Hello Friends,
Last thread
here. I had my biopsy on Thursday. About 7 years ago I also had six biopsies. That first experience was one of the worst of my life. It was that year or so in between "bombs"...I had discovered H's affair by checking the cache on the home computer. I was looking after my teenage son, never expected to see the list of suggestive e-mails from OGIRL. The shock sent me reeling, and I know many here can relate. Shortly after that I had my 6, 3 in each breast. The way I was treated by the radiologist's office was with as little compassion as you can imagine. I was shocked enough to have to go in for one, and they didn't tell me until I was there that I was going to have SIX! I was herded from room to room for each procedure or step of the procedure, and basically treated quite callously. That was on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, so it is even more indelibly etched into my mind. *sigh*
That was the beginning of the end of my marriage, and in my mind I felt as if my heart had been pierced.
This last experience couldn't have been more different...in a good way. The office (different doctors, different health plan)was as nice as possible. They treated me with respect every step of the way, explained everything completely and even had me laughing during the procedure! My friend drove me there and spent the day with me, took me out to lunch afterwards. Then a different friend came over last night and cooked me dinner. Today a third friend accompanied me to the store, since I am not allowed to lift for a few days.
And I feel as if the two experiences have effectively bookended my divorce and my break up.
And I feel as if my heart is now open to possibilities, not being wounded by lies and deception.
And I feel a big change a-comin on.
SG
Hey Ellie,
Got your e-mail and number. My internet is sporadic for now, but I will try again to send you something!
SG
SG!
I am so glad this last time was a better experiene for you, as it should be! Cant believe they would treat a patient/person like that! no excuse at all.
So you will be getting results soon?
I like the way you say it bookends your life before and after D,
I have realized this week, things do still come up , memories and we are still a work in progress, but in the end, now, its soooo much better isnt it?
Have a good weekend!!
SG,
Saying a prayer for GREAT results!
sg
SG, also praying for your results.
It just seems like a number of us are ready for some awesome things to happen in our lives and with those positive expectations, we seem to draw those things towards us.
We have seen how others, further along in their "surviving/thriving" phases have experienced really good things in their lives and so we know they will come.
Keep us posted.
Hello Friends, happy Sunday!
Well, I am still waiting on my results. Thanks for all the prayers and good wishes! My doc left me a message on the machine, but he didn't leave any info! I am not sure if that is a good sign or a bad sign, it is putting me a little bit on edge.
Things are progressing nicely w/CG...He seems to be the one pursuing
me...called me twice yesterday to see what I was doing, I was busy each time, but then we agreed to meet for drinks. He wanted me to call him when I was ready, and then I could meet him at the place. Well, I didn't realize he was already OUT! So when I had called him he was already back home. He invited me over, and we did that thing referred to in 98% of all match.com ads "cuddled on the couch while watching a movie"
He was very nice about my procedure...He said, "You could have told me...Did anyone go with you...I could have driven you...I'm sorry you're not feeling well...are you OK?...etc."
Tonight he is my date at a bbq. party...He will be meeting some of my friends for the first time! A little nervous. But very pleased. He is coming over to my house for drinks and appetizers first, then on to the party.
Hope everyone is enjoying the official start of summer. And let's remember those who have fallen in service to our country.
SG
My doc left me a message on the machine, but he didn't leave any info! I am not sure if that is a good sign or a bad sign,
FWIW, SG, the new HIPAA rules make doctors squeamish about leaving messages on answering machines, should someone else take the messages off and hear something you didn't want them to hear.
Either way, if I see you next week I'll bring you some info on breast health and things you can do.
The new guy sounds like he might be a keeper!
Ellie
Hi Ellie,
Yeah, I totally understand about privacy issues. I remember, back in my "salad days" w/H I was a house cleaner. I was often surprised at the intimate/private messages that people would leave on the answering machine. I could hear every word! It was embarrassing sometimes.
I will try to make it Sunday. Will call you probably Friday to confirm.
SG
SG,
Sending positive thoughts for positive results your way!!!
Glad to hear things are moving along with CG. Gee, weren't you the one just a few months ago that was lamenting "never" finding someone you wanted to spend time with???? Doncha just love it when a plan comes together???
SG...here's hoping for some marvelous results!!!!
Hi Queenie,
Thanks for the well wishes and the visit! Things are moving along nicely w/ CG I think. We had a date yesterday. He came over w/flowers for me! We walked over to a bbq that some friends of mine were having. They are an older couple...in their 70's and we were easily the youngest people there! It was fun, CG was tolerant of my senior friends.
We talked last night (briefly) about his "problem" with "emotional closeness"... I would have liked to have discussed this more, but I just said that I personally found therapy valuable.
He also said that we should eventually get the dogs together. He has 2, one of them is a known fighter, a pit bull/whippet rescue that is a wonderful dog, but she is territorial. I suggested we take them on a walk together in neutral territory. I am not willing to put my sweet Argo in danger but I do think that controlled introductions will work. It really could be good because his dog is about the same size/energy/intelligence as mine and I think they could be good friends once the initial stage of "getting to know" is over.
Throughout the evening he made references to things we should do in the future...He will show me his old house that he built, I will meet so and so, he will enroll his daughter in a class I might teach this summer.
It is fun getting to know someone!
SG
Thanks Figgie!
I wish the Doc just hadn't said anything! It would have been better to have a conversation rather than no conversation and knowing he knows the results.
I will post as soon as I know.
xoxo
SG
i hate the not knowing
it makes me gnaw off my hands!!!
blech
SG and CG... hmmm if you guys ever hook up for good, you won't have to change your last initials
Happy to seeyou excited about the gettinng to know each other process. It IS fun and he sounds like he IS working on the emotional closeness. Good for him.
Good things are coming the way of so many around here, let's just assume the same is going to be true for you in your R and with your Health
Best possible news!
Thanks everyone!
Now another mammogram in 6 months. I do think all this testing and looking is causing more harm than good in my case...
The doc says my "busy breasts" should settle down once I am over menopause.
Thanks again for the prayers and good wishes.
SG
oh yay!!!!
congratulations SG!!!!
(damn menopause)
hey
at least your breasts are busy!!!!
Hey Goddess,
Great news! Hopefully now you can sit back and enjoy your summer and your time with CG.
at least your breasts are busy!!!!
Yeah mine don't want to do anything!
Love,
Bethie
OH I am so glad SG!!
I have been checking in on you!
and wohhhooo about CG, the man likes you girl!! flowers!!!
Thank you all SO MUCH!It is amazing to me the support we get from the BB whenever we really need it. Thanks again each and every one of you...
And yes, at least my breasts are busy...but I wish they would quit it, already!
Speaking of "quit it"...I got the boot from CG yesterday. This time it is for real. After a nice weekend, Saturday and Sunday dates, flowers on Sunday, lots of "future talk" during our date, things like getting the dogs together and doing various things in the un-specified future...he sent me an e-mail that in part said,
"I alluded to the fact that I'm somewhat emotionally broken. I don't know exactly how to fix that. When I was in therapy about 3 years ago, I talked about it and never came up with any solutions. And still don't have a clue as to how to change things. I don't want to do the therapy thing again because I just don't think it will do any good." ...and then
"I think I frustrate you because you see some potential in me. I just feel like I disappoint all woman that I've gone out with since my divorce. Once I get to a somewhat serious stage I panic and bail. I'm just babbling on. Trying to explain myself.
"So I called him and we talked a bit. The next day he sent me an e-mail saying that he had met someone a few weekends ago and wanted to pursue things with them.
Well it hurt for a few minutes, but Girlfriend Therapy has helped immensely! I am ready to move on, and I will chalk this experience up to further preparing me for my Beloved!
