I'm still standing, better than I ever did...

I am not sure what possessed me to post today after being off the board for the better part of 2011. But so many things have changed that I just wanted to write it down somewhere.

Wow. It has been four years since the end of my marriage. I remember how heartbroken I was, how desparate and devastated, and I wonder who that person was. I think about what I would have done differently during the past four years, if I could.

And the answer is: nothing. Because even trying to work things out with the ex was part of my healing process. I am happy to say that I have hit acceptance (and apathy) full on. I do not talk to the SG at all.

And over the weekend, my boyfriend moved in with me. He is amazing. IF all goes well, next year we will get married. Yes, that's what I said. We are not in a hurry. And I didnt.

Im still standing.
I cannot believe how far I have come, this strong, confident woman was this meek mild and devastated woman only four years ago. I almost have to laugh at the absurdity of it all, although it sure was not absurd when I was going through it. And please dont read that wrong, it is not absurd when anyone is going through it.

But in the reflection of the past four years, I think...I was not going allow this man, or lack thereof, to keep me down. An

You go girl! So glad things are working out for you. How is the new job going?

kat

Lola,
Good for you! I love reading posts like this. Sometimes it seems many of us stay stuck in the drama that was our marriage/divorce. Who else is doing something amazing after divorce??

The new job is really good. Of course, both bosses are out of town right now, so I am sitting doing nothing but reading about Amanda Knox and trying not to be bored lol! Thankfully one of them will be back tomorrow, and both next week so I suppose I should be greatful for the breather!!!

We do stay stuck, Golfgirl...fear is a might powerful motivator. It is hard to get back out there, and I have met some real bozos. But D, my BF, is a keeper. He gets me, and has had a lot of the same experiences w/ a WAS and a S who had extramarital affairs. It helps as we both make sure the other feels secure in the knowledge that in being on the receiving end of that experience, we are not about to impose the same on the other person.

I feel very blessed.

Wonderful Lola! You are such an inspiration!

Thanks Mish...but I just survived it. Came away a little wiser.

Gabby, yes. My ex is a faded memory and I have actually hit a point where I am glad he left. That sounds so strange because I was so heartbroken for such a long time. But I realize that had I stayed, and we had reconciled, I would have never trusted him again. Not completely. And I think in the end, I would have left anyway.

The experience has improved a lot of things...I found me. And in doing so, my other relationships, with my dad, my daughters, my friends has improved. I was able to go into this relationship with D just being myself and as a result, found this great guy.

I am lucky, I have seen some who just give up. I am stubborn, I keep trying...

Either that or I am really a closet glutton for punishment