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Thanks all, I think I will post a thread over here. I don't like being the Grinch but I don't feel like much else right now. No holiday gatherings have been planned for the kids, grandkids, and I -- money and place. Or, at least place from my perspective. As I said somewhere else, I'm STILL working on my remodeling and I only have one spare parking place. I can't seem to get time to work on the remodeling between everything else but some people don't have to worry about that. Even though, he cries and moans that I took everything, XH gets back into town on 12/21 and on the 22nd he is having "Christmas" for everyone at his house.

Well, not quite everyone. I'm not invited -- surprise -- nor do I want to meet the "roommate" but damn I don't even have a job to go to that day while all my kids and grandkids celebrate there.
Glenda,

You're not a grinch. This time is hard for all who've been through any loss.

You're not going to his early celebration or to work that day. So what can you plan now to do then that will bring you, if not peace, at least some pleasure? The GAL advice rings especially true this month.

You'll have a fun thread here. There are a zillion nice, crazy folks hanging out in these parts. Oh, and we have our traditions here in the Thriving forum. How about a Guinness for yours truly? It'll be afternoon by the time I get back here. ;\)

Thanks,

Joe
OK, my name is Jill and I'm crazy.....

Glenda, Joe's right, you need to make some plans for that day. How about volunteering at a nursing home or ringing the Salvation Army bell somewhere? Think about it, there's lots you could do.

Sounds like you're at a stall as far as your home improvements go. Am I right? If so, don't beat yourself up over it. You've been at it forever and maybe you need to chill out and find something "FUN" to do for awhile. The home improvements will wait.

Lady, you need to plan a vacation for after the first of the year. So click those heels together and figure out where you want to go and do it. I've got some great sites that I'll share with you if you're interested.
It's the Glenda the Good Witch!!!

WELCOME to our little corner of the board! I just noticed that you started a thread here. I was wondering if you thought you were too sane for the likes of the riff raff over here on surviving.

I was happy to see you but sorry to read your post and to see how it's making you feel. I agree with everyone else. I would make plans, maybe shopping with a friend or as Jill mentioned, something to do with giving back. That's always a good thing for me to put me back on track. It's nice to feel needed and being able to help someone less fortunate puts it all into perspective for us. The other thing is that maybe you could find a Saturday night service to go to. That might bring you some peace while the music may lift your spirits.

So, you've mentioned how you feel about this, but how do the kids feel? Are they apprehensive about meeting OW? They may have their own set of reservations that they are trying to work through and for whatever reason have not shared them with you. They have to be torn.

Aw honey cheer up. Come here when you need a laugh and I guarantee after you read some of what we write you'll feel much better about your emotional health. I mean I'm fine but some of the others here are well let's just say ....CUCKOO!

Love,
Bethie
Glenda,

I was thinking today about the long list of activities in Anchorage that you sent to me last year. There must be some worthwhile things that you would enjoy in the next couple weeks.

You work so hard at the real estate, the work career, helping your sons, etc. Why not pick some thing (one, for starters) that you believe might be pleasant and put it at the top of your to-do list? Without pressure, something that just sounds like it has potential to be fun or rewarding, but make it as important as all the other stuff that's piled on your plate.

Thanks,

Joe
Quote:
Come here when you need a laugh and I guarantee after you read some of what we write you'll feel much better about your emotional health. I mean I'm fine but some of the others here are well let's just say ....CUCKOO!


Umm... Glenda, I know you're a smart cookie, but I wanted to warn you that Bethie is our local loco... we kinda meet more profiling quotas when we include her, so I'm sure you understand. She's certifiable , but she really does have a heart of gold. Or was that her front teeth??? hmmm.. my memory lapses at times.

Be good to yourself, sweetie. You been fighting the good fight.
Hang on baby Groundhog day is comin.
Ya know...if I had any savings I'd rent a private plane and bring all of you up here for my own private get together. I'd also make sure there was space on the plane for someone's pole so we could have a demonstration of Ms. Santa pole dancing!

Sometimes there are really angels out there. The nice little gift certificate to the day spa that I just haven't had time to use fell off the bookcase this morning and smacked me in the head. Sooooo....on the afternoon of the 22nd I have scheduled a holistic sea spa skin treatment, a massage, an aromatic facial, and a scalp massage. I go in at 2 pm and the wonderful woman on the phone promised they'd have me out in time for mass. That sounds like a good idea, too. The odd thing is, I'm not Catholic, but a very good friend of mine is and I've spent a few Saturday evenings in mass over the last couple of years. I've tried the more "new age" churches but just don't feel comfortable without my hymnal and homilies.

So, that is what I have scheduled for me -- even though it would probably be better karma if I did go volunteer at the soup kitchen.

As for the kids. Both sons have met OW and both say ... "she's just a roommate." That is how XH introduces her and they don't see any way dad would throw us all out to take up with the likes of her. That isn't verbatim but I'm not going to repeat what either of my sons said. Daughter has not met her and says she is glad her children will be in Hawaii with their dad because she doesn't want to meet "roommate" and she is sure "papa" wouldn't want to hear what my granddaughter would have to say to him. She is a little outspoken like her grandmother.

And, K, all I have in the fridge (since I had to make a choice between alcohol and Adderall) is an Alaskan pale ale left by one of son's friends. I hope it will suffice...it is a very good ale.
Glenda,

Quote:
Ya know...if I had any savings I'd rent a private plane and bring all of you up here for my own private get together. I'd also make sure there was space on the plane for someone's pole so we could have a demonstration of Ms. Santa pole dancing!

Wow! Talk about in-flight entertainment! \:\)

Quote:
Sometimes there are really angels out there. The nice little gift certificate to the day spa that I just haven't had time to use fell off the bookcase this morning and smacked me in the head. Sooooo....on the afternoon of the 22nd I have scheduled a holistic sea spa skin treatment, a massage, an aromatic facial, and a scalp massage.

That sounds great, much more effective than moping would be, don't you think?

Quote:
I'm not Catholic, but a very good friend of mine is and I've spent a few Saturday evenings in mass over the last couple of years. I've tried the more "new age" churches but just don't feel comfortable without my hymnal and homilies.

I get out of it what I put into it, especially the homilies.

Quote:
she is sure "papa" wouldn't want to hear what my granddaughter would have to say to him. She is a little outspoken like her grandmother.



Oh, and I'd love an Alaskan pale ale. I like most beers except most lambics, so it doesn't have to be dark for me.

Thanks,

Joe
K, sorry for the slow service. I've been at son and DIL's for two days and just got back. Pale ale it is!

It is truly amazing sometimes to look at the similarities in children and grandchildren. Spending the last couple of days caring for my grandchilden has not only reminded me why it is not good to have children at an older age (I'm totally worn out) but also with how some traits just carry on in the DNA. With S24's twins, it is incredible how much their little girl is like my daughter. She can be totally having a hissy fit but when she realizes the attention is finally hers, the smile comes out and she just gives one that look like ... well, it is good to see that y'all finally realize what royalty I am, and ... by the way, where's the camera. My own daughter was soooo like that when she was little. Her twin brother, the "baby" of the family by five minutes, just loves to throw himself backwards and pound the floor with his little feet. Hmmmm...S22 used to do that a lot and I sometimes wonder if all that drama goes with being the "baby." Their oldest, who is almost 3 (January 25) is so helpful and loves to give out hugs and kisses aplenty, reminds me a lot of S24. He was the child who always wanted just one more hug and kiss before bedtime, or one more story, or just a little longer in the rocking chair.

I'm sorry DIL fell and injured her knee. I think she is going to be okay with some rehab and taking it easy. And, I'm tired as heck from running after those three and so ready for a night in my own bed ... but all the hugs, kisses, and smiles of the last two days have done wonders for me. Oh, to be so sweet and innocent!
Originally Posted By: Glenda_aka_kc
Ya know...if I had any savings I'd rent a private plane and bring all of you up here for my own private get together.


