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Sunny Days Ahead

Posted By: SunnyB

Sunny Days Ahead - 08/19/16 07:47 AM

Here's my last thread:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2676720&page=1


While I was copying the link, I took a look at the first couple of posts on my last thread. Guess what I was doing? Yep, moaning about MyNica, it was right after we broke up the first time. So here I am three months later, and although I feel the same way, it's less intense now. We text most days, he called me last night to share the beautiful full moon, and it's OK. We are settling into being friends. It's time to move forward. Here I go with a new thread. smile
Posted By: Underdog

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 08/19/16 08:35 AM

You're a super smart cookie, Sunny.

You're inspiring me to keep a journal at home so I can see if I'm in the same trap later this year. It's interesting to see how we can propel our thoughts and actions forward just by seeing where we're stalled out?

Have a great weekend!

Betsey
Posted By: Georgiabelle

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 08/19/16 08:53 AM

Sunny and Betsy,

Thanks you both for the kind words. When I read the kind things you both said I felt like Snoopy doing a dance. I don't know that I have much to add, but I appreciate the positive words.

Sunny, when things don't work out the way they want it absolutely svcks!!! Oh gosh I have struggled with that and I positively consider turning off the lights and eating the chocolate pieces out of the Chocolate Almond Special K cereal while listening to "Broken" by Seether when I think of being rejected. Not that your guy rejected you, but the deal breaker was a sense of rejection. Just remind yourself that for whatever reason, this was a no go that would have been a barrier at some point. I know you are sad and you did what you *knew* was best.

Hang in there! You will move forward with grace and humor. I just feel it.
Posted By: annab74

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 08/19/16 09:25 AM

If love were easy to get over when it ends, it wouldn't be as wonderful when it works. It's OK to grieve. You're getting stronger every day.
Posted By: JksD

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 08/19/16 04:01 PM

Hi Sunny!

I was too involved in my own pity party the last 2 weeks to pop by your thread.

Sorry about the friend that cut off contact with you.

I have had friends who dropped me like hot bricks once they knew about BD. Friends that I have known for years and would consider good friends.

I just had a falling out with some friends whom I thought were particularly unkind with uncalled for comments. I just quietly decided enough was enough. And I left the group.

But I guess maybe they do care for me after all because they have tried to talk to me. I am sure that we dont quite get each others' pov but it's nice yo know that they cared enough to reach out.

Yesterday, while trying to catch pokemons in my car at a red light, I had an epiphany. Yup , strange things like that happen. I decided that I was the only person, plus kid, that I will ever need. That there will always be people who will leave me for all kinds of reasons. It will hurt but it will only hurt as much as I let it. I decided that I am a work in progress and people could either take it or leave it.

I think I am slowly detaching from my people-pleasing ways.

So Sunny, maybe your friend has something on his mind. MLc etc. Who knows? Maybe it's not you. But you offered truce and he doesnt want to accept it. The bad is on him.

You are still gorgeous and I still want to grow up to be like you!
Posted By: Ginger1

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 08/19/16 08:05 PM

I'm sorry you are feeling down. When your soul connects to another, it takes time. And it does get less intense. I'm almost 6 months in and I still miss my ex NG. Some people we may miss forever. But doesn't mean there isn't room for someone else incredible to come into our lives.

I'm sorry about your friend. I have a feeling it's about him and has nothing to do with you. Nontheless, it hurts, and I I understand.

You are a smart, intelligent, beautiful charismatic woman. Just keep being you.
Posted By: Underdog

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 08/20/16 06:12 PM

Sorry for the mini hijack, Sunny. But I'm smiling and must address the cause.

GB, I'm totally laughing at your consideration above. I would totally pick those chocolate pieces out. I used to pick out the marshmallows from Lucky Charms, but my song of choice is Fake It by Seether. I love singing the F word... When it comes on, my D22 says, "Here's your song, Mom." Haha!

Sunny, I look at it this way. If you can't feel bone deep sad, you'll probably not appreciate top of the world happy. You got the yucky one out of the way. A couple of times, actually.

Cheers!
Posted By: Georgiabelle

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 08/20/16 08:28 PM

Omg!!! Betsy, THAT made me laugh. I did that with Lucky Charms too(back in college) and the song at that time was "Bridge Over Troubled Water."

I've evolved in a way I suppose :-)
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 08/22/16 02:03 PM

Hi Folks! Monday check in. And I continue to have nothing to say. LOL My weekend was fine, D13 and I took care of back to school lists, I hung out with friends on Saturday night. No dates, no drama. wink

Originally Posted By: JksD
Sorry about the friend that cut off contact with you.

So Sunny, maybe your friend has something on his mind. MLc etc. Who knows? Maybe it's not you. But you offered truce and he doesnt want to accept it. The bad is on him.
Thank you, Grl. I don't know what happened. I do know I can't control other people, that's one thing DB taught me well. And I move on.

Originally Posted By: Ginger1
I'm sorry you are feeling down. When your soul connects to another, it takes time. And it does get less intense.
Thanks, Ginger, it is getting less intense. I shed a few tears this weekend when I realized I had met him exactly 7 months ago. But on our six month "anniversary" I texted him about it. This weekend I didn't. Baby steps.

Originally Posted By: Underdog
Sunny, I look at it this way. If you can't feel bone deep sad, you'll probably not appreciate top of the world happy.
This is so true, Bets. And that's a conversation MyNica and I had early on. He knew I was being open and transparent, and he knew I was aware of the risks of doing that. Yes, I got my heart broken. And it was worth it. I'll do it again when another one worth taking a chance on comes along.

Time to go see how my BabyGirl did on her first day of school!
Posted By: Jefe

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 09/08/16 07:32 PM

Sunny, It looks like you are doing well.

For whatever reason you've been on my mind the last couple of days. Just wanted to reach out and touch you.

I trust the kids are healing well and things are progressing for you, my friend.

I'll stop by again soon.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 09/09/16 05:23 AM

Jefe! I was just thinking about you earlier this week. And after I had, somewhere I was out and saw the letters JEFE as part of a larger word but that really stood out. How are you? Have you posted an update somewhere? I will have to go on a treasure hunt.

I'm fine, I like my new job, my kids are doing well, I hang out with friends, I date. This weekend I'm going on a cruise to celebrate a friend's 50th. I'm looking forward to it.

