Divorcebusting.com

Life is Good...

Posted By: Coconut

Life is Good... - 11/26/19 07:32 PM

Previous thread: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2812435&page=1

Not much to say, i spent almost 4 days in bed getting over strep throat (first time I've had that in quite a few years), feeling much better now and heading down to FL tomorrow for Thanksgiving. Going to stop in GA for dinner with my son tomorrow (he's there with his mom), Thanksgiving with the rest of my family at my sisters house on Thu, then we are having a big friendsgiving at one of my BFF's on Saturday. I'm lucky that I am close enough to go back home for holiday's and while I am not looking forward to the 10+ hr drive each way I am looking forward to seeing everyone, it has been awhile since i've gone down.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!
Posted By: Coconut

Re: Life is Good... - 11/26/19 07:42 PM

I was going to link this new thread to my old and respond to the last two posts there, but it appears my thread was locked. Iím unable to quote, so Iíll respond here.

Doodler, I agree that kids keep you young, and while I would consider thinking about it if I found the ďperfectĒ person to have them with and we had them real soon, I donít expect to neither find the perfect person or have them want to start baby making immediately. I donít have any issue with people who have kids late in life, for me, I have worked hard to be free to travel and enjoy my life in retirement and having kids would really limit my ability to do that.. Also, I donít like the idea of being so much older than my children that I am likely to pass away while they are still relatively young, Iíve seen a lot of friends have their parents die young and the effects that has on them.

Ginger, having kids post 40 is a personal decision, but honestly, I think it would still serve you well to have a full family. I feel like I had that with my ex and step son, I donít feel like that is missing from my life, but it seems like something you regret not having and I think it would fit you well if the opportunity presented itself. You are a great mom and having a real family would work well for you.
Posted By: Ginger1

Re: Life is Good... - 11/27/19 11:41 AM

I donít want to hijack your thread over here, but I want to speak to what you said.

First, thank you. I think I could have certainly loved more kids. Iíve loved otherís kids and being a ďbonus momĒ as Mís son likes to call me would have also been a beautiful thing.

My family was always ďrealĒ even if it was just me and her. And yes, I had hoped for more than anything to have a partner to raise kids with. Just wasnít in the cards for me I guess. I held on to hope being in my 20ís when my ex left. That if it wasnít with my ex it would be with someone else. But it just never happened.

And Iím 6 months away from 40. But the time I met a guy and was at the point of having kids, I would definitely be toooooo old. Iím a high risk pregnancy as it is without being of advanced maternal age.

And the biggest reason why I wouldnít? I faced the awful reality of my husband walking out on me with an infant. For another woman. And if that happened to me again in my older age, I donít think I could survive it. Once as a young mom full of energy and hope , and I made it through. Iíd lose it if it happened To me again, and now and that would be very unfair to my daughter

So, my dating pool stinks. And now I canít seem to find even an involved father who thinks the world revolves around him and his kids and his schedule and mine doesnít matter. I should just work around them as if all I built doesnít count.

Ideally a divorced man with older kids is best for me. And that means no more being bonus mom. How many more times can I be so fortunate that the children of the guys I have dated loved me and I loved them? Their fathers just didnít love me as much as they did, lol.

And back to you......you do need to realize if kids are a dealbreaker for a woman how you would truly feel and that you wouldnít be just doing it for them.

And I also think it so beautiful how you made your stepson your son. You are truly that kids father and itís a such a gift, going both ways
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: Life is Good... - 11/27/19 03:23 PM

Originally Posted by Ginger1

Ideally a divorced man with older kids is best for me. And that means no more being bonus mom. How many more times can I be so fortunate that the children of the guys I have dated loved me and I loved them? Their fathers just didnít love me as much as they did, lol.

And I also think it so beautiful how you made your stepson your son. You are truly that kids father and itís a such a gift, going both ways


Coconut, sorry for the upcoming hijack because Iím about to say something to G but wanted to first say to you that I agree with G. You have an awesome relationship with your stepson and that is the way it should be but it is hard work. Good for you for taking the time and really doing what it takes.

