Ok, new thread. My new challenge to myself is see where I want to be in 2 years and find the steps to make it happen. Biggest reason for this is that while I like my job it won't pay me enough to support the 5 of us once alimony stops and my 2nd son comes off of child support.
Good thing I always trained myself to look ahead.
kat
FIRST!!!!!! I think it's hot enough today that I would like a mint julep please.
So, are you looking to stay in the same business, go into business for yourself, get published, or change careers?
I want to get published. As I know that can take a while especially since I am no where near finished, I don't just want to jump into another frying pan. Customer service jobs since I was 15 so nearly 33 years experience. Something else...PLEASE!!
kat
Oh and here is your drink even though I don't have a clue how to make them.
Ran around during lunch yesterday picking up last minute items for D13. She will be going to DC next Tuesday. So fun to see her so excited and at the same time wishing it was me.
S19 got a new job at one of the local hospitals. Better pay and hours though he might still work a shift or two at the movie theater.
Can't believe we are nearly half way through June.
kat
Great! What is he doing at the hospital? Does he plan on going into the medical field?
Has your D13 ever been to DC? I may have asked that before but I can't remember!
S19 will be doing meal service 3-7:30 I am guessing 5 days a week. He gets night per diem for hours after 6 as well as time on weekends and holidays. He seems really excited plus the hospitals are less than a mile from our house. He is going to be making at least $2.00 more an hour.
As for D13, nope she has never been. She hasn't been on a plane except when I was pregnant with her and took her to Denmark that way.
We have driven to Orlando 3 times, surrounding states and to SD to Mt Rushmore.
I am trying to think of some mini-trip we can take as I have 3 weeks vacation. I am saving most of the time for around the holidays when my daughter, an exchange student from Slovakia, will be here.
Now just need to figure out a way for me to make more money...
kat
That is wonderful for your son! Congrats to him!
She will absolutely love DC. I've only been on my own, not with an organized group, but have done it twice so far and am itching to go back. Absolutely LOVE it!
A mini-trip? Hmmmmm..........How about taking them to Crater of Diamonds State Park in Arkansas? Have you done that? You can acutally dig for diamonds. People pull them up all the time there. Lots of fun! It's a little over an 8 hour drive, but what a unique adventure!
Funny, I was just thinking about Arkansas!
Of course I will need to see how his schedule works before I plan anything. Even though he is older, he hates to not be able to go with us anywhere. I don't blame him. lol
I suppose the good thing is that I wouldn't necessarily have to plan it over the weekend for the kids, since it is summer. Something to consider that is for sure.
Thanks Mish!
kat
You're welcome! Hot Springs is near there too. It's a two-fer! LOL
I believe Kim (YoYo) might not be too far from there either. It might become a three fer! ha, ha
So the big day is tomorrow and I already started having crazy dreams about over sleeping, leaving one of the kids I am taking...all kinds of stuff. I can only imagine what tonight will be like when I have to get us up at 2 am!
My d13 isn't so little anymore.
kat
UGH!!!! I know how that is. Not sleeping because you are afraid of forgetting something or not making it on time. That's NO FUN!
At least I took tomorrow off as a vacation day so once I get home, I can go back to bed for a bit. Then a high school friend of mine will be in town and I am going to try to meet up with him and his wife and daughter for lunch. then if I am still semi-awake I am going to go get my driver's license renewed since I am off and have time.
Not going to happen though if I am not feeling it. who needs a bad picture for 6 years? Not me! lol
kat
I just got home. It was harder on me than for her. I hope she didn't see me cry. One of the other parents came over and patted my back. " She'll be fine" he said. Made me cry a tad more. I know she will be fine.
I wanted to show her everything the first time. Maybe that is selfish, I don't know. The other part is she left me. She is slowly breaking away and while I am so proud of her, my heart is breaking too.
kat
Oh, I feel the pain coming through in your words.
She is the child the most like me. I wanted her to do this, I just had no clue how hard it was going to be. For me that is.
It is only until Friday. Yet, having this first adventure, I know many are to follow. I hope she will still want me to take her at least on a few of them.
kat
So how are you doing with a chick out of the nest? Only one more day!
I have been kept busy. It helped quite a bit meeting up with one of my dearest friends from way back when and his wife on Tuesday afternoon. Then last night all of my cable/internet was out so got to deal with the cable company about that.
The school sponsor has been great about giving us updates each night. I didn't ask D13 to call as I wanted her to just enjoy her experience and not call me every night. If she needs to reach me, she can go through the sponsor. So far though so good.
I can hardly wait to see her tomorrow. I have been keeping ex posted on the daily updates. He made a comment about her becoming a world traveler! I hope so! Just that I want to go too!!
kat
Looks as if her flight is going to be delayed getting in darn it!
kat
Now they are delayed further...not getting in until after midnight! Glad I have a computer and can keep up on the flight info otherwise I would be waiting 3 + hours! I am going to take a short nap so I won't be so tired when I drive out to the airport which is a bit more than an hour away.
Can't wait to see her! Kat
The flight that should have gotten in at 9:15 arrived at 1:49am. We got home a bit after 3. I was so happy when I saw her and she ran to me. She gave me the biggest hug.
So we are all back home again and I am exhausted. What a strange night spent waiting. Have I mentioned that I love my kids?
kat
Went to one of my Dr visits today. I have a few lined up. Anyway, I lost weight even according to them Yippee! Nurse practioner asked if I was seeing anyone yet. Told her no but I was ready. Kind of rehashed my plans on all of that. She thought it sounded like I was right on track and that I had a healthy approach to it. That felt good to hear.
Next dr up is my dermatologist next week. Hoping that is an all clear visit.
kat
Just cut about 7 inches off of my hair. Not one of my kids has noticed yet. S19 isn't home yet, maybe he will.
Hey there! 7 inches! Wow! I was thinking about going an inch or two shorter and nervous to do that. I'm sure it looks wonderful!
Karen
I just get in the right frame of mind and a few hours later, my hair is cut. Lol. It was hot today and will be all week, breaking 100! So having it off my arms and back already feels cooler. Plus my hair is thick so there is extra weight.
Going to get to bed, I am still off kilter from picking d13 up from the airport late on Friday night. We need to catch up.
Miss you Karen. Hugs, kat
7 inches! WOW!!! That was only 3 inches short of being able to donate to locks of love.
Oh well....next time!
What time did she end up getting in Friday night after all the delays?
I can't donate because I color my hair, otherwise I would be right up there!
Her flight arrived at 1:50am. I got there right as they started to deplane. They must have had them all in the back as they got off last. So happy to have her home.
kat
Now I feel awful! I just looked at the guidlines and now they will take colored hair. I know I read before that they wouldn't. Well at least my hair grows fast!
kat
Maybe it was a different program that I looked at all together before. Will keep that in mind. Thanks Mish.
No, you were right Kat. They didn't used to take colored hair. Not sure when that changed.
Glad D13 had such a fun trip!
(((Kat)))
How funny that the whole world is counting down to my birthday this year! The Olympics couldn't have anything to do with it, could they? Nah!!
kat
LOL! That's right! I knew that date was familiar for another reason.
Had such a good night. We were on our last firework and right after it ended, we saw three grass fires! Well it isn't officially a party until something goes awry right? Kids had fun putting out the fires while my parents were naturally a bit more aprehensive. Dad had watered everything down before they had started but I guess with this heat, the water just evaporated.
After I got back home, found that we had left our biggest firework at home. Well it should still be good next year. Happy Belated Birthday America!
kat
You are so special they picked your bday! How awesome is that? LOL
Sounds like a fun 4th of July. Nothing like a little excitement lol.
