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Wandering Poster 54 - Come and knock on our door! As promised, a new thread! Maybe the last one, maybe not, who knows!
Went a bit more outside my comfort zone tonight... told the waitress at Friday's that I thought it would be fun to see her when she wasn't working. She said, "Maybe sometime, that would be great!" Which could be a polite way of saying "You're crazy!", or it could have meant exactly what she said. We shall see. In any case, I did it. For an introvert like me, that was a big deal. Especially an out of practice introvert!
You're an introvert? Me too! We need to start a club. But then we would not be that much of introverts anymore.
Now you just need to have the courage to be more specific of a time. What's the worst that could happen?
There is a checkout lady at at the grocery store that I need to start being more outgoing with. She thinks my daughter is cute.
Hey, I am going to lose my virginity on Saturday afternoon. Game of golf virginity that is. Match lady and I are meeting for the first time to play 18 holes.
Excellent, Kerry!
My plan, such as it was/is, was to test the water, and give her a chance to think it over. I'll be more specific next time, see if we can narrow sometime down a bit!
I was going to say specifics are good!
I hope you do keep a thread Jeff, if is always nice to pop by. How's Charlotte? Maple is behaving quite oddly, I think she senses somethings up...
(((Jeff)))
We shall see. In any case, I did it. For an introvert like me, that was a big deal. Especially an out of practice introvert!
That's awesome! Speaking as someone that stumbles at this badly, and trying to learn to get past this, think I'll follow along with ya!
What's the worst that can happen, she says, thanks but I am involved, or thanks but I am not interested, etc. Why we tie our own self worth so much into that is annoying..
Good luck man!
What's the worst that can happen, she says, thanks but I am involved, or thanks but I am not interested, etc.
I just thought of the worst...she could poison his order. Just kidding Jeff.
Thanks a lot Kerry! I'm not too worried that she'd poison my order, she's working for tips!
iwitw... I had to talk myself into it, that's for sure! And all I had to drink was iced tea!
(((((Julia)))))
Charlotte is being Charlotte! She jumps on me and meows to tell me to put her. And she purrs. And she sleeps. She is a cat!
Jeff, nice job breaking out of your comfort zone! I am impressed! And if she was really uninterested she could have fabricated a boyfriend to use as an excuse to say no...
Looking forward to seeing you take the next step and zero in on a time/place...
Jeff! I found your thread again!
Niiiiiiice job on the Friday's waitress! LoL I love Friday's btw... I see you are a fan, too! Let's come up w/another approach for you. (Does she wear all of those buttons on suspenders?) I agree w/BBJ. She could have said, "Oh, thanks, I'm flattered, but my boyfriend wouldn't like it much."
Kerry is an INTROVERT? <hard to believe!>
Good job Jeff...keep pushing yourself out of your comfort zone! Gets easier...
Sounds great and good for you! I would say yes
(((((BobbiJo)))))(((((mindfull))))((((rocked)))))(((((CG)))))
You are right, she could have come up with something different if she was going to say no. She did answer really quickly. I rather expect am a bit older than she might normally date, but I'm not going to worry about that for the time being. Time will tell.
Coming up with a time and place might be a challenge. I guess I shouldn't ask her if she'd like dinner at Fridays! And she works every evening other than Monday and Wednesday.
I still really can't believe I asked her. But I did! Now I need a plan. Mindfull, they don't wear the buttons at this Fridays, just black shirts, and black pants. We've probably got until Tuesday to think of something, I have the kids this weekend, and I don't think we'll be going to Fridays.
And CG..... thanks!
Has she mentioned whether she golfs??
((((BobbiJo)))))
For all I know she's an axe murderer in her spare time!
I know nothing about her. I know she made eye contact, and asked me my name after I asked hers! That's about it. She is usually pretty busy when she is working, so we have really hardly talked. It just adds to the "out of characterness" of the whole thing!
Had a calm weekend. Had the kids most of the time. I went golfing yesterday, was over the green on a par 5 in 2 (got the par), there was a bit of a tailwind, I think. Then finished par-par, including the hole that requires a whack over a lake to the fairway. No tailwind on that one. So I am ready to go out again. The kids wanted steak last night, so I grilled them some, and they liked it. London broil, not the best, but pretty cheap, and they liked it. And then bratwurst on the grill this afternoon.
I would have liked to made it to Fridays, but there really wasn't any way. I might be there Tuesday night, though!
Surprisingly enough, I ate at Fridays tonight...
Fridays lady has three kids, S5, S3, D1.5. She's been in Tucson about 3 months, come down because the kids' dad moved here to get back with an X, and she wanted the kids to be near him, and I guess she wasn't tied down at all. So, within a few weeks kids' dad decides he has made a huge mistake. But because of money they are living under the same roof, which is working great for the kids. She works in the evening, he works during the day. She did say she felt a bit guilty, as she is leading him on because she needs him right now. But that it is very over, and has been for a long time. (Do people trust me with stuff you wouldn't expect to here the first time you really talk to them?)
She's taking a course in real estate investment, and planning a business with some other women. She's hoping to be able to be working days by the fall, when her oldest starts school.
She's also a musician, she said she plays the guitar and sings, and is planing to record some music this year, as well. I asked if she played anywhere, and she said that she did almost every Friday before she moved down here, but hasn't since she moved here.
So, I know a lot more than I did, and I was right that she is interesting! I left my phone number, she also made it clear that she was hoping I'd be back soon. Trying to find a time to see her might be challenging, with her schedule and living arrangement. But, we will see!
Jeff,
the only thing worrying me is the...you guessed it, the living arrangement and what it means... Other than that, I am glad you are stepping waaaay out of your comfort zone...
Hugs
K
(((((Kalni)))))
The living arrangement is a lot scary. At this point I'm not going to worry about it. I mean, it's not like this is likely to be a long term thing, really. If it's even a "thing"! But, a friend is a friend, and I can do that, anyway!
Jeff - Great for you to be chatting it up. I take it by her kids ages that she is a bit younger than yourself.
She is definitely younger... I don't know how old she is. She doesn't look real young, but I'm a terrible judge of age.
She works in the evening, he works during the day. She did say she felt a bit guilty, as she is leading him on because she needs him right now. But that it is very over, and has been for a long time. (Do people trust me with stuff you wouldn't expect to here the first time you really talk to them?)
Just my two cents but this sends up huge red flags to me - not only the living conditions, but the fact that she's leading him on which to me means he is currently under the impression that they are a couple in reconcilliation. How will he react to you coming in the picture - he will most likely see you as an OM. Also if she's already using him, what keeps her from doing the same thing to you. Sorry don't mean to be cynical, just a little bit concerned by this and don't want to see you walk into a potentially volatile situation. Tread very carefully.
BA
Yeah... I was content (not thrilled, but content) with the idea that they were roommates, since sometimes you just do what you need to do. But I am not comfortable with the leading him on thing. I got the feeling that she isn't either, but she's obviously talked herself into the necessity to do it. This may well require some more thought.
Jeff...you have proven a million times over that you are outstanding as a friend!
Starting there is not a crime! Think it over, I see the issue with the living arrangements...I suppose it speaks to her character IF she said she is actively leading him on to make her life financially/logistically easier. However, if HE is the one making assumptions vs her actually leading him on, that is different...
We will be 78 today...miracles do happen!
(((((BobbiJo)))))
Thank you!
Well, she used the words "leading him on", and said some other things, that I don't remember exactly, that made me think that she wasn't very happy about what she is doing. Reading between the lines, and perhaps mind reading a bit, I think she has rationalized her behavior.
So, the guy in me is screaming "RESCUE, FIX, RESCUE, FIX!!!!!!". I am doing my best to beat him back. I do think that (if I actually do ever meet her when she isn't working), I will talk to her about this. The most she can do it tell me to mind my own business... but I don't think she'll do that. After all, it's not like I pulled teeth to learn what I know now. I think that her feeling that it's better for the kids might not be true in the long run, and I wonder if she's thought of that. And I am thinking that she is really not happy with herself about it, her eyes were saying something. So, I think it might not hurt to talk to her, maybe there is a way for her to live and not feel bad about it. The trick is making sure I am not trying to fix... a fine line!
So, like, I think that's my, like, plan, you know?
Sounds totally awesome for your plan man! I can't decide if this reminds me more of the valley girls in Ca or teens of today. Maybe a bit of both.
No where does it say you can't be her friend but again get a clearer picture of the "roommate" situation. No fixing!! lol
kat
Seriously, that is just like
so a legit plan, Jeffers. For reals.
Well, I for one am totally down with it - if you know what I mean, man.
I can't decide if this reminds me more of the valley girls in Ca or teens of today.
BobbiJo does it so much better than I can! But then again, she just lived with it for a couple days!
I need to fine-tune the plan, but I like it, too!
Jeff -
You sly fox, you! Wahooo for chattin' it up w/the young mom!!!
Next time drop your keys on the floor in front of your table. LOL
(((((mindfull)))))
You have no idea how far out of character this is! I'm pretty shocked at myself!
I told her last night that I didn't like that in order to see her I had to make he work for me. That just doesn't seem right.
She is young. That's something else to think about, at some point. For now, I don't think it matters. She's not THAT young!
I guess this does answer the question of whether she had any interest or not, doesn't it?
Nuttin' wrong with being young, ya know! Not like she's in high school. If she was we'd have to call you a creeper--I found out that's what our HS girls call older guys who scope them out in public...
So, what's the plan? Is she supposed to call you?
Glad to know I'm not a creeper!
I don't expect her to call, I just left the number so she could. It was clear that she's expecting me to show up again this weekend, though. I think I will find out when her class on Wednesdays ends, and see if she's like to have a dessert afterwards. Or, depending on the timing, a snack before. I really don't want to intrude on the time she gets with her kids, which might out a crimp in the whole thing, but that's a bridge to be crossed when it's arrived at. Or something like that!
Oh, I told her last night that if I had to eat at Fridays every time I wanted to see her, I was going to get fat! She said that she could suggest menu items that would help to fight that! And that she had a problem resisting the fries when she was hungry at work!
Oh, there was a method to my phone number madness. I figure now that she can feel safe to give hers to me, if she wants to, but she can just as easily not, if she isn't ready to do that. After all, I could be the axe murderer! If I asked her for it, she'd have to decide right then, and could feel pressured to answer. Since I know where she will be, and how to see her again, there's not the same need to get it quickly as there would be in another situation.
Fridays is a lot busier on Thursday than it is on Tuesday. Not a lot of talking, but I think that was just the right plan. After I ordered, my waitress appeared at my elbow and said, "I have a present for you." She had her phone and a set of headphones. She was having a horrible time getting them untangled, and said "this was supposed to be fast! I had them wrapped up so neatly!" I told her I could do it, she said push there when you are ready, and asked me not to poke around on the phone. I got to listen to her play and sing, she said it was the song she plans to record first. It was pretty good, kind of a folk thing, being one woman and a guitar. I expect it's called "I am what I am". So, clearly she was looking forward to my visit. Like I said, not much time to talk, but that's ok. I don't have a clue where this is headed.
Nice! So she was waiting for you....
Jeffy! LoL Whoo Hooo!
I thought of you last night.
I was increasing my intelligence, watching Millionaire Matchmaker. Patti (the Matchmaker) was talking about who attracts who, how a millionaire might be interested in a waitress... And, she says... "Hey, it doesn't matter what they do or what they're worth. What matter is if she makes their penis come off the chair."
And, that right there, is wisdom, for this am!
OMG mindfull!!!! That is too darned funny!
Jeff, so fun to know that she was waiting for you. That has to feel really nice!!!!
Enjoy your weekened! Hope you get some good golf in!
(((((BobbiJo)))))(((((mindfull)))))(((((mishka)))))
Yep, she was clearly waiting. I guess she probably always has the phone, but she was waiting! She got kinda flustered when the headphones wouldn't untangle... nerves?
Her eyes got my attention more than any thoughts of "other" activities. Maybe I wouldn't make a good millionaire!
JEFF -
OK, did your EYES come off the chair?
Well, it would seem that they must have! I'm not sure what to call what's going on, I'm almost like a stalker, with permission!
I'm not saying that I'd be opposed to other activities, just that they were not the first thought!
Does that mean they are going to take my man card away?
Without being too wordy (stop laughing!)...
There's a guy at work that is sort of one of my "customers". He writes and executes test plans on the equipment that I am responsible for. When we work together, I try to be friendly, as I would with anyone, but nothing unusual. His English is hard to understand, a difficult accent, but I try to do my best.
Anyway, this afternoon he came to my desk, and talked a little about the next test he needs me for, but it was obvious that wasn't why he came over. It turned out he had concerns over the health of the precious occupant of the cube he is being moved into, and he said I was the only person he thought he could talk to about it!
Hopefully I reassured him, and helped to reduce his worries. But really, it told me something about me that I didn't really know. As I have said before, I don't really have an outside of work relationship with anyone at work, so it was a surprise to me.
See? I told you that you are an outstanding friend!!!!
So you did BobbiJo. I didn't have any idea he thought of me as a good friend. It's another piece of evidence that contradicts what XW was trying to get me to believe about me. It felt like she was on a campaign to convince me that I was judgmental and selfish. This would seem to suggest otherwise. I like that!
Slept rotten last night, sore throat, coughing up lungs. Ran out of lozenges, so I went on a search and found some throat spray, which I think saved my life. Still was really tired, spent most of the day in bed. I think it did me some good, I got up about 4, took a shower, and the kids and I went and had Mongolian BBQ. Throat is still a little sore, but the coughing is way down. I'm pretty sure it's all allergies, we had nice rain this winter, and now lots of stuff is growing!
Maybe I'll up to Fridays tomorrow!
Whatever you do, don't turn on the Discovery Channel!
Thank goodness, that's over!
Ok...what was on the discovery channel that we shouldn't have seen? Curious minds want to know.
So your xw was trying to make you believe you were judgmental and selfish??????? WTH????? Seriously....12,455 posts here, mostly to other people, being helpful, kind, funny, and hefting 2x4's when needed doesn't equal a selfish, judgmental person to me!
(((((mishka)))))
I think it was called the anatomy of sex. It said that human females, other than my x, had sex when they didn't need to to keep their mate. Then it was talking about "older" people, and increased sensuality, I think.
I think xw needed a reason to disapprove of me, I don't know!
Well that just makes her that much more strange.
How she could have given you up I have no idea!
(((((mishka)))))
I don't know. And I try not to use a lot of brain cells on it. Sure, questions pop into me head, and I do spend time thinking about what I can do better "next time", but I don't think I would get anything out of overanalyzing the past.
And who would have though Butler would take Duke literally to the last shot?
I certainly hoped they would. I wanted butler to win the whole thing after Kansas was out of it. Always love the Cinderellas.
kat
Hope you are feeling better, I think I have the same crud.
(((((kat)))))
I flipped the game on, and it was 40-40.... I thought I must be in an alternate universe! Either of those last two shots could have gone in, oh, my!
My throat hurts something fierce. If I can't get in to the doc, I'm hitting urgent care. I am loosing weight like crazy, I got a burger yesterday, and ate about half. It tasted awful. I ate dinner Saturday night, and that's it since Friday lunch. I'm down about 8 pounds. I am sure at least half of that is dehydration, but even four pounds would be good to lose! The sad part is, I'm not even hungry.
Oh, Jeff! That is terrible. Why haven't you gotten checked out yet!?! Some of us ladies will have to fly down and take you if you don't go today...
Not sure how you aren't hungry, guess when you are sick that can happen. But that is a lot of weight in a short time. I know your throat hurts but can you drink something, anything? Warm tea, cold water, whatever works!
I second that- see the doc and take care of yourself Jeff!
Hugs, Bunny
Oh, Jeff! That is terrible. Why haven't you gotten checked out yet!?! Some of us ladies will have to fly down and take you if you don't go today...
Promise?
Not sure how you aren't hungry, guess when you are sick that can happen. But that is a lot of weight in a short time. I know your throat hurts but can you drink something, anything? Warm tea, cold water, whatever works!
Not being hungry is weird. I am not really shy around food!
I'm working on a glass of water now, every time I want a sip, I am making myself take several gulps. I scared myself yesterday. While I was at work (for about 2 hours) I got some kind of muscle cramps in my upper abdomen, the only thing I could do was sit and wait, and look like I was dying. When I bend funny, I get things like that, and they usually last 20 seconds, and then done, this was a lot longer than that, and kept coming back. I'm sure it's the dehydration.
Well, I am making progress, I'm playing phone tag with the doctor. I don't think I am going to get to see him, but I think I am going to get drugs. And that's a good thing!
Buddy you are going to wind up on IV fluids if you don't take care of yourself!!!
One glass of water down, I will have an OJ, and some more water!
Buddy you are going to wind up on IV fluids if you don't take care of yourself!!!
Wait..... will there be nurses?
Just don't do too much at one time...you don't want top drown!
Ok, I don't have what you have, though I could certainly lose 8 pounds. Sinus issues, throat is better but now I have a couple of cold sores. Yuck!
Get them drugs!
kat
Nurses, yes. Nurses that look like they walked out of a Van Halen video? Probably not...
Good point, BobbiJo!
I finished the second glass of water. I really want to hear from the doc so I can go get drugged. I am sure he will call, I think his office staff rations him. He does a good job, perhaps too good, of spending time with his patients, and I think it drives them crazy trying to keep even close to the schedule.
Jeff - Gosh, I'm sorry you're so sick! Can I get you anything?
Got soup?
Finally!
I've talked to the doctor!!!
He's calling in a codeine cough syrup to knock me out for the night, told me to come in tomorrow morning, most likely double booking himself.
Maybe I can get started down a good path, finally......
Sending you get well wishes, Jeff!
Feel better soon!
Hugs,
Sunny
Take the drugs and go to bed---that's an order!
Hugs Jeffy!
Jeff, for crying out loud! You're not at the Dr. yet! SMACK! Don't they have walk-in clinics by you!? Hell, even Walgreens has them! Now you better get in first thing in the am! Sheesh!
HUGS and a SMACK
Good to have the powerful drugs. Get some rest. And all soup is not necessarily good for you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxPFVCQ8PL8
Picked up meds, they said with food. Got a chimi, and ate half of it. Also some Pringles. Took drugs. On the bed, should be gone soon!
Night!
Sleep tight ~ don't let the bed bugs bite
and if they do ~ smack them with a shoe!
Feel better Handsome!
I remember once I had strep and pneumonia in college. I slept for 24 hours, setting the alarm to take meds every 6 hours. Bought a dozen donuts and ate one each time I took medicine. Never slept that long since, but sometimes your body needs it!
