Saffie's Sandbox.....no 10? - 03/06/09 07:34 AM
HI there all,
Well at Sara's instigation I am reopening my sandbox for fun and frolics and for anyone who wants to catch me and ask me questions....or who just wants to pop in and say hi ....or just play.
For those of you who don't know me so well let me recap slightly.
My H and I went through some pretty bad wilderness years when we didn't seem to like each other. It built up gradually but the rocky slide started when we had children. H talked me into being a mother, ( I was a very happy career girl with a better career than his at the time). I had never had children in my plan but when I held my first D everything changed. I knew then I wanted four!!! So, I became a SAHM and my focus shifted on to the kids and my H meanwhile rocketed in his career. We lost touch with one another and cracks appeared.
I began to suffer badly from depression after my fourth child but didn't know why so I started shopping 'til I dropped, (as H is extremely well payed), and H in order to placate me went along with it and then even went so far as to buy me my horses when I wanted them. Nothing he did though made me happy.
One day I realised that I had my priorities wrong and what I wanted was my H....not 'things'....and a happy and fulfilling M. So I decided to get myself off my AD's and went and found a clinical pyschologist who helped make me get better through the use of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, (CBT).
Eventually, when I was ready, I wrote my H a letter outlining exactly how I felt, apologoising for my awful behaviour in the past, and outlining my hopes for the future. He didn't reply for three days, (which was awkward as we still slept in the same bed), and then on the fourth day he told me he had been having an A with one of his staff for the last 18 months. Well, all hell broke lose. I tried to commit suicide and was almost committed. We had a week of hell when we both threatened each other with all sorts and OW got a right earful from myself and my second D.
At the end of the week my H recommitted to the M and we haven't looked back since. Certainly there have been bad moments....mainly on my side....when my thought processes get the better of me. But gradually things have calmed down. My hatred of the OW brought me to the boards a year after our M had reconciled and in the end I had to allow myself the right NOT to forgive her in order to move on. She was particularly manipulative and underhand. My H had to pay her off to get her out of his Co.
Well, that's it in a nut shell.
The sandbox is now open. Play nicely....no throwing sand. Drinks available on request. Pretty much anything else goes, ( but Theo....keep SOME clothes on ok?)
Look forward to hearing from you all.
Well at Sara's instigation I am reopening my sandbox for fun and frolics and for anyone who wants to catch me and ask me questions....or who just wants to pop in and say hi ....or just play.
For those of you who don't know me so well let me recap slightly.
My H and I went through some pretty bad wilderness years when we didn't seem to like each other. It built up gradually but the rocky slide started when we had children. H talked me into being a mother, ( I was a very happy career girl with a better career than his at the time). I had never had children in my plan but when I held my first D everything changed. I knew then I wanted four!!! So, I became a SAHM and my focus shifted on to the kids and my H meanwhile rocketed in his career. We lost touch with one another and cracks appeared.
I began to suffer badly from depression after my fourth child but didn't know why so I started shopping 'til I dropped, (as H is extremely well payed), and H in order to placate me went along with it and then even went so far as to buy me my horses when I wanted them. Nothing he did though made me happy.
One day I realised that I had my priorities wrong and what I wanted was my H....not 'things'....and a happy and fulfilling M. So I decided to get myself off my AD's and went and found a clinical pyschologist who helped make me get better through the use of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, (CBT).
Eventually, when I was ready, I wrote my H a letter outlining exactly how I felt, apologoising for my awful behaviour in the past, and outlining my hopes for the future. He didn't reply for three days, (which was awkward as we still slept in the same bed), and then on the fourth day he told me he had been having an A with one of his staff for the last 18 months. Well, all hell broke lose. I tried to commit suicide and was almost committed. We had a week of hell when we both threatened each other with all sorts and OW got a right earful from myself and my second D.
At the end of the week my H recommitted to the M and we haven't looked back since. Certainly there have been bad moments....mainly on my side....when my thought processes get the better of me. But gradually things have calmed down. My hatred of the OW brought me to the boards a year after our M had reconciled and in the end I had to allow myself the right NOT to forgive her in order to move on. She was particularly manipulative and underhand. My H had to pay her off to get her out of his Co.
Well, that's it in a nut shell.
The sandbox is now open. Play nicely....no throwing sand. Drinks available on request. Pretty much anything else goes, ( but Theo....keep SOME clothes on ok?)
Look forward to hearing from you all.