We tend to say on here that life is like a book, you close one chapter and then start a new one. I've been thinking about this... and question, at what point can you just finish the writing of one book and move on to start a new book in the series of our lives?
I'm considering starting a new book all together. The second phase of my life... the next hopefully 40 yrs. Starting with a possible last name change for me. Tired of still feeling even remotely related to the exH after 6yrs. Initially, I kept it for Blondie but when she says she can't wait to change her last name... well that is that I needed to hear.
Speaking of the exH... he still hasn't phoned Blondie since the trip. I have told her to hold her ground and not give in. Oh I know the man too well and as predicted, he sent her a package that just screams out... Call me to thank me. Once again, he only knows how to BUY her love. Since the man clearly has no McNuggets... I suggested, send him a Father's Day card and include a thank you note for the gifts. I am not going to let her give in to him. She's done it all her life... she's made her stand, I will continue to support her here.
Life is actually quite lovely these days. Mister C came and spent almost a week with us. I really was apprehensive about all this, him, me, the visit... but it really was great. Everyone, including mom and blondie are just smitten by the man. If I hear one more time, how refreshing it was to have a real man around the house, I may just puke!! Just kidding... trust me I enjoyed it too!
Anyway, I sent him off and felt a bit of a tug at the heartstrings. Apparently so did he, he's coming back out for somewhere between a couple of days to a full week (if he can change the ticket) in July. I still can't believe all this is happening. Neither can he. As we said, it was a meet for a drink, nothing more really intended. LOL... Who would have known.
Tina had her baby a couple of weeks ago. Mish goes in for her sonogram tomorrow... we'll know just how far along she is and the sex of the baby.
Lisa,
I'll have a glass of champagne to start my evening off early!
Do you think we can really ever close the book? I have also considered closing chapters versus closing a book, but I always feel what happened in previous chapters makes me the person I am today and since the core of me can't be changed won't I always be in the same book just progressive chapters?
Interesting thinking anyway.
I am glad the visit went so well. A very nice start to either a new chapter or a whole new book!
Hey Sassy
I'm considering starting a new book all together. The second phase of my life... the next hopefully 40 yrs What only 40 years ~ I am aiming for at least 60. My great nanna lived to 105 so that is my plan. They breed women tough in my family. Love the name change idea.
I like the idea of a 2nd Act. Life seems like a play, esp. after surviving that hellish intermission.
Oh and I will have a glass of red served by a gorgeous creature with Antonio's buns in tight black pants
(shirt optional
)
Hey Sassyone!!!!
I'm changing my name too!!!! Like you, I don't want to be associated with my X so I'm adopting my stepdad and using his name. Unfortunately, it kinda makes me sound like a porn queen.......
Hey Lisa -
A new book it is. Why not? Isn't forty the age where we find ourselves and our true sexuality (or our peak!
)? Great time to start a new book! Lots of empty pages waiting to be filled!! Where to begin.....
I've had my married name almost 1/2 my life. I think I'll keep it for now - and my kids won't get confused! But I'm a Ms. now, not a Mrs!!!!
Take care -
WCB
I'm thinking this is going to be a whole new book... not just a new chapter. It's time. With the ending of relationships and friendships... time to completely start off, all the way around.
Hi Lisa,
Stopping by to say hi and bump you up. I'm with you on the new book.
Good for you and Blondie for hanging tough. Isn't it funny how easy it is now to see through some of the wankerish behavior of our Ex's? It amazes me. Why did it take me so long???
Hope you are well.
Spitfire
Waaah... the gremlins ate my last post!!
Oh well... life has been crazed this past week. Mish spent the week in the hospital with a viral infection. They never did find out what it was but she's home now resting. They may induce labor around 36weeks.
Hard to believe a month ago tonight we were in Vegas, getting drunk and C entered the bar and my life... Yasmin was right once again, things haven't been the same since the 26th. It's been fantastic.
He's coming back for the 4th and now spending a week. We're all going to San Antonio and the hill country for a couple of days while he's here then back to do some more repairs around the house... I finally have my own cabana boy and no I am not sharing this one... he's all mine. Of course you can all enjoy the picture I just emailed most of you!!
Speaking of C... received one helluva email from him the other night... there is a mutual falling here... I keep trying to stop and look for red flags... it's always been so easy to spot in others before but this one keeps outwitting me. No games, no BS, just someone very special who seems to as HE claims to have catapulted his way over my walls and yeah, it appears straight into my heart. But it feels good, no it feels effen great and it feels so natural that alone is what makes it all scary. But until he proves himself otherwise, I'm just going to enjoy this wild ride.
Blondie's father has finally kissed and made up. I knew if she stood her ground, he'd come around eventually. He's taking her out for her birthday lunch tomorrow. He also bribed her with front row tickets to a concert last week. They went for a couple of bands and left early but had a good time anyway... at his expense ;-)
Sunday is Dday here... one year since the bomb. Not sure what or if I will feel anything. Someone from the dart world forwarded a picture of me of wanker and skanker (most of you got it via email)... I think they do make a lovely couple... not sure if it is all the alcohol or what but between them they've gained almost 100lbs since I saw them last and well I'm not seeing the happiness there... but again maybe it's just the alcohol. Who knows. I do know that I looked at him and saw nothing... felt a bit of sadness looking at a very lost man. No signs of the man I knew at all. I don't even recognize the smiling eyes anymore that used to melt my heart away. They look blank and dead.
