
Good Morning Andrew
I agree with you. Listen to your son.
He is an adult of ten years now, hardly a kid anymore. Kids grow, become wiser, and can offer useful viewpoints and suggestions. He is not the hurt lad of six years ago.
I know you know son does not have veto power over your choices. He offers a well intentioned caution methinks. One it benefits you to heed, IMHO. A caution I believe you are seeing yourself as well.
How is the Valentines Day book?
D
Your son is wise. After all, look who raised him. I know you are lonely, but proceed with caution. I hope your book date turns out to be your best date ever. I can't wait to see "who" it is.
So you have different political views and you each respect each other’s differences in opinions but yet you can’t date her because she has a different view. She has nice curves and is a bath bomb supplier yet you are going to walk away. Makes sense to me.
I wouldn't want to date someone who's *intense* about views that are *extreme* compared to my own. It's hard enough to integrate people with *intense* views OR *extreme* views into one's life--the combo would be a double whammy. I'm imagining regularly bringing someone into my home who refuses to vax, mask, or rapid test--my D would move in with mom! I'd never be able to include them in my trips and get-togethers. Imagine if through some accident we had children together?! Altogether sounds like a path to avoid. I think Andrew's son knows Andrew and his feedback is valid. I agree to not ask son about every Tinder match he swipes right on, but this is a bit different, someone they've been acquainted with for years.
His son warned her about her before he ever dated her LH
Maybe it's because my kids are young and I keep them completely out of my dating life I can't comprehend this dynamic?
Imagine if your best friend knew both you and a potential date and advised you to stay far away from her based on knowledge he had about the woman - you wouldn't listen to him? Same sitch.
Well I will still make the decision on my own. Maybe my best friend doesn't want me dating because it takes away from our golfing etc.
Well I will still make the decision on my own. Maybe my best friend doesn't want me dating because it takes away from our golfing etc.
LH, wow--you expect such selfishness from the people closest to you?
Well if your best friend was right the LAST time, and the last tie you ignored him it turned into a giant sh!tshow, wouldn't you think you would be inclined to listen to him the second time around? I sure would.
Well if your best friend was right the LAST time, and the last tie you ignored him it turned into a giant sh!tshow, wouldn't you think you would be inclined to listen to him the second time around? I sure would.
Point taken. I forgot he warned him about the circus that came to town.
I struggle with this myself. Now I'm 6 years or so out and thoroughly divorced. Dated a couple of women, the last one of whom did quite the number on my ability to trust.
So I brought this over to your thread to not hijack Stella's. You were not the victim here. It was 1000% on you what happened. You were pretty much warned by everyone. The real question is did you learn from it?
My thread title is certainly turning out to be prophetic. What a week! Just had an order come in for 46 tonnes of product that we rarely sell. There's been a bunch of back and forth with this customer so I know the order is legit - I just didn't expect this size of a release all at once so I'm having to scramble to get containers to put this stuff in.
The loads I get into the plant max out at about 30 tonnes and the outbound loads out of this section of the plant are about 28 tonnes less the weight of the containers. Going to take some head-scratching to get this through and fit it around the other orders. I expect I have about 8 weeks though at least for the full order. Since it's going to the middle of Quebec we might just get a couple of special trucks in for it and haul it direct rather than through the warehouses.
Rail has continued to be problematic. The planned service for last night didn't happen - given bad weather that's not too much of a shock. I now have an about 3 week backlog of cars sitting in the regional hub. Compared to some companies we don't move a lot of cars so I imagine that they are stacked up pretty bad. We've had at least a couple of times when we did get some cars but they couldn't get to the ones we really needed. Right now we have only 1 transload car on the siding that we can do anything with - usually we have about 6 or 7 cars on a Friday morning to work on.
Our customers have been good but they are losing their patience pretty fast as this is impacting them and by extension their customers quite badly too. We have 1 major rail customer that we are I think about 8 cars behind in shipping.
It's been tough on the guys. Usually the guys who deal with the cars come in around 4:30 or so and leave before 3:00. Lately they've had days they've needed to stay until 7:00 or 8:00 at night to finish closing up the cars. They're not happy I'm sure. I've not talked to many of them though because I'm still working from home like I have for the last 4 weeks.
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Heard from my son multiple times this week and he even stopped by earlier in the week to return my roasting pan. He's doing well all things considered. He seems a lot "lighter" having that old job behind him. He's told me a few more things that highlight that there were some significant toxic elements to the job. He said he's got enough cash on hand to get through to the end of March without any issue.
I took a look on the community job boards and there's a good number of openings in the area that he's qualified for. He's applied for a few that are outside of warehouse work but said that if nothing happens with those that he'll apply for warehouse work. I think he wants to work with people more than driving a forklift really allows him to do.
So nice to see him taking positive steps and taking charge of his destiny. A bit weird to hear from him so much but I think it's a combination of lonely plus excitement about his new kitten. The kitten and his older cat (who used to live here with me) are slowly getting to know each other and it seems to be going well.
We'll have brunch again on Sunday and catch up some more. I'm pretty proud of him for how he's handling all of this.
Not heard much from my daughter lately - I'll have to see about having an actual call with her sometime soon to catch up. She's just started working outside the house recently (she's a great housewife) and so isn't as available as she used to be for phone calls. There's a 3 hour time difference and she and her husband have a life. They'll be coming up on their 10th anniversary soon - where does the time go ... I was browsing old pictures and they were last up here about 7 years ago for my father's funeral. They have talked about coming for a visit which I'm sure will be surreal for them. I am pretty sure they have had visits from her mother and OM and I've visited them a bunch of times although not since they moved to the West Coast. I'm sure seeing just me and all these empty rooms in the old homestead will be odd for her.
