Yes, I'm a Barbie GAL! I had a life prior to the disintegration of my M but I put it on hold for a while so I could pick up my pieces. But I'd really like to talk about GETTING A LIFE!!!! It is SO important to work on this and make the best life you can for you and yourself. Because last time I looked - God only gave us one shot at it. I intend to make mine great.
Did you see the Bucket List? Did you read 1000 places to visit or 1000 things to do before you die? Well, I started a list a while back. In fact - about 5 years ago it appeared on my thread. And others added to it. And I put some of the things down that I hoped to do. I can tell you - I've made progress. There are lots of things I have yet to do. Some are in the works. Some will take more planning. I don't like to think of them as things I will do before I die. Because I want to focus on LIVING!
I hoped to have a new man in my life - preferably tall, dark and handsome. Ok, I can't say that he is tall (he is taller than me) but he has a full head of dark, curly hair and he is handsome. I am SO lucky to have him. But the looks mean nada. He is kind and I love him. That is my biggest step forward. And in less than 10 days it will be 4 1/2 years for us!
I wanted to see a moose in the wild and did. I wanted to see a manatee in the wild and did (an attractive DB male friend took me to see one in his home state). I wanted to drive Pacific Coast highway in its entirety. So far I have done San Diego as far north as Santa Barbara and Big Sur to San Francisco. So - I've done most of it.
I wanted to visit Carmel. Josh took me there as a surprise. I LOVED it! I wanted to go to Napa and Sonoma - DONE!
I have had a lifelong dream to visit Australia. So has Josh. Today we spent a long time planning out this trip of a lifetime. We will be leaving on his birthday, right after Christmas and fly to Sydney in time to see the New Year's Eve Fireworks over Sydney harbour. Our month away will include a Princess cruise to ports in Australia, Tasmania and New Zealand. A bit of touring in NZ post cruise then we'll fly to Cairns to cross off one of my greatest dreams - snorkelling the Great Barrier Reef! We still need to determine our adventure following that. It might be another one on my list - Hot Air Ballooning. Our trip will include a few more things on my list that involve seeing wildlife in their natural habitat - koalas, kangaroos and the duckbilled platypus.
OK, enough about the trip. Still lots to decide on and book. But I want to talk about wishing, hoping, dreaming and planning. We all have them. And some we will make real. And some we won't. But if you prioritize and keep your expectations in perspective - many dreams can be made a reality. You can work towards your GAL goals by breaking them down into little steps. And then taking a small step in that direction. Like starting a special savings or looking at ways of achieving a dream. Some of it is just pure luck (like the time I saw the moose with my sister). Being in the right place at the right time.
So I've told you some of the things I've worked on to GAL. And some of the things on my TO DO list. What are your goals? What is on your TO DO list? What can you do today to take a step towards making that happen?
Barb
Great post, Barb!
About that hot air balloon - may I recommend a sunset ride over the desert in Phoenix? It was awesome.
And last night I lived out another serious GAL dream. I got to hang out backstage with one of my favorite musicians, and watch his band and then Devo perform while I stood off to the side of the stage. (Yes, this nerdy middle-aged mom got to be one of the "cool kids" standing on the side of the stage! :>) )
(Devo still rocks, btw, although there is something just WRONG about gray hair peeking out from a flower-pot hat. How did we get to be so OLD?)
Some of my new goals?
- learn to play a new instrument - I was thinking maybe the clarinet that my D left behind from her middle-school band days.
- travel to Prague and to Ireland
- write a book
Ellie
Ellie:
I LOVE your goals! I was with you nearly 2 years ago when I did part of that Pacific coast drive!
Hot Air Ballooning! I attempted it 3 times in Orlando with fellow DB pal, Pearl. We had to get up at 5 each day. And each time the weather was not suitable and the balloon did not go up! Then Josh tried to book it as a birthday surprise for me during our California trip. (when I met Survial Goddess with him). It would fly over Napa! But that was when the flooding was happening so he took me to Carmel instead. I will look into your suggestion. I am thinking that a trip to Sonoma needs to be on my list.