Now for the hijack.....G, it doesnít really matter how old kids are, you can still be bonus mom. It is what you (and the kids) put into it. My daughters were teenagers when I entered their lives but it didnít mean they needed any less parenting. You are a good mom and you can be a positive role model and parental influence for an older kid just as well as you could for someone as young as Mís son.
Posted By: Coconut

Re: Life is Good... - 11/27/19 03:32 PM

Originally Posted by Ginger1


My family was always ďrealĒ even if it was just me and her. And yes, I had hoped for more than anything to have a partner to raise kids with. Just wasnít in the cards for me I guess. i


I want to apologize, my choice of words was poor and I did not mean to imply your family isn't real, I don't think or feel like it isn't and definitely did a poor job of expressing what I was trying to say. I was trying to express that you have mentioned raising a child with a partner, as a team, and it seems to me that you would flourish in that role. As for the ability to have kids, that can obviously take away the choice.

As for me, it's hard to say that I wouldn't have kids, because I have always wanted kids of my own, I just don't know that I would want to start raising one at almost 50 (i'm 46). When asked, I do say that I do not want anymore kids and that really is where my mindset is at. But perfect person, wanting kids soon, maybe I could be convinced.
Posted By: Coconut

Re: Life is Good... - 12/31/19 02:11 PM

Had a pretty rough holiday.. I have done really well staying lovingly detached from my stepson, accepting his choices and actions as they are and not taking them personally.. until this holiday. He was originally planning on going to Georgia with his mother for Christmas, but ended up getting scheduled to work so wasn't able to make the trip. He goes to school in Orlando and I was in West Palm Beach (about 2 1/2 hrs away), so I was quite surprised when I asked him what he was doing for the holidays and he told me he was going to go to his Gmas house (about 30 mins from where I was) for Christmas morning and go to his Gpas house Christmas night.. Actually, I was quite hurt, not surprised.

We had been going back and forth over text for a few days (I tried to call him a couple of times with no answer) and I was pretty upset with him, this is the third year that I had not spent a holiday with him and I really took it to heart. I had a couple of heart to hearts with my mom about it.. Somehow, both my son and my mom thought it would be a good idea to surprise me with him coming over on Christmas eve, which really sent me over the edge and I couldn't even talk to him while he was there, I was polite but very distant.

He came back over the day after Christmas and I had a long talk with him, for the first time he opened up about how the divorce has affected him. I told him that immediately after I moved out of the house I lived really close to him for 5 months and he only came over to visit twice and that hurt, he told me that he was locked up in his room all the time and was talking to anyone including his mom, that his mother was worried that he was suicidal (he didn't say if he actually was, just that she thought he was), and that it was a really hard time for him. He stated that he wants to see everyone, but there is no way to do that because he can't get everyone in the same room together, so instead he feels pressure from everyone from everyone to spend time with them (he has 5 grandparents at different houses, me, his biological father and his mother). I told him that I don't doubt that he loves me, but it hurts when he chooses to spend holidays with his grandparents instead of me (turned out his mother had come down, but I didn't know that at the time), especially since he has spent every holiday with them and hasn't spent a single holiday with me (other than showing up for an hour or two and then leaving). anyway, he asked me to just give him time, that he doesn't have a home to go back to and that he is trying his best to find his way.
Posted By: JujuB

Re: Life is Good... - 01/01/20 02:12 PM

Thatís really sad coconut. Heís feeling pulled in a lot of directions. I canít imagine the stress. Would it be easier for him to spend time with you thatís not on a holiday? Why does it have to be a holiday anyway? Time is time and love is love so as long as thereís time throughout the year - that you guys connect thatís whatís important. Whatís also important is that heís not made to feel like he has to choose. Being the bigger person that gives him that permission - to not have to choose since thatís a huge stress for him- is a very powerful act of unconditional love. All kids (even adult kids) deserve that.
Posted By: Coconut

Re: Life is Good... - 01/03/20 06:22 PM

Thanks Juju, it really was sad, our talk (he doesn't open up often) was a real eye opener to me. As for time, it doesn't need to be holidays, he usually comes to visit me for a week or so during the summer and I try and visit him at school once or twice a semester.

Why does it have to be a holiday? It doesn't, and until this year I did a great job at not letting me affect me if he came or not.. But the fact is that for 9 years we spent every christmas night at my moms house, it is a big event with all the family and friends, usually 20 to 30 people.. then, he just stopped coming, it got to me this year, I don't know why it got to me, but it did..