Still - no actual plans have been made. I'll certainly try to get out there to visit them sometime in the summer. It looks like we'll all be pretending things are normal by then.
Pretending things are normal - that’s a good way to put it. Right now people are pretending this Omicron spike is over in places where it’s really not yet. I had a woman cancel her appointment for 3 family members because she wouldn’t make her 14 year old daughter wear a mask - in a doctors office - in a state where it’s required! I’ve cared for her family for years but am thinking of sending a letter saying that we anticipate requiring masks for the foreseeable future and that perhaps they should transfer care for this problem to their primary care doctor. (Who will probably also require masks!). The disrespect to other patients and our staff really is getting to me.
One problem we will be dealing with in the US - a severe shortage of primary care doctors. This was happening before the pandemic (who can afford yo go into primary care if you graduate medical school with $400k in loans?) but we are also looking at baby boomers doctors retiring. And one factor in them retiring earlier than they might have otherwise is dealing with the sudden increase in selfish, inconsiderate, anti-science patients. I’m seeing doctors all around me deciding to just chuck it a couple years early.
I’m stocked up in toilet paper, Andrew. What other shortages will we be looking at?
One problem we will be dealing with in the US - a severe shortage of primary care doctors.
Very true. One of my clients has been trying and struggling with ways to address this. Sadly peoples trust in doctors and the medical community in general are falling rapidly. So much misinformation, constantly changing edicts, and on and on. Sadly they are joining police, teachers and the media in a lack of trust from the public. Our healthcare keeps getting more expensive and the quality keeps dropping. On top of it so many physicians aren’t even allowed to truly practice medicine anymore. First it was the insurance companies who told them what to do. Now it’s their institutions who force them to practice by hospital protocol regardless of what they’d rather do. And if that’s not bad enough increasing numbers of pharmacists are refusing to fill their prescriptions, thereby overruling the physician and then medical boards are sticking their noses into things they have no business getting involved in. No wonder more and more physicians report telling their children, friends and family not to choose medicine as a career. We are all in big trouble if things don’t start to change. And these last two years of nonsense have poured gasoline on this already burning fire.
The surge of retirements I’m talking about is doctors exhausted trying to explain the science ho their patients who think they have “done their own research” by reading debunked misinformation on the internet.
I’m stocked up in toilet paper, Andrew. What other shortages will we be looking at?
LOL - Actually one of the products that is stuck passing through our plant is used to whiten paper so perhaps toilet papers is perhaps a good idea
I only have to assume that our regional hub isn't an isolated case. I was talking to some friends who work for one of the largest chemical distributors in the world and they are all having similar problems.
And just like your point with doctors, truck drivers are quitting for similar reasons. Many are close to retirement anyway as well and they are being pushed over the edge. And the more that leave the industry, the remaining ones have to work longer hours / take more runs and then also decide to leave the industry too.
This has been a slow moving disaster for well over 2 years now in the logistics business in North America and presumably other parts of the world. An industry that was designed around the principle of "just in time" delivery can, in my opinion, lead to cascading series of failures as individual parts of it gum up and break down.
There is no quick or easy fix. Even if all the companies were able to get staffing online, I'm thinking that it's going to take a while to un-gum the works. Could be just a month or so, could be longer. Certainly not days.
Sorry for being a harbinger of doom - always keep in mind that I've been wrong about some pretty significant things in my time
Time for me to get on the phone with the railway and re-juggle priorities which I'm sure doesn't help things on their end. Blech.
The surge of retirements I’m talking about is doctors exhausted trying to explain the science ho their patients who think they have “done their own research” by reading debunked misinformation on the internet.
Wow! If that truly is accurate it’s probably best they take a break as burnout has clearly gotten to them. If having to explain medical things to non medical people who have been consulting Dr Google forces them to retire… that’s certainly nothing new and has been going in since long before Dr. Google even hung out his shingle. I think it’s in the patients handbook - go to the internet or watch the commercial for the latest greatest drug and go tell the doctor “I’m pretty sure I’ve got X and that new Y medication I saw on television is the cure. Lol
At work, I would say biannually, we have these rounds that target the role and feelings of all of the staff in the hospital in certain situations and cases. Today we had them and the focus was “hero’s no more”. It was about how I’m the beginning of the pandemic we were hero’s, but soon, we became the target for misplaces aggression, for the pandemic, for our beliefs and the severe abuse everyone received from patients. It’s true, they have been angrier and more abusive than they ever were. Staff was lost due to this. Many left shifts in tears. The abuse became physical at points. Everyone got to talk it out today from the chief medical officer all the way down
Sever burnout is happening. And when pay doesn’t match the effort, people say “f this”
Exactly. This is no ordinary “correcting misinformation a patient got off the internet”. It’s like trying to deprogram your patients from a cult. Exhausting, demoralizing when they die because of it. And I can’t imagine how much worse for the ex hospital staff who have been told to change out of their scrubs before they go to their car so they don’t get attacked by Covid denying nut jobs.
Demoralizing when they DIE because of it
Corrected the word "die" in previous posting for kml.
At work, I would say biannually, we have these rounds that target the role and feelings of all of the staff in the hospital in certain situations and cases. Today we had them and the focus was “hero’s no more”
Now this is a totally legit issue and way way different than wanting/having to argue about masks or vaccines or ivermectin or the like. If providers are quitting over those discussions I maintain they may need a break. I see this no differently than flu shots or diets or medication or treatment compliance because it really is the same. A diabetic refusing to follow their treatment plan or person refusing flu shots should not be any more frustrating or push a provider over the edge anymore than a Covid shot or wearing a mask. If it does there’s more going on with the provider and they’ve lost their way.
