Well, I started decorating for Halloween today.
This will be the first Halloween ever that I will not have my children with me to go Trick or treating.
I think I started to mourn it already.
I get dressed up with them every year, and really make it a big deal.
I at least will do the school activities them with them that day, so I will look forward to that.
The last few weeks have been busy, busy, busy. School schedules, after school activity schedules. Time flies I tell ya.
These past few weeks have also been pretty amazing. My beautiful son has really been opening up to his dad. My son sent his dad an email.
It was heartbreaking. I debated copying and pasting, it, just b/c I am so proud of how he opened up. It is personal to him. You just can imagine what it said.
Things like, Don't you know that I need you in my life everyday? Can't you see that you spend more time with children that are not even your own, than my sister and I? so on and so forth.
The reply he received, well would wanna make you trip the X if you saw him walking down the street.
Things like, I am happier now, I wish you could see things thru adult eyes.
He did also say how he loved them more than anything in the world and how much he hurt that he was not able to be in their lives every day.
I broke down crying when i
I read the reply.
NOt b/c of the shock of his reply, but b/c I knew my son would be hurt. He said to me, "Mom I am so happy that he even replied, but papi lives in a fake world."
I have told the kids numerous times that their father left ME. Not them.
My son said we are a package, if he left you, he left us too.
My kids are amazing, and hurting, and healing. The laughter is more than the tears finally. I hope it will forever continue that way. For the most part, we have more ups than downs.
Life is busy. Life is good. Life still stops me in my tracks somedays, and I cry.
It does not consume me, and that is the key for me.
I play are you smarter than a fifth grader every day, but the game show in my house is , Are you smarter than a FOURTH grader?
WHA?
I have to google the homework. I am stumped at times.
Hey at least I am learning.
Taking a break from Zumba to do some boxing work outs.
Thanks for always checking up on me peeps.
Luv yiz.
The Bar is open!
Mimosa please. I'm first. And I'll be back.
Barb
YOWZA!!!
Martini, please!!!!
Dammit!!!!
OK, first of all, I love your son to pieces!!! He is so smart, sweet and loyal.
Lis, you're doing great and getting stronger all the time.
So, whatcha want me to hum for ya?
Wow Lissie,
For his young age, you son really "GETS IT". I admire him for saying the truth to his dad. I also feel so sad for him.
Do everything in the next month that you can for your kids. You can go to Halloween parties or pumpkin patches and just soak up the holiday on a day other that "THE DAY". I think that will help a lot, don't you. Or host a Halloween party for your kids a week ahead. I used to do that. We even created a Haunted House in our basement. It was incredible! In fact - we did that more than once.
You are a fab mom. Your kiddies know it. Keep on enjoying those babes!
Barb
I'll have some hot chocolate.
Your poor babe.....my son is in 8th, and he has been in the same tough spot. But he wants his dad to be happy. His dad put the hard sell on him about how the gf didn't have anything to do with it, and that he moved on, this is how it has to be, he is happy now, etc And I am letting it all lie, now. Their relationship has to be between them.
That is the hardest thing to go through - watching what these people put our kids through, and for what?
****
I love the idea of hosting a party!!! You are right, there are so many other opportunities to wear our costumes!!! And apple picking, pumpkin picking....
those kids
that is all i can say
because the thug in me comes out
and
then you would have to parent a lot more kids than your own
but
hey
maybe i could get transfered to the prison there
i imagine their suits are a step up fashion wise than here
and
my hair looks like garth
so
party on wayne
ugh
and
shut it
because i need a drink already
damn wings
Hi Jilly thank you!
Barb Fall is my favorite time of year. Yes I will enjoy as many activities as I can with them. Thank you for your suggestions.
Donna, you said
Your poor babe.....my son is in 8th, and he has been in the same tough spot. But he wants his dad to be happy. His dad put the hard sell on him about how the gf didn't have anything to do with it, and that he moved on, this is how it has to be, he is happy now, etc And I am letting it all lie, now. Their relationship has to be between them.
I for a long time kept up with the X's shenanigans, telling my kids that papi was not here b/c he moved closer to work (he told the kids that) so I really didn't know any better. I thought he was coming back home.
Then when I found out the truth, that he was with someone else and that he was not coming back he was just being a coward and lying.
Then I finally with as much age appropriateness as possible. Told my children the truth.
Told them what their father is doing is wrong. I let them then lead with any questions, and many did come.