Me I've found peace of mind, happiness (internally and externally), and love again and on Thurs the Salvation Army finally promises to come get the remainder of his things including (sit down) the printer... yes finally they have committed to it. Closure finally on one helluva year. Life truly does go on... if someone had told me that all this would have happened a year ago to me I never would have believed it... even when it all fell apart I don't think I would have ever believed that there was a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. But there was.
Hope everyone has a great weekend!!
YeeHaw! You are sounding great, girlfriend. Hey, I'm out of the loop on the email/pictures. Bet they were great.
Hope it starts raining soon in Texas so you don't lose all your flowers.
Happy for Blondie, too. Maybe it's a good thing that she is learning how to deal with difficult relationships this early in her life. It may spare her a lot of pain in the future.
Spitfire
Hey sweetie... send me your email addy
sexysadietx@yahoo.com
Hey Lisa
Thanks for the pic of Wanker and Skanker. Hey did you notice the nearly matching outfits
They are obviously made for each other.
And get that poor boy out of the cold and somewhere warm.
Are you doing anything special on Sun? You've come a long way. And the
bl@@dy printer will soon be gone. Woo Hoo!
LOL... Yes they were definitely made for each other. The pics were from this years tournament in Houston, held last week. We all went to it last year 3 weeks after we broke up. What a cozy weekend that was, let me tell you. I remember it as though it was just yesterday, wanker thought I was going to pay his and skanker's bill down there... even had the McNuggets to brag about it. I laid down the law to skanker and said he was her responsibility Bank of Lisa had been shut down. Yeah I've come a long way baby...
I went up to Austin Ave tonight to celebrate my anniversary (LOL). It was nice to go up after taking a break... felt like a celebrity walking in. Compliments galore (always good for the ego). BTW... the 24yr old was there. HA HA, he told me he had just turned 25 and I said that's great but I have a BF now. (LOL, never mind that BF is only 5yrs older than him!) I played darts for the first time in several months. Not too shabby I think maybe I'll give it another shot and start going back up.
One of the women there split from her H this week. I may have mentioned her before. She was always blatantly trying to pick up on the men in front of her H and once gave me a rash about the men coming on to me... blah blah blah. Anyway, she was upset because H showed up... Memories... like the corners of my mind...
It's Blondie's bday tomorrow. Not sure of her plans during the day but we are going out for Italian tomorrow night for dinner. I think tomorrow day would be excellent for some Kismet retail therapy!!
Trust me that boy will be somewhere very nice and warm in just 8 days!!!
Well the anniversary date has been totally uneventful... nothing, no tears, no feelings other than pure bliss and happiness once again in my life.
I know that Newcomers when they first go through all that we have say to themselves that they will never recover and never will make it without their WAS... I am most definitely living proof that there is life and the possibility of an excellent life after the bomb.
We had a lovely day... went shopping. Nothing like finding a bathing suit at 1/2 off (WOO HOO!) and then a little lingerie shopping to finish up the afternoon. Had a lovely dinner at our favorite restaurant and C phoned in to wish Blondie a Happy Birthday while we were enjoying dessert. Hard to believe that a year ago I was a pathetic wreck not knowing what I was going to do or how I was going to make it through another day... but I did. I did. It was a matter of finally letting go and moving forward and not looking back. I give admiration to those that cannot let go and that chose to stay connected emmotionally and wait for their WAS to come back to them. I just couldn't do it and now I can say honestly that I have no regrets. Life today is a thousand times better than it was a year ago and even a bit longer than that. I'd never go back through that hell and yes Dave was right... I was miserable. I thought he was wrong but truthfully he knew I just couldn't go on living like that with him. I hope one day he'll find his way in this world and pull himself together... but it's not my problem anymore.
Thank you to everyone who has stood by me this year... pushed me forward, listened to me vent, comforted me in my moments of weakness... thank you!!
oh lisa you sound wonderful
my one year mark is only just a little over a month away and I must admit it has been playing on my mind...but you sound so good I will have to stop stressing
I look forward to chatting with you soon
hugs
ruth
Lisa,
You sound awesome!!!
Thank you for the photo. Nice way to brighten the morning although I'm glad no one was standing behind me when I scrolled down!! LOL
Lisa
I agree with everyone else ~ you are living the life!
She was always blatantly trying to pick up on the men in front of her H and once gave me a rash about the men coming on to me... blah blah blah. Oops, there goes the coffee. Some antibiotics will clear that rash up
So tell me was the bomb on Blondie's birthday last year? Talk about timing. I hope you both had cake this year. Happy Birthday Blondie!
Nothing like finding a bathing suit at 1/2 off (WOO HOO!) and then a little lingerie shopping to finish up the afternoon Yes, gotta love that retail therapy
Well bet you're glad that year has been put to bed. Here's to better days! Clink Clink (only coffee here tho)
Yes the bomb started on Blondie's bday... we had gone out for a lovely dinner. Wanker promised to pay for dinner and invited Tina and her H along too. When the bill came (and oh boy the bill was a good one as it was a Japanese Steak restaurant) he didn't reach for his wallet... I waited and waited and finally ended up paying. She had a sleepover so he went out... came home at 2am and phoned from outside the garage, said he was so drunk he couldn't find the garage clicker to get in the garage (which was up on the sunblocker) and then he said he didn't know the alarm code (he lived here for 5yrs!!) and I was slightly pissed... he left in the am to go drinking again and that was the last we saw of him. Had his stuff packed for him and in the back of his friends truck that was at the house.