So you got to see Devo! WAY COOL! I remember teaching a routine to "Whip It" a few years back. One of my best works. Yep - they rock!
I, too, have always wanted to write a book. The "Lemonade" series (seriously). About overcoming life's most difficult upheavels. Like Ryan and Chuck.
And I'd love to visit Ireland. Especially since I saw "P.S. I Love You". It looks incredible.
Great goals Ellie!
Barb
Hey Ellie,
If you have my ancient email, please email me...
OT -
Sorry to say I can't find it. But you know I'm tough, and I get my mail at that very hot place.
Barb - H and I took that sunset balloon trip as part of a business trip outing. The desert lighting in the late afternoon was fabulous.
Ellie
Ellie: It sounds GORGEOUS! Do you have photos? Any you might email travelbarb? Also at that hot place? Ahh - but you knew that!
Barb
Raising 3 happy, healthy children into successful, considerate adults. That was one of my main goals in life. I worried how the divorce might affect them. 7 years later - let's take a look.
Ryan, severely disabled following a viral encephalitis at age 4.5. He is now 29 years old. Lives here at home with me. Is looked after 12 hours per day by personal support workers. He is healthy and happy. Yes, I lost the handicapped accessible home we had built for his comfort but the new house has plenty of room for him and I recently added an elevator to improve his accessibility (he had limited mobility on stairs) and to keep his workers out of the main part of the house. YEAH - I have my house back!
Brandon was 19 and about to start his first year of college when his dad suddenly left. He changed schools to stay home and help me. And he was incredible! Lived at home the next 2 years, being like a dad to his sis and helping with Ryan. He graduated from hotel management and started a career in the business. After a couple of years he decided to get a second education and spent another year at a private recording arts school. He then moved to Toronto and is currently working in the business. Big plans at present are his annual wilderness camping/canoe trip with friends. They'll spend before and after at the cottage and move on to Algonquin for a week.
Ashley became a teenager the day after 9-11. Her dad had just moved out. What a devestating way to begin that tough phase. We've had our ups and downs together. Many extreme highs - she is a talented girl full of life and ambition. And many extreme lows - what teenage girl isn't a basket of emotions and hormones. Never a dull moment. Agony, stress, you name it. And of course, wanting the best for her - I feel everything that she feels a thousand times over. Lately she has been working with Ryan (yes she gets paid) and has cared for him at night while I have been away (for which I am grateful and also compensate her). She is starting her first fulltime job today at a tech support call in center, making good money and will finish her college courses online this year (she only needs 4 more credits to graduate). She still plans to further her education in the field of nutrition out of town next year.
So, all in all - 3 kids have survived the Big D along with me. Affected by it? Oh yes - majorly. But letting them figure out how to handle situations as they arose and offering them unconditional love and support with access to counselling as needed has worked for us. This is not the family life I had planned for them - but I have done my best.
Communication with your kids is key. Listen when they need to talk. Leave them be when they don't. Email them, leave little notes, just remember how much you love them. They might pretend they don't like it or don't notice - but they need the support.
Hope your kids are doing well too!
Barb
Communication with your kids is key. Listen when they need to talk. Leave them be when they don't. Email them, leave little notes, just remember how much you love them. They might pretend they don't like it or don't notice - but they need the support.
Thank you for this Barb. I get so terrified at times. Then I remember what i am scared of the most usually smacks me in my face. I need to learn how to breathe better.
As for traveling, I will live vicariously thru you for now. Till I meet that very handsome, and ver rich 99 year old that is deaf and mute, bless his heart.
Ellie that sounds like a dream. Devo, the ride in Phoenix.
I hope you ladies do get to write those books.
Lissie, you are doing a fab job with your kids. No doubt in my mind or in theirs, I'm sure. Still, it is not easy being a single mom. Just wait till your little girl is a teen - now that's the toughest in my experience. But we all survive!