Whoa! Lots of excitement! The big firework will be perfect for New Years. We didn't do any this year. With the holiday falling in the middle of the week, we just weren't in the mood.
Glad you had fun!
So is everyone really related to the Queen of England? So what if we are cousins, it should have warranted an invite to all the festivities.
So thinking of what I want for my future: family time without any guilt involved, freedom ie no boss, enough money, creative outlets and adventures. Got a book to help me get on track to possibly self publishing. Have about 3 ideas that are about 50% fleshed out.
kat
Great! Care to share what you are cooking up?
I am working out the stories of 3 books right now. Need to write the notes and synopsis down for all of them and then focus on just one. Then I think I will go through Amazon and self publish just to get it out there. Then I can start on the others.
Can't say I will make a lot but I feel as if I just have to write these stories. Maybe it will lead to me getting more ideas what to do to make more moolah before the time is up. I think writing down what is important to me will help me stay focused. I have never fit in the normal mold...staying in one job for years though I have stayed in Customer related jobs for 32 years.
Time for some of me to come out. I have always been uber responsible. Not that I won't continue to be but it is time to stp puttingt everything in front of what I want to do. I will keep my job for now and see where this goes. I can't be afraid forever.
kat
Hi, Kat! Glad to hear you are writing! Very cool. Have you thought about getting a job writing? I write a lot in my job now; not fiction, but still I find writing pretty much anything is enjoyable when you like writing...
Karen
Something unexpected happened at work today. My boss is on vacation and the home office called to see if I would take part in a focus group at the last minute since they had several cancellations. while I was phoned in, we started chatting. The gal that initially called me had said how interesting my name would be on a book. I thought that was funny to hear. Anyway, I mentioned that I was working on 3 ideas right now. They all really liked the true story that happened in England. That is the one that would be the easiest to start with since it is drawn on my own experience.
It was really good to get some unexpected feedback. They all asked me to let them know when it was doen and they would buy a copy! I am floating a little.
kat
That kicks booty!
Yesterday I get a call from my Dad. Not really surprising as the compressor for the AC on our half of the building is out and he has been checking on me daily. I have a fan.
Anyway he said he had spoke with my brother and he told Dad about D13 saying how s16 was hitting on her Sunday but I didn't do anything. How sad she was. Dad agreed with me that they were just being siblings. I did say that she tends to journal more on FB. Anyway Dad said that ex said she should call him and he will take care of it.(Whatever!)
So I wrote something in reply to her feelings. Then I read all the comments. She mentioned being a mess since the divorce, more emotional than she would like and how she still hates seeing her family torn apart. We have been divorced almost 4 years.
So I took a deep breath and replied to the divorce comment. I let her know how hard I tried to keep us together but that doesn't always work. As a family the needs of the many out weigh the needs of the one. I told her it was okay to be sad sometimes as I am sometimes too. I told her how hard I worked to get them to where they are now and that I knew we were going to be fine. I said I would always be there for her and that she could always talk to me about anything.
I had gone through a tough period with the boys when this all happened. They were teens then and had enough on their plate to deal with. D13 and D11 were younger and for the most part seemed to let it roll off their backs. Seems as if it is coming back to bite us all in the hiney again. I can get us through this.(fingers crossed).
kat
Yeah - it's the ones that seem to be "taking it ok" that you have to watch out for.
The thing is with her, we have been talking through this stuff. With her being a teen and all that entails, it is hitting her again very hard. This is the first time that she has expressed on a public forum. Her Dad would have seen it as well as he had already posted to her.
I don't suppose he will finally get it. It will fall on me. I can do this, I am just exhausted.
kat
Poor sweetie. She's been holding in emotions for so long and now it's bubbling out with her hormones.
You're doing all you can. Do you think she needs to talk to a counselor?
I think the best thing is that she has a lot of friends to talk to. Of course the best thing would be just for her Dad to recognize her pain. I doubt that will happen anytime soon.
As I said, we do talk a lot but when she gets frustrated with me, she will go to her friends and siblings. She is very close to S16 though he also loves to get her riled up. He is her second go to person.
If it seems to be a constant thing then I will look into some more help. Right now it seems to bubble up now and then. This is the first time though that she has said anything about the divorce where her Dad couls see it.
kat
They say time heals all wounds, but there's a lot of ups and downs before that is true. With you for her mom though, she'll come through it. (((Kat)))
Thanks Michelle, that made me tear up. It is so funny to think just this past winter we were cuddling up watching ghost stories and now, well, she is growing up. I have said before she is the child most like me so we do have a special connection. I hate to see her hurting but I know we will get through this. Just took me off guard to "see" it written. Several parents have said that girls are harder to raise.
I had never had real issues with either of the girls. Now with the hormones and changes, I may be holding my breath and crossing my fingers as a regular practice.
kat
Kat: The divorce effect really never goes away. It had a profound effect on Ashley who turned 13 just as her dad was leaving. My dad told me it was the worst possible time for it. Just as she needed a positive male figure in her life.
Ours was an idyllic mother/daughter relationship before her dad left - tumultuous and difficult after. But love prevails.
As with any teen daughter - stay involved. Know her friends. Support her good ideas - be firm with the rules. Love her unconditionally but let her make her own decisions about her dad. That was one thing I had a problem with but I learned.
I'm happy to say that my children have grown into wonderful, caring, responsible adults. They will forever be altered by the divorce but it has not ruined them. Bad stuff happens to good people all the time.
Too bad your ex won't figure out that your daughter's trauma is caused by his poor choices. But it's never them. It is much easier to bury your head in the sand than to accept responsibility for your actions.
Your daughter comes from a good home with a loving Mom and she will be more influenced by you and her older siblings than by friends (in the long run). Just love her and listen to her.
Barb
Your daughter comes from a good home with a loving Mom and she will be more influenced by you and her older siblings than by friends (in the long run). Just love her and listen to her.
Perfectly said Barb!
Kat, knowing what a fabulous mom you are, you will be the driving force behind her quietly cheering her on and letting her find her own way through this while gently guiding her.
Hugs to you my friend!
Thanks my dear friends I appreciate it. I had a message from one of our former posters last night and we wondered if there were books out there that might help on the subject. I had started looking and then got sidetracked by one of the kids.
D13 picked up the ipad to start drawing again and saw what I had been looking for. She said you were looking this up? I said yes, anything to help you guys. She gave me a big hug and she said I know you love me momma. It doesn't bother me all the time but deep down it is always there. Thanks for always trying to help. I guess that says it all, doesn't it?
kat
Brilliant. She's a sweetie.
H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y !
Thank you! What a lovely day! The weather was about 10 degrees cooler with a pleasant breeze. Went and saw "The Watch". It was funny but a lot geared toward guys. Had a slight adventure to get to On the Border and then taking a round about way to get my parents which took almost twice as long as normal. Had my favorite cake and ice cream.
My parents got me a hot air balloon ride/bungee jump ride! So two bucket list items will be crossed off. I guess they actually got me something else but it didn't arrive so I will get that on another occasion. Too cool.
Watching the London celebration. I am one beat chick!
Kat
Happy birthday to you!!!!!!Hope you're having a blast!
Thanks Karen! So the heat has still been getting me. Took even more hair off on Saturday. Not sure if I am liking it. Has to grow on me I guess(pardon the pun!)
Busy morning trying to catch up on all the work that was left by my fill in. I suppose she really was just here answering the phone because the stuff I had for her to do...didn't get done. Now I am more behind.
Well I shouldn't complain, I got my birthday off and that was what I wanted.