Yes here are to much better days!! Got my whole life ahead of me. BTW... told C about the email I sent out... he got a good laugh. He said next picture taken is of me standing behind him keeping his private's warm!!
What can I say, the man makes me smile...
strongandsassy, I posted to you on keysters thread I'm sorry I just got to typing and away I went I will next time be sure to check who it is before I start posting thanks again Joa.
Lisa,
Wow, a whole year. Congrats I guess.
Anyway, I haven't posted on your thread in a while but I do lurk from time to time. I'm glad to hear you're happy. No, things didn't work out between you and the wanker, but it isn't because you didn't try. You tried to work on your R, realized he wasn't what you wanted after all, decided what you really wanted and went for it.
And yes, I think a new book may be in order. Just remember that a new book will mean a whole new adventure (some good some bad) and perhaps some new drama.
I wish you all the best,
SuperStressed
Sassy,
Thanks for the heads up regarding the drinking thing...you were so right on it is not funny. Well...yes it is in a way. Also, thanks for those book suggestions, picked em up today.
AK
Lisa, Sounds like you are fulfilling your name. STRONGANDSASSY.
TD
Oh TD I am most definitley Strong AND Sassy... ya'll should see me now... I am doing the Happy Happy Joy Joy Dance around the house!!! WOO EFFEN HOO!!!! The printer and all it's nonsense are GONE!! YEEHAW!!!
I was soo thrilled to get rid of it that I helped the guys from the Salvation Army get it up on the lift they brought. I started cleaning out the garage whie they were here, handing them everything and anything I could find, including the Freaking Lawn Mower that he HAD to have and used twice that first summer he moved in and left the mowing thereafter to me, cause it was just too hot for him.
Oh well.. get out the Wine, Margaritas and keep those Cosmos flowing!! Cause we need to party folks!!
C was very cute yesterday asking if Wanker came back and knocked on the door and begged for forgiveness and promised that he'd change would I take him back... and very calmly I said No... I've never been happier in my entire life... wouldn't trade any of this to go back to that. Truer words have never been spoken... I'm happy.. can you tell?
I've really learned a great deal... let go of ALL the negativity and toxicity in my life, including those that claimed to be friends. Peace at last, folks, let me tell you, peace at last.
Party? what's this about a party?
Can I try 1 of each - wine, cosmo and margarita?
Gosh I wish was Friday
Good for you!
Lisa,
Small victories. They make life worthwhile. So happy you are no longer the babysitter of the printer.
I'll have a beer, thanks. It's hard to change old habits!
Geeze, we could've had a party and buried the printer!!! OK, cosmo sounds good to me. Make that 2.......
Lisa -
I'm with Jill! We should have had a dump the printer extravaganza! But then I'm always up for a party!!
Have a great 4th......
WCB
Hey hey I'll have a drink or 10 at the pi$$ off the printer party! Woo Hoo.
Lisa, AWESOME attitude. You and Key are inspirations to us that are just starting on the road to recovery.
Thanks, TD
Hi Sassy,
How's it going in your world? You sound great.
It must get old reading my threads when all I can say is that life couldn't be better and I couldn't be happier... but that's just where I am at.
Just spent a lovely week with C. We went out of town and took Blondie and her BF with us. Had a spectacular time. We also ran into exH and GF at a concert while he was here. C met the exHs exGF (ya'll keeping up here with all the GFs) the night before. exH felt a tad bit uncomfortable standing with his arms crossed while C, GF and I chatted it up. Meanwhile I was smiling inside, 17yr age difference between the two of them and the younger one had the more mature manners. Go figure.
The more time we spend together, the closer we become. The man shares his thoughts and emotions openly with me. He's priceless, says that he's losing his machoness by becoming sappy with me and between ya'll and me, I am loving every minute of it. In my two Rs I've never had a man so expressive before of his feelings, not only vocalizing them but also backing it all up with actions. For however long he's in my life, I'm enjoying it... day by day. I said I wanted a man who knew how to make me feel like a woman and boy do I ever have that... and then some.
Those 3 little words have been exchanged... the days leading up were quite cute as I think he was testing my feelings before he finally said it... first it was I love so many things about you... then it was I am falling for you and then... those 3 little words. It's just all so surreal...
BTW... going back out to Vegas the 29th of July through the 1st of August, so if anyone is heading out there at that time and wants to head over the Mandalay for martini's just let me know we'll be happy to meet up with you.
It must get old reading my threads when all I can say is that life couldn't be better and I couldn't be happier... but that's just where I am at No, you just relish it. You've earnt it girl
Those 3 little words have been exchanged... the days leading up were quite cute as I think he was testing my feelings before he finally said it... first it was I love so many things about you... then it was I am falling for you and then... those 3 little words. It's just all so surreal...
Aaawww ~ so happy for you Lisa
Hi Sassy,
It's been forever since I surfed these boards or checked in on anyone... sadly it seems like the old gals have done the same... but I was thrilled to see your name and to hear how well you're doing!
You all got me through some of my darkest times and I'm so very grateful for that!
