The New Ripley’s Believe it or Not! came out and I’m in it!!!! Pages 130 and 131!!
When last we met, I was bitching and moaning about my ex husband and his unbelievable new assertion that even though he makes nearly 40% more now than he did when we went through mediation in December and pays less than ¼ of his income for me to raise his four children [mostly] full time, his child support obligation is too much—says he can’t afford it.
He thinks I should be a respiratory therapist instead of an artist and assumes that I would make more money that way and so ants to work on a plan that would “impute” income to me.
I have done some research and have consulted with my D lawyer (who is now a deputy prosecutor and cannot offer official advice so it was “off the record).
The long and short of it is that ironically, Mitch would end up owing me MORE if I were to find myself working as an RT again. The reason is that with all the time I would need childcare, I could, on my side of things impute imaginary childcare costs against his imaginary imputed salary and voila—he’d end up owing me nearly $1,000 more a month. I worked it out on the worksheet.
The unofficial advice from the L is to write Mitch’s lawyer in an effort to avoid unnecessary legal expenses and give her my findings with the supporting documents (job listings and quotes from babysitting services). If he ends up taking me to court anyway, at least I can show that I tried to settle it out of court and I would ask the court to make him pay my legal fees.
I like the idea of not dealing with Mitch directly at this point. I do not trust him anymore to deal with me in a direct way. I will copy a letter to him though. I will keep it all very fact based and edit out my emotional response (which for me is always hard to do).
Anyway, back to the book—it came in the mail today. My oldest son brought it in when he came in from school and we shrieked with delight. It couldn’t have been better timing! It reminds me that I am doing exactly what I am best qualified to do. If I were to go back to work as a therapist, after being out of the biz for over a decade, it would NOT be what I am most qualified to do and it would NOT be in the best interest of the children and after all, that’s what it’s all about.
Love to all us brave souls.
Althea
p.s. Today is my 19th “un”niversary.
woot woot
i can't wait to buy the book
i love bragging about you to people
and
i am 1st and want a drink
surprise me!!!
mucho lovo to you today and all days
Thanks Figgy,
since I'm in a "I deserve to be loved and adored and served peeled grapes" kind of mood, howz about I summon Santhony to mix us up his new, yet to be invented "Queen of the World."
It will be savory and heady and make us swoon with passion and delight.
Wow thats great! soooo, maybe you mentioned it but what was it a world record for?? Whatever, congrats!
and happy unanny. I still like my unanny, I think about what i got out of it, my S. Sounds like you have some great kids too!
i love swooning
siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh
i had mead and thought of you
holy mackeral - just when you think they can't be any more nuts......yep there they go!
Congrats on being in the Believe it or Not book. That is sooo cool!
MMO...was it for the IAC link that OT posted (wow, that's a lot of letters!)
Tell us more!!
We'll have to talk shop sometime...what artmaking do you do? I teach, but work in chalk pastels and digital photo, too.
If that was a grant that you got (I know you were looking for one)--how incredibly awesome to be recognized for your talents and potential!!!
Absolutely Awesome Althea
Getting in the book is truly recognition of the unique nature of your work, and the talent you possess. If Santhony delivers on that drink we will all tip our own glasses as a well deserved toast in your honor.
You know, I have my own talent. I am working round the clock on inventing my People Shrinking machine. After I test it you must make me a really small poolboy uniform. I mostly want to perfect my invention so it can focus on individual body parts. Then I think we could reduce M's head to a size befitting his persona. I guess that might also greatly reduce the size of his brain, but it's not like anyone would notice.
Think of any extra funds you arrange for him to provide, as a second job. Getting the agreement and then getting him to pay might seem more like a second career, but it would be fair and appropriate in the end.
Speaking of the "end", I have an idea where we could shove his teeny wittle head after I find out how to shrink it.
Althea,
That is so wonderful. AND you are so worthy! Does this mean the lovely mini knit shawl I bought from you has now doubled in value - LOL! I AM a lucky girl!
I read your post the other night but it was locked by then. I have been thinking about you so much. You stick to your guns babe. You are doing what you were meant to do. And you are the mom of multiples. You are a great mom and need to be there for them growing up. Don't expect someone with his head stuck firmly in his butt to have a clue about parenthood. I already knew he didn't get it.
Your days to earn more will come but you doing get a do over at parenting. It really does pass quite quickly.
Ya know, we only "get it" more and more over time and as we are ready to "get it". You just got a lot all at once.
I can't imagine any family court judge would allow him to give you less. Hold out Althea. I have a good feeling it will all work out.