I dreamed I left on a month long trip (the one planned with Josh after Christmas) and did not pack or pay my bills. (OK, I'm leaving for Iowa tommorrow and did not pack yet or get U.S. $). It was not so wonderful. I had to go home and get ready all over again. Weird dream.
Some day I will write. For now my artistic pursuits are tiny.
Barb
Morning Friends!
Sun shines today and I'm seing a bit of colour in the park behind my house. It will only get better over the next month
Yesterday started with a possible disaster but was handled well. The new nurse we trained for 2 days last week pulled out. Her first shift was to be yesterday afternoon. Normally this would have sent me into shockwaves. But my morning nurse told me she could pick up the afternoon shift if I let her take Ryan to college with her. I agreed and was SO grateful. SHe and my other nurse have picked up the extra shifts for the next week or 2, taking the pressure off of me. Not sure what I'd do without them. She is pregnant, though, and will be on maternity leave in a couple of months. Still, I am so happy she made my life easier.
So today it is back to the drawing board. An ongoing process in my life. The agency wants me to hire a guy, but I'm not so sure. I wonder about my comfort level having a guy in the house and around Ashley. She is older now so maybe it won't be an issue. And a guy could be stronger and more able to assist Ryan. So I agreed to meet the guy in question later this morning and decide from there. We had a guy a few years back and he was just creepy. He would come 2 hours early and hang out in my neighbourhood because he liked it. I didn't like that at all!
Taking my lifelong best friend out for lunch after the interview. I'm so lucky to have her in my life still. It is always a pleasure! I need to go wrap her gift.
And I guess I should pack later to go to Iowa so I don't have any weird dreams like last night. I realized that I left my fav pair of jeans at the cottage so that has me a bit miffed. However, I was also thinking of shopping today for a fall outfit - maybe some sage casual pants and an autumn coloured print top. I did get 2 new sweaters and a pareo last week. So I'm on a roll.
Hope the sun is shining where you are as it is here. What are your plans today?
Barb
How did your daughter's first day at her new job go, Barb? And...did you take her and yourself out for a Pumpkin Spice latte?
Hope everything works out for finding the right nurse for your son.
Sorry about the nurse Barb , that must be so frustrating for you, did she give an excuse?
I agree w/ the male nurse, some pros and cons tho
so your going to Iowa now?? boy girl, I bet you keep the airlines in buss! lol
What are you going for work? I must of missed that.
Have a good day I get to empty out my fridge today, yeah!!! lol
Hi Trip!
Ashley loves the new job. She has been in a better mood. Sure hope it continues! I offered her the latte but she just asked for a Tim's instead.
It was so funny yesterday. Left work early and went to Drive Thru Swiss Chalet. My phone rang (I have the hands free working now) and Ash asked me if I was at Swiss Chalet. Its only a block from our house and she had seen me on her way home. She wanted some too! So I backed up to add her order. And as she was on speaker, the girl took the order and could hear Ashley's replies. Hard for me to explain but it was SO funny!
Anyway, this is a fab job. She's already making more than her older brother and that's just the training part!
Barb
Hey K!
Nurse said she didn't think she could handle it. It might have been nice if she said so BEFORE I paid to train her!
I interviewed the guy today and he is perfect. Reminded me of Brandon. Already knows Ryan from school. His education and training is superb! I HOPE it will work out. I have good vibes!
Going to a football game in Iowa with K (Cali Friend) and her sis and family from Buffalo. You know K. Can't wait to see her. We are watching her niece twirl baton at the game. Going to Pep Rally. Going to a spa, retail shopping stuff like that. I need to get my act together and pack.
I'm a busy girl!
Barb
Oh yesss K! Now I remember! Tell her I said Hi remember? lol
and ask her ex if its gonna rain soon LOL
Glad the nurse may work out! I sure hope so
Have a totally terrific perfect day time!
Oh and today i was cleaning kitchen drawers ya know to get ready for MY new fridge! lol and I came across your buss. card! I said ahhhhhhhhhh Barbieeeeee look! lol nice to "see" you today
K: I have to ask her if she still speaks to him - LOL! They were on good terms when I was last there (when I saw you), but he stopped paying CS so that has caused some tension. But he did come here a year ago for his niece's Grad party (I was kinda shocked). That's the niece we're going to see in Iowa.
