The next stage - 01/04/16 09:44 PM
Hello. I think I belong here now.
In a nutshell H left me for OW 2 years ago, they are still together and seem very happy, and I now find myself in the next stage of the process - acceptance by everyone in my family. They all see me now as someone who is strong, can cope with anything and who is moving on with her life. And that is who I am now. But my adult children have now accepted that their Dad and OW is a permanent thing and they all do things together as a family. They don't speak about it, and I would never ask them any details - I know they love their Dad and want to be part of his life and I assume they must like her too. It's other family members who tell me bits and pieces about where they go and the fun they've had. Not to be nasty to me, but they just assume I'm totally fine with the situation now.
H is now the cool Dad who pays a generous allowance into the kids bank accounts every month and takes them to expensive restaurants and sporting events. I sometimes feel the old familiar feelings of jealousy re-emerging and I have to take a step back and look at this logically - they love me and him equally and I'm pretty sure they wish our family hadn't split up.
H appears to have become the man only a fool would leave. I read other posts on here about the WAS behaving oddly and making poor decisions but it seems to be the opposite for him. He looks leaner, fitter and happier, he is no longer in contact with his old friends and the frequent late night drinking outings that were a source of tension between us for years. Him and OW go overseas holidays and trips several times a year. I can only take from all of this that he truly wasn't happy with me for years and he now is. It's as simple as that. I make sure I'm not in when he comes round to see the kids as I still feel so attracted to him and want to hug him when he comes through the door (which is what we did every day during our marriage after he came home from work)
I know a R is out of the question for me as he has told me himself he is now living the life he has always wanted to live and has no regrets whatsoever. He said this during a heated discussion about finances a few months ago. I just still find it so hard that our long marriage and friendship means so little to him. I still miss him.
As for me, well I am mostly doing great. Not dating but still very busy with work, friends, kids and fitness. And although I rarely post here, I still have a quick look every day. I am still a work in progress and still trying to better myself every day. I am getting there!
In a nutshell H left me for OW 2 years ago, they are still together and seem very happy, and I now find myself in the next stage of the process - acceptance by everyone in my family. They all see me now as someone who is strong, can cope with anything and who is moving on with her life. And that is who I am now. But my adult children have now accepted that their Dad and OW is a permanent thing and they all do things together as a family. They don't speak about it, and I would never ask them any details - I know they love their Dad and want to be part of his life and I assume they must like her too. It's other family members who tell me bits and pieces about where they go and the fun they've had. Not to be nasty to me, but they just assume I'm totally fine with the situation now.
H is now the cool Dad who pays a generous allowance into the kids bank accounts every month and takes them to expensive restaurants and sporting events. I sometimes feel the old familiar feelings of jealousy re-emerging and I have to take a step back and look at this logically - they love me and him equally and I'm pretty sure they wish our family hadn't split up.
H appears to have become the man only a fool would leave. I read other posts on here about the WAS behaving oddly and making poor decisions but it seems to be the opposite for him. He looks leaner, fitter and happier, he is no longer in contact with his old friends and the frequent late night drinking outings that were a source of tension between us for years. Him and OW go overseas holidays and trips several times a year. I can only take from all of this that he truly wasn't happy with me for years and he now is. It's as simple as that. I make sure I'm not in when he comes round to see the kids as I still feel so attracted to him and want to hug him when he comes through the door (which is what we did every day during our marriage after he came home from work)
I know a R is out of the question for me as he has told me himself he is now living the life he has always wanted to live and has no regrets whatsoever. He said this during a heated discussion about finances a few months ago. I just still find it so hard that our long marriage and friendship means so little to him. I still miss him.
As for me, well I am mostly doing great. Not dating but still very busy with work, friends, kids and fitness. And although I rarely post here, I still have a quick look every day. I am still a work in progress and still trying to better myself every day. I am getting there!