Not always rainbows - 07/03/21 06:57 PM
Hi guys , I tried posting earlier and got error message . Going to try again . So it’s about a year since I posted . 2 years since BD. We started piecing NOV 2019. I never figured out which category my H fell into . MLC WAS WH. He had many qualities of all . My husband got a crash course quickly on his wife’s chosen profession . I am a nurse so for the last 16 months I was a ghost to my family . I appeared for short periods but mainly I had to focus on what was going on outside the home . The hardest part I would say was dropping the rope the other way . Trusting we weren’t going to crash and burn . Many days I came home with some serious PTSD . I can talk about it now but for awhile there it was bad . My husband held down the home front and worked from home . The house looks like it had its own war for a year but they all survived . Nothing some paint and cleaning won’t mend . Where divorce busting came into the last year was you have to be ready to piece . Both of you . It’s not rainbows . It’s work and hard work . You can’t have one person who wants it sometimes it just doesn’t work . You always are not going to get everything you ever dreamed of every day . That is not life . Relationships change . The things two years ago that I couldn’t stand about my husband are things I adore now . He always had this carefree attitude. Just would get up and go . Well this year I got up and went every chance I could catch my breath. I would say our COVID numbers are low . I’m taking the kids away for a few days while I can breathe and he said just go . He latched on once and awhile and joined but mainly just said go I’ll be here when you get back . Never questioned it and never looked at the bank account . Super thankful for that one! He grew some as well he told me few weeks ago he gained strength from watching me come home wrecked beyond belief . I would pour a glass of wine . Go to bed and get up and do it again . But it made me grow . He likes his friends and that’s ok . Maybe he over does it but if my bank account from runaway vacations with the kids ever spoke I don’t think I would win that battle . He’s also a physical touch person , I’m working on not being so cold . I know I’m a bit blunt sometimes but he needs some softness too . I’m a time person so when I feel distance I just steel him for a few days . I’m the planner and it’s ok . I’ve just come to terms with it . If I want to get some quality time in I just tell him when . He usually always just rolls with . So I guess 2 years later we have found a happy place and some balance .