Checking in on old friends - DivorceBusting.com

I haven't been a regular poster in three years maybe four but here I am on a long business trip and feeling lonely. Thought I would check in on all my old friends.

So how is life four years after your divorce is final? Better but still not over everything. I sill think of the hurt each and every day. Doesn't matter that I'm engaged and very much in love. I still have the hurt to live with. Some days I'll be driving home and think "Wow I didn't think of the X all day today". Then it dawns on me that I just did! Darn it!

Well I'm still moving forward but holding off on the wedding until I feel more ready. I don't want to mess this new life up.

On the pat me on the back side of things - some of you may remember that I went back to college a few years back. I graduate on March 30...yeah me!

On the isn't that funny side of things - my x is now 53 years old and his wife (she'll always be the mistress to me) just had a baby! So at 53 he's back to changing diapers! Man that is something I would not want to do.

Gigi

Yo little lady!

Longtime no talkie..ha! Congrats on the degree.

Hey if something happens to her will you step in as the wicked Mother?

xoxoxoxo

WOW, I can't believe you got your degree!!! It seems like just last week you started back to school!!! YAY YOU!!!

We miss you and your wonderful stories and sense of humor around here. Don't be a stranger, OK?

Hi MSF:

Congratulations on your upcoming graduation! I am so happy for you. How are your kids doing? How is your fiancee doing?

I am so sorry to hear that you are still hurting... Your x doesn't even deserve you thinking of him.

I have no answers for you. Other than that disaster of a first post D relationship - I haven't even dated in 5 years - so clearly I am no expert...

You deserve the very best in life. I hope you can find a way to make the hurt go away...

take care,
AG (almostgone, Nish)

Hey G!!!!

Am I good or am I good??

Hey Gigi,

Congrats on your upcoming graduation! That is just awesome.

Quote:

On the isn't that funny side of things - my x is now 53 years old and his wife (she'll always be the mistress to me) just had a baby! So at 53 he's back to changing diapers! Man that is something I would not want to do.

What is up with these guys? My X, three days after our youngest graduated, announced to the world that he and his new little wifey are having not one but two babies by the end of the year. I just sit back and laugh knowing he is seriously freaking out about it all.

Take care and tell Rob I said Hiya.

~ swl

Hey GG!!

Congrats on your grad! way to go girly!

Hey my son was in your home state this last weekend, he had a blast! and his dad got to play 23 yr old w/ him, which he does well! lol

Hope you and the kids and R are doing well Don't know about you but I am ready for this heat to go away!!

Keep in touch!!

Hey Gigi! Long time no hear lol.

I'm happy that things are going well for you. As for the ex. well we won't ever be able to forget what they did. I tell mine, "I'll get past what you did but I'll never get over it." And it's so very true for me.

Congrats on your soon to be graduation! I know you must be really proud of yourself and I'm sure R is too.

Stick around and let us know what's going on with you guys...we miss you!

SE

GO YANKEES!!! Ok, just had to say it lol.

q - I promise to be around from time to time. Besides aren't all you guys going to come out for the wedding? When that wedding will be is the question! $;\)$

Gigi

AG,

The kids are good. My D28 and her husband had their first baby last year. She's a real sweetie.

S23 how was living in Baltimore is now back in Boston. Shares an apartment with a bunch of single guys - working three part time jobs and just enjoying life. Not what I would have hoped for him but he seems happy.

S20 (yep the little guy is all grown up now) is madly in love and wants to get married. Problem is he can't even figure out how to pay me room and board much less afford to get married! He's in for a real reality check - soon!

R is really good. We have our ups and downs just like any other couple but you work them out and move on. We love each other very much, support each other in all we do and support each other still working on our divorce recoveries.

So how are you? I looked up some of your thread and see that things are going well. Are you still working on your own or are you back with a firm?

Five years no dates!! Wow has it really been that long? Time really flies by doesn't it!

By the way I still have my baby blue Tbird!

Gigi

Your more then good - your the best!

Gigi

I haven't talked to my sweetie much since I've been on the road, that time difference really messes things up! But I'm sure he'd want to say HI.

Yeah, x's having new families - they did such a good job the first time they have to do it again!!

Gigi

Thank you for the congrats from everyone. It hasn't been easy. I've been working full time and taking classes at the rate equal to a full time student. But it's already paying off. The company I work for is owned by this massive company on the NYSE. Once I have the piece of paper, I'm feeling there could be a long term career with them.

I never thought I'd ever have to build a career and support myself but here I am! I went from being a pampered wife who only worked because I felt like having a challenge. I spent more time as a volunteer than anything else. It's strange how live throws all these twists and turns at you. You have to be prepared for anything.

Gigi

Gigi

GO Yankees! Well, we now know your a true fan rather than just one who jumps on the band wagon.

Oh yeah, Thanks for your manager - the Dodgers are now the ones in the playoffs aren't they!!

Gigi

Hi Gigi!

It's great to hear from you. I just saw your thread now or I would have responded earlier.

Congratulations on your graduation. I know it hasn't been easy for you. But you've definitely earned it.

I'm glad that things are working out for you and Rob. You guys are one of the nicest couples that I know. Say hi to him for me, ok? D & I are actually coming to LA for one of our quickie visits on Oct 10-13. I'm bringing Melanie with me. I don't know if you remember her or not, but she's 17 already! I can't believe that your Alex is 20. Wow! Time goes by so quickly.