As for him not having to choose, that has always been my goal and will continue to be.
Posted By: bttrfly

Re: Life is Good... - 01/11/20 08:21 PM

I'm sorry this was so hard this year C. I have a son who doesn't open up often and when he does it's heartbreaking.

I try to follow his lead on these things.

Give him time. {{{hugs}}}
Posted By: Coconut

Re: Life is Good... - 01/23/20 07:50 PM

Interesting circumstance came up recently that I though i'd share...

Back in the early 90's I was dating my first real love, she was living in FL but was from NC and most of her family was still in NC, so during the 3 or so years that we dated, we went to NC to visit them several times. I fell in love with NC and just knew that I would end up there. Anyway, on one of our trips she took me to a local legend site, it was on a dark hilly road and when you came down a hill the road curved sharply to the right, and in the field just past that sharp turn were windmill type structures that were made out of old road signs, so they glowed in the headlights. It was quite a sight being that there were 20 or so of them (and like 20 - 30 feet tall) and it was just an amazing thing to see out in the middle of no-where. Legend was that some guys daughter had missed the turn, ran off the road and died, and her father started building these as a memorial of sorts.

Anyway, in September of last year I wanted to take the girl that i'm dating to that spot, so I FB messaged my first love (who is back in NC but is married so I never reached out) to ask if she remembered where that was. I never got a response so just moved on. Well, this past Sunday I got a response from her, she starts of by saying she deleted the message because she got it right when she hung up with her lawyer, while she was going through a nasty divorce, and the last thing she needed was to hear from an ex-boyfriend. She then went on to say "let me say upfront because we have history... i am NOT interested in a relationship..." then more about sorry about being blunt, don't know if that's why your reaching out but i'm just seeking only what God has for me next..

While I appreciated her being upfront about what she didn't want, I was a bit taken back, because the idea of dating her again had never crossed my mind. When I look back at my life, she is one of the most special parts of it, she was my first everything, first girlfriend, first sexual partner, first love, etc... Truthfully, I would never want to spoil my memories of her and I by updating my memories with the current version, I am not sure why I feel like meeting her now would spoil the Romanticism I have of those memories, but I do feel that way. Kind of how when you go back to watch a movie you loved years ago, or play a game that was so much fun way back when, and you find it to be such a let down now..

So after she explained to me that the guy was an artist, his daughter didn't die at that sharp curve, that was just the edge of his property and so he built them there so people could see them, she then tells me that they were all moved to to a small town and a park was built around them, apparently the guy was a pretty successful artist and some of his pieces have been displayed at the Olympics and other prominent places. The park was named Whirleygig Park, which is what the art pieces are called, whirleygigs..

After a few back and forth messages catching up with how each others families are doing, etc., she closes out by saying let me know if you venture out to that park, i'd love to catch up with you..

First, let me just say, I am not interested in dating her, she is very religious now and I have no interest in following the path that would be needed to be with someone like that. With that said, has anyone here ever met up with someone that they held dear from the past and have it change the way you feel about those memories after meeting?
Posted By: doodler

Re: Life is Good... - 01/23/20 08:26 PM

Originally Posted by Coconut
First, let me just say, I am not interested in dating her, she is very religious now and I have no interest in following the path that would be needed to be with someone like that. With that said, has anyone here ever met up with someone that they held dear from the past and have it change the way you feel about those memories after meeting?


Coconut,

I've never met up with someone that I held dear in the past so I can't answer your question. However, I would like to address the religious thing. I grew up in a very religious family, but I didn't really care for religion. I told everyone that I didn't inherit the religious gene. I still don't consider myself religious, but thanks to a Canadian, Jordan Peterson, I do have a much different perspective about religion and religious people. I could go on at length, but the point I'd like to make is that your ex-girlfriend has gone through a very difficult time recently and it's very normal for people to embrace religion during difficult times. It doesn't mean that they'll necessarily force you into a strict religious lifestyle.