I never stopped validating them and always told them that their dad loved them so very much. I let them know that we all make mistakes and we have to try to do our best.
They love him very much, and are super happy when he comes to get them, and I really do love that they love him so much. B/c I am sure that one day he will end up a lonely old man if he keeps all this crap up.
Many questions did come from them about my behavior also, and I was very candid keeping their age in mind, and keeping an open dialouge with the therapist also, on how to handle this.
I did not want my son to think that what his father was doing was ok. As long as he is happy type of crap.
My parents were very open and honest with us and instilled the value of morals on my siblings and I. I will continue that with my children.
Thank you for passing by Donna. Hot chocolate it is. That does sound yum.
Donna,
"His dad put the hard sell on him about how the gf didn't have anything to do with it"
This IS NOT a hard sell. The A, the R with GF is a RESULT of the problems in your R. Quit trying to lay it on their R. For your own sake AND your kids, let go of that. Your M ended because it did not work for X. Nor did it work for you, as you are getting closer to finding. It was a sick and limiting R. That is why it ended. That is why X's R with GF started. X took advantage of a vulnerable woman (GF) to make his transition easier, but it was not the cause of the transition.
OT,
I'm not sure what point you are trying to get across. I may be interpreting your thoughts wrong, but it seems to me that you are saying that she should not tell her kids that Daddy left Mom for OW. I have to disagree, I believe Donna and is doing the right thing. She does not want her children to believe that it is okay to have a GF/BF while married to another. She is instilling morals in them, not trying to beat her husband down.
This is an excerpt from an article that I just read on infidelity. It was talking about values and infidelity.
"The article also points to a person's role models -- usually their parents -- as an influence. If the parents cheated or seemed to accept infidelity, the lesson their child learned might be that it's not that big a deal. And that could carry over to the child's adult life."
In my H's case, not only did his father cheat, but also his maternal grandfather and paternal grandfather. Could this have had any bearing on my H's infidelity? I'm not sure, but I don't want my children thinking infidelity is acceptable.
OT, I know that there are differing viewpoints on whether the children should be told about the infidelity. I believe they should be told age appropriate things about why their parent left.
Yoyo
Wow Lissie what a smart son you have. He is well on his way to becoming an outstanding young man. He gets it..you must be very proud..
Well Sweetie,
You can imagine what a lump this post has left in my throat! What an amazing child! Somehow I was surprised by the response? Why? I guess I still have this fantasy that when we put our hearts on the line our words will be received as they were meant. Stupid me! Guess you will have to work double duty in the love department but that won't be any problem for you.
I am like you Lis in that I love Fall. Somehow it makes me feel like everything is about to start over and also I have great memories from childhood. So get those decorations up and make it as special as it has always been for them. No doubt things have and will change but you are their constant, their rock.
Love you Sweetie and hug the kids for me!
Bethie (send candy!)
Yoyo,
I understood that Donna's X was trying to tell their son that his A did not cause the D. My point was that he is really probably not lying at all. It is probably better for all involved if they accept the truth of that.
Now, if Donna's X was trying to tell their son that there was no A, well, that is a flat out lie. Not sure what I'd want to do about that, I'd probably talk to a C.
As for using an X-spouse to moralize and teach kids lessons, I think there are plenty of other cases that can be used to teach kids morals. A child needs parents that they can love without feeling like they are betraying the other parent. If one parent paints the other parent as the evil-doer, that becomes pretty darn hard.
I think probably the best way to handle what info is shared with kids is this: Imagine you are reconciled and all is well. Then ask, what info would you want to have been shared with the kids and how would you want to have shared it? If you share that info in that manner, I think you'd probably be doing the best you could for your kids.
I think probably the best way to handle what info is shared with kids is this: Imagine you are reconciled and all is well. Then ask, what info would you want to have been shared with the kids and how would you want to have shared it? If you share that info in that manner, I think you'd probably be doing the best you could for your kids.
I am glad you brought this up, b/c this is how my therapist and I came to the conclusion on how to talk to he children.
X was told how I would proced with telling the children,about the Divorce. and he said ok.
He admitted to them lying about his GF, that was there from the beginning.
As for our marriage, I wanted the kids to know, my part of the demise. I, with the therapist told my children, I felt that they needed to know that their father was not ALL at fault, it was demise on both our parts. The lying of the GF was wrong, and they asked me, I told them the truth. I told X what i told the children also.
Blech, this is all so difficult.
Thanks for that part of the article Yoyo. The cycle, is hurtful.
