I am so looking forward to midnight! If for no other reason that to ensure that 2010 is indeed a thing of the past.
I won't celebrate the end of my marriage, but I am able to celebrate the future and what it may hold.
So I hope to start 2011 out right with a new thread that will be {mostly} about me. I have a lot to figure out about who I am and what I want.
how did your D go so quick with children involved? Was it due to the infidelity?
Good 1965. I hate to say it, because it sounds so self centered, but 2011 SHOULD be all about you. But how many years, months, days, hours, minutes have you spent thinging about your X? Better to spend that time focused on enjoying on the present moment and, if someone needs to be figured out, spend it figuring out YOU. YOU are the one you will live with for the rest of your life, so its best to understand yourself. Not others. Happy New Year!!!
how did your D go so quick with children involved? Was it due to the infidelity?
Isn't that crazy? In the state of WV there is no waiting period. We actually would have been divorced on 11/14, but the judge got sick.
I did file with adultery as the grounds but because h and I went before the judge with an agreement, I had to change it to irreconcilable differences, or there would have had to be a hearing.
thank musclegal
I forgot to post a link to my last thread. here is it:
prior thread
2011 will be what you make it. What ingredients are you including in your recipe?
Hi NNP. I have been computer-less for some time, but now had a chance to catch up with my old friends. How did the month of January go? Are you treating yourself well? I bought myself flowers pretty frequently when I first got divorced. I think I am due for some again....what kind of flowers go for GROUND HOG DAY???
Mat! so good to hear from you. As of the 18th I am divorced. and while I never wanted this to be how things ended, I know it is best. I am ready to see what the good Lord has in store for me
Got my new ID card... now I am my own dependent lol
I hope you are well. I would love to be able to connect with you.
need a little input here please...
The last time I was on a date, Regan was President. Dating in 2011 is not something I wanted to know anything about and it is hard to figure out!
I do not understand the rules.
I met a man on facebook. Kind of odd I know, but he is a long time friend of a very dear friend of mine. We each posted something to a thread on her wall on New Years Day and all three of us were chatting back and forth then he asked if he could "friend" me.
to make a long story short... we have been chatting on facebook and the phone for about 6 weeks now. He is on a business trip now but asked if I would meet him for dinner when he gets back. We live about 100 miles apart. We have tons in common and I really enjoy talking to him and have been looking forward to meeting him.
Last night is the first time I have talked to him in over a week, cuz both of our schedules have been crazy while he is on travel... so, we chatted on facebook for a bit, he said something about just wanting to stay in his room last night (cuz he has been on the go every night) and I joked oh really who's room have you been staying in... then he says I did see one woman in the hotel I wouldn't have minded having some in room time with...
Now mind you we have not been on a date... but that felt like a slap in the face to me. Am I wrong in thinking that was an inappropriate thing for him to say to me?
interested to know what you all think :}
Since you left the door open to the comment with your "little joke", I would say no. It was not a slap in the face. Don't put your cart ahead of the horse...as you said you haven't even met yet.
Take the time to know get to know the guy.
kat
Hmmmmmmmmm
I have to say, since I have been single, that I am a bit surprised at how willing guys are to mention other women to me.
I think part of the surprise is that, having been married for so long, I am probably expecting "husbandly" behavior (as in - he wouldn't dare suggest he finds another woman attractive!) from guys who, obviously ARE NOT my husband or even committed dates.
Also, at least with the one guy I DID date, I think because he knew I was not a prude, he felt he could share some of those thoughts with me. I never could decide if that was a good thing (see how honest we are and how comfortable we are together) or a bad thing (he sees me as a buddy).
I guess my point is - I'm not crazy about it but it is common. I wouldn't count him out just because of that comment - but I'd watch his behavior when you do date to see what he really tells you.
It was one little comment and maybe he thought you were teasing him so he would tease you back. I would not worry unless it becomes a pattern...
Hey, at least you now know he HAS a sex drive!
LOL kml, TruDat!
thanks everyone. I guess I was being too sensitive. Luckily I did not let on that I was bothered by the comment.
Well as a guy I have a bit of a different take on it.
Personally if I was interested in getting to know you and date you, then I would not be commenting to you about wanting to be in a room with someone else in the hotel I was staying in. I find it in bad taste. I get where you think it was a slap in the face, actually.
BA
I see what you are saying BA, but if she hadn't joked with him about where he had been staying, he may not have said it. Maybe he thought it was a bit of a joke back. You just don't know. I still say, she doesn't really know the guy and can't make that assumption.
kat
apparently xh may be engaged. that is what his gf is saying anyway. it stung for a few seconds when I was told, but not for long and I am pleasantly surprised at how unaffected I am by the news.
