Anyway, my big question right now is about trust. I love my H but I can't say I trust him... When we were dating, he cheated and ended up with a baby girl (my now stepdaughter). I'd pretty much gotten over that-- I mean, I was able to forgive even if I couldn't really forget. But in the process of this time when I'd been considering divorce, several issues have occurred which started me being suspicious again... and it hurts much more this time because, damn it! how could he possibly do this again?
There's no proof... and really, if he did, it was before we started working on our marriage... so a big part of me thinks I should just get over it... I don't have anything concrete pointing to it-- just a bunch of "clues"... and I have to admit that our marriage is better now than it has been for a while-- not best, but definitely better...
Despite that, I can't help wondering if I'm going to have to resign myself to sharing