Hiya Mike.
Hiya Bethie. Candy, you got it. I eat the chocolate tho, you can have the rest. smooches.
OMG, I love your kids to pieces!!!
You are wonderful...never forget that...
Love you mucho!!!
Oh Lissie!
Your son sounds like such a smart little man. A tribute to you and the mother you are. Your kids are going to grow into wonderful adults. You will see.
I love Halloween too! Yes, candy!!!
A child needs parents that they can love without feeling like they are betraying the other parent. If one parent paints the other parent as the evil-doer, that becomes pretty darn hard.
I agree with this, as hard as it may be. My son needs and loves his dad. It would come back and bite me if I was to push the issue about the affair, morality, who caused what, etc. I have backed off of it completely. He believes what he needs to believe right now, so he can love and be loved by both of us. In the end, that is what is most important.
OT - I want to respond to you over on my thread, because my response got really long....
I thnk what lissie was saying and what OT is saying is that there is no ONE person to blame
there are lots of things that contributed and it is ok to let them know that things that happened were wrong
i make mistakes all the time
my kids know that]
they also know that i will own up to those mistakes
their therapist said that it would make them feel less pressure to be perfect and that it would help them understand that no one thing everleads to the end of a relationship but there are a bunch of things from both peoplei nvovled that add up
and
it would help them understand that in no way are they responsible for even a little bit of that.
When I first started talking to the kids about what happened, I told S13 that mom and dad had stopped talking so that we could hear and understand each other. I think that is really the closest thing to the truth.
Having the third party involved certainly complicated things. I so wish that my kids had never had to see that side of their father, that their father was a better person than that. But I can't change what is. I can only let them see him as they will see him.
And with every conversation, I made it a point to let the kids know that this had NOTHING to do with them.
Donna I think you are doing wonderfully.
We are all trying our best with our kids, with friends, family therapist, and prayers.
We know that we are the only ones that walk in our shoes.
They are your babies, and no one is going to love them in the way that you do, and I am sure you are doing your very best.
That is one special little man you have there.
Hey sweets,
You have such wonderful kids--wow!!! And with as open as they are with their feelings, well, there's just o doubt they are going to be okay.
I won't have my kids for halloween either--the first time. Ugh.
I love you.
Althea
Lis you're a beautiful lady.
Your ex's behavior, the cheating, his leaving, the divorce...none of it is a reflection on you.
It never was.
Your kids are beautiful, too.
Time and again, even in just words typed on this board, we can plainly see you in them both.
They are blessed to have you.
So are we.
Love ya,
Amy
Just stopping by to say "Hi!", Lissie! What an awesome letter your son wrote...such maturity and strength for a little man! Both of your children are precious...you have much to be proud of!
You, yourself, have grown in so many ways these past couple of years! Continue to hold your head high and know that you are doing a wonderful job!
deb
Hi Lissie
Hi Lissie
Hi Lissie
You hot chicketa
Um (clear my throat) (try not to tear up at work)
THANK YOU!
Lissssiiieeee, chica meja Lissie!
Well its easy to see where your S and your D, get their amazing warmth and loving ways, YOU!
What a sweetheart he is Lissie, you must be so proud, and he will continue to be that way, he will protect his mama, boys do that and yours will be there for you every step of the way!
((( Lisse and the kiddles)))
i hate picture day
i need the biggest chocolate shake/malt EVER
stat
youre a nurse
can you write me a scrip or something????
Chica, hope today is a better day for you...I know you are worried about stuff in your family...I know you worry about them...that is okay mami..
It will all work out in the end.
Muchisimos besos...
Valentine
Thank you mami.
Thank you guys. I am not ignoring emails.(sorry peeps)
My Papi, is going thru some stuff now. Funny how a pain in his stomach, has turned out to going from Dr to Dr in 2 days.
A procedure needs to be done on him tomorrow at the hospital, and last night his EKG came back abnormal. I took him to my office and did it myself, so I gave it to my Dr and he said no Lis it is abnormal and needs cardiac clearance. Oh Ok another Dr?
You got it.
I just go into nurse mode. Last night, I felt "the shift" as my friend baseball annie says.
I was the adult and my papi became the child.
I have a list of things to get done for him for doctors. No problem I will do it. I will not complain. How can I? My papi. My hero. If anyone as been blessed with a father as amazing as mine, well you have been touched by an angel.
He is my hero, my best friend. He is that man that I thought my X would be like. WHOA was I wrong.