Uh....NO!!! Pick us all up and we'll go somewhere warm and tropical, sit on the beach and drink foofoo drinks, while watching Beth on her pole, All in his blaze orange thong, C2 with his butt light, Karen guzzling wine like there's no tomorrow and who knows what else!!! Alaska, NO!!! Tropics, YES!!!!
Where do I sign up?

Jill, I'm negligent in getting my passport -- STILL -- so as tropical as I could go would be California, Texas, or Florida. I guess I see the #1 on my goals for 2008 list.

I guess I'm definitely in the right place again. I am flipping bipolar (manic depressive in older terms) right now. I've been in the flipping abyss but today I'm walking on sunshine. Inspired Julie -- you might have to rethink your analysis of the "most cookoo" over here -- I think that is the person looking for her red slippers!

I'm checking in on a few more and then I'm out the door. My list today is loooong.
Wow Glenda!

Sounds like having some time with your Grandchildren worked for you! You do sound as if emotionally you have a handle on things.

Ya know, I've been thinking about Christmas and your sitch. Will you have the kids over or will you go to one of their homes?

As far as Christmas with the ex and OW, how do they feel about that? Have they met her? I'll bet that they aren't too crazy about having to see their Dad with her being there. Do you remember Vee from MLC? She only lives about 45 minutes from here and we have remained good friends. She has 4 kids, 2 speak to their Dad, 2 don't. Vee's pretty sure her ex got married but he has yet to tell any of his kids. Anyway, she said that he gave them an ultimatum. If they want to have anykind of relationship with him they have to include her. So today the 2 oldest were going over to celebrate the holiday, both with very mixed emotions. I told Vee that I bet they were very apprehensive but they have a need to have their Dad in their life. Who knows what will come from this visit? They may be so uncomfortable with the whole thing that they won't ever do it again or this woman may be nothing like they imagined. From what Vee said, they are both having very mixed emotions because of the guilt they feel for possibly causing their Mom any sadness.

Let's face it, all of our kids are probably going to be faced with this decision at some point. I don't doubt for a minute that it must be very stressful for them. Every child, no matter what age, want to be able to spend their holiday with both parents, preferably at the sametime. Really, what other choice are they left with? It's very plain to see who your children know they can count on. When your DIL hurt her knee and needed help with their babies, who did they call? That says more than one December afternoon spent with their Father!

Thanks for the book recommendation. I have to go to my home away from home (Barnes & Noble) this week and I will check it out. Way to go on making plans and making the 22nd a great day!

Love,
Bethie
The "Christmas" at dad's is the only one that is going to happen. We were all supposed to get together on the 9th at S and DIL's house, but DIL fell on the 8th. Last year we all gathered at daughter's house, but her XH is back from Iraq and her children are gone to Hawaii with him on the 19th -- well, with him, their brother from his first marriage, and his current wife and son. So daughter is going to dad's with just her SO and she said she is glad her kids won't be here and she is hoping "roommate" isn't either.

It is stressful for my kids. I know it is and I'm trying as hard as I can to be happy, chipper and talk about my day at the spa. I'm sure they all know I'd rather be with them and their dad but that isn't behind door #1, #2, or #3 at this time so ...

I guess time with S24 and DIL did give me a little better perspective on how their lives are going right now and financially it isn't going great. So, Ms "kittyclaws" aka "kc" went shopping today and made some great "scores" for Santa. I found a My First Leap Pad with three books, a table and chair, in almost new condition for under $50, a wagon that has Lego mega blocks inside, again in almost new condition, for $10 at one of the local consignment shops, and a new Care bear with a Care bear video. I went to Walmart for a couple of things for my house and they had a Walmart exclusive "dance pad" game for kids so I got that, too. I also found some DVDs I know the kids will like and I even bought one of my favorites, "How the Grinch Stole Christmas!" and plan to watch it soon. I know S and DIL might want to do stocking shopping but S is so tired from this last week, he may not and I don't think DIL will be doing any driving for a while.

I am feeling MUCH better. I am one of those touchy-feely people. It drove XH nuts sometimes as he is a very physically aloof type person. In the last two years, I have been sorely lacking in the getting any hugs department and it does make a difference.
Glenda,
Why not plan something for you and your kids after Christmas or for New Years even?

You're sounding much better and that makes me HAPPY!!!

Absolutely when you come to MI, look me up. My email is qoe100@aol.com.
Okay, when it snows, it blizzards -- figured that was geared more toward Alaska BUT we don't have more than about an inch of snow right now.

Today, I received an invitation to a Christmas party in the mail on none other than the 22nd -- so, I guess I will be at the spa and then go see what trouble I can get in to. Actually, I can't get into much. I told my friend I'd bring the "virgin" punch . Can I say that here? Maybe I should just say, the nonalcoholic punch. I have to drive to her house and then drive home and I plan to take my Adderall anyway, even if it is Saturday, so I can put several sentences together without needing an interpreter -- although this is the friend who coached me through several math classes and told the professor to just go on. I would never get it with his explanation and she would explain it to me later. Thank goodness for my crazy poli sci major, math minor friend.

The job has actually gone much better the last two days. New org chart, new supervisor; however, my old supervisor still takes everything AFTER I've done the work to a finished product, changes a couple of little things, and then presents it. I really don't care except the changes she makes are dumb. THEN she sends them back to me that comes out of our manual chapters that needs to be turned into a form because she hasn't had any training on 2007. Me neither. I've been wracking my brain for the two weeks she was on vacation, though. Today, I figured out that Word 2007 doesn't let you make forms like Word 2003 did. You need to use InfoPath 2007. Darn Microsoft is good at figuring out how to increase their bottom line.

I was trying to work in the SharePoint site today and set up some action items. We are supposed to have "workflow" but now Microsoft says that is a custom configuration. Use of the workflow was the only reason we upgraded and I'm wondering if our IT group actually talked with Microsoft and the documentation is incorrect in workflow being an out of the box tool OR if they just need some training themselves. HSS is the first group of state employees to upgrade to the MOSS SharePoint and I had to put in several work orders just to get all the programs I was supposed to have from the get go. And, it has to be a work order as none of us chumps are allowed to put anything on a state computer.

Oh well, another work order today. I am supposed to be a site administrator and I don't even have read privileges for some of the data. Huh? So that put a kabosh on our "work around" of using the action item list for deliverables action. I'm not allowed to post an action item.

So, the frustrations with the job wax and wane. Gov Sarah gave us all Monday afternoon off. I'm tempted to add Monday morning to my leave slip and say adios to that place until 2008.

Well, it's time to do the dishes and some laundry.
Sometimes I am just left speechless. Not often, but once in a while. We were sent home from work early today -- why, you ask? Bad snow storm. Helloooo. We live in Alaska for crying out loud. It really isn't a bad storm just light fluffy snow, so that means when people drive like a bat out of H#!! it flies around like a white out.

I'm doing just such boring stuff. Took my car in today for service. Scheduled it on line. WOW. Cool! Has anyone else scheduled online service for a vehicle? It automatically fills in the VIN, etc., since I have a service maintenance agreement from the dealership. So, I drop it off and have to fill out the regular form...uh...why? So, I just fill out the top info and refer to the printed out on line form. Get back to pick it up and am reading the print out. Hmmm...I don't see where they checked out the shifter, so I ask the young lady. Nope, her paperwork doesn't say anything about that. Did I request it? Why, yes, on the online form when I scheduled the service. See, it is even printed out there on Page 2. So, she calls my service writer and he apologizes -- he didn't read the on line form I printed out. Geez. This seemed like such a great idea BUT I do have to get back to work now. Ugh.

Well, I'm not sure I have that much personal time off left but I did it anyway -- requested Monday morning off since all nonessential personnel were given Monday afternoon off. I just couldn't see any value in having the weekend off, going to work Monday morning, and then taking leave until 2008. Lots of people I work with have commented that Sarah is the first governor ever to give employees Christmas eve afternoon off.

Hope everyone is doing well. I guess I'm drinking enough of my own GoYin inventory to improve my mood.
Glenda,

Enjoy the party!