Great hearing from you, Jefe, tell me more!
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 09/16/16 12:30 PM

Hi everyone. I feel compelled to post an update but really have nothing to say. Maybe that's when you know that you've moved on, that life is the way it's supposed to be. Maybe I'm there.

My weekend in the Bahamas was wonderful, I'm grateful for this group of friends who are willing to accept me as I am. I had a date with a man who decided on the drive home that we lived too far apart. I attended my youngest daughter's back to school night, I joined a new gym, and I my car needs a new battery. All things so extremely normal and every day that if I hadn't bled my life story on these pages the past two years it would never occur to me to write them down.

I'm not ready to made a dramatic exit, yet, but know that if I don't post often, its because things are going well. Weekend love to all my DB friends.
Posted By: MrBond

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 09/16/16 12:41 PM

Great to hear from you Sunny. For the newbies, maybe you can describe how interactions are with your X. Glad you're doing well.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 09/16/16 01:29 PM

Hi Mr Bond! It's been a while since I've seen you around.

I'm happy to describe my interactions with my X (otherwise known as Mr. P for Mr. Perfect). I feel I'm a little unusual in this area.

For those of you that don't know my story, BD was in April of 2014, but we continued to live together seven months after that. We both played along so well, including going on some family vacations, that our kids didn't know anything was amiss. Mr. P finally moved out in November 2104. Before he moved out, I drafted up a separation agreement (non-legal) outlining expectations of the separation, financial, child sharing, dating (there was an OW), social, and set a time for us to come together for a formal discussion, instead of leaving the S open-ended. We both agreed to it, and we both played by the rules. I don't often see this done, but I feel like it was critical to the relationship we have now. He knew I didn't want him to go, but he knew I chose to let him without a lot of drama. In return he upheld his end of the bargain--we kept our finances the same, I didn't have to worry about paying the bills; he maintained our agreed-up child sharing from the beginning (mostly); he didn't flaunt his OW in front of our children or our mutual friends; he didn't speak poorly of me in public. I spelled these things out ahead of time, and I give him credit for following them.

We extended the separation beyond the initial period, but in the end decided to divorce. He knew it wasn't what I wanted, but he was dead-set on it and I decided to let go as gracefully as I could. We chose a collaborative divorce process, started in August 2015 and ended with a signed agreement in December 2015. We waited until the next tax year to file, and everything was final in March 2016, just after our 26th anniversary.

Mr. P and I are friendly, but not friends. We parent together very well, we generally see eye to eye on kid issues, we always did. He comes to my house for holidays, but we don't socialize outside the family. Today I called him to ask a question about his work field of expertise, last week he let me know a piece of news about a woman from the church I used to attend. He still uses my house as his mailing address, and last week he made a simple fix to a toilet when he was dropping off our daughter.

It's not all peaches and cream, this summer we clashed about a family vacation, and sometimes I have to bite my tongue really hard. But I choose to overlook the small stuff, and call him out as gently as I can on the things I can't overlook. I know he's doing the best he can with me and my quirks.

I don't ask him who he's dating, he doesn't ask me, I don't know if he's out of town if it doesn't change the child sharing schedule, and he doesn't know why I went to Ft. Worth a few months ago. I found out he got a new car when he pulled into the driveway with it, and I didn't ask him his opinion on my new rug. We stay out of each other's personal lives, we stay out of each other's financial lives.

There was a point that I really wanted to be friends with this man, thought that a relationship I'd had since I was 22 was worth hanging on to in some form or fashion. I've let go of that idea for now, he doesn't seem to want it, and it's not worth losing sleep wondering why. I can't change the why anymore than I could change why he wanted a D.

I'm very aware that Mr. P deserves at least half the credit for this peaceful existence between us. He doesn't spew at me, doesn't try to alienate the kids, hasn't turned the in-laws against me. Labug told me once that Mr. P was a lousy H but would make a good X. She was right. I think I'm a good X, too.
Posted By: Zues126

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 09/17/16 07:33 PM

You really handled this well from start to finish. Pretty amazing Sunny. I'll never understand Mr. P. It must have been one heck of a messy closet wink

Glad you had a good trip. Thanks for posting.
Posted By: Maybell

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 09/18/16 06:18 AM

I wish I had your grace, SunnyB.
Posted By: Jefe

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 09/18/16 10:00 PM

Originally Posted By: SunnyB

I don't ask him who he's dating, he doesn't ask me, I don't know if he's out of town if it doesn't change the child sharing schedule, and he doesn't know why I went to Ft. Worth a few months ago. I found out he got a new car when he pulled into the driveway with it, and I didn't ask him his opinion on my new rug. We stay out of each other's personal lives, we stay out of each other's financial lives.


I'm glad you are steady and solid. And, honestly, I'm glad you two aren't really friends. He doesn't deserve a friend as good as you.


How dare you come to Ft Worth and me not know about it. ;-)


I haven't really posted an update anywhere. Maybe I should.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 09/20/16 01:57 PM

Thank you Zues and Maybell. I'm so glad you both are part of my tribe. smile

I've noticed a tendency in myself (and others here) to automatically assume the worst of our Xs. Yesterday I asked Mr P to swap a weekend, he said no. My instant conclusion was that he denied me just to be a pain. As we talked more, I saw that he had legitimate plans, certainly his right on his free weekend. Luckily, I didn't express my wrong conclusion to him, but that's something I'll have to work on a little more.

Jefe, yes, please update.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 10/03/16 10:29 AM

Hi everyone! I have almost nothing to say, I'm just not ready to drop off the back of the thread yet, so I'm posting. Life is steady and stable, I'm spending time with my kids, with my friends. Work is fine. I took a deliberate break from dating for a couple of weeks, but I haven't given up by any means. Two of my three kiddos have October birthdays, and I have a trip to Chicago planned in about a month. Life moves forward, slowly, steadily, calmly. For those of you in turmoil, hang in there, it's possible. Something better is on the way.
Posted By: Zues126

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 10/08/16 09:24 AM

Hi Sunny. I don't have much to say either. Isn't that wonderful? Thanks for dropping in, I'll do the same soon. Have a good weekend!
Posted By: JksD

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 10/09/16 02:55 AM

Hey Sunny,
Glad that things are working out great for you.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 10/10/16 08:13 AM

Originally Posted By: Zues126
Hi Sunny. I don't have much to say either. Isn't that wonderful?
Zues, you made me smile. smile Yes, I suppose it's good that there's nothing to talk about.

