OK, so here's the update.
I wrote about the open house night on Monday night at S14's school in my last post. One more interesting part of that evening was the silent auction. There were baskets on tables all around the school lobby for two groups doing silent auction fundraisers. Most of the stuff was geared toward women, with skin care products and salon certificates, etc. But there was one with a mountain cabin rental for two nights, a gas card, and some other stuff. I bid on that.
When I came back to check on it, XW was standing in front of it. I wondered if she was planning to bid against me, but she didn't. Someone did, and I think they were a school employee, 'cause they listed the school instead of a phone number for their contact info.
Over the course of the evening I bid again, and so did they. I bid one last time, at the highest I was willing to go. Each time I went by to check, XW was standing in front of it.
Just before the next to last "class" in our simulated school day, the auctions closed. I got my cabin rental. I went to that class (S14's math class), and XW was already there. When that one finished up, I spent some time talking to the teacher. S14 has a lot of math ability, with standardized scores in the eighties for several years now, but he insists he can't do math.
Then I went over to the last class. Where, just as at D11's school the previous week, there was no XW.
Tuesday the schools were closed for the primary elections, so there was no XW parked in front of my house that morning.
I got a call from D11 during the day, though.
D11 - "Dad, how do you make a web page?"
Joe - "A D11, you made one. Remember? It's still online on the Internet. Your 'Don't smoke' page."
D - "I know, but I want to work on one now."
J - "OK, but this isn't something I can explain to you over the phone. At least not while I'm at work."
D - "You're at work?"
J - "Yep. Just because the schools are closed in MD doesn't mean I get the day off work."
"I can go over this with you when you come home. Just remind me on Sunday night. I don't even know what's on your mother's computer to suggest how you would work."
Later I found a web page that teaches HTML for kids, and I texted it to her phone.
Wednesday morning. S7's birthday! I would have gone into work early that day, but instead I met S7 when XW pulled up in the morning. I wished him a Happy Birthday, and XW said, "He's grumpy." I figured I'd let S7 tell me how he felt, so I kept talking to him, and I sang "Happy Birthday" (with the "cha-cha-cha"). He seemed to enjoy it, and to enjoy pretending he didn't enjoy. Not that I sing well enough for him to enjoy
that, but he did enjoy the attention.
I asked D11 if she'd gotten the text message. She said she had, but she had moved on to other things by then, so I guess we'll be doing some html this week. D11 was sitting in the back seat of XW's truck, doing homework. She'd been off school on Tuesday, and here she was on Wednesday morning, doing homework in the last few minutes before her bus was due. I started to help her (she asked me about abstract nouns), and XW started in on her. "D11, is that your breakfast? Why didn't you eat it?" The question in my mind was "Why is she taking breakfast and homework in the truck with her, especially when she had a whole day to get the homework done?"
Anyway, we finished up her English homework. I don't know what else might have been incomplete. I got a letter from the school on Thursday informing me that she was supposed to have brought back some work signed by a parent earlier in the week. Since she didn't, she got a zero for it.
Ya know, I don't have another adult living in my home who can help with meals, etc. in the evenings. Yet the kids get their homework done, and I go through their folders to sign and return the things the schools send home. The kids have a dinner every night, and a breakfast every morning. What can be so important that they can't get those basics when they're not home?
Never mind. I'm just venting again. But this woman can't make the meetings at school, or can't stay for the whole thing when she does, doesn't get the kids to do their homework or eat breakfast, doesn't reimburse me half the costs for school supplies or medical/dental bills, doesn't pay her portion of the outstanding tax liablity from the last joint filing, parks in front of my house in the morning instead of paying for child care (and her child care costs were a factor in the CS calculations). What exactly did she want when she tore up this family? What does she think she's getting now?
Wednesday night I saw my T. It was the first session in a few weeks. It's a better time on Wednesdays than my old Friday slot was, too.
Thursday I got a call from S14's math teacher. He'd been late to class twice, and a third time would mean automatic detention. It turned out to be because his history teacher held class in the library, so he had a long way to go back to his locker and up to the third floor at the opposite end of the building. He's going to work it out with the teachers to avoid getting pinned with that third "late."
Thursday night was the first meeting at D11's school for the PTSA. Once again I didn't make up any time at work, but I did get to the meeting just a few minutes after it started. You'll never guess who didn't attend! (Insert sarcastic smiley here.)