The prez gave the nonessential federal workers Monday off, and I got lucky. My employer did the same for us, taking the hit since they can't bill the government when we're not there.

If I don't catch you before Tuesday, Merry Christmas! (If I do, well, then "Merry Christmas!")

Thanks,

Joe
Merry Christmas to you, too, Joe. Nothing wrong with "digital" Christmas cards....quite the green movement actually. Saves paper, ink, stamps -- and provides a venue to use your children's wonderful art.

Today, I'm feeling a little sad for daughter and XH. I know...it's just a side-effect of neurobiological disorders. I talked to daughter last night and she isn't excited about going to dad's house to help start the "new family Christmas tradition."

I had no idea that was how his invitation was written until S22 told me last night. He had talked to his dad on the phone and then later read his e-mail. He said it made him angry when he read the e-mail because he doesn't want a "new family Christmas tradition" unless it involves our whole family and since it doesn't involve me -- well ... He said he wasn't going to leave me by myself while everyone else in "our family" was at dad's house. I told him I had planned to go to the spa and then was invited to a Christmas party. He asked me whose party and I told him. He wants to go.

S24 told me last night he is not going to dad's as his wife still cannot get into his truck with her knee brace. I told daughter when she called last night that her brothers aren't going -- she was not too happy about the thought of going by herself so I don't know if she will go either. I told her, if it was "my" party I'd drive out and let S24's family come in my car BUT ...

Her SO was going to go with her but he now has too many dictations to do from his ER shifts and he wants to have them all done before they leave Tuesday night on their vacation.

So, the tornado is still active here in the Land of Oz and it occurred to me today I can't wait to find out how this outcome is somehow all my fault because I'm "mean" to XH.?

Oh, well, I'm off to the bank, then the spa, then the party. Tomorrow, I'm off to Home Depot to either rent or buy a mitre saw. I'd rather not add to my arsenal of power tools but I have a feeling the rent will be more than the purchase.
Glenda,

Quote:
Merry Christmas to you, too, Joe. Nothing wrong with "digital" Christmas cards....quite the green movement actually. Saves paper, ink, stamps -- and provides a venue to use your children's wonderful art.

I guess you got my email?

One of my favorite things about it is having copies for the kids to see when they're older.

Quote:
He asked me whose party and I told him. He wants to go.

New family traditions usually require the family to buy into them. Again, the Christmas newsletters where my kids write their own pieces and do the artwork are an old tradition that I won't let die. I don't know what "new traditions" they have at their mother's house. As long as the kids are safe, that's none of my business.


Quote:
So, the tornado is still active here in the Land of Oz and it occurred to me today I can't wait to find out how this outcome is somehow all my fault because I'm "mean" to XH.?

Don't sweat it. You know the truth. Let him say all he wants; he'll just make himself less popular.


Quote:
Tomorrow, I'm off to Home Depot to either rent or buy a mitre saw. I'd rather not add to my arsenal of power tools but I have a feeling the rent will be more than the purchase.

Think of it as a Christmas present to yourself. I got my print of The Age of Reptiles mounted as a present to myself this year.

Merry Christmas!

Joe
Glenda,
Sounds like you have a lot of support as far as your kids are concerned. Don't worry about how this can be blamed on you. Who cares what he thinks/says. You and your family know the truth.

I'm so happy that you have lots of plans for the holidays!!!
Hi Glenda my gun totin' Girlfriend,

So you obviously are making it through and really in your world it is just another day.

Don't give ex another thought. It's not worth you time or energy. Have a wonderful, relaxing massage and a great time at the party. You so deserve to enjoy yourself.


....and remember, I want to hear all of the gorey detail, so report back he at 0 900 (I don't really know military time) and give me the scoop!

Love,
Bethie
Geez, it isn't 0900 but what the heck. I had a GREAT spa time. S22 determined he just wanted to "kick it" (don't ask me I'm not tuned into all the latest slang) but it seemed to mean he didn't want to go to my friend's party either. Still sulking about his dad's e-mail? So, I asked what he wanted to do -- he hadn't even had a chance to answer me when the phone rang. It was my daughter. Way upset. She was not going to dad's alone. Now her brothers aren't going. Her SO promised he would go, then said he couldn't because he had too many dictations to do, but he wasn't doing anything but playing on the computer.

So, S22 and I piled in my car and went to her house to all go out for a burger. We were just pulling up in the driveway when my cell rings again. SO is having an argument with her because "he" is available and she needs to be at home because they have a lot of stuff to do before their trip. Excuse me?

My poor child is in a pickle. I don't know what the root of it is but she has never been able to be without a guy in her life since she was old enough to date. So, she hopped into this relationship really quickly after her D. She was also still reeling from the verbal and some physical abuse from her ex. I feel sometimes like I've totally failed her somehow but I'm just not sure where.

At any rate, at her request S22 and I went without her. We did some shopping for him, which he needed, and then we had dinner and we talked, and talked, and talked. He is normally so quiet I can't get two words out of him.

So, even though I didn't go to my party, I had a good evening. I know my daughter isn't feeling any better but I will spend some time with her tomorrow while SO is at work. And, here I am feeling so bad for my kids and even bad for XH in some ways. I know he also invited all his siblings who are local, cousins I guess, etc., but none of our kids showed up. I wonder if he still believes the statement he made that "nothing will change except mom and I won't be married." Our kids were always at our house for the holiday celebrations, but they don't like what he's done. I doubt any of them have told him that -- even when they tell me. My answer is, hey, tell your dad. I don't see him, I rarely talk to him, e-mail him once in a while, but there is NOTHING I can do about his behavior so it doesn't give you much change of thinking he will hear what you're upset about by telling me. <big sigh>. I'll be glad when 2008 has arrived.
Spent most of today with daughter. I know she and her SO both have a hard time with things sometimes. He is an MD so I guess sometimes he is just more assertive in what he wants.

I guess I could post something about him that portrays him in a more human manner. He is a LBS or pretty much so. He didn't want a divorce but he wasn't about to agree to his now XW's terms for a reconciliation that she get to keep the boyfriend and him. Because daughter's SO is a doctor, there are different "rules" that apply to the divorce. He pays child support and alimony -- even though she has a master's degree and works. He also pays private school tuition, all extracurricular activity fees, buys all their clothes, and spends much of his time making sure they are where they are supposed to be when they are supposed to be there. This is even though his XW wanted 100% physical custody so he could continue his career as an ER doctor and she would take care of everything? He also pays a nanny so the kids are picked up when he can't, their laundry is done, and their meals are cooked. Through all of this his XW has continual "breakdowns" because of so much stress, etc. WTF?!

So, during the last two years, SO has had a heart attack, stent placement, and has developed diabetes. No, she isn't living with a man who has one foot in the grave due to age -- he's in his early 40s.

And, like most of us, he takes his frustrations, wants, etc., out on the person closest to him so rather than say anything she plays this little game. But, I am worried. She doesn't work outside the home, she doesn't have a college degree, and if something happens to him she will never be able pay the accumulated debt they have because his work shifts have been cut in half to try to give him time to rebuild his health.

So, I thank God I'm healthy. Perhaps my job here on earth is just to be a parent and a friend to my children. I guess in most instances that would be enough, huh?

So, now that I've spent time with daughter today, I'm going to get my booty busy and work on some prep work. Tomorrow, no matter what, the laminate is going down in the dining room.

Happy holidays to all and thank you all so much for listening to me whine. I try my darndest not to whine and/or cry in front of my children. This BB makes that a reality MOST of the time.
Glenda,

There's more to you and your life than being a parent and a friend for your kids. You wouldn't be those things if there weren't some strong beliefs and values inside you.

I hope you have some fun today and tomorrow, laminate notwithstanding. You deserve it.

Merry Christmas,

Joe
Well, I survived the holidays without too many tears...

I have now added a mitre saw to my Ryobi collection and I'm working on more laminate flooring while I also do double duty checking on daughter's house because of suspicious footprints all around the house in the fresh snow. Of course, a lot of their neighbors are out of town, too, so mom's security service is on-call.