I hope those drugs are kicking in Jeff. That sounds like some really scary stuff.
Chicken soup buddy.....chicken soup. I make mean chicken soup. Maybe I need to get on a plane......hmmmm....
OK I have a win-win solution. Fly Mish out to make you soup. You get to feel better and have some pleasant company, and she gets to take a break from her home situation!
Hope you are feeling better today...even marginally!
(((((BobbiJo)))))
I might be a tiny bit better. The meds did seem to knock the cough down, but didn't knock me out. So I didn't sleep more quietly. I did see the doc this morning, he gave me an antibiotic, hopefully there is some bacteria involved!
So you want the hard stuff to knock you out huh? lol I slept most of the weekend and was running a fever. So much better now, but if I forget to take a dose of the sinus stuff, I become a bit of a mess again.
Did you have soup yet or hot tea? Both always seem to help me. Maybe even a warm bath and then try to sleep.
kat
Darn right!
I have some soup for later, and got some special throat tea. If my throat wasn't killing me I wouldn't feel too bad.
Hope the drugs help Jeff, get some rest and take care of yourself!
(())
K
Working on the rest.
Listening to sports radio leads to hearing adverts to help with "male" issues... So this morning coming back from the doc I hear one that was talking about going for 45 minutes, or an hour... Well, after five minutes XW would have been saying, "Get this over with..." I'm starting to think that I am not the one that had issues..... It might take a while for me to recover from it, though. When (not if, darn it!) the opportunity shows up.
It makes me wonder what the correlation is between Spring and the increase of sex or at least sex talk...
kat
It makes me wonder what the correlation is between Spring and the increase of sex or at least sex talk...
kat
Anyone who says that there is not a connection, they are full of crap.
Coughing much reduced. Throat hurts, a lot! Hard to even swallow. Just had some "Throat Tamer" tea.... there's no taming going on! The best I've found is cold water... if I drink enough, it seems to numb things a bit, for a short time. I think work tomorrow is unlikely, Friday is my regular off Friday, so hopefully I will be well by Monday. And someday I need to go to Fridays!
Jeff---sorry the throat is not tamed! Rest up buddy...
Also, your are right it is a WHEN, not an IF....
Have you seen 40 yr old virgin? Where his first time it takes him about 1 minute and then they try it again and he takes forever....I can see that happening next time I get the chance! And I am not even a guy....
Yes, you must get to Fridays. But rest up first!!! You may need your energy sooner than later....
Sending over a huge cup of tea for your poorly throat and cough.
(((Jeff)))
I slept almost, kinda, normally last night. My throat still is killing me, but again, even less coughing. Don't want to swallow. Don't want to talk. But I think I am starting to mend.
XW called this morning. S22 had told her about my woes, I think the coughing especially, since he hears a good bit of it. She gave me the name and number of a pulmonologist she knows at work. Since I'm coughing so much less, I don't think I will need to call. I would rather stay all coordinated through the one doc, unless I am clearly not getting better.
Then I went back to sleep, and had a dream. It didn't make a lot of sense, it was a dream after all, but somehow XW, I, the kids (and maybe some of their cousins, xw's side) were at some sort of event. I think the kids were supposed to be going home with xw. She got into a conversation with a doctor that was there (?) and I was sensing "something". So I was gathering up the kids so that I could take them, and she wouldn't have to stop. I found this pretty interesting.
I had a dream the other day that the kids, myself and XW were camping in Alaska. A Bald Eagle and I watched a big grizzly bear maul and eat the XW. Weird. I suppose some of it comes from having a tense close encounter with a grizzly about 15 years ago while camping/hiking at Denali.
Wow you boys have some strange dreams!
I was going to say...!! I think it is because they are boys.
Who you rooting for Jeff? I gotta go with the seasoned guys - Tom Watson or Kenny Perry.
There's no way I would root against Watson! I still get upset thinking about last year! Perry would be a fun choice, too.
The story if Tiger would win would be something, though in a way, I'd like him to have to struggle a little! (My feeling is, that by the time this is all done, he is an even better player than he ever way, which is only a bit scary!)
When you get down to it, almost any of them could be a good story... but Watson would be off the charts!
And I would like to point out I suggested Freddie before he took the lead!
Couples is doing great!
The 18th at Augusta is intimidating.
Well, I think I will live.
My throat was driving me up a wall. I realized that lozenges and spray were not doing a thing, which made me think the problem was inflammation and swelling. Took a couple of ibuprofen, and 45 minutes later, I could eat! So, I am not well, but I know what I have to do to live through it. I'm supposed to call the doc in the morning, so I can tell him what's up. Perhaps he will have a better means of treatment, but I can deal with this for now.
So glad you are feeling a little better Jeff. Lay on the couch, watch the Masters and be lazy! I hereby give you permission!!!
Doing a lot better today. Cough more or less not an issue. Throat much better, irritated more than sore. Voice, well, I hardly have one!
I was up kinda early this morning, after an almost real night's sleep, then I went back to sleep for a couple hours. About noon, I realized I was going to go stir crazy. So, I made a tee time, and went golfing, figuring I could always quit. It was so nice out, I took it easy on myself, golfed so-so (but a couple pars), had dinner (not Fridays, I was in the wrong direction, and have no voice).
Now I'm watching some baseball, I have the Masters recorded, so that's next. I'm chillin'!
Golf recorded? We need to work on getting you a girl friend pronto!
Well, I though it was recorded, but I don't see any sign of it.... I am puzzled!
Poor Jeffers without his golf!!
I'm thinking Kerry is right....GF required pronto if watching recorded golf is the highlight of your night!
Kidding of course......
I would much prefer a GF to watching golf! And a golfing GF would be great!
I went out this afternoon, it's sunny and in the 80s. The wind was a bit strong, which makes some shots a bit interesting. Didn't score well, as I had two terrible holes, but I hit the ball pretty well, pretty often. And I parred the last, which is my nemesis, so that was good! I was thinking it would be a lot more fun to play with someone I knew!
I'm going to get a shower, and some good smell on, and go have dinner. Where should I go?
The golf is recorded this time, so I have something to do tonight!
Just a quick update, since I am supposed to be working!
I did go to Fridays Saturday, I am sure that's a shock! They were busy, so not a lot of talk. I did ask if she would be there Tuesday, she said yes. I said it seemed like that was a lot less busy day, and there might be a chance to talk a little. She agreed. I told her I would be back on Tuesday, and she said she'd like that. I reached out and gave her hand a squeeze as I was getting up, then she did the same. I think it is time for something to change up a bit, a dessert somewhere, or something. I could get fat and broke the way things are going right now!
I definitely have a bit of a golfer's tan now, it's kind of nice to be able to tell I've been outside.
I'm back at work, which is good... I am sad that I used most of a week off to be sick... I can think of lots of better things to do with me time! Still a little tired, but that isn't too shocking!
Hey friend, maybe you needed that week off, maybe just maybe! LOL on the golfers tan....I get excited about my softball tan, which is virtually the same thing! Hope you get those taxes done, and that your voice gets better!!
I know I needed the week off, but that doesn't mean that's how I wanted to use my time!
Just finished the taxes, I don't like doing them!
I Think I may have a date for next Wednesday evening. I went to Fridays tonight, they were much too busy! But, in the end, I asked my waitress to consider the possibility of dessert next Wednesday evening after her class/meeting. She didn't say yes right off, but she came pretty close. This may be interesting.
Sunday night a woman on Match emailed me first, which is pretty rare. We have emailed a few times. I think we may meet soon as well.
Did I mention how far out of my comfort zone the whole Fridays thing is?
Yes, you have and I LOVE that you are doing it anyway.....Wednesday may become our lucky day!
But adventure is good!! Make sure you let us know! And for the record, all us ladies know you can do it!!!
Two things that have crossed my mind today...
1. We missed the second anniversary of my last soda! April 9, if I am not mistaken!
2. I realized earlier today that I am probably the subject of server gossip at Fridays.
And...
3. I miss Lisa! I was scanning old threads to find the last soda date...
Congrats on the soda kicking! Wow, that was a fast two years!!
*tiptoes in and goes to sit in the corner to watch*
Hi Jeff - hope you don't mind, but I'm LOVING your story...has me grinning loads.
*sends good vibes from across the pond*
(((((Ness)))))
I was looking back in time, it looks like you disappeared about the time I started.
If you ever want to do some light reading, I have had 55 threads! In theory, the first post of each has a link to the previous thread!
And just so you know (and it isn't a secret, it's been mentioned before), I have a real soft spot for an English accent!
(((((BobbiJo)))))
It's hard to believe it's been two years. I was reading about the liver biopsy and all, it seems a lifetime ago!
ooo hugs! I love hugs! thanks Jeff
I'm a bit confused to be honest - loads of my posts have disappeared and there was some incredibly intense DB101 stuff going on with my sitch. *grin* looks like I got the lingo back quick enough too.
Long and short of it:
Me - WAW Dec 04
H met OW and moved her into the house in Jan05 (quick worker that boy *grin*) I found out when I went to try reconciliation - what a kick in the keester that was! Then the yoyo-ing between OW and me for about 10 months till finally I had enough. D came through in July 06. But I did meet some truly amazing people on here...kinda sad I lost touch.
But yes - I'll definitely have a look at your 55epic sagas - maybe not tonight (it's already almost 2:30am here)
Hate to burst the bubble but I'm actually from South Africa originally - been in the UK for 15 years so a very bonkers accent going on...but I'll do my best.
*hugs*
(((((Ness)))))
SA accent isn't a disaster, either! At least for a while I could recognize it, while I was living in England.
And isn't Charlize Theron from SA? Not bad company to be in...
*hugs Jeff and BobbiJo*
Well then I'll just snuggle my slippers in here then - yes Charlize is definitely from SA - still is weird for me to see her act with a semi-US accent lol.
Let me know if you need anything from the UK Jeff - I'll send over a care package
maybe even a little something for your 'girl-Friday'
hm - does this mean we'll have to call you Robinson? :P
Oh, my! A clever sense of humo(u)r as well!
But, if you read far enough, you will discover that you'll get a lot farther with socks, than slippers!
oh dear - does this mean I'm going to have a marathon session of reading the interweb from A to Z(eee)?
Socks/Slippers, with or without 'u'...looks like we have the makings of a sitcom.
um...question...are socks preferred because they double as driver head covers?
I think you are going to like it here, Ness!
The short version of the socks thing.... A couple, maybe three years ago, Lisa (OneDay, who also happens to be from England), got her H a poker set for Christmas, trying to get something personal, but not too personal. That led to talk of poker for things other than chips, and socks became the focal point!
Date with Match lady tonight. I'd call her K, but Fridays waitress is also a K, so I won't call her anything yet! No expectations, which is kinda nice.
O.o eep @ Mr Crusoe!! Socks I take it were then an alternative 'clothing' option eh? :P
Squeeeeeeeeeee @ date action - I think you've got all the story groups covered...the little match girl and girl Friday - you dark horse
Fingers crossed and ALL the juicy details please *hugs*
Hmm...........didn't know there was a date! Missed that in all the coverage of Friday's lady...
Hope you are enjoying yourself!!
Well, back from the date. She was really nice. Yeah, you know what that's code for! No chemistry at all. But, had a nice dinner, and we did enjoy chatting for a good long time.
She said I'm real.
I might even see her again for dinner and conversation, as long as we both know that's all we are expecting.
LOL well thanks for the sum up! I don't know how ya'll can do match....that would scare me too death!! and of course you are real!!!
Just make sure if you spend time together again you are clear with her that it is a 'friendy' outing....wouldn't want to be a heartbreaker now!
oh well - chalk that one up to experience and at least you didn't have to file her under B for Bonkers
The UK guys on match are all only after one night stands and quicky sex - *sigh* I give up
So back to Robinson Crusoe's adventures - coconuts anyone?
Just an experience. I sent her this in response to an email she sent saying she was nervous:
"No need to be nervous.
The absolute worst thing that could happen is we have a nice meal, and go separate ways. Oh, I guess there could be food poisoning. That would be worse. :)"
She kinda said the same thing about Match. Guys that she could tell were married, and lots of creepy ones. Which you would think would help the non-creepy ones! But as she said, it's a lot of work to go through and try to tell the difference.
Coconuts....
Well I admire all of ya'll that can do match. I just couldnt do it myself........so ya'll just enjoy it for me, and I will take notes.
(((((Babygirl)))))
I couldn't have done it a year ago. And six months ago it would have still scared me to death.
I am slowly learning to work through my fears. Once I realized that they were holding me back, I have been consciously trying to get out of my box. I mean, I would never have asked a waitress out, even when I was young. Just would never have happened. I still might get totally shot down. But, I finally realized, that won't kill me!
sending you a Heeeeyoooooge Squish! Jeff
no it's not a bad thing - just excited that you're stepping out of the 'zone' and onto the magic roundabout!
*sits with popcorn and ginger beer and watches*
(((((Ness)))))
Popcorn and ginger beer sounds pretty good!
Had an interesting visitor this evening! Pic posted on FB.
ok so I'll bite - you're on FB - so am I but how will I know who you are??
oh and the gingerbeer is alcoholic - found myself waking up on the sofa at 5am - *cheeky grin*
Well, that is a bit of a problem, since we are not supposed to five personal information. But, somehow, lots of us have found each other! Look for Kalni Sunshine, then look at her friends, and search for one with my first name... that should do it!
I thought ginger beer was alcoholic! Since I quite drinking soda, I couldn't have it if it wasn't!
Someone is getting out of his little hole!!! (your visitor as well!!) LOL
K
(((((Kalni)))))
Wasn't he charming? So, I had the snake, where's the beaver? Oh, for the good old days!
LOL!!! Snakes and beavers, oh MY!
Your little visitor would have freaked me out!! I am sure S14 would have thought it was cool and taken tons of photos. I guess only in AZ.
kat
It was a pretty visitor! But I would rather it stay outside!
Charlotte the cat was pretty worked up!
LOL Mishka - I kinda had the same response you did!
Oh well we have to keep ourselves amused. Have done the unthinkable and reactivated myself on Match - oh how DIRE - now I remember why I left there...*shakes head*
Finally got over to FB to check out this pic of your visitor. EEEEEKKKKKK!!!!! WTH kind of snake was that? Of course, I live in GA. You know what they say, there are 870 types of snakes and 875 of them live in GA.
There are also varieties of bugs here that I don't think modern science has named yet. I swear there are new ones every year and they all like to congregate on my front porch.
ewwww jeff!!! keep that in arizona....I shouldnt have looked if I wanna make a trip there lol!! I will just keep my lil snake I had on my desk last week, I can handle that size! I am glad you are going outside the box! You keep that up, and I SHALL see about golf.....
Here is a cool video of a rattlesnake in someones house in Texas....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtYMUeKorggHad this been in my house...video starts showing snake and at the 5 second mark - BANG BANG BANG!. Then video would break at 15 seconds to be followed with a clip on the frying up of succulent rattlesnake meat and the kids playing with the tail.
It was a little snake, and it was scared! (And non-venomous.) When I first saw it, it was coiled up, trying to hide from the cat, and it looked very small!
It turned out to be really easy to round up and capture, I think it thought the box I herded it into was a pretty good alternative to where it was. Still, better if it just stays outside!
I went to Fridays Saturday... I asked about Wednesday, it sounds like her schedule this week was messed up and she was trying to change it, so I don't know how that's going to work out. I will probably go in tomorrow and see what's up. I have been having more time to think on her living situation, and I am not sure I like the position that dating her (if that happened) would put me in. If the kids' dad has any expectation that they are together, or could be together, I don't want any part of it. Even if she says she's done. I am not going to do anything that could even appear to make me an OM.
(((((Babygirl)))))
I an not planning on getting back into the box. I don't know what it is always going to look like, but it has been really good for me to stick my neck out a little, and realize that even the worst that could happen isn't that bad. I could insert all sorts of sayings... nothing ventured, nothing gained, etc.
For some reason that made me think of an old Adam Sandler bit from when I was in college..."I'm coming out of the booth!"............
Glad you aren't going back in.
I remember some years ago, shortly after moving into my house, my cat had its way with and killed a good sized garter snake outside. Pretty funny to watch. I dont know if you ever handled a garter snake, but they leave a really nasty smell on your hands from some fluid they excrete from their postanal glands.
I don't know what the cat was planning, she and the snake were having a bit of a staredown when I came across them!
A golf club made a good snake-herding implement. I was in the back of the pantry, and the 7 iron got behind it perfectly!
ahhhhh really gonna think about that learning golf idea now. Seems golf clubs could come in pretty handy
I agree no climbing back into the box, think its taken us to long to get out of it!!!
I do agree that you need clarification on Fridays real status.....and I dont believe for one instant that you would ever be an OM!!
I remember some years ago, shortly after moving into my house, my cat had its way with and killed a good sized garter snake outside. Pretty funny to watch. I dont know if you ever handled a garter snake, but they leave a really nasty smell on your hands from some fluid they excrete from their postanal glands.
I had a pet garter snake in college for about 6 months, I let it out to crawl on me all the time and I never got stinky! Maybe bc I wasn't trying to kill him?
lol the pic I posted on the alt of my snake run in was just a baby garter snake, I played with it alllll day hahaha!
Close, just make me blonde, in my pom squad uniform or sorority tshirt and you have it down!
(((((BG)))))(((((BBJ)))))
The thought of a pet snake has never held any interest for me!
Babygirl, have I mentioned how happy I am that you are back, and doing so much better?
The OM thing... I wonder how many OPs got into something never expecting to be an OP? It could be so easy to rationalize. There's a slippery slope. Going to make sure I don't get near the edge.
You women and your obsession with snakes!
I will stick with my state mascot as my obsession.
I believe I have to agree with Kerry on this one!
(((((BG)))))(((((BBJ)))))
The thought of a pet snake has never held any interest for me!
Babygirl, have I mentioned how happy I am that you are back, and doing so much better?
The OM thing... I wonder how many OPs got into something never expecting to be an OP? It could be so easy to rationalize. There's a slippery slope. Going to make sure I don't get near the edge.
And this is why I don't check out any of the Match people with 'separated' in their status, even though I used to be one of them...because Dan told ow #1 back in 2002 that he and I were "separated"...meanwhile we were living together, married, with a 6 week old baby!!!
So I don't want to start seeing a guy only to find out that he is still married...good for you on keeping those boundaries clear!