So, cheers to you. I'm so glad you're doing awesome and that you've made your own happiness!
- Chrissi
Lisa,
Sounding happy as usual, just checking in on you!!!
When are you coming to Florida?
Love,
Lisa
Oh my two names from the past... how the heck are you two doing??
Trying to Smile... whatever have you been up to? Wondered where you went off to... send me an email...
sexysadietx@yahoo.com Lisa... Lisa.. when am I coming to FL... well the relocation to FL has definitely been put on hold... it seems that I may be relocating back to California or somewhere north a bit, Utah or Colorado has been in the discussions, even Santa Fe... but I'll know more in the next year or so. No rush.
But as for a trip there... I would think that would be in order very soon. I've been talking to BigAl about a DB gathering in Key West. I think that would be a fun place for us all to meet up.
So... just thinking out loud here... C and I have been talking a bit about going to up to Chicagoland this fall. i had mentioned to him about a DB get together for a hockey game up there and now suddenly I am meeting his family??? OK I can handle this, LOL...
So if you are game for going to a Blackhawks game this fall let me know... we'd do it on a weekend. He has something to do up there in September so i'll check the NHL schedules for that time period first.
So freaking hot here and of course just when I'd like to go somewhere and cool off I go back to Vegas next week... crap from the frying pan straight into the fire!! Sheesh, why couldn't he live in Montana?
BTW... I thought I had posted this but for those on MySpace if you go look at my Top whatever it is... you'll see C (the squirrel), daughter no 1, stepdaughter (the bride) and exH exW No 1!! LOL.. now how many people can say they have their ex's ex on their friends list, let alone on the top row... LOL!! Stay tuned, we may be working together quite soon!!
BTW... I thought I had posted this but for those on MySpace if you go look at my Top whatever it is... you'll see C (the squirrel), daughter no 1, stepdaughter (the bride) and exH exW No 1!! LOL.. now how many people can say they have their ex's ex on their friends list, let alone on the top row... LOL!! Stay tuned, we may be working together quite soon!! Lisa, I think they broke the mould when they made you. Your life is starting to sound soap like. But in a good way IYKWIM
Yeah no kidding, broke the mold and the mould!!
Well if things could not get any wierder... everyone on the count of three join me in singing....
all my exes live in Texas and are on MySpace... Yup... now we have exH and Wanker!! But Wanker has deleted me as a friend (tissue please)... I wonder if it had anything to do with any of the bulletins where he was mentioned, but that would mean he knows what a wanker is... oops!! Well the cat's out of the bag now, he's been on there since July 1 with an updated profile and get this according to the profile he doesn't smoke or drink!! Hmmm... care to take bets on that? Cause it also mentions he doesn't want kids... funny so does exHs profile. Guess they forgot they were sperm donors at some point in their lives.
Oh too funny... just too funny!! Peyton Place revisited!!
I'm having a drink... anyone care to join?
Lisa,
Your life is like a soap opera! Round and round they go where they'll stop we don't know.
I'll take a mimosa as it is early still.
Well Blondie did a little research... she has her unfinished issues with wanker and was going to send him off an email. I did sit her down and told her to go ahead and write it but to have no expectations if she chose to send it but that I would stand behind her in her decision. What do you say to her? I can understand her reason but she then flipflops about in her logic, totally understandable. He let her down and never said goodbye. Never a word... not even when she ran into him. The man has no McNuggets. So C decided to play comment war with her on MySpace in an attempt to perhaps build a bond between them and take off the focus off wanker. I've been in stitches watching the two of them battle out the comments on one another. Me, just the innocent bystander and watching my daughter get some much needed TLC from a "good" man role model.
She found that wanker hadn't deleted himself of my friend's list but that somehow he had actually opened up a NEW account when he was unable to access the old one. I've since gone ahead and deleted him.
Here's the funny thing... his one friend on there besides some chick with a webcam porn site (HA HA HA)... gave him a rash of you know what calling him on the no smoking and no drinking.. something to the effect he did both ALOT!! Oh and his profile title... let's just say the man still has his morbid death obsession..
Of course Dave's interestes are: Darts, Hunting, Fishing, Playing Guitar and Women (Exsqueeze me, isn't he engaged?) and he still claims he is single. I wonder if Road Kill knows of his special interests and that apparently according to his MySpace he's not in a relationship... oh the temptation to turn into a little birdie... not to worry... I won't but damn that temptation
Anyway... life still good... Off to Vegas in a week and sooo looking forward to it. We've decided that I will travel out there in the beginning of the month for a couple of days and then he will come and stay for a week in the middle of the month since he can leave his business for longer than I.
Went up to Austin Ave last night to get out of the house. Of course I got the 3rd degree by everyone who met him the last time I was there and they did finally get me to fess up that yes he was a Chippendale dancer, albeit semi-retired (now I get the dances, just kidding!!)... claimed it was hard to lie about a body like that. Oh yes... that body will be mine in a week thank you!!
But assured everyone that I was happy and the GF who left her H a month or so back even mentioned that she noticed how "attached" C seemed to appear to me. Gave me the warm and fuzzies... but I already know how much I mean to him... yet it's all still so surreal.