My weekend was laid back, escaped Hurricane Matthew. My sympathies and thoughts are with those of you who didn't fare so well.

Hi Grl, thanks for stopping by. cool
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 10/26/16 08:55 AM

Finally, something to update! smile A few weeks ago I unexpectedly received a phone call asking me to interview for a job with a large local company. I went, mostly out of respect for the person who had mentioned my name to the right person, but also because I figured it doesn't hurt to check things out. Things fell into place and I gave notice at my current job last week, start the new one on November 8th. It's a huge change for me, I haven't been in that kind of environment in years, but I'm excited about the and about the opportunity. That's more than I can say about my job now, so I feel it's right.

Because my new job is further away from my house and is going to be considerably more demanding, I need to put certain provisions in place for my D14, for instance, driving her home from school and to/from other activities. I'm working on finding the right people for that right now.

Other than that, things continue to be stable. October has been busy with D14's birthday, with a trip to see the older two kiddos, and with D14 being with me mostly the entire month because of mr p's travel for business and with the duck. So my dating life has taken a backseat, and there wasn't really anything to tell there anyway. I see friends when I can, and I"m headed looking forward to a trip to Chicago next weekend, connecting with some new friends and one friend I haven't seen in nearly 30 years. That's something to look forward to.
Posted By: Ginger1

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 10/26/16 10:08 AM

Congrats on your new job! You sound very excited, that's great! perhaps this is the change and focus you need right now.

I'm also glad you are going to Chicago. That'll be a lot of fun. Say hi to some people for me.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 10/26/16 11:32 AM

Originally Posted By: Ginger1
Congrats on your new job! You sound very excited, that's great! perhaps this is the change and focus you need right now.

I'm also glad you are going to Chicago. That'll be a lot of fun. Say hi to some people for me.
Yes, I"m excited about this job, it's going to be a challenge. It's the kind of thing I was thinking I should pursue a couple of years from now, but everything is falling into place now. I know there will be challenges, but I really don't have anything to lose by trying it out.

And you bet on Chicago, I'll pass your greetings around. smile
Posted By: Surfer

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 10/26/16 04:40 PM

Hi sunny. Came across your thread. I hope you find what you are looking for. What is it do you think? Has it changed over time?

Surfer.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 10/27/16 06:54 AM

Originally Posted By: Surfer
Hi sunny. Came across your thread. I hope you find what you are looking for. What is it do you think? Has it changed over time?

Surfer.
Hi Surfer, thanks for stopping by! Your question surprised me, I feel like I'm in a really good place right now. My X and I have a good relationship, focused almost entirely on parenting. I'm financially stable. I am looking forward to this new job opportunity. I have a great group of friends, I get out and about and try new things all the time. I take weekends away when I can. I have a great relationship with all my kids. Life is good.

The only area I feel like I'm still looking is a partner to share it with. I actively date, just haven't clicked with the right guy at the right time yet. I'm not in the "love will find you when you least expect it" camp, to me that's like standing at the door of the department store and expecting the perfect LBD to run up to me. I feel like I'll get better results if I actually get in there and browse the racks, try some dresses on, sit down in them to see how they feel. So I date and there are disappointments with that, but no horror stories.

So overall, I'm not lacking anything, I'm a full cupcake, I even have icing. But sprinkles would be nice. wink
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 11/03/16 06:57 AM

Hi Folks! It's a big day for me, it's my last day at the old job, and the day before I leave for Chicago. I'm so excited about the possibility of accidentally bumping into you guys who are there for rugby and other reasons. And playing some pool at Red Shoes Billiards. wink I'm also meeting up with a friend I haven't seen in 30 years, he's driving from Wisconsin for the day.

And, in other news, I had a second date with someone yesterday, and that's a big deal because I haven't been on a "second" date pretty much all summer. I have come up with all kind of excuses to dump guys after the first date lately. I don't know that this one is going anywhere, there are some huge challenges, but, still, it was a milestone. LOL

I feel like good things are in the works.
Posted By: doodler

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 11/03/16 07:07 AM


Have fun in Chicago! I love Chicago.

Congrats on the second date!
Posted By: Ginger1

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 11/04/16 11:16 AM

Have fun on the second date and have fun in Chicago! I've rarely gone on second dates via the online route and the one time I did it was because I convinced by other people. I just ended up listening to the guy biotch about being broke then I a paid for dinner.

This time I actually want one, and it sounds like you do too!
Posted By: DonH

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 11/08/16 04:24 PM

"I'm not in the "love will find you when you least expect it" camp, to me that's like standing at the door of the department store and expecting the perfect LBD to run up to me. I feel like I'll get better results if I actually get in there and browse the racks, try some dresses on, sit down in them to see how they feel."

Just had to say this comment makes total sense to me. I very much agree, although I'm not good at all about browsing the racks.

So how was the second date? Will there be a third? And perhaps my most important question, should you chose to just answer one, how do you meet these guys that ask you out? Even if it's just a one time date, you seem to go on more/meet more people than many of us here.
Posted By: JksD

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 11/08/16 04:47 PM

Sunny, hope your second date was great!
Posted By: JksD

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 11/08/16 04:50 PM

And I loved your comment about the LBD. Cracked me up as I imagined the perfect or quite all right LBD running up to me and forcing itself on me while I wallow in self- pity on the sofa with my dozens of cats and dogs.

Nowadays, I don't even make it to the door of the department store.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 11/09/16 08:37 PM

Don, since you gave me an option, I'll just answer the one question for now. I meet most of the guys I date, but not all of them, online through a dating site. When I put effort into it, I don't really have a shortage of dates. I don't know why. Beginners luck.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 11/09/16 08:39 PM

And Don, keep in mind that I live in a city. I have more choices than someone in a small town. That helps a great deal, I'm sure.
Posted By: Zues126

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 11/10/16 12:37 PM

Definitely NOT beginners luck. I admire the modesty but I know when I'm being hustled...