Back to work.
kat
What a crazy day! Enrolled the three younger ones. Ex was going to enroll the girls but had to be half way across the state by noon. Didn't think he could get it done, as I did early this morning. I had to take S16 right after and the lines were crazy! We caught a break or two but still about 1.5 hours with all the waiting.
I am so frustrated with the school enrollment process. I worked an extra hour to make up for enrollment and still was a bit late. When will they get it together and let us enroll entirely on line?
I am beat. Can't wait for my full 9 days off ( yes, including weekends)!
kat
So I went to have a consult with my new doc. My old one retired. I did let him know that I had a lot of stress and what has happened since I last went to the doctor. I haven't gone for quite some time. Anyway with first meeting me he thinks I might need anti depressants and counseling.
I was really shocked. Knowing how far I have come and how I feel day to day, I think he has it wrong. I guess he thinks I should be falling apart or something. I think I do need to learn how to meditate to help relieve some of the stress but I know my counselor said I was good. Why am I letting this bother me?
kat
Hi! Why did the doctor say that? Did he have a reason? I do think that sometimes depression and stress can creep up on you slowly, just my experience with it. It happened so slowly with me I was smack dab in the middle of it before I realized it. I think he could be right, but if you met him for 5 minutes or whatever, he could be wrong too. What do you think??? I've thought about going to counseling too myself sometimes lately; I still have residual anger towards the OW sometimes...
I think he is wrong. How can he know that after yeah, a whole 5 minutes! Just because I will need to make some changes soon in my life, I don't think that makes me depressed. I guess it bothers him that I am pretty private. I mentioned this site casually and he said he didn't see how a site like this could do any good for me. I think he just had experience with something like this so he doesn't get it.
I am a tad bummed that my 16 year old didn't take time off for us to do much of anything while I am off. Now though his Dad invited him to come along this weekend to St Louis and he arranged that. Maybe I will just spend the time off for me and not worry about what I was planning except for my baby's birthday on Thursday. It does bother me that ex knew I took the time off but kept trying to meet up with the kids to do stuff.
kat
Don't worry, Kat. My guess is that we all need AD's lol! Don't you love it, now you don't even have to ask for AD's, they just offer them to you like lines of credit at the bank. Say thanks but no thanks. If and when you think you need them, ask otherwise just keep doing what you're doing. Who the heck isn't under stress!
Btw, there are people in this world called drug salesman and they visit doctors...just sayin'
I am just thinking with all the hours I spent talking to my therapist, she certainly had a better idea of how I was coping. She certainly saw the value if this site and how much it helped to talk to people in similar positions.
Well he did say to tell him if I thought I needed anything. He also said he could be wrong but that he hadn't been often. Whatever!
kat
Stick to what you think, you're you and he/she isn't (deep thought,eh lol)!
Very deep wii! Thanks. I am surprised you didn't offer our stand by...ice cream. Lol
kat
AD ice cream! What will they think of next?
Had a Groupon to a wildlife park 2.5 hours away. Took the 3 youngest since I didnt have a day to take all of them before it expired. We got to feed the lemurs, the giraffes and pet kangaroos. It is a privately owned wildlife park. The kids and I had a blast. Tomorrow is d11's birthday and another full day is planned.
Mom is beat! kat
Sounds like a great day Kat. Enjoy tomorrow too.
Time to change the ages again! Happy Birthday Elena! Time just flies when you are having fun.
. Big 12!!
12.....sigh....they do grow up WAY too fast.
So what did you do for you?
Also....that Dr. doesn't know you and has no idea what a trooper you are! Your life seems overwhelming to me too but you have 4 kids and I only have 1. Sometimes my 1 feels like 4! HA!
We went to KC and went to the indoor game place that we have done the last couple of years. It has arcade games, indoor go karts, laser tag a few rides...basically a blast. then off to the Waffle House. The kids were so tired Friday, they didn't even want to go to a movie!
S16 went to see Hope Sprigs on Friday night. Very funny! Saturday got some more errands done and watch some Olmpics. Don't know if I mentioned getting S16 his driving permit, but he got it this past week. He isn't really in any hurry to drive but I would love to not have to take him to school every day and to work especially when he gets off late. He just doesn't want to have to spend money for insurance and gas...smart kid. lol
As I said about the Doc, he didn't see how this site could help me. My counselor saw an immediate change in me once I found it and made my first group of friends. So just because it says MD after your name, it doesn't mean that you know everything.
kat
Gineen,
You'll LOVE the movie.
I went to my first "by myself" movie a couple of years ago. Once you get past sitting down - nobody cares. It wasn't bad at all.
Barb
I just made sure I went in as the preview were playing. That way I didn't focus on couples. With the boys working at the theater, they can get me in free so I rarely go alone and the boys don't seem to mind having me along.
I might get to 3 this week but that is kind of ambitious since school starts on Thursday. Summer is about over here.
Kat
School starts early there. Our kids don't go back for 3 more weeks. I guess yours got out in early June while we went to nearly the end of June.
Still lots of warm weather and fun here.
Barb
Actually we get out in mid-May. We used to start right after Labor day and get done the end of May. Now that all the schools have ac, we start earlier.
It is still warm but today was fantastic at just 82 degrees. We get hot again on Wednesday and our ac still isn't working at work. It's been about a month now. They said they are replacing it on Thursday so no ac all day. Lucky me.
. NOT!
kat
OMG! No AC at work and it's been crazy hot there! I would have walked out and told them to call me when it was fixed. I can't work in conditions like that.
Yeah, Marc started school yesterday....he was thrilled...NOT!
We get out the Friday of Memorial Day weekend.
The company I work for doesn't own the building, just renting space. So all we can really do is gripe...which we do! Tomorrow will hit 100 but Thursday should be nice again. Would be great if bossman would say it is to hot to be here but I don't see that happening.
kat
Um, 100 degrees and no air. If the boss doesn't just allow you the day off, I would take a sick day. That's ridiculous!!!
Karen
Time for you guys to take turns and pee in his office. That will catch his attention. Make sure the boss ain't around tho.
ROFLMAO!! If I hadn't just taken a week off... I did have 2 weeks at work alone with just a fan during the 100 degree weather. I so can't wait for it to get replaced.
I guess my boss didn't think it was a big deal. I didn't worry about him last week, figured it was payback.
.
Kat
Please pray for my refrigerator...it might be on it's last leg. Just bought another heating element but that may not be the issue. It has been for the past eight years. I think I am on number 6!
On a happier note, Sunday is the day for the bungee jump/ balloon ride. I am excited and a tad nervous at the same time.
kat
I know I have a harness,so I am guessing it is not from my feet. Lol. I have done parasailing too, thought it was incredibly peaceful. Zip lining is on the list...the nearest one is about 4 hours away so I would rather try it when I would be on vacation and not have to rush to get there and back.
This is my birthday present from my parents. Something out of the ordinary for sure.
kat
I decided to not throw more money into the dying/dead fridge. I took the kids with me so I could have an idea as to when I could get the fridge delivered. I am thrilled to be getting a new one. Crazy, huh?
kat
Nothing crazy about feeling good when leaving behind a drain of your resources. I have lived out of ice chests, not fun.
I am just glad I didn't buy groceries and then have the fridge die. As it was I threw out alot! Fridge will be here Monday. So just 2 days of craziness. However I will get my ice dispenser back! Yippee!
kat
Congrats on the new fridge. When I got a new one about 6 years ago it was a super happy day for me! I had never had one with an ice and water dispenser. That was huge for me!!!!
Let us know how today goes for you! I'm so excited to hear about it!
So I got up at 4:30 took care of my dog and cats then I got s16 up. I succeeded after 3 tries. My parents came and picked us up. It was maybe a 40 minute drive away. It was still dark. I kept thinking, how is anyone going to see anything.