The Girlfriend I spent the afternoon with yesterday is in a great relationship...but after her WAS left she was devastated, 3 kids, hard times, etc. She shared with me some of her dating stories before she met her new guy...She said, and I believe this is true, that the whole dating process allows one to learn about yourself and apply that knowledge to the next situation. As she said, "SG, you now have that one under your belt." She described the evolution of her dates as she gained more confidence and self esteem. And the guy she is with now worships the ground she walks on.
This same Girlfriend also pointed out a few things that she did not like about CG. A few little things about him that just jumped out at her, that I didn't even notice or care about.
Oh well. This so-called "relationship" was way too much work and drama. I don't mind dating a flawed man, because we are all flawed in some way. I DO mind it when someone won't take responsibility for their own growth and how they affect others.
The dates we had and the times we were actually together were quite enjoyable, however. So that part was good.
Just on to something better! Something worthy of a Goddess!
SG
Just on to something better! Something worthy of a Goddess!
Amen, girlfriend!!!
Ellie
he didn't deserve your beauty
find the one who does
and make all the other ones along the way pay for dinner!!!!
SG
You are so right! No one is perfect but man up and own it buddy!
Geeze and what, his way of "dumping" is giving a song and dance first, then you find out he was dating, well sorry for that woman, Too much drama for sure from him. I am sorry tho, cause I know it does hurt at least for a bit.
((( SG )))
Hey you have your health! and to me thats the most important thing about last week!!!
I met someone not long before B, and I really liked him, same thing, he was a yoyo- made future date plans, called then didnt--- well I went on my cruise, came back and he too gave me some story of him not being whole ( his D was 10 yrs old) and then it came out, yes he had met someone and while i was away decided to pursue, ok so SAY that. Here I was feeling sorry for him! eesh
Your life is full and great SG and if someone comes into it ,,lucky them!!
Hi SG: I wanted to post to you last week but my cable got cut. I am in BC with my best friend and have a teeny bit of pc time.
She is a breast cancer survivor. Her ultrasound recently showed something and she had to undergo another biopsy. So similar. Yesterday I went with her to the surgeon. She had test results from both it a colonoscopy. All is great - it was so good to be with her for good news!
Anyway, hope all your news is good news. That sucks about CG but I LOVE your attitude! You are right - you deserve better and you will get it when the time is right. Keep your standards high. I fell really hard for someone and he treated me badly just before I met Josh. I was sure he was "the one". Turns out the one was waiting around the next corner. I had been devestated but picked myself up, dusted myself off and tried once more.
I just wanted to let you know today that I'm thinking about you. Get out for a walk - you never know who is waiting around the corner.
Hugs,
Barb
Hi Fig!Thanks!
and make all the other ones along the way pay for dinner!!!!
at least CG did that! LOL! and I will never go "dutch" again!
SG
Hi Fig!Thanks!
and make all the other ones along the way pay for dinner!!!!
at least CG did that! LOL! and I will never go "dutch" again!
SG
Hi Karen!
I sorta remember that happening...It is all good and all for a reason. Yeah, and the best thing is that I am healthy and ready to put everything into my life I can to make it the best possible one for ME (and ARGO of course!)
I am scheduling a massage soon and it is back to the yoga mat for me as well.
Time to dust off those old DB GAL tricks and put them to use!
SG
Hi Barb!Thanks for the hugs and well wishes. It is interesting to me that both you and Karen had a near miss before you met your current beaus.
I am invited to work very part time at the snack bar at the local small airport. This is where my GF met her current BF. She says there are guys that come in from all over the world. Airplane owning guys. I just am ready to meet someone in "real life".
The e-harmony thing is not really catching on fire, but that is OK.
I hope the weather in BC isn't too cool for you. It has been a little cool here.
Take care,
SG
Hi SG:
I just wanted to stop by and post that I am SO GLAD that your busy breasts are just being annoying as opposed to something more.
As for CG, your gut was right on with him. You went slow, took an emotional risk - and gave yourself the time you needed to see if your gut was right - or clouded by your own fears.
I hope I am able to handle a similar situation with as much grace while battling my own fears and insecurities.
take care,
AG
Hi AG,
Yeah, the going slow part has made this next phase (breakup) so much easier. Just one day later and I am laughing about it.
You sound pretty busy yourself!
Glad you can schedule some steam and massage in! That is good "self-care"
SG
Hmmmmm...SG planning to meet rich guys with Lear Jets?
Ellie
(Posted this on my thread and wanted to share with a a few others as well
)
Happy Friday to you!
Expecting wonderous things today!! Birds are singing their praises, I still have my health and my kids love me unconditionally. Got food on the table, a roof over my head (for now) and I get to help people on my job on a daily basis, work with some loving and caring people...oh, and my Lakers won!
Indeed, it is a wonderful life!
Sincerely Yours,
George "C2H" Bailey
Hey there "George"!
It is a wonderful life, even if the Lakers did win! Ha Ha!
Today my son turns 22. I get to see him, and a dear friend who used to babysit him and his sister when they were tiny!
There are other wonderful things out there for me as well.
SG!
Happy Birthday to your son!!!
He'd probably appreciate the trip S21 just took. His roommate was turning 21, so they went to Vegas. No, not to drink, gamble, and ogle showgirls. They went to go to the Star Trek experience!!!
Nerds rule!
Ellie
I went to that Mexican place we went to w/your son last night. In line in front of me was his best friend and her girlfriend. I joined them while I was waiting for my friend...
I asked them what to get S for his B-day. S is NOTORIOUS for being terrible to buy for. He just has very simple taste and does not have many desires. They begged me to get him some decent clothes! LOL!
He does dress a lot better now that he has a stylish Berkeley Architect Major Girlfriend...but in true nerd fashion he just doesn't pay attention to his clothes.
So I was glad for the tip. He does wear what I get him, usually!
SG
LOL your funny K!
Reminds me of the infamous Conan O'Brian spoof w/ the rude puppet dog.
Happy B.day SGs son!!
Boys are soooo hard to buy for I know! Rys b.day was last month and of course a week before Grad I was tormented! lol
Well I hope its a good one for him, ahhh to be young like that again!
Sounds like a good plan!
Weather is sunny and should hit 70 today. Not bad!
Off to do some nice things today with the Grand Doggy.
Barb
Hi SG, I have been following along, glad your health is fine. and you are well. I hate to go back to old news but I wonder about the guy you dated. What didn't your girlfriend like about him? Did you ever visit his home? Did you have a home phone number? Are you sure he was divorced? How did you know that?
You don't have to answer all these questions, but I may just step out there again some day. I didn't like the sob story of his trauma. Guys don't just spill that kind of stuff so soon. Or do they? And the next person in the wings already...
But I wasn't there, just curious, and you know I hit a true bad one so testing my ability to weed them out! Wonder
Hi Wonder,
Here are some answers.
My girlfriend remembered something he said way back when we first met, which was last June. I have actually known him about a year. So spilling after "so soon" doesn't quite apply. We dated last summer briefly and then started up again this spring.
He said right after he first met me that I would look really "hot in retro glasses" and then later this spring he said I would look cute with short hair.
My friend said, "How dare he try to change you. He doesn't get to do that! I don't like that he is trying to make you look a certain way." She also thought he was a little too full of himself and arrogant.
I have visited his home multiple times, his office once and met one of his daughters. I know he is divorced, and there is PLENTY about him on the internet because of his business. His home phone is in the book.
He lives in my mid-sized town and we know many of the same people.
I do think he has been telling me the truth all along that he has trouble with relationships. Duh!
I also agree (with another girlfriend) that he probably did have feelings for me and cared about me on some level.
He is just severely conflicted. And he refuses to do anything to heal himself.