Otherwise, not much going on. Getting lots of extra sleep and I needed it.
Man do I wish that you lived closer! I'm planning on having some hardwood put in and man it sure would make it cheaper if I knew how to do that stuff. How did you ever learn? Did you take classes?

I'm glad you survived. If in cas next year you don't would you leave me the tools? Just in case I take a class( yeah like that's gonna happen!).

Love you..........
Bethie
Quote:
mom's security service is on-call

BAM stop or I'll shoot!

Cool
Quote:
Did you take classes?


Beth, my kids keep telling me I'm "turning into a guy." Classes? Directions? What are those? I'm not sure about hardwood. Laminate is a lot thinner and it's actually pretty idiot proof. No glue. No nails. You just cut off the length you need and "click" it together. Each box comes with instructions BUT as an amateur my problem has been getting enough to allow for the 10% "waste." I think that is based on an expert doing the install.

Sometimes having no choice is the best teacher of all. But, it is the time involved. Had I had money to pay for it -- it would have been finished months ago. \:\(
Yeah, I need some target practice -- so far, all is quiet on her home front. It was probably some utility person and she just didn't hear the door.
Originally Posted By: Glenda_aka_kc
Quote:
Did you take classes?


Beth, my kids keep telling me I'm "turning into a guy." Classes? Directions? What are those? I'm not sure about hardwood. Laminate is a lot thinner and it's actually pretty idiot proof. No glue. No nails. You just cut off the length you need and "click" it together. Each box comes with instructions BUT as an amateur my problem has been getting enough to allow for the 10% "waste." I think that is based on an expert doing the install.

Sometimes having no choice is the best teacher of all. But, it is the time involved. Had I had money to pay for it -- it would have been finished months ago. \:\(


My dad (72 yrs old) and I put in about 1000 square feet of solid hardwood this past summer. It took forever and was agonizing!!!!!! And then STBXH came in and said it looked crappy. LOL
It aint as easy as putting together a jigsaw puzzle and you defintely need the extra 10%.
Originally Posted By: Glenda_aka_kc
my kids keep telling me I'm "turning into a guy." Classes? Directions? What are those?


Glenda, how about a sequined tool belt? Maybe, some 4 in heel steel toed boots? Please tell me that when you bend over we can't see your.........
Q ... no steel toe boots either, although I have some I don't wear them much.

And, I'm putting in flooring, not plumbing....there's no view of ....
Well, 2008 may yet provide me with target practice. When I bought my zero lot line (or half a duplex) I tried to find a decent neighborhood. I swore I wouldn't live in Mountain View ---- lots of crime or maybe I should say lots of publicized crime.

I even went on the muni web site and dug up crime statistics for areas I was looking at. Surprisingly, one of the worst areas for crime was where I worked -- big red circle. The area where my house is was orange. Colors for crime range from yellow (almost zip crime), to orange, to dark orange, to red.

But, as I've lived here I have learned more and more. We have gas stolen a lot. Some smuck stole what he thought was gas from my yard but it was water 'cuz the last schmuck didn't put the lid back on the gas can. There are police sitting around A LOT and two or three at a time go past my house on a routine basis.

I've heard faint gunshots before but tonight I flippin hit the deck. S22 and I were watching a movie and three shots went off -- could have been in my front yard. And, yes, I can tell the difference between gunshots and fire crackers. I regained my composure and checked my front yard for damage or bodies -- .223 in hand since it was all that was loaded. S22 checked the back. There was a lot of vehicle activity about two buildings down and several people. No one gave me a second glance. No more shots fired. No police were seen by me. Well, I didn't call them either since I pretty much feel it is a waste of my time. If I'd found a person hurt or dead -- I would have called an ambulance.

Geez -- can't a girl even be totally lazy and watch a movie in peace?
Originally Posted By: Glenda_aka_kc
Well, 2008 may yet provide me with target practice. When I bought my zero lot line (or half a duplex) I tried to find a decent neighborhood. I swore I wouldn't live in Mountain View ---- lots of crime or maybe I should say lots of publicized crime.

I even went on the muni web site and dug up crime statistics for areas I was looking at. Surprisingly, one of the worst areas for crime was where I worked -- big red circle. The area where my house is was orange. Colors for crime range from yellow (almost zip crime), to orange, to dark orange, to red.

But, as I've lived here I have learned more and more. We have gas stolen a lot. Some smuck stole what he thought was gas from my yard but it was water 'cuz the last schmuck didn't put the lid back on the gas can. There are police sitting around A LOT and two or three at a time go past my house on a routine basis.

I've heard faint gunshots before but tonight I flippin hit the deck. S22 and I were watching a movie and three shots went off -- could have been in my front yard. And, yes, I can tell the difference between gunshots and fire crackers. I regained my composure and checked my front yard for damage or bodies -- .223 in hand since it was all that was loaded. S22 checked the back. There was a lot of vehicle activity about two buildings down and several people. No one gave me a second glance. No more shots fired. No police were seen by me. Well, I didn't call them either since I pretty much feel it is a waste of my time. If I'd found a person hurt or dead -- I would have called an ambulance.

Geez -- can't a girl even be totally lazy and watch a movie in peace?


Posted earlier from Beth's thread:
Your kids will be okay because they know you love them unconditionally. I'm 50-something, my parents divorced when I was about 4 and my dad left me with my grandparents. I didn't go back and forth -- actually never saw my mother after that but she was a very physically abusive person -- but when my dad remarried he determined I should then live with him. It wasn't pretty there either. Stepmother didn't want instant motherhood. BUT -- knowing my grandparents loved me, especially my grandmother, got me through. I got to spend some time with my grandparents after that. When I was 16, my stepmother said my dad had to choose -- either I went or she did. I went and even though it was tough I got a job and finished high school because I knew that was what my grandmother would want me to do. It may sound weird but I just felt like she was my angel watching over me. Having one person who loves you just the way you are can make all the difference.


Glenda,
You constantly amaze me. You're one helluva lady!!! When I grow up, I wanna be just like you.

Edited by qoe100 (Today at 05:57 AM)
_________________________
I love being boring!!!!
Gun Control means using two hands.
That's what one of my bumper stickers says! When I bought it, it was a toss up between that and "Gun Control Means Hitting Your Target."

I think that is one of the reasons S22 has been in no hurry to find an apartment of his own. He'd rather throw a few bucks my way and make sure his seemingly absent-minded country girl mom locks the door at night. Another reason, I'm sure, is at $7.00 an hour he would have to have a room mate or spend 3/4 of his take-home pay to rent an efficiency in Mountain View.

But -- I have some GREAT news. Besides ADD, S22 is obsessive-compulsive. In order for him to help me with the floor, he got out his CAD software, loaded it on the computer, measured the whole space, loaded the information regarding where the room wasn't "square" to figure out what angle to put on the cuts so the boards fit the space correctly -- way more work than I did when I put the laminate in upstairs but I have to say the dining room looks better than the upstairs. And, in the middle of all of this, he says he thinks he'll go back to school and finish his autocad.

Woohoo. He's really good at it and it would certainly offer him more opportunities than day jobs. He was about halfway through when XH left and he just stopped going to class. So, tomorrow we're going to head to the couple of schools that offer it and gather materials.
Quote:
When I grow up, I wanna be just like you.



Jill, thanks -- but, do we have to grow up?
IF I grow up, I wanna be a firetruck.
Growing up is overrated. If you try it you will regress. Trust me I'm from the Government and I'm here to help.
Originally Posted By: No_hill_for_a_Swimmer
Growing up is overrated. If you try it you will regress. Trust me I'm from the Government and I'm here to help.


I'm from the Govt too but I'm retired now and am done helping....
Actually, I'm having a second childhood at the moment.
If you were a firetruck you couldn't mega-post. Then how would WE fill our spare time?
Weeeeewwwww, wheeeeeeeeeewwwwww! Clang! Clang!

Oh never mind, who wants to see a megapost of that?
Y'all crack me up!