LOL I dont have an obsession with snakes, living in the country I have learned to deal with them, and that lil baby snake, the guys were gonna step on
!!! LOL! and what is your state mascot???
((((Jeff))))I am glad to be back too. This road is alot easier and alot more enjoyable with ya'll!! Glad you got your voice back!
And yes I wonder too how many people have innocently gotten involved...I will be very very cautious and ask way to many questions lol!
Kerry and Jeff, I suppose as long as we get our "snakes" you can play with "beavers". How is that for fair?? LOL
kat
That's fair, kat!
BG, Kerry lives in Oregon. The state mascot is the Beaver!
I hope you guys get your beavers and snakes fed soon. My headaches are gone!! LOL
(((((Kalni)))))
Somehow, I knew you would show up!
I'd be more than gracious to be generous to someones beaver using my snake...
Who would have thought all the conversation a picture of a snake could produce?? LOL
hmmmmmmmmm yes and who brougt up the snake anyways hehehe
Babygirl,
I thought you said you where taking on pet snakes...
oh but that was me saving a snake hehehehe....I didnt start the whole snake conversation lol!
There was a snake in the kitchen! What else could I do?
No beaver sightings, though!
There was a snake in the kitchen! What else could I do?
No beaver sightings, though!
The snake is on the hunt for beaver
Actually is seemed to be hiding from the cat. Which doesn't seem quite right, when you think about it enough.
ahhhh thats the problem...there arent any beavers in arizona hehe
National Geographic begs to differ. There are plenty of beavers in AZ if Jeff goes looking!
kat
I went to Fridays tonight, and I was prepared to tell "my" waitress that I thought it would be better not to see her outside of work. I just thought things were too close to being inappropriate. So, after I had eaten, she came over and talked to me, and said that while she thought I was an amazing person (well, of course!) that she didn't think that with all she was doing that she had time to add trying to see me (or something like that). I told her that I was thinking the same thing, that with the state of her life right now, it was probably better to not try to see her outside. I did tell her that I would still come in to eat, and we could talk if things change.
I think it was the right thing. I am content.
Good for you Jeff...always a class act. Not wanting to wade in where the waters are still a little muddy and all that...
Hugs!!
(((((BobbiJo)))))
Thank you. I try!
It's still a good thing she didn't say, "I'm getting off work now, lets go!" That's a challenge I would not have needed!
It was awesome that you had other good news (Suns). I dub you "Mr. Even Steven".
Thanks, Kerry.
When the Suns play like that, I'm not sure they can be beaten. But it's pretty hard to bring that game every time! I don't know how you defend them when they get in rhythm. Nash will find the right guy, in the right place to make his shot.
It will be interesting to see how the Blazers bounce back, and I expect they will. Don't know if it will be enough, but I dont't think they are losing by 30 in the Rose Garden!
The Rose Garden is very loud! But it sure did not help the Winterhawks (hockey) in the playoffs as they lost all their games at home.
If Batoom is hurt it will really be hard for the Blazers. The Suns can go ten deep, and still really play. That's got to wear a team down at the pace they like to play. I think it's one of the big differences over the D'Antoni teams. Still hard to win road playoff games, even if you are the better team.
In other news, there were layoffs at work yesterday. I'm glad it wasn't a couple or three years ago. There is of course speculation that there may be more, but I rather expect that's just rumors. If I got hit, I don't think there is any way I could stay in town, which would be really unfortunate. But as far as my industry goes, it's really a one horse town. I don't think I want to think about this right now!
If we get down to less than 5 players, we have coach Nate who probably can still play.
I am going to a girl scout camp next month at a place owned and operated by former World Champion Trail Blazer Larry Steele. He has his number retired and was the first person to lead the league in steals when they started keeping track of such statistics.
I think it is interesting how many former Trail Blazers end up living here after their career is over. We even have one named
Chris Dudley who is running for governor. He was one of the worst free throw shooters when he played, but his defense was pretty good.
Uggh on the work situation. At your advanced age, it is not very desirable to have to go looking for another job.
Meh! Look who's talking about advanced age!
The thought is scary. And surviving round one means that if there's another, the target is a bit closer to everyone that's left. Just have to try to stay out of the crosshairs.
Well I hope it totally avoids you!!! You have to be there when I master a couple golf lessons......
What were you up to this weekend Jeffy????
I really hope the layoff rumors are just that- rumors- and nothing else goes down at your employer.
And yeah- how was your weekend?
Hugs, Bunny
Working.....
Weekend was kinda lukewarm.... it was rainy Friday, and cool. I was off work, but couldn't get motivated to do anything. Saturday, I golfed, very poorly. I am a lifelong slicer, but lately I have taken to a strong draw, one might even say a hook. I hooked a sand wedge, for goodness sake. And the last full shot I took was a 6 iron that I am convinced was coming back towards me by the time it landed. I am exceedingly frustrated!
Kerry....
Go away Blazers!
I wonder if Roy can play every other day? His knee is going to be hurting! I just watch a little of Saturdays game on the DVR... I would not want to be a visiting team in the Rose Garden. Home team winning each of the last three would not shock me in the least.
Back to work! Hugs to all! Well, maybe not Kerry....
This Blazer fan needs no hugs and there will be no home team victory tonight!
I was amazed when the Blazers scored about 9 straight points when Brandon was standing next to the scorers table to check in.. What an awesome way to get the fans excited.
I am a lifelong slicer, but lately I have taken to a strong draw, one might even say a hook. I hooked a sand wedge, for goodness sake. And the last full shot I took was a 6 iron that I am convinced was coming back towards me by the time it landed. I am exceedingly frustrated
Someone translate please! I can only tell that it wasn't good by your use of the word "frustrated"- I don't speak "Golf"
Hook, slice, draw, and fade all are about direction.
Here is a good description with a picture...
http://www.tydaniels.com/hook-slice-fade/
Thanks- that helps a lot!
My ball used to start out where I wanted it to, and then move to the right, sometimes pretty violently. For a while over the past few months, it has been doing a much better job of going straight, and occasionally far. The past couple of weeks it's taken to going left, and not just a little. It looks like it's trying to get away from something! To the point where it started out going towards the right edge of the fairway, and ended up well off of the left edge. Not pretty.
Kerry, I don't think the fans in Phoenix will be cheering for Roy! And I really do wonder if he will be able to play, or play well. I have to believe it's going to be pretty sore after pushing it to go Saturday. There's no question that his presence was huge, both psychologically and physically. The psychological bullet has been used now, we'll see whether the play on the court stays as significant. I think the Suns may have a trick or two up their sleeves. I think there could well be three dogfights to come.
The problem with hooks is they seem to go much further than slices with the same club. Probably because a closed face has a smaller launch angle.
It is down to a 2 out of 3 contest now. I will be coaching from my living room tonight. And I hope Amare stops with the hits on Batum's shoulder.
The Blazers started out on fire, but then I dont know what happened. The Sun's sure did get a lot of offensive rebounds.
The stat I dislike most is the Sun's have not lost 2 in a row since back in January. Things are not looking good for the Trail Blazers.
I think the difference is the Suns bench. They can play a complete second five, and stay even or even improve. Eventually, that has to wear the other team down. And I think it's obvious that Roy is nowhere near ready. I think emotion got him through the last game, but he is clearly at least a step slow. Maybe more. The Suns defense is making it really hard on the Blazers.
It was just last year Channing Frye was a Blazer. But he is originally a Wildcat so he belongs there. But Jerryd Bayless is also a Wildcat and I think we will keep him.
I am here Jeffers, my eyes just glaze over at NBA talk....
Big 12 basketball is a different story...
Thanks for all the support this past week, I appreciate it! Hugs...
(((((BobbiJo)))))
The NBA has been growing on me... I used to be bored to death by it.
Kerry, Frye has turned into a valuable player, and his inside game seems to get better as he makes more threes. His defense and rebounding are way better than they were at the start of the year, too. Bayless is a good player. I thought he would have been well served by another year in college, though with the coaching situation that was going on here, it might not have been such a good thing. I don't know that he'll ever be all-star material, but he will be a solid player, I think.
Baseball, Hockey and Basketball are ok, but nothing comes close to Football (aka Gridiron) as a team sport. I cant think of any other sport where the coach has such an impact on the game.
There's no question that the coach has the most impact in football. I have to think about whether that's the definition of a team sport! But it isn't a terrible definition.
I went to the driving range tonight. I never really got into a comfortable groove, but Captain Hook seemed to have vanished. I have no explanation. Sliced a few, pushed a few, even pulled a few, but I think there were only one or two that I would call hooks. I think I have said this before. It is a stupid game!
Never yell rat farts or call golf a stupid game!!!!...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8A3M-d_eIqo
Don't you play word twist anymore?
I can play word twist! I just hadn't looked recently!
Game on!
He has been too busy kicking my rear in Bejewled Blitz!!
Well, there are other things I'd rather do! But, well, that's not happening!
I was about ready to write the Blazers off, but they still have a chance with 5:30 remaining and down by 8.
Ok, 2 minutes left and down by 12 - put a fork in them - they are done. Cooked. Burnt!
Good luck with them Spurs. Your team has some fire. Great defense and scary from the 3 point line.
I hate the Spurs! I am hoping the Suns' bench will make things different this time. It's nice having Nash hopping at the end of the game!
The defense is really getting impressive. I think it all starts with Grant Hill. He sets the example, and the rest have to follow. I even saw Nash playing defense...
I'll say this. The Blazers have heart. I thought they looked like they quit in game 3 but they really did try to fight back. The injuries hurt. Though I hardly count Oden, it's not like he's ever played more than a few games in a season, and I don't know that he ever will. But Roy could have made a difference. He had guts, and did better than I thought he would, but there's no way he was himself.
I think the Blazers could be a playoff fixture for a number of years.
Well, I think my inner introvert must be going away, and don't even realize it.
I ate lunch at Chili's yesterday. I think the waitress may have waited on be before, but I'm not sure. Anyway, I paid with my credit card, and when she came back she mentioned a scene from a TV show with an actor with my last name. We started talking, she sat down across from me, and we talked for several minutes. I found out that her boyfriend is from Minnesota, she has problems with state taxes where she used to live (didn't file one year, and they have caught up with her), she had a crush on Charlie Sheen when she was young, and I think a few other things! I must be getting easier to talk to! Oh, there's a waitress at BWW that always gives me a big hug when I am there. She's married, has three or four kids....
It's all kind of weird. But I think it is saying something positive about me.
I hope everyone has a great weekend!
OMG Jeff,
I'm so sorry I've been missing your posts. You sound so lonely. Believe me, I know the feeling. Sometimes it seems like we are invisible.
Please know that you are easy to talk to! It's not always us who are in dire straights. Other people have issues too. I love that you are talking to people. And, there must be other places that you can go to meet people. How about church? Have you a particular faith that you were brought up in, or that you're attracted to? Go there. You can meet all kinds of people at church, you know. Have you tried Meetup.com. There must be some groups in your area. What city do you live in?
poet
Perhaps you are blossoming and growing in confidence and it is showing
You're great Jeff, I'm not surprised they are noticing!
Have a great weekend.
(((((poet)))))(((((Julia)))))
I am lonely, at least sometimes, but I don't think I'm wallowing. Well, maybe a I wallow a little now and then, but it's not controlling me. I've never been hugely social and outgoing, so I look at what's happening now as "baby steps" towards that. If nothing else, I have learned patience!
I've been getting to church semi-regularly, though I'm thinking I may visit some others. I think I am slowly spreading out, I just need to consciously remind myself to do it!
Jeff--Compared to when you joined this board, I have seen tons of forward momentum!
Very glad to see you coming out of your shell. You are quite a special guy and it's time you let others see that more...
I think we all wallow from time to time, I know I am guilty of that but I always think that DB and all the pick me ups I've received from this board over time helps me to not stay wallowing for too long.
I've found this amazing food over here. Sticky rice with Mango and Coconut milk. Seriously, I could eat it everyday and I reckon that I could cope with making that when I get home too.
I am hooked on the Japanese version. Sweet rice with banana and milk. That's some good stuff!
I would be in heaven down there with the food. I love Thai food. There a couple good restaurants here that I hit up regularly for my curry fix.
Jeffers!
Never forget how amazing you are. You, Woog, Kerry, and John were the guys who rallied around me when I first got here and helped me pretty much EVERY DAY for that first year, plus...
You guys don't post nearly as frequently, which is a good thing because you are moving on with life... But I miss you!
Oooh, Michelle that sounds good!
Food talk is just attracted to Jeff's thread.... LOL
Ok, you all are making me HUNGRY! I love all Thai and Japanese food. I think I must have been asian in a former life.
I also like Thai (XW is from there), Chinese, Japanese and Vietnamese. But my favorite of all seems to be Korean. I am having my 6th date tonight and taking her to the big Korean grocery store/restaurants behind my house (she gets to tour my home). It is the spicy tofu seafood soups that I love the most...
http://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/01/1c/63/90/tofu-soup-with-seafood.jpg
Food talk is always welcome here!
Michelle, mishka, Julia, BobbiJo! You know that you are all really special! We've spent a lot of time together! Some was a lot of fun, some a bit less so. But we are not done yet!
Hey Jeff, yes not only forward momentum, but look how well you have coped.. its hard on men I read, divorce, after being in a long term R with your W for what 20, 25 years ?? Yet you are living along and looking after yourself well and getting out a bit more than you did in the M? Thats really something.
Do you think it would be good for you to be around female energy a little more, even if its platonic? What with your sons and I presume as an engineer you work with lots of guys too.. I always tell bf's single mates to do evening classes/courses as those are pretty much 80-100% woman in those classes ! I did pottery for years, mainly all woman, but a few guys were in the class, throwing pots and they got ALL the attention! Not romantic, just chit chat. I also did upholstery, which had a few more guys in, but lots of woman. Then theres tennis clubs, a great way to pair up with woman for matches. I know you love your golf though.
I also agree with Bobbi, you were so there for me every day when bf first left. I can never thank you enough for that and all your help with any itty bitty bit of contact from him in the early days.
xx
(((Jeff)))
It's true I missed you guys too much!
Thai food is amazing I have to say, but the only thing is that the meals are kind of the same - rice for breakfast, lunch and dinner. There is no definition. Luckily I have found a nice lady who does toast in the mornings so I am a happy bunny
I really like Ali's idea Jeff...
((((Jeff)))))
You have been a Godsend for me through these years of turmoil nd continue to be. I am looking forward to years of continued comraderie!!!
Love Ali's idea! Get involved in something totally outside of your comfort zone. Maybe a painting class? Photography? How about a foreign language class?
Hey, if you need a project get cracking on that Arizona assigment. Is this DB meetup ever gonna happen? Somebody pick a date!!
(((((Ali)))))(((((BobbiJo)))))(((((mishka)))))(((((Julia)))))
Ali, you know you are on that list too! With apologies to the guy, having the support of so many wonderful women really helped me realize that I wasn't the person I had become convinced I was! It really helped a lot.
I think the idea of some kind of class is a really good one. I will start to actively see what's available. I really have been a recluse long enough!
An Arizona get together sounds great to me! Weather wise, sometime in October or November would be really good. I think December and January are probably a bit busy with other things for everyone, then February through April are pretty nice again. Of course the most predicable weather is in the summer. And I think it's kind of neat, even when it's hot! The monsoon season (pretty much early July through August) is fun, storm wise. They are not generally dangerous (though some folks manage to make them so), but they are really fun to watch.
If some of you really think you can make it, I'm up for making an actual plan! I think I will post in the other universe, and see if "we" can decide on a most likely time of year, and go from there!
I love you all, you know!
HUGS!
You couldn't have done this while I was still at that end of the country????? LOL...I wish I could make it!
(((((Lola)))))
Yeah! You had to run away, didn't you!
That sounds fun! Karen and I have been trying to figure out when to meet for quite a while now. We were thinking Arkansas but this might work too!
kat
One advantage to the summer here is that accommodations are pretty inexpensive. Since most people don't come here then!
AZ would be awesome of course, but I know we once discussed "Vegas, baby!"
A)Cheap flights/hotels to Vegas all year long
B)Plenty of fun things to do, although we may need to rent out a ballroom to hold us all!
C)There would be options for the ladies to gather for a Spa afternoon and the guys could go golf and smoke stogies and scratch themselves or whatever you do when you're together...
*big pout* no fair you all get to meet!
Sounds awesome though
Hmmm.... Vegas isn't an awful idea, either. Though you'd miss out on my grilling!
I need to do some research.... but Google is my friend!
Well we will see what happens. I may have to catch a quick flight...
Hey, if you need a project get cracking on that Arizona assigment. Is this DB meetup ever gonna happen? Somebody pick a date!!
I'm there!
For sure!
Tucson or Vegas! I have never been to Vegas, so that would be fun. Keep meaning to go and see some of the Cirque de Soleil shows!
I sure liked the Jubilee show at Bally's in Vegas. So bright and colorful. It is topless for the evening show and one does not even hardly notice that.
I'm torn...
First I'm not really a Vegas type, though that's just me. Over the top glitz, light, and noise are not my usual thing. Then again, I've been working at changing my usual thing, so maybe it's a good idea.
On the other hand, in Tucson there could be sunsets over the mountains, steaks on the grill, and relaxing on the patio with cheesecake and some wine. A different dynamic, that's for sure. There are several resort type hotels in Tucson for those that are interested in that, as well as all the usual accommodations. There are a few "things to do" in and around Tucson that probably fit more in the relaxing category than the exciting...
I'll have to poke around a bit, I think that Tucson might not be too expensive to get to in the summer, who'd want to come here?
So, we ARE going to do this... the only questions are when and where!
Right! I'd be up for either. Relaxing on vacation is always good cuz then you don't come back needing a vacation from your vacation! LOL
Count me in. If I can figure out who can take care of my mom I'm totally there!!!
Vegas is great. I've been more times than I can count though so relaxing with friends sounds right up my alley.
(((((kat)))))(((((mishka)))))(((((Michelle)))))
kat, of course you can come!
I'm still torn...
I wish I had a pool...
Stewing...
But it's good stew!
We will just have to stay at hotels that have pools!
So are we looking at a long weekend type of thing or what?
I think so... that's makes the most sense to me, and seems like the best way to get as many of us as possible to one place.
I'm thinking summer, but I am not stuck on that. Fall would be great for the weather here. But I don't know if as many could make it then. If it was Vegas, it wouldn't matter as much.
Vegas...
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Hmmmm....
