Moving forward with my life - 03/11/21 02:10 AM
Hey everyone -- looks like this is the board for me now.
My 25th wedding anniversary is coming up in a couple months, but there's a good chance I will be divorced by then. I have pretty much accepted it, but I still have sad times and those moments when I can't believe it ended up this way. He cheated on me for two years with a good friend of mine. They still work together every day even though I asked him to change that situation. I had no self-esteem in the beginning and would do anything if I thought he would love me again or it would change his mind, etc etc. Ugh, I gag just writing that. I made about every mistake in the book. So for the past four years I've been in limbo, hoping he would find it worth it to stay together. I think he put his time in so he didn't feel like a bad guy (as in he cheated on her and then dumped her). He says he tried, but he is the only one who would say that.
It's been a hard few years. I am exhausted. The positive side is that while I am sad about the marriage ending, I know I will be okay and am working to be happy on my own. I have WAY more self confidant. I am as NC as I can be right now (he filed on the 8th of Feb but hasn't moved out yet. He did move to another room as I said he could not be in there with me anymore. I have asked him to move out, but he is hemming and hawing about finances and I can't make him leave. Thankfully, he travels a lot, so he is gone often. When he is gone I never call and rarely text. I answer his with pretty much one word answers. It [censored], but this is what it is. I am determined to move forward.
We do have kids, so that is the worst part for me. I feel like I can deal with anything, but hurting them breaks my heart.
My 25th wedding anniversary is coming up in a couple months, but there's a good chance I will be divorced by then. I have pretty much accepted it, but I still have sad times and those moments when I can't believe it ended up this way. He cheated on me for two years with a good friend of mine. They still work together every day even though I asked him to change that situation. I had no self-esteem in the beginning and would do anything if I thought he would love me again or it would change his mind, etc etc. Ugh, I gag just writing that. I made about every mistake in the book. So for the past four years I've been in limbo, hoping he would find it worth it to stay together. I think he put his time in so he didn't feel like a bad guy (as in he cheated on her and then dumped her). He says he tried, but he is the only one who would say that.
It's been a hard few years. I am exhausted. The positive side is that while I am sad about the marriage ending, I know I will be okay and am working to be happy on my own. I have WAY more self confidant. I am as NC as I can be right now (he filed on the 8th of Feb but hasn't moved out yet. He did move to another room as I said he could not be in there with me anymore. I have asked him to move out, but he is hemming and hawing about finances and I can't make him leave. Thankfully, he travels a lot, so he is gone often. When he is gone I never call and rarely text. I answer his with pretty much one word answers. It [censored], but this is what it is. I am determined to move forward.
We do have kids, so that is the worst part for me. I feel like I can deal with anything, but hurting them breaks my heart.