Here's the thing; the two of you had a great relationship in the past. She told you that she doesn't want to be in a relationship, but she would like to "catch up" with you. Two things: First, she has scruples because she didn't try to hook up with you during her divorce, and second, I think this is one of those rare opportunities that crosses your path and I think you'd be crazy not to take up her offer to venture out to that park. Again, I'm not religious, but you know, this could be what God has next for her. What are the chances that you'd message her right when she got off the phone with her divorce lawyer? I don't have an answer to that, but this seems like an opportunity of a lifetime and the FWB isn't really doing it for you (my assumption).

Go for it.
Posted By: kml

Re: Life is Good... - 01/23/20 08:43 PM

No. But most of my ex's that I had fond memories of I stayed in touch with. There is one guy who I dated in college, I was mad about him but he was not as much about me (or maybe just not in the right place), I moved on and he later started dating the tall blond rocket scientist (ok, molecular biologist) that he married and is still married to. I lost track of him after we both graduated and in those dark ages before the internet, I looked for him once or twice but never found him.

Ten years ago when my divorce was happening I finally found him via the internet - back teaching as a professor at our old college, still happily married. We emailed a little bit and ended up meeting at a Halloween party (nothing sketchy - he was playing at the home of an old professor of ours). It was the first time I had seen him in probably 30 years. It was quite lovely, he was still the same great guy, and when I was telling him about something going on with a guy I was currently dating he told me "You're a ray of sunshine - and you always were".

We email a couple of times a year to catch up and have lunch together every few years if he's in town. Absolutely no inappropriate behavior on either side. In this case, at least, it was a positive, a nice reminder of the way we were.
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: Life is Good... - 01/23/20 08:49 PM

It's a no for me as well. The main one who comes to my mind is a guy I went to college with and was totally head over heels for. We lost touch after I graduated, but found each other again a few years later and have always stayed in touch, exchanging occasional emails and facebook messages. I have some absolutely lovely memories of our time together and chatting with him now on occasion and seeing him every once in a great while (every 5 years or so) just reminds me of a wonderful time in my life.
Posted By: DejaVu6

Re: Life is Good... - 01/23/20 09:34 PM

Funny you should mention that Coconut because I'm in the midst of reconnecting with my junior high school boyfriend now...lol. And I've loved every second of it. I've also reconnected with my best guy friend from those days and it is so awesome to have him back in my life. We are so comfortable and relaxed around each other (best guy friend) that it is like no time has passed. With my JH boyfriend, we don't exactly know each other (we broke up 36 years ago) but we both feel a connection and have commented several times that it feels like we know each other. Catching up with people who know you when you were young and carefree (well mostly) is a gift which is why I try not to miss reunions. I wouldn't read too much into her wanting to catch up. I think it is normal to be curious about past loves and to see how they have evolved over the years. In my case, JH bf and I have way more in common now than we did then. We are supposed to be seeing each other this weekend so fingers crossed the attraction we felt the last time we saw each other remains. You should catch up with her if you can. I think you will be glad you did. (((HUGS)))
Posted By: Coconut

Re: Life is Good... - 01/30/20 03:46 PM

Doodler, she actually found God right after we broke up, she has worked for the church in the past (no idea if she still does), but she is deeply embedded in religion. While I believe in god and occasionally pray, I am not religious, and I do understand the importance for religious people to be "equally yoked" in marriage, and I don't want to give up my Sunday's of fishing and camping to try and get there..

KML / Dawn, that is cool that you both were able to casually reconnect with an old flame, it is nice to hear about how life has been for people we knew way back when.

DejaVu6, I went back and read a lot of your thread, that's quite a re connection you found, it is quite a story and going great.. just remember to take your time, it's easy to build things up in your head based on who he was, but take the time to get to know who he is before you start planning a lifetime together in your head.

Now, as for me, after all your great advice I decided that I would like to catch up with her, so I texted her and worked out a date and time and since it was out of my area told her I would research a place to meet and let her know the next day. I woke up the next day to a message from her saying before plans were finalized she wanted to cancel, that it wasn't her best idea to reconnect, it was nice to hear about how i'd been doing and about my family, that's really the extent to our need to catch up. Then again mentioned that her aim is to seek only what God has for her next.