I ended up being the 5th person to get to go up. The guys didn't seem to yell but the girls did. I wasn't thinking if I was going to yell or not but just how it was going to feel. When I was able to sit on the edge of the gondola. The pilot of the balloon said okay, bye. He gave a light push. It felt as if I was falling slowing to the ground. It was all quite peaceful. I was amazed about all I could see. Would I stop suddenly and then fall again? Or would it just be a slight pull? I recall just a slight pull back and then falling just a bit again. Then I was still and coming down.
My stomach didn't fall, it wasnt an adrenaline rush, it was just peaceful. Maybe i think too much for other people, but it is who I am. The short balloon ride up was pretty cool too. It was beautiful. I am glad I got to do it.
kat
Found out when I was done I could go to the end and go again for $25.00. tempting but at the same time, I wanted to embrace this unusual adventure just as it was. Maybe there will be a next time.
kat
I got my fridge! Smaller than I wanted but it works, makes ice, dispenses water, keeps stuff cold...what more could I want?!!
I am a happy girl! Now I get to start looking for our friend that sky dives. Can't sit on my laurels or life will start to become ordinary again!
kat
Congratulation sometimes it is the mundane things that give us joy.
In my case jumping out of a perfectly good airplane flying straight and level needs to be postponed for next year, but I can recommend a good place in Ohio.
Lol! Bungee jumping was not how I thought it would be but I was pleasantly surprised. It was really peaceful. I imagine jumping out of a plane would be similar.
I get excited even getting a vacuum cleaner! Gee, could there be something wrong with me?
kat
Oh and by the way, the road less traveled is difficult but so worth it! I used that as the title of several of my threads.
Just love Robert Frost.
I also just posted my first blog: insearchofanextraordinarylife@worldpress.com.
Darn edit button should be at wordpress.com
Ok the blog thing is a bit more complicated to get to I guess. It is not so easy for me anyway to copy and paste on my ipad but I will get on my home computer and address that.
Hope you all are having a fantastic day!
kat
Second blog post is done. Can't remember exactly what I titled it. I am still so new at getting around, I don't know if you can go to the first one and get to the second one or not.
kat
Thankfully I subscribed or I'd probably never find it.
I'm super bad at keeping up with blogs.
I am following the advice of a writer who said to just blog once a week and after about three months see if you like it and want to keep up.
I love that we got about 3" of rain this weekend. We have been so dry here. I am actually hoping for lots of snow this winter. Did I mention my daughter from Slovakia is coming for 3 weeks over Christmas?(She was our exchange student 7 years ago. Even now, she says I am the only one of her 4 parents that asks how she is, how life is and/or if there are any new love interests.
Love this kid!)
I checked out the cost of skydiving. It will be a bit over $200.00 so I may have to wait until the Spring. Either way it is getting done.
kat
http://insearchofanextraordinarylife.wordpress.com/2012/08/27/doing-things-a…it-differently/
This is #2
Amazing on the hot air balloon experience. Sounds like you have the adrenaline bug now! Fantastic! I cannot do heights, I am happier in water, and have great admiration for people that can. Also I checked out your blog, it was so great and I really enjoyed reading it.
I don't like heights either but I really want to do the Hot Air Balloon. Maybe if Josh and I get to Sedona we can do it there.
I could not jump out of a plane - that's for sure. Ex did it once. Hmm... wishing his parachute did not... oh never mind - I should not have thought it. LOL
I did Parasailing more than once. One time alone and once tandem with my daughter, Ashley. It was one of the most awesome experiences. I think I really felt safe because it was at Disney (and no way they want to get sued - LOL). I would never do it in "the islands". They just don't seem to have the same set of safety measures.
Barb
I just did paddle boarding. It is where you stand on a slightly bigger than normal surf board and balance and paddle. I *loved* it and didn't fall in until an out of control 11 year old came careering towards me and caught the string that connected me to the board, flipped me up in the air and I came crashing into the water. My sister said she heard the screams from the other side of the lake. I came out covered in swan poop.
Probably one of the best things I have ever done!
Lol! Oh Julia, you make me smile!
. I did parasailing while on my Disney cruise (the fall before he started the affair). We did it in tandem and ex hates heights but enjoyed the parasailing.
It seems like a pattern going here...these things which should be giving me a rush of some sort, give me peace. It is quiet and beautiful. I just take it all in. No screaming at all.
kat
I can watch paddle boarding out the window. This week I saw a guy paddleboarding with his dog on the board! Cool! I just don't have that kind of balance!
Barb
Wow!!! Barb I would love that. This is why I need to move to a place near water. I used to see people paddle boarding in Wellington harbour on my way to work.
Parasailing, again it's the height (my stomach doing flips) thing again.
I seem to be quite a lot about the screaming. I do it a lot involuntarily. A guy tried to take me for a romantic jet ski once, I screamed all the way (totally loved it) but the guy came away with a sore ear and headache, so no romantic dinner for me
/
It reassured me when you said you expected your stomach to do flips Kat and it didn't. Also that you achieve serenity! I will strive to this next time...
J:
You need to come here. I own a Jet Ski. I'm on my 3rd. Have been Seadooing for 19 years! Used to be known as "The Terror of 3 Mile Lake" - LOL!
It is fun. But mostly now I go in the boat since Josh will drive. I'm wondering why I even bought a new Seadoo. Must get out on it this evening. That's my fav time. During the week it is quiter - less crazy boaters out there. I peacefully motor along and check out what's going on with ducks and geese and cottage repairs etc.
Barb
Barb - My idea of heaven!!
Let's all invite ourselves to Barb's!! Lol
Consider yourselves invited. We can have a big DB party here. Just like in the old days when 40 plus of us went to Tampa every August for a get together. FUN!
Barb
OMG! I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to see your place in person Barb. The pictures make me sigh with the beauty in them.
I can just picture Julia coming out of that lake covered in swan poop and smiling from ear to ear!
We will have to plan it. National Geographic named it the most beautiful place to spend your summer. I thi k it's even more. Beautiful in wi Ted. It sorry - no swan poop. ! We do have ducks & loons
That makes me think of Katherine Hepburn in "On Golden Pond" telling everyone to look at the loons! If Julia is coming we could maybe arrange some Swans to be there just for her.
If you know me on the alt, you will get my pun. lol
It would be cool. Sorry if I sounding pushy with the invite Barb!
kat
Canada is on my list of places to go!!
That's so funny Kat...in more ways than one. Yep, you could sure arrange some Swans for her. LOL
Also, the first time I saw a pic of Barb's lake all I could think of was On Golden Pond!
Watch Groupon and Deal Chicken and Sweet Jack for skydives. Our's here has them about twice a year.
Never heard of Deal Chicken or Sweet Kack. I will check those out. thanks
kat
I don't know if those are in every area like Groupon is but it's worth a try.
I checked out Sweet Jack which is at least in KC. Chicken Deal stuff is in Southern Missouri, not sure I have enough interest to go there again but I will keep an eye on it. did you get my message that I sent via the alt?
kat
Yup. Got it! Thanks! I'll look at it ASAP
My boss was nice enough to give me his last set of tickets to the Royals game yesterday. Only my 12 year old went with me, my oldest bailed due to homework. Granted he had ALOT!
Anyhow, I haven't been to a game in years...since ex and I were together. We got to see batting practice. On the field. It smelled soo good. I only had heard of one player, so I wasn't excited to see anyone. I miss the days when we were always in the race. When baseball players stayed with one team and they were heroes. Now it seems as if we are a farm club for everyone else.