Hugs and kisses to everyone... hope you have a wonderful weekend!! Oh tomorrow would have been my 17th wedding anniversary... round of drinks on the exH!! Today is his daughter no 1's 23rd bday and she got married two days ago... sad that we weren't able to make it but meeting up with exW this week to see pictures from the big event and to talk about the possibility of us working together... yeah get the smelling salts out!!
I think I should start the Dallas Sequel!! Who needs JR? I got all the wankers I need, surrounded by them!!
Lisa, I always like coming to catch up on your thread. It makles me smile. I can tell in your writing the happiness in your life.
Have a great weekend and enjoy Vegas. LOL
TD
Greetings everyone... back from my visit to Vegas. We had a fantastic time. Went hiking up in the local mountains and even took a trip out to Death Valley. Had a terribly romantic dinner at a winery outside of Vegas. I don't think I've ever been so quite romanced before... sigh. Life is still good.
It took a couple of days to work past my funk of as I am calling it separation anxiety from C. I think many of us can relate to this when we first get back into the dating world. We're alone for so long and we get used to it and then we have that human companionship, intimacy (not necessarily physical intimacy) and then its gone and poof you have a withdrawl. IT SUCKS. Hate that part. A GF told me it's my insecurity... that I am afraid that it might be the last time fears in me. Took me a bit to understand that but she is right. I am not quite sure how to move past that fear yet. He even left me the most loving VM while I was at the airport that moved me to tears... so I don't know why I feel that way.
While I was visiting, C was using my laptop and came across DB. He asked what DB was. It took me a bit to compose myself because all of a sudden I felt very vulnerable. I told him the truth and it felt a bit akward to share that with him but I trusted him. He was actually quite touched and then he understood the friends and the bonds that I've made here. So just in case Mr C is reading this LOVE YOU HONEY!!!
Blondie starts school back on Monday. Summer is over, life gets back to normal, FINALLY. C will be here visiting in a couple of weeks and we're going to have dinner with the friends and I'm actually looking forward to it. We're not going to the bday party of a friend because Wanker and Road Kill will be there and we both agreed that yes it's time to let it all be but who wants to waste our precious time together with THEM when we could be doing other things.
Mish has 8 to 10 weeks left before they induce. She's still on bed rest mostly. Hopefully she'll feel good enough for lunch this week.
Glad your life is going great Sassy. I guess all the doubts and insecurities are totally normal. Hey it can't be all good
And yes, you are right stay away from Roadkill and Wanker ~ life is way too short!
Lisa,
Man, you are an inspiration to us all that are still in the crap. We can see that there can be a new book in our lives and that it will be a best seller.
Keep up the great life.
TD
Hi Sassy,
I sent you an email.
Glad things are going so well with Mr. C I think you are right about the separation anxiety. I'm not looking forward to all that "dating world stuff. I'm pretty happy just hanging out with my friends at the moment. Maybe I'll feel differently once the D is final.
Just in case Mr. C is reading......WE LOVE LISA! She has helped so many of us here in DBLand. You are very lucky. Take good care of our Sassy and she will take care of you.
Have a good week.
Spit
My time flies when you are getting a life. 3 weeks on my own thread, LOL.
Life is great. Still happy as a clam. We just had our 3mos mark... uh oh... and he was here a week ago... left many items behind and I cleaned out one bathroom closet for his stuff and a shelving unit in the master closet. Big UH OH there... it's kinda nice having a man's things around the house.
Well we went out to dinner with all the old gang while he was here. They all adored him, hell how could you not. The man is funny, charming, honest, personable and he loves me. They had better like him and as if I would care anyway ;-)
Did learn that Rick, the guy who caused a great deal of rift between Dave and I, the bunny dream guy, well he had a mental breakdown a month or so ago and left town to reunite with his 1st exwife. They have been divorced over 20yrs. UH HUH.. reunited, but note it took a mental breakdown in his case to go back to her ;-)
C is coming back out in two weeks. We actually sat down and planned out the next couple of months for us for things, travel etc. Kinda strange doing that but also it feel very secure for us both.
Had a moment of doubt last night and we talked it through. Sometimes I admit that the insecurity demons in me do come out. It's all too good, too perfect. Can it all be for real? So I decided to invest in a journal and started writing out my thoughts and feelings. Should have done that a long time ago.
Hugs and smooches to everyone. Have a great week!!
Lisa,
I am glad everything is going so well in your life. I hope to follow in your footsteps, only with a woman. LOL
Have a great wee, TD.
The Laugh of the Day -
Cooking dinner tonight, my 79yr old mom on my computer to play her favorite computer game, Word Whomp. Anywho... I'm putting the finished touches on dinner, drinking a glass of Merlot and I hear coming from the computer room "Is SKANK a Word?" Needless to say I choked from laughing, spewed my wine all over the damn counter... Blondie and I are standing in the kitchen in hysterical laughter... meanwhile Jerry our new family addition (Mr Hamster) is rolling around the kitchen in his portawheel... he's in training for the hamster race next Saturday. Go Jerry!!
Oh my... never a dull moment here!!
Sassy,
Your mom and mine could be twins!!! Does your mom know how to use her cell phone??? I spent 2 hrs trying to explain the "big girl phone" to her and she still doesn't get it!!! So frustrating. Now they're getting ready to leave because of the hurricane in FL. I told her "make sure you take your big girl phone" so we can find you. GEEZE!!!!