Now, where can I buy a copy. I want one. And did you know that the Ripley's museum is right in my hometown???
Barb
Donna,
Have you not seen Althea's work at
http://www.bugknits.com???Amazing...
Althea, that totally rocks!!!!!! You will be WAY more famous than your ex could ever dream of being!!!!!!
As for the financials, good job following through on those calculations. I like the idea of sending them straight to his attorney with the documentation - the attorney will quickly see that there's no point in pursuing it.
Hugs
Ellie
since I'm in a "I deserve to be loved and adored and served peeled grapes" kind of mood, howz about I summon Santhony to mix us up his new, yet to be invented "Queen of the World."
It will be savory and heady and make us swoon with passion and delight.
Ooooooooeeeeee, I'd like one of those too, please!!!!
Althea, your work is awesome and congrats on the book and the unanny!!!
Congratulations Althea!!!!
Ellie showed me your work when I was on the "DB Girls trip" in San Diego and I was totally amazed.
Way to go, Althea! I want an autographed copy for my classroom!
Hey MMO!
How are things going this week? Better I hope. Let me know how to get a copy, ok?
Barb
Hiya sweetness.
I am so proud of you!
Love you.
Talk to you soon
BESOS!
AWESOME! I have to check it out!!!
I hope dufus settles out of court and leaves you alone))))) will keep my fingers crossed for you
AWESOME! I have to check it out!!!
I hope dufus settles out of court and leaves you alone))))) will keep my fingers crossed for you
I don't know what it is about these morons wanting to go to court all the time, I guess its to try to validate thier actions. My XW has taken me twice and I have beaten the pants off of her both times and she wants to go again! LOL
BH: Sounds like she's a sucker for punishment. It's the opposite here. When my H is a real dick about paying for his kids I just calmly tell him I'll see him in court. He panics and pays. Works for me!
Barb
Yo friends,
It's been busy and Hurricane Ike found a way to wreak havoc up here in Indiana--knocked our power out for three days!
No updates on what my ex, the troll, is doing these days. He has the info and I will keep you all posted as to what he ends up doing with it According to my calculations, any imputation of income, added with associated child care costs will end up costing him more. So, we'll see what kinds of evil schemes he can still manage to pull off.
I just finished a really cool sweater and so I feel good about that It's different than anyting I've done before--I'll have to get some pics up opn my site soon.
Question: Are there warm, funny, romantic, intelligent, handy, sexy, open and deep men left in the world? Not that I'm looking...just pondering.
Love,
Althea
i have these two brothers....
So you've said Figgy...one of these days I'll have to meet them--they sound great.
I changed my home page to the new sweater. What do you think? The scuba sweater was good but I need to change things around every now and then. If anyone thinks the scuba pic was better though, let me know and I'll switch it back.
Love,
A
i love it!!!!!
i am so in awe
i couldn't do those regulation size much less micro mini
siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh
and
the idea of being your sister in law makes me passout from pleasure
siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh (again)
I've heard about guys like that, but all I know is a$$holes like me.
Althea -
I checked out the new sweater - you are an Artist with a capital A!
Ellie
The new Sweater is Fab. I was so nervous holding your work sugar. I am so happy I was able to see your beautiful work in person. I can't wait to get the book.
Luv ya
Thank you luvvy doves.
I'm going to a luau tomorrow. Pig roast and hay-rides and performers and musicians. I love this town and the peeps in it! The guy who is having it lives on a farm and has pigs, water buffalo, quail etc. He'll be slaughtering on of his pigs for the party--I think it will be the first time so he's nervous and sad about it but I think it's very brave.
Anyway, I'm taking the kids and we may camp out so's I can get hammered if I feel like it.
Anyway, life is good right now--the troll has not filled me in on his next move so I'm sort of just waiting for him to spring his next unpleasant surprise on me as he is so apt and likely to do.
I took the MB test and discovered I am an INFP. I betchya Mitch is the exact opposite. They say that opposites attract but in the long run it is harder for the opposites to get along because they just do not function in the same way and cannot really understand the way the other thinks. Makes sense.
Love yiz,
Althea!
Beautiful work, Althea!
That luau sounds like so much fun. Pig roast. Yum!!!
Interesting about that test. And interesting about being opposites. It does make sense.
Gorgeous new sweater--defintiely keep the pic up.
I think I was INFJ, but I haven't done that test in ages. My H's profile is very similar as I recall, FWIW.
Be well. Enjoy the luau!!
The Troll has responded--not good. I think I'll be lawyering up and we'll have to do battle in court. He's a real slime. I was going to post his belabored email but it is really so icky to me and long and Mitch-like that I decided to let it die in the compost heap of internet garbage where it belongs.