It kind of seems like she was taking us meeting as a start of some type of relationship, I can't really think of any other reason for her actions... I just replied that I don't understand how you know what God has in store for you but I respect it and said goodbye. I was actually kind of relieved that I can leave her in my memories, just thought it was odd how it happened.
Posted By: LH19

Re: Life is Good... - 01/30/20 03:58 PM

Run for the hills brother and never look back lol.
Posted By: doodler

Re: Life is Good... - 01/30/20 04:42 PM

Originally Posted by LH19
Run for the hills brother and never look back lol.

Totally agree with LH; she smells like trouble.
Posted By: DejaVu6

Re: Life is Good... - 01/30/20 05:49 PM

Yeah...that's weird. Probably for the best.

Thanks for the advice on my sitch Coconut. I've calmed down...lol. The universe may have planned for us to reconnect but it has also planned for us not to be able to see each other for awhile. Between our work schedules, family commitments, basketball season, the unexpected death of a relative, a snow storm, etc... we haven't been able to physically see each other for three weeks now...despite living only an hour apart. Ah well...as he said in a recent text..."Everything at the perfect time. Must not be right now but I'm sure we will get there soon." Bright side...gives me lots of time to practice for my upcoming pool tournament in Vegas in March. Life is good!!! smile
Posted By: Coconut

Re: Life is Good... - 02/22/20 03:28 AM

I took a big step today.. I decided to stop being angry at my ex.. 3 yrs after I moved to another state, after many angry texts and emails I decided to extend an olive branch.. not sure if we will ever be civil, but Iíve decided that Iím willing for my step sons sake.. I havenít wanted her back for a Long Time, but Iím gonna start not wanting to hurt her now.. Iím in a good place, and I want my boy to be in one too..
Posted By: bttrfly

Re: Life is Good... - 02/22/20 03:49 AM

Good for you Coconut! xo
Posted By: Coconut

Re: Life is Good... - 02/22/20 04:12 AM

Iíve been watching ďRebaĒ.. loved her as a singer, but the show is surreal.. I could never be friends wit OM, or OW, as the show depicts.. but really, the show is about not taking life to seriously, taking what is in the moment and making the most of it.. thatís what I want.. I recently learned my ex is engaged, but it didnít phase me, he isnít the OM and means nothing to me.. but I have a wonderful woman that Iíve spent 6 months getting to know and who has never let me down.. Iíve learned I can look forward and back at the same time, and learn from both
Posted By: doodler

Re: Life is Good... - 02/24/20 12:51 PM

Originally Posted by Coconut
...but I have a wonderful woman that Iíve spent 6 months getting to know and who has never let me down.

Coconut,

Good for you! Did your FWB relationship blossom?
Posted By: Coconut

Re: Life is Good... - 02/25/20 02:30 AM

Originally Posted by doodler
Originally Posted by Coconut
...but I have a wonderful woman that Iíve spent 6 months getting to know and who has never let me down.

Coconut,

Good for you! Did your FWB relationship blossom?


Yeah, tbh, it was originally agreed to be a FWB R, but thatís not my style.. Iíve always set plans to get out and do things together, paid for the outings, dinners, etc.. but Iíve stayed away from pressuring her and sheís done the same, we just enjoy the time we spend together and donít question the time we donít.. she told me a long time ago that she isnít, and doesnít want to, date anyone else even though I told her I wasnít ready to stop meeting others.. but the fact is I look forward to spending time with her more than anyone else... so two weeks ago I told her I was focusing on only her, that if we didnít work it would only be because we didnít work, not because of someone else. I do struggle with the fact that she is still legally married though, even though they havenít spoken since way before I met her, and she dated others before me. Refresher, he is a disabled vet with PTSD, and she ran from the house fearing for her life (and her teenage daughter ran with her), so I donít feel like Iím interfering with their possible reconciliation, but you never really know for sure.

But yes, our R has progressed, she is really good to me and she fits my life really well.. about a month ago I started introducing her to my friends and itís been going really well...
Posted By: doodler

Re: Life is Good... - 02/25/20 12:15 PM


Yep, I think FWB is an awkward conundrum; it seems to me that it would be nearly impossible to remain emotionally withdrawn. Regarding the married girlfriend thing, be prepared to be pummeled... smirk
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: Life is Good... - 02/25/20 04:56 PM

I love the show Reba. I just hope I'm not Barbara Jean. LOL In the case of my XH's first XW, she was totally Barbara Jean and we made it work. We are NOT best friends, but we are cordial and friendly for the sake of the girls and grandkids.