She just emailed me - no idea what to pack. I'm packing too. We always room together and we're just like the Bobbsey Twins. Drives her sis mad. Cuz we laugh over nuthin and everything!
Gotta get my clothes out of the dryer. Need to wrap some gifts too. It was all of their birthdays - K, sis, sis's H, and both nieces within the last month! Sheesh - who planned that?
Barb
PS: Karen, the photo on my business card was taken the last time I was in IOWA!!! It was taken at the Bridges of Madison County. I had professional photos done at all the bridges by a DB friend. I'm a big fan of the movie. Now I'd like to make a dollhouse replica of Francesca's house. In my spare time of course. I rescued a dollhouse a month ago that needs restoration and today I was told about a 10 room house that even has a turret that has been displayed at the library and needs some TLC. They're giving it to me! WOW - maybe I'll make the munchkin version of Trading Spaces.
Barb
Hey Barbie.
Totally off topic, but awhile back you talked about how you had to pay your H off in the divorce. I am doing the same thing. Re-financing the house, paying him a chunk, and (ugh) giving him part of my retirement. So he is walking away with a ton of cash, and I am walking away with a bigger mortgage, and smaller retirement. The money split IS fair, it just seems so unfair.
I was wondering if you felt the same way back then.
Hi lwb:
NO, it is me who is "off topic" - surviving the big D is the topic for sure.
YES - I really felt it was unfair. I had to pay him to leave me and run off with maggot. VERY UNFAIR!
Fast forward 3 years (from the divorce). I can honestly say it was the best investment I ever made. An investment in my personal happiness.
Divorce is probably the biggest financial loss for any of us. And it truly sucks when we didn't want it. But in the long run - it's a way of cutting your losses. Losses in personal happiness, satisfaction of life etc. Because who wants to be with someone who doesn't want to be with them.
I never thought I could be this happy. Every day that he is not here is a gift. Because I used to walk on eggshells all the time. When he walked through that door - I never knew what I was gonna get. A lot of the time he was just down, depressed. And I HATED that.
I live in a happy home. I still work. I can earn more to make up for what I lost. But my health and wellbeing are worth more than money. My spirit. My joy. They have returned.
In time you will feel this way too. It sucks but it's worth it.
Barb
YES - I really felt it was unfair. I had to pay him to leave me and run off with maggot. VERY UNFAIR!
YES!!! You pegged it!! And wanna know what's really gonna tick me off...he has been googling vacation spots. I am assuming he'll take his big money and go on vacation. Blecky.
Because I used to walk on eggshells all the time. When he walked through that door - I never knew what I was gonna get. A lot of the time he was just down, depressed. And I HATED that
Yes, H always has battled depression but never got help. I *so* know how you feel.
I am not bitter about the house money (he is actually taking less than half in the end, but not by much). I am working past the bitterness about the retirement. But..like you said...
I still work. I can earn more to make up for what I lost.
So very true. Thank you for the reminder!
lwb:
It really sounds like you are going to be ok. Attitude is everything. And I've been at this a lot longer than you. You will be surprised how much better you will feel when the D is behind you. You still have small kids and this really sucks for them, but in the long run - I'll bet they'll be fine. It is often easier to parent alone (believe it or not), especially if the other parent wasn't "onside" with you all the time. I did most of the parenting anyway.
Becoming bitter is one of the worst thing> I struggled with it. I will never forget what happened. But I am getting past it. You will too.
Barb
I'll bet they'll be fine. It is often easier to parent alone (believe it or not), especially if the other parent wasn't "onside" with you all the time. I did most of the parenting anyway.
Its so much easier to parent without him around, and actually, I am sure he feels that way too. We are on the same side (most of the time) and back each other up, but I am just so darned uncomfortable around him at times, I am more on edge with the kiddos.
I don't want to be bitter. I have forgiven him but am having trouble forgetting and healing.
