Ground zero - DivorceBusting.com

My previous thread was locked up

This is the link for my last
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2362095#Post2362095

Ground zero, new chapter, new page whatever you want to call it. I've moved to my apartment in colorado springs. I'm now 5 minutes from my kids when they are with stbxw, and I am an hour away from work, a little bit more because the train stops A LOT... oh well, The first week in my new place I had my kiddos and they loved the place. It is small, and no airconditioning but they are happy here. Which made the week go really really good for me. Cooking for them (which I did before bomb drop) cleaning (eh, yes and no) laundry, making their lunches, doing homework with them. It was great. Today I had stbx pick them up, I was going to drop them off at her "place" but she was gone so I got to spend 4 more hours with them. My parents came down and hung out with us for a while and that was great. I am not looking forward to monday and the rest of the week.

1. I am going to have to wake up early so I am going to be working out. I have the last 25lbs to loose and I want to do it in the next two to three months.

2. I have my art work to work on and I will be finishing pieces that I started but never got around to.

3. I will completely unpack everything and get these boxes broken down. I will make this small ass apartment mine and not just a place I come to sleep.

I have been thinking a lot about forgiveness and what that means. I have to let go of her in order for me to forgive her. If I don't let go I will always look to the past and what she did to me. I will play "what if" for a long time and never heal. I know I can forgive her. I do not want to hate her, and I don't right now. I don't want to resent her for the pain she is causing me.

I've accomplished moving, and that was my status quo. I can maintain my sanity.

I'm glad that you're making the new place your own. It's nice to have a calm, welcoming place to come home to at the end of the day.

And it's great that you're close to your kids. The train ride doesn't sound like a lot of fun, but the chance to spend more time with your kids has to be worth it.

You sound like you're doing better. Keep it up!

So great that you are focusing on you and creating the life you want! Keep the focus there and you will notice things falling into place.

kat

Sweet,
It is nice to have my own place. I'm ready to get completely unpacked.

Kat,
I am trying to keep myself focused, even though my thoughts are continually on her, I know in time with the goals I've set those thoughts will not be there or will be easily pushed aside.

Originally Posted By: brobafet

Kat,
I am trying to keep myself focused, even though my thoughts are continually on her, I know in time with the goals I've set those thoughts will not be there or will be easily pushed aside.

That's the spirit Bro, I have the same problem but I'll follow your example if you keep going.

Lanzo

Lanzo,

I'm really trying. Currently in a discussion on judgement. This is something that I am struggling with. Do I have a right to judge someone that has done me wrong and continues to do so?

......that my friend is the rub.

I commute over an hour to work each day as well.

I wish I was taking a train...that way I could get some reading or grading done...instead, I have to focus on driving.

think of ways you could turn this commute into something advantageous

Figgeroni,

I am, the drive or the train ride doesn't really bother me. The drive is quick and the train ride is easy just longer than I thought it would be. I usually sketch while I am on the train.

Journaling:

I have therapy tonight. I am going to ask my C about homework something that I can do to begin to heal other than writing things out, or talking to others about how I feel. Im working on me but really just maintaining it all. Having my own place helps me not be a couch potato, with the cleaning and wanting my place clean, just another slot on maintaining....Subguy your a genius, I love the maintaining rather than the "Work on You" blech what if I don't want to work on me......what if I just want to be. Right now I just want to be. I want a moment in life where my wife doesn't cross my mind and where I don't get a familiar scent of her and wish she was in my fricken arms!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Work on you, you work on you. Suck it.....I honestly feel like that is the worst thing you can say to someone that comes here.

Hey I'm going to pour my feelings out tell you how I feel. How I can barely make it to work, or how I miss the hell out of my children. How I could so easily hate the woman and be justified for it, but don't, and all you can post to me is "Sounds like you need to work on YOU"

Thanks a-hole thanks. you work on you. I want substance and validation to how I feel. I know others feel like I do and I can read about it but sometimes you want someone to reply to you and give you support. Not just eight words. I wrote six paragraphs and that is all you are going to say to me. I'd rather you tell me you are going to pray for me. Not tell me to work on me. I'm glad you've been through this and you "worked" on you but guess what I'm four months in since bomb drop and working on me is waking up, taking a shower, and making it in to work on time.

Originally Posted By: Brobafet

Work on you, you work on you. Suck it.....I honestly feel like that is the worst thing you can say to someone that comes here.

Hey I'm going to pour my feelings out tell you how I feel. How I can barely make it through work, or how I miss the hell out of my children. How I could so easily hate the woman and be justified for it, but don't, and all you can post to me is "Sounds like you need to work on YOU"

I'm telling you Bro most days I could post the same.

Lanzo

Lol, Thanks Lanzo. I'm glad we are in the same boat. "Hey there's some fish to the left!"

Went to therapy last night. I gots some homework!!! My session started out with me saying that I don't know who I am but a dad. As it went a long I was adding more and more to that list and not even realizing it. I have to say that even though my split is recent, Me maintaining me has been my saving grace. I'm not adding much to my life, I'm not going out and doing things that might just distract me for a little while, covering up the hurt and betrayal that I've experienced. I'm healing. I feel better, and maintaining is what it is all about.