Totally agree with Doodler....be ready for a smack down about the married gf. wink
Posted By: AndrewP

Re: Life is Good... - 03/04/20 01:53 PM

Sigh. OK - I'll do it.

You are a very naughty boy.
Posted By: doodler

Re: Life is Good... - 03/04/20 02:22 PM

Andrew,

Are you hijacking Coconut's thread? You're insensitive and incorrigible. But I guess the two of you are peas in a pod. Band of brothers. Wife stealing weasels. And you wear your girlfriend's knickers. So there, take that!
Posted By: Coconut

Re: Life is Good... - 03/07/20 12:36 AM

My son called me today, he was excited out of his mind; he was kind of spiraling.. Iíve done my best to be there for him, to be a rock in his life, but even though Iíve worked hard to not have expectations of him I have felt let down by him in the recent past. But today he found out he was selected to be part of the Presidential Leadership Commitee for his University. I had no idea what that meant, but could tell it meant a lot to him and based on his out of his mind excitedness, I could tell it was a big deal for him, and I was his first call.

Heís currently a 2nd year student enrolled as pre med, has been accepted as an intern in two labs doing research in diabetes (he was diagnosed as type one when a senior in high school) which is very very rare as a sophmore, and when visiting with him last week told me he is wanting to apply for a MD-PHD degree for Pediatric Surgery and labratory studies.. he has made significant accomplishments in his short life (athlete of the year in both junior and senior years of HS, nothing lower than A in all classes since 3rd grade, black belt in karate (his sensei was trained in Okinawa), and is well liked socially), but getting chosen to be on this committee really excited him and he called me first. I know that might not seem like much to some, but I often worry that he somehow blames me for not having a home to go back to, i was only part of his everyday life for 10 years so I would imagine it would be easier to subconsciously blame me than his mother.

The only good thing that came out of my marriage was him, I worked hard at being an involved father, I truly believe that my love of math is what inspired his love for it (once I got him to understand basic principles of mathematics) and that combined with the discipline and outlet karate gave him (I enrolled him in karate in 2nd grade) got him excited to learn.

This post really has no meaning other than Iím really happy that I made such a positive impact on his life..
Posted By: neffer

Re: Life is Good... - 03/07/20 06:11 PM

The sparks you setted in his soul are still there. There is an ardent flame of love between you both there, an everlasting bond.

Be proud of that Coco.
Posted By: kml

Re: Life is Good... - 03/07/20 09:42 PM

You did good!
Posted By: Coconut

Re: Life is Good... - 06/17/20 03:44 AM

Hey yíall, hope everyone is doing well and not too affected by this plague (ginger, Iím so sorry to hear about your aunt).. things are good here, my friends from FL have been visiting because life here is normal and itís a nice getaway for them.. living life in the woods has its benefits, and social distancing is pretty darn easy. My best friend from highschool came up for two weeks, we just had campfires in the back yard, I let him cut down a couple of dead trees I had and we went camping one weekend, but it was normal and did him a lot of good to get away..

As for me, things are good.. Iím lucky in many ways, Iíve been teleworking for the last few months which works out well for my introverted self, Iím finally getting a big promotion that has taken way to long to get, and my R with Robin is going really well. I can honestly say that I wouldnít change my life even if I could, going through my D was the hardest thing I ever did, but itís made me so strong.. Being strong and not afraid, thatís the way to live.
Posted By: kml

Re: Life is Good... - 06/17/20 10:42 AM

Quote
my friends from FL have been visiting because life here is normal


But itís not normal in Florida. Just read a report about a woman in Jacksonville who went out with 15 of her friends to a bar. ALL 15 later tested positive for COVID and so did 7 of the servers.

Be careful. This virus is nothing to mess with. My niece is an ECMO nurse in Oregon. Right now sheís treating a 51 year old woman with COVID, no pre-existing conditions, who is not expected to make it.
Posted By: DonH

Re: Life is Good... - 06/17/20 03:06 PM

And be careful cutting down trees because that too could kill you. Iíve seen reports where trees fall on people taking them down. And camping, wow there are ticks everywhere and they too can cause great harm. Limes disease is nothing to mess with.