Congrats on the new job and have a fun trip!
Posted By: Georgiabelle

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 11/14/16 09:07 AM

Sunny,

Congratulations on the new gig! That is totally exciting. And spirit fingers on the success in OLD. You are a hot ticket:)

I loved your LBD analogy. I agree with your sentiments. I think everyone has to do their part to find love or companionship. The universe didn't drop Ryan Gosling in my back yard those 2 years I was single. Although, it would have certainly made composting a more exciting event.

Yes, you are the entire cupcake. No sprinkles necessary. Hope the week is well.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 11/18/16 06:59 AM

Hi folks! My new job has taken over my schedule, my hours have increased considerably, and my afternoon commute too. I knew all this going in to it. And I'm liking it a great deal. I'm getting used to the big corporate environment again, and more excited about the work I'm doing than I have been in a long time.

My dating life is on hold somewhat, work, daughter, closet renovation (ha!), are all in front. The third date didn't come to be, my friend says I dodged a bullet on that one after I explained it to her. I'm ok with it in any case. And I haven't put myself out there lately, and that's ok too. That's just where I am for a few weeks.

My older kiddos will be home for Thanksgiving, mr p has been invited, and he knows if he dumps the duck and procures a new girlfriend she's invited too.

Life is good.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 11/26/16 08:47 AM

Thanksgiving has come and gone, it was a lovely day. I had all the kiddos home, mr p came and brought the stuffing. We had a nice day. Rumor has it he's in off mode with the duck but I'm not holding my breath.

Work is good, I'm putting in lots of hours but that's ok. This is the brain challenge I haven't had in over a year and I'm enjoying the heck out of it. I'm finding time for the gym, spending time with my kids and with friends. Life is good.

I've now been dating a year. That's hard to believe. I started out so naive and full of hope and here I am sitting in a telenovella. I don't know that I'd have done anything differently, but I'm still surprised at where I am. Or rather, where I'm not.

We are going to get our Christmas tree today, while all the kids are home. I love the holiday season. smile
Posted By: doodler

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 11/28/16 01:38 PM

Originally Posted By: SunnyB
I love the holiday season. smile


How's the weather down there? Last week, up here in northern FL, it got down to 34 degrees one morning; today we're supposed to have a high of 83. The weather has been beautiful for the past two months, but we haven't had much rain.

I used to be a Christmas curmudgeon, but this year feels better for some reason. Hmmm...
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 11/28/16 03:29 PM

It's winter. We had lows in the 60s last week, my middle schooler thought she was going to freeze. She borrowed a sweatshirt out of her sister's closet to wear to school. Big Sis went to a different school, and Lil Sis got in trouble for wearing it.
Posted By: doodler

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 11/30/16 10:08 AM

SunnyB,

It's a balmy 78 in Tallytown right now. I keep bracing for the first freeze. I have a bunch of plants that won't survive a freeze so I'll have to be prepared to replant with some winter foliage.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 12/10/16 04:27 PM

Here's an update from the Sunny part of FL:

My new job is going really well, I'm very happy with it. It's a challenge in many ways, and it's about time. I was coasting intellectually, I had forgotten how good this is. It's a big office, I've met a lot of people, but no one that's my new best friend. Not a problem.

Between work and my kids, I've been too busy to socialize much, although I did go to a music festival last weekend and a birthday party the weekend before, I'm not a hermit. But the days of going out several times a week are over for now.

I've deliberately taken a step back from dating while I sort out some things with MyNica. We've had a couple of really long conversations recently, and I need time to process. So I'll be alone just in time for the holidays. I can't really say why I"m doing this to myself, but I know I need it to play out. I've decided to stop criticizing myself for it, stop imposing artificial deadlines, stop looking for a distraction. I'm going to just relax and let it be until one of us decides to rock the boat.

I'm not sure how Christmas is going to work at the Sunny Household this year, Mr P and I have some negotiating to do, but it will be OK. And then I'm taking D14 to TX for New Years Eve, that will be lovely. Things to look forward to.

Finally, some of you will appreciate this more than others: I'm having a beautiful new custom closet installed in the next couple of weeks, demo on the existing shelving happens Monday and Tuesday, there will be patching and painting and repairs to the wood floors, and then the new closet gets installed the Monday after. I might serve Christmas dinner in there. wink
Posted By: JksD

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 12/10/16 04:57 PM

Sunny, glad you're doing well!

Looking forward to your new custom closet. wink
Posted By: Sotto

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 12/11/16 01:35 AM

Sunny, you sound great and I'm pleased for you...

New custom closet - woo hoo!! - Don't you be showing that to your XH or he's gonna want back in...... grin xx
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 12/11/16 08:54 AM

Sotto, I couldn't resist showing him the plans and he's definitely getting the grand tour when it's done. But move back in? When he!! freezes over. Unless he wants to mow the yard, service the pool, clean my bathrooms,sleep in the guest room, and make me breakfast when I finally get a boyfriend and sleep in late. wink
Posted By: Ginger1

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 12/12/16 05:55 AM

I'm glad to hear you are loving your work! We spend majority of our waking hours at work, so enjoying what you are doing really adds to your life. And custom closets? Sounds like a dream. I have messy closets. It is funny, I have gotten used to not having to share closet space. If someone tried to take one of my closets away, I'd probably panic!

As for your Nica.... I hope it is all positive stuff. This time of the year is a rough rough time, where we invite people back to our lives because we are seeking comfortable connection. I have been guilty many times of that. I do understand it though. Just take care and caution:)
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 12/14/16 07:17 AM

Ginger, yes it's all good with MyNica. As far as letting him back in, truth is he hasn't really been out. We've maintained a friendship, we text, we talk, we see each other occasionally. The talks were about our status now and what it's likely going to be in the foreseeable future and a little about how we wish it were different. So we carry on until one of us wants out.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 12/18/16 09:36 AM

It's a busy day, I'm having a party tonight. I haven't hosted a party of any size since the D. It's my debut party of sorts. You are all invited. smile
Posted By: doodler

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 12/19/16 05:42 AM

Originally Posted By: SunnyB
It's a busy day, I'm having a party tonight. I haven't hosted a party of any size since the D. It's my debut party of sorts. You are all invited. smile


SunnyB,

I was halfway to your house when I realized that I'd forgotten my bathing suit.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 12/19/16 06:45 AM

Doodler, you should have come anyway. No one actually swam. There were a few of us who sat on the edge and dipped our toes in, though. smile
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 12/31/16 08:44 AM

Time for an end of the year update. MyNica and I are finally over. I say this with 100% conviction. The tipping point was a book my good friend JellyB recommended that just spelled it out in black and white for me. And I started thinking about my parents relationship and how it affected me and about my own marriage and what my children saw, what they learned about how a woman should be treated and what she should put up with. And then I looked at MyNica and realized this is not what I want for my daughters or his either. He treated me like a princess, that wasn't the issue, but it still wasn't the relationship I'd wish for my girls. And then that had to translate into, why am I choosing this for myself? It's been a long journey for me, I've learned a lot about myself, and I wouldn't trade in having met him for anything.