When I get down there on Thurs, I'm gonna try one more time and if they still don't get it, I'm gonna string a couple of tin cans together!!!!
I'm glad to hear that your love life is doing fabulously. That's the kind of stuff we all need to hear!!!!
C has been here and gone and is coming back again next week. This time staying for a full week. I am looking forward to it but at the same time, those insecurity demons are getting the best of me. I am struggling big time. We talked about it the other night and while he does his best to reassure me I can't move forward and find myself sabotoging all this. I'm journaling a lot lately just to express my feelings.
I stumbled a bit this am after hearing about Steve Irwin's death... the urge to pick up the phone and text Wanker was so strong. We spent many a nights cuddling in bed watching the Crock Hunter and Danger Danger was Wanker's favorite phrase. Not to worry... I didn't make the call.
BigAl made an interesting comment yesterday about having new people in our lives. I think he's right... maybe we do move forward, but we still have the connections, the memories of the past. Funny because even though I was with exH for 15yrs none of memories are as strong as they are with Wanker. I may never understand that.
Had a very sweet moment yesterday. Sunday's have become mother daughter day. We were at the mall yesterday and I was buying Blondie a top and the girl behind the counter commented how sweet of us having a M/D day and Blondie said we did it every Sunday. The girl behind the counter got tearey eyed and said how she wished her mom would do that but she was always too busy. I almost felt like inviting her to spend the day. How sad... and when we walked outside Blondie and I hugged... I guess we never realized just how lucky we really are to have each other.
Hope everyone is having a lovely day!! It's raining here in Texas. Finally.
Hi Sassy,
I am looking forward to it but at the same time, those insecurity demons are getting the best of me. I am struggling big time.
So sorry you are having trouble with this. I think it's part of the process, honey. The fact that you recognize it is a big step in the right direction. Try and remain upfront and honest with C. As long as you tell him what is going on with you, you have a better shot.
This is like an illness, after all. It takes a long time to heal. Even when we think we have it licked, it rears its ugly head.
You're very lucky to have a daughter! I'm holding out for grandaughters.
Hugs,
Spitfire
Yes I am very thankful that I have someone like C. When I find myself taking a step or two backwards he steps up to the plate. I do think in a strange way that this is healthy. Instead of creating a fantasy relationship out of what it could be or might be, instead taking a step or two backwards gives me clarity, a reality check.
I love and appreciate this man for who he is. He is quite incredible. His timing coming into my life could not have been any better. We joked not too long ago that had we met each other a year ago during our breakups, we would not be here today, together. Having both gone through similar sitchs, I think we have a deep appreciation, tolerance and understanding of where we are coming from.
As I told him before my previous history was to walk away or push away and not work things through. But he makes it easy for me to talk with him and share my thoughts and feelings... and vice versa. But somethings are best left to me to work through, alone.
Well since Yasmin says watch out for the Lunar Eclipse... I am taking the past few days blahs and blaming it on the eclipse!! Anyone else care to join me on this?
A couple of fun things to report... wanker and I drove by each other yesterday... our eyes locked on each other the entire time. Sheesh, it's been April since I last saw him. Strange seeing him. But I knew it was coming for some reason... all week long after Irwin passed, I'd been feeling that somehow there was going to be some sort of contact. I don't know if I mentioned when I first came on about wanker's Labor Day issues... one of his good friends got murdered years ago on Labor Day and every Labor Day wanker would "lose it" and I think that was why there was a temptation to reach out to him after Irwin got killed. Irwin was huge in Wanker's life and he never handles stuff like this well... death is what threw him over the edge before we broke up. But I'm no longer there to catch his fall... so seeing him in the middle of the day signled that he wasn't working either... oh well... yeah triggers, eh?
Talked with exH tonight... I have one of his old friends coming to stay with me tomorrow night as he drives across country. I'm looking forward to catching up and chat about old times... haven't seen him in over 15yrs... he was a bad ass hot stud of a rocker in the 80s. But was in a plane crash back in 91 and broke his back and has been in a wheelchair since... so sad but he's really done wonderful things with his life and helping others. Anyway he doesn't really care to see exH, LOL. But had to call exH to... oh let's just rub it in a bit... and so we chatted about it and the exH is still SOOOO out there... he doesn't remember me telling him his No 1 daughter was getting married. He played stupid. Claims he's not on MySpace because it's not allowed in the house, GF and he agreed to not get MS accounts... LOL, I called him on it and said well exW No 1 is on there and she's on your friend's list but yeah you're right, you haven't been on since late July, LOL!! Silence. I said oh don't worry, I won't say a word to GF. But kudos to GF for at least trying to tame the beast.
All is still lovely in my camp. C still continues to amaze me. I've decided to take the plunge and just let go completely and let whatever happens, happen. He is consistent with his actions towards me to prove he's here for the long haul. Even today, he was priceless when I told him about friend coming and spending the night. I asked him if he was okay with that and if not I would make other arrangements. He said honey if exH or wanker showed up at your door begging, I have enough confidence in myself and your love for me that you wouldn't think twice about getting involved with either of them. Cough, cough, I almost proposed at that very moment!! Did I just say that? Yeah, I guess I did.
Anyway, looking forward to having him here for a full week this time. Looking forward to grocery shopping, cooking, cuddling and watching tv and all the GOOD stuff and yeah, having a nice smelling man around the house.
