Posted By: Caligirl Not always rainbows - 07/03/21 06:57 PM
Hi guys , I tried posting earlier and got error message . Going to try again . So itís about a year since I posted . 2 years since BD. We started piecing NOV 2019. I never figured out which category my H fell into . MLC WAS WH. He had many qualities of all . My husband got a crash course quickly on his wifeís chosen profession . I am a nurse so for the last 16 months I was a ghost to my family . I appeared for short periods but mainly I had to focus on what was going on outside the home . The hardest part I would say was dropping the rope the other way . Trusting we werenít going to crash and burn . Many days I came home with some serious PTSD . I can talk about it now but for awhile there it was bad . My husband held down the home front and worked from home . The house looks like it had its own war for a year but they all survived . Nothing some paint and cleaning wonít mend . Where divorce busting came into the last year was you have to be ready to piece . Both of you . Itís not rainbows . Itís work and hard work . You canít have one person who wants it sometimes it just doesnít work . You always are not going to get everything you ever dreamed of every day . That is not life . Relationships change . The things two years ago that I couldnít stand about my husband are things I adore now . He always had this carefree attitude. Just would get up and go . Well this year I got up and went every chance I could catch my breath. I would say our COVID numbers are low . Iím taking the kids away for a few days while I can breathe and he said just go . He latched on once and awhile and joined but mainly just said go Iíll be here when you get back . Never questioned it and never looked at the bank account . Super thankful for that one! He grew some as well he told me few weeks ago he gained strength from watching me come home wrecked beyond belief . I would pour a glass of wine . Go to bed and get up and do it again . But it made me grow . He likes his friends and thatís ok . Maybe he over does it but if my bank account from runaway vacations with the kids ever spoke I donít think I would win that battle . Heís also a physical touch person , Iím working on not being so cold . I know Iím a bit blunt sometimes but he needs some softness too . Iím a time person so when I feel distance I just steel him for a few days . Iím the planner and itís ok . Iíve just come to terms with it . If I want to get some quality time in I just tell him when . He usually always just rolls with . So I guess 2 years later we have found a happy place and some balance .
Posted By: SteveLW Re: Not always rainbows - 07/03/21 09:06 PM
Good and interesting post. I related to a lot of it. Interesting how you say you can be blunt and are working on PT. My wife struggles in both of those areas.. I'm thick-skinned so it just rolls off of my back.

Piecing is a lot of hard work.
Posted By: may22 Re: Not always rainbows - 07/08/21 04:44 AM
Hi CG,

It is so good to hear from you. Thank you for updating! And thank you for your work on the front lines of this past year. I know it must have been awful. I'm glad you're getting some time to relax with the kids and hope things are generally calming down in the day to day as well.

I went back and read through some of your earlier threads. Did you ever get any resolution about what happened with him and why he walked? What have you guys been doing in terms of piecing and dealing with the past vs. just surviving the day to day together through the pandemic and your job?

xx M
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