So I find myself here at the beginning of a new year with a new job and no relationship, exactly like last year. I remember feeling full of hope and possibility last year. This year I'm feeling considerably more jaded but I'm trying. I'm spending the evening with family in TX and it will be nice. They love me and I'm lucky to be with them tonight.

Wishing you all a wonderful New Year.
Posted By: JujuB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 12/31/16 10:45 AM

(((Sunny)))

Things that are right for us always seem to pop up when we are not looking. Like your new job! Maybe opportunities for a healthy relationship will come along now that you have closed the doors on a relationship that couldn't meet your needs.

Best of luck to you for the new year!
Posted By: Vanilla

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 01/01/17 03:30 AM

That seems like a good place to be Sunny.

Clean sheet for a new year.

V
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 01/01/17 10:51 AM

Thank you Juju and V. Intellectually I know it's true. In my heart, it's hard to accept that not only do I not have this man, I've basically been treading water for a year. But what are my choices here? I move forward.
Posted By: Zues126

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 01/06/17 09:48 PM

Happy Birthday Sunny! I hope your birthday wish comes true.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 01/09/17 06:34 AM

Thank you Zues. I had a lovely weekend.

I continue to struggle without MyNica, but we haven't been in contact other than a brief text exchange on my birthday. It's not easy but it's right.
Posted By: Courage

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 01/13/17 10:50 AM

Admittedly, I haven't caught up 100% on your sitch but I would definitely say you are not "still treading water". Look at all you've learned! You have come so far and sound so grounded and strong!

I admire you.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 01/14/17 09:23 AM

Thank you SS. I'd like to think that time with MyNica wasn't wasted. I really did learn a lot about myself and what I want in a relationship. And honestly, I've opened my eyes to some things about myself in the past couple of weeks that wouldn't have happened had we still been together. I'm recognizing patterns in my relationships that I was just unaware of, discovering what that means and how to change the parts that I want to. I'm amazed that it's still such a process this far down the road.

In the meantime, I'm livIng my life, enjoying the challenge of my job, being a mom, hanging out with friends. I'm not ready to date again but I know that will come again. In the meantime, I'm addressing some things with my house and health that I need to.I might even be ready to find a new church home. It's all good. :-)
Posted By: JujuB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 01/15/17 10:08 AM

Sunny

Your time with Nica sounds like a wonderful experience. You experienced the giving and receiving of love, at a time in your life when you really needed that.

I am sad for you that logistics did not allow your experience to have more permanence. It is unfortunate when you can connect to someone emotionally, spiritually, and physically, but more practical and uncontrollable forces must play a role.

As we get older, we do get wiser. But I think what makes it harder is that we not only have to find someone whose soul we can connect with, but with whom's life we can fit into ours.

We are no longer starting fresh and anew with someone. We are bringing our all ready long established choices, and families, and careers, and life styles into the mix. And unfortunately they do not always blend well.

I am going through something similar, but I think I am more of the nica so I can kind of relate. The funny thing is, what makes me attractive to P. is the way I am because of my past experiences. However those past experiences do not allow for an easy or probably future relationship.

You are an amazing and beautiful woman and I am confident that every aspect of your life will fall into place.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 01/19/17 07:06 PM

Thank you for your kind words JuJu.

MyNica and I texted a bit this past weekend because I apparently backpocket dialed him and he texted to see if I was ok. This weekend will be a year since our first date. I'm finally able to look at these things objectively and see them as bittersweet and not just painful. I'm getting there.

I still haven't been out with anyone else, I'm trying to learn to just be. I still have lessons to learn.

I think I might go to the rodeo this weekend. How's that for trying something new?
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 01/21/17 05:46 PM

The rodeo was fun. It was a beautiful day to be outside, I met up with some friends, and it was great. My Nica texted me this morning, it's been a year since our first date. We both reflected a little on the year and how our relationship changed both of us for the better. And I am feeling ok about it all. I think I'm almost ready to date again, too bad I didn't meet a cowboy today! Lol
Posted By: Zues126

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 03/07/17 07:18 PM

I seem to go in phases where I post a bit more and then I post a bit less. Hoping this is true for you and you'll swing back when the timing is right. This place starts to feel like family. Even if you know what people are going to say and their posts start looking repetitive you look forward to hearing it. In fact, maybe you look forward to it because it starts to look the same. I'm just projecting here, I feel like I'm repetitive and hope others don't mind. But you are free to come repeat yourself here anytime Sunny.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 03/10/17 04:39 AM

Zues, I think about you often, but don't come to the boards much. I appreciate that you asked about me. I'll post an update soon.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 03/11/17 08:06 AM

OK, time for an update on Sunny.

Work is still good, I'm working a lot of hours and commuting more than I ever thought acceptable, and I like it. The work is interesting and challenging, the people are nice, I'm getting to know them more every day.

My kids are doing well, my S21 was home this week for spring break, it was great to see him. My D19 didn't come, she stayed to work. D14 is doing well, making good grades, playing basketball, has some nice friends. All I could want for them.

Mr. P and I are still friendly, parent together well. He's back with the duck and buying a house with her. I have heartburn with that, something I need to figure out. Back at BD I made the decision to stay kid-focused and worked hard at removing bitterness and anger. That served me well. And once again I'm in the position of choosing what kind of person I want to be. Do I continue to hold a hard line of not having anything to do with the duck, even though she's apparently going to be around for many years to come, or do I give in and accept? I can frame the first as holding to my principles or frame it as being bitter and difficult. I can frame the second as giving up or frame it as being forgiving. I haven't come to peace with it yet.