Since it doesn't get any hotter than Nor Cal where you are...I don't particularly care when LOL. Other than August, which is gonna be a very busy month for me with annual training and my trip to Hawaii. (I love you all, but if I have to pick between AZ (or even Vegas) and Oahu...well, you all will understand I'm sure...I'll be on the beach if you need me).
Well, of course it does!
But I think we could attach an addendum to apply to Tucson!
In the next couple days I will start to try to build a consensus (if such a thing is possible) in the other universe, and see where it leads!
OK, I am starting to think I am not who I thought I was!
I went to lunch at BWW today, as I often do, and my waitress was the one who always stops to talk, and give a hug. I got there a little later than usual, and I think she was hoping to get to eat her lunch while I was there. When she brought my food she said I should not be in a hurry, but then later she said she was mad at her boss, who had told her she couldn't eat just then. (She never said she was planning to eat with me, but I can add!) Anyway, as I was finishing up, she asked me if she could ask a personal question, and asked if I was married. I said that I used to be, but not any more. She asked if there was a girlfriend, and even why not!
It's a bit of a puzzler. She did say some negative things about her H, but not hugely so, actually sounded more like normal differences, and that she was ok with them, or at least working with them. It's a bit funny, she said that she is "a lot" (I don't know what that means) younger than her H, but that he is the one that hasn't grown up, wants to go out all the time, this and that. And that she would rather stay home and snuggle. Then she talked about how she liked to talk, but gets frustrated when she has to hold up the whole conversation. I said I used to be the quiet one, but was really working on that. To which she said, and I think I quote, "You are amazing."
Anyway, I seem to be getting validation all over the place! It is a strange feeling!
That's wonderful Jeff! Other people are taking notice of the man we all know and love!!!!
WTG man!!
The ladies love jeff...it's a consensus!
I am good w/either location just so I can sneak in a spa treatment somewhere!
Although I was looking forward to seeing the guys get dressed up like in The Hangover...but do guys really do that when they go to Vegas? Or is it all cutoffs and birkenstocks?
There is dressing up involved if you go out clubbing. Otherwise, if you're just hanging in the casinos or out walking it's shorts, sandals, and those yard long drinks with a sling to hold them!!
I've been thinking about researching some of the spa resorts in and around Tucson and seeing if there might be a way to get a deal in the summer. Then I COULD have a pool! I'd just stay there, too!
The ladies love jeff...it's a consensus!
It just puzzles the heck out of me! I go into a place, sit down and eat, and this? I mean, I try to be nice, I try to appreciate the job the servers do. I always say thank you. And I leave a decent, though I don't think over the top, tip. Are good manners so rare that they make me amazing?
I'm starting to think my XW might be missing out on something!
Hon, you are amazing anyhow!! You are friendly, aren't hitting on them and recognize their hard work. What isn't there to like? I am looking at air fares as we speak!
kat
Hey kat!
I saw the results of your efforts on BBJ's thread. You might want to throw Tucson into the mix, it's about a two hour drive from the Phoenix airport to my side of town. Sometimes it costs more to fly to Tucson, sometimes less.
We are probably looking at July, but I don't think things would be any more expensive then, possibly less.
Mid July is $263.00! Not too bad. There is one stop though. that is out of MCI to TUS.
It is the old flight attendant in me kicking in. I think I need to get on a plane!
kat
Guys, try Greece. With our economy and the dollar doing better, maybe it will be cheap
I can't fly direct to TUS either. I have to have a layover in Las Vegas or Phoenix usually.
Well, interestingly is seems that going dark may work.
I haven't been to Fridays for two weeks. I went tonight and got a hug when I got there, and a hug when I left!
Those hugs can eventually lead to kisses which can lead to...
Well, I guess that could be. For now, and with what i know about her situation, hugs are just right.
Hugs are almost always right. No matter whether the situation could lead to other things, or already has. Hugs are still the bestest!
Those hugs can eventually lead to kisses which can lead to...
STOP RIGHT THERE....
I GOTTA KNOW RIGHT NOW...
Before we go any further do you love me, will you love me forever, do you need me, will you never leave me, will you make me so happy for the rest of my life, will you take me away and will you make me your wife...I gotta know right now...before we go any further do you LOVE me, will you love me forever....
Just don't end up "praying for the end of time"!!!
LMAO! That was just the first thing that popped into my head. Gotta love Meatloaf!
Hugs are still the bestest!
There's a reason I like you ((((((Michelle))))))!
I think I'll be listening to "Bat Out of Hell" on the way home tonight!
Those hugs can eventually lead to kisses which can lead to...
STOP RIGHT THERE....
I GOTTA KNOW RIGHT NOW...
Before we go any further do you love me, will you love me forever, do you need me, will you never leave me, will you make me so happy for the rest of my life, will you take me away and will you make me your wife...I gotta know right now...before we go any further do you LOVE me, will you love me forever....
And today's
Belly-Laugh Of The Day Award 
goes to LolaL!
Kerry,
Let me sleep on it.
Greatest live music video ever...
Ain't no doubt about it, Kerry. Hadn't seen that in a
long time. Thanks. And
Ain't no doubt about it we were doubly blessed
'Cause we were barely seventeen and we were barely dressed
Is perhaps the greatest line in any rock song ever.
I'm torn...
First I'm not really a Vegas type, though that's just me. Over the top glitz, light, and noise are not my usual thing. Then again, I've been working at changing my usual thing, so maybe it's a good idea.
On the other hand, in Tucson there could be sunsets over the mountains, steaks on the grill, and relaxing on the patio with cheesecake and some wine. A different dynamic, that's for sure. There are several resort type hotels in Tucson for those that are interested in that, as well as all the usual accommodations. There are a few "things to do" in and around Tucson that probably fit more in the relaxing category than the exciting...
I'll have to poke around a bit, I think that Tucson might not be too expensive to get to in the summer, who'd want to come here?
So, we ARE going to do this... the only questions are when and where!
I vote for Tucson - if I'M invited.
The kids made me book Vegas the other day. 2 weeks starting in mid July. They want to eat cheap lobster. They are going to be majorly disappointed...
http://chzoddlyspecific.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/129096715732789657.jpg
Hey Jeff haven't seen anything on the alt yet...I am looking at dates to do stuff so the sooner to start the plan the better. My Mom already offered to watch at least half of my kids(do they want the tops or bottoms...I don't know. lol) so I am good either place. Did the 15th-18th of July sound good to anyone else? I have to plan around my bosses two weeks that he is gone plus birthdays.
kat
I will put something up today!
I don't mind helping, just let me know.
kat
I hope the Sun's can get a victory tonight and get the home court advantage in their favor. There is no other team I despise more than the Lakers.
Oh well. The Suns have 2 more cracks in LA to get a win. That is assuming they can beat LA 3 times in Phoenix.
That's going to be quite a trick, Kerry! I do like the direction the Suns are headed, since they were supposed to be a fringe playoff team. Lopez makes a difference, but I don't think he's ready to play as much as they need him to.
Kat, I will take you up on your offer, as we get things figured out!
I posted in the alt. If you are not there, let me know, and we will get info passed along.
I am bad! I have already started looking at resorts for that time frame. lol I think I am in desperate need of adult time.
kat
No time now, but I will throw out my thoughts when I get a chance!
Oh don't feel rushed at all. It is just me. I love planning stuff like this ...been doing it since I was 18 in Denmark.
So how hot does it get in July? Do we want to head to the mountains instead??
kat
It gets hot. July is actually not the hottest, as there is a little humidity, which leads to thunderstorms. But, I would say it would be in the neighborhood of 100 every day.
The advantage of July in Tucson is that it is cheaper than most of the rest of the year.
The mountains would be nice... it still could be hot though! And probably more expensive. But... any ideas? I'm up for options.
I wonder if some of the ski resorts in Utah or Colorado are cheap in the summer?
kat... in case you were wondering... that was an invitation for you to use your research skillz!
Wouldn't you know I now have a vacation day tomorrow.
I was just thinking maybe that was a bit of a drawback being so hot. I do melt but I thought as long as there was a pool and ac I would be good. I am really partial to TN but I would be happy searching Colorado too. Cooler is always good.
Thanks for letting me get in on planning!!
kat
I'm not convinced TN would be enough cooler in the summer, and humid too! My sister is in the hills of eastern TN, and I remember some steamy Memorial days visiting there!
So far the hotel seem to be around the same range if not cheaper but I was looking at Salt Lake City and Denver. There seems to be plenty to do if everyone isn't in the sit around and talk mood. What do you want in a hotel and I can try and get more specific. I will be jetting by AAA today and getting some books so that will help!
Sorry, I love this stuff.
kat
Bring it on kat! I wish I could go but going anywhere that is going to require a flight is financially impossible for me right now. Now if TN were an option.......I can drive there!!!!
I have heard that airline prices are expected to rise this summer. So glad I booked my July flights to Chicago last month!
So the location is still to be determined, eh?
If I heard Denver I suggest these two places...
http://www.invernesshotel.com/http://www.omnihotels.com/FindAHotel/DenverInterlocken.aspxBoth have golf and spas and a variety of dining and other activities. Plus both have promotional weekend rates, one as low as $89/night and one $99/night, Thurs-Sunday...
If it is Tucson I am sure there are several hotels with golf and spas. Since half the country wants to boycott the state I bet we can get good deals! I am happy to go to Arizona...no discrimination here.
Lots of resorts with golf and spas in Tucson.
Don't know lots of details, but here are a few... more after work!
Esplendor Resort in Rio Rico. Where they film Primal Grill for PBS.
Tubac Golf resort.
Those two are a little bit out in the country, but not real far.
Then there is the Westin La Paloma, Marriott Star Pass, Ventana Canyon, Omni Tucson National, Hilton El Conquistador....
I'll tell you what I know about them later... have to get going!
HUGS!
Weather in Tucson will be about the same as here except the thunderstorms. So I'm fine with that. I could get a ticket for about $250 I think. I'm not sure about the other places.
The nice thing about Arizona is it is mostly a Dry Heat with a Monsoon season mixed in. The lady I am dating lived in Des Moine Iowa for a while (where she met her H) and says it is so hot and muggy there during the summer and freak'n cold during the winter. I am quite happy that the Pacific NW has a pretty mild climate.
You and me both Kerry LOL.
I actually prefer the heat. I HATE being cold. And I get cold so easily. I think a nice dry 85 with a breeze is like the perfect temp! And anything up to 100 isn't bad. The days it breaks 110 are definitely a bit much, but luckily they are pretty few here.
Oh, but I will be bringing jeans and sweaters to Tucson. Cuz of the elevation it gets quite chilly at night compared to nor cal.
Michelle - Where in northern California? When I lived in Klamath Falls Oregon, I was a self proclaimed Shastaholic as I was obsessed with climbing and skiing that mountain (and it's little sister Shastina). The views of the Trinity Alps were outstanding! Would you mind if we annexed everything north of Redding to be part of Oregon?
Have you ever visited the Lava Beds National Monument?
I'm in Sacramento right now. Lived in Paradise for a few years (up by Chico) and have also lived out in Vacaville.
My mom's side of the family is roundabouts Eugene and Marcola.
I have been to Shasta quite a few times, I was in a baby carrier the first time I went up it LOL. Haven't been to Lava Beds in years, but I have been. Fun stuffs.
Why just north of Redding? If you're gonna go that far might as well take Redding LOL.
Looking at a map, I would say that Sacramento is central California.
I have a deceased aunt who lived in Vacaville.
The Lava Beds is indeed a lot of fun with all the lava tube caves to explore. And the history of the battles between the Modocs and the US Army is very interesting.
I like the monsoon season here. A trip up the mountain takes the temps down a good 20 degrees, which makes for a nice afternoon, and the evenings can cool off a bit!
And on Saturday evenings, the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum is open into the night.... it is a unique experience. Get your google out!
There's the Pima Air and Space museum, which is actually really good... lots of it is outside, but there are some excellent inside exhibits, as well.
There are a couple Casinos, not talking Vegas, but if you need to part with your money, they'll take it!
Tombstone isn't far if anyone wants to go back to the Wild West, San Xavier Mission is worth a look, as well.
And, unfortunately, I'm not being paid by the Chamber of Commerce!
Nope! Central California doesn't start til you get down towards Modesto. There is a distinct climate change as you get down into the valley there. Plus there's not enough people north of Sacramento to count for much except Redding LOL.
I have done the Sonora Desert Museum twice...but never at night. That would be SO cool!!!!
Tombstone is also super cool.
There is tons of bird-watching in AZ if you are into that. They have one of the most amazing hummingbird populations.
I love hummingbirds! And I like the movie Tombstone!
I know this is tough. I got books for Colorado, Utah, Arizona and I have one on Tennessee. This needs to be decided in the next week or so to get decent reservations I think. How many people are going? So far I know of 4 that are pretty sure that is Jeff, me, Michelle and Bobbi Jo. Jeff I am sure wouldn't mind getting stuck with all of us girls! lol
I gather you guys want near a golf course, hotel has to have a spa or at least the options of a massage and a pool is a must. What else?
kat
I am liking both of those Denver hotels!!
kat
Today was a good day. Spent the morning with a good friend, lots of smiling. Then kids, golf, kids pizza, and bed. Hard to beat.
How's things?
Well, I've dated a woman a couple times, then she had some drama involving her brother (long story, but in the end he is in some kind of rehab facility, and I think the drama is over).
Our first date had been rescheduled once, and she nearly did again, as she had had a rough day... instead she figured she would beg off after an hour. We met at a nice bar in a resort type hotel at 6, and we left at about 11. I guess her watch broke! The bar was a big room, had sofas, we were sitting on one of those. We decided that it must have been two dates, as neither of us would have kissed on the first date. In the parking lot afterwards I hit a spot on her neck that made her jump, and say something about that being a 12th date spot.
So, we met again a few days later, and managed to eat in only three hours! Saying goodbye in the parking lot she said something about a 6th date kiss.
Here's the puzzling part....
She says (at least on the first date) that she wants to date more than one person because she doesn't want to rush into anything. Which actually makes a lot of sense. But her actions... well, they didn't match up so well with those words!
She also said that she doesn't want to rush into having sex (I said it was at least 4 dates, even though we only met twice...) because once you do that you stop talking, because you are too busy! But then she nearly attacked me in the parking lot.
Small (?) red flag... she's never been married. She's had her own company for years, and it was usually her priority. She was engaged at least once, and has had other boyfriends as well. So, is it a problem? I dunno.
Going for honest here, sex scares that heck out of me. My plan is to be really clear if that comes up. It's way to early for me to commit to something for the long haul. Whatever that means!
In other news, the drama hit a week ago Saturday, we were supposed to go golfing early that morning. When she cancelled, S20 said he'd go. Since then he's gone to the driving range three times, and we golfed together both Saturday and Sunday!
I will have the kids next week, I am thinking of surprising them by going to California and going rafting.
Ha Ha! I'm right there with you Jeff on trying to figure out women - except the prospect of sex part is not scaring me one bit - just waiting for launch codes.
How long until the boy passes by his old man in golf?
Wow Jeff! I am so pleased for you!
Reading your post a lot of it is you trying to read her and what she wants. What do you want? Casual dating, potential relationship etc etc. I would define that and then take it from there as that will shape how you view things. She and her feelings are her responsibility and you and yours are your own.
It sounds like she likes you! I would say on the sex thing, take it slow for both you and her. Enjoy the romance and the build up. Sex is more enjoyable when you know a person well in my opinion and there is more trust there if both of you are anxious about things. Focus on the other things like kissing (a good old fashioned snog is always great!) and move on to other stuff, that way you will build confidence with each other. I didn't really understand what you meant being clear if it comes up though? Clear about what?
I was nervous too the first time I took the plunge with someone new, but I'm so glad I did because it really wasn't as scary as I thought it was going to be - in fact it was fun
sorry for the tmi
Remember, she is probably feeling anxious to.
Hey Kerry!
If S20 stays at it, he might beat me by this winter! The only thing that might save me is that I don't think he will have a lot of time to practice this fall. He is starting to hit the ball hard, and now and then it looks like golf. He has the usual beginners slice, so for a while I am safe!
Julia...
Yes, what do I want? I think I am worrying over nothing. The last time I was considering having sex with a woman for the first time, it was with the idea of being committed for the long term. And that's not where my head is now. I guess that's what I want to be clear about.
Congrats on the dating and don't think so much - just enjoy
.
Yes, what do I want? I think I am worrying over nothing. The last time I was considering having sex with a woman for the first time, it was with the idea of being committed for the long term. And that's not where my head is now. I guess that's what I want to be clear about
Jeff, I think as long as you are very clear about what you are looking for, you should do fine. I know how you feel....I am not into having a serious committment right now, and I am not sure when I will be. I am just looking for someone to have some fun with! As far as the whole sex thing, you may need to stop over-thinking it and just jump in!!!
But make sure to wear a wet suit! LOL, sorry, couldn't resist!
Umm....Julia, honey......is there something you forgot to mention to us????
I was nervous too the first time I took the plunge with someone new, but I'm so glad I did because it really wasn't as scary as I thought it was going to be - in fact it was fun
sorry for the tmi
Remember, she is probably feeling anxious to.
Was his name
Mick?
ROTFLMAO Kerry! Too funny!
Well Mish, I'm 28 and not a nun...
Jeff, sounds like you know what you want. Go with the flow and see what happens.
Jeff, as long as both of you are clear that you aren't pledging to any relationship commitment, then do what feels right to you. You are a good guy and I am sure that is evident to whomever you date.
Go Jeff Go, Go Jeff Go!!!!
Haha.
So when is this potential rafting trip?
Probably sometime next week. I need to scheme a bit... it's a long drive, might try the train to LA, and a car up. Too late to get a cheap flight.
Or I might drive to LA, take them to Knotts Berry farm, then drive up to the river....
In any case it will be fun!
Knotts Berry Farm has river drifting.
Well of course it will be fun! Shesh! LOL
You should hit the theme parks in October one year.
Knotts Berry Farm hosts Knots Scary Farm. Disneyland gets all decked out. Fun times.
The first day we were in Disneyland as a family, it was "Bats Day". There were several thousand people (including their kids) dressed up in black "Goth" attire. It was very strange for someone like myself that is not familiar with the Goth subculture. It just seems to me that if and when a zombie outbreak occurs that the goth people have set themselves up to be mistakenly shot as zombies.