As I have said, ultimately this is a good thing. Any break-up is difficult, and we weren't even that serious. I am fine. There was way WAY too much drama connected with him.
However, every single date I had with him was very very nice, and I enjoyed the time we were actually together.
It was the spaces between those times that were hard. And too long.
Thanks for the good wishes about my health!
SG
I'm doing the "happy dance" for your health report!!!
What a relief!!!
(((SG))),
I don't think I've ever posted to you, but I was so enchanted with the first post on this thread, that i kept reading, and here I am at the end. Just wanted to say Hi, and three cheers for your good news. Also, how weird about CG, he sounded just like my MLC XH, to be honest. It's an epidemic, I guess!
Anyway, I really liked the the inspiring bookends post, thanks and stay well.
Hugs,
AH
Hi AH,
Thanks for the nice feedback on my posts! RE CG, I do think there is a difference between someone acting out while in a committed relationship and someone dating more than one person at a time. CG was somewhat schizophrenic in the way he communicated w/ me...on the one hand, "I can't commit, I am emotionally broken, I have trouble w/ relationships" yet on the other hand, "I like you and want to get to know you, you are terrific, you can call me, I would have driven you to your appointment, etc."
Also thanks for the cheers!
best,
SG
Happy Sunday Morning Friends!Very busy weekend...I had a GREAT time w/son and friends including S's girlfriend on Friday for his birthday. Later today (sooner rather than later, actually) I should see Ellie and then some other friends who are visiting the area. Whew! the GAL stuff can keep a gal busy!
Processing the breakup...Well, in the time honored way of
John Cusak in High Fidelity I like to make mix-tapes as part of my breakup process. I was a DJ in the 80s, so this is a fun creative outlet for me...
So here is the list for the CG mix tape: (Note to younger readers... a "tape" is what we used in the olden days before MP3s!)
Don't you forget about me- Simple Minds
I'm So Afraid- Fleetwood Mac
I'm No Good- Amy Winehouse
I'm a 8!tch, I'm a Lover-Alannis Morrisette
Girlfriend is Better-Talking Heads
What's Love Got to do with It-Tina Turner
Kiss-Prince
Too Experienced-Bodysnatchers
Good Riddance-Green Day
Hope you all have a great day!
SG
Life after the Big D...
Includes pain,
challenges
disappointment
hope
fear
obsessions
sadness
and frustration. Just like life before the Big D...
But it also includes:
Joy,
Hope,
Laughter,
Friends,
Happiness,
Support,
Connectedness,
Life,
and Magic...
Just like life before the big D
I had an amazing weekend filled with time with very special people...including my wonderful son, one of my FAVORITE people on the planet.
One door closes so that another may open!
SG
I like your attitude, SG!!!
Hey there, SG -
So sorry we missed you yesterday. We had fun - okay, it was a TOTAL FLOG. Got to the apartment, landlord announce he has to shampoo the carpets! Drove to Home Depot to get some plastic sheeting runners so we can at least put all the stuff into the kitchen. S21's roommate arrives mid-afternoon and his dad stays just long enough to help carry his son's things up, then has to split for work. Said roommate then had to go to a meeting, and another long one this am. SO - mostly S and I shopping, lugging, organizing, and furniture building.
Still - we got some sweet deals. A great black futon sofa, barely used, not a scratch on it, for $150. A XL twin mattress set and frame, less than a year old, for $100. (Thank you, Craig's list!). Some good garage sale finds and some stuff at Big Lots.
It's astounding how much it takes to set up even a student apartment from scratch, but I think we did a good job of budgeting. S21 is so excited about cooking! He made up a menu for the week before we shopped for groceries.
I left him today in the middle of assembling his new desk (man, those people at Frys have GOT to take a lesson or two from IKEA. This desk we bought at Frys required 3 different sizes of screws, included wood glue and about fifty million steps. I hope he finally got it together. Next to that, the IKEA dining table will be a cinch to put together.)
Anyway - you didn't miss anything but a bunch of schlepping!
Ellie
Goddess,
love your perspective! I also sense, our journey results in us handling the things of the former category with more patience and a more healthy perspective while also helping us to cherish the things of the later category with much more appreciation and gratitude, taking them not for granted.
I need to learn to make up menus!!!!
ugh
he is so good!!!
Hi Ellie,
Well, I guess I am glad I missed a total FLOG! LOL! Craigslist is great, also my DD has found furniture on the market place on Facebook...does your son have a space there?
I was in Emmeryville in the early afternoon, and then we all had dinner at my friend's aunt's house in Oakland, a beautiful custom home. The family is Chinese, so it was very Asian and had a lovely zen aesthetic. Very open and spacious. Tons of delicious home made food. But I was beat after driving to the bay area 2 times last weekend! and gas is about $4.50/gallon!
Hope your son is settling in and the roommate steps up to the plate more during the rest of their time together!
SG
Thanks C2H!
SG
SG, I knew you already knew felt the same way. Keep doin' what your doin' and sharing the good stuff with us. I just see so many good things happening around here and it is just encouraging to those who maybe lurk and wonder if it is ever going to get better for them. We know it can get better.
Hi C2H...
Sharing the good stuff...Well, it has been 2 weeks since I got the boot from CG...and while it sometimes hurts a tiny bit (like today when I think how nice it was to cuddle and talk) I don't miss the schizo yoyo-ness of the way it was all going.
Had 2 nights out w/ girlfriends this week. An impromptu matinee to see
the Visitor (AG if you haven't seen it, I recommend...) and then after the movie we had dinner. These friends are all part of a Divorce care group. While I never actually did the DC program, all of the others did. We meet just about weekly.
The following nite was the usual Thursday night hen fest. I feel that compared to most of these others I have really, really moved on. I hardly ever think of the ex. I am not filled with sorrow or anger when I do. Well, maybe a little anger. But no sadness. and I DEFINITELY do not MISS him AT ALL!
Most of my lady friends have been apart from their ex's for 5 years or more. 2 of them are in wonderful committed relationships. Yet they still seethe in anger when thinking about their exes. Oh Well...
I wanted to say something about things happening in just the right time.I have an interview for a job that I really want, on Monday. All my current stuff runs out on the 13th...my last paychecks will be on July 1.
There are also 2 other pretty good nibbles...
How is that for timing!
Have a great weekend everybody!
SG
Hi SG!
Well, it has been 2 weeks since I got the boot from CG...and while it sometimes hurts a tiny bit (like today when I think how nice it was to cuddle and talk) I don't miss the schizo yoyo-ness of the way it was all going.
I don't like the phrase "got the boot" - I would prefer "It's been 2 weeks since CG demonstrated a definite lack of capacity to appreciate a Goddess."
I googled The Visitor and it sounds great. No theaters are showing the movie w/in 30 miles of where I live... I have added it to my Netflix list.
feel that compared to most of these others I have really, really moved on. I hardly ever think of the ex. I am not filled with sorrow or anger when I do. Well, maybe a little anger. But no sadness. and I DEFINITELY do not MISS him AT ALL!
That is exactly how I feel! There was a "moment" of nostalgia when I watched PS I Love You last night. The main character had met her H in Ireland while on a college trip. I had met The X while on spring break in Europe - and at the time it was very romantic - I had a "what if" moment. But it passed.
I think I would like a little romance in my life... It is kinda nice being pursued and adored...(by someone I find attractive)
I have an interview for a job that I really want, on Monday. All my current stuff runs out on the 13th...my last paychecks will be on July 1.
So how did it go? And do you still like them?
take care,
AG
Hi AG!
So how did it go? And do you still like them?