For those of you who have been following along a while, you know that BD and D were tied up with my faith home and that I tried to find a comfortable worship space for the past two years unsuccessfully. I'm happy to say that I've found a good church, one I initially resisted going to, and it's a happy comfortable place for me. It's good to have that aspect of my life integrated again.

Here's the part a few of you were really waiting for, lol. I've recently been out with a new guy, tomorrow will be our third date. He's attentive, calls me every day. Being with him is comfortable, he's easy to talk to, there's chemistry there, too. There are some obvious downsides, we live a little too far apart, our work schedules are not compatible. Still, I can see he's putting in the effort for me and I am for him. So I'm willing to see what happens.

And, finally, a Sunny update wouldn't be complete without a comment about MyNica. Yes, we broke up and that's still sticking. Yes, I have talked to him, even seen him a couple of times. But we are clear on where we are headed and where we aren't, and I'm finally moving on. I wouldn't be dating someone else if I didn't feel that way.

That's it for me. Have a glorious weekend everyone!
Posted By: Vanilla

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 03/15/17 06:57 AM

Beautiful lovely Sunny.

Ducks quack, personally I would stay firm on keeping her in her own isolated duck pond. This duck isn't going to be a Swan any time soon.

Disappointed for you re your nica although someone different may help lift the blues.

It's going ok, smile that radiant smile of yours, it's a winner.

V
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 03/18/17 07:35 AM

My dear Lady V, thank you for stopping by. So far, I'm continuing to ignore the duck's presence, but voicing my displeasure if Mr. P brings it up. I don't want to accept her by accident, if I ever do, it's going to be a deliberate choice and I'm not there yet. So, status quo on that one.

Mr. P stepped up in the parenting department this week for D14, I give him credit for that. If he had done that while we were M, it would have been a very different relationship. But I am grateful for the help now, my new job wouldn't be possible without it.

My new guy MrCutie, is coming over to watch a movie tonight. He continues to be attentive, calls me every day, although I'm only seeing him once a week due to distance. That's not necessarily a bad thing, it means we are taking it slow, but I wonder how things are going to grow if I don't see him. For now, I'm happy and content to let things be as they are.

I'm off to a track meet to see one of my friends, her daughter pole vaults. :-) I hope everyone has a good weekend, and there are a few of you I'm especially missing today.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 04/05/17 05:58 PM

Zues inspired me to post an update, although it's going to be much shorter due to posting from my phone.

My job has been especially challenging due to someone that's one level below me being out unexpectedly for a family emergency. I've had to learn the detailed daily part very quickly, if I don't get those things done the entire department shuts down. So I've come a long way in the last few weeks, and the knowledge of the detail makes my job make so much more sense. It's been good for me.

I took my D14 up to see the other two kiddos at college last weekend, we had such a good time together. I rented an entire house for the weekend so that there was room for all kiddos and friends, space to cook and eat meals and hang out together. I loved it.

MyCutie and I are coming up on the six week mark, a true milestone for me. Other than MyNica, my previous dating record was five weeks and that was just one guy. Most were significantly shorter. So I'm feeling good about this one. There are challenges. Distance. Schedules. The possibility of some social pressures due to background, ethnic, and cultural differences. But he's really putting in effort for me, and I'm very content with our relationship at the moment.

Mr P and the duck closed on their house today. He says they'll be moving at the end of the month. I asked him if I could come see it.

That's it for me, next week will be three years since BD. And life is so good.
Posted By: JRuss

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 04/07/17 06:40 AM

"And life is so good". Awesome!
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 04/08/17 08:15 AM

Originally Posted By: JRuss
"And life is so good". Awesome!


ThanksJRuss. And I mean it. Five years ago, if you had asked me about my life, I'd have said I led a charmed life because I had a happy, stable marriage, three great kids, a job I liked, we lived in a nice neighborhood, everyone was healhty, I had good friends. I realized how good my life was while I was still in the middle of it. And then the crap storm started and many of those things were no longer true. But here I am and through some miracle I can honestly say that I'm happy, I'm healthy, I have new friends, a new job, and great relationships with my three kids. I am in the beginning stage with a new guy, and life is full of possibility. That's the one message I'd love for newcomers to understand, that the storm is hard but it doesn't last forever. And you get to choose what kind of person you'll be when its over. OK, enough of my soapbox.....lol.

Today D14 left for a spring break trip with Mr. P and the duck and the duck's daughter. I hope she has a good time. MyCutie is coming over later and we're going to have dinner at a little place on the water. I'm really looking forward to it.

I hope everyone is having a lovely weekend!
Posted By: Ginger1

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 04/20/17 07:03 AM

Sunny, I am very happy to hear how good things are going for you and that you have found someone you are enjoying spending time with. It sounds like he gives you time and attention and you do some fun stuff.

Live it up, girl! You deserve it.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 04/23/17 03:04 PM

Thanks, Ginger! I am getting along very well with MyCutie, we spent most of this weekend together. Somehow we are figuring out the distance thing, even though it's not ideal. It forces us to take things slowly, we talk on the phone a great deal, maybe more than we would if we lived closer. Overall, not a bad thing. But I'm not sure I see us still doing this in a year, I'm not entirely sure. But I'm not willing to break it off because of that, I'm willing to give it time and see how we manage to integrate our lives. In the meantime, I have never felt so much myself and so taken care of in my life.

We had a conversation this weekend about goals and he has some clear ones in regards to his career and lifestyle. He wants someone to share those things with. I'm not as clear about my goals, and it's not that his are different than mine, but I am no longer willing to set my goals aside for someone like I did when I was married. I'll support his goals, but I need to give some thought about what mine are and how those could fit together. I will never set myself aside again, and MyCutie wouldn't expect me to.

My D19 is coming home from college today (Mr P went up to get help her move) and my S21 will be home next week. That will be a different dynamic having three kids in the house again. But I'll happily squeeze out one more summer with them.

Not much of an update, and I'm ok with that. smile
Posted By: Georgiabelle

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 05/01/17 01:25 PM

Hi Sunny,

I've been away but wanted to say I am happy to hear you are doing well. Enjoy the good stuff:)
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 05/02/17 06:11 PM

Georgiabelle! So nice to hear from you. How are things? Have you posted an update, I'll have to go look.

Both my college kiddos are home now, so it's a full house. MyCutie's birthday is tomorrow, and we are headed to the Keys this weekend. I am so looking forward to that. Nothing else new with me. It's all good.