I hate that baseball is such a slow game. There isn't any need to do all that stuff between every half inning. Believe me it didn't help me enjoy the game. But yeah, we won! I took another step outside of my comfort zone.
kat
Good job! I like going to baseball games but not watching on tv. I work with a bunch of die hard Braves fans. It's always painful watching them get to the penant race or even the NL series and get knocked out.
It's funny you mention the smell. Isn't it funny what memories the smell of the grass, the hot dogs and the peanuts brings back?
Hope you had a nice holiday weekend! It was my first weekend in like 2 months without the kids, so really enjoyed it.
I do not know how you do it!!!
Karen
Sometimes I don't either! S19 has started to have his friends over every Friday so now even less peace. He doesn't have a lot of time off working from his 3 jobs and full time school schedule.
I am pushing myself more to go out and doing things outside of my comfort zone. Also putting some time in with s16 to practice driving. The boys birthdays are in a couple of weeks so trying to figure that out as well. How on earth is my baby turning 20?
kat
20? Already??? Dang! Time does fly doesn't it.
Yes, the time has flown by. S16 will turn 17 just 3 days later. They amaze me with all that they are doing. I remember saying oh, I wouldn't work such and such. Then I found an old calendar from when I was 19. Man I worked some really strange hours and somehow, thought nothing of it.
Growing up certainly seems to make you more rigid.
kat
LOL! Growing up makes you less inclined to torture yourself is more like it!
What are your kids' birthdays? My BABY turns 24 a week from today (Sept 12). I'm going to Niagara this w/e to spend it with her, my son, Josh and my dad. I'm VERY excited! Ashley was hard to live with but sometimes she's harder to live without. I miss my kids!
Barb
S19's birthday is September 18 and his brother s16 has his on September 21. D13 has hers on November 15th and my baby just turned 12 on August 9.
July-September is always a bit chaotic as I am a person big on birthdays. Now with both boys working it is going to be hard to find enough time to really celebrate, but I will find a way. Have to listen to what they want to do as the day is theirs but will try to carve sometime out of the weekend to have a family celebration.
Their Dad was nice in that he told them that they could have a party down in Lawrence over the weekend after their birthdays. I guess though he really isn't thinking about S16 and most of his friends not being able to drive yet and S19's friends are all working wacky schedules. Plus it is hard asking off for too much time so close together.
We shall see.
kat
Wow, they grow up so fast. Just seeing you post about all the birthdays and thinking about how much they've grown since I've "known" you is just crazy!
Posted my Dad's video of my balloon bungie jump on the alt. If you guys get a chance do it!
kat
Yeah easy for u to say. You survived.
That is my next goal...skydiving. Just have to save some money. Birthdays have been killing me so we are looking at the Spring at the earliest.
Oh and remember the guy gave me a slight nudge as he said " ok. Bye bye!". Lol. Life is too short to not live it.
kat
That is my next goal...skydiving. Just have to save some money. Birthdays have been killing me so we are looking at the Spring at the earliest.
Oh and remember the guy gave me a slight nudge as he said " ok. Bye bye!". Lol. Life is too short to not live it.
kat
Issues! Sorry for the double post.
Just venting: Working is driving me nuts! I am so ready to do something else. Something that matters!
Vent over. Back to the regular old stuff.
kat
Not that I have changed my mind much about my former vent but my boss noticed that I was upset and made the effort to touch on it with me. Having his wife work with us is not always easy. I like her but I feel left out frequently and it is partly due to them discussing things and making decisions without me. I will do things that he asked but then it doesn't seem to be enough for her. Who is my boss now?
The money issue might be enough soon for me to move on anyway but man, I really want to avoid jumping out of the pan into the fire if I can help it.
kat
Any better at work? Can you talk to your boss about having 'two bosses' that seem to have different ideas of what is expected?
Boss's wife and I went 2 hours away to meet with someone else who does our job. Got lots of ideas but yep, I still get the her taking charge feeling. She jumped in several times saying I had it wrong. Whatever!!
If I am going to be away from my kids I want to be doing something I enjoy that is worth while. I need to figure it out soon or I am going to blow.
Had so many things go wrong Friday and Saturday, I need to get back on track. I shouldn't be dreading Mondays as much as I do.
kat
Ew! That is definitely not a good feeling. If going to work makes your stomach churn, it's definitely time for a change!
Hi Kat,
Yes - Gineen is right on - best to keep the bird in the hand but keep your eyes and ears open to other opportunities.
My son was hating his job in the past 2 years. Always telling me about it. I told him to keep his ears open. He found a new job in May and BAM - what a change in his happiness level.
You do spend a lot of time there - Sounds like you're already gone...
Barb
The money issue is pretty much the nail in the coffin. I will be losing another 1200 a month in about 20 months. I am working hard teaching my s16 how to drive which will help free up some time when he can take himself to school snd work.
If need be it will also give me time for a second job if need be. I would prefer to only work one job but I would need to about double what I currently make due to the taxes. I have a degree in psychology. I do love helping people and I find myself cheering people on. I may go to my alma mater and get some ides for a better use of my degree.
Any suggestions are welcome. kat
I am trying to not have to go back to school. I'll be checking!
You have a phych degree but would have to go back to school to get a degree in social work, right?
Yep. I did see a posting for a job being basically the office manager at a doctor's office. It is actually a clinic type thing(this is where I had my out patient surgery for my skin cancer) and they have 3 locations in 3 cities. If I applied and got the job I would be doing payroll, working with vendors to order supplies, have to deal with firing people possibly(ick) but other stuff like what I do now. Running the office on the back end.
I'm thinking about it. I would guess it would pay more but if not I can't do it. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to apply right?
kat
Just a side note: Christopher turned 20 yesterday. I absolutely hated only seeing him maybe 30 minutes all day as he went out with his Dad and his grandparents and siblings. That is the absolute worst part of divorce...sharing the kids over special occasions and holidays. I get to do a repeat of that on Friday when Ryan turns 17. His dad wants him and I am not saying a word. I want him to do whatever and not get any grief one way or the other.
When did they grow up??
kat
OMG! Christopher is 20???? How did that happen???????? Gees!
I can't imagine being without Marc on his birthday but, like you said, it's the worst part of divorce being without your kids on the anniversary of the date you gave them life.
Good mom! Keeping quiet and making sure it is all about their day.
HUGS!
What do you guys think about the job(well that I can apply for)?
kat
You have nothing to lose by applying... I say go for it!
I think it's worth a try! Would you have to travel around to the different offices?
Yes. The nearest one is half an hour away and the 3rd one is an hour away. Like I said I would think it would pay more which is what I need to work towards.
Definitely apply! Doesn't hurt to do that!
Happy Birthday to my Ryan! 17 today!! You are my partner in home repair adventures and I have to say that has been one crazy ride. Lol. I am incredibly blessed to have you. I love you!
Quick note: when he reads it here, it isn't like being embarrassed on FB!
kat
Happy Birthday to your son, Ryan! What a great name! My firstborn is also Ryan.
He actually reads DB??? Ooh - I wouldn't want my kids to read it.
Barb
No, I just show that post! Lol. His brother hates getting embarrassed by me so I started posting some stuff where I let the kids read on their birthday. Ryan doesn't seem to be as bothered when i get all sentimental...but it is tradition!
kat
My kids don't like it when I post things on FB either. My daughter used to "unfriend" me all the time. Now she doesn't care but my son freaked last Christmas when she put up the family photo of us all in our pjs. I just laughed!
Barb
Happy birthday to Ryan!!!!! 17.....it's just too darned close to 18 isn't it?
Yes it is! Where did the time go? Just yesterday we called him cryin' Ryan! He has grown into a wonderful kid though he does cause me some grief now and then.
kat
I got home a little bit ago to find out our oldest pet had died. Okay ferrets don't live that long though of course Christopher was going on and on about how he should have lived 10 years. He lived a little over 5 years.