Well my friend from the past ended up staying the weekend with me. We had a great time catching up and just hanging out.
Although life certainly had thrown this beautiful a curve, he handles himself with such great grace and compassion. We talked for hours staying up to 3am EGAWDS.
The only time we had a glitch with the wheelchair was when we ventured downtown and found out that they didn't have the flat curbs... oh it was priceless and I tried to pull him up and then only fell on top of him. So much for that weightlifting I took up!! We had a good laugh and then somehow we worked it out.
He left behind his video of his journey and he actually won an Academy Award for it. It was touching to watch. I really did learn a great deal this weekend about myself. Me being the motherly type and he being afraid to ask for help. I told him when he arrived that I was concerned about overstepping boundaries and to let me know when he needed my assistance. Several times I bit my lip wanting to "take care" of him but we ended up working it through and at the end of his stay he told me how he he struggled to ever ask people for assistance.
He's back off to LA to finish his Masters after touring the US and speaking with the troops who have returned back from the war with disabilities... I feel so blessed to have had this man touch my life.
Oh and when we went Friday night I met a bunch of his friends from here and came home with 3 new Girlfriends to hang out with!! I'm very excited about this... non-dart folks and they like to go out...
I know I have said this a few times but it is so nice to come here and read how great things are going for you. Sounds like this friend is a real champion.
Love,
Lisa C
Sassy, I agree, I love to come read your thread. You and C are inspirational. My C and I have started getting closer and we are working on taking it slow. She can't believe how brutally honest I am about everything and I expect the same in return. She says it is so refreshing to have someone listen and not judge her.
TD
Hey lisa
I see you are still doing wonderfully well and am looking forward to chatting with you again soon
hugs to you
ruth
I guess it's been awhile since I've been online. So much going on in my life these days... every day is a little better. The first week after the accident was rough but now I am having dreams, surprisingly not nightmares but really strange dreams of finally being at peace. Can't really explain, here ;-) But it's all good... just different.
On a funny note. Remember those books I traded in a few months back? Well I went up there and ended up buying 3 of them back. I needed them to get through all this. Return to Love, Path to Love and Soul Stories. LOL... and since I had my initials in them, YUPPERs, my books. Too effen funny.
I'm going home in a couple of weeks. It's time. I got an offer from a friend to stay for free to just go home and chill out. Haven't been back to LA in 6yrs. How strange it will be... so much has changed I know from just our conversations. But I look forward to reconnecting with my city and some old friends.
Mish hasn't had the baby yet... due any time now. Took her grocery shopping on Friday. Ended up making friends with the Fire Dept who was shopping too, LOL... you know me and Fire Men... anyway, they invited us to lunch but we declined. Mish is thinking that we should bring lunch next week to brighten up their day. Maybe.
On a really sweet note. One of my dearest friend's daughter was diagnosed several years ago with JM. It's a form of MD. Anywho, they just asked me to take over the Editor/Design position for their newsletter. A volunteer position but one that makes me feel now like I have a real purpose and my little way of helping.
Life is good. I feel a bit like Meredith on GA these days... a flip of a coin... which fork in the road will I take? Home is always where the heart is you know. You can take the girl out of Cali but can you take the Cali out of the girl?
Hugs and kisses to everyone. Thanks for your love, support and friendship the past couple of weeks offline. Ya'll are the best.
Interesting weekend to say the least. Friday exH needed some artwork done so he came by the shop... first words out of his mouth... I'm hungry, let's go for lunch. So we went to lunch and he hands me his credit card and I swear I thought someone was going to have to get the smelling salts. This was the man who in the day made 2x what I did but felt it only necessary to match my paycheck into the joint account. LOL!! I let him look at MySpace while he was visiting (since he cannot use it at the house)... he failed to even acknowledge both his daughter No 1 and exW on my top list... but instead goes who's the blonde??? Don't you just want to smack them sometimes??? STILL????????
Friday night went to the TX/OU party in downtown with my new GFs and if you can just imagine me x4... oh yeah, when they wrote the definition of trouble in the dictionary... it was us. For starters we were backstage with the band and it happened to be on the OU side. Trouble!! Had a great time and realized I had not techincally had a real night out with just the girls cutting loose in I don't know how many years.
I leave on Sat for LA. It's almost kismet that all these things have been put in motion causing my return home. The irony of it all, it was a Texan who took me away from my home and now it is a Texan (an old friend of exHs) who is bringing me home.
On the C note, there is confusion and complications which I am not yet ready to elaborate on, quite yet.
Hope everyone has a great week.
Hey Strong....missed a lot of you threads....you've been on here for about as long as me. How are you doing and what's up with your life?
Back home from LA... first off LA is no longer home. It's just another big city to visit. So much has changed, I barely recognized the place. But it was good to go back and relive the days. Chris was the perfect host and we went to all the spots and took in as much as we could.
Before I left, I ended things with C. Sorry for those that were cheering us on... but in hindsight even reading here I wasn't there with him. I was more or less forcing myself to feel something that I just could not. To explain it best... as I have to my friends. I want the passion that I had experienced with Dave, the good and the bad. I just didn't feel it with C. Okay, not that I wanted him to be Dave but at the very least I wanted my heart to skip a beat or two or feel something. Other things came into play as I got to know him more and he just wasn't someone I could see myself spending the rest of my life with so why waste each other's time any further... there's been a bit of drama since I ended it and I've actually had to completely cut ties with him. Not my style but when the man threatens to find me in LA... well...