No hill, I read somewhere you haven't met any women on here older than 29? I think that was Briget's thread? I may never grow up but I turned 54 the end of last November. And, Beth and Jill may say they are 29 ... but I have my sneaking suspicions that's just to get the younger men.

Joe, maybe you should consider being on the firetruck? Women just love firemen. I've even gotten e-mail from my friends about moving to Houston and starting their house on fire after the publication of pics of some firemen there. Not me. It looks like XH might be transferred there after the first of the year and I'd want to start his house on fire. \:o

And, I guess I'll just chime in ... I, too, work for the government. I used to help people but I'm still confused about this transfer I took -- I don't think I've helped anyone in MONTHS. I didn't get the position with oil and gas but I've got another interview coming up on January 7 for a natural resource manager position in the navigability unit. That could work for me. I'm pretty well versed in public trust, equal footings doctrine, ANCSA, ANILCA, and quiet title -- so, wish me luck. I think I'll get my federal resource law case study book out and do a review anyway.

Happy New Year's Eve to all!
Glenda,
Quote:
No hill, I read somewhere you haven't met any women on here older than 29? I think that was Briget's thread? I may never grow up but I turned 54 the end of last November. And, Beth and Jill may say they are 29 ... but I have my sneaking suspicions that's just to get the younger men.

I can't believe any woman would ever misrepresent her age in an online forum. That staggers the imagination. The repercussions would reverberate through space and time, shredding the very fabric of the universe.

BTW, have you read this?

Happy New Year!

Joe
Originally Posted By: Glenda_aka_kc
Y'all crack me up!

No hill, I read somewhere you haven't met any women on here older than 29? I think that was Briget's thread? I may never grow up but I turned 54 the end of last November. And, Beth and Jill may say they are 29 ... but I have my sneaking suspicions that's just to get the younger men.




Hey does saying I'm 29 for the 10th yr. in a row count? Damn, I just had a birthday... make that 11...
Quote:
I may never grow up but I turned 29 the end of last November

Yup proof positive I was not lying.

Quote:
I can't believe any woman would ever misrepresent her age in an online forum
I have never never seen or heard of that. It would be a first for me!

Quote:
Women just love firemen.
Even old firemen who joined just after fire was discovered? I can still do an interior attack and roll hose. Things do get hot in LA though they burned brighter 20 yrs ago.

Quote:
my friends about moving to Houston and starting their house on fire after the publication of pics of some firemen there.
Few of those Houston FFs were in Iraq with me but I have no idea what these women are talking about. They were covered with dirt and vulture poop, yelled obsinities while chasing bad guys. Why would you want something like that. LA is where you want to go!

Good luck on getting your Federal Job.

May you enjoy 2008.
Hi Glenda,

I just read about spring migration in Alaska on No Hill's thread. It sounds absolutely enchanting. Wish I could see it.

Happy New Year to you and yours.

Cheers

Loose (formerly CaseyMooCow)
Oh yeah...and I'm 34!
Glenda
Could you tell these ladies that the numeric system ends at 29? I'm tellin ya I have a bachelors in Computer Science and if I tried to compute anything past 29 in a contex of the female gender the terminal would just melt and every Female within 100 yds would grap their hockey stick and start swinging.
LOL. No Hill, I've been through that phase. I think I stayed 29 for about 10 birthdays. Then the Mattel car on the vinyl floor one-foot joy ride ruined it. When I did land on the floor my foot was at a 90 degree angle to my leg. Immediate swelling that looked like one-sided lower extremity elephantiasis. My friend that drove me to the ER was born the same year as me, just in April, so when they go to the part about the age ... I looked at her and said, Hey Krissy, how old are we really?

After that, I decided I might as well break down and be honest about the age thing...besides -- who cares -- I'm not trying to impress anyone. ;\)

Well, here in Alaska I've got about 35 minutes until 2008 ... so, maybe I should do something to celebrate. I think I still hvae a diet Coke with lime. So, Happy 2008.
Okay, so it's 2008. I've been taking Chantix and the worst side-effect so far is the INSOMNIA!

So, anyway, the other day I was mentioning on someone's thread about a voodoo doll of her XH and I would insert the pins. Look what I found on Craig's List -- now, if I just hadn't spent all my Christmas money. \:o \:D

The EX knife set...brand new in box never used...ordered this as a xmas gift but it was a little larger than I had thought...won't fit where we need it...price was $70 not including shipping.

Ah....darn it...I can't post the picture. It is a "person" who appears to have impaled himself on 5 knives.
Originally Posted By: Glenda_aka_kc
It is a "person" who appears to have impaled himself on 5 knives.


Uh, is he about 6 ft tall, thin, salt & pepper hair with a confused look on his face? If so, could be my X.
Or if he has a receeding hairline he could be mine...HA!

Glenda,

Just stopping by to wish you all the best in 2008. Lord knows, if anyone deserves it that would be you!

Love,
Bethie
Posted By: Trip Re: Land of Oz - I've Lost My Ruby Red Slippers - 01/01/08 05:25 PM
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Coffee over here. Hot. Hot chcolate on the side.
Yum...just finishing coffee and lots of "chores" to get done today. I just love weekends -- sleep until I wake up but still have a mile long to do list.

Next week, I'm taking three days out to go to a "Rich Dad" training. Anyone been to one of those?

My philosophy at this point is to open my mind and start looking at opportunities for making money and ... instead of saying I couldn't do that ... figure out which ones are good for me and how I CAN do that.

At some point soon, I need to dig out those goals from last year, check off the accomplished ones, and put together some 2008 goals.

At the top of my list this year is to stop smoking cigarettes and my motivation is money. Alaska (state and cities) has determined that is a great place to raise money that is politically correct. Right now, the state charges $2.00 per pack and the city of Anchorage charges $1.50 per pack additional taxes. As a middle class worker (I guess I'm middle class even though HUD says low income), I am really tired of subsidizing so, as the feds, state, and city consider how much to increase the tax they charge per pack, I'm making it my #1 goal to pay no more cigarette tax! And, so far, I've paid 0 in 2008. I've smoked two cigarettes but someone else bought them. ;\)
Posted By: WCW Re: Land of Oz - I've Lost My Ruby Red Slippers - 01/06/08 02:21 AM
What's a 'rich dad' training?

Congrats on no smokes! you can do it!
Hey WCW, I keep checking your thread -- any new updates?

Rich Dad training -- well it is something started by Robert Kiyosaki, a very wealthy man, who talks about the difference in thinking between his own dad and his friend's rich dad.

Most of the information deals with how to assess properties and find real estate deals that you can make money from and how to negotiate a deal so you don't have to have your own money to invest.

I've always been interested in real estate investing. One thing I have learned in the last couple of years is if you invest in a fixer upper to "flip" then you better have a crew. On a personal level I enjoy the work but I have little time to invest in it and my own remodeling has taken me over a year. Granted, it has needed to be much more extensive than I thought -- and I did have a $500 home inspection prior to the purchase which did not turn up the stuff I have found. So, it is a gamble.

However, everyone needs a place to live and, in my opinion, that place should be safe and affordable. I guess one thing I'd like to look at, and I'm hoping to get enough ideas from this seminar training to really dig into it, is owning apartment buildings. I don't want to be the slum landlord who is in court because the heat doesn't work in the building or the water is awful, etc., but as I know my years of hard work up to this point are not going to provide me with retirement income, I either must find another way or come to the cold hard realization I will work until I die.

I understand the three day training is just a come on for a more extensive, more expensive training but I plan to get as much information as I can from this and see if I can find another interested person to brainstorm with. I think I have that person in XH's sister. She and I have started hanging out together again in the last few months. We've set our boundaries and those include being truthful.

Like some of the people here, she doesn't understand why I'm not "over it" and moving on to a new relationship. But, I'll throw in the caveat that she is 40 and married for the third time.