We had ferrets when I was growing up and I don't think either of ours made it that long. Anyway, the kids started playing the blame game. I got home after this had pretty much passed. All Megan could say was that I should have taken him to the vet. He had been losing some hair just like one of ours did from when I was a kid. He seemed to be fairly normal otherwise.
Of course now, I get to hear all the things that must have been wrong. Christopher, now that he is 20, naturally knows everything. I should have spent a couple of hundred dollars to save him.
Is it okay if I just cry now?
kat
I am SO sorry to hear this. I posted to you earlier on my phone but it is not here.
It is never easy to lose your pet. But you can't be expected to know all the signs. Sounds like he lived a really good life.
I hope tommorrow is a better day.
Hugs,
Barb
I sounded a bit harsh. I certainly didn't mean to. There is so much pressure when you are the only parent. Lord knows I am juggling several balls at a time. It hurts when I drop a ball.
Just need to regroup and handle it better from here. Thanks Barb. Hugs are always appreciated.
kat
I'm so sorry! That just stinks.
Pets die, some before what we think was their time. You aren't a vet and losing some hair is not necessarily a sign of imminent death. It can just mean they are losing hair!!!
I understand that you feel responsible in some ways but you know you have to let it go. The kids will get over it and life will go on (where have we heard that before?) but you will all have the fun memories of your sweet feret.
How is everything else going?
Not too bad. I really stop and thought about applying for the other job. Isn't basically doing what I am doing now? Perhaps a bit more more but I would be setting myself up for that same in a rut feeling because I wouldn't be doing what I want to.
I took a quiz last week which tries to help you figure out what you need to be doing. It asked who in history you admired. I have 3 women that have been with me since I was a kid. they are Anne Frank because even in the worst of times she could see the good in people, Helen Keller because despite being blind and deaf, she graduated college, learned how to speak and was a motivational speaker and third, Amelia Earhart. She was more than ready to break down the boundaries set up against being a woman and broke several records in the process.
So, once I get past this last bit of drama, I have something to think about.
kat
WOW! Sounds good! Those are some incredible women to look up to. They overwhelm me!
This weekend something kind of funny happened. My ex had the 3 younger kids overnight Saturday and brought them home early yesterday because S17 had to work. While he was waiting for S17 to get changed, I had been dusting. I looked at him and asked that since he was tall, could he get the fan for me? He didn't bat an eye and just did it!
If we weren't divorced you would think we were still married as often as he helps me when I ask!
Just too funny.
kat
LOL! That is pretty funny. I do have to say, having no hostility in your D is much easier on everyone!
So I have oreder a Thredup bag to ship off my daughters' still in good condition clothes in. If I make a few dollars in the process so be it. Also starting to go through books I have, especially ex's that I don't want. Hoping to sell those on Amazon.
Have found a few things that might go on Craigs list as well. Hopefully this endevor will create some x-mas cash as well as get rid of some clutter. I also need to start going through some of my clothes I have hung onto for whatever reason and donate those as well.
No one else is going to change me but me.
kat
*Ordered* Dear mods, We aregrown ups, can you please let us edit our posts again so our typying in a hurry won't make us look as if we can't spell?
Thred up used to let you swap kids clothes and you just paid shipping. Now you order a bag from them and they buy the clothes from you and resell them. I have given away so many of the girls clothes but am up to the next age to get rid of. My mom gets alot of their clothes from this gal that is slightly obsessed with her kids clothes. So most of them are name brand.
i am so lucky my mom gets them for me and the gal sells them to her fairly cheap. This way she hasn't had to mess with having garage sales either.
kat
Kat, you may have inspired me. I always just give my stuff away but perhaps I shall try selling.
I loved the bit you wrote about change!
I just finished watching a movie that had infidelity as one of the main themes. It started a discussion here. My s17 said he forgave his Dad because ...well why not. He said his Dad is a friend not a Dad. I asked if that bothered him. He said not really because he has me.
Yes, I teared up.
Kat
Awww....what a sweet boy!
Darn!! I think my furnace is really dead this time. 17 years I guess isn't bad. Time to do some checking around. Boo Hoo
kat
Might not be. Josh was certain when ours wouldn't start last week that we were in for trouble but turned out to be minor. Service call - yes, but much cheaper than what it might have been.
Hope it works that way for you too.
Barb
Crossing my fingers! One more season would be very helpful. What did yours turn out to be?
I think it was a relay. But I'm blonde - remember.
Barb
Lol! But my my name means blonde in Greek! Ha, ha
kat
The first guy came and looked at it today. He said we were lucky that the one we had has been running as long as it has. He did advice us to get a newq one and will be emailing me a proposal. I have another guy coming this afternoon to give me his opinion. If it is just something electrical, ok but it may be time to replace the old girl. I will know more tonight. At least it hasn't been terribly cold.
It is also supposed to be nicer this weekend. Kids are out of school Thursday and Friday so if I had to get something done, hopefully it could be done then. I may have to cash out my annuity though to pay for it. Well at least I have it if I need it.
kat
kat
Well, you definitely got your time and money out of it. I hope it can make it another year, but if not, I guess that's life lol.
So the guy from this morning calls me at work and gets an attitude that I don't know what I am talking about. He says the thermostat is the whole problem. Then proceeds to say what needs to be looked at on the furnace. This morning the issue might have been the board in the furnace.
I just reiterated that the furnace/ac and thermostat hasd all been fine and then when S20 went to turn it on the error message we got and what happened from there. We probably did break at least one of the terminals on the nest thermostat because the wire had broke off in it and we were trying to get it out. I do still have my former thermostat so we are going to try to put that back up and see if that really is the problem.
What a day. ;(
kat
Oh, and is it mean of me to say I hope it isn't the thermostat? This little change has dropped my level pay bill steadily each month. My other thermostat wasn't doing that. Hopefully the last of my venting.
Uhhh! It was my thermostat. I broke one of the terminals on the nest. Still trying to see if I can replace just that part. Have the old thermostat up now and the heat is on. Ok, at least it was the cheaper fix.
Kat
Thank goodness! How much would a new thermostat be?
I contacted Nest about getting a replacement base. Sounds as long as they get a pic with the broken terminals they will replace it. It is so funny that everyone keeps saying that there are plenty of programmable thermostats out there...yes, I had one. Had all the settings programmed. Never did my bills go down like they were with my nest.
Kind of like the difference between a smart phone and a basic cell phone.
Kat
I've never heard of a 'nest'. Is that a brand?
It is a thermostat that learns. It was created by the guys that created the iPod. I am on level pay for my gas and electric. My level pay on my electric has been going down steadily since I installed it.
I know!! Love it! So you can see why I was upset that the issue went back to the thermostat. However I say that with just a bit of caution, I already broke a terminal so no one can tell me what caused the issue before I decided to mess with it.
This past weekend my ex had the girls. They came home with new clothes. I asked if they had gone shopping. D13 said they had as they didn't have any jeans that really fit(they are in between sizes now and really hard to fit them in jeans). I felt bad because it seemed as if I let something slip through the cracks.
My daughter though looked at me and said, "You know Mom it isn't a contest. He can buy us clothes too and it is fine." So glad that one of us is thinking straight!
kat
LOL. Out of the mouths of babes.
Just a quick vent. This may all be in my head but I don't think my boss and his wife, who now works here part time, like the way I am. It is always one more thing or something else to change.
I am slow to change. I kind of get my feet wet and then I wade in. They want me to dive in and honestly it makes me uncomfortable.
