How far do you bend? - 06/21/09 12:21 AM
As I have stated before in the past, my exH likes to be in control of things. And, even though we have been divorced for almost 2 years and both of us have gotten married, he still tries to control situations concerning the kids. I am just wondering, how far do you "bend" in order to peacefully co-parent?
Here's the latest:
My exH has had our D15 and our S12 for the past week (according to our custody agreement, he gets the kids for one week during the summer). About 2 weeks before they went to stay with him, I sent him an email explaining to him that D15 has a week-long educational event at a nearby university. I told him I needed to know if it would be ok for her to go. I explained to him all the details, including the fact that she would need to leave for the university on the afternoon of Father's Day. I never got a response from him; but, through D15, I learned that he had said it would be ok for her to go and that he would take her.
Right after he got the kids for his week, D15 and I realized that there were some things she would need to get from me before going to the university. I told her that I would be willing to meet her and exH somewhere so that she could get these items. Up until today, that has been the plan.
This morning while talking to D15, she said that exH had said that when we meet tomorrow that he was going to let me go ahead and pick up S12 to bring him back home with me, rather than exH bringing him home later in the evening. (Cool!) But, not long after we got off the phone, D15 said exH started fussing at her and told her that he was not going to meet me anywhere. That I would have to go to HIS house to give her the things that she needs.
I refuse to do this.
ExH told D15 to have me call him when he finished watching a movie. How was I supposed to know when his movie was over? I had plans for this afternoon and evening, so I called him right then. He refused to speak to me....said he was busy and would call me later. He did, when I was at one of my events. I have yet to speak to him and at this point, I am not calling him back.
I have told D15 what I am willing to do and what I am not willing to do. I do not believe in a$$-kissing and am tired of him trying to have control of every situation that he thinks he can manipulate. D15 WILL get the items that she needs, but it won't be by me going to his house.
So, again, my question is: How far do you bend to peacefully co-parent?
Deb
Here's the latest:
My exH has had our D15 and our S12 for the past week (according to our custody agreement, he gets the kids for one week during the summer). About 2 weeks before they went to stay with him, I sent him an email explaining to him that D15 has a week-long educational event at a nearby university. I told him I needed to know if it would be ok for her to go. I explained to him all the details, including the fact that she would need to leave for the university on the afternoon of Father's Day. I never got a response from him; but, through D15, I learned that he had said it would be ok for her to go and that he would take her.
Right after he got the kids for his week, D15 and I realized that there were some things she would need to get from me before going to the university. I told her that I would be willing to meet her and exH somewhere so that she could get these items. Up until today, that has been the plan.
This morning while talking to D15, she said that exH had said that when we meet tomorrow that he was going to let me go ahead and pick up S12 to bring him back home with me, rather than exH bringing him home later in the evening. (Cool!) But, not long after we got off the phone, D15 said exH started fussing at her and told her that he was not going to meet me anywhere. That I would have to go to HIS house to give her the things that she needs.
I refuse to do this.
ExH told D15 to have me call him when he finished watching a movie. How was I supposed to know when his movie was over? I had plans for this afternoon and evening, so I called him right then. He refused to speak to me....said he was busy and would call me later. He did, when I was at one of my events. I have yet to speak to him and at this point, I am not calling him back.
I have told D15 what I am willing to do and what I am not willing to do. I do not believe in a$$-kissing and am tired of him trying to have control of every situation that he thinks he can manipulate. D15 WILL get the items that she needs, but it won't be by me going to his house.
So, again, my question is: How far do you bend to peacefully co-parent?
Deb