But the hero’s no more is hitting multiple professions. These medical people took at least a psychological if not actual risk into the unknown to come to work early on. Grocery store people and truck drivers, delivery people did the same. Then we get farther in and they are treated poorly by customers or patients. Far worse yet many were treated poorly by their employers and had their jobs threatened if they did not comply. Just look at the Canadian truckers. I know so many healthcare workers who quit over this together with abuse from patients and then forced overtime, extra shifts on and on. How’s that saying go, no good deed goes unpunished. Then you have the whole defund the police BS and all the damage that has done in much the same way. Then we wonder why we can’t get people to work. All of this is related to the many unintended consequences over the last two years. Who feels really appreciated in their job right now? It can just be worse when you go from being honored and praised to ridiculed, mistreated and unappreciated.
Don you gotta turn off the Fox News. Seriously.
Just look at the Canadian truckers.
Don you gotta turn off the Fox News. Seriously.
LOL - the reality on the ground is far different than what the media shows.
Yes - there are some very vocal noisy people out there but they've not made many friends here. Certainly some support from the dwindling fringe element. My local Walmart had "a" truck honking in there a couple of weeks ago and waving flags.
Nazi flags, defecating on the National War Memorial, defacing the statue of a national hearo who gave up his life to draw attention to the need for funding for cancer research, threatening violence - weapons caches have been seized in Alberta - the greater majority of people are not supportive. A young friend of mine was very frightened after being threatened with physical violence and having homophobic slurs thrown at him. It's being well documented that quite a lot of the money that was sent in support of these people came from other countries who are trying to interfere in our internal affairs.
Sigh - steps down off soap box.
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Blizzard warning here. Going to stay home and putter instead of getting my roses and groceries today. Sunshine mixes in with zero visibility and many roads are closed.
Plus I heard on the news that 90% of Canadian truckers are already vaccinated. Surely the remaining 10% can just take jobs that stay within Canadian borders if they don’t want to be vaccinated?
K I think you are missing the point.
K I think you are missing the point.
What else is knew.
In hindsight I should have left the truckers out of it because I know the very least about all of that. The US is screwed up enough, I don't have time to follow another country. As to the rest, it’s all from personal interaction - actual healthcare workers and stories from them exactly like those of Ginger. It’s from actual business owners, actual physicians, nurses, RTs, techs, from actual law enforcement officers (all though there are totally two sides to the stories with LE because their culture and training needs to change - remember I responded to some 5,000 911 calls 80% also included a LE response.)
This is all real, it’s happening, talk to people outside of your bubble and you will see.
And 90% vaccinated? HIGHLY doubtful but as LH said, that’s not the point, even if accurate.
What Andrew said…
I got stuck in the middle of one of the freedumb convoys today and was late for appointment because of it. Never wanted to ram my car into the back of someone else’s car so badly before. The vast majority of these people aren’t even truckers (yes…Don…90% are vaccinated and do not support what their colleagues are doing nor does their own union/association who have publicly stated as much). Much of their funding is coming from right wing extremist groups…some from the US. I would love to send them all to Afghanistan or Syria so they can experience firsthand what it is like to live in a country where freedom actually does not exist. Just the fact that they can do what they have been doing with very little interference from authorities proves they live in a free country. The reality is that it will have no affect on mandates or public health orders… all it is doing is polarizing people more. 93% of adults in my province are vaccinated. This is a very small, but loud, minority.
I just don’t buy it - not for one minute. 90% of people are not doing or agreeing on any one thing. It just doesn’t happen. Not in those decade anyhow. They may claim something or may just remain silent but it’s beyond rare for 90% of EVERYONE to do anything let alone 93%. And you were late because some people are standing up for their body their choice? Boo fricken hoo. Mobs were closing the interstate and burning buildings to the ground in Minneapolis. Entire areas were taken over in Seattle and other places while it was termed a peaceful protest and continued for months. Stores were looted and destroyed. So an actual peaceful protest breaks out and it’s now an issue. Interesting how those who dish it out just can’t take it.
Just look it up Don. 86% of Canadians have had at least one shot, 80% have had at least two. Much better than the US where 77% have had one dose and only 65% have had two doses. And those numbers include children so the adult vaccination rate in Canada is surely 90%.
The size of their vaccine-denier population is about half the size of ours. Apparently Canadians are not dumb as people from the US.
You gotta fact check what Fox News and OAN are feeding you, Don.
For instance - in contrast to your claim that large numbers if healthcare workers are leaving because if vaccine mandates - here’s just part of a long list of the data in various healthcare systems: “ If you look at healthcare systems that have actually mandated this, they’ve retained over 99% of their workforce,” he said in support of the mandates during an August press event. “Their workforce does go along when the employer requires it.” As some provider organizations and states reach their first deadlines for partial or full vaccination, more reports are trickling out on just how many employees hospitals and health systems are losing to vaccine mandates.”
“ Advocate Aurora Health has terminated 440 employees who were not vaccinated for COVID-19. These employees, half of whom worked part time, represent less than 1% of the system's roughly 75,000 workers.
Albany Med has reportedly suspended 204 of its more than 11,000 employees as of Sept. 28. They have a week to comply before facing termination.
Baystate Health suspended 145 workers who missed an Oct. 1 deadline and ultimately fired 90 who remained noncompliant by a secondary Oct. 15 deadline. It employs nearly 12,000 people.