I have a business briefing presentation tonight for my GoYin downline. I'm doing okay with the company, I personally really like the product so I guess that helps, but the recent change in their compensation plan has led me a determination I can make some money through others' efforts (after putting in a significant amount of work of my own) but I don't think I am going to get to retire and travel from this either. But, I'll take what I can get where I can get it and do a work analysis every few months to see where my efforts are achieving the biggest success.
Hi Glenda
Have some virtual coffee heated up by your virtual fireplace. It got to 72 here yesterday.

On my locksmith contracting a recent change in there compensation plan led me to leave it. With Compensation down gas up. I decided breaking even surfing was more fun breaking even driving all over the place.
Hey, I have a real fireplace. Not sure if it works. I need to find someone who cleans chimneys and then I'll light up a log. Or, who knows, maybe next summer while I'm painting the outside of this place I'll get over my fear of heights and crawl up on the roof and clean the darn chimney myself.

I can only dream of 72 at this point. I do have the 2 -- just not the 70.

Glad Monday is over!
Glenda,

I need to get some firewood for the fireplace. The "logs" in the store are not quite the same. They say that a fireplace can whisk more heat out of the house than it provides, so I think I'd really like a woodstove. In the basement, with the vent running out near the heat pump to warm the air near there.

Then I would get to clean all the extra dust! What did the Grateful Dead say about lighting a candle then cursing the glare? \:D

Have a great Tuesday!

Joe
Whew, I've been busy. Just passed another Tuesday!

I've been working on marketing plans again. I'm still working on my GoYin but oophda I've learned a lot this year about "compensation plans."

I'm in negotiations for a young company (one year old) that I think would have a lot of potential. This one will involve S22 and, with expansion to the Valley, S24. It is a grocery delivery business with a few elderly customers at this time. Alaska is a weird state in some ways, however, and the people here want to stay at home in their older years. The state also wants to keep them at home -- nursing home costs $100,000 per year +/- -- and the state provides services (using state and Medicaid funds) that include grocery delivery and other personal services for those determined to otherwise need placement. If you consider the large military population, people like me who just don't like to be bothered with shopping until there isn't anything to eat, etc., it could be a lucrative business with advertising. So, we'll see.

And, I accomplished one goal for 2008 by purchasing and installing Quicken for Home and Business. Used to use Quicken all the time but XH got custody of the computer with the Quicken. I've been manually tracking everything but the time has come to get automated again.

Other than that, New Year is going pretty well. I've smoked about three cigs since 01/01 but I haven't bought any yet and at the current price in Alaska that is a big savings. Gossip has it that the state and city (don't know if the feds have plans) are going to increase taxes $1.67 per pack this year. Now, add that to the $2.00 (state) and $1.50 (city) tax already in place here and wowzer that is a good reason to buy the Chantix. Besides which, I mentioned on someone else's thread that one of the alleged side-effects is bad dreams -- I've been having the nicest dreams about XH on the stuff Now, what does that say about me?
Posted By: koshka Re: Land of Oz - I've Found One Red Slipper - 01/16/08 11:55 AM
Glenda,

I think it says that you have a pulse!

Good luck with Quicken. I am not a big fan of it. Too many clicks and too many things it should be able to do that it doesn't.

Would you bill the state directly for the grocery deliveries to seniors?

Have a Happy Humpday!

Thanks,

Joe
Geez, not much going on here. I did not get the budding company. The cost was pretty low but I've had too much trouble earning enough to pay the monthly bills and live a lot on the credit cards. I paid them off last year -- at great expense to my retirement account -- but some months are just really tough.

I've done some more research on the network marketing and IF I can stick with it for four years I can probably earn a decent amount from it. Of course, that depends on what they keep doing with the comp plan. I guess the biggest problem is they imply you will be able to make LOTS of money right away and that just isn't true in most cases.

So, I've managed to find a "flexible" part-time evening job for an insurance company. An agent is just opening her office and wants people to make evening phone calls. She is paying by the hour -- so, I can do that. I figured if I work 4 evenings a week I can pay at least three of the utility bills I'm now putting back on the credit card.

I've had a good time reading here about how others are doing and getting on with their lives. I don't know how y'all do it sometimes. I do so few of the things we used to do. I simply can't afford it. I have eaten at a restaurant about 4 times in the last two years - on someone else's invitation and tab -- two of those were mother's day brunch. I don't go to the gym anymore. No time - no money. I haven't been to a movie. I've rented a four or five but geez, even that. I've made a couple of trips to the cabin. I keep thinking I should probably sell it but I just can't. S24 wants to buy it so much that I will just have to keep it afloat until he gets a more stability in his life. I guess if he ever gets to the point he can buy it, I could still go once a year.

Oh well, it is what it is. XH used to e-mail me about every 4 weeks. I thought it was funny, although pretty traumatic for me. He wanted to be friends. I guess things are going better in his life as I haven't heard a peep from him since the day after my birthday last year, 11/25. Or, maybe he has just finally gotten the idea that I have no inclination to be his friend. With friends like that I wouldn't need any enemies.

Well, I'm off to my storage to figure out how much space I need to borrow in other places to get my stuff out. That is one bill that just needs to be gone. I thought I would have my house done by now but I am just so sporadic. Was working on the living room floor and gouged a piece of the laminate moving stuff around (why I don't want my storage stuff here yet) and got completely disgusted and stopped. I so want a place with a garage. I also need to get my appeal written today for the property taxes. The city has me up again this year, assessed at about $15,000 more than places in here are selling for. If I don't appeal that my house payment will go up. Sometimes I wish I had just gotten rid of everything and bought a travel trailer to live in. Heck, if it wasn't a 3-hour drive each way I might consider living at the cabin but I'd have to probably throw in another hour in time just to get from the cabin to the road. Yikes!
Posted By: kml Re: Land of Oz - I've Found One Red Slipper - 02/09/08 10:57 PM
Hi girl -
Let's talk finance a little bit, shall we?

I know money's been tight since the D. I also know you have a decent job with benefits. So.....where's the leak in your bucket? If you were able to pay off the credit cards with retirement funds last year, why are you slipping back into the red now?

Is it legal fees for son? (Where is your ex on this one?). Remodeling expenses? The Latte Factor?

You've already identified storage fees as one drain. Do you really need to hold onto all that stuff in storage? How much could you just sell or give away and be free of? Could your kids store the remaining, "must keep" boxes for you?

You need to finish up that remodeling - can't you get your kids to commit to giving you one good weekend, then blitzkrieg through it? Are your perfectionist tendencies getting in the way? (Like - now the floor's not perfect, so I can't finish it? I have a sister like that).

Can you rent out a room in your house? Rent out your cabin?

I see you working so very hard, and just wonder what's keeping you financially down.

Ellie
Posted By: koshka Re: Land of Oz - I've Found One Red Slipper - 02/10/08 02:03 AM
Glenda,

Like Ellie, I was wondering if you might be able to make some money renting out the cabin. Are there groups who might be responsible, repeat renters? A sportsmen's club that doesn't have a hunting cabin of its own yet, or a snowmobiling group that could use the place for weekends?

As for that company, did they have good and bad points in their business plan where you might be able to improve on the bad and do your own gig? Maybe delivering prescriptions instead of groceries, or letting them order groceries at your online site a day or two in advance for you to do your "traveling salesman" schedule?

Thanks,

Joe
Ellie and Joe -- Thanks for the responses. WCW asked me about renting out the cabin as well but here's the scoop on the cabin:

1. It is in a recreational subdivision in the middle of Athna requested federal tribal land. Hunting in that unit is very restricted. Even though I own property there, there is very little I can hunt there.
2. The snowmobile club is headed by the owners of the lodge, about eight miles away. They groom the trails, hold poker runs, and all sorts of stuff but they have rooms for rent, cabins for rent, and RV space rental -- on the road, with running water and bathrooms.
3. Power/heat is provided by hauling in diesel fuel and running the diesel generator. So, do I provide the diesel and haul it in? Or, do I assume a renter would get the correct fuel, and/or oil, and check the oil and fill the oil? If the generator is burned up it's about $3000 at least to get a used generator that will run the stuff in the cabin. XH was very good at that kind of stuff. It can provide three phase power, is electrically run into the cabin -- only thing he didn't get done was the remote start. He was working on it.
4. The outhouse needs to have a new hole dug and to be moved. There is no bathroom in the cabin, not even a porta-potty -- no running water.