Thanks for asking! It went really well. Over 600 applied for this position. I have passed 2 hurdles so far. Waiting to hear if I get a second interview. And I not only still like them, I LOVE them!
I also really like this:
CG demonstrated a definite lack of capacity to appreciate a Goddess.
Good to remember!
Happy Tuesday Evening!
This is the last week of school in my area. I have been thinking of Figgy today because we are letting teachers go this year due to budget cuts and declining enrollment. As the on-site computer geek I get to help those who are leaving back up their lesson plans to CD or flash drive. It is a mixed bag emotionally. Some are stoic, while others are angry. Quite a few are able to fall back on a spouses' income, which is a problem for the rest of us who work in education and have to support ourselves.
Everyone is asking me if I will be back in the fall. While I really enjoy what I do there, it is more of a token stipend than a reasonable salary for someone like me. In my perfect world I would be able to do a "real" job (the one I just interviewed for) and telecommute. This would free me up to work with the teachers at least a little bit.
I am on a little bit of a mission to try and meet new people as often as possible. I am finding the dog park to be a good place for that! LOL!
I am going to a party for a dear friend who turns 40 this week. Hard to believe, but he used to babysit my kids when they were 1 and 2, so I have known him 20 years! That is this weekend, and should be a lot of fun.
The quandry is that I will be staying overnight and I need doggie care. Hope to have that worked out soon.
I know a lot of high school students who are graduating on Friday. Also going to a grad party for a young man I have known for 17 of his 18 years.
Busy week! I hope I get a breather of a day or two before I start my new job!SG
Busy week! I hope I get a breather of a day or two before I start my new job!
Keeping all my extremities crossed for you, SG!!! Let us know how the 2nd interview goes.
Hey SG
Just savin ya from page 2
Any news??
Thanks Karen...
No news yet. Thanks for asking.
Spent the evening at the HS graduation. I knew about 1/4 of the graduating class!
Big fun.
Life is interesting...
SG
I live fairly close to a large grocery store that also has a juice/coffee bar inside. I occasionally splurge on a non-fat latte to go...not too often since my inner tightwad hates spending $3.00 on something I can make at home, but once in a while it is a fun thing to do.
Recently the young man who fixed my coffee made my day. He rang me up, and I thanked him as I paid. He gave me my change, looked me right in the eyes, and said,
"It's my pleasure!" This guy is probably in his 30s and fairly good looking. I was thrilled! I almost called my sister to tell her that this cute guy was flirting with me at the store! But I contained myself and went on my way.
Later that same day, I went back to the store to pick up some groceries. I walked by as that same gentleman was helping someone else. I then heard him say to her...
"It's my pleasure!" Some weeks after that I was again at the coffee bar, this time with my neighbor girlfriend. This same young man helped us with our smoothies. After we left, she told me that he helped her one time and also said,
"It's my pleasure!" to her! She thought he was flirting with her, too!
The other night I told this story to my Thursday night girlfriend group. They thought that he was like a self-esteem angel, spreading joy to women every time chance he could. Ha ha!
I live fairly close to a large grocery store that also has a juice/coffee bar inside. I occasionally splurge on a non-fat latte to go...not too often since my inner tightwad hates spending $3.00 on something I can make at home, but once in a while it is a fun thing to do.
Recently the young man who fixed my coffee made my day. He rang me up, and I thanked him as I paid. He gave me my change, looked me right in the eyes, and said,
"It's my pleasure!" This guy is probably in his 30s and fairly good looking. I was thrilled! I almost called my sister to tell her that this cute guy was flirting with me at the store! But I contained myself and went on my way.
Later that same day, I went back to the store to pick up some groceries. I walked by as that same gentleman was helping someone else. I then heard him say to her...
"It's my pleasure!" Some weeks after that I was again at the coffee bar, this time with my neighbor girlfriend. This same young man helped us with our smoothies. After we left, she told me that he helped her one time and also said,
"It's my pleasure!" to her! She thought he was flirting with her, too!
The other night I told this story to my Thursday night girlfriend group. They thought that he was like a self-esteem angel, spreading joy to women every time chance he could. Ha ha!
SG,
It sounds like he may have worked at Chick-fil-A; they are all trained to say that......
Take Care,
NMD
It sounds like he may have worked at Chick-fil-A;
...you better be careful...this sounds a little like raunch and Debauchery to me!
Hee hee!
A couple of years ago there was a male model for Abercrombie outside the Abercrombie store at our local mall - the type of face and body you seen in magazines but no one really believes exists in real life. Yes he was shirtless and in blue jeans...
As I walked into the store, he made eye contact, flashed this huge smile and said Hello. Yes - that is what he is paid to do. And his purpose for standing in front of the store is to make women weak in the knees - and shop at that store.
And well it worked! It is fun to pretend that that smile and Hello was just for me! LOL! And yes, I walked into the store and back out again - just so I got another smile and Hello!
take care,
AG
Hi AG...It is nice when those big corporate clothing stores provide us with eye candy, isn't it?
Just pulling up from page two...
I am still waiting to hear from that job...tho I guess it is typical for these things to take a LONG time...I have heard that 30 days would be within reason. So seven down, 23 to go!
Last Saturday night I went to a very fun party in the City...A great friend turned 40...I have known him since he was 21! He used to babysit my kids when they were 2 and 3...
The party was a lot of fun. But the really neat thing was that I stayed with my son! He was the perfect host, came to the party with us, fit right in with his storytelling and charm. In the morning the next day we went for breakfast and then I drove the 90 miles home.
Knowing this friend (and a whole group of his friends as well) was very affirming for me as my own kids have started college and started leaving the nest. It has been good for me to see this group of people make their way in the world, make their own mistakes and struggle through relationships and career choices but then eventually come up on top.
Speaking of friends......A very good friend of mine, who was a BIG help to me as I recovered from the 3 bombs that were hurled in my direction...is having some health problems. She was/is my massage therapist and I HIGHLY recommend anyone going through stressful trauma to get some good self-care by getting a massage. Depending on the state of your marriage at the time of the bomb, you probably were used to having at least some regular human touch in your life. It is really healing and good for you on many levels to get massaged...
Anyway, my MT friend was one of my rocks during that difficult time. Last week she called me and asked me to help her, she was very weak, ill, vertigo, nausea etc. This had been going on for 5 weeks! I did go over and have lunch w/her. It was shocking because she is/was one of the fittest people I know, older than me, yogini for 30 years, strong, etc. Of course I am praying for her recovery.
Fathers Day came and went. My own Dad has passed on about 6 years ago, so that was sad. Ex...well I didn't talk to him, I was busy driving and with son. I think both kids did end up talking to him. He actually was a great dad when the kids were little. He has been an OK dad lately. He gives them money when they need it. Which is good. He does lack a little in the empathy dept. tho! LOL!
Somebody gave my daughter an older, but in good condition Jeep Cherokee. While she was running around getting it smogged and registered she was constantly calling me with questions. At one point she called me and asked me a question that the DMV would only know. I said, "Call the DMV...I don't know that answer" and she said, "Oh, OK mom, I just thought I would try you because it has always worked before!"
Mr. Argo is patiently staring at me with his big brown eyes ready for a nice run...So off to shower and get ready for the day....
I love summer! It is 9:30!
LOL
SG
Hey SG...you sound great!!!
thats really all I have to say
praying for yoru friend
Hey figgie!
Right back at 'cha!
Your summer gig sounds great. This is the first summer I haven't done something in a LONG time.
sigh.
But I do get to see the kids out and about. And that is good.
SG
Well we must be a bit more active on this forum...just one day and already on page 2!
Today I am going to get some stuff scratched off my list...and then also will do a little dog training with the Argo boy...
Speaking of dogs, has anyone been in touch w/ MS. PLUKE?