Please say hi to Alex and Laura for me. Take care and keep in touch.

Leenie

Hi MSF:

Sounds like all the things in your life are going so well. I am happy for you. You really do deserve it.

I suppose the only challenge is exorcising your X from your head. I cannot imagine his mistress being able to compare with you. He married a child and had a child with a child. You are such an intelligent and together woman - I am quite sure he misses an R with an adult - and if he were able to allow his brain to go there - I think he would miss you. He is so far into that ridiculous R - he is now stuck. I don't think he can even allow himself to think about what he walked away from and his life with you.

I hope you are at a point where you can believe in your heart that this was not about you.

And that change in life's infrastructure part is tough. That one was tough for me. That is probably why I haven't dated - i am afraid of another R destroying this infrastructure that I have rebuilt. Sometimes I think if you delay dating for too long - perhaps I have started harboring some unrealistic expectations...

I am just guessing at reasons why your X is still in your head - hoping one of them makes you feel better.

I still have my own firm. I love the independence. But also struggle with the lack of a predictable salary. I am getting better at trying to turn off the work stress so I can focus on getting more of a life.

Quote:

By the way I still have my baby blue Tbird!

I will probably be in CA sometime in February - I want a ride! I still have fond memories of our last photo-shoot with that car you rented when you were here.

Take care of yourself MSF. You deserve the best that life has to offer.

take care,
AG

OMG!!! Gigi $\:\)$ I almost missed this post. I am so happy for you....congrats on the degree!!! How's R2??? I will never, ever forget him driving cross country and breaking down....that seems like a lifetime ago. That weekend was pretty memorable.

Hey...better your ex than us changing diapers at this time in life, no? I almost never really think of the ex any longer. Some of the stories I hear about him make me just want to scratch my head and think "dufus!!"

Life is absolutely dandy here. I moved into the Columbus area about a year ago for a number of reasons and am in one wonderful R. Not married, not considering at this time because of the distance. (He's still in Dayton...you know that pesky little thing called employment.) My eldest just graduated with her PhD and is teaching at UNLV, another just graduated with her BFA, one left in college, another still sort of figuring life out.

L - If you two are going to be in town then we certainly want to work out a fast visit. Maybe we can just meet up for a meal or something. Can't believe your D is 17! Time does fly!

Gigi

Wow what a great job you have done giving your kids the educational foundation they need! You should be very very proud of that.

My kids on the other hand don't seem to want that. D28 is still three classes short of her BA. She continues to take classes on line here and there but isn't really motivated. S23 dropped out of the AA program he was in. Is one class, yes I said one class, short of an AA in pre engineering. He is certified as a BMW mechanic and as an Audi mechanic but instead of the dealerships is working at some neighborhood garage part time. He says that's all he wants in life so I keep my opinions to myself. S20 is dropping out of school in January to work full time. I'm hopping the experience will teach him how tough life really is. We'll see!

Gigi

Gigi...your kids sound like they're just normal kids. Your D married, right? That might throw things off track for a bit for her maybe. When you're as young as they are, and I was there myself for a long time--heh, went to college while raising kids/married--it's really hard to "know" who you are and what you really want. Just a crapshoot at times it seems for them.

My 3rd D is still out there, sort of figuring things out as she goes too. Dropped out of school, moved around a bit, etc. She's sort of in a streak where she's not talking to me right now...not sure what that's about yet but eventually we'll figure out I suppose.

School for my kids I think was a refuge from all the craziness. They all went away for school except D3. So who knows about what foundation they have except for education LOL. I sort of worry that school was too big of an emphasis and whether they can really "deal" with the real world, particularly the oldest who would shove her nose in books and retreat at times. Not that's a bad thing...it's good she's studious (sp?), but it goes back to the idea of book learning vs. real-life experience too.

Hope all is well in your neck of the woods...I swore last night I was staying away from here, but I noticed this as I was logging off and had to wiz by to say HI $\:\)$ Keep in touch....I lost your email/Rob's email a long time ago with some computer problems. I'll stumble across it though another way.

[quote=mastateflower]GO Yankees! Well, we now know your a true fan rather than just one who jumps on the band wagon.

Oh yeah, I'm a life long fan and that won't ever change. Even though I was mad that they let Joe Torre go. They lost a gem.

Oh yeah, Thanks for your manager - the Dodgers are now the ones in the playoffs aren't they!!

Our huge loss, your huge gain. $\:\($ Joe's the man! /quote]

SE

Hey SE
Quote much? $\:\)$

is there a ghost in the machine around here???

Keyzblue, (still want to say bluekeyz!)

You make an excellent point regarding book learning and real world experience. I have meet my share of people who have many degrees but have the common sense of a fly! Guess I need to remind myself that the kids will be fine, the kids will be fine, the kids......

Gigi

SE,

After watching the last two Dodger games, your comment about Joe T. sure is right on track! As a manager this guy will go down as one of the all time best!

Gigi

Call whatever you wish lol...we all had nun monikers at one time too.

Seems no matter what our offspring will clearly take their own paths in life. Hope all's well there in Cali.