A quick update, then I much pack!
i was off work Friday, and had had another date. We met around 10am, picked up some picnic food, and went up the mountain, where it was much cooler, actually very pleasant. There was a lot of time spent on a blanket under the shade of a tree not eating the food, though we did get around to that eventually. Then we made it to the restaurant at the top of the mountain and sat on the deck, had pie, watched the hummingbirds, and talked. Then on to visit with some friends of hers that live in a cabin in the town up there. Very pleasant. Then we drove back down the mountain, and since it was dinnertime, we had dinner.
Many times through the day she would look at me and say, "I think you should kiss me." And so of course I did.
I our talking she talked about not wanting to be my "transitional relationship". She expressed concern that if we had sex I would think, "That was great! I wonder how great it would be with some other woman?" Partly because I have only had sex with my xw. Eventually I told her that it sounded like she wanted me to find another woman and have sex before she wanted to have sex with me. She thought about it, and said that she didn't realize that, but that was what it sounded like, and that wasn't what she wanted at all! But it does seem that I have messed up her plan, and it is bothering her. She had decided about a month ago, just a little bit before we first met, that she was going to date a lot of guys so that she could be sure she had not missed something (not her exact words, but the feeling). And in her plan, sex now was not the plan. But she was sending not too subtle signals that the plan was perhaps breaking down.
Anyway, after dinner we figured that we could pick up her car, and go to her place... she wanted to kiss and not a peck on the cheek. I had to go to the airport to pick the two younger boys, so there was a time limit, which we thought would make it "safe". As it turns out, we were right, but not by a lot. She is stil bothered at not following her plan... since I am going to be gone this week she is talking about trying to date several times to try to keep to the plan. I don't know that she will? As I was leaving we were kind of joking about it, she said something about need to get on the computer right away, and I said I was sure that's what she was thinking about. She said, "No, I am thinking about grabbing you and taking you back to the bedroom and having great sex!"
So I left at about ten, it was just short of a 12 hour date.
I am leaving today with the two younger boys...they don't know the plan. We will spend tomorrow and Tuesday at Knott's Berry Farm and the water park across the street. Perhaps a visit to the beach. Then we will drive up to Northern CA, and raft on Thursday and Friday, camping there Wednesday and Thursday nights. The rafting ends early enough Friday that we will drive halfway home, and then get back here Saturday. I think that should wear them out! And probably me to!
Sounds MARVELOUS Jeff! That woman is seriously into you and not wanting to admit it too much to herself. This plan of hers sounds really screwy, but who am I to judge?
Have a great time on your trip. You know, I worked at Knott's for a year and that is where I met Gabe. He was a "Ghost Town Guy" and that made him uber cool to all the chicks working in the park.
How silly, huh?
Which river are you guys rafting?
Hey Mish! She is into me... there's no question!
As we were driving down the mountain we were holding hands, and went a while without anyone saying anything. Eventually she said, "You know what I like about us? We can not talk and it's ok." Then she said, "If there was an us...." I think she is starting to see that her plan may be flawed.
We are going to raft the South Fork of the American. We're doing the two halves in two days, with camping in between.
Awesome
Sounds like a lovely date.
You time away with the boys sounds like so much fun too! Hope you have a great time.
Jeff,
I was happy to read your update. You deserve some fun.
On the other hand, maybe it is me, but I think that no-sex thing is ridiculous. I mean, come on, you are both old enough to know what you are doing and take the responsibility for you own choices. Nobody forces anything, right? Why, in nowdays, having sex with a single someone you like and potentially will care about (or already do) is such a difficult decision? I dont like playing games. I guess men do like games though...
Have fun with your boys...!!
K
Jeff, all I can say is way to go. You deserve to have some sex - ur - fun. Sorry, you know where my brain is. Maybe she needs a few more questions about "the plan."
Why is this plan so important? What does she think she will miss if she alters the plan? Is she worried about how you will react to having sex? Or is she worried how she will react?
Have fun with the boys!
Sorry for the lack of hugs... I am using my phone.
I think she its worried about how she will react and projecting it on me. She almost said as much. out would have happened Friday despite the plan if there had been time. I think the plan is out the window when I am there.
I think she must have read a lot of self help books and she is wary of a rebound. She created this "plan" to help her get through everything. Sadly plan and real life rarely work hand in hand. She must like you too, hoping that she won't be your rebound. Maybe you should tell her that in your book a rebound relationship = a band aid. You have worked really hard on yourself and you aren't in need of a ban aid.
hugs, kat
Have fun on your rafting trip! Take pictures and keep that camera dry.
When you get back, I hope your scoreless streak gets broken soon. You might even be purposely walked in for a run. I am now at 12 months and stuck in a rundown between 1st and 2nd base. The other team is well aware that I was trying to steal base(s).
(((Jeff)))
Have fun!
The south fork is a great beginner river. I am sure you all will have a blast!
The whole thing with your date is pretty funny. In a strange way LOL.
Well, it's been a while!
The kids and I had a total blast. They really enjoys Knott's Berry Farm, lots of coaster riding and general fun. It was a bit cool and cloudy so we never hit the water park. We did go to Medieval Times, as we did last year, the two of them thought it was great again. We drove up to the campground on the river, they didn't know where we were going until they saw the signs on the campground. We had two great days on the river... the first day the raft in from of us flipped (in Satan's Cesspool!), and we picked up three of the "survivors". OK, they all survived, but we picked up three, including a six year old girl! The second day we lost our guide going through the Troublemaker! We floated into an eddy, so it was ok. We have some pics taken from the shore, so we can remember it!
We drove home Friday afternoon and Saturday (the 3rd). Monday I had another date, we had a nice lunch, but then she got a call that her brother was in a hotel room in Phoenix, drunk and threatening to kill himself. She was worried, so I just spent the afternoon with her, sitting on the sofa, holding her.
She was still keeping to the "plan", but I figured it was just a matter of time. Our next date was golfing the next weekend, it was fun, but she was having lunch with her mom and a couple of friends so we couldn't hang out long much after. It was really hot, and we had some crushed ice with water, she would take a mouthful and then pass me some ice... a little distracting for the golf!
Then we met last Thursday for dinner and a movie. When I got to the table, she didn't move towards me for a hug or anything, I knew something was amiss. I sat down, and said, "You look somber, is something wrong?" She said there was... that in working her plan she had decided she had to take a different path, but she really wanted to be my friend. She was pretty much crying. She said he wasn't "better", just "different". I did tell her that half of me hoped he was great, and half hoped that he would turn out to be a jerk. She said I could leave, but I didn't I stayed and we ate. While we ate she even got a text from a friend who had figured I would bolt... but she said she didn't think I would. We were going to go to the movie even, but just before we got the tickets she got a call that her dog had escaped from her yard. It had happened the day before, so it wasn't really a surprise. She was even willing to go to the movie the next night, if I wanted to. I thought about it, but the next morning I texted her and said I couldn't see how I could sit next to her for two hours and not kiss her.
We decided later that we will go golfing next Friday morning, she was going to make the tee time at a club she has access to, she can't do it til tomorrow. So tonight I texted her to remind her. We texted back and forth a bit, I told her that half of me still hoped he was a jerk. She said, "I'm sorry to say he isn't. I mean I guess I'm glad...this is weird. But I understand what you mean. We'll see if this friend thing can work. I hope it can." I think she is still conflicted... but that doesn't mean I expect anything, because I don't. I told her that I knew he wouldn't be a jerk, that I hoped he was great. Good old high road!
I'm not second guessing anything I did. I knew she was dating other people, I knew this could happen, even if I didn't expect it. But I will admit to disappointment! I was pretty upset last Friday, I am glad it was a day off work.
So, it's back to the dating board... eventually.
OH Jeff, ((()))) similiar thing recently happened to me. No matter, her loss and someone else's gain. I was tempted to retreat back to singledom and over analize, but we are all grown up now so just go with the flow.
Your trip with the kids sounded great.
Make sure next lady doesn't have a plan, that did sound slightly odd but at least she was honest.
I guess this was a practise run for when you meet the "real" rockette.
Take care.
(((((naej)))))
It is tempting to pull back and analyze... but the only thing that I think conspired against me was timing. The only thing I don't know, and may never know... she was struggling with the idea of being #5, after the kids. I don't really see it that way, but not having any kids I can see how she might. I don't know, but if the other guy has no kids it might have been the tipping point. But I'm not planning on selling them any time soon.
She was totally honest, the whole time, so I can't be upset with her. I even think it is possible she could change her mind, but I am not waiting for that, or expecting it. I'll just cross that bridge if I get to it.
I need to convince myself to initiate some more contacts soon, before it gets too comfortable not to.
Jeff, thanks for correcting my spelling ( analyze ) I always spell it wrong, and funny thing is when I look at profiles on dating sites bad spellers go to the bottom of the pile. Shame on me.
Yes I think I got too comfortable in my singledom, easy to convince myself that I am fine alone, been alone a long time and life is less complicated that way.
Have the odd dates, sometimes with same person 3/4 times but no spark.
Still I keep my g/fs amused by storytelling my "adventures. Maybe your ladyfriend will reflect on her decision and then its up to you.
I for myself do not get involved with people who have children still living at home, unless they are big children like working. I have been there done that and know it is not a stage I wish to revisit, as much as I love my own and g/children, but I am much older than you and presumeably your dates are much younger than me.
What will be will be.(())
Jeff,
I am a bit bumbed to hear the latest lady is not working out the way you wanted. But, there are many others. Just remember to sample more of the buffet and you will find a good one.
Sounds like you had a great trip to California.
The kids and I drove through part of your state the other day going to and from the Grand Canyon. The San Francisco mountains near Flagstaff were pretty neat to see as I did not think trees could grow on top of mountains that are over 12,000 feet high. Plus, I am not used to seeing a mountain that high without snow or glaciers.
The highlight for me was Oatman Arizona with lots of
walk away wives and husbands to feed carrots to.
Too bad about the date! Her loss though. (((Jeff)))
I'm glad you aren't going to sell your kids just to make yourself more available for dating LOL. I am sure they are relieved as well.
Glad you guys had a fun trip!
We still need to do a DB rafting trip.
Not to mention our AZ get-together! (Which reminds me, I may be going to Japan in October for a week to visit my sister before she PCSs back to the states.)
Keep on that road Jeff! This sounds like it has been a good experience, even ending up the way it has. Stay out of that darned comfort zone!!
The trip sounds like it was a blast!!!
(((((naej)))))
I pretty much throw out the profiles that have terrible spelling, and a complete lack of grammar. I figure if that's the first impression they want to make, I'm probably not interested.
The kids thing is certainly a factor. My youngest is 12, and growing up fast, and I don't have them all the time. So to me, it doesn't seem that big a deal. (Of course, they have been in my life forever, as well!) I may never know, but if I had to bet, I think that may have been the difference. If the "friend thing" works, I may ask her someday. Or not, I don't really want to put her on the spot like that.
Kerry, the Flagstaff area is beautiful! The only time I have actually been to the canyon it was snowing of all things! I think I need to visit Oatman, your pics were great!
((((((Michelle)))))
A DB rafting trip would ROCK! I have never slept as well in a tent as I did after the first day of rafting. I was dead! And the scenery along the river was great!
(((((mish)))))
It was a good experience, though a disappointing ending. The comfort zone is a pain in the neck. I need to make those first contacts, which is always the hardest part!
Oh, so maybe we all should meet up in Japan?
lol
I would be so in for Japan if there was some sort of scholarship program...
Jeff that sucks with the lady you were dating! She obviously liked you MORE than just a friend bc I do not make out, nor am I tempted to, with my friends. But so goes life, right? I limit myself when gauging prospects due to my kids...if a guy is late 20s or 30, with no kids, I eliminate him. Cause I figure he will want kids one day...and I have mine already!
Enjoy the golfing if you guys can make that happen.
Yes, for Japan to work, I think we need a scholarship program!
(((((BobbiJo)))))
There's no question that she liked me as MUCH more than a friend, from the first time we met. Can you go from there, back to friends? I don't know.... I guess we'll find out!
I suppose you could go back to being friends, if you can let go of the urge to jump on her (funny the first time I typed that it came out 'hump', I hit the wrong key)...
I can totally do that with my coworker guy, but then we were friends before we went on a date...this is uncharted territory for me.
Have a good week! If you hear about any tomfoolery in Chi Town it will probably be me.
Yeah, I don't think Japan is a reasonable one LOL.
Ummm...BBJ, I think your first spelling was more accurate. LOL
What have you been doing this weekend Jeff?
Just woke up to spend some time with my cat. I think her days are numbered, and I am afraid the number is small. I hope I am wrong. But she isn't eating, and she is getting less active, and really skinny. S12 isn't supposed to be here this weekend (S15 is) but I may ask xw to bring him by. I don't think kitty will be here next weekend. I am sad. She got me through all of this.
In better news, I am going golfing with my former date this morning. I hope to just have fun. I hope I can put my cat out of mind for a few hours.
Hugs to all!
Poor Charlotte and Jeff!! Animals are so unconditional. They just love you. Have you checked with a vet? Maybe it is something minor(crossing my fingers). Let us know. Thinking of you.
kat
I'm so sorry to hear that Charlotte isn't doing well Jeff. Our pets become so important to us, especially when we are having tough times. She has gotten you through a lot.
Enjoy the golfing this morning. I hope you come close to par! Is that right? WTH do you say to a golfer? Certainly not break a leg!! LOL
Awww. Poor Charlotte! I know she is old, but I hope it's something minor like Kat said.
(((Jeff))) (((Charlotte)))
Have fun golfing!!!!!!!!!
Well love on Charlotte while you can, I know you will/are/have.
Animals are better at unconditional love than humans. Who else would kiss me when I have morning breath, bad hair, and haven't shaved my legs?
They are usually happy just to be in our presence it seems.
Enjoy the golf with the non-date...we'll see if she can keep up those self-imposed limitations. I just played Wii Golf for the first time this week at our hotel and I really enjoyed it. Think sis and I are golfing for real this weekend...
Have a good Friday.
(((((kat)))))(((((mishka)))))(((((Michelle)))))(((((BobbiJo)))))
Thank you so much for all of your good wishes. I made an appointment for Charlotte this afternoon. So, at least I will know. She has gotten worse really quickly, so maybe she is sick... I don't know, but I would hate for it to be something simple and not do anything about it.
Golfing this morning was fun, only nine holes, but I did pretty well. We both agreed that it was a little strange, but we are going to try to make it work as friends. She said again that her friends were surprised that I stayed for dinner the night she told me. And that I was a great guy. Going from friends to "something else" would be a lot easier than the other way round, I will tell you that!
I hope your cat is okay - my pug sends her good wishes and good health!
Sorry to hear about your dear kitty.
What was your score for 9 holes?
I played last night on a par 33 nine hole course and shot a 46 - I got 7's on the first 2 holes!
I have a date tonight with the now 50 year old lady who I have not seen for 3 weeks. I'm doing like you and going the friend plan with her although we do smooch a bit.
I didn't add up my score. I only lost two balls, and I had two pars, so i imagine near to 50ish.
I'm not really liking the friend plan in this case, we were moving forward pretty well on the non-friend plan!
Yeah, life loves to throw us curve balls though!
I am sorry for your kitty Jeff, Hugs!!!
K
((((((((Maria))))))))
I am hoping for good news on Charlotte, but not too optimistic.
I have to admit shedding tears last night when I realized how badly she is doing.
Oh Jeff, so sorry to hear about Charlotte, I guess it could be kidneys, amongst other things that's what happened to my almost 20 yr old cat.We just have to remember how they enriched our lives and be strong. Soooo hard, talking to myself here, a few weeks ago I made the dreaded vet appointment for my dog and then cancelled it, he perked up a little or did I see those baby steps ?? I am now in the same position of having to make another appointment.
Thinking of you and sending lots of hugs.
Thank you naej.
It's her kidneys. They have pretty much shut down. She had an IV all afternoon, and goes back in the morning for an all day IV. Quite possibly Sunday as well. At that point, we should know if she is showing the possibility of rebounding, at least for a while.
I am sad.
Jeff,
I've been there. I had a basset hound euthanized in my arms while I was in grad school (early 1980s) as well as our keeshond passing as W and I were comforting her in early 2003.
It is difficult and I feel for you...
Jeff, (((()))) so so sorry my friend. I cried for you.
Jeff,
Hope the kitty is doing well....I've been right there with you.
YAY for the golfers posting on this thread!! Hope that game helps with all the mess of this divorce stuff.
I just put her on the bed so I could pet her for a while, after a bit she moved over onto the pillow where she has spent so many nights. She looks a tiny bit better this morning, but I think it's just because of the IV she had yesterday. I am getting ready to shower and take her back for more.
I did do a little reading, and it sounds like at this stage she isn't hurting (based on humans with the same condition), she is just feeling tired and down. Which is just how she is acting.
I never realized how hard this would be. My childhood cat passed while I was away, I've never had to go through this. And I don't like it.
Thank you so much, golfgirl, Julia, naej, Daybreak, and everyone else. Your kind words mean a lot.
I'm sorry, Jeff.
Hugs, Bunny
Oh Jeff, I am right there with you. It seems that for some reason all of our pets died with me right there. She loves you and knows that you love her. Take more pics and talk to her.
Lots of hugs, kat
Glad she is comfortable, thats a great plus. I have shared my life with many cats and dogs and have never yet had one that has just gone to sleep and I can tell you it never gets easier and every time I say no more thats it, but then I go maybe a few months and I just miss having a pet/companion.
I have always found with cats that they know when it is time and start to behave differently like facing a wall or sleeping in odd corners behind doors etc.
My old cat was one I hand reared from a few days old,she fell out of a hay loft so mum was ferral but she was so special. To those not animal lovers this may sound odd but I have her ashes in a wooden sleeping cat in my hearth were she always loved to snooze.
I have a new one now also farm cat and she is like no other,so each one has a special place in your heart and never just replaced.
Sorry went off abit. Jeff you will do the right thing for her when the time is right I just know you will.((()))
Thank you Bunny and kat.
And naej, thank you for the stories. She is a special friend.
I dropped her off this morning, I hated to leave her. I don't think I will really hear anything much today, I pick her up tonight, and she will probably go back tomorrow. I think by the end of tomorrow I may know if there is any chance.
I know I can do the right thing. But if I have to do it, I know it is going to hurt a lot. She trusts me, and even if it has to be done, I am going to feel that I've betrayed her.
Charlotte the cat is back home for the night. She acts a tiny better, but then again she isn't as dehydrated. The vet allowed for the possibility of a future, but she was still very guarded. We won't really know anything until they do bloodwork again, I think that will probably be Monday.
I think she is even being her sweet self at the vet's, they say she is a sweetie.
Many hugs to you, Jeff....