Beaumont Health has seen 70 vaccine-related resignations and has another 370 suspended employees who missed an Oct. 18 vaccination deadline, the system said. The suspended staff have until Nov. 16 to enter compliance before being terminated. Beaumont Health employs about 33,000 people, roughly 2,300 of whom the system said were granted an exemption to the vaccination mandate.
Centra Health lost 36 caregivers to its vaccination requirement. Five were terminated while 31 resigned voluntarily. The organization told press that the departures account for less than a percent of its total workforce and do not impact its staffing.
Central Maine Healthcare has seen 84 resignations and has 250 employees with no vaccination records as of Oct. 11. The provider said it will be temporarily suspending some services and has been in contact with the governor's office for support. The state's COVID-19 vaccination mandate for healthcare staff goes into effect at the end of October.
CHI Memorial said that less than 1% of its roughly 4,600 employees had resigned due to the vaccine requirement as of three days before it took effect.
ChristianaCare President and CEO Janice Nevin, M.D., wrote in a Sept. 27 blog post that the system's vaccination policy resulted in the loss of approximately 150 employees, the equivalent of fewer than 90 full-time employees. Fewer than 48 full-time equivalents provided direct patient care and fewer than 12 full-time equivalents were nurses. Nevin also noted that ChristianaCare, which employed 13,412 during 2020, had also hired more than 200 caregivers during the last month alone.
CoxHealth CEO and President Steve Edwards tweeted that 64 of his company's 12,500 employees (0.51%) chose not to be vaccinated and were discharged.
Crouse Hospital terminated 45 employees who did not meet the state's COVID-19 vaccine requirement. It employs roughly 3,100 people.
Esperanza Health Centers, a five-clinic network of community health centers in Chicago, reportedly lost two of its 311 employees. Notably, Esperanza did not allow for religious exemptions.
Henry Ford Health System reported on Oct. 5 that about 400 employees had voluntarily resigned due to the vaccination requirement, representing about 1% of the system's total workforce. Another 1,900, about 6%, had received medical or religious exemptions. The Detroit-based provider also noted that new hires "are already offsetting those team members who resigned."
Hospital for Special Surgery in New York lost 18 out of 5,000 employees to vaccine resignations and terminations.
Houston Methodist, the first to announce a vaccine mandate, said it had 153 resignations or terminations among its roughly 26,000-person workforce.
Indiana University Health had 125 of its 35,800 employees resign from their jobs due to the vaccine requirement. A spokesperson told Fierce Healthcare on Sept. 23 that many were part-time workers and that the departures were the equivalent of 61 full-time employees.”
K I think you are still missing the point. You do not want to live in a country where the government forces you to put things in your body that you are not comfortable with the testing.
The testing is as good as any vaccine we have ever had - and we have more data now than you had in the first ten years if a half other vaccine. But no one is making you get the vaccine - you just can’t do certain things if you don’t. Healthcare workers have had to get many vaccines for years. And honestly, if the anti-vaxxers didn’t overlap almost perfectly with the people who refuse to wear masks for the sake of others I’d have more sympathy.
Non one’s been forced to do anything. There are certain jobs that require vaccinest… and there always have been.
And Don…I really don’t know what to make of you. Sometimes you are supportive and then other times, I just think you are probably one of the most negative, angry people I’ve ever come into contact with. I get you disagree with me but I don’t get your disdain and your judgemental comments…not just about this…about a lot of things.
And yeah…you bet…I was extremely irritated. I hate being late for things and I wholeheartedly disagree with them and everything they stand for. Their upside down flags. Their derogatory, ignorant signs. Their claim to be “fighting for freedom” and their disrespect for the people who have come before them who actually have fought for freedom (dancing on the grave of the unknown soldier).
And the numbers are correct. It’s a matter of public record. 93% of adults in my province are vaccinated.
Non one’s been forced to do anything. There are certain jobs that require vaccinest… and there always have been.
And Don…I really don’t know what to make of you. Sometimes you are supportive and then other times, I just think you are probably one of the most negative, angry people I’ve ever come into contact with. I get you disagree with me but I don’t get your disdain and your judgemental comments…not just about this…about a lot of things.
And yeah…you bet…I was extremely irritated. I hate being late for things and I wholeheartedly disagree with them and everything they stand for. Their upside down flags. Their derogatory, ignorant signs. Their claim to be “fighting for freedom” and their disrespect for the people who have come before them who actually have fought for freedom (dancing on the grave of the unknown soldier).
And the numbers are correct. It’s a matter of public record. 93% of adults in my province are vaccinated.
D I was speaking more of the US. It’s not just jobs, it’s sporting events, concerts, plays etc. You are playing with fire when you allow these things to happen. Once the government wields its power and wins it doesn’t relinquish it. The people are frustrated because most of what we were told was wrong. A non vaccinated person is only hurting themselves. Yes I know they are also taking hospital beds but so are smokers and extremely obese people. Are these people going to be band from jobs, concerts etc? Could you imagine the push back and how these people would feel? Right or wrong you are entitled to your opinion that’s how a non vaccinated person feels. What about the people who were forced to vaccinate and had bad reactions and died? What would you tell their spouses, children etc? I know rare but it does happen.
So we were always told we needed 75% for heard immunity to kick in. If you are at 93% then Covid should be gone in your area?
Wow - the knowledge has evolved as we gained more scientific evidence about a brand new virus and as the virus mutated due to rampant spread? Shocking! You reveal a lack of knowledge about how science works and have clearly not been following the science. I suggest trusting the scientific community consensus which consists of people whose whole lives have been devoted to studying this stuff.