I need this to be officially over soon, it will just feel so much better. I know, I hear everyone saying "its just a piece of paper". And I know, it won't hurt less when its official, but I just need it to heal. Can't explain why.
Thanks for caring!
lwb:
I totally understand. I felt the same way too. Others here and some of my friends don't feel the need for the divorce. Even my L asked my why I wanted one. But some situations warrant it. My ex was very unpredictable and volatile. He even spent all of our daugther's education fund. Not someone I wanted attached to me financially in any way at all.
Times makes the pain go away. I will not ever forget what has happened but I do forget details until someone mentions them. Like yesterday - my best friend was saying how she remembers seeing me in a police car (that was 26 years ago this month). Ex had been suicidal (made several different types of attempts on the same day). The cops had found him in his car after overdosing on antidepressants. He had lay down to die. They came and got me, told me and took me to the hospital. I had remembered some of his attempts but had forgotten this part of it all. Part of me still wonders why I worked so hard to keep him alive and motivated only to have him hurt me so cruelly later on.
Sorry, off on a tangent. But I guess I'm trying to say that the memories dull after a while until it is brought up. It never goes away - it is part of your history, but it will get better.
Get your finality. You will move forward much faster in your life after that.
Barb
Morning Friends!
Another sunny day! Too much on my plate. Never got to packing yesterday but I did start cleaning out my cottage which gave me more travel wardrobe options. I will start in the next hour.
Today is a United Way lunch overlooking the Falls. I also need to clean my car (in and out) since I'll use the valet and no one wants to drive up in a dirty car. I'd like to do a bit of shopping as well and have to get stuff done for the w/e (like wrapping birthday presents for everyone there).
Heading to Buffalo late afternoon and sleeping over at my friend's home. She is flying with me early in the morning and lives about 10 min from the airport - BONUS! The others get in late afternoon. Not a lot going on other than Pep Rally, Tailgate party and football game. Of course we'll shop and do fun stuff.
Anyway, must get this day going.
Have a good one!
Barb
Thanks Barbie. And yes, I feel the need for this divorce. I am tired of my husband continuously cheating on me.
One more thing that's hard for me is that he is walking away paying NOTHING to me, no spousal, no child support. I didn't ask for spousal, and because of the 50/50 split of the girlies, and me making more money than him, I get no child support. I might have to get a better paying job.
So, yes, I am in my dream job and might have to change because I want to keep the girls in their house. I am bitter about that. I will have the same bills/bigger house payment and H will owe nothing. Even though its 50/50 the girls will be here a ton more than that, and he knows it.
Blah!
Sorry to cloud up your sunny day!!!
lwb: No clouds here! I understand totally. But sometimes we have to rise above it. I have a disabled son here. My ex walked and let's me take care of him for the rest of my life. But that's ok - far better than needing his opinion every time I seek medical help for him. Heck - I don't even inform him when he's in the hospital.
Barb
Gorgeous afternoon! The lunch was awesome! Leenie joined me. We were in seats right by the window, overlooking the Falls.
Been packing and getting ready for the w/e. Going to be fun. Have to get up EARLY tommorrow but its all good.
Hope Ash can deal with her drama while I'm gone. It is like a roller coaster. She works with her BF and former BF (the one she got back with last week) as well as the BF's ex girlfriend and her cousin and Ashley's cousin. Small world. And the BF's ex and cousin are on to her about "stealing" the BF. It is like Peyton Place. I never know from one minute to the next if she is with A, N, or single. I have advised her to step back from the drama. To put up her hand like a stop sign while working and let them know work comes first. But I know what it is like at her age. Every time Josh phones - he never knows what he's going to hear. I wonder what it is like for him. Someone who has never been married or have kids. Now I know why he is kind of afraid of her - LOL!
OK, can't stay here. Gotta finish packing and hit the road.
Have a Perfect Weekend!
Barb
Oh have a safe trip
and lots of fun
and take pics
Barb,
I just notices, you're rounding third toward 10,000 posts. There must be some type of prize for that!