Glad you stopped by. smile
Posted By: Zues126

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 06/17/17 10:00 AM

OK Sunny, I posted my updates, time for yours. I had to dig this thread up from underneath a T-Rex skeleton!

What's cooking?

Update when you can. And in all seriousness, no matter how often you update, I am really glad you remain a member of the forums. I hope you are here for life.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 06/18/17 12:40 PM

Originally Posted By: Zues126
OK Sunny, I posted my updates, time for yours. I had to dig this thread up from underneath a T-Rex skeleton!


Yeah......I've postponed an update because I just have nothing exciting to say. I really don't.

My college kiddos have been home for weeks now, it's different having a full house again and there have been a few adjustments, but overall it's a good thing. S21 will be here another week and then he's heading back to his college town for the rest of the summer. D19 will be here until August, and of course D14 is here all the time.

Work is fine, nothing new there. It's my company's 50th anniversary year and theres a gala in August to celebrate. I have known about it a while but just asked MyCutie this weekend to attend with me. Which brings me to....

MyCutie and I are coming up on four months together. We're taking it slow, and I'll admit some of that is due to distance and conflicting work schedules. But that's ok, I'm not in a hurry. Earlier today he was talking about something he wanted to go to in Annapolis and he was saying that he could drive up and spend a few days and I could fly up for the weekend and meet him there. And I realized he was talking about October. That was nice. We had some good conversations this weekend. He's had a very different life than I've had up to this point, and some of his stories are way out of my experience. Still, he feels safe and solid and I"m happy for now.

Mr. P and the duck bought a house together and I've had even less to do with him since then. I took his house key back, made it clear that he wasn't to come in my house without my express permission, and I rarely talk to him outside conducting kid logistics and business. When we do, we are friendly, but I just don't care to have much to do with him. The kids have all been frustrated with him over various things recently, and they'll vent to me, but I don't get in the middle of it. He's showing who he is to them, and they know I'll be there for them when he's not. That's the way it's always been, this is just another level of it. Still, I'm grateful that they get along with him at all, and I gave them some $$ to take him to dinner tonight for Father's Day. Sadly, my money also paid for the duck's dinner but that couldn't be helped.

That's it for me. My good life rolls on.
Posted By: Ginger1

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 06/18/17 11:42 PM

great update Sunny. I am very happy for you. Keep living the good life!
Posted By: Ginger1

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 06/18/17 11:47 PM

great update Sunny. I am very happy for you. Keep living the good life!
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 06/27/17 02:17 PM

Thanks Ginger!

I was emailing a friend today and he had asked about MyCutie and I was trying to explain the difference between dating in my 20s and now, 30 years later. It's so much harder now, and so much easier at the same time. It's harder to find guys that's aren't carrying a ton of baggage who are interested in a woman my age and not in a boy toy kind of way. Lol. And it's easier because I'm much clearer on my deal breakers and at the same time my circle is so much wider. I'm not looking for someone who can support me or father my children. MyCutie is not someone I would have considered in my 20s. But here he is.

It's not all roses. I'm learning he can be very moody. He tends to man-cave from time to time and questions our relationship when he does. We are in fact very different people, we have really different backgrounds, we come from different cultures. Some of my family won't accept him and he knows it. And it may not work out in the long run. But I find myself looking at this all as a learning experience. Whether my newly gained knowledge will apply to my relationship with MyCutie or some other remains to be seen. The crazy part is that im ok with either.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 08/13/17 01:58 AM

Time for an update. The last paragraph on my last post turned out to be prophetic. MyCutie broke it off with me the day before we hit the five month mark. He couldn't get over the distance, schedule difference, and timeframe for the future. He wanted more of me than I had to give. He wanted more
of my time when the distance between us is an hour. He was ready to go off on long adventures, I need to get a teenager through high school. I get it. I wanted those things too, but was coming at it from a different angle. I thought I had found someone I could plan a joint future with, and it seems he already had a future planned and just needed someone to drop into it. And I didn't fit.

I've done some moping, but I'm ok. The ironic part is that he dumped me two days before my girls went on vacation, so I had the most free time I was ever going to have. I had been looking forward to spending it with him all summer.

So, life goes on. I work, I hang with friends, I have some projects planned around the house. I'm grateful for all the good. When I find a guy who wants to build a future with me, I'll be grateful for that too. Until then, I'm just fine.
Posted By: Georgiabelle

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 08/13/17 02:25 AM

I'm sorry about that, Sunny. Relationships are difficult but they seem particularly challenging at this point in life when you factor in work, schedules, kids, distance and then there is the simple fact of getting to know the other person. Yeesh.

Hope you had fun on vacation. Glad you are doing well. Sending you a hug!
Posted By: kml

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 08/13/17 03:42 AM

Aww, I'm sorry about that. It is an additional factor about dating in midlife - what stage of life are you and a partner in? Two people could be the same age, but one is retired and wants to travel the world, while the other has a teen and still needs to work. They're just not at the same place, and that's not really reconcilable for many people.

(Not that similar issues don't crop up in married people too. I have an employee in her fifties. Her husband has retired early. He wants her to quit and be retired with him - but this is only doable if they sell their house and move to another state, far from their four grandchildren who they adore spending time with. She'd rather stay here, work longer and be with family, but he's depressed and looking for the move to make him happy.

I've thought about this some because many men in my dating age range might already be retired, but I'm not going to be able to retire for at least a few more years - and I might choose to work longer. I just wouldn't be a fit for some guy who is already retired unless he's a loner homebody - in which case he might not be a fit for me lol!

It's not personal, and the good thing about dating at midlife, is you come to realize you don't want to date someone who isn't willing to put out the effort to be with you. I think your analysis is correct - this guy had an image of the life he wanted and wanted someone who could fit easily into that slot. Doesn't make him a bad person. Just not a fit.