Onto the news of the day... got a call yesterday inquiring if I had been in contact with Dave and his folks. Apparently Dave has fallen yet again, but this time in a big way. Taking off and disappearing. His parents after 40yrs are divorcing. I was in tears yesterday. I knew the stress they were under from all of this past year... that was why I had felt it best to end contact with them earlier this year. His dad had the heartattack last year in the midst of it all and when we talked I knew that there was great stress and division between the two of them over Dave. But no, while my heart wants to reach out to them all I cannot. There is nothing I can do or say today to help any of them. But I can feel the pain and hurt for them and so I allowed myself to feel it as an observer and nothing more. So sad...
Anyway, not to worry... I am doing quite well. I honestly feel as though I am finally finding my way. I found the strength to end something I knew wasn't right and that's more than I have ever done when it came to Rs in the past. So I truly have grown.
If you want to see pics of this weekend:
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v694/beautycafe/In the picture are some shots of a house with stairs. It's very moving for me as Chris has been in a wheelchair and braces since his plane accident in 91. He has to climb 40 sets of stairs to his house...
Hugs and kisses to everyone!! Have a great weekend.
Lisa,
Sorry about C, but good for you for recognizing that it wasn't what you wanted and ending it!!! I had to do the same thing a few months ago with someone I'd been dating for several months. He wasn't nasty about it at the time, but now he won't even speak to me.
WOW!!! Chris is a great looking guy and it looks like you two did lots of fun stuff!!! Glad you're back!!!!
Jill
Lisa, Glad you had a great time in LA. Understanding how much you have grown is a great thing. I see it in myself and I am amazed at the changes. I am trying to get some new pics scanned to put on MySpace. Some of me, some of C and me, and some old ones of the past TD. I am glad you are doing well.
Keep your view possitive and your world will be.
TD
Hi Lisa,
Sorry to hear about Dave and all his drama. You are right to stay detached, even though you do care about these people.
I loved the dog video! Thanks for cheering me up with it.
You were right to end it with C. I understand what you mean about the passion. You deserve it. Keep looking.
Hugs,
Spitfire
Thanks ya'll for your love, friendship and support as usual!! Where would I be without you guys?? Probably drowning in a bottle of Jack with dear old Wanker ;-)
Life is good... I'm learning that while we may lose the drama of the WAS, drama does seem to follow us through our everyday lives (or at the very least mine!!) but it's all in how we handle situations how far we let the drama go.
Recently a man that has been trying to get me to pick up his product line put serious and I mean serious moves on me. Sight unseen this man has proposed marriage, uh huh and he's quite serious, he's looking for a wife and just so happens I happen to fit the bill of what he's looking for, I'm a woman (and yes he has his US cizenship!!)... Yeah, ya'll can get up off the floor now!! LOL! While trying my best to maintain a business relationship I've firmly tried to explain that I'm off the dating market for the time being but thank you for your interest and offer. So, that approach did not work. Now I have Kim answering the phone at the shop when he calls... never a dull moment in my life, I swear. How do I get myself into these freaking messes to begin with? Yeah, I'm too nice, easily misread (I think this will take a BigAl lecture!!)... so maybe it's time for a Lisa makeover to become a cold hearted beyotch!!! Whatcha guys think?? Is it possible? Or maybe I'll just become the resident DB Wild Child and go and have a MLC... who knows... after last weekend that might not be too shabby of an idea... table top dancing with the gals, yuppers. Life is definitely too short to be miserable to quote my dear friend Chris. I think he has that right!!
Hugs and kisses...
Lisa,
If we were to put some of our stories together and write a book, I'm pretty sure we'd have a best seller!!!!
WOW it's been awhile since I've been on here.
Mish had the baby on October 31. He's probably the most beautiful baby boy I have EVER EVER seen.
Been hanging out with the girls as usual... the weekend before last we were out and this weird feeling over took me, and I turned to one of my friends and said McDreamy is going to be here... of course then I had to explain about who McDreamy was and by the time I finished my short story, I looked up and there he was standing in front of me. I just about fell over and especially after talking with him and finding out that he hadn't been out in months as he had a nasty concussion playing hockey... wow... anyway, we chatted all night. Damn he's still so freaking hot and still very much McDreamy... What's wrong with me???? He invited me to a Stars game and wants to come see me play darts. We'll see.
Oh, and I signed back up for Match. Decided to go outside the box... I have my GF Kimmie picking out the guys for me. So far... disaster... went out to have coffee with a millionaire and I swear I was on a job interview with him an his TREO... I was waiting for him to ask for my tax returns. He was ready to move my shop, help me find a new house... BLAH BLAH...
But on a funny note... I got an email from a guy on Match in NC... he was as frustrated as me on there and saw my profile when doing a search for far far away. Go figure... he's from NY and moved there... anyway, we have a joke between us... that if neither of us find our Mr/Mrs Right by June 2008, we'll get married on June 28th... I definitely need to be writing that book. Everyone is laughing at me... I seem to find the guys geographically undesirable as desirable...
The best time lately, WCB was in town briefly and we hung out Sunday afternoon into the evening... so great seeing her and just hanging. Good for the soul!! Miss her already!!!