Thanks Lis! I did take lots of photos!
EDITED - Disrespectful and mean-spirited. You must comply with the DivorceBusting.com Board Rules if you would like to continue the privilege of posting here.
OK, back to being Barbie!
Had such a fun w/e. Off with friends to the Homecoming at University of Iowa. My friend's daughter is the Golden Girl (baton twirler). We shopped and went to the Homecoming Parade, a pep rally, a Pre-game rally and the game. It was so much fun! My friend's sis (another good friend) roomed with me. She is also divorced. We spent more time laughing than doing much of anything else. Because life is fun. The bad stuff is in the past. The future looks better every day.
So, they lost the game but the spirit was awesome. We all went out to a neat restaurant where you can get any meal in a bowl. I had macaroni and cheese and it was GOOD!
Last night we hit the mall and had some retail therapy. Later we took my friend's younger daughter skating (indoor at the mall). The weather was the finest. 80-90F! and SUNNY!
I like my life. No, I LOVE MY LIFE! It is so good. So much better than it used to be. Because I made the choice to make every day count.
And this weekend was Grand!
Barb
YAY, Barbie's back!!!
Glad you had a great weekend. But aren't they all these days?
Now, about the "other" post......why don't you tell us how you "really" feel?
Hey Jilly Bean!
If I told you how I (and MANY other people) REALLY feel, I'd get shut down. Oh boo hoo hoo. I just can't see how someone who makes NO PROGRESS in 6 years can actually offer "moving forward" advice. Makes no sense at all. And in the spirit of this bb - this should be a place for friendships to be formed and grow, not to be trashed.
JMHO,
Bab
OK, back to being Barbie!
Had such a fun w/e.
The weather was the finest. 80-90F! and SUNNY!
I like my life. No, I LOVE MY LIFE! It is so good. So much better than it used to be. Because I made the choice to make every day count.
And this weekend was Grand!
Barb
Barb, I'm so glad you had a great time! And the weather...wow, we have been cool here in NY. And rainy lol.
Life is grand, isn't it? It's what we make it!
SE
Welcome Back Travlin' Barb!!
Great trip as per! Did you say hi to K for me? Did she say "who??" lol
Glad your back, now lets get this party started!!!
Hey Barb,
A good friend of mine from Iraq was from Des Moines, Iowa. Salt of the earth.
My life has been such a whirling dervish for the last couple of months, that I have not really had a chance to post to those who have kept me afloat from half a world away and closer to home.
I have some free time this morning, so I thought I would do the "12 step" thing, and post to those that I have just "taken from" the last year, and you would be one of those.
I really didn't post the whole weekend, because I was was busy with my son, as it should be. We had a ball. Love that kid! I go to visit my D16 in Philly tomorrow. She's in residential treatment now for the bulimia.
I stopped seeing a therapist when I volunteered for Iraq, and stopped taking medication as well. I was tired of the whole "LIFESTYLE". I'm sure you get that. I also seem to be posting less, unless a crisis hits, and I go into DEFCON ALPHA! If you think I am bad now, if you have some free time, look at some posts from me from September-December 2006.
I'm so sorry that you had to do it alone. I'm quite unsure how a parent walks out on their kids, especially a disabled one. Breaks my heart. My S10 is the center of my universe. I spent the whole weekend with him.
I wanted to say thanks for your months of selfless posting to me. I do slip back into being angry and cynical, but less than before. Just a condition of time, and help from folks like you.
It was of great help to me to hear from you, whether you knew that or not. I looked at myself at being such a failure, such an ogre for not meeting my W's. emotional needs. While I am certainly not Dr. Phil, I feel that I am a really decent human being, with the right priorities, and that some day, I'll hopefully find love again
I also felt that I didn't have a lot to offer in return.
You all helped me to see that a lot of that was not about me. I am eternally greatful.
Morning S.E.!
Wow, you are posting again! Love it! Love you!
Rainy? Oh my no! I was so lucky to be away then. It was GORGEOUS in Iowa. Just amazing! I was not sure what to pack but choosing the light clothing really worked.