Charlotte acted a lot more like herself last night. Being hydrated is a good thing. She was still weak, but she moved from place to place during the night, her usual spots. Some of them that I didn't think she could get to. But I know it may not mean much, yet.
Took her back to the vet this morning, she actually objected a little when I put her in the carrier, so she does have a little more energy.
I think I will ask them to do blood work tomorrow afternoon. Things I have read suggest there should be some indication of how well she may or may not recover by then.
Hugs to all of you!
I hope she continues to improve Jeff.
How is Charlotte doing today Jeff? How are you doing?
Charlotte is back at the vet today for more fluids, and then again tomorrow. (At least that's the plan as of now.) The idea would be to draw blood tomorrow afternoon, and see if there's any indication that things are improving.
She wants to be herself, but she is really weak. Last night she didn't wander as much, but she seemed more alert when I visited her.
I'm doing a little better most of the time. Then I think of coming home, and her not being there, and I tear up. She's a good kitty.
Just checking...((((((J))))))))
Charlotte will be going to kitty heaven tomorrow morning. It's the right choice.
I am so sorry about Charlotte. Losing a pet is so hard but you have been an amazing part of her life.
Thinking of you!
Sorry, buddy.
Really.
Been there.
Oh, so sorry to hear that.
This is something that was sent to me when I lost my little one:
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...
So sorry Jeff, but you are right you don't want her suffering. Poor kitty and poor Jeff. Hugs!!
Oh Jeff, I am so sorry. It is so hard to do. You couldn't have done anymore for her. Be thinking of you (((())))
I am sorry Jeff, it is the right choice...
Hugs and kisses,
K
Thinking of you today. big hugs!! (((((Jeff)))))
kat
Just checking on on you my friend, with more hugs.
I am so sorry to hear about Charlotte. I know she was a good friend that was with you through the tough times of your marriage and divorce.
((((((Jeff))))))))
Prayers for you today buddy.
She is gone. I was holding her. I will miss my kitty.
You gave her comfort when she needed it, just like she did for you Jeff. Hold her memory close to your heart.
I know you will. You were both there for each other. I am sure you gave her a good life.
hugs, kat
Of course you will! Glad you could be with her til the end.
(((Jeff))))
Charlotte sounds like an amazing cat...she was so lucky to have you. You are so strong and did right by her.
I am so sorry!
Sorry for your loss (((Jeff)))
I'm so sorry Jeff. You were blessed to have such a wonderful cat, and she blessed to have you.
Hugs, Bunny
VH,
That's just heartbreaking.
I'm so sorry.
Sorry, Jeff. Losing a beloved family pet is very hard.
Thanks and hugs to all of you. You don't know how much your support means to me.
I went golfing this afternoon with S20, it really helped me. I can think of Charlotte now, and not totally break down. I am going to miss her, I already do. But it was the best thing for her, and I have memories of a wonderful furry friend.
I was able to make it a month before having to add a new member to my family - I missed coming in to her unconditional love.
Chloe didn't replace Ernie.....just as with every child born, your heart just grows bigger to love them.
(((hugs)))
That's when I am really going to miss her, when I come in the door, and she isn't yelling for attention.
I am so tempted to get a couple kittens.... but I think I need to wait for a little while.
You'll know when it is right....
I'm getting better, still have my moments, though!
I'm at work, it's going to be a slow day.... don't know if that is good or bad!
I know any kitties I get will never be replacements, but they will be new and wonderful members of the family.
Got weepy a few minutes ago, remembered stroking her fur after she was gone....
Memories will pop up and make you smile and make you cry.
Time heals.
(((((Jeff)))))
Got home tonight from visiting my family (uncle passed away today) and there was a cat in my drive. As I pulled in I saw just off in the shadows a tiny black kitten. He looked so cute! He ran away before I got out of the car. Made me think of you. No the kitties in your future won't replace Charlotte but they will give you another opportunity to love and be loved.
((((((BobbiJo)))))
I wish he hadn't run! Though it would be a long drive to come get him!
I wonder if an Iowa cat relocated to Arizona would have an accent that the other Arizona cats would notice. As I remember, Tucson is known for its "Wildcats".
Quack!
Well, Charlotte was an English kitty! She stayed inside, so the other cats didn't get to hear her accent!
Getting a new kitty, or two will help. I have lost so many pets through the years. And the only thing that gets me through is holding the new little one.
I am looking forward to a new kitten or two. The house needs a good cleaning first, I think they would have way too much fun right now. But S20 told me today that his girlfriend will be here in two week! So there has to be some cleaning going on!
I am doing better... a little bit every day. So that's good, too!
Aha! I found you, finally. Now I have to go back and read all your posts. You've been so great to me, I want to repay the kindness if I have anything worthwhile to contribute
. Will be dropping by again later.
And I'm so sorry about Charlotte, too. I have had pets die in my arms and I've never gotten over it. They're the only ones who love you unconditionally and would rather be with you than anywhere else, no matter what.
(((Jeff)))
PS- My BFF's dog passed away a few months ago and she was debating whether to get another dog right away. I personally think if you want to, it's ok, and you'll also be saving a kitty- assuming it's from a shelter- that might not otherwise have a home. It's not like a people rebound-relationship- I don't think there has to be any guilt or any other similar emotion involved. Just 2 beings comforting and loving each other.
(((((Nikita)))))
Well... if you are going to read all my posts, it will take you a while! But the first post in every thread has a link to the previous thread... at least that wast he plan!
I guess I owe an update... but I don't have time right now! Hopefully later today!
Hugs to all of you!
(((((Michelle)))))
Good to see you here... for a quick stop, anyway! Hawaii very soon, yes?
Short update....
Doing a lot better. I miss Charlotte, but it's ok. I think there will be kittens, but I am not in a rush.
S20 and I have been wearing ourselves out on the golf course, before he leaves after next weekend. He is getting a lot better. I only just beat him yesterday, I am not sure I will many more times!
Went on a date Saturday night. It went pretty well. She was nervous, I think, laughing that nervous laugh. But she got better as the evening went on. She is small, 5'1", and slender. After we ate we went for a walk. I held her hand, and it felt so little! There was a kiss when I walked her to her car, and we are planning dinner for Wednesday. We've even texted a little today, just fun things. She is a third grade teacher, 46, with S17 and D13. She seems really nice, so we will see how it goes!
Time to get to work... hugs!
Hawaii Wednesday yes. Hell yes!!!
At work today and tomorrow. Picking up Roger from his trip to Portland tomorrow. Then we leave Wednesday morning.
I still miss my puppy dog. It's hard. It's the unfortunate part of life. We all die sometime.
As my xSIL's friend says, life is a sexually transmitted disease that is ultimately fatal.
But you always have the memories.
Cool about the date. She sounds very nice.
Sounds like a nice night out Jeff. Good to hear you are enjoying your time with S20 while he's home too.
Does your petite date golf? Not that it matters. The lady I am seeing does not golf but her S29 and S31 are both hooked. She has been asking me about lessons recently.
Have fun this Wednesday. I need to plan a Wednesday date myself.
Date with a teacher?? I like it.
Enjoy the golf for me, I have not found time to golf this summer. Only went once. Hoping for a mild fall so I can go some more...
Kittens are so cute, if only Nathan wasn't allergic...sigh!
Take care my friend. Enjoy the dinner date.
Hi Kerry! No, my petite date does not golf. I would love to end up with a woman that does, but it isn't required. But she will have to understand that I do!
((((((BobbiJo))))))
Golf in Tucson in the winter is the way to go! Just sayin'!
I am going to get a couple kittens, it's just a matter of timing!
I have another date on Thursday. Parallel isn't my usual method, but that's how it worked out. We will see what happens.
I have another date on Thursday. Parallel isn't my usual method, but that's how it worked out. We will see what happens.
I should think parallel is better than perpendicular...wouldn't want the two of them running into each other!
I know, bad math teacher joke....
Well done, (((((BobbiJo)))))!
I think parallel versus serial!
My ultimate goal is horizontal.
No kidding, Kerry!
Yo tambien, amigos, yo tambien...
Well, I had a very nice dinner. We walked a bit afterwards, an arm around her shoulder, her's around my waist... very nice.
And it was probably a good thing we were in a parking lot when we said goodbye!
Dinner with a dfferent woman tomorrow, still not thrilled at the timing, but it will be ok!
FUN FUN FUN!!!!!
Enjoy the buffet Jeff!
And it was probably a good thing we were in a parking lot when we said goodbye!
I know the situation - I even commented once... "what are others thinking as they walk by us" - to which she replied "Get A Room!"
Yes... getting a room seemed like a good plan, actually!
Date tonight.... ok, no sparks at all for me. It's hard to know what the difference is, but it's obvious when it's there! Like they say, I don't know what it is, but I know it when I see it!
Ick....
Got an email this morning from date from Saturday and Wednesday.
Seems that months ago she was dating a guy, he got laid off, and he had to move to work. Well, he is back in town...
In actual fact, it's a good thing, it's sad to see a potential relationship messed up by something like a layoff, so I am happy for her. Even told her so in my response. But the high road is a pain, sometimes!
On the other hand, she said that I was a good kisser, and a catch. Can I use that info as a reference in my profile?
Crap! I had some high hopes for the petite one and you. Back to the drawing board.
Maybe you should ask them to rate you on a star based system! Gee, that sounds like fun. Maybe even print up a survey. Gee I really need to go home because that sounds so funny.
kat
I know this is going to sound snarky so please forgive me in advance but I am actually curious as you seem to be a very good "dater"...
You went on two dates with Sat. and Wed. lady and you really felt upset that she is getting back with her old boyfriend?
I know that sounds awful and I certainly am not making light of how you might feel but I am just wondering how that all goes?
You do sound like a good catch!
(((((CG)))))
No, I wasn't upset! I am happy for her, for real! It's disappointing, for me, but it is really good! It seemed that there were possibilities. So it is disappointing. But I don't think I would call it upsetting.
Right.. I get that. I guess I was more just wondering how you (general you) go about seeing possibility after two dates?
I know this sounds very smart ass and I am actually really just trying to learn as I think there might be something fundamentally wrong with me!
Like what did you "see" that showed you possibility? Or what *could* you see after two dates?
I know this sounds awful but I am so amazed at how all of you are brave enough to make this transition. HELP me?!
(((((CG)))))
Maybe possibility is a little strong? But I see what you are saying.
It's a "problem" I have been thinking a little bit about lately. It's a issue with on-line dating in general. In "normal" dating, you see a person often, maybe almost every day, and you get to know a lot about them before there's anything like a date. So even by the time you date, you kind of know that this is a person you would like to spend time with. Sure, you might get surprised, but at least you have a clue.
On-line, it's different, in that all you have are some words and some picture to decide if you might be interested in dating a person. I do find that on the first date, it's usually pretty clear, early in the date even, whether both of you are interested in a second. (And I think it is usually mutual, although I am sure there are exceptions.)
After two dates, I'm not saying you are ready for an exclusive commitment, but I think you can often know whether you are interested in finding out. You know how they talk about their former spouse (if there was one). You find out how they talk about their kids. You get some idea of their priorities, and what they are doing with their life. On the less tangible side, you see their eyes, and their smile. You get a feeling even then of if you are comfortable with them. I guess that when I say there were possibilities, all of those different things seemed positive.
The trouble with dating like this is that the dates are the only time you see the person. It seems to me that it kind of compresses the whole "getting to know you" cycle. I mean, after the first date there was a more than a peck kiss, and after the second, a lot more than a peck. But it was clear that both of us were comfortable with that. On the one hand it seems quick, on the other hand, I don't know!
I hope that helps a little! Oh, these are not movie dates! It's dinner, hopefully somewhere reasonably quiet. The point is to talk, quite a bit!
And more thing... CG, I don't think there is anything wrong with you. I think there are probably as many ways to go about this as there are people doing it. Maybe more!
Thanks, Jeff, for putting all those thoughts out there for me!
I agree 110% there is no right way to do "this" (wouldn't it be GREAT if there was?!).
You just seem so open to the process and getting to know somebody and you seem to do it with great ease. I am in this mental trap of freaking out when I think too much then freaking out when I don't think too much. I am more prone to say YIKES this won't work because of ONE stupid thing rather than say WOW this might be very cool because of lots of good things.
I realize this is all my own doing and only I can put a stop to this ridiculous behavior but it's really challenging for me.
So what I am saying (if you can even keep up with all my BS, lol!) is that I admire you because you seem to be able to see the big picture of a person rather than honing in on one "red flag".
Like I wonder how somebody could think I am one way even though it is so NOT me. Then I realize, well, DUH, *let* them get to know you before you just run away because of one odd comment.
You and Kerry especially seem to just go with the flow. I would like to NOT freak out!
I dont kiss until the 8th to 10th date. I am concerned that hormones kicking in might confuse my judgement. Plus, I am a shy guy who is a bit nervous around someone I dont really know.
Kerry - that is shocking to me that you say you are a shy guy and nervous around new people.
I NEVER would have guessed that!
I am not shy per say but I do have a very low tolerance for what I deem annoying. It's horrible of me, I know. Because what I think is annoying probably isn't to a "normal" person. What makes me "freak out" is really just "normal" stuff.
You will get there, CG, in time! You are thoughtful, smart, look great in yellow... that's going to match just right with someone!
Just remember that a second date is a commitment to nothing more than a second date. And it's ok to pay attention to the "red flags" to some extent, you will often be right. I try to remember that on the first meeting we are both really nervous, whether it's showing or not. But if you decide to just enjoy that moment, not worrying about what it all means, I find you can usually get past that.
I dont kiss until the 8th to 10th date. I am concerned that hormones kicking in might confuse my judgement. Plus, I am a shy guy who is a bit nervous around someone I dont really know.
Hmmm, I don't approach it with a plan like that! Sometimes there might be a kiss, sometimes not. If I though too much about it my head might explode.
I do believe there are a good many ladies our age who are deterred from Jeff and I because we have kids still in our care. Most ladies my age already have their kids out of the house and are done with that part of their lives. If such a lady were to ever observe my kids fighting with each other, they would be high tailing it as fast as possible.
The lady I am seeing now has 29 and 31 year old sons. The 29 year old lives with her for the time being. She has yet to meet my kids.
I believe you are right about the kids, Kerry! I actually think that had a lot to do with what happened with the previous woman I was seeing. She expressed concern at being 5th. Those of us with kids know it isn't like that, those without don't always get that.
Thanks, Jeff. I do try and be thoughtful (and often fail) but I'm not so sure about the "smart" thing anymore
I feel like I learned a lifetime of lessons about marriage and long term R's but I know nothing about anything else that is my life NOW.
I have to do LOTS of thinking about work, finances and my health so I kind of don't want to think about anything else too hard. But I feel like if I stop thinking then little odd things slip by and then OH HELL I might be in too deep.
And really, I feel terribly sorry for the person that might actually have to deal with my insanity on an intimate level.
It's all kind of crazy. Kerry, your friend has a son that is just about my age!
My mom got remarried when she was 58. She was alone after her divorce for 13 years! I mean she wasn't unhappy but she really did things that SHE liked and I think for the most part really enjoyed the time. But she very much felt the same way - no children unless they were adult children.
I have another friend that has 3 teenagers and she also said under any circumstance she would not date a guy with young children.
For me I know it's a good possibility given my age that people I meet might have young children. It's a VERY overwhelming thought.
((((((CG))))))
And really, I feel terribly sorry for the person that might actually have to deal with my insanity on an intimate level.
OK, let's cut that out right there! I see the things you post, the thought you put into it. The caring you show. I have no reason to think that you would be any different in a relationship with a person that you cared about, and who cared about you!
You don't have to stop thinking, but overthinking is probably not the best way to go! Sometimes following your instincts isn't the worst thing in the world.
It's all kind of crazy. Kerry, your friend has a son that is just about my age!
My kids now have step brothers who are older than their mother. That is because their step dad just happens to be 2 weeks younger than my own mother.
Thanks!
I guess I mean that even if I care about somebody I still get VERY freaked out way too easy.
Like it's very easy for me to get FREAKED out by somebody who cares about me saying "relax, have a glass of wine and take a bubble bath". Nice, right? A thoughtful relaxing suggestion. In my mind I am thinking I hate bubble baths, sitting in a tub of scalding water is not relaxing and "me" is a Belvedere on the rocks with a twist so how on EARTH could *anybody* think making such a suggestion would be good for ME/
Well, I will tell you why - because when somebody gets too close (that is a boy) I push them away before they have the chance to learn that.
It's all very upsetting!
Kerry.... that's just creepy!
(((((CG)))))
Don't let it upset you! It's a learning process, in both directions! You are learning about them, and they are leaning about you! When they suggest the glass of wine, and bubble bath, you say, I think I will sit on the deck with a Belvedere on the rocks, with a twist! The next time, you would like to think they noticed and learned. If not, well, that's a clue, too!
Right - your logic prevails!
I guess that is what scares me - the learning process. I have to teach myself not to run like the hills during the learning process when one thing is put out there that is not me. Because maybe it's not THAT bad even though it's not ME.
I wonder if I would make a good nun?
(((((CG)))))
I know you like to learn.... this is just a different kind of learning!
Flaming Crazy Nun:
1 shot vodka
2 shots tequila
1 table spoon tabasco sauce
topped off with apple juice
mix it all together
it is crazy.
Well, I found that recipe the online, tablespoon and all! I think that would be a Flaming Dead Nun. I would try a shake of Tabasco, and work up from there!
Adding to the conversation re. dating...
One of my closest male friends and I have been talking a lot about dating. He just recently started dating again post-divorce. He often texts me, sometimes during dates even, to get my advice/take from a woman's perspective.
One thing I noticed is he is eager to fall for someone, to find real lasting love. He is afraid he will give his heart to someone and get hurt. Conversely, I just want to go out and have fun with a guy, laugh, talk, joke, etc. I want to ease back into dating. My kids are so young I don't want to settle down and have a serious R yet. I want a partner in crime, so to speak. Someone to go to football games, hiking, dinner, whatever with who I can laugh with and of course, I have to want to kiss him. My fear is the opposite of my friends--I am afraid I will find someone "too right" for me, who wants to be attached at the hip when I just want to have fun and live a little.
Does that make sense? So when we enter the dating pool there is always a chance a girl like me meets a guy like my friend, and vice versa. Two great people who are just looking for different things. Another time, another place, it may be a great pairing. Suppose that's why they say Timing Is Everything.
He often texts me, sometimes during dates even, to get my advice/take from a woman's perspective.