Wonder how she is doing with her health and all.
I have a couple of nibbles on e-harmony. One is about 4 hours away, which brings up some interesting questions. How far are you willing to travel to find true love?
This dating process is interesting to say the least. I have come to the conclusion that I need to put myself "out there" more and be more "open" in general.
One of my girlfriends...one of the Thursday night dinner group...was D after a very long marriage...like many of us here. She was married for over 30 years. She is in her 60s and very shy, and very alone.
For her it is a challenge to engage with the crowd at Starbucks...just speaking out loud to strangers is a challenge.
We are in a time when so many of us are in transition. After the devastation of the D comes the growth of rebuilding.
Speaking of devastation my prayers are out for the people in the Midwest who are dealing with the floods. We have the opposite problem here. It reminds me of a wonderful poem I read the other day. Link
here.
Pam is doing really good SG, we write occassinaly and she said she needs to come back but is busy w/work and the dogs .
I will tell her you asked, she will like that!
hey GS
my sweet baboo lives 4 and half hours away
i would walk it to see him
(no one puke...I hate that sentimental side of me sometimes)
but I would
barefoot even
Hey Figgie,
Four and a half hours isn't so bad...Might I ask how you met?
Summer jobs...DD landed one that starts today. In a coffee shop...she called me at 7:30 am to ask me what to wear for her first day!
Gotta love being a mom!
I will be working at the airport snack shop starting tomorrow. I am looking at it as a way to meet people and widen my circle of friends. The cash is secondary...altho helpful!
Still no word from the job of my dreams...need to take a page from figgie's book and apply to more other jobs. Well, there are a few other possibilities on the horizon. I want to hold out for the BEST one tho!
Have a great day you all. Summer solstice...longest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere is coming up. Woo Hoo!
Gotta love those summer nights!
SG
My parents got married on the 21st because my dad said he wanted the longest day of the year to be the best day of his life
sometimes I hate my parents
I actually met my sweet baboo here
we were friends for awhile
lots in common
and
i guess it just sort of happened
there were lots of coincidences in our lives too
my uncle met his wife on an on-line dating site
they are the best matched people aside from my parents
and
my best friend met her guy at a dance class that she took by herself
Looks like I need to have more stuff crossed for you, S_G!
Have fun with your summer job. That is a cool way to meet people. There are some interesting people that hang at airports.
There are some interesting people that hang at airports.
I am bringing my camera. Yesterday as I was being shown around I saw 3 parachutists land! Like, right there! In front of me!
One guy was walking around in his gear, with a video camera taped to his helmet.
Everyone seemed fit, and happy!
Starts early in the AM. Tonight I am going to see
Young at Heart finally...
Should be fun!
Mr. Argo lost his Kong! Now I don't know how to distract him when I go away!
SG
Cool!
I am sure you will have lots of stories about the "interesting" people you see and meet.
Enjoy the show!( the young at heart one0 Okay well the show at the airport too!
Oh no! A lost Kong. Does he like any other chewie toys?
We found the Kong, the movie was great, and I am dead on my feet...
The great thing about the kong is that I can fill it with food, freeze it and then give it to the puppy when I leave. It distracts him when I go, and it is a puzzle for him to solve...(How do I get the food out?) Very glad we found it...there is still one other food puzzle toy that disappeared, but that is OK.
Went to see Young at Heart with my friend last night. A strange coincidence, (Not as strange as Barbie's black capri turquoise top incident, but whatever...) her son who just graduated used to go out w/ CG's daughter. I guess it is just really a small town.
I had a counseling session. The C thought that I have a habit of falling into relationships with people who are emotionally unavailable (EX, CG) because of the relationship w/ my mom. Of course I made the mistake of calling my mom "emotionally unavailable" to my sister, which sparked a whole meaningless debate w/ her about what exactly is the problem with Mom and Me. I tried to get out of it, knew it was a mistake the minute I opened my mouth, I just had mentioned it in reference to my patterns of behavior, and it really had nothing to do with mom, but oh well. We eventually got back to what I had hoped to talk about and then were able to go on...
Today I went to the airport, at 8:00 am to do my first food service shift in a
VERY LONG TIME (Motherhood does not count!)
I thought I would be meeting people, but instead I was back in the kitchen making sandwiches and prepping salads. This was fine. It was fun, there was a 20 yo girl helping out and I did meet some people. This is a once a year situation and it is a good way to make some extra cash. I stood on my feet for 7 hours, kept busy and just generally filled in where ever help was needed. I think it was over 100 today, and this little trailer had NO AC! By the end of my shift I was beyond tired. I came home, took a shower and a nap, and now am ready to enjoy the shortest night of the year!
I think it has cooled off enough that I can take Argo for a nice long walk. I am skipping the party at the airport tonight...I have to be there again at 8:00...
Oh, and I did take a bunch of cool pictures...Saw several huge formation dives...woot!
SG
Hey SG
I think its great you are working at the airport, Always thought that would be a really fun place to work.
They will prob have you out more w/ the customers soon, you def have the perfect personality for it!
Being on your feet 7 hrs sux uh? lol yup, hence I am now looking for something where as I can at least sit part of the time!
have a super weekend!
Okay, so you had to work in the heat, but you had a great earworm stuck in your head while you did it:
"Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go I wanna be sedated Nothin' to do and no where to go-o-oh I wanna be sedated "
Ellie
Ha ha!
Well, 7 hours on my feet is nothing new, I get that from teaching. Only it is a different kind of energy in the classroom, and a different kind of tired.
My earworm was "Little Boxes" because I had also finished a "Weeds" marathon. But yeah, Young at Heart was awwssome!
SG
Hi SG:
Loved reading about your new job! I love reading about your GAL adventures - they make me smile.
The C thought that I have a habit of falling into relationships with people who are emotionally unavailable (EX, CG) because of the relationship w/ my mom. Of course I made the mistake of calling my mom "emotionally unavailable" to my sister, which sparked a whole meaningless debate w/ her about what exactly is the problem with Mom and Me. I tried to get out of it, knew it was a mistake the minute I opened my mouth, I just had mentioned it in reference to my patterns of behavior, and it really had nothing to do with mom, but oh well.
I can relate. My siblings and I are in the middle of a temporary R hiatus. Everytime I open my mouth about any impact my R with my mother had on me and/or have a disagreement with my mother and well my siblings and I go on a R hiatus! And my mother shakes her head and is very disappointed in me (and my siblings) - b/c well that turns into she is a failure as a mother b/c her children fight. LOL! And then she says it causes her anxiety attacks and headaches and then it affects her health.
It use to bother me at one time. I recognize the pattern now and know that it will "pass" with time and we will resume diplomtic relations w/o any discussion of what happened or why we are talking again.
The only chanage I have made is that I detach and just move away from it all for awhile till it blows over. In the past I use to get upset and escalate the situation. I no longer try to work through it b/c there is no point.
And yes, my R with my mother has affected my R choices in life. I hope I have changed myself enough to attract people into my life that I can take emotional risks with and that care enough to work through these issues with me - instead of the elephant in the living room approach. But my upbringing in deeply ingrained in me - it is a challenge. Constructive confrontation is really hard.
take care,
AG
Hi AG! Thanks for writing. Somehow I knew you would be one to relate to my tale...The thing is, I dearly love my sister, and I love my mother too...we just have a horrible dynamic that has to do with the two of us. It is a completely different dynamic than the one my sister and my mom have. Sigh. There is a REASON I don't live in Chicago!
Tho if I did I would be able to see my Midwest DB buddies...but that is a different story.
My GAL adventures, continued:Well I worked the whole weekend. It really was a lot of fun in some ways. Many years ago, before I even met H I had worked a LOT in Food Service. I really know the restaurant business pretty well, but decided at my last foodie job that I would "Never Waitress Again!" Famous last words, right!