Leading us to today, Friday the 15th. Estimated taxes day, so I can remember how tight money is until I get her tax bill paid. But the big thing about today is the dance at D11's school tonight. Her first dance.
She went with a friend who's a year older than her. They had been classmates back in the school D11 just completed. Her friend paid for her admission, started walking toward the stairs to the gym, saw the chaperone at the top of the steps, and turned back to tell D11, "Your Dad's here!"
It was raining so the kids' shoes were wet. The stairs are metal, and one of the other chaperones suggested we tell the kids not to run. So I had gone to the top of the stairs to warn them as they came in. Somehow I became the "running police." At least it was a dance, and not something dangerous like an art class with scissors.
By the end of the night, I wasn't sure I could bend my leg again. I spent the night on the landing of a stairwell, telling kids, "Stop running," "I appreciate your concern for safety," and so on. Some of them kept coming past to pretend they were running in slow motion, or to tell me, "I'm walking!" or whatever. I knew a dozen or more of them from teaching religious ed these last few years, so I could speak to some of them by name. Maybe next time I'll rent a tux, seeing as I didn't for the D hearing.
D11 only came by me twice, and the first time she acted like I wasn't serious when I told her to stop running. I was, and I'm hoarse now.
So my little girl is going to the school dances now, where she'll likely meet some guy. I'll have to insist he fills out the application and passes the background check and clearance.
It's funny. I used to play a certain song by Clannad when I was putting baby D11 to bed, and "dance" with her to it. Last year she heard the CD again, and told me how much she likes that song. I told her about playing it for her as a baby. I imagine we can dance to it at her wedding reception. My darling is growing up!
Anyway, that's the stuff at schools. S14 had a brush with "the law" but is taking responsibility to solve the problem. D11 is in some bit of trouble, probably over disorganization, but I can help her make a schedule that works for her and then adapt it to life at XW's house. S7 had a great party and will get good word of mouth to support his invitations to the Halloween party.
As for the house, the best news is the Japanese maple tree. Years ago I mentioned to XW that I thought it would be nice to put a deciduous tree in the front yard outside our bedroom. It would block the afternoon summer sun, give us a view in the spring and the fall, and not block what little sun there is in the winter. I showed her how I imagined it in the yard. I expected (dirty word, that) she would have some ideas and discuss them with me.
I came home one day to find a new tree in the front yard. It was on the edge of the yard, just about a foot from the driveway. By now it's about 15 feet tall, and in the summer it shades one corner of the garage. Some of its branches hang in the driveway now, too, so we have to walk around it to use the car.
I told the kids I was thinking of cutting it down. They didn't seem happy about that. D11 seemed to be bothered the most. But when the remnants of Hurricane E came through here a couple weeks ago, they soaked the ground so much that the tree started tipping over. I called a local nursery about that, and they told me that I could probably transplant it, if I wait for it to go dormant. No guarantees that it'll be ok, but I know it won't be ok if I move it with the chain saw!
So maybe D11 and her brothers can keep the tree that (I think) reminds them of their mother, and I can get the summer shade, etc. that I wanted all along.
At S14's open house, I was seated in the auditorium near some neighbors. I didn't know them very well (they're at the front of the subdivision and I'm at the back), but when we started talking I recognized the H as D11's social studies teacher. Anyway, when I told them which house is mine, they told me that it has the largest floor plan of any house in the subdivision. I didn't bother to tell them about the addition.
In real terms, I guess I have the "white elephant," since I've always heard that it's not a good idea to buy the biggest or the smallest house in a neighborhood. But in "this is where we live no matter what its market value" terms, I guess it's nice to think we do have a lot of room. Until I try cleaning!
So, tomorrow is my last chance to make up some time before the kids come home. I do have some work I can do, so I'm going in for a few hours. I'd like to get to the point where I don't go to work on Saturdays and holidays just because the kids aren't home that day. Once I get out from under the old tax bill I'm going to make a point to take that time off. I won't make full-time hours, but I don't do that now anyway, even with working on holidays, etc. If Labor Day had been during XW's week, I'd probably have worked then and could take tomorrow off. And if wishes wuz fishes we'd all ride for free, according to Ben Grimm.
There, now you're all caught up.
Thanks,
Joe
But that won't change anything in your world. 