He'll never change. He is whining about how he can't pay his bills. Blah, blah, blah. I am done dealing with him and will have my L deal with it (when I find an L). I'd like to find the humor in it--maybe in a few days or weeks.
I'm a little sapped of energy at the moment--I feel sad that it has come to this. I think that all my efforts to restrain my anger at him has not really amounted to anything. I have worked so hard to be "nice" and cooperative and all it has done was make him feel more able to manipulate me. I think he sees me as weak and knows that I won't put up a fight because I am, at my core, a "peacemaker" and don't enjoy conflict.
I don't want to have his anger toward him in my heart and I will work toward letting it go, but right no, I have to admit, I am feeling hate.
Goodnight my friends, I'll keep keeping you posted.
Love
A
ugh
i am so showing up with the stare
no joke
do you know of any good lawyers?
I was going to post his belabored email but it is really so icky to me and long and Mitch-like that I decided to let it die in the compost heap of internet garbage where it belongs.
Ahhh, how could you deprive us of the fun of making up some new names for him?????????????????
Now - he's threatening, but that doesn't mean he'll follow through. His lawyer will probably tell him it's not worth pursuing. When he complains about his financial problems, just admit that yeah, divorce is very tough financially on both parties - at least HE has OW to help him with expenses, while you have no one - yet
Ellie
Althea,
I have a sneaking suspicion there is a bun in the oven or a plan for one.
Hmmmm....but they don't make leather maternity pants, do they?????
Hey OT--it would take some doing if that were the case--he's been "fixed", though I know one can become "un" fixed. However I simply do not see Mitch as ever wanting more kids--but what do I know? I obviously do not even know him. I do recall a conversation we had not too long before he left when he asked me something about being able to extract sperm directly out of the epiditymis (okay, probably the wrong anatomical location--but you get the point). I remember thinking it was weird because I knew we were done having kids.
But something's brewing, of that you are more than likely right. I'm waiting for him to drop the "we're getting married" bomb. In a weird way, I'm almost looking forward to a face off in court. We'll see. Ellie, I think you are right too--he's just threatening to see if he can make me quiver with fear and cave to his demands. It almost makes me laugh that he thinks I will just voluntarily agree to have him reduce his child support simply by his reasoning. He acts like he wants to settle out of court, but that's only if I agree to his terms. he pretends it is open for negotiation, but the fact is, he has it in his mind he will reduce CS by a few hundred a month and he KNOWS I will cave. He will be surprised when I do not. He doesn't seem to "get" that it will take a judge to agree to impute income to me and he and his lawyer will have to try to make a convincing case for it--frankly, I don't think they can. He must prove that:
1. It is in the best interest of the children
2. that I am willfully unemplyoed or underemployed
3. that the imputed income is reasonable for my level of training.
He will be hard pressed to make a case on any of those points.
Lordy I need some lovin'!!!
Love,
Althea
Althea:
I love you! Does that count?
Barb
Althea
my students are impressed that i know a famous person like you
i am sooooooooooooooooo exploiting your fame!!!
I do recall a conversation we had not too long before he left when he asked me something about being able to extract sperm directly out of the epiditymis (okay, probably the wrong anatomical location--but you get the point)
Okay - a guy with plenty of kids and a vasectomy does NOT talk about this unless he is thinking about having more kids with Miss Leatherpants - sorry to break it to you, but better to be prepared.
Vasectomies can be reversed, too, although the success rate is only mediocre.
I know it's small of me, but here's hoping Miss Leatherpants blows up like a blimp if she gets pregnant, can't lose a pound of the weight afterwards, and is one of those high-maintenance whiny bitchy pregnant women. Just because, it would serve Mr. IwanttorunawayfrombeinganadultfamilymanandliveaDINKlifewithmyintellectualcompanion right to find himself stuck back in a version of domesticity that doesn't even BEGIN to compare to how good he had things with you!
Ellie
Oh gosh
Please say it isn't so!
Can't get rid of this new mental image of leather "Pullups"
Eeeewwwwwww .... brain soap !!!!
Why do some men think "reproducing" validates manliness? Acting like a man validates; right?
Couldn't he just get a little blinking badge to wear that says "MAN" ? Ok, I guess he would want a big blinking badge. Whatever .....
Althea I thought I'd catch up on you. I only read your very last post and it tells me that Mitch is still being an a**e! Good for you that you are remaining strong.
It won't be long before my D is over and done with now. I'm not sure if I will join the community in surviving but I guess I will only know for sure once the D is final.
Take care