KGirl - new life #3 - 08/24/17 02:09 PM
Previous thread: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2670115&page=11
kml, you mentioned sunk cost! Yep, I am very familiar with this. I talk about it all of the time with my (college) students that I work with. I work in a STEM major and we're frequently having conversations where they realize sophomore or junior year that a science major is maybe not what they wanted, and they would be more successful in something else.. but they struggle with giving up because they "already took all these science courses and it would be a waste." So I tell them a story about having a car that you keep putting repairs into it, and more repairs, and more repairs, and eventually there will come a time where it's going to be more cost effective and better to just get a new car, but people find that hard to do because they already put so much time and effort into the old one. And then I say "I'm not saying your education is an old car! But if we can ignore the past and look at things from THIS point forward... wouldn't this new path result in you being happier? And it's actually the same or fewer amount of credits you need to take?"
So the moral of that story is I'm pretty bad at taking my own advice (including my other gems such as "we can't control what happens to us, but we can control how we deal with it" and "imagine five years from now. Do you think this will have a big impact on your life?" when someone is crying about getting a C in physics.) And in particular I have a really hard time giving up my sunk costs when things get to the point of sleeping with someone. Guys I went on 3 or 4 dates with that never got past the making out stage before I nope-ed outta there, don't get a second thought from me ever. Not sure how to resolve that without being extra cautious, or trying to be more casual about stuff (but I don't think I can force myself to do that).
I've really gotta pull myself up and out of this mopey-ness. Feeling more depressed than I should about all this and it's hard to be motivated to do chores, go to the gym, hang out with friends, etc. I guess it's probably a normal amount of break-up recovery time, it just got drawn out way longer than it should have so I'm really only just now this week feeling final about things.
kml, you mentioned sunk cost! Yep, I am very familiar with this. I talk about it all of the time with my (college) students that I work with. I work in a STEM major and we're frequently having conversations where they realize sophomore or junior year that a science major is maybe not what they wanted, and they would be more successful in something else.. but they struggle with giving up because they "already took all these science courses and it would be a waste." So I tell them a story about having a car that you keep putting repairs into it, and more repairs, and more repairs, and eventually there will come a time where it's going to be more cost effective and better to just get a new car, but people find that hard to do because they already put so much time and effort into the old one. And then I say "I'm not saying your education is an old car! But if we can ignore the past and look at things from THIS point forward... wouldn't this new path result in you being happier? And it's actually the same or fewer amount of credits you need to take?"
So the moral of that story is I'm pretty bad at taking my own advice (including my other gems such as "we can't control what happens to us, but we can control how we deal with it" and "imagine five years from now. Do you think this will have a big impact on your life?" when someone is crying about getting a C in physics.) And in particular I have a really hard time giving up my sunk costs when things get to the point of sleeping with someone. Guys I went on 3 or 4 dates with that never got past the making out stage before I nope-ed outta there, don't get a second thought from me ever. Not sure how to resolve that without being extra cautious, or trying to be more casual about stuff (but I don't think I can force myself to do that).
I've really gotta pull myself up and out of this mopey-ness. Feeling more depressed than I should about all this and it's hard to be motivated to do chores, go to the gym, hang out with friends, etc. I guess it's probably a normal amount of break-up recovery time, it just got drawn out way longer than it should have so I'm really only just now this week feeling final about things.