So now after two days my desk looks how they want it with basically nothing there. Maybe I will find peace in that at some point but right now I just feel the hurt of things never being good enough...me, not being good enough for them.
kat
Why is that state of your desk related to "how you are"? I have worked many places that have a clean desk policy, usually because they don't want sensitive documents left unlocked. Is this about family photos or some such?
No, just that I had it neat. No sensitive docs left out. It was take this and this and this off. Clean out the drawers I told you where you could have your things. Ok not said exactly like that but he gave me this set of rolling drawers to put my things in.
I wear sweaters and slacks quite often . My boss was always fine with what I wore. His wife started making hurtful comments about my sweaters. Yet here she was wearing a jean jacket vest over a peasant blouse. I don't get it.
They like to joke about Romney's 47% comment. I don't appreciate their comments but keep my mouth shut as at work I cant have any political opinions. I constantly hear slams that go against my beliefs. It is getting harder to not say anything.
I wonder if my opinions aren't getting stronger as I can't talk about them. I am tired.
kat
Hmm, the clean out the drawers thing is a bit odd to me.
Sweaters and slacks definitely seems like appropriate office wear. Who cares what she thinks is stylish. Although it does sound like a boundary needs to be set by going to your boss or directly to her if the comments continue - as long as the wear is work appropriate comments and critiques are not appropriate.
I don't know about you, but what has been getting to me this election cycle is not the political discourse (which is almost non existent), it's the fact that everything by every party is slams and put downs. Negative ads, negative comments, negative everything. No one seems to be able to just discuss the issues without making snide remarks, tasteless jokes, and generally being nasty.
I'm stumped as to what you can do about all of this kat. It seems to me like it's time to have a sit down with your boss and discuss expectations and boundaries.
I just think it is really time for me to leave soon. They do have some obligations to other offices through December. I also have my AFS daughter from Slovakia coming in December.
I have been looking at some options. I keep getting pulled back to the hospital which is within a mile of my house. They have several options making about what I make now. They will do tuition reimbursement to improve to a better job there. So potential! Movement! Might be just what I am looking for.
kat
Ooooh! That sounds like a good idea kat!!
Hiya! I think that is a great idea! I've thought for a long time you don't seem happy at your job, not just a temporary thing. I think having a place to promote or move around is great, and I also think you should try to find a job that maybe has more writing involved--isn't that what you really enjoy doing?
Yes Karen that is it. I need to keep being able to move around and grow. There are a couple registrar jobs as well as being in billing. With a bit more training I could go into radiology or coding and make more money which I need. The writing is going to come with more work. I have been summarizing for so long...I need to relearn how to spin a tale.
I am currently in a job I will say is an office manager in an investment company. I have learned quite a bit and have been investing so I know not to stop regardless where I end up. This was a place I needed to go during the divorce. Now I need to get back with more people.
How have you been Karen? I see you updated your info. Miss ya!
kat
Hiya! I miss you too! Things are good for me. My life is for the most part peaceful & boring--just like I like it
I've just updated my resume & been starting to job hunt also. Daniel graduates in June, and starts community college, so I'm going to try to find a job that pays hopefully a little bit more....
Karen
Just to give you a teen's perspective: yesterday s17 and I were talking while he drove to work(yes my hair turns grey just getting in the car to teach him!). At one point I said do you think it is strange that Daddy and I get along just as if we were still married? He said actual it is nice. Means less stress he said. Hmmmm.
Love my kids, kat
It's nice that they recognize how to handle a situation that could be volatile. You have modeled adult behavior for them and they will take it with them wherever they go.
You are such a great mom and person!
You guys make me blush! So I finally got a bag ready for Thredup(where you can sell your kids gently used clothes.). I have to say I surprised myself as I barely made a dent in all the clothes I had for the girls! I have given bags away and still have alot.
My Mom had just kept bring bags over that she bought from my Dad's former co-worker/friend. His wife has a thing for clothes and always dressed their girls in really nice clothes. I have quite a few I can pitch now too as I find holes here and there and of course pants that are totally worn out in 2 or 3 places.
Even though I have just really started this project, I am excited about it. I am finally letting go.
kat
I have a question...why do I keep having dreams about my ex? These aren't dreams about us getting back together but me letting out my anger, frustration I think. They almost always are with us still married but of course the affair is right smack dab in the middle of it.
I am just letting off pent up frustrations? Please don't say I am still hung up on him. lol
kat
No, mine crops up in my dreams sometimes too. Usually I wake up and have been grinding my teeth too when he is in my dreams. I think he is my stress signifier
(((Kat)))
I hate to tell you this but I still have dreams about my ex. Sometimes I am angry and let him have it. Sometimes maggot is in the dream. Sometimes we are very much together and it is loving and sexual.
The thing is - when you've been with someone that long - it's hard to forget. In reality - you can let go - but you can't control your subconscious.
I dream about people/things that I have had issues with. Maybe because things are unresolved. I will be that is what is going on in your case too. Because we never had any control over the things that were happening to us.
Strangely - last night I dreamed quite clearly about my Grandma. She passed away 9 years ago. And I often dream of my mother who died 7 years ago. It's hard to wake up from the dreams with my mom. Because I still want her to be here.
I think your dreams are normal and are helping you work through things.
Barb
Kat, I am SO glad you brought that up! I've been having them too, like 5-6 a month. One of my friends was suggesting I should see a therapist. I guess if you've lived with someone for 20+ years and had children, it would make sense they would be in your dreams sometimes....I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one!!!
Karen
It's absolutely your subconscious mind just letting out the frustrations that you worked so hard to subdue in your conscious state during the crisis.
You girls make me feel lucky I don't normally remember my dreams! I'm sure XH would be in them.
Yeah, I almost never remember my dreams either, luckily. Still, the few ones I do remember seldom involve the ex - except for one recently, where he showed up at my house with a society blonde - and I kept wondering where his Asian fiancee was.
I remember a lot of mine. Does that make me unlucky? lol Actually I get some good writing ideas from my dreams but it sort of gets me that I dream about ex. I mean I would like someone in my life but I am doing alright without. Perhaps it is because he made it seem so easy to toss me aside?
Anyway, I have the kids the majority of the time and hopefully am doing a good job raising them on my own. At least I don't have someone to argue over what choices I make in that area. I get the kids for Thanksgiving this year. Ex just told me Monday night via e-mail that he has decided with his new job he is too tired to do Thanksgiving and his Mom has too much on her plate to pull it together on such short notice(they were supposed to get together on Saturday). Oh well, his loss is certainly my gain. I wonder if he knows how exhausted I have been and yet continue all these special traditions.
kat
When I got home I found an interesting card. My boss had mailed me a thank you card telling me how much he appreciated me! Go figure. This week, I will get my appraisal and raise. Maybe he thinks I am doing better than I do?
We shall see.
Oh, forgot to mention that this weekend, d13 and I were watching this show where a counselor was helping a family voice their issues with their blended family. D13 looked at me and said we need that with Dad. I asked her if she didn't feel that she could talk to him. She said she could but he never really hears her. I said that maybe she should write him a letter. Again she didn't think that would work.
She went on FB and wrote a short letter basically to her Dad. She said she didn't understand how her dad could leave her to raise someone else's kids. She mentioned plastering a smile on her face so her true feelings wouldn't show. Honestly, it was heart wrenching to read. His response? "thanks, keep talking to me.
". Seriously, a smilie face at the end. He is still in his fog and an idiot when it comes to his own kids.
kat
First - congrats on the card from your boss. Sounds like your review will go well. Fingers crossed.