He is not perfect, ruff around the edges, my kids know a spanish curse or 2 and it because of him, and I would not have it any other way.
So I am not ignoring the calls or emails, I am just trying to focus on getting all this stuff done.
Love you guys
and thank you
Oh Sweetie,
I'm sorry to hear this. I will keep him and your family in my prayers. He's lucky also in that he has a daughter who can take such great care of him.
Hey Auntie Beth could teach the kids more than a swear or 2 in english then they would be multi-lingual in that dept.. Hey you never know when it might come in handy!
Love,
Bethie
Lissie
God bless you both, and know we are thinking of you. When he is fully recovered, maybe I can send you a Cranky dad to keep a few days. Just finished another round of eye surgery after 80th bday. Acting down and blue, needing TLC, and I don't look good in nurse's clothes.
(((Lissie)))
I LOVE That papi of yours. Chappy Sr. I have a pretty feisty hip 79 year old chick that will probably put a smile on his face.
Thank you lovey.
BETH, luv ya babes
Lissie, so sorry to read that you are having to go through all this w/ your dad! Please know that you and your family are in my prayers!
Take Care and keep us informed!
deb
((Lissie))
So sorry to hear that your Dad's not feeling well. I know how tough it is to parent our parents.
Let us know how everything goes. We're all here for you.
i have my phone with me
its charged
call or tm
mucho love to you and your papi
((( Lissie )))
I'm sorry your dad is not feeling well.
Its not fun watching our parents getting sick, your father sounds like a wonderful man!
Love and Prayers to you and your family
Hiya Amy ! Thanks for asking
Thanks for the TM's today peeps.(sigh)
Well My dad was found to have stones in the gallbladder.
An Abdominal ultrasound showed he has many cysts.
Blood test showed his Liver functions studies were elevated.
After going to the Gastro Dr. They told him that he needed to have an ERCP done. Which is a procedure where they go down your throat with a camera, sort of like an Endoscopy a little more involved.
They wanted to see if he has stoned in the liver.
My papi has been so nervous, so his blood pressure went up
after his EKG came back abnormal we went to the cardiologist to clear him for the ERCP .
At the cardiologist the EKG was still abnormal but he cleared him for the procedure today anyway.
OK get to the hospital, during the procedure my papi's breathing became labored while under anesthesia.
So they could not remove the stones from the liver, but place in a stent.
Ok So surgery to remove the gallbladder is supposed to be for Monday.
Ok
so wakes up from anesthesia
tells me he has to go to the bathroom after about half hour.
was a bit dizzy
calls me into the bathroom calls my name and he proceeds to pass out into my arms, I held him enough to guide him down, he looks at me and then I call for the nurse. Then i see his mouth turn to the side, I said hurry I think he is having a stroke.
The nurses come, and the doctors.
Get him back on the bed and back on the IV
I am looking at him and say smile for me, grab my fingers. He did.
The doctors just think his blood pressure went way down, and when that happens it can mimic signs of a stroke
So got him on the bed and waiting to be admitted.
I go to the bathroom, cry for 2 minutes.
run out and back into the room and get paperwork started and done.
He gets admitted, and fed, and seems had blood work and cat scan to be sure.
Find out the results tomorrow.
The lady that registered him, her name was Althea (sigh)
All the nurses called him papi. (sigh)
I just came home from being at the hospital since this morning.
He is a nervous wreck. He kept saying to me I am 80 years old , I am 80 years old.
My dad is in great shape health wise. He does not look 80. He has no medical problems thank God.
So basically just taking it one day at at time.
Thank you for letting me vent this. I have not slept in 3 days, I am sort of just running on adrenaline.
Thank you for all the prayers and well wishes.
Love you
(((Lissie))),
I'm so sorry to hear that all of this is going on. Your Papi is such a wonderful man and I hope they can figure out what's needed to make him well again.
Hang in there, sweetie. You need to take care of your self and that means, get some sleep!!!
Your family will be in my prayers.
this crazy assssss small town doesn't sell candles like the kind i need
so i used some smelly ones
from party lite
siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh
lemon grass
Goodness gracious Lis.
Lots of prayers going up...
Love ya!
Hugs, Lissie!
How is your Papi today? You are so lucky to have each other.
Awww You guys are like Charlie's Angels
Like Papi's Angels.
Sooooooooo He stayed the night last night, and all the doctors called me today and have cleared him to leave the hospital
Blood work and cat scan all came back normal.