Even with Omicron, vaccinated people are less likely to catch Covid and since they have milder and shorter disease on average when they do, are also less likely to spread it. And they are so much less likely to be hospitalized that virtually all of the hospital-breaking surge is caused by unvaccinated people.
But masking and social distancing are also important tools and generally eschewed by the anti-vaxxers. And these restrictions are being lifted in many places NOT because the metrics say it is right to do so, but because whiny “free dumb” types have put so much political pressure. In my county for instance, yes, new case numbers are coming down but are as high as the PEAK of delta still. And the percent positivity rate on Covid tests is still 8.4% - far from the below 2% mark that is suggested, and way higher than the 0.5% mark that we had reached when we were truly in a lull.
I want freedom too. I want freedom to go to a grocery store where everyone is masked to protect me from contracting Covid and inadvertently transmitting it to a vulnerable patient or my friend who has had a heart transplant. Masking works best when both parties are masked. It should not be abandoned until numbers in our area are truly down to where they need to be by the science.
K,
Sometimes I really wonder if you ever read what I write on here. I think people are dumb not to get vaccinated but they should have a choice. If you can’t understand stand why then there is nothing more to talk about. I’ll leave it to Don lol.
I’ll leave it to Don lol.
I’ve given up. You can’t argue nonsense using common sense. Trust the science. Right because they have gotten so much so badly wrong, outright lied and changed directions as much as I change my socks. I will agree on one thing, all of this was new, we had to learn, we didn’t know. Now only if that was the stance that was taken. Yet it was not. It was postured they are experts, they know more than we do, what they say goes and if you don't.agree we will shut you up remove your job and keep you from living life. Then time passes and they were so badly wrong about so much and now try to claim oh the science has changed - not we jumped the gun, made wild guesses (like 2 million deaths within months) and constantly changed the goalposts. Then they can’t figure out why no one listens or trusts them anymore. This is how civil wars happen. This is how Canada happens. Not getting vaccinated only hurst the person who didn’t get vaccinated. Not wearing a cloth mask hurts no one. Even CNN And MSDNC now admit it. But the die hards who have made masks a religion don’t want to let go - even two years later. If it all worked as advertised we would no longer be talking about it - because it would be gone like we were told. They were wrong, but what else is new. Government is never the answer to our problems because they are the problem. And as a result medicine and science is trusted less today than they were two years ago. Perception is reality. But see LH, you and I don’t understand. We don’t trust the science. Ba ha ha ha.
Truth be told, everyone and I mean everyone should have been on the same page in beginning. That’s why we are here still here 2 years later.
At this point, people can freely choose to vaccinate or not. Is it stupid not to? Absolutely. If you WORK with vulnerable populations. I do believe in a mandate. Just like my hep B and varicella and MMR was . I do feel as if I should be vaccinated working with sick people.
To go to a sporting event at this point? Go at your risk. If you feel like it might be dangerous for you, don’t go. The government shouldn’t be controlling that. The government should have had their heavy hand right in the beginning of this to nip things in the bud. But we didn’t. And we suffered. Now is not the time to impose the control.
We have 0 covid patients in house right now. We have a lot of alcoholics in liver failure though. They take up a lot of beds. Along with the non compliant diabetics , CHF’ers and COPDers. Actually our census is super low all together now and I get a PTO day tomorrow . woot woot!
Is it time to start talking about pie again?
Had a lovely brunch with my son yesterday. After, we went over to his apartment and I met my newest grand-kitten. She came from the shelter with a name that he's kept. It's a variety of Eastern European wine I'd never heard of that I'm going to try. She's very chill and friendly. The older cat is kind of grumpy about things but that's been her state of affairs the entire life. I'm glad that the integration is working out.
One thing he mentioned made me thoughtful. I had commented that it's now coming up on a full 6 years that I've been alone and I mentioned that even when he was living with me that I was essentially alone as I rarely saw him. He said that he was purposefully keeping a low profile. Must have been tough on him. I know he was unhappy about the necessity of living here and feel a bit bad that he was (presumably) minimizing his own needs at the time.
He also asked about S and her burning hurry to move in. He had presumed that her lease was up or something like that and was surprised that the actual answer was that she just wanted to stop paying rent. I remember at the time being very disturbed by how hard she pushed through and over my objections to all sorts of things.
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Weather has been bouncing all around here in the last week or so. Saturday we had a blizzard, Sunday it was sunny and above freezing here, but an hour away where my son lives, heavy drifting and poor visibility. Certainly had high winds. There were numerous accidents and cars in the ditch that I saw. I did fill up with gas for the first time in a month - my word! - $75 to fill my little car. There are those who believe that we are headed for a financial cliff. I honestly don't know what I think on that. My boss is certainly in the "doom crew" camp and I know we've had to raise our prices on our products fairly substantially in the past few months and that's going to echo throughout the entire economy as everyone else is also raising prices on the basic commodities that we deal with.
The feel of spring is certainly making itself felt. I'm hoping that we'll be able to have our regular festivals like the Maple Syrup one a few villages over that I quite enjoy. Usually the sap starts running around mid-March. It's been a tough few years for the local community events. Fat Tuesday is a week next Tuesday. I'd usually go to the local Lutheran church where they would have a pancake supper. I keep checking at the grocery store to see if they have any paczki in yet but surprisingly no. "B" would make fugassa at this time of the year. I do wonder how she's doing and hope she's doing well. No real urge to reach out to her though - that chapter is well over and done.