Get my point? Life has risk, at least if itís worth living. Glad you are living yours and it is going well for you!
Posted By: kml

Re: Life is Good... - 06/17/20 06:55 PM

You can still enjoy life with a mask and hand sanitizer and 6 foot distancing - plenty of people are doing it. And it reduces your risk by 85%. If you could reduce your risk of Lyme disease or a tree falling on you by 85% just by wearing a little piece of cloth over your mouth, wtf is the problem??? Just because the news cycle has moved on doesn't mean the virus is gone.
Posted By: bttrfly

Re: Life is Good... - 06/18/20 12:12 PM

Nice to "see" you Coconut!
Posted By: anadybel

Re: Life is Good... - 06/24/20 06:42 AM

So you enjoy a lot your holiday.
Posted By: Coconut

Re: Life is Good... - 07/22/20 04:50 PM

Originally Posted by DonH
And be careful cutting down trees because that too could kill you. Iíve seen reports where trees fall on people taking them down.


Yeah, there is risk, especially when you decide to do it after sitting around BSing and having a few beers.. but they were small trees and an easy fell.. I do have one more tree to do, but the tree leans one way with two big branches that go in two different directions, that tree scares me a bit so I havenít tackled it yet.


Originally Posted by bttrfly
Nice to "see" you Coconut!
Thx bttrfly, youíre too kind, I appreciate you reaching out to say that, feels good.

Itís been a great month, my son reached out to me about a month ago and said he wanted to come up and visit (heís doing summer school online and has been bouncing around family members houses to spend time with everyone), so he asked me to fly him up and I told him I wouldnít cause he has two auto immune diseases and didnít want to risk it, so we agreed to meet near his moms house in GA and Iíd drive him up and back the from there. When I first asked how long, he said he didnít know, but probably two weeks. He is taking a full load this summer, organic chemistry, physics 2, and two other course that I donít remember, but needless to say he was swamped with school work, on most days he only left the room I set up as an office to eat and maybe 30 minutes of free time, but there were a few days where we hung out for several hours at a time. One of those days, 4th of July, I took him on a 10 mile trip on the Cape Fear River, which was a blast. It was my first time doing that stretch and I was surprised at the number of rapids, the first 5 miles of the trip was relatively calm with a few small rapids, but the last 5 miles was full of class two and a few class three rapids.

On three of the other multiple hour Free time occasions, the lady Iím dating, Robin, and her kids either came over here, or we went to her place for dinner and game nights. All three kids are one year apart from 19 to 21, everyone got along well and as my son told me, Robin and her kids are just the right amount of dysfunctional to be a lot of fun to hang out with. I was really pleased with how well everyone got along, and there was no shortage of insults or antagonizing going on, so I know everyone felt comfortable.

Overall, I didnít spend much quality time with him, but I did get to teach him how to cook a few meals, he is moving out of the dorm and into an apartment this coming semester, so heíll have to cook now... But it was just nice to have him here to say good morning and good night too. When two weeks came up, I asked him if he was ready to leave, he said no, he wanted to stay longer. I assumed that meant three weeks would be the number, so during a phone call with a friend I made arrangements to go on a big fishing trip at 10,000 islands in the Everglades with him the next weekend after dropping him off in Ga. well, after making the plans I realized I didnít ask my son if he was ready to leave and he said he would of liked to stay longer, but it was probably good since his mom was chomping at the bit to see him. On the way to taking him back to GA I made it a point to tell him that I felt like I lost a lot of time living with him because of the D and him staying with me really meant a lot, and he gave me the biggest compliment I could have imagined.. he told me that he spends a lot of time at his moms, at his biological fathers house, with his grandparents houses, and staying with me is the only place that feels like home. That meant so much to me..
Posted By: kml

Re: Life is Good... - 07/22/20 08:53 PM

Awww. that's so sweet!
Posted By: Ginger1

Re: Life is Good... - 07/22/20 10:20 PM

Life really does sound good
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: Life is Good... - 07/22/20 10:21 PM

That is awesome!
© 2020 DivorceBusting.com