I am at work and just talked to him
and very loudly in spanish
he said
Get me F out of here.
So Um yeah he is back to normal
thank you
Now just to schedule the gallbladder surgery, and hopefully everything will be behind us soon enuff.
Thank you guys
I'm no angel.
You must mean the other chicks.
lol
Actually I always wanted to be Jaclyn Smith's character but don't get me started....
Snap...wth was her name???
i love papi
and
the gallbladder thing is like cake
i had mine removed and was cleaning an hour after being home
smoooooooooooooooooches
and
thank you last night for listening to me gripe even though you were so stressed
i suck
and
the party lite candle smelled good
and
siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh
I'm no angel.
You must mean the other chicks.
Duh
Kelly Garrett
THANK YOU WIKIPEDIA
I now return you to Lis's thread - already in progress
SORRY
I'm no angel.
You must mean the other chicks.
Duh
HAAA!
I had mine removed a few years back and was eating a hamburger as soon as I got home. Something that caused great pain prior to the surgery! they said not to eat like that after but I did and I was fine.
Yay, for Papi feeling better and acting himself again. That's great news, Lissie!
Was this the Guy- ish angel?
Hell no that was Kate Jackson's "Sabrina".
I'd have been the HOT brunette.
Sooo Chica Lissie
Its me and you eh? lol
The cheeses stands alone lol
Hows things?
Good morning Chickie Marie.
AmyC DUH of course you are the HOT brunette. I mean really.
I received a link to an old thread yesterday by a dear heart that used to post here, but no longer does b/c of all the crappola.
Anyway, It was an old thread on the MLC board last year around the summer time I think.
It was over 20 pages long, and I had tears running down my face b/c if was so dang funny.
BND, AMY C, FORD, IAN, JACK, ALWAYS, FIGGY, BASEBALL ANNIE, ALTHEA, SMURF,countless others, It was hysterical, and in the middle of all that shooting the $hit, laughter and blogging.
There was still a tremendous amount of help. A help that was embroidered into the silliness. There was still a tremendous amount of teaching. It was a gift. I am so happy that they are archived. I am so happy that those memories of what once was is still here for a while.
This board well , as you have all heard before has been a life saver, a warm blanket on a warm night.
A virtual pool during the summer time, in which drinks were even passed out by some hottie pool boys. A place to curl up in front of a virtual fireplace on the curb, and hold on, for the storm that was passing us by.
All that warmth and love (yes I am the emotional one) has been slipped away.
I guess it is true what they say, Everything must come to an end.
I wish I was one of the stronger ones, to stand up and fight and be heard and all that stuff. I get to emotional, I HATE to see feelings get hurt. It bothers me.
I hold so many people here in my heart, and to see the division is so unnecessary so blech.
It was hard for me to leave the MLC board, but thank God that those wonderful peeps from there I am blessed enough to still keep in contact with, off the board.
I came to the surviving board. I came to a new place, a new energy. While Scary at first, the same warmth was here.
Barb, I am sorry you are banned, thank you so much for that cool drink of lemonade on those days where maybe the X was so cruel that I could not post about it, but that virtual drink did wonders.
Beth, I am sorry you are banned. Thank you so much for that love shack, where on a day let's say that my children did wonderfully in school. I came into the love shack at night and was able to brag, or kick up my feet, and grab a virtual drink ,and celebrate a milestone with you and others.
OH and thank you, thank you, thank you, for my Divorce party, where so many of you came and shared my nervousness of court and made it possible for me, to go into court the next day with my head held up high. Because in the mist of all that Blogging, you all gave me so much strength.
Figgy, I am sorry you are banned. well you know our ups and downs and drama, well that only made us that much closer.
Jilly Queen Bean- I am sorry you are banned. Thank you for letting me know, that maybe, just maybe, it was not ALL my fault. Thank you for showing me that with moments of extreme laughter and joy. And Again, thank you for showing me that I am healing and moving forward.
The memories are all there, and that is the wonderful part.
I wish you all a great day.
Lis
Lissie, what a beautiful post. I am in shock here, I haven't been around and just popped on today to check on people and feel in the dark, to say the least.
I am very sorry to hear about the bannings. so many of the people you mentioned were a huge part in my, well, my recovery. don't really know how else to put it.
Lissie--
Just catching up; the bannings were distracting and disturbing....
Hope that papi is doing oh-so-much better...
You make me blubber Lissie Chickie
((( Liss)))
have a terrific day
I swear when I grow up I want to be sweet and gentle...and have big boobies just like Lissie.