Well I remember what I like about it. And I remember what I don't like about it. There is something really satisfying about getting the orders out and working on a team and getting through the breakfast or lunch rush with out any disasters! The work is really "obvious" and by that I mean there is always something to do and it is always obvious what needs to be done! When in doubt clean, or take out the trash, or fill containers of stuff...It just takes being mindful and being observant. The crew I worked with were all really nice, they all have/had day jobs as well. A network designer, an English professor, etc. Too bad they were all married! LOL! But just bantering with people and taking orders helps me hone my people skills.
I saw many, many jumps and landings. There were multiple formation jumps and also tandem jumps. It was amazing watching people surf the air currents and glide in circles just like eagles! And when they landed, the jumpers strode right by my counter on their way to the hangar. I have never seen so MANY faces infused with JOY! These guys and gals may be risk takers, but they sure enjoy what they are doing! I have been meaning to look up some statistics on Skydiving...I really have no idea how dangerous it is compared to other sports. My daughter jumps horses and that can be quite dangerous...I know a certain someone on the boards here whose husband is a surfer. I think the key is to be aware and as safe as you can be in your chosen sport.
I came
this close to doing a tandem jump. But I decided to save that for another day. Watching how they soar, float, surf and dance in the air made me want to revive my yoga practice. My yoga has been replaced by a walk and run the dog practice...I am still getting plenty of activity a day and am fairly fit. I do need to get stronger in my upper body and start up again so that when I do my tandem jump I will be flexible enough to enjoy the ride! So I went to a great class yesterday and am going to another one tonight. Also scheduled a massage for tomorrow.
Somehow a lot of the self care fell by the wayside over the last few months. Bad SG! Must never let that happen again!
I hope everyone is enjoying the summer! My area is being slammed with fires. The whole Central Valley is blanketed in smoke. The air quality is terrible, the sky looks yellow...well, the Sacramento Bee is calling it
brown... It is one of those unsafe air days. You can smell the smoke in the air around here.
hope we get some wind soon.
Take care all!
SG
Good WeeBitAfterNoon SG!
I love my mother and family too. But they cause huge amounts of angst b/c of our very screwed R dynamics. It is very conflicting and completely out of my control. I did better with them when I lived far away too! LOL! But such is life - I use to get upset and feel like it was somehow my fault when we had these R hiatus's resulting from some conflict. Now I enjoy the time away! Less drama - very peaceful
I came this close to doing a tandem jump.
My friends talked me into doing a tandem jump about 20 years ago. And I did research on risk and I was nervous all day before the jump. But when I actually did it - I forgot all my fears. It is wonderful. You feel like you are flying. It is very fast and very windy.
I am afraid of heights - you are so far above the ground - that the height part is not a big deal.
The freakiest thing is watching the people in front of you just "whoosh" disappear through the opening! LOL! And in my case, the instructor had to anchor his feet below and hold on above - and I was literally dangling from the tandem on his chest!
I don't think you really need to be fit. You just have to keep your wits about you, relax and enjoy the ride. You have to make sure you follow instructions and hold your position. And watch your feet on the landing - I did a butt landing myself! LOL! You feel like you are being jerked up and back when the chute opens. The parachuting part is okay - just feels very slow after the freefall!
And yes hire someone to jump with you with the camera on their head so they can videotape your jump! I lost my tape - but it was really cool.
Okay - can you tell I loved it and highly recommend it!
Glad you hear you are getting back on track with the self care.
I read about the fires. Hope the wind has blown away the smoke in the other direction.
take care,
AG
Thanks AG!
I had a VERY nice long massage yesterday. Then I think I slept 10 hours last night! LOL!
The MT gave me a compliment on "the definition in my calves"... which felt good. All that walking is good for something! I still feel like my upper body could use some toning and strengthening. I don't like feeling like I am not as fit as I could be.
There is still smoke in the air. I will be driving away from it today when I go to the Central Coast to visit my Dear Daughter.
My local skydive place is one of the ones recommended by the USPA.
It looks like the tandems are "relatively safe"...
I am thinking that it will happen sometime later this summer.
SG
I am thinking that it will happen sometime later this summer.
You go girl! It is something I would like to do one day… you first
Great rebound from your experience with CG (selfish B@st@rd that he was
) ok I get to say that because you need to be in a healthy move forward mode as you have been. If a person is not healthy enough for a relationship, once he figures it out, he/she should not mess with someone else's feelings.
Goddess, you continue to exhibit an attitude and approach worth imitating so keep it up. Just as I typed the last sentence, it reminded me of the advice by Myles Monroe (from DivorceCare). He emphasized becoming content in our singleness, to become whole (although he was using different terminology) and then to continue that wholeness into a relationship. This was echoed in a different way by a Pastor’s wife who missed her husband but who learned to look at God as her true husband.
These are just some concepts I have blended together for me and they help me to focus on living the most fulfilling life I can, as you are the poster child for such a proactive life. My best friend and I talk about living a life so focused on serving God that we are not preoccupied about our future wives and then at some point, she will be in our view and we'll wonder how that happened.
So girlfriend, keep it up!!!! There is a guy out there who will be so blessed by you and your calves and as you keep active, he will have the better opportunity to find you.
A song by the Clark Sisters is now playing and I'm thinking of you, it is entitled, "Blessed and Highly favored" and it just somehow seems appropriate for so many of us on the board but I think, particularly you.
Have a blessed day and an awesome weekend.
Hi C2H,
Thanks for the encouragement!
My weekend was indeed awesome, as I spent it with one of my most favoritist people in the whole wide world, my daughter! The drive down to SLO was uneventful, but the sky remained brown almost all the way there. Turns out that there is a fire at Big Sur also. Luckily no fires in SLO county. Yay!
My DD is starting her second year in her off campus apartment. Her former roommate moved out, taking with her the table, the TV, the coffee table, the kitchen clock, many dishes and utensils and the INTERNET! So my main mission was to get DD back online. She had told me that the only internet game in town was cable internet from a company called Charter. But I still went through the phone book and called all the numbers, hoping to get someone local. Well it turns out she was right. We ended up going to the local office, because every time I called the number in the book, it ended up going to some company called "Wave" in Washington state!
The office visit was uneventful. The gal gave us the "self-install" kit, which I was confident I could handle with ease. The instructions were to set it up, then call the 888 number so they could ping the MAC address and turn on the connection. Easy, right?
WELL DD has no land line. So I was calling the 888 number from my cell phone. The first time I got through, the person on the other end of the line could not find our order in the records. Then he asked me where San Luis Obispo was. He seemed completely baffled when I said "Central Coast". We were then disconnected, and I tried again. The second time I got through, the person again couldn't find us, he thought I was in Washington state, and then he asked me if I was in the Sacramento area. (Northern California, about 300 miles from SLO) He transferred me to someone else, and this third person knew what was going on. By calling from my cell, I was being routed to this other company based in Washington state which had recently acquired a Sacramento area cable company. By this time I had spent over an hour on the phone with no results. The third guy suggested that we find someone with a cell with a local area code to call the 888 number and thus bypass the robot intelligence that determined that we live in Sacto.
So DD found a friend with a local cell phone the next day and it took all of 10 minutes. Yay!
We also went to the Goodwill warehouse and found her a dining table and a coffee table. Scored and got both for under $30.
We ALSO saw FOUR movies in THREE nights! a new world record, but 2 of them were at the drive in.
She has a summer job as a barista at a coffee shop walking distance to her apt. So while she was at work I took the wonder dog to the beach...15 minutes away. Nothing like doing nothing and watching the waves and smelling the clean, smoke free air!