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My birthday is coming up in a few weeks with is also more or less the anniversary of bomb-day 6 years ago. Going to be starting my 7th year soon. Where does the time go. I was turning 52 then and now will be 58. I've ordered a cake from my friend at the bakery around the corner and invited my son to come and share. I'll have to see if my daughter will be available via Skype - the 3 hour time difference makes that more difficult than when we were in the same time zone or when she wasn't working outside the house.
Last night, unusually for me, I sat and binge-watched some TV and skipped making Sunday Supper. The A&E production of Agatha Christie's Poirot which I have seen before and greatly enjoyed. It brought to mind how my xW had changed over the years. Mid-marriage there were a number of interests that we shared including the TV series Murder She Wrote. I remember trying to encourage her to watch Father Brown Mysteries with me and she said that "she should like it" but just wasn't interested. Perhaps foreshadowing of the fact that her interests had diverged from what they used to be. She did still like murder mysteries etc but they got progressively more violent to the point where I re-arranged the living room so that I could still be in the same room but not have to watch what to me were some pretty disturbing programs.
The upcoming birthday and anniversary is making me even more thoughtful and introspective than usual. In many ways I've just been drifting and existing it feels. Wearing a groove in the floor as it were. Being home with just the cat for company for over a month hasn't helped I'm sure.
The current state of affairs is certainly not where I expected to be. Past me would have been thinking of retirement plans and doing active things with my spouse. I've not even gone for my regular walks in months. I can't help but feel that a lot of this is fallout from my time spent with S but that was well over a year ago. I pretty much never think of her and when I do, it's with a feeling of relief that she's gone.
Part of the birthday as well is that it is one of the major milestones towards being free of making alimony payments. That will coincide with my 60th birthday. So - like seems to be common for many of us, a number of things seem to bunch up around certain dates.
Like our new friend Stella, I still wonder from time to time if my xW has regrets or looks back. I'm pretty confident that the answer to that is "probably" - but will never know for sure. It was interesting to me that when I've visited my son - even at times that were more spontaneous - that there's nothing really in his apartment that seems to reflect her. Perhaps she is also just drifting and existing too. I'll never know.
It's funny - 6 years ago I would have thought that I'd be "old" at this age. I don't feel old. I might look my age - I don't know. I know that from many perspectives that I'm not old. But that number does get bigger every year.
I'm still reluctant to explore the idea of dating. 3 years ago when I did dip my foot into the pond I was excited about the potential of something fresh and having my life enriched in the process. Now it's more a sort of "blargh - don't want to have to deal with that mucky bog wallow". There are a couple of women of my acquaintance who I am confident would want to date me, I chatted with one of them for a while in the grocery store yesterday in fact. But generally avoid anything that could be construed as reciprocating any interest. I had a look and my last text with "C" was about a bit over a month ago.
I look from time to time at the online apps - see the same faces and where 3 years ago I would have thought "I wonder what it would be like to be with this person" - now there's just no interest at all.
Ah well - time to get active I think. Tea pot is empty. I think I'll go for a short walk and then sit down to tackle the trucking / filling plan for the plant for tomorrow. We hopefully will get rail service tonight. We've got 2 tanks that are pretty much full of product to load into rail and 4 that are close to dry that need to be filled.
G- it’s great that your area is quiet. Mine is not. Our county still has about 80 Covid admissions per day and around 700 hospitalized Covid patients. Everyone should look at their county data to see what the situation is in their county. Most counties are NOT where they should be to stop mask wearing yet.
And for those who “ believe “ masks don’t work but don’t actually look at the data, here’s just one of many looks at the benefits of mask wearing: “ A test-negative design case-control study enrolled randomly selected California residents who had received a test result for SARS-CoV-2 during February 18-December 1, 2021. Face mask or respirator use was assessed among 652 case-participants (residents who had received positive test results for SARS-CoV-2) and 1,176 matched control-participants (residents who had received negative test results for SARS-CoV-2) who self-reported being in indoor public settings during the 2 weeks preceding testing and who reported no known contact with anyone with confirmed or suspected SARS-CoV-2 infection during this time. Always using a face mask or respirator in indoor public settings was associated with lower adjusted odds of a positive test result compared with never wearing a face mask or respirator in these settings (adjusted odds ratio [aOR] = 0.44; 95% CI = 0.24-0.82). Among 534 participants who specified the type of face covering they typically used, wearing N95/KN95 respirators (aOR = 0.17; 95% CI = 0.05-0.64) or surgical masks (aOR = 0.34; 95% CI = 0.13-0.90) was associated with significantly lower adjusted odds of a positive test result compared with not wearing any face mask or respirator.”
For those who don’t understand the statistical terms: wearing an N95 mask reduces your risk of catching Covid 6 fold. (If everyone you were exposed to also wore a mask, this would be reduced 30-60 fold). A simple surgical mask reduces your risk by 2/3 (and again, if both parties were masked, the risk goes down many more fold). I’ve posted before about where yo find the video evidence of a study comparing masks and explaining how this works. But those who want to stupidly believe masks don’t matter also don’t actually look at those links and the research. For the rest of you - look at where your county is. Numbers are coming down but many are not yet where they need to be. Do the responsible thing to protect your neighbors, their children and their parents.
Andrew, there is never a bad time to talk about pie! But then again, I'm a fat girl who likes pie, so maybe I'm jaded.
A big ole slice of pecan pie right about now would certainly improve my mood. (Puh-KAWN, NOT pee-can!).
Glad you shared a nice time with your son and met the new kitty.