Yes, I always say "Life is what we make it. And I'm making mine Fab!" Part of the "Lemonade Theory".
On to another wonderful week!
Hope yours is too!
Love Barb
Morning K!!!
Of course I told K that you said Hi! And she loves you back, ya know!
I told her we're all still besta friends here on the bb. She read a bit of DB and asked me who the "whack Job" was. She told me she is friggin' unbelievable. She's a nurse. Ha! Well, we knew that, didn't we. "Major attention getter with no life" is how she was described. And that was only a brief view in the concierge room on the pc since I left my laptop at home (YEAH ME!)
Oh, we'll be back in your neck of the woods before long no doubt. I love her so much and we always just have such fun together. Will want to see you and Ellie again. Maybe C2 as well.
Have a great day in Hot, Sunny Cali!
Love Barb
Morning FLTC!
Your post this morning has done my heart a world of good! I appreciate your kind words so much and am THRILLED to see you moving to a better place. It is SO hard to get there when all of life's horrors seem to be thrown at you at once. I coped by remembering I only had to get through one day at a time.
Yes, you have been through the mill. You are wise to know that you played a part in it (just as I did and everyone else on this bb). But we did not make the ultimate "BAD" choice that our walkaway spouses did. Still, we cannot dwell forever on what they did and stay in victim mode. We have to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and somehow make a new life from the pieces of our old one. If not for ourselves, for our children. Like me, you have had to endure the illness of your child on top of it all. But I always reminded myself that God never gives you more than you can handle.
Be strong, FLTC, and keep moving forward. I truly believe you have just conquered a major hurdle. I am so very proud of you and pleased to be your friend.
Have a great week!
Barb
Whoa, glad I read this before I went into work. My Boss is a U of Iowa graduate and I'm sure not very happy this morning!
So glad you're back and that you had a great time. Getting away is a goodthing and so rejunvenating!
Love,
Bethie
Happy Monday Friends!
No sunshine here in Barbie World today but that's ok - I NEED a rainy day in order to not feel guilty doing "inside" work. I intend to spend part of my day working (much directorial stuff to do for the studio) and the other part organizing. Months away have left things less than ship shape.
Ashley is struggling with her stuff right now but seems like she's getting through the worst of it. She often withdraws and doesn't talk to me about it. She did that as I was leaving on Wed and again a bit last night. But a mom knows when things are not so good so I had to push a bit to get her to open up with me. And here's what went down.
Last Monday she started her new fulltime job. Her ex boyfriend and new love interest both work there side by side. Her new interest's ex and her cousin also work there. Seems every one of them wanted a piece of Ashley. I tried to remind her that being single was the best choice she could make for a bit to let the dust settle. In the week prior she was changing back and forth betweeen the BFs, really struggling with choices and emotions. The ex and cousin were ganging up on her as well. So much drama for a young girl! When I left, I left a note "Have a great weekend, honey. Try to stay out of the drama. And please - try to stay single!"
When she finally talked to me last night she said "I took your advice and stayed single. It was difficult. The new love interest is not taking it well. She hung with ex as friends a bit. No pressure. No intent to start it up again. But new guy (whom she now does NOT want to be with since he is too controlling) is giving her and her ex a terrible time. And getting others involved too. I told her it was very "Junior High" and that it will pass. Just to let it be. She also told me she tried my "STOP" technique at work when others were hassling her and it worked. She seemed confident that it will end soon but I pray for her strength to get through yet another day.
As for me - I have renewed energy and spirit today. I am faced with a LONG to do list but will tackle things the best that I can.
Wishing you all a Fabulous Monday - just as I intend mine to be!
Barb
Barbie please note the edits above and on AG's thread. Please do not post to her again.
Excuse me??? Where were you when AG posted her hate filled stuff on another's thread?
Yes, this is BEYOND ridiculous. Does AG OWN this bb?