*sigh*
I did many loads of laundry for her, and gave our ancient 20 year old kitty some special love. D and I laughed a lot and had a great time.
Came back, spent a day getting caught up around here and then went back to the beach today with my girlfriend and her teenage daughter! It was chilly and foggy, but what can I say...it was the beach!
Got a little too much sun, but that's OK.
I am tired and happy.
Take care all,
SG
The wonder dog and I just got back from our first Rally Class. This is with the trainer I met through our old virtual friend Ms. PSLuke.
Argo did absolutely great! The facility is lovely, out in the country with big flocks of geese flying about. The drive home gave me wide open views all around...the sun was setting and the sky was actually sort of a normal sunset color instead of the pink/red/brown we have been having because of all the fires.
I bet I get Argo at least a RN by the end of the year!
SG
PS:
Rally Woof!
SG
Hello friends,
OK, well it has been almost a week since I posted...not much on the news front. I had a wonderful National Holiday, which included a visit from DD who came home for the traditional block party and then a second party out in the country where we could see multiple fireworks from several cities around here. Cool!
Still looking for a job. A couple of interesting possibilities that I am on the line for, either one has pros and cons. But I won't know for a few more weeks yet, so still looking. I will be teaching one graduate level class this fall. I teach part time in a Master's program that is taught 75% online. The program is designed to have a strong cohesive cohort right from the start. The first 5 days are an intensive "retreat" so that everyone gets a strong sense of people's personalities and styles.
One of the problems with online communication is that the "face-to-face" element is missing. Without the moderating influence of visual and auditory clues and cues messages can easily get mis-interpreted and things can escalate rather quickly. Thus on e-mail lists we get "flame wars" and on forums like this one we get occasional dramatic flare ups...So when you don't know the people really well it helps to season every thing with a healthy grain of salt.
With the high cost of gas, and garbage in abundance, I think I might switch to
one of these for my local commute!
Have a great day/week/month!
SG
LOL!!!!
Think they'd let me take a goatmobile on the freeway to my work???
Ellie
With the high cost of gas, and garbage in abundance, I think I might switch to
one of these for my local commute!
Ya know, that could be a lot of fun. You could dress it up for different occasions, make his outfits match yours, etc.
good luck on the job front
blech
i hate looking for jobs
good luck on the job front
Thanks figgie!
and a BIG Congratulations to YOU!
I am inspired by your willingness to move. I would like to stay put until my kids are done w/college which would be 2 more years, so that has limited me in some ways.
SG
Hot and SmokeyIt is HOT here in NorCal...the typical week of triple digit weather has begun. My house doesn't have AC...and 50 weeks out of the year it is quite comfortable. This week, however it has not. In a little bit I will be packing up the dog and heading to the coast where it is a more comfortable 80 degrees...and at least the air is clean!
There are over 1000
fires burning in California right now. The air is ORANGE and it scratches the back of my throat. Every evening the moon is glowing red and the sunsets, while spectacular, are tinged with an angry red. The heat, combined with the bad air has kind of encouraged me to lay low and stay indoors.
Later this Summer The Ex is taking both kids on a trip to Iowa for the
Bix which is a 7 mile race up and down some hills. He goes regularly, but the last time we took a vacation as a family, and the last time I saw many of my in laws was in 2003 when we all went to Iowa. I knew about the OW at that time and was "waiting on the curb" as we called it in MLC. In my MIL's guest room H held me before he left (he was returning to CA to get back to work) and told me "I choose you". I went on to Chicago with the kids and then met back w/ H at home in California. Six weeks later I found the rental application w/ both of their names on it, and he moved out.
It will be nice for the kids to see that side of the family. And it is nice for H to pay for the trip, given the price of tickets these days.
When DD was here she shared her pictures of H and his family from her trip over Christmas. H is the youngest of 11 children. Looking at them all (the 10 that are left, anyway) I had to admit to D that H was the best looking one. She agreed, but she noted that it is because he takes good care of himself, eats well and doesn't smoke and drink.
Not sure if I mentioned this before or not...When we D'd I was working a "big" job with an excellent income and I decided also for other reasons that I did not want spousal support. I did get the house, and that was a good deal for me. Since then I lost the "big" job and have been working part time at numerous jobs to make ends meet.
I was planning on dipping into savings this month when
I got a surprise check from the H...for the amount of the mortgage. It really helped tremendously. I sent him a thank you note.
One of my girlfriends noted to me that Ex H is decent in many ways. He has MAJOR issues, but in general he has been pretty decent. So it goes.
So life goes on!
Hope that the air you breathe today is clean and clear!
SG
I was planning on dipping into savings this month when I got a surprise check from the H...for the amount of the mortgage. It really helped tremendously. I sent him a thank you note.
One of my girlfriends noted to me that Ex H is decent in many ways. He has MAJOR issues, but in general he has been pretty decent. So it goes.
What a blessing! so cool. As for our X's "being decent" it is good to acknowledge that, I think it helps with the healing.
Hope that the air you breathe today is clean and clear!
Yeah, right!
With love from Los Angeles
I got a surprise check from the H
Wow SG thats great!
I have always thought as far as "decent" goes w/ these MLCers, yours was, well in the not too terribly bad column!
and heck if it helps you, terrific!
Watch the fires on TV, uggh. Hate seeing that, so far we've been spared but last year,Oct, was so bad, my sister was evacuated and it was very scary, she sent some amazing pics, and luckily their house was saved.
I hope all is ok where you are living.
Are you takin a break from dating? Any news on that front?
Hello Friends!I had a WONDERFUL day at the beach yesterday! The weather, the water and the company were perfect!
Warm up and watch surfers and people walking by and then cool off in the water play in the waves and body surf. Repeat as often as possible until time to go home! In between times get the wonder puppy used to salt water and splashing in the surf.
I went w/ my girlfriend and her Significant Other who had just had oral surgery the day before. He was on Vicondon and just wanted to doze off on a blanket...which was fine with us!
We got out of the terrible heat and smoke for a day...and on the way back visited my Son in SF. Poor guy is having roommate trouble and I hope he will be able to straighten it out on his own.
Today I have managed to stay indoors so far, but I realized I need to go to the bank. If I happen to get a milkshake while I am out, so be it!
Karen! Thanks for the visit! you ask:
Are you takin a break from dating? Any news on that front?
Well, it appears so! I am on e-harmony and am not seeing much action At All.
My subscription runs out next month. I will not renew. Match hasn't worked for me either, and I am reluctant to get back on for various reasons. I have looked and it seems like there is the same bunch of guys on there who have been on since I first separated!
I actually don't miss dating at all, I have been busy with all my little trips and GFs and such, but it would be nice to have a man around! LOL!
Perhaps the UPS man will bring me just what I need!
Anyway, I hope everyone is keeping cool,
SG
Good Sunday Morning Friends!
The Delta Breeze has been gently blowing and the moon was her normal silvery self last night instead of the angry orange she has been all week.
Does anyone remember this song?
And I think it's gonna be alright
Yeah, the worst is over now
The mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball
And there haven't been any fires in my immediate county...just the neighboring ones.
GAL AdventuresLast night and the night before I went out with a girlfriend to the art openings in our town and the neighboring town. (Second Friday and Second Saturday)
It was fun just to get out and about and walk around. Of course there is wine at these things...afterwards we sat on the patio of a local Bistro and listened to an owl screeching in a nearby tree. We had Margaritas Friday night and wine Saturday. Each night I practiced being more open and outgoing to talk to various people...Ended up having 2 conversations w/ 2 different men I don't know. So that is good! According to
Dr. Henry Cloud an important step in meeting the
right person is to meet a
lot of people and practice being open and accessible with them. I have been a little bit of a cave dweller lately, in spite of the fun trips I have been on. I have been either with old familiar friends or by myself. So it was good to get out and about and mingle!