I just celebrated my 52nd birthday a few weeks ago and I must say, 2022 is NOT my year, but hopefully you'll have a great birthday and an even more spectacular year. I hear you about being blah about dating. I was there after my D. I worked on myself and it took me about a year to get to a point where I was ready to date and then I almost immediately went from ready to blah. LOL I'm hoping you can find a lovely, slow-moving lady to share some time with when you are really ready to get back in the saddle, so to speak.
A big ole slice of pecan pie right about now would certainly improve my mood. (Puh-KAWN, NOT pee-can!).
Thought of you when I had a slice of pecan pie for my lunch Friday. My son-in-law from Georgia is also very particular about pronunciation. I can understand that - the way that Americans pronounce foyer is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me
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Decided finally to reach out to "C" yesterday afternoon and see how she's doing so sent a text. Got a response back - she was busy right then and would text back later. I've certainly come a long way where this doesn't bother me at all - just responded "Later then - back to my math". Years ago I'd be over-analyzing. We'll see if she reaches out in my direction. Or not.
Still not interested in putting myself out there in OLD - perhaps in part because seeing the same old faces, some with tinges of desperation on them is rather off-putting. One common thing I'm seeing is the same person putting up fresh profiles regularly - probably to get themselves to the top of the algorithm. I see a lot of cleavage - gotta market the goods I suppose and for some reason heavy eyeliner seems to be a thing in recent times. Makes some of them look like confused racoons
Part of me feels good because I'm confident that if I chose to that I could partner up fairly easily so long as I wasn't overly particular
Not what I'm looking for though
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Math is going to continue to be an increasing issue for me I think. One of our major competitors (they're about twice our size) and occasional supplier has declared force majure. For those who aren't familiar with the term it basically means that they are stating that they aren't going to abide by existing agreements due to conditions that are outside their control. This will most usually happen when there's a natural disaster like a hurricane that shuts down production or logistics. I doubt this is due to the very frightening international situation but is just the result of the growing chaos in logistics.
One of the bigger players in our market who we've been relying on to cover our shortfalls in production has made a similar but less profound declaration and has told us that the shipment we were counting on for our customers delivering over the next couple of weeks has now been pushed off by a couple of weeks.
Ick. So that means being very careful on what we sell in order to make sure we are covering our core customers. The phone is going to start ringing from customers looking for an alternate supplier. I was going through some of our pricing the other day as well and we're pushing out a nearly 25% increase on some of our lines in the middle of next month - in part to cool off demand and in part to cover our own increasing costs.
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Going to be a good weekend here though I hope. I've decided to get myself a new signet ring. I had one that I was very fond of that was a 25th anniversary present that I stopped wearing when I stopped wearing my wedding ring. My hands have just been feeling the need to wear a ring, I can afford it so why not. I may try a new bread recipe shared with me by a friend rather than my usual defrosting a frozen unbaked loaf. I think I have everything I need.
Going to try something different for dinner tonight - haggis nachos. I have some haggis left over in the freezer from Robbie Burns day so will do that up as a plate with some tomatoes, cheese etc. One advantage of living alone is that I can make things like that without worrying about the opinions of others
Tea pot is just about empty so time to get moving.
Still not interested in putting myself out there in OLD
Why?
perhaps in part because seeing the same old faces
What if someone saw your profile and remembered your same old face?
some with tinges of desperation on them is rather off-putting.
What does that actually look like in a profile? Why does that offend you?
One common thing I'm seeing is the same person putting up fresh profiles regularly - probably to get themselves to the top of the algorithm.
hmmmm. When something isn't working you switch it up. Interesting concept.
Part of me feels good because I'm confident that if I chose to that I could partner up fairly easily so long as I wasn't overly particular
So you are confident that if you are not picky and select the bottom of the barrel you will be successful? Way to think positive Andrew.
Not what I'm looking for though
What are you looking for Andy P?
Morning Andrew - how's life going? Yes, you should set some higher standards for the women you date - just because we CAN love a variety of people doesn't mean we SHOULD. On the other hand, I do find myself more able to accept romantic partners for who they are, and don't have to have someone who ticks every box (not an easy thing to find at our ages anyway).
I still think you should consider the possibility of dating outside your immediate area. Perhaps a city woman who dreams of retiring to a charming small town like yours in the future? Long distance dating isn't that hard if you're within an hour or two drive of each other, and might keep you from moving someone in too quickly.
I'm going to give myself a year to focus on me, my kids and my friends before I consider dating again. I know I've said I'm not sure if I'll date again - and I'm not sure - but having coffee with my friend SG at the golf course the other day, I did find myself noticing some fine looking golfers who didn't look like old Republican white guys! So maybe I will be open to the idea in the future, once a year is up. We'll see.
Thanks for checking in kml.
Things are generally pretty good - a bit bland on the home front although work is certainly keeping the little grey cells more than occupied (and watching Poirot)
I tried that new bread recipe that was suggested to me and it turned out very well. I learned a new trick too of putting my batter in a warm sink to encourage it to rise - something that is an issue with my house as cold as it is. In "old numbers" my kitchen rarely gets up over 70F in the winter which is too cold for this. I would never have thought of that but now have a new trick in my arsenal.
I also went to my jeweler on the weekend and they are finding me a new signet ring. I'm supposed to hear back from them early this week on what they can do. I wasn't surprised that a small town jeweler didn't have the exact thing in stock but I've dealt with them for years and they have done a few custom things that have been fabulous. And surprisingly custom isn't necessarily a lot more money than something they have on the shelf.
