Post-Game Review - 11/13/11 08:23 AM
I picked this name because my prior thread was 'Game Point' which was active when W was either going to move out and we would likely D, or the small chance that she would miraculously 'wake up' and decide to try to save the M. My original thread was called 'WAW and 4 kids'.
She moved out, and I filed for D last July. I was just reviewing my old threads - amazing the journey I underwent but I am in a better place now for sure.
However D is not final yet!
We were trying to negotiate on our own, but I realized it was never going to work that way because we disagreed on some major issues, so I retained a L a little over a year ago. She did the same in return.
When looking back, I am realizing it has taken a LONG time because we were being patient and trying to negotiate a final settlement without having to go to court. We would continually delay scheduled hearings thinking that the other side was willing to settle.
However, looking back, the patter has been for her to ask for a little more each time. We have been able to close out many issues but support and date of separation still remain as open issues.
I finally decided we need to just play hard ball now and move to trial to get a final decision.
Its AMAZING how long this can take when you don't agree. The biggest sticking point is that she works part time, and we were originally getting agreement from them to base support on an amount higher than he actual income since the court would expect her to work more. Now they are backing off of that, and the reality is the amount of assumed income has been reduced by them by a little bit several times.
Therefore, I realized that this would continue indefinitely unless we pushed this to court and got a court order for her to look for more work, etc.
The date of separation issue is related to a large amount of stock I received that is worth several hundred thousand dollars, and I received it after she had clearly left the marriage although hadn't moved out. for this, we are going to make her justify why she would have considered the marriage to still be in tact when I received the stock - we will be bringing up her affair she had had for 18 months prior and all of her other actions that clearly demonstrated that the marriage was over in front of hte judge (if it gets that far - she may capitulate rather than air this out).
However, I feel fortunate that I have so far ONLY spent 15,000 on this whole process, but I expect to pay anothe 10,000 if we go all the way to court over these 2 issues.
Otherwise, I am so glad this is almost behind me. I met a wonderful woman and we are very happy and planning to get married in about a year. My life is really in a better place now - something I would never thought I would say knowing I was headed for a D!! It was the LAST thing in the world I wanted and as a result I put up with a LOT for about 18 months prior to filing finally.
She moved out, and I filed for D last July. I was just reviewing my old threads - amazing the journey I underwent but I am in a better place now for sure.
However D is not final yet!
We were trying to negotiate on our own, but I realized it was never going to work that way because we disagreed on some major issues, so I retained a L a little over a year ago. She did the same in return.
When looking back, I am realizing it has taken a LONG time because we were being patient and trying to negotiate a final settlement without having to go to court. We would continually delay scheduled hearings thinking that the other side was willing to settle.
However, looking back, the patter has been for her to ask for a little more each time. We have been able to close out many issues but support and date of separation still remain as open issues.
I finally decided we need to just play hard ball now and move to trial to get a final decision.
Its AMAZING how long this can take when you don't agree. The biggest sticking point is that she works part time, and we were originally getting agreement from them to base support on an amount higher than he actual income since the court would expect her to work more. Now they are backing off of that, and the reality is the amount of assumed income has been reduced by them by a little bit several times.
Therefore, I realized that this would continue indefinitely unless we pushed this to court and got a court order for her to look for more work, etc.
The date of separation issue is related to a large amount of stock I received that is worth several hundred thousand dollars, and I received it after she had clearly left the marriage although hadn't moved out. for this, we are going to make her justify why she would have considered the marriage to still be in tact when I received the stock - we will be bringing up her affair she had had for 18 months prior and all of her other actions that clearly demonstrated that the marriage was over in front of hte judge (if it gets that far - she may capitulate rather than air this out).
However, I feel fortunate that I have so far ONLY spent 15,000 on this whole process, but I expect to pay anothe 10,000 if we go all the way to court over these 2 issues.
Otherwise, I am so glad this is almost behind me. I met a wonderful woman and we are very happy and planning to get married in about a year. My life is really in a better place now - something I would never thought I would say knowing I was headed for a D!! It was the LAST thing in the world I wanted and as a result I put up with a LOT for about 18 months prior to filing finally.