Did you tell him texting while on a date is rude?
--I am afraid I will find someone "too right" for me
<irony> Boy, wouldn't that just suck? LOL.
Well he doesn't do it in front of them! Guys go to the bathroom sometimes too, you know...
I know TH, it sounds weird that I don't want "Mr. Right". It's just that I dated one guy in HS for ten months. Then, I dated my ex in high school and that lasted 18 years! That's it, two guys/boyfriends, ever. I just want to go out and enjoy myself and take it slow and casual, I don't want to be married again a year from now--instant relationship. Not ready. But that doesn't mean I can't go out, does it?
Back to you, Jeff. What's new in your world? Sorry for hijacking but I find the discussion of dating very interesting and informative.
That's a good point, (((((BBJ))))).
It isn't the most organized pool!
And, yeah, texting during a date is probably not a great plan!
Interesting talk about dating, must go back and read more.
((((((Mystik)))))
Welcome! You never know what we might end up kicking around here... though it is certainly winding down now. There has been quite a bit of fun, food, and drink over the years. Drop in any time!
Hey Jeff,
There has been food and fun over the years. I was thinking the other day how amazing your thread was at a time when I was feeling like cr@p and not wanting to see or speak to rl people who didn't know what to do around me. To then come to this site (your thread in particular) and find people who knew what I was going through and providing great distraction to the misery I was feeling at the time. For that I will always be so thankful to you all.
How's the not drinking coke thing going?
(((((Julia)))))
You are always welcome here! I have been enjoying the pictures from your incredible adventure!
The not drinking Coke thing is still going! It's been 27 months, or something like that! I haven't had one!
27 months! High five Jeff!
Impressive with the coke...I go a few days at a time without a pop but then I fall off the wagon.
I remember so well all the virtual cookouts we've had...fajitas, key lime pie, delicious stuff! I still want to get together with you and our other DB friends and enjoy ourselves in real time.
(((((BobbiJo)))))
I won't have one, I'm afraid it would be too easy to fall off the wagon!
I do hope the lot of us can meet one day!
It's been a day....
S20 left for his college town this morning (to work, not go to school). Then this evening I came home to a truck in the driveway, and S22 moving out. I know he wanted to eventually, today a friend of his had a roommate bail, and now he's out. So, it is going to be really quite in the house now. It was too big before! I'd love to sell it, but that's going to have to wait until the market does some recovering, or I will take a serious beating!
I don't think it's bad... but it is going to be quiet around here!
That had to be hard....hope they are both not too far away. Will you have Sunday dinners or some other tradition to draw them back on a regular basis?
Well, S20 is about four hours away, he'll be back at school holidays (he is working for the dining service). I don't know about S22, I think he will drop in now and then... but he is itching to be independent.
Fortunately, I'll still have the little guys every other weekend, plus some.
And, once I get the house cleaned, I could have someone over without kids here. Of course there would have to BE a someone!
Look on the bright side...you still have S12 and S15 around.
I know about the silence. I am a bit of a loner so it is a bit of a break at times, even though I ultimately had desired a full family unit. The balance of kids here half the time and myself the other half seems to work out well.
I have heard about the terrible Arizona, California and Las Vegas real estate market. Your best bet is to probably just wait several years for future President Palin or DeMint or Bolton or ??? (R) to get financial things somewhat back to normal.
How are things looking for the Wildcats this season? We just keep having idiot Beavers and Ducks in the news...
Naked OSU football player squares up, cops tase him.Think about it...they tased a naked Beaver!
Another thought concerning Sponge Bob...Mr Krabs lives in "Bikini Bottom"..... Think about it
I am a loner as well, so some of the time it will be nice, I think.
I think the market will come back, given a bit of time. MAybe not back to crazy, but back. There is so little building going on around here now, I think the trick will be being prepared to sell when people are ready to buy again. I don't blame it on one party or the other, after all, the bottom fell out while W (R) was in the big house. Actually, I don't think the guy in the big house has as much to do with it as he (or she) would like to think.
I read about the Beaver getting tased, shook my head.
I think the PAC-10 is going to be nine teams separated by two games, and then Wazzu. The Cats should have offense, defense, maybe not so clear. But I don't think there have been any tasings!
The big guy in the big house does indeed not have much to do with the real estate market. Bailing out bad loans is another thing altoghter though. Doing some talking with a Las Vegas resident that follows it, I learned that many of the big hotels are in serious financial trouble. That and the lack of Lake Mead retaining water spells some serious problems for the SW in years to come.
Pac 10 (not counting the Cougars, Sun Devils and Bruins) should be very competitive. Ducks are favored, but most everyone enjoys a good Trojan beat down. Even those who have teams not in the Pac 10 enjoy seeing the Trojans faulter. It must suck being on top for so long!
I wonder if Tucson is going to be the future home for my Portland Beavers. You will have to change their name to something like the "Tucson Gila Monsters" or "Tucson Cactus" or "Tucson Tarantulas" or even the "Tucson Wildcats". The thought of no minor league baseball in Portland really gets my goat. Enjoy it - minor league baseball is a good deal and a lot of fun to watch!
The lack of water will probably get us in the end, though Tucson is better off than a lot of places. I just need a little bounce in the market first!
I don't think Tucson will be in the running for the Beavers. The Sidewinders left two years ago because they couldn't get stadium improvements, I don't see that changing, and I don't see anyone wanting to buy a team to bring them here. We do have an independent league team in town, playing at the older but better located of our two stadiums.
Just stopped by to say hi as you were so kind to stop by my thread.
I noticed something you wrote - once the house is cleaned. Am I to believe that you are still a clutterbug? - LOL!
As you may recall, I am an organization freak.
Jeff, you are stuck on this one. Get going. Now your two sons are gone. Perfect time to start. You'll feel good once its done. I promise.
(((((Brooklyn)))))
Yes, you may believe that I am a clutterbug... and the two older boys over the summer were worse. I have the kitchen glowing more than once...
I do recall your expertise at organization. Want to visit the desert?
I have started... there is a lot to do!
Tomorrow will be an interesting day. In the morning, I will be golfing with my former date. It's still a bit weird, but it should be fun. If nothing else it is at a nice course that I haven't played before. The bad part is that it's 45 minutes away, and we tee off at 650!
Tomorrow afternoon I am stepping out of the comfort zone. A couple friends at work, and a few of their friends, have an informal band...informal in that one of their mottos is "No Gigs". They play 70s and 80's covers mostly, a bit of a variety. Anyway, somehow I got invited to try to sing with them, their usual singer is not always available when they play. Anyway, I am going to give it a try tomorrow afternoon. If should be interesting, before my bout with Calley Fever (or whatever has messed up my lungs) it would have been a lot easier! But what the heck. Might even try to add something on the keyboard, though it has been a million years since I did such a thing. And maybe add some horns sometime so they can play Chicago.
Anyway, it's way out of the box!
Sing it Jeff! Colour my World by Chicago would be an easy song for you.
BTW... you and I were kids and teenagers during the greatest music period in history (late 60's and 70's). Kansas, Boston, Chicago, Zeppelin, Jethro Tull, Journey, Zappa, Queen, Heart, Pink Floyd, Black Sabbath, Skynard, Eagles, etc...
The 80's had some good stuff too, but like Homer Simpson says.. it is a scientific fact that rock music was perfected in 1973.
Here are some songs I would love to sing live:
Boston - A Man I'll Never BePaul Young - Every Time You Go Away"Eagles - Best of my Love
The song "A Man I'll Never Be" is not recommended for a guy to listen to while going through a divorce.
When I was going through the heartache, it was "Here Without You" by 3 Doors Down and Bob Dylan's "Blood on the Tracks" divorce album which brought tears to my eyes.
Hey Jeff! I liked your telephone voice, I am sure your singing voice will be great, too.
Have fun golfing!
I would love to do "Man I'll Never Be"! Heck, almost any Boston song, though trying to cover Brad Delp is pretty much impossible! They do "More than a Feeling" and "Hitch a Ride".
Their list has Black Sabbath, CCR, Deep Purple, Rush, Zep, BOC, Eagles, a gratuitous Beatles tune, you get the idea. They have no keyboarist, so some things are out. And how do you do Colour My World without a flute? If I can handle it, I want to get some Neil Young (maybe Hurricane?) and Journey. OK, one that is singable, and one that's impossible!
The problem with my voice... whatever it was ruined my range, and I always am on the edge of a cough. I am going to try to make it work though... it's one of those things that has sounded fun forever!
And thank you (((((((BobbiJo)))))). I liked your voice, too!
That sounds like a total blast Jeff!!! Have fun!
I'd pay to hear you do Black Sabbath....Ozzy forever!!! LOL
Before Kansas made it big, they lived in the house down the street from me. One of friends was actually in the band and then decided to go another route. I wonder if he has any regrets about that.
kat
Hope you are having a great Friday!!!
TGIF!
Sounds like some amazingly fun plans.
Whipped. I will try to post tomorrow! HUGS!
Alrighty then!
Yesterday, out of the house at 5:45 to golf with the former date. Had a good time, and quick lunch. Sounds like her "guy" is aware that she is golfing with a guy now and then... I didn't get a good feeling for how that's going over, but I did get the feeling that if he didn't like it, then he would be out. I don't think I expect that, though. I like the friend thing, though it is still weird.
Anyway, then I took care of getting a couple errands done, then stopped in at the pet store to pick up Charlotte's remains and pawprint. One of the pet charities had kittens there, so I had to look. There were about a dozen there, about ten that I wanted to take home! I petted kittens for about an hour, I expect. After I got cleaned up, I went to the band practice. It was great fun! And some things are really hard to sing! No one complained, so I guess I will go again next time.
Today I had to take S15 to football practice at 7, then went back to bed. Got up at a decent hour... called the little guys, and then picked then up. Took then to lunch, and then back to the pet store. Of course, we came home with two kittens! The boys are thrilled. They called mom, and she told them to spend the night here, I'll take them back over there tomorrow morning.
Now, for some reason, I'm tired!
HUGS!
What are the new kitties names? Mine were brother and sister so I named them Donny and Marie.
I am reminded quite often by my daughter about the need to get new cats.
Well, the names the adoption agency gave them are CJ and Coraline. We are debating giving them new names. They are siblings, CJ is black, Coraline is a torti. And they are both purr machines!
I already claimed Donny and Marie. But maybe there is another famous brother sister your could use...Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine.
Here is some more you might mention to the boys...
Lucy and Ricky
Sonny and Cher
Popeye and Olive Oil
Stud and Muffin
Lady and Tramp
Peanut and Butter
Zeus and Heres
Romeo and Juliet
Sugar and Spice
Jeckle and Hyde
Bonnie and Clyde
Jack and Jill
Cutie and Pie
George and Gracie
Sampson and Delilah
AC and DC
Minnie and Mickey
Strange cat name story...
When I was in my early 30's and my brother was going through his divorce, I moved in with him to help ends meet. He had a guest house in the back that he rented out. The renter was a loser and was not paying so we compelled him to move out. As he was taking his stuff and saying crap to us, my brother referred to him as a "dick head".
After the tenant was gone, we went to claim the stuff he did not take. There was a large wooden 70's style stereo which still worked. As we were carrying the heavy stereo between the small house and the big house, the tenants cat jumped on the stereo. We both looked at each other in surprise and my brother said..."It looks like we now also have a cat - what do we name it?" To which we both chimed in... "Dick Head". It was the fitting name for a tom cat that was now under the care of two wild and crazy polish bachelor brothers.
Dick Head was the coolest cat and looked just like your Charlotte. He would lay in the street and make our new tenant and neighbors drive around him. He allowed for our dog to take his entire head in her mouth until it was thoroughly drenched with dog drool. He would follow when I walked the dog several blocks down the street to the park.
My brother found a girlfriend that moved in with us. She did not like our cat which she referred to as "Dickey". He never cleaned himself, and when you petted him, dust would come off. He was the quintessential "John Belushi" reincarnated cat. She countered by getting a cute orange tabby female kitten which she named "Ginger".
The day came when "Ginger" went into heat. I remember it well...my brothers girlfriend and I were watching TV when all of a sudden "Dick Head" had an awakening - he had a purpose in life. He was now very interested in the young Ginger. My bothers girlfriend was none to happy about what might happen and told "Dickey" to back off. The next morning, she walked into the kitchen to witness "Dick Head" having his way with "Ginger". And that is how I got Donny and Marie. And Donny, even though he had his mom's color, definitely had his fathers "layed back" personality.
LOL!!!! That is a priceless story Kerry!!!!!
Your kittens are adorable.
I am sure they will become great friends with you.
Big hugs, kat
I soooo wish Nathan wasn't allergic so we could have kittens...
I so wish I had spare time to care for kittens.
I so wish I had spare time to care for kittens.
Seriously? When I had two cats, they played together. All I had to do was feed them and scoop the litter occasionally
I so wish I had spare time to care for kittens.
Seriously? When I had two cats, they played together. All I had to do was feed them and scoop the litter occasionally
Yeah! The only thing that takes time is petting them!
I so wish I had spare time to care for kittens.
Seriously? When I had two cats, they played together. All I had to do was feed them and scoop the litter occasionally
Yeah! The only thing that takes time is petting them!
Yep, and I found whenever I sat down to watch tv they would eagerly climb on my lap...not to mention sit on my head when I am sleeping!
As kittens, mine would attack my feet whenever I moved while sleeping.
If the kids and I ever do get new kittens, I will need to resist letting them outside - too many raccoons and coyotes in my neighborhood. I assume it is a given that cats are not let outside in the Tucson area considering all the dangerous spiders, reptiles, coyotes and "wildcats" in that urban area.
Hey Handsome,
I thought I would drop over to your place, since you have been very kind to talk me off the ledge a few times!
But, wow, 52 pages of posts. So I've learned you have great kids, are dating, have two new kitens, in a band, and it realy sounds like you have your act together -- I'm envious! What other highlights did I miss since I read the first 5 and last 5 pages!
Dagny
The highlights....
Well, I was dry_heat. There was a poster (she hasn't been around in a while) that took to calling me handsome... one day one of the mods had changed me to Virtually_Handsome.
I was "stuck" for a long time, I did everything I could (or that I knew how to do?) to try to get things to change, but in the end, it was only fear that was holding me back. Once I was able to get past that, things changed, and while I was disappointed in the result, I haven't looked back.
Over the years (my gosh, how long has it been?), my threads have ranged from awfully serious to totally frivolous, and I have made more than one really good friend, even getting to meet a few in the real world.
Lets see... if you went back to the right threads, you would find interesting discussions involving socks. And swimming the ocean, for that matter.
We've had BBQs, eaten cheesecake, and had plenty of margaritas.
I think that about covers it!
I hope you can visit regularly, though I find myself here a lot less often than I used to be!
((((((Dagny))))))
Oh Jeff, what a nice little trip down memory lane! There have been lots of fun, late nights on here. Although I notice we are around less and less....granted most of us who hung together are past the 'divorce busting' part of the process, but where else could we spend time together but here?
((((((BobbiJo))))))
You are one of those very good friends! And one that I hope to meet one of these days!
There were some amazing times. We might not have "succeeded" (well, other than Ali, and hopefully Kalni), but we all came out the other side better than we went in.
Wow! That was a great recap Jeff. What wonderful and sad times all at the same time. You talked me off a ledge more times than I can count!!! Thank you!!!
Getting to know everyone here has been a true blessing. Heck, I may know some of you all better than I do some of my RL friends. LOL!
So what is on your docket for this week? Golfing? Playing with the kitties? Going to rock?
Jeff mou, you forgot the vegetables corner...
I miss you guys. Ever since I installed my alarm system at home, my internet wont work and I only have time during work hours. Since work has been hectic with the changes and all, I try to read but dont post much. Lately I dont post on my thread much either. I feel like I am being a whinner (?).
Anyway, I will visit US in the next couple of years and my plan to meet some of you...
K
Hey Jeff - The Wildcats did a good job at Toledo and should have no problem next week against Citadel. It is the week after when they host Iowa that they will have their first big test. You and Bobbi Jo will surely have a little banter going on that one.
The high powered Ducks get to travel to play the Tennessee Volunteers for the first time ever next week. Even with LaMichael James playing in his first game of the year, I doubt it will be a 72 to 0 blowout like against New Mexico.
This year the Wildcats play the day after Thanksgiving at Autzen Stadium. I wonder if it will be a nail biter like last year.
Clearly, I need to start a new thread! But not tonight.
Starting from the back, I don't see Arizona beating the Ducks at Autzen. Not sure I see anyone beating them there! I do think the 'Cats could win 8 regular season games, counting the two "gimmies". Now that they know who their QB is, they actually could beat Iowa here, though in the scheme of things it is probably not very important. The PAC-10 schedule is a lot more important, I think.
I think the Vols could well lose to the Ducks. I don't they are in a bit of a down time at Rocky Top.
I spent most of the afternoon at the doctor's today. I have a really bad cough, and this morning I was really short of breath. He thinks I have pneumonia, and it is making my asthma (or Valley Fever damage, whichever it is) act up. I have a nice array of drugs to take, hopefully in a day or two I will be able to breath. He told me that if I feel the way I described this morning, I should call 911! I, of course, went to work for a little while, and then called the doctor's office.
Hopefully I will be healed by the 19th, which is the next band practice!
Actually I want to be healed by the weekend, because I have a tentative date with a woman I met Sunday afternoon. She is from Greece, though she has been in Canada and the US since the early 80's. But she has a accent that could easily melt me, and she is pretty and smart besides.
OK, time to take the codeine laced cough syrup, and hit the hay!
I had the codeine laced cough syrup a couple weeks ago. It did not do much for the cough. The anitbiotics may have helped as the cough is mostly gone. Backpacking this last long weekend was cough free.
The cough can be very annoying - especially when you are trying to talk.
Is the Greek lady a red head? I've heard it said (on here) that all red headed Greek ladies are actually witches.
Hey, Kerry! I have hear that about red headed Greek ladies! She isn't red headed though, more of a dark blonde. Speaking of talking, she just called, and we talked for most of an hour! I only coughed a few times. I think she talked me out of trying to go to work tomorrow. And I think she must like me a bit! She's a psychology professor, though she still sees patients as well. She is smart and inquisitive. And she has a 19 year old cat!
I don't know if the cough syrup does a thing for the cough, but it does put me out for a few hours. And that's a good thing.
Hey Handsome,
I'm glad they changed your name, I don't get to say that to my H, so I can say it in cyber-space. Get lots of rest, I had pneumonia twice, it is really draining and can hang around for a long time. Nothing to mess with.