Your daughter sounds awesome. It is important for her to voice her feelings and although she knows she can with you - you were right to direct her to communicate to her dad as well. But he doesn't WANT to get it. He may never get it. I believe that some of the guys (like mine) will never admit to what they've done. Sad but true. And their R with their kids will never be the same.
Ya dun good!
Barb
She will be mad at me because I called her 13! Lol. My sweetie is an awesome 14 now. Of course it has only been since the 15th, so she might forgive me. Lol
I just feel so bad for all of them. Of course right now she is more emotional and like me wears her heart on her sleeve. Yes, I am proud of her for trying.
Thanks Barb, I keep on trying. Kat
Yep, sounds like your boss actually sees how hard you work! BRAVO! Those kind of thanks are few and far between.
Your D14 sounds like an amazing young lady and she is that way because she has a mom who is open with her and guides her to make good choices and be true to herself. That is the best gift any parent can give. Her dad is missing out on all of the wonderful gifts her could have had from raising his kids. Unfortunately, your kids pay the price for it. Hopefully, someday, he will wake up and realize how badly he has hurt his children but until then....keep being their rock!
Had fun last night at the girl's band and orchestra concert. Got to catch up with former mother in law. Ex and I get along and whisper comments back and forth throughout. Girls insist on Baskin Robbins ice cream and ex pays . Then home to Hot in Cleveland, cant beat that!!
kat
Sounds like as wonderful a night as you can have in that situation. It's so much better all round when we can deal with the ex in a mature fashion. That said, I know it's not possible in all cases!
Ok, so my review was just meeting expectations but I am such a wonderful person with a heart of gold! WT??? I was not thrilled with some of the comments but that I am a wonderful person is supposed to ice over what other issues I have? Ughhhhhh.
One of my dearest friends asked me if I was interesting in being a paralegal. I said possibly. She was going to get more details for me. Maybe there is hope, we will see.
kat
How annoying! Of course, most employers rate everyone as "meets expectations" unless they are doing very poorly. A lot of them don't give anyone and "exceeds" because then they feel that the employee won't strive to better themselves if they think they are already doing everything right. It's a mind game.
Mish is right, they like to put everyone as meets expectations so people don't get complacent. Still disappointing I'm sure though.
Keep your options open!
Boo to non-recognition at work. That really s-cks!! Especially when you aren't feeling great about work anyway, that must have been really hard and it isn't inspiring for you.
(((Kat)))
It was hard to take especially after he kept telling me how great I am. Look I know that being good and kind mean more in the long run. However, money issues need to be solved and I know this job isn't going to do it. So instead of running to yet another dead end job, I am taking a look at myself and what type of job will match my personality. I need one where there is a variety of things going on, not routine.
Yesterday I had a bit of down time and I kept thinking how bored I am. I do love most of these people, my stalker is not included.
kat
It was hard to take especially after he kept telling me how great I am. Look I know that being good and kind mean more in the long run. However, money issues need to be solved and I know this job isn't going to do it. So instead of running to yet another dead end job, I am taking a look at myself and what type of job will match my personality. I need one where there is a variety of things going on, not routine.
Yesterday I had a bit of down time and I kept thinking how bored I am. I do love most of these people, my stalker is not included.
kat
Two police officers were shot and killed not too far from my house. Adding that to the sadness of Fridays shootings, it is almost too much to bare.
A bright light shone throgh the darkness in the form of my daughter from Slovakia coming home. She will be here until January 4th. She is wondering what is going on here. She certainly isn't alone with those thoughts.
kat
I heard about the police officers. So sad. They come to respond to a suspicious vehicle and this happens to them. Horrible.
So glad your Slovakian daughter is here for the holidays! Is she staying with you the whole time?
JOY!
The violence continues. That is absolutely horrifying!. Two Police officers shot and killed.
We lost 2 police officers responding to a domestic call a couple of years ago. But they were not shot. They went around a curve and hit a moose. Both died instantly. It sounds funny. It was terribly tragic. But it did not involve gunfire. In Canada - it is SO rare because there are so few guns.
The U.S. government responded quickly and firmly when they reacted to 9-11. SO many changes were quickly implemented. Makes it a pain in the butt to fly but it also makes us feel safer. Why can't they do the same with gun control? And why do so many Americans cling to the constitution and their right to bear arms? Guns are for killing people. I've heard so many on FB saying they feel the need now to further ARM themselves? Are you kidding? MORE guns on the streets and in our schools? Less guns. Please. Less guns. Let the military and the experienced, trained, licensed hunters have guns. But why do people need them in their homes and in their glove compartments?
Sorry for the hijack, Kat. I know this is a controversial subject but for me, a Canadian who has NEVER seen a handgun - I just don't understand why these changes were not implemented a long, long time ago. I know my opinion here will be controversial but I am just SO sad for these children.
Kat, I am happy that your Slovakian daughter has arrived. That must mean SO much to you and your happiness this Christmas.
Barb
Barb, you are fine. Mish, she will be here the whole time. She will kind of follow the boys as far as my ex. So glad she is here. It is as if no time has passes except my kids are all older. D14 was so excited to have her here. s17 didn't remember her too well. All of the divorce/Seperation stuff happened within a year of her leaving, so I think a lot got blurred in their memories.
I am off work today but have to work the rest of the week. Then I will have the next 2 weeks off during the holiday. I don't know how I will get throgh work the next few days! Lol!
I was going to add that I never felt safe going to that store. I would go there on a very rare occasion but even with a security guard, I wasn't comfortable. Not a great neighborhood.
kat
Great, I just found out that there is a rumor that some people are planning a shoot up at my sons high school tomorrow. S20's girlfriend' s grandfather is one of the cops at the high school. They are taking the threat pretty seriously.
I don't know wether to keep him home, call the school or what. Ideas?
Kat
Keep him home. PERIOD> Take No chances. Too many weird things going on. You won't regret it even if it is a hoax!
Barb
There is going to be a lot of that talk, given the CT tragedy (copycats always come out after these), and the superstition that tomorrow is the "end of times." Don't they already have a 1/2 day? Even though I am a teacher, I can tell you that most of tomorrow will be movies, class parties, etc - not much learning as socializing. If it makes all of you more comfortable, it isn't a terrible day to miss.
He has finals. They had a snow day today so they are behind. I know there will be extra security but still...
kat
I heard that some places in Michigan closed their schools today just because...
I would ask about options for writing the finals. I do expect since the police are aware of the threat - they will be all over the school. Still - can't be safe enough sometimes.
Barb
Yes, I have a few connections with the police and there will be extra security. Still trying to find out more.
kat
It's not going to be an easy decision - that's for sure.
Barb
Scary! And definitely a tough decision.
What did you decide to do kat?
Marc's high school has always been very security conscious but now they've gone into overdrive even locking the doors to the inside courtyard that can't be accessed unless you are already inside the school! The kids use it to shortcut between wings of the school so imagine their surprise on Monday when then ran full force into the doors and smashed their heads into it!
He was really pushing to take his finals. I spoke with a friend whose brother is a cop and also has a daughter going to the same school. I let him go due to the extra security. I told him to stay alert and if any time he felt uncomfortable to let a teacher know. The day went off smoothly. They already have to use their student ID to get in the building, so that helps.
I had a client come in just a bit a go and bring me a bunch of flowers. Lovely! Made my day, even with my amped up sneezing due to pollen!
kat
Congrats on the flowers - that's awesome!
I think you made your decision based on learning all the facts and sounds like it all went well. You also gave him the "out" by telling him how to get out of an uncomfortable situation. Good parenting!
I hope you and your family enjoy a very happy, healthy Christmas.
Barb
Honestly I was worried and I did keep checking the local news. I know I can't protect them forever but I certainly am going to try!
Kat
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