On of the shows was at a
Foundry and included many metal work pieces. It was inspirational, and I am going to try to get back into metal working. I have worked as a silversmith in the past and also have done some casting, forging, and manufacturing of bronze and copper art while in college. I really enjoy banging on a red hot piece of copper rod with a mallet and an anvil and then plunging it into the water to cool it off.
I am feeling the need to create something 3-D and tangible again.
Had a wonderful morning w/ the wonderdog yesterday. Took him with me all morning as we went to garage sales and farmers market. He was well behaved and friendly. He even waited patiently at market while I did my shopping. No barking or whining! A first! He is nearly ready for his
Canine Good Citizen which is hopefully the first of many...
Speaking of the wonder puppy he is whining at me...I guess it is time to get off the 'puter and go for a walk.
Hope everyone has a wonderful week!
SG
Hi SG:
I love reading about your GAL adventures!
According to Dr. Henry Cloud an important step in meeting the right person is to meet a lot of people and practice being open and accessible with them. I have been a little bit of a cave dweller lately, in spite of the fun trips I have been on. I have been either with old familiar friends or by myself. So it was good to get out and about and mingle!
You have always been a few steps ahead of me. I am trying to get out more and meet lots of people. I have spent far too much time hanging out in my hermit habitat and am either alone or with the same group of people when I do go out.
My latest GAL is signing up for a two day 40 mile breast cancer walk in Charlotte. Okay the group is mostly women - but perhaps there will be men there that want to meet women.
In any case, training for the walk will get me back in shape.
I am feeling the need to create something 3-D and tangible again.
Good luck with your new projects. I think fulfilling these types of needs provides a sense of accomplishment and enhances that feel good high.
Give your puppy lots of snuggles on my behalf. He is adorable.
take care,
AG
Hey SG
Love reading about all the things you do! You really have GALed big time! I remember when I first read that coming to the boards and thinking HOW does one GAL without their H? ha! well we sure learned how right??
Dont blame you on the eharmony thing, actually wasnt impressed w/ it, I did meet a really great guy there , we are still friends, but not crazy about the format. When the time is right, its right.
I hope you have a great week, and look forward to reading more of your GAL adventures!
Happy Thursday Friends!Well, so far this week has been fairly productive. A colleague sent a nice contract job my way...webmaster/marketing that I can do from home. It is part time and completely flexible which is perfect for me right now.
I spent all day Monday applying for a job 4 hours away. I took a page from Figgie's book and decided to widen my net. Truth be told I don't really want to move from here unless it is to a shore-side community somewhere where I could walk to the beach every day! The job I applied for is one that would be perfect for me except that it is in a community that I wouldn't be very thrilled to live in...except that it is 3 hours closer to DD. The good thing about doing
that application is that it forced me to get some other important paperwork together, so I am ready for other applications as they come up.
Next Tuesday I am going to a workshop for Women Entrepreneurs and I may end up taking a course. I feel like I need some guidance in writing a business plan and marketing my skills. Really best case scenario would be I get a "real" job and use that time to prepare for making the freelance switch. Still on the line for that job of my dreams w/ International Publishing Company... these things take
SO LONG and it is hard to just cool my heels and wait. Closer to home there is yet another job I am on the line for with my local school district, but there seems to be quite a few artificial barriers being thrown in my path. This particular job is one that when it was vacated by the previous person many
many people including the director in charge told me that I would be perfect for it. As a matter of fact, it is really the only full time position in the district that I am interested in having. However, I do not have a teaching credential and I am not CLAD certified. I have a Master's in Education. This position does not involve teaching children, which is what a credential is supposed to be for. Catch 22. The posting requires a teaching credential. So we shall see. This is one example of why ultimately I want to get out of the public sector.
As far as GAL goes...I had dinner last night at a friends house. It was a "Women's night" and there were 7 women. I was on the young end of the group, several were in their 70's. Lot's of discussion of children and grandchildren and upcoming weddings.
My own kids seem to be doing well, however S is in the middle of roommate drama and needs to find somewhere new to live. I am sad for him because I loved his place and his neighborhood in SF. He is handling it admirably on his own and I am proud of him for dealing with it. DD is doing well in her classes and taking little trips all over SoCal on the weekends and so is enjoying her summer in SLO.
So, the sky is blue again and the sun is shining!
Have a great day/week/life!
SG
Hey SG,
Nice to hear the sun is shining in your part of the world. It is gorgeous here too and despite the fact the weather report called for rain all week - there have only been blue skies and lots of sunshine.
I want to join a women's group. I have my minis group which is good (though we do have one male). I want my Singles Friends Club. Guess I'll have to start it up myself this fall.
Love reading how you are GALing. I give you lots of credit. I'd love to live in a Seaside town too. Not much chance of that unless I win the lottery. Speaking of that - must go check tickets. Then off to the travel show.
Later,
Barb
Happy Friday Morning Friends!Well what do you know, it is the weekend already!
Last night the wonder puppy and I went to Rally practice. Through PSLuke we found a wonderful trainer and facility. I am more and more pleased each day. The trainer gets a kick out of telling people we met through a virtual friendship. Argo did really well, was very well behaved and happy the whole time, wagging his magnificent
tail! The facility is out in the country and when I left the sun was setting on the western horizon and the full moon was rising...our 2 closest celestial bodies on opposite sides of the table, which is what happens during a full moon. There were huge flocks of water birds flying about over the rice fields. Lovely!
Someone on e-harmony responded to my questions...that I sent back in March! LOL! I am about to let the subscription run out, which happens August 1.
I am in the middle of trying to get my home office more functional. I have the hardest time with paper! As an information worker, plus an incurable book worm, I have paper, ideas, files, books, notebooks, sticky notes, pens, cards, you name it everywhere and anywhere. Sheesh.
Well the weather is much nicer. Thank goodness.
Hey, if any of you newbies are reading this, I am here to tell you that life does indeed get better...just keep plugging away and eventually you will find that you have really moved on and are building your new life.
Take care all,
SG
i love sticky notes everywhere.
When I try to clean it all up I end up losing tons of info
blech
Hi Ms. Fig!
Yeah, it seems like I go through this every summer. Piles on tables in every room of the house, each pile with a sticky note (or sheet of colored paper) identifying what it contains. Then when school starts I scoop up all the piles into one GIANT pile and do the filing by layer system!
Last night I took a tour through the archives and read some of my old threads. The oldest ones are gone...for better or worse! LOL!
I joined the board in 2003 after I found out about OGIRL the first time. It took me a while to figure out where the best place for me to post was. I started (I think) in infidelity and then sexual issues and finally found my home in MLC until I moved here. I read one thread that I wrote while the kids were still at home, DD was in Crew and a Senior in HS, I was in Grad School, and I was dealing with XH. I just am amazed at how busy I was! No wonder I was able to detach! It is funny how reading about all that brings back some strong emotions. And also, remembering how different the boards seemed to me at the time. Maybe it is the same for the newbies now...but I think there are a LOT more people in general using the boards.
I also was able to clearly remember all the hurt, anger, and hope for my M that I was experiencing at the time.
With the help of the board and with my counselor I was able to figure out that the problems in my M went much deeper than MLC and were not fixable by me. Nor was my M a M worth saving.
Looking around now my life is so much different. And even if my H decided to get into therapy and fix his
serious problems I know now that there is something so much better out there for me.
And that is my wish for all of you who find yourselves here. Love being boring! Take things day by day. And eventually you will find yourself in a much happier place. I promise!
SG