Had a difficult conversation with my son yesterday. It seems that his older cat is not at all accepting the younger one he adopted so after talking it over with me he decided to return the younger cat to the shelter. A difficult but mature decision. I did suggest that I could adopt her. He didn't want to take that step because he wants to give this cat a fresh start and in my house there could be similar issues with my older cat too who has never had to deal with another pet in the house.
I'm proud of him for being thoughtful about a very difficult decision and doing what is best for his older cat. I'm also rather flattered that he wanted to talk to me about it first and go over the options even if at the end it was his own decision. This is a couple of times that this has happened - perhaps a sign that our relationship has changed.
just because we CAN love a variety of people doesn't mean we SHOULD.
This I think is a major shift in my thinking in recent years. Finding out from bad experience that there are potential partners out there who cause more harm than good was a game-changer for me. Some people, if there are rude, outwardly arrogant, overly needy were I thought fairly easy to spot and avoid. I'd not dealt with what almost felt like a bait and switch before. What I felt was S's expectation that I would take care of her and her extended family financially and materially wasn't something that I was able to accept. I had fooled myself into believing what she presented as a capable person who had been sabotaged by circumstances and then got in too deep before the scales fell from my eyes.
Also in my first round of dating I wanted to find somebody who I could share my life with in a marital type relationship and had put pressure on myself to "do the work" of finding someone. Being as far out as I am now from my marriage I can see even better that there are lots of other ways to live my life than one that "needs" to have a partner.
On the other hand, I do find myself more able to accept romantic partners for who they are, and don't have to have someone who ticks every box (not an easy thing to find at our ages anyway).
You said it. I strongly doubt that I'd tick all of anyone's boxes either
I still think you should consider the possibility of dating outside your immediate area. Perhaps a city woman who dreams of retiring to a charming small town like yours in the future? Long distance dating isn't that hard if you're within an hour or two drive of each other, and might keep you from moving someone in too quickly.
Actually I just heard from "C" this morning and we're getting together for drinks next week. It will be nice to catch up - we've not seen each other since the summer. She lives a bit over an hour away from where I do but about 20 minutes from the plant.
I did find myself noticing some fine looking golfers who didn't look like old Republican white guys! So maybe I will be open to the idea in the future, once a year is up. We'll see.
Golf in my mind is over-rated. I think it was Samuel Clemmens who referred to it as "A good walk ruined". I'll play occasionally for charity or similar events and will do decently enough although I think that members of the foursome I was with thought me odd when I started laughing hilariously when I managed to hit the flag from the fairway. The ball dropped several more feet away and I think took 2 or 3 puts to put it in, but that was a pretty astounding shot I still think.
Bad joke time
Four married guys go golfing on Sunday. During the 3rd hole the following conversation ensued:
First Guy: "Man, you have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend."
Second Guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool."
Third Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her."
They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they ask him. "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?"
Fourth Guy: "That's easy! I just set my alarm for 5:30am. When it goes off, I shut off my alarm, give the wife a poke. 'Golf Course or Intercourse?', I ask. She says, 'Wear your sweater.'"
Happy Fat Tuesday to all out there. I still have a couple of paczki left and will be making pancakes with garlic farmer's sausage for dinner. Local maple syrup on top.
CMM was starting to teach me to swing a golf club, then we got rear-ended in that accident which messed up my SI joint. I haven't tried it again but suspect that it would just trigger more pain in that joint, as it's pretty crucial for a golf swing. And golfing is so expensive I don' think I could ever see myself willing to spend that kind of money on it. I can see the fun in it though.
Some people, if there are rude, outwardly arrogant, overly needy were I thought fairly easy to spot and avoid.
They are easy to spot. The problem is when you are looking out for them you can't have blinders on. A person can maybe hide who they are for 90 days max. The problem is Andrew you are usually shacking up and engaged by that point. If you do not want to date because of your past experiences that is cool and we completely understand but there are ways to weed the bad seeds out in time.
Really liking the "ignore user" button on here. Makes for a much more pleasant experience.
Had an interesting conversation with a co-worker yesterday. He was very worried because he was in his bank and they told him that his pension investments had lost a lot of money recently and he wanted my opinion on what to do. I'm sure a lot of people are having those sort of questions recently.
I suggested to him that his best course of action would be to find a financial adviser that he could trust and ask them. My only input on his money-losing investments was to not cash them out at this time but to wait to see if they go back up. He said that his primary concern was in making sure that he doesn't lose any of his money which in his late 60s isn't something to easily recover from. I told him that yes, there were investments where he could have his money guaranteed but that he wouldn't make as much off of them - which seems to be where he wants to go.
He said that his mother had an adviser that she really liked and trusted and that another of his relatives also uses them and he's going to go talk to them.
It's a bit of a weird dynamic here because in some ways I'm sort of kind of in charge of a number of things but actually not. And the people who are asking me for advice generally know far more about the topic than I do - they're just looking for someone to make a decision. Recently I was asked about filling a container that had a particular style of gasket and valve that wasn't really suited for the product. I had vague memories of this being an issue, asked a few questions and got the answer that there was another, better container available and that the operator thought we should use it. "Good choice - let's do that" - decision made
I recall a few years ago having hired in 2 experts in related roles for a project and they also needed a decision made. I stood there and listened to them discuss it back and forth, waited until they seemed to have reached a consensus and said "We'll do that then".
Time for a new thread more or less I suppose.
What would humans be without love?
https://www.divorcebusting.com/foru...flat&Number=2930763&#Post2930763
Really liking the "ignore user" button on here. Makes for a much more pleasant experience.
Come on my Andrew I am one fourth Canadian. Sometimes the truth hurts but is usually needed.