Miss Lissie
Thanks for reminding us of so many good times. Times that helped us so much more than the counseling we may have paid for. Times that helped us so much more than the support some of our families thought they were providing. Without the real friends and support shared here in the past couple years, some of us may have ended up living very dark days.
Thank you and so many others for directing sunbeams through our windows when we needed it. Thanks to so many for the drinks, visions of life by the pool, and everyday stories of life - family - and friends. I love the memories of kids in school, diving in underwater heavens, knitting microscopic sweaters, shopping for shoes, decorating new places, and so much more. Thanks for letting me live in your closet and watch you grow.
Thanks to everyone that was there to discuss Mars-Venus and unintentionally driving off-road in the corn field and ditches. You all saved me. MLC was the forum. But you were the people that reached out and made it happen. I can only pray that others who experience the shock and awe of the bomb find the same kind of support and friendship somewhere, if not here.
The evolution of Surviving has expanded the scope of contacts for many here. After a while, some posts were no longer focused on surviving the bomb. That should be a good sign that Surviving has happened and that healing is becoming a reality for many of us. I hope that Surviving can continue to be a positive thing for everyone and I pray that the banning becomes something the moderators can move past in a cooperative spirit among those banned. We have seen it go full circle before as bans were lifted. It can again. The point, and the reminder, may be that this is where we came and found help. We don't want to diminish that hope for anyone else. We just want to be able to find each other here at times, stay in touch, and continue to share stories of our Survival with the family we became.
(((everyone)))
Thank you and so many others for directing sunbeams through our windows when we needed it.
Ok now I'm really crying! Dang emotions!
X just called me
He was just fired.
WHAT?
Fired.
I was like what
then he started yelling, I was Fing fired do you Fing understand?
UGH
I just said ok bye
So the mortgage?
what?
He never had a problem with work before.
Nice that he blew our retirement money on his friggen apt and tight t shirts that showed his nipples.
He moved in with his GF also
He called me and he said , I dunno what YOU are going to do now?
nice
ugh
I can't wrap my brain around this right now.
good grief
Oh No Lissie!
I'm sorry, what YOUR gonna do about it?? give me a as to quote your ex friggin break!
Sooo, you do get a part of his unemployement correct? If you are collecting SS /CS?
Gosh Lissie I'm sorry, you dont need this to worry about.
I will say its a fear of mine , because w/o ex SS I couldndt totaly make my mort. payment.
tight t shirts that showed his nipples.
not to laugh but that was funny. fer reals?
Lissie, I am so sorry I haven't written sooner.
I'm so glad to read that your dad is doing better! My dad had his gall bladder removed a few years ago.
I just read about your ex. Wow! I really don't know what to say. I'm thinking that he had better start looking for another job right away, as I am assuming he has financial obligations to you.
Hope YOU are doing well!
Keep in touch!
deb
Check with the local Women's Center, if you have one. They might be able to help with grants or low-interest loans. Catholic Charities, too.
Social Services for your town.
Ugh. What a mess!
Thank you Amy C, I may have to sell some boobage, call me and let me know if you are interested.
Chappy. thank you for that was so beautiful, and you are never leaving my closet b/c you know i am a stalker.
Oh I am not going to freak out about it, i refuse.
I have my papi to focus on, and other stuff. The mortgage, well I will see what i can work out b/c what he pays me goes to that.
I have wonderful family.
So many others are worse off. Especially after hearing about losses of loved ones.
thank you lovies
What are YOU going to do about it? Sounds like mine H. Sunday night I asked him to get out of MY bed (he decided to nap in it!) and he said "You get out. You go downstairs and wait til I'm awake". They are so nasty.
By the way, I didn't wait til he was awake.
But, I digress....
where so many of you came and shared my nervousness of court and made it possible for me, to go into court the next day with my head held up high. Because in the mist of all that Blogging, you all gave me so much strength
I wanted you to know that I shed tears for you on the day of your divorce. The way you worded it, the emotions coming from you and from your X...I could picture myself in those shoes way back then, and I could only hope I could get through it like you did. Here I am, weeks away from it. I know I can do it now, thanks to people like you showing me it will be ok, it can be done, it won't kill me.
So sad that many of those people can't offer their terrific support anymore. But thank you, miss lissie from the bottom of my heart.
It will work out Lissie
Things always seem to.
Lissie, that just sucks. I am so sorry.
and then the buttmunch still puts it on you!