I just don't think it is very feasible to rent it. As a "family" cabin, we did all the things we needed to do like haul in water, fuel, supplies, etc. Maybe I'm just too sentimental because we built it right up from the railroad tie pilings that hold the foundation. I was oh so close to selling it and then S24 asked me to please keep it as he wanted to buy it. LOL. He spends over half his take home buying fuel to get to work.

S22 hasn't had any more legal fees in quite a while. I paid his attorney for the last one. He had to pay the fines. XH doesn't want to know anything about it. S22 has been doing okay except still not much direction in his life. He was leaning toward going back to school part-time and I talked him into going to the real estate seminar with me. He actually wanted to take some of their advanced training. I said, okay, if there are student loans -- go for it. I, too, am interested in real estate but ...

He and I don't see eye to eye on his direction right now but Anchorage has enough homeless people begging on street corners.

Ellie, is your sister ADD? Or, just OCD? S22 is both and he is the only one who ever has time to help. I think that is part of why I get so frustrated, throw up my hands, and do nothing for a while on the remodel. He doesn't want to do most of it when I'm not here as he might do something I don't like -- sounds like XH.

Daughter says, "I should come over and help you, mom." Always too busy. S24 can't keep up with his commute and the stuff he needs to do around their abode.

I'm feeling very tired and for whatever reason depressed. I've started taking my temps again and probably need to order from the company you told me about. I was doing really well, I think, but have lots of the symptoms back. I know my thyroid still isn't quite where it should be either, although I have a great MD to help me with that. He measured my reverse T3 and about had a fit. So, changed the meds and I'm trialing. I hate the trials of new meds sometimes. I know it isn't quite right because my eyebrows are falling out again, my hairdresser about had a fit as I have almost a whole strip where my hair is gone. It's on the back of my head so I don't see it. I'm about to the forget about it and shave the rest of it off stage. I see him again this month but my insurance doesn't pay for most of that either -- above usual and customary for Washington state and some of the labs, etc., they just don't cover. I'm not sure, other than our Health Trust is based in Seattle, why we follow usual and customary for Washington.

I guess my job is good and it does have benefits. One-third of my gross salary goes to pay my share of my benefits and taxes. Of the other two-thirds I bring home, half goes to the house payment, although it is PITI, and another quarter goes to the car payment. I got back into my bind somewhat because I went back to the neurobehavioral clinic. It is about 2-1/2 times as much and my insurance doesn't pay it, but I don't run out of Adderall all the time because I can't get my prescription -- like continually happened at the family practice clinic.

I got myself into a crunch by going to Nebraska when my MIL was so ill. Not current X, first X's mom, daughter's grandmother. She is a wonderful woman and that X has been nothing but cruel to her. Her other son died as the result some genetic heart defect. Her husband died from complications of diabetes -- so, for most of my life that I've known her she has had my daughter and me. I went to try to get her back home or bring her here. Neither one occurred. While she was in the hospital, just after she got out of intensive care, she signed a full power of attorney to her cousin and his wife. I don't know why she did that. She doesn't know why she did that. She was not of sound mind and I know that because I was there ...

Nonetheless, she is in assisted living, still thinks she is going home, the cousin's daughter is living in her house, and there isn't a darn thing I can do. I'm still paying for that trip. I fixed a lot of things around her house while I was there.

Helped S24 get his truck fixed. They only have one vehicle, which he drives to work, and there isn't any bus service from his house. They had their house on the market and were to pay me back when it sold but they took it off the market after lowering the price to the point only the realtor would have left the closing with any money. Realtor advised them to lower the price again. I advised them they need a place to live and they were not going to find rent on a 3-bedroom at twice what they pay for this house (rural housing assistance on the loan) and they better just keep it. So ... yep,

Helpled them fill out paperwork for energy assistance, food stamps, Medicaid, and I don't remember what else after DIL hurt her knee. He has no benefits with his job, is gone from 7 a.m. until 6 to 7 p.m. and, like I said, they only have one vehicle so DIL getting to these offices during state office hours ... doesn't happen unless he takes the day off. I had no idea the financial shape they were in. Half his takehome goes to fill the gas tank so they were behind on all the utilities. Even with that, they didn't qualify for most programs. I think they did get some energy assistance.

Yep, part of my leak in my bucket is not being able to let my kids go without heat, electricity, and food. Does XH help them? No -- he's "broke." And, perhaps he is, I have no idea.

I only have two bedrooms and one bathroom in my place. S22 has everything he owns in this life in one of them. He spends most of his non-working time here, and I wish he'd find a full time job since he's not going to school, and makes sure he cooks for me, etc., as he knows I'd never eat otherwise. I think I would but I'll let him cook and clean. Yeah, it would be nice if he paid rent but I'm pretty sure he isn't earning more than enough for his truck insurance, fuel, and Pepsi.

I don't think I'd rent out a room anyway, I still have some mold issues to contend with (kitchen) and I don't want sued by someone who figures out they are allergic to mold. And, an even bigger reason is I can only be around other people so long. I wanted that room to use as an office and a place to put Weekenders so I could host here rather than dragging the clothes to other people's houses.

I'm whining and it's all self-inflicted. I let myself get to feeling whatever and it's my responsibility. I also went to Utah for a conference but I used a mileage ticket, took a shuttle, and shared a room, so that one was pretty minor. I don't know if it helped me or not -- yes and no to that one.

I went to storage. I have two pieces of furniture there too big for this place anyway. They aren't in great shape so I'll try to sell first and if not give them away to someone in need. Otherwise, there are just about a doxen moving boxes. I don't know why I was thinking it was full. S22 did have some stuff there, I thought, but none now.

I am going to make myself get one box a day and go through it. I brought one home today -- big enough it was all I could fit in my car. I did ask daughter before. Her SO didn't want me to store stuff there. They have a "storage room" off their basement (under their garage) that they really don't use so I'll ask again. It is about 20 x 20, they have suitcases and their Christmas stuff in there. It is closed off with a door so no one sees anything there. But -- hey, it's their house so.

I'm not sure I could deal with it but the answer might be to pool all the money and buy one big house.
Posted By: koshka Re: Land of Oz - I've Found One Red Slipper - 02/10/08 03:33 PM
Glenda,

You have a lot to handle there. At least getting out of the storage will cut one bill from your load.

I'm still wondering about your cabin, though. It has appeal for you, and I know it would for some others, too. If it's not for hunting, maybe there are some Calvin kinds of families who'd like to vacation and could deal with the water, etc. to stay someplace less expensive than what the snowmobilers offer, once you can get the outhouse ready. I know if I were trying to go somewhere to write, being away from the road would be a selling point to me.

But for now I'll just say that I'm still amazed at all that you can get done.

Thanks,

Joe
Posted By: WCW Re: Land of Oz - I've Found One Red Slipper - 02/11/08 02:38 AM
I agree with Joe that it is incredible how much you DO get done. I may be a busy woman but YOU make ME tired!

I know how easy it is to fall behind in a hurry. I just had $500 in truck repair (extended warranty didn't cover) and with the record sub zero temps for extended days my electric doubled in one month. Yikes!

Glenda, if your life was a business you would have to 'cut the fat' to keep the doors open. What is the fat in your life? What is left to cut? You quit smoking right? (yeah for you!!!!) You're cutting out the storage. Is Weekenders and GoYin making money or costing money? Even if it isn't a monthly income but helps you with deductions to get a fat refund then I consider that income. What about cable tv, phone, cell, internet? I know it's hard to think about life without any of those things anymore but I'm facing the decision of what goes and what I can keep. I was going to cut off the landline phone and go just with a cell and then I was told that for any type of satellite tv or internet you need a landline phone?!