Well he didn't waste any time did he. Detachment is a wonderful thing and so eases the pain of stuff like this. Just goes to show that your emotional involvement with him is over.
BTW, how are things with your Facebook friend?
BA
still just facebook friends, I guess that is as far as that is going. I would have liked to at least meet for dinner, but oh well. Closing on my house in a few weeks and have a great new house all lined up to move in to. new life, new house
NNP,
Sorry about the fb friend not going any farther than just that - but hey his loss and someone elses gain in the future!
Congrats on your new home!!! That is exciting! A new house really allows a fresh start - you can make it your own, decorate how you want it and it doesn't carry all the old memories of the past. I bought my own place last June and it was so therapuetic for me. I look at it as a huge factor in helping me detach and move forward with my life.
BA
this is so funny... seems like just when I resign myself to the fact that fbf (facebook friend) is not all that interested he comes back with a vengeance.
I have not been on facebook much... not cuz I was avoiding him I have just been busy. So, last night he sent me a txt message just to say hi and then asked if he could call. He called me on the actual telephone and we talked for almost an hour. It was fun and he did say "we have been throwing the idea of meeting for dinner around and I really want us to do that". So maybe I will go on an actual date {blush}
I have tons to keep me busy though and I am very excited about the move and the fresh start.
It's been ages since I've been here to check on my DB friends. NNP, did you go on a date????
nope still no actual date yet. I think this guy is really only interested in being facebook friends maybe.
Who knows I refuse to spend much time trying to figure it out though!
The boys and I are almost completely moved into our new home!!! YAY We close on our old house this coming Thursday! I can not wait. I decided to rent for a while (maybe forever). Every time I am in my new house I love it more
Next time to stop in, Mat... please let me know how you are as well.
I'm back already and hoped you would see that I was checking on you! Your new house sounds like the perfect transition. Is it in the same school district as before so the boys don't have to change schools? And how nice that you can decorate how YOU want! When I moved I thought I wanted to buy a house so just rented a tiny apt with a 5 month lease. Here I am 1 1/2 years later and enjoying not having the responsibilty of a house. However, I do miss the space!!! My daughter and grandson have moved in with me so it's pretty cramped at this time.
Meanwhile I continue to work on being happy just being me! I wonder if I wille ever want to date.
Mat! you sound great, glad to hear you are enjoying your space. My new house is 1.4 miles from the old house... made it nice for moving
ugh still have not closed on the old house. I will be so glad when that part is over! Everything else is going pretty well.
closed on the house... I am no longer a home owner! YAY One more step closer of being completely un-entangled.
Planning a house warming party in my new home... Life does go on.
Congrats!! Selling and closing on a house is not an easy feat in this real estate market these days! One more step towards total freedom for you and housewarming parties are fun!
BA
NNP,
Like you, I'm glad that albatross has flown the coop once and for all!
Looks like someone besides me gets to figure out what the "new normal" is ...
Had a pretty good day... oldest DS had to work all day, but youngest DS went to church with me and we have hung out all day.
Got a very unexpected text from xh this morning.... basically wishing me happy mother's day and telling me how much he appreciates me taking good care of our kids. Gag me... it ticked me off! The last thing I needed was to hear from him at all today! but I shook it off, didn't let it bother me. proud of myself for that.
...been suffering from a little melancholia lately. Friday evening was beautiful, saw lots of couples walking around hand in hand. I am in no hurry to find someone else. I am trying to find me, but it did make me feel something... not sure what.
Earlier today I stumbled across a picture of xh and his girl friend on facebook. He looks deliriously happy. I felt so strange looking at it, like it was a picture I should not be seeing.
For the most part I am doing good... My boys and I have some great plans for summer going to the beach in a couple of weeks and to visit SIL & BIL later in July. DS16 will be a senior next year. DS15's confirmation at church is in June... life does go on, there is no stopping it.
Deliriously happy? must just be reflection of you.
another step closer to total freedom today. I got the EZ pass transponder back from x, so now I will no longer know when he comes and goes.
at first he balked at giving it back to me and I almost caved, I still don't think it ever occurred to him that I have always known when he came and went. I wonder if it will ever dawn on him. Doesn't matter though, not my business... and hasn't been for a long time.
22 years ago today I was married to the man I thought would be my life long partner. It didn't turn out that way.
I have huge plans for tonight, getting all dressed up and going to a fancy schmancy party. So much better than sitting home wondering "what if".
I am determined to make this the last time I think of June 3rd as what would have been my xx anniversary. Got a whole year to work on that starting today.
Great attitude NNP!!! I hope you have a blast tonight. Dress to the nines and knock'em dead at the party!
BA
Wow! I really have not been on here since my (would have been) anniversary??? SHOCKING!
I think I will start a new thread.... and here it is:
A Little Bit Stronger