That is the definition of a buttmunch, I do believe. I have one of those...
buttmunch, sigh.
Thanks
Called my mom this morning, and she said to me
SHUT UP
he has always been money hungry and I felt that this would happen to him b/c he sees dollar signs all the time.
He has been trying to screw you over for the longest with money
--->
she usually adores him
So she said you always have a home here
and we will do what we have to
do.
So I shut it, like she said b/c if i kept talking i would of had to hear
the story of her and my papi coming to this country with 20 dollars in their pocket
and i am at work
bless their hearts
so onward and forward peeps
Luv yiz
So, you have the back-up plan. Take a breath, now, and let the chips fall for a while. SO glad you have the support of your parents!!! How is papi?
X just called me
He was just fired.
WHAT?
Fired.
I was like what
then he started yelling, I was Fing fired do you Fing understand?
UGH
I just said ok bye
So the mortgage?
what?
He never had a problem with work before.
Nice that he blew our retirement money on his friggen apt and tight t shirts that showed his nipples.
He moved in with his GF also
He called me and he said , I dunno what YOU are going to do now?
nice
ugh
I can't wrap my brain around this right now.
good grief
I don't comment much about your stich anymore, but I would like to make a couple of comments. I would be curious to know WHY he was fired. Second, I wonder how appealing he will be now to his G.F. now that he isn't making the big money. I would stay tuned if I were you, I have a feeling this story is going to make a major turn very soon.......
OH SUGAR !!!!!!!!
Whenever things go wrong with them, they always take it out on us... be ready because braveheart is absolutely right.
I am reading a great book, check it out... "My EX is Driving Me Crazy".
Preparate, mi amor.
I am going to call you tonight...
Bravey, even tho you are upset with me you posted? sigh. Thank you lovey.
WEll I dunno , I think she will just support his butt if you ask me.
I just can't see him Fing up another R. I think it will bring them closer.
I don't really care, to tell you the truth, he could marry her for all I care.
Just give a room to my kids already
sheesh
he called me today, and said I can't take the kids today (eyeroll)
But i said Ok honey, you do what you have to do to get yourself together ok.
and bye
EVER
hahahhaa preparate! You sound like my cousin
OMG come over this weekend, we(bunch of us) are going out, you have the kids? ok call me
Lissie
I know you have a lot on your mind now. But have you considered sharing this info with you L?
You may be advised to prepare for some future action. He should not be off the hook forever just because he is not working now. He will get another job. We all need fries !!!
Your L may advise you on what is required to lay claim to back payments once he is working. There may be room to lay claim to part of his separation, or tight shirts.
I know you aren't concerned about how this will play with his new gal; though I expect it will be proverbial "you know what in the punch bowl". As much as it will hurt you financially right now, she will probably like it a whole lot less! Just wait till he calls to rant about that sorry B!tch leaving him .... and how can somebody do that to somebody else. That is when I will send you a bottle of the good stuff!!
The family that loves him in spite of his actions can feed him. It is not your job to let him off the hook. He owes his kids. Time for him to Man Up and do without for the kids.
And I'll have a chocolate shake with those fries Dude!
I do let him off the hook.
Like when he backs out of seeing the kids. I tell him your loss, and say bye. Today I was like oh honey. It just gets me off the phone faster.
Hate it.
But I rather have the kids to be with me, then be exposed to his NAS T Ness.
I should stop that?
Ugh
you know how he gets.
Well financially I will not let him off the hook
B/c it is CS and that is for the kids.
I called my L today. I wouldn't of before, so hey can you send half of the bottle of the good stuff?
and she was like WHAT?
"Everytime I think I am going to see the last of that weasel he messes up again".
Love her.
So she is going to investigate stuff and get back to me. So like my cousin said, H"old one chica". blech
Thank you chappy, I will listen. ICK he is gonna be a deadbeat?
good grief. hate being at work late.
Hey Bean, hang in there and try very hard to not jump to any conclusions as of yet.
For all you know he may get another job tomorrow right?
He has obligations and you have recourse if he does not live up to them in a reasonable time frame. Your L will take care of you fosho.....
ok...back into hiding......
later....
Ian
I understand being happy to keep the kids. As long as you are around to have them and don't have to break plans. Maybe you can say, ok, I make $8/hour to babysit
Your L sounds awesome!
Love your thought, Donna! that's a good idea.
Bravey, even tho you are upset with me you posted? sigh. Thank you lovey.