I dated a few avoidant guys after my divorce. One of the things that sold me on my last boyfriend (even though he turned out to have serious issues) was that he was willing to put out the effort to travel to see me. You deserve a guy who is willing to put out the effort to woo you,
Posted By: Ginger1

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 08/14/17 02:17 PM

Oh Sunny. I am sorry:( Dating at different stages in our life can be difficult. I know personally finding someone in a similar stage in life has been challenging. Good for you for doing what you need to do by your daughter and for yourself. I know you will be fine, but I also know it [censored]. Keep surrounding yourself with your friends and do the things you love.
Posted By: Zues126

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 08/19/17 04:10 PM

Bummer Sunny. I can appreciate the fact this guy wanted to sail around the world with you. I'm just a little surprised that he wouldn't re-prioritize or compromise a bit. I'm not saying he's a bad guy, I don't think you would've been with him if he was. I just don't understand how someone could've been in SunnyB's life and not realized how fortunate they were.

Enjoy some time with your friends and don't make the mistake of thinking you're alone. As long as you have internet you'll always have a lot of people in your corner here.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 08/20/17 06:27 AM

Thanks Georgiabelle, KLM, Ginger and Zues. I appreciate all the uplifting words. I'm still moping a bit, mostly on Sundays, having a lazy Sunday morning with MyCutie is something I sincerely miss.

I filled up the two weeks of my girls being gone with a lot of friend activity. Happy hours, dinners, even went to an escape room. It's not hard to stay busy. My youngest came back from TX on Friday, she starts high school tomorrow. Life is about to get a lot more routine, and that's fine.

Zues, your comment about wanting to sail around the world is dead on. We were going to go to the sailboat show in Annapolis in October. Now I'm going to the Epcot Food and Wine Fest with friends instead. Open invitation to meet me there. :-)
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 09/06/17 02:18 PM

This is a hurricane update specifically for Zues. No, I'm not going to evacuate. Yes, I'll be fine. I'm a tough cookie. The rest of you know where to find me.

smile
Posted By: kml

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 09/06/17 05:31 PM

Please look at pictures of the devastation of Hirricane Andrew and reconsider.
Posted By: kml

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 09/06/17 05:33 PM

Hurricane. I'm a lousy phone typist
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 09/06/17 10:21 PM

I was here for Andrew. I have family in Rockport TX. I am well acquainted with what a hurricane can do.

I appreciate your concern. I'll be ok. I'm not in a mandatory evacuation zone and I have my supplies. If I need to leave after, I will.
Posted By: doodler

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 09/07/17 04:15 AM

I grew up in Miami. I remember my grandparents, and other old-timers, who used to pronounce hurricane like hair-i-cun.

We had several hurricanes blow through when I was relatively young. There was always a sense of excitement and I can remember the warm still air before the storm hit. My dad would cook on the Coleman stove and we'd look out peep-holes in the shutters and watch the effects of the wind and blowing rain. Good memories of stormy weather...
Posted By: Maybell

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 09/07/17 04:25 AM

Stay safe, lady.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 09/07/17 06:27 AM

Doodler, I feel that way about tropical storms. This one is gonna be different.
Posted By: doodler

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 09/07/17 08:14 AM

Originally Posted By: SunnyB
This one is gonna be different.


Yeah, I'm glad I'm in northern Florida for this one.
Posted By: Maybell

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 09/11/17 03:34 AM

Wanted to let you all know that I've been in touch with Sunny and she's OK. She wanted everyone to know that.
Posted By: Zues126

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 09/12/17 05:38 PM

Thank you for the update Sunny. I'm very glad you missed the worst of it. Haven't we all been hit by enough hurricanes in our lives? Think of what it would do to your closet...
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 10/29/17 04:49 AM

Good afternoon, everyone. Seems like its been a while since I visited, hope everyone is hanging in there. Last time on "Sunny Days", Sunny had broken up with MyCutie and was facing a hurricane......

LOL. And in a plot twist, MyCutie came to ride out the hurricane with me and D15, it was a really great weekend. He had called to check on me, found out I was going to be by myself (at the time I thought D15 was going to evacuate with her dad), and he didn't want me to be alone. So that's the way it played out. I was really happy to have him here.

And.....I ended up going to the sailboat show in Annapolis with him after all. He asked me to, and I said yes. It was a really wonderful weekend. But no, none of that adds up to us dating again. Which leads me to.....

In the past week, I went on two first / last dates. Nice guys, just not for me. It was the first date since MyCutie. It's tough not to compare new guys to him, but the part I need to remember to compare is the "he broke up with me" part. And these guys are asking me out. I don't especially like the beginning stages of dating, but you can't get to the middle parts without the beginning. So I do it.

My nephew (Mr. P's sister's son) got married in September and I went to the wedding in another state. It was a very small wedding and I had the pleasure of sitting near and at times making small talk with the duck. That's all I have to say about that.

I'm coming up on a year at my job, that's still going well. I still hang out with friends when I can manage it in the schedule. I'm re-doing my bedroom, and it's about time because I hadn't touched it (other than the closet) since the D.

I hope everyone is doing OK. Stop by and say hello. smile
Posted By: Zues126

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 12/31/17 01:34 AM

Happy New Year Sunny!
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 12/31/17 03:49 PM

Thank you Zeus! I came here to check on you and you’d beat me to it. I hope you have a wonderful 2018.
Posted By: SunnyB

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 12/31/17 06:14 PM

Well, well, well. Mr P proposed to the duck tonight. At the same restaurant where we held our rehearsal dinner. May they both get the amount of happiness they so richly deserve.
Posted By: Sotto

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 12/31/17 10:24 PM

Hi Sunny, I'm sorry to read that and ugh for the same restaurant..

Yes, I expect they will indeed get the amount of happiness they richly deserve smile

The errant XH of a friend of mine is getting married soon. She isn't the AP, but still...a group of ladies are joining her to have a nice spa day together on the day of their wedding...

Happy new year to you and I hope 2018 brings many lovely things to you xx
Posted By: kml

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 01/01/18 04:10 AM

The restaurant thing - is just demonstrative of the fact that the duck is getting your sloppy leftovers. She doesn't even know he wasn't original enough to come up with a new unique place to propose. Imagine what she would think if she knew your rehearsal dinner was there?

She's not winning any prize. She's getting sloppy seconds with a man who isn't half the man you married. She's having to live in your shadow. And she'll always be looking over her shoulder because she'll be married to a cheater.
Posted By: Fogg

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 01/01/18 07:01 AM

^^Agree, you're in such a better place than they are too, don't forget that!
Posted By: job

Re: Sunny Days Ahead - 01/03/18 09:33 AM

New Thread:

Good Day Sunshine
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