What are your assets? What would you advertise and promote to draw people to spend money at your business?
-cabin
-energy
-knowledge
-smart
-love of dogs
-not afraid to try new things
-passionate to help family

So that cabin - write up something with all the great things about it. There are people that actually LIKE just what you have to offer and don't have to spend an arm and a leg for all the amenities. Make them sign a waiver or acknowledgement of ability release to use the generator or it stays locked up and they use battery lanterns. If S24 wants so bad for you to keep then he needs to put some sweat equity into the project. You'll keep it but he maintains it and participates in making it rentable. BTW, isn't that where you are holding the DB party in July? ;\)

Have you checked into refi for the house or the car? lower the payments, combine them?

Is there dogsitting opportunities?
Is there grocery shopping delivery service opportunities?
Is there enough stuff to have a rummage sale?
How about some of those tools you bought and don't reuse?
Is there a McDonalds for S22 to get a job? I hear them and Starbucks have great benefits!
You do so much for your kids, certainly your D should give you a spot of storage in a room that is tucked out of the way.

It's hard to live and make a living, the cost of everything goes up and up, and the income just doesn't keep up. I keep a mental list of what goes first if/when H bails on me, it't not easy to think of going without the essentials of a basic life.
Maybe moving in together and renting your place out would be a way to get caught up and get some positive cash flow for all of you. Is that something you could do for a while?

Gosh I gotta go, Extreme Home Makeover is on and I just keep crying again. That show is so great but so sad too!
Glenda
You probably do more before 9AM than I do all day. It is not easy for kids and this society seems so unforgiving of past mistakes. Try to get a good night's sleep and the ideas may come. I liked WCW's post. Best wishes.
Quote:
You probably do more before 9AM than I do all day.


No, that was one of XH's biggest complaints. I am a night owl. Morning is the worst time of day for me. But, I spent the majority of my life working swing, graveyard, both together, etc., and it was never an issue when we had children who needed their mom available during the day.

WCW -- I am about as tense as a newly strung and stretched barb-wire fence. I made a comment about my car but I think it went to cyberheaven. S24 discovered I have a coolant leak with piles of white-looking stuff on the top of my engine. The same dealership does all my work since I have a service maintenance agreement but I'm just waiting to see how hard they fight to get out of fixing this under my extended warranty. When it snows -- it's a whiteout.
Quote:
Is Weekenders and GoYin making money or costing money?


Weekenders isn't making me any money, but I buy my work clothes at a discount. That is pretty much all I'm doing with that right now. GoYin is still on the positive side but not enough. I also use the two businesses to write off Internet -- it's all on-line work -- and the phone which I have to have to have Internet. I don't have cable, satellite, direct TV or anything like that. I have 5 air channel and a pair of rabbit ears.

Quote:
Make them sign a waiver or acknowledgement of ability release to use the generator or it stays locked up and they use battery lanterns.


No generator -- no heat! Well, not much heat anyway. There is a drip stove but it does not heat the cabin when it is really cold. It is the six electric heaters that run on the generator that keep it warm.

Quote:
Is there grocery shopping delivery service opportunities?
That was the very business I was trying to buy. They already have the basics done - web site with on-line ordering, yellow pages ads all paid for, wireless credit card machine, and enough customers to pay the minimal expenses until more customers. Couldn't swing it even at half the appraised price of the business.

Quote:
Is there dogsitting opportunities?
I don't have room for any more dogs in my pen and as little time as I spend with mine I think I would find a lot more things they get into if I wasn't ever home except to smell like other dogs.

I'm sure D would say okay but all has to be cleared through her SO and, well ...

I really don't have a lot of tools right now that I won't be using. I have the skil saw, jig saw, cordless drill, sawsall, a couple of hammers, and my mitre saw that I'm using on the floor. When I do get done with that floor, I have to start on the kitchen. It will end up being totally gutted. I figured I'd need to just replace the cabinets, too many don't work or need work, but I have to take out all flooring down to the original (mold). I'm either going to need to hire an engineer or do some research so I can get the grade and drainage right in the back yard next summer. Hopefully it won't drain into the crawl space this spring again but we are having a lot of snow. So, when I finish that, I'll probably go ahead and build another wooden deck. The tiles looked really nice as a patio but they are a problem with the drainage and the dogs have had a great time digging them up. So, I have half a patio.

I have a feeling the next place I buy will be a fixer upper as well just to buy enough at a price I can afford. But I am going to look into HUD rehab money. It has to be owner occupy so I need to be picky BUT I can get six months of loan payments with the loan so it could be rehabbed prior to movning in. I won't even think about it until summer. That really is a lot of S22's complaints about working here. Even without much furniture (two chairs, a coffee table, a TV, a buffet, and a bookcase), it all has to be moved around the flooring and the mitre saw in 300 square feet of space. Oh, and then there are all the boxes of laminate, too. It is a lot of work when you're living in the space. Vacuum, put plywood down, measure, put in a couple of rows of laminate, move all stuff to new space -- repeat. There are so many errors on my part, S22 thinks we are going to run out of laminate. If we do, I am going to change my mind and get a commercial carpet remnant for the living room -- easier to vacuum up dog hair and I swear they shed all the time in town.

Heck yeah! We wouldn't even need the generator in the summer -- 24 hours of sunlight, propane cooking stove, BBQ, and it's warm. I can haul plenty of Guiness, "vino", diet Pepsi, and water on the back of my fourwheeler. July would be the time. August is WAY too rainy. So, if you want to come party at my cabin on the 4th of July weekend -- let me know! Maybe I can get the outhouse ready before that.

I don't know why ... I'm just down. Sometimes it just seems the harder I swim the faster the current gets. I wanted to know something about S22's insurance, which is paid on XH's account. S22 doesn't know what kind of insurance he has? I think he pays XH for it -- but I'm not asking. I don't want XH to ask me for money if he isn't. I was hoping perhaps the insurance would pay for putting in the back window we just had to have done. No response to my question -- I guess I'm just to mean to answer. So, what the heck -- big IT security person he is -- I finally just went to the insurance site and put in our old ID and password. He hasn't changed it. So, at least I got my answer and S22 doesn't have coverage for that. Oh well -- why would I have thought otherwise?
Well, blizzard on! I found out today I don't have an extended warranty on my car. Say what? I don't think XH ever bought a car without an extended warranty and we were together when this one was bought. I have a 5-year maintenance warranty -- okay?

So, I have no coverage for the o-ring something or another that is leaking coolant, no coverage for the pinon something or another that is leaking, and a leaking seal in my transfer case. Of course, my question is why they didn't notice any of these things until now....when I'm out of warranty.

But....all I know is I need my car to work so WCW I'm gonna double that truck repair cost and hopefully not raise the bid.
Posted By: koshka Re: Land of Oz - I've Found One Red Slipper - 02/14/08 10:55 AM
Glenda,

You have a blizzard? We got a Dixie blizzard during the night. I can only see some of the deck floor out back, and there are patches of grass (well, what I call grass) in my front yard that are coated with snow.

Good luck with the car. Maybe it's time to meet a nice mechanic? \:\)

Happy St. Valentine's Day!

Joe
Posted By: WCW Re: Land of Oz - I've Found One Red Slipper - 02/14/08 02:24 PM
Glenda, my truck is back in the shop because after $500 of exploratory surgery the problem was not found or fixed. It still quits when I let off the fuel, and keeping it on the road with no power is NO fun! I took it to a different shop this time. They call me Ms WCW. That takes some getting used to!

While my truck is in the shop we are getting another 6-8 inches today and I am driving a goofy little car. I am supposed to pick up my mom for a Womens Only Valentine Banquet (its become our tradition) and then drive an hour to get there. What's really disappointing is that my mom likes riding in my truck and gets the 'high view'.

Cabin heat isn't needed for the summer months right? battery lights would work.
Dog sitting - go to the dogs house for care 2 or 3 times a day. Some dogs just don't do well to go to a kennel and the owners would be happy to have you come care for their dog (or cat) at their own home. I know a lady gets $10 a day to care for cats in her own home!
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