WEll I dunno , I think she will just support his butt if you ask me.
I just can't see him Fing up another R. I think it will bring them closer.
I don't really care, to tell you the truth, he could marry her for all I care.
Just give a room to my kids already
sheesh
he called me today, and said I can't take the kids today (eyeroll)
But i said Ok honey, you do what you have to do to get yourself together ok.
and bye
EVER
hahahhaa preparate! You sound like my cousin
OMG come over this weekend, we(bunch of us) are going out, you have the kids? ok call me
Lissie, I am not upset with you, I am afraid that you suffer from the same problem all females have, psychosis! At any rate, looking at your thread, I remembered some things that you had told me back in time, particularly about your EX job. I find it very strange that he was suddenly fired, especally from the place that he works. People are rarely fired from something like that, sounds like there could be a lot more to it than meets the eye. As far as what his G.F. will do, well, you might be suprised. He might loose a lot of his appeal without the big salary that he made. I guess time will tell, I think you have the correct attitude about it though, who cares! I do think that things are going to go south for Javier, it will be very tough right now to get another position like he had, things are super tight right now. I doubt very seriously that anyone will hire him in that field that he was in, since it is so very unusual to get fired, no one will want to risk it. To put it all in a nutshell, I wouldn't be suprised if he isn't left all alone in the next little bit. I might be very wrong, but I just have that hunch.
I am afraid that you suffer from the same problem all females have, psychosis!
Sigh
something esle to worry about
Well thanks lovey, and yeah you know he was making boo koo (sp) bucks so he said i should say.
and he has always had a wonderful work record.
And this was his new job in NYC that he was bragging about
he told me that they didn't like his work perfomance.
sigh
Thanks Ian, yeah tomorrow will be good for him to get a job.
I make $8/hour to babysit
Oh that is a good one.
heehe
dang they make that much?
jeeepers
I am afraid that you suffer from the same problem all females have, psychosis!
Sigh
something esle to worry about
Well thanks lovey, and yeah you know he was making boo koo (sp) bucks so he said i should say.
and he has always had a wonderful work record.
And this was his new job in NYC that he was bragging about
he told me that they didn't like his work perfomance.
sigh
Thanks Ian, yeah tomorrow will be good for him to get a job.
I doubt that my statement will cause you any sleepless nights.
Lissie,
I read the thread where.......well all the fuss was about and read that your Cuban, my mom is Cuban too, first generation American. And we call my daughter Lissie, two things we have in common, oh and Divorce.........hmmm, wonder what else.
Hiya Friend.
I have a bad habit of just aying Cuban
My parents are Cuban I was born here.
My brothers were also born in Cuba.
I keep all things Cuban close to my heart, we only speak spanish to my parents and all big family gatherings, but I was born in NJ.
Lissie for your Daughter awww. My name is Lissett.
Divorce in common.
And if you love shoes, then we are probably related
Hiya Friend.
I have a bad habit of just aying Cuban
My parents are Cuban I was born here.
My brothers were also born in Cuba.
I keep all things Cuban close to my heart, we only speak spanish to my parents and all big family gatherings, but I was born in NJ.
Lissie for your Daughter awww. My name is Lissett.
Divorce in common.
And if you love shoes, then we are probably related
I flew over Cuba once, that's as close as I want to get to it while the commies are still in charge. One day it will be a top vacation destination, it was back before Fidel. I also have a fondness for Cuban, Scarface is my all time favorite movie!!!
Lissie,
I was born in Miami, my Grandparents come from Cuba and Spain, my mom was born in New York.
My parents only spoke in Spanish at family gatherings too, I wish they would of talk it more so I could of been bi-ligual (sp) but I can understand alittle, especially the bad words. lol
I'm not as crazy about shoes as my daughter Lissie is so maybe we're still related in some way.
Take Care........
Chica Lissie
Have a great weekend!!!
I'm with ya Bravey.
Friend, sounds like mucho of stuff the same. My paternal grandparents are from Spain.
Being bilingual has helped me a great deal with work I have to say.
My kids are bilingual but not as much as they should be I think, it is my fault I get lazy. But we have the spanglish down pact.
Well aren't all the cubans in Miami?
Chickie Marie, you too sweetie, and have so much fun.
Have a great weekend peeps
TGIF cocktails all around to lock this thread.
Well, if you are gonna make me drink, then at least share one with me.
Hmmmmm .... Mojito .... Patron .... let's see ... what tickles your fancy?