Barb
I guess the moderator will be busy because there is enough stuff written on the bb regarding AG to fill a forum. And most of it is representative of the digust everyone feels. Things that do not get resolved fester. Sweeping things under the carpet does not make them go away. The "IGNORE" feature is one of the silliest things on here.
I don't pick fights with people but I DO stand up for what I believe in and for those who were attacked by her.
I want a happy board again. Now that she is leaving - maybe peace will reign once more.
And it's funny how those who defend her rarely show up unless she whistles for them.
Barb
Bethie: Did your boss go to Homecoming? It was so much fun! Chuck Berry was the featured entertainer. For real! Not some Mike Lookinland Lookalike - LOL!
The game started off brilliantly. THe last 1.5 min of the game were BRUTAL. But so it goes in football.
It was all so much fun with my friends, though. And Chelsea (the Golden Girl) is having the time of her life at that school.
Barb
Hey Barb,
Isn't Iowa City a cute town? Believe it or not, that is where H and I had our honeymoon...bookworms that we are/were!
I got married in Dubuque, which is to the north. It was in December, the coldest day of the year. We were broke (of course) but wanted to experience some culture. HA! So Iowa City it was. Didn't go to Chicago because I didn't want to be around my family.
I have to say, the macaroni and cheese sounds good, and typical Iowa. When I moved there I gained 20 pounds! All that bacon...MMMMM, bacon.
All is sounding very good.
SG
Survival Goddess:
WOW - Iowa City! My friends that were with me travel a lot (like me). We all agreed that Iowa City has some very fine restaurants. The mall wasn't bad either. A little better than anticipated. And isn't that what we all like - keep your expectations low - sometimes you're pleasantly surprised.
We were lucky enough to have concierge rooms so we ate there often. They put out fine breakfast food and evening appetizers. Served wine. Nice touch!
I will go back next year because I had a blast. Josh likes College football so he'll likely be with me.
Barb
I so much want to see Chuck Berry while he is still shaking it!
Are both 'S' in Des Moines silent?
Barb,
I guess we are now allowed to post our e-mail addresses. I'm so glad that they lifted that restriction:
EDITED - Personal contact information is NOT ALLOWED. You must comply with the DivorceBusting.com Board Rules if you would like to continue the privilege of posting here.
Got your note........
EDITED - Personal contact information is NOT ALLOWED. You must comply with the DivorceBusting.com Board Rules if you would like to continue the privilege of posting here.
OK so I didn't know that we were giving our reall addresses.
EDITED - Personal contact information is NOT ALLOWED. You must comply with the DivorceBusting.com Board Rules if you would like to continue the privilege of posting here.
Hi Kerry:
I was very surprised to see Chuck Berry there, especially in what I considered a quiet midwest town. I was wrong!
Yes, both "s"s are silent. I was in Des Moines a few years back. Believe it or not - it was one of the first steps I took in my "Get A Life" plan. Met a DB guy at a party in Tampa who took photos. He lived in Iowa. He offered to take my photos at the Bridges of Madison County. I had told him I LOVED that movie! So we travelled to all the bridges and I have a wonderful photo album of memories. I was NOT ready to date at that point but it really improved my PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) and helped me remember that I have a lifetime ahead of me in which to grow, learn and teach. I learned a lot on that trip.
Barb
Oh, that's cool - of course you all know that I am...
EDITED - Personal contact information is NOT ALLOWED. You must comply with the DivorceBusting.com Board Rules if you would like to continue the privilege of posting here.Thanks AG for having that ban lifted. I knew you controlled the board.
Barb
why is everyone posting their email addys? and why to Barb? she has them lol
wth am I missing?? I need to get up earlier
K: AG posted her email address so SG could contact her. I thought she left the bb but apparently not. How many times can one person leave and return?
So, K - what's YOUR email address?
Barb
EDITED - Personal contact information is NOT ALLOWED. You must comply with the DivorceBusting.com Board Rules if you would like to continue the privilege of posting here.are we really doing this
and
Barb...don't you have all our addys already
Those who have posted their email addresses have been banned. If you would like to be reinstated, you must email virginia@divorcebusting.com.