The following words of wisdom came from a most unusual source. My ex!!!! He gave Ashley this Hallmark card. Interestingly, these are things he never seemed to achieve. One can only hope that through this journey he might have actually learned something but nothing in his behaviour has ever indicated so. I do know that he used to choose cards without reading them in the past. But maybe he is trying to say in this card all the things he has done wrong and hope his daughter doesn't make the same mistakes. Here it is...
"How To Make a Beautiful Life"
Love yoursel. MAKE PEACE with who you are and where you are in this moment in time.
Listen to your heart. If you can't hear what it's saying in this noisy world.
MAKE TIME for yourself. Enjoy your own company. Let your mind wander among the stars. Try. Take chances.
MAKE MISTAKES. Life can be messy and confusing at times but it's also full of surprises. The next rock in your path might be a stepping-stone.
BE HAPPY. When you don't have what you want, want what you have.
MAKE DO. That's a well-kept secret of contentment.
There aren't any shortcuts to tommorrow. You have to MAKE YOUR OWN WAY. To know where you're going is only part of it. You need to know where you've been, too. And if you ever get lost, don't worry. The people who love you will find you. Count on it.
Life isn't days and years. It's what you do with time and with all the goodness and grace that's inside you.
MAKE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE...
The kind of life you deserve.
Whoa...this came from Chuckie???
All I can say to what is in this card is AMEN.
Keyz:
Well, he didn't write it but yes - he gave it to Ash. Sometimes you wonder if they read it and it means something or not. I especially had to read and re-read the part about contentment. Chuck was NEVER content. Not ever. When we built a brand new home when I was 21, right after we moved in he called it a "step". WHAT? I was so happy I was sure they'd bury me in the backyard - a lifelong home. Not him. And our car? He decided when I was 22 that he would not sleep again until he knew he could own a Lincoln. Say what? We were struggling and about to have our first child. No, he was never content with what he had - always had to look elsewhere.
But it does say it all and I hope it sinks in for Ash
Barb
Bumping this so you all get a chance to read it. I think it speaks volumes about building a life after D.
Barb
Bumping this so you all get a chance to read it. I think it speaks volumes about building a life after D.
Barb
I'm sending this to my D. She's having a tough time lately. Thanks, Barb.
Jill: Are our daughters twins? GEESH! Hope K is ok.
Barb
BE HAPPY. When you don't have what you want, want what you have.
I love this the best, something I need to remember. Thanks Barb!
Barb...my ex is Chuck, too. I called him Chuckie up until my son was born - he is the new Chuckie.
Notice all the pop references to the name recently? There is a tv show now....
I loved the card, though....
BE HAPPY. When you don't have what you want, want what you have.
This got me through some really tough times. I would tell myself that there are people who have less. There are people who don't have healthy childen like I do, or don't have roofs over their heads, or enough food to eat, or so many things.
We CAN be happy if we choose to be, regardless of what other people do. We can be disappointed in others, but our happiness depends on our reaction to what other people do.
Great thread Barb.
Oh Donna,
Just half an hour ago I saw "Call Chuck" on a tv commercial while I was talking to Josh. And we were talking about how long it had been since I had actually talked to him. I think it has been 15 months.
But a year ago it was Chuck & Larry, Good Luck Chuck, the tv show Chuck. The tv show with Kelsey Grammer had a Chuck in it.
Time to chuck Chuck, don'tchya think?
I never liked the name really. But my first son's middle name is Charles for Chuck.
Barb
Karen: I always used to say to Chuck,
"Contentment comes not from having what you want, but from wanting what you have".
And he never got it.
But I guess he found it in Hallmark.
Barb
Thanks Happy! I thought of you when I wrote "BE HAPPY!" LOL!
As the mom of Ryan I can only say that I lived through one heartbreaking disappointment after another. And I continue to do so. And I was young. And vulnerable. But I learned to tough up. And deal with it. And deal with the drs. And deal with the lawyers. And deal with the school board (my nemesis at the time). And how did I do it? I realized that someone else was in a worse situation. (at times I really had to look hard to find that someone). But I learned to count my blessings, however meager they were. Like that Ryan survived. Or that Ryan was walking again. Or that I had great parents and siblings helping me. Stuff like that.
To me - it is about the "Lemonade Theory". Anyone looking at my life as it is - "Healthy son gets severe brain damage during illness, Husband takes off with another woman, deserting his family" - yep - those are the lemons. But I don't feel sad. I feel happy. Ryan lived for a reason. Maybe so I could teach people how we can make a great life out of very little. And he has a great life. And Chuck left. And that sucked. But my life with him was difficult. My life without him is not.
I've always been a "the cup is half full" kinda girl. And I can make something out of nothing. I truly wish that more people could see the importance of being grateful for what God has given them. And make the most of it. Because truly, every day in our lives is a gift.
Barb
Thanks Happy! I thought of you when I wrote "BE HAPPY!" LOL!
As the mom of Ryan I can only say that I lived through one heartbreaking disappointment after another. And I continue to do so. And I was young. And vulnerable. But I learned to tough up. And deal with it. And deal with the drs. And deal with the lawyers. And deal with the school board (my nemesis at the time). And how did I do it? I realized that someone else was in a worse situation. (at times I really had to look hard to find that someone). But I learned to count my blessings, however meager they were. Like that Ryan survived. Or that Ryan was walking again. Or that I had great parents and siblings helping me. Stuff like that.
To me - it is about the "Lemonade Theory". Anyone looking at my life as it is - "Healthy son gets severe brain damage during illness, Husband takes off with another woman, deserting his family" - yep - those are the lemons. But I don't feel sad. I feel happy. Ryan lived for a reason. Maybe so I could teach people how we can make a great life out of very little. And he has a great life. And Chuck left. And that sucked. But my life with him was difficult. My life without him is not.
I've always been a "the cup is half full" kinda girl. And I can make something out of nothing. I truly wish that more people could see the importance of being grateful for what God has given them. And make the most of it. Because truly, every day in our lives is a gift.
Barb
Barb,
My Ex was never content either..........I always had to remind him of what we had, he always thought about what we didn't have. Never satisfied....not even with the life HE created, so he ran and made a new one.
Talk about a disapointmente, that's all he is to me now! But like HT said, we can choose to be happy or not, it's just up to us.
The card does say some wonderful things, it's something to always keep in mind.
Barb, for some reason, I don't really think he read it, lol.
Friend:
I'm not so sure he read it either. But perhaps he has learned something (ok, I'm stretching) and wanted to teach some values to his daughter. One could always hope.
Yes, like you, he is a disappointment to me. But I was young and foolish and SO in love - what did I know. I've learned a thing or 2 on this journey called LIFE.
Barb