Ms. Greek sounds very interesting, hope it goes well.
My boys had to fly back on Monday, they wanted to go see Boise State down in DC, for some reason they love Boise State (I think it is the blue field). But we are PSU fans, trying to do right in raising my kids.
Dagny
The hair color changes when we leave our country. We try to blend in...
(((((Dagny)))))
I will be resting today. I don't want this to get out of control. Just had a nice six hours of no coughing. Though I can still tell that my lungs are not working right at all. I may get to go for a chest e-ray today, I am not sure. The doc sounded like he was going to want it, but I think he might have heard enough to tell him what he needed to know. We shall see.
Boise State... I don't like VT, maybe Michael Vick splatter? But the idea that the expectation that they can beat VT (who I think will be shown to be over-rated), Oregon State, and a bunch of WAC teams and play for the championship doesn't work well for e. Though, if they get into the championship game, I'd be cheering for them. Please don't ask for logic to that!
(((((Kalni)))))
I could believe the hair color change! She seems like a really nice woman. And of course the accent, well, we know all about that! I actually thought she might be Greek when I saw her picture. And I was right! She's really smart, which I really like. We talked about everything from Parisians, and their attitude, to our cats! No expectations, no expectations...
Maybe now I can go back to sleep!
Well crap.
I just found out that my mom's twin brother, my favorite uncle, died this morning. He been really sick, for years really. And Going downhill the past couple weeks. So there's no big shock. In the other hand, I thought he might be too stubborn to die.
I'm sure he was ready, he was ready when I saw him almost two years ago. His body gave him all it had.
At work so no time but wanted to say...
*Sorry about your uncle. That stuff is hard, even if they have been sick and you know it is coming
*Ugh! Pneumonia! I hate that! Only had it a couple times but it really makes it hard to do much, besides sleep... ((Jeff))
*Glad you met the Greek lady. Enjoy! Nice that she is a cat lover too
(((((BobbbiJo)))))
Thanks for taking the time. It means a lot.
Jeff, Sorry to hear about your uncle. I have had so much going on the last 2 days, I haven't been reading up much. Hope you feel better.
(((((Jeff)))))
kat
(((((kat)))))
You have been having adventures of your own!
I know my friends are there. And that's a good thing!
Jeff,
Sorry for the loss of your Uncle. Even though it was somewhat expected, having lost a sibling myself, I know it is hard on your Mom - a twin at that. Thoughts and prayers with you and your family.
BA
Ugh. Sorry about your uncle. Definitely hard even when you know it's coming.
You are just having a rough week! Keep taking care of yourself, stay home a while longer. Your body needs the energy to fight this off.
Jeff, so sorry about the loss of your uncle. My thoughts and prayers are with your family.
Stay home and rest! No work!!! That's what sick time is for. Pneumonia is nothing to mess around with.
Sorry Jeff!
Take care of you,
xx
K
Sorry to hear about your favorite uncle passing.
I hope you are better soon.
Jeff, I'm sorry to hear about your uncle, keep taking care of yourself.
Dagny
Sorry to hear about your uncle.
Thanks to all of you. I means a a lot to me to know you are all there.
I just talked to my mom, and she sounded like she was doing pretty well. Better than I expected.
Here is a nice tribute:
http://www.allstatesugarbowl.org/site.php?pageID=19&newsID=223
That was really nice. What an amazing guy. No wonder he was a favorite.
. Bless you and your family.
What an amazing man, I'm sure you are very proud. And though I have only "known" you a short time, I already know you are an amazng man, too. You are in my thoguhts and prayers.
Dagny
(((((kat)))))(((((Dagny)))))
Yes, he was a good man. He had a way of seeing things, and then getting the right people together to make them happen.
And Dagny, you are making me blush!
Blushing is good. I bet Greek lady will like it.
Dagny
(((((Dagny)))))
Even though I have only met her once, I have a good feeling about the Greek lady. We shall see, eventually!
I slept a bit better last night, which was nice. I think I could go to work today, but I am not going to. I think I am at that place where I could push it, and end up worse. When I try to really breathe, actually, even just a good solid, not deep breath, I can tell my lungs are not right. So I will wait.
Here's another item about my uncle. To me, he was just "Uncle Mick", but he was also one of the grandfathers of the BCS, love it or hate it!
http://www.nola.com/sugarbowl/index.ssf/2010/09/mickey_holmes_put_the_sugar_bo.html
Your uncle has quite a legacy.
I would like to see somthing like an 8 team playoff replace the current BCS bowls of Rose, Sugar, Fiesta, and Orange. Just the fact that they have a special rule for Notre Dame makes me hurl.
I got my fingers crossed on the Greek lady for you!
I had a first meetup this morning at 7:30 with a nice lady (county risk management director). She and I had all the "ways you match" align on match.com which is a good start. I have another first meetup tomorrow for lunch with another lady (veterinarian/owner). There is a third lady (hardware engineer) that I have not asked yet if she wants to meet.
Hey Kerry. I think eventually there will be some kind of playoff. But it's going to be hard to get everyone on line for that. If he hadn't gotten sick, my uncle would have been in the middle of it, I think. He did have a way of bringing people together. The ND rule is a bit creepy, but they haven't been good enough to bring it into play lately!
Thanks for the crosses fingers. We seem to have a lot in common on the one hand, and yet we are not at all alike. Actually, it seems like a good kind of combination to me.
Good luck in your sampling of the buffet! All three of those sound like interesting possibilities.
Hey, could one of you explain that ND rule? I'm confused a little by it.
Selection of teams for the BCS bowls...
A set of rules is used to determine which teams compete in the BCS bowl games.
Certain teams are given automatic berths depending on their BCS ranking and conference, as follows:
- The top two teams are given automatic berths in the BCS National Championship Game.
- The champion of a BCS conference (ACC, Big 12, Big East, Big Ten, Pac-10, and SEC) is guaranteed an automatic BCS bowl bid.
- Independent Notre Dame receives an automatic berth if it finishes in the top eight.
- The highest-ranked champion of a non-BCS conference will receive an automatic berth if:
It is ranked in the top 12, or
Ranked in the top 16 and higher than at least one BC conference champion.
- No more than one such team from Conference USA, the Mid-American Conference, the Mountain West Conference, the Sun Belt Conference, and the Western Athletic Conference shall earn an automatic berth in any year. However, a second team from one of these conferences may qualify as a BCS at-large.
- No more than two teams from any one conference may receive berths in BCS games unless two non-champions from a BCS conference finish as the top two teams in the final BCS standings, in which case they will meet in the National Title Game while their conference champion will play in their conference's BCS bowl game.
- The third-ranked team will receive an automatic berth if it has not already received one, if it is a member of a BCS conference, and provided that its conference has not already earned two automatic berths, if there is room.
- If the third-ranked team did not require a berth using the previous provision, then the fourth-ranked team will receive an automatic berth if it has not already received one, if it is a member of a BCS conference, and provided that its conference has not already earned two automatic berths, if there is room.
Notre Dame gets into a BCS game if it ends ranked in the top 8 and has at least 9 wins in the season.
I just saw an article on ESPN about your uncles passing.
I bet he had the pleasure to meet various times with the late great Paul "Bear" Bryant and other coaching greats of the 1960s-70's.
Gotcha! Thanks! I didn't understand how ND fell into all of that. Why is it that they are the only independent? There must be other schools out there that aren't technically part of a conference. Just none with quite as storied a history as ND?
Yeah, Kerry. He knew all of the coaches and ADs from the 70s-90s. In a way the lifestyle he lived though that era is what killed him in the end. Too much travel, good food, good drink, and not enough exercise, etc. Throw in some bad genes, and probably a bit of bad luck, and there you go.
Mish, I don't think there are any other independents of consequence, though BYU just announced they are going that way. Penn State was the other big independent until they joined the Big-10 in 1990.
Mish, I don't think there are any other independents of consequence, though BYU just announced they are going that way. Penn State was the other big independent until they joined the Big-10 in 1990.
Wasn't the University of Miami also a major independent at one time?
Yes! Miami was the other one. I'd forgotten about them.
I knew Penn State had been one at one time. So BYU is going that direction????
BYU says they are going independent in football, they will be in a conference, I can't remember which, for everything else.
Notre Dame does it to keep their independent TV deal, I think. I think BYU is delusional if they expect anything like that.
Hey Handsome,
How are you feeling? Everything I've read about your uncle is amazing. And since college football is my favorite sport, I'm just awed by his accomplishments. I remember the Sugar Bowl when we won, pretty cool. Now it is making me very sad that I didn't use our tickets this weekend, but driving through the night to get to the game, I didn't think I could do it. Hopefully our youngster will stand up to Bama this weekend.
And, "sampling the buffet", yikes. Though I figure I have 2 years before I would be ready for that, so I gotta get active on Mission MILF.
Have fun with the Greek Lady. Can't wait to hear the details (I need to live vicariously through someone).
Dagny
(((((Dagny)))))
I am not better, but I am certainly not worse, either. I see the doc again tomorrow, we will see what he hears in the lungs.
What was the most impressive thing about my uncle was that he took his passion for sports and made a good living out of it. How many people really manage that?
The "buffet" can be a bit intimidating. I have found that the no expectations mantra is pretty useful. I have a feeling that you will be plenty MILFy when you are ready!
I am sure I will post more about the Greek Lady, too! Hopefully it will be good!
Well, the doc says I am not dead, but that I am not "out of the woods". He was/is taking this pretty seriously, said that his plan for last week was to keep me out of the hospital! He said my lungs were still tight, but improved. Had a chest x-ray which was clear. I see him again Tuesday.
But, in a case of silver lining... one of the women in his office teaches math at the community college in the evening. Somehow, while I was in the waiting room I ended up taking the algebra test she was working on, and mentioned that I had always kind of wanted to teach math at the community college. She jumped all over that, she was excited about seeing if they could use me! I think it would be fun, and, well, add to the checking account!
Oh, my prescription for the weekend is to watch football.
I still hope to sneak out for a little while tomorrow afternoon to see the Greek Lady!
Have a wonderful weekend Jeff but don't overdo anything. Your health is much more important!
Football all weekend sounds like a great plan. I'm having a hard time decided which games to watch and which to skip so that I actually get something accomplished today.
Football is overrated!
Jeff, I hope you are following doctor's orders and resting. And if you did ignore him and snuck out, how did it go??????
Dagny
I love Algebra! Not as much a fan of Trig and Calc, but I did love Algebra and Algebra II!
Hope you rested up, your health is not something to mess with!!
I went to a Luau tonight and they had a big screen tv out on the deck so we could watch football. Caught some Oregon, some Alabama and a few other games as well...
Faint.....Thump!
BLASPHEMY!
Had football been aroung in 1789, it would have been written into one of the Articles of the Constitution.
Greatest game ever.
Name another sport where the coach has as much input into the outcome of a game.
This is coming from a computer geek guy who ran track and cross country.
Hey!
I pretty much obeyed, I did go out to find some food.
I am quite a bit better tonight. Mu lungs are not right, but I can tell that they are a lot better. I watched a fair amount of football. saw the end of the ND-Michigan game, good old defensive fold by both teams at the end. Enough of PSU-Bama to know that only one of them is a title contender. Surprisingly, Arizona is a bit better than Citadel. And I was amused that JMU beat VaTech. Supports my theory that Tech was way overrated.
If I still feel better tomorrow, I am going to cheat, and spend some time with Greek Lady. It should be a lot less strenuous than golf!
I even managed to clean the kitchen, again! And this time, it's only my fault if it falls apart. I also worked in the family room while I was watching the Wildcats... it seems that the two boys who supposedly don't live here at all (the older two) have managed to leave quite a bit of evidence of their presence! I think I will just bag it and put it in their room. The more disappointing room is the guest room, where S22 was squatting. He managed to turn it into a mini his room. And then leave it a mess. The good thing is that I am learning what mistakes to not make in the future!
Faint.....Thump!
BLASPHEMY!
Had football been aroung in 1789, it would have been written into one of the Articles of the Constitution.
Greatest game ever.
I'm just bitter that 2 games into the season and I'm already saying, wait until next year! I love college footall more than any other sport!
Meh... Greek Lady says we are not a match. Imagine that!
On the other hand, I think I am still mending. Slower than I would have liked, but better than dead!
Sorry about the news on the Greek lady, but better to hear this sooner rather than later.
Glad to hear you're beating the pneumonia bug though!
BA
Sorry Jeff.
I got an email last night from one of the ladies I met last week saying that the connection was not there. I already knew that since I was not following up with either of the 2 ladies I met.
She must not be a real Greek Jeff...
xxx
K
Sorry about that Jeff but at least you had a nice time together, right? That's always fun.
Glad to hear you are on the mend. That is one heck of a scary bug you have there!
Hey Handsome,
Sorry the Greek Lady was a bust, her loss. Take your time mending...don't push it...(I love that I can nag people virtually, gives me something to do). Seriously, take it easy.
Dagny
Yeah, I guess she wasn't a real Greek! She sure sounded like one!
The mending continues, the doc says we can see the edge of the woods from here. He has a couple of close experiences with asthma treated by others that he has known, or in relatives, so he takes it really seriously. I feel like I am at 80%, if I was starting here I probably wouldn't even be concerned. He wants to see me next week, just to make sure I am over it.
I need to think of a thread title... any ideas?
How about Get to Know Me...You Won't Regret It? No and the "?" is not in the title of the thread.
It just sounds positive and that is how I see you.
kat
I need to think of a thread title... any ideas?
Well, if you are going to stick with the "mena ja trois" theme, the next line is
Where the kisses are hers and hers and his, Three's Company, too.How about something a bit more gloomy...
Countdown to the Big Five-OLess than 3 months away! Come on in - the water is fine.
Decisions, decisions....
I don't know that I had thought the whole Three's Company thing through when I started it!
You had to point out how close 50 is, didn't you! Though I find it bothers me less than it seems to bother a lot of people.
Perhaps, "Take a Step that is New".
Us guys probably take the turning 50 better than the ladies. I asked a lady last week that I met how that 50 thing was working out for her - she said that she did not know whether to be angry or laugh at me for asking such a thing. For instance, if we start counting down days before 50 for Kat727 or Dagny-2, they will not be too thrilled.
I kinda like the 50 thing. Last night when going to pay at Sweet Tomatoes, the cashier asked "what are the ages?". I instantly said 50, 9 and 8. She laughed and said she only needed the kids ages. I get no discount!
The Orleans hotel in Las Vegas and its sister properties have
Young at Heart free promotions for seniors 50 and over. I signed up and got the senior sticker on the card just because it was my first time being classified as a senior citizen.
Have you started looking around at retirement communities yet?
You know, it's funny. If the market turns, and I can sell my noose, I mean house, I might well look at some of the retirement communities around here. A lot of them are on golf courses!
You are darn tooting that you better not start my countdown yet!! I think 49 will be harder just as 39 was. Of course if I have a party or something it will make it better.
. I am just now getting used to 46... don't rush me.
kat
You know, it's funny. If the market turns, and I can sell my noose, I mean house, I might well look at some of the retirement communities around here. A lot of them are on golf courses!
Exactly! The neighborhood 9 hole course I play at a lot is a 55 and over neighborhood. But when I turn 55, I will have an S15 and D13 which would disqualify me from having a house on that course so as to get the free golf balls that go out of bounds into my yard.
Well, it also saves the broken windows!
I don't know what the rules are about part time kids... I haven't had enough reason to look into it yet!
I've not hit any windows yet! I did hit a roof, but the ball bounced off and back into the fairway.
I thinned a shot out of a bunker that line-drived across the green and hit an old ladies metal patio table - making a lot of noise. She came out and said that was the first time she had been home when her house got hit. She was cool about it and I was rather embarrased.
Now look at Kerry hitting (quite literally) on the older ladies!!
kat
It was too good to resist. You just laid it out there and someone had to pick it up. Pretty sharp for 46 huh?
kat
My son and I use the term "back yarded". Though now and then, we think it may be "front yarded".
The noise is sometimes quite... loud!
I agree--the 9s are worse than the 0s -- I think it is the anticipation of being done with a decade, but when you hit the new one, you get a whole new 10 years. Though a senior at 50, good grief!
But don't know about men handling it better, my H was a basket case at the end of his 30s and now, we always celebrated his "1/2" birthdays, because regular birthdays were so hard. I'm sure that should have been a sign!
Dagny
I've always been a bit "different". Eighteen, 21, 30, 40... really, no big deal for me. I might be strange!
Celebrating 1/2 year birthdays? Sounds like your H is in MLC.
My best birthday was probably 11. I got a Laugh-In "sock it to me shirt" and all the neighborhood kids pounded on me.
There was one birthday (maybe 34 or 35) that I forgot about until I bought a Washington State fishing license that morning - the clerk said "happy birthday" and I was like "No Sh!t"!
My family has always made big deals about birthday. Maybe a bigger deal with my Da's and mine because we are 5 days apart. My Mom and brother could care less but my dad and I always tried to make their's big too.
I have carried that on as the boys are 3 years and 3 days apart. My youngest is 13 days after me and no way am I not making a big deal out of D11's just because it is out there by itself. lol Actually she shares her birthday with my favorite Aunt. Makes it a really special day as well because it was a day my Grandmother and I shared. We don't do anything with my Aunt but each one gets to pick where they want to go, which movie, where to eat...that sort of thing. Everyone needs to be the King or Queen on their birthday.
kat
Hey Handsome, are you feeling better yet?
Dagny
(((((Dagny)))))
I am feeling a little better every day. I went golfing today. Very poorly, but I felt better. They were getting the course ready for winter reseeding, so it was bone dry, hardly any grass on the greens, but cheap.
This after I got back the little guys and I played Rock Band for a while, it seems that I may have a voice to use Sunday at band practice.
Last night S15' football team (the JV team) lost 47-0. It was pretty hard to watch. The good thing is that he played a lot.
I hope you all have a great weekend!
Go Foles, Grigsby, Criner and the rest of the Wildcats!
I'm sure you are aware of the fact that your coach (Mike Stoops) was an All-American safety for the Hawkeyes back in 1984.
PS...Your defense might want to keep the focus on Adam Robinson.
Glad you are on the mend, Jeff.
Jeff,
I've always been a bit "different". Eighteen, 21, 30, 40... really, no big deal for me. I might be strange!
I'm with you on this, for sure!
Peace,
Glad you are feeling better!
Don't over do it. Glad you are feeling better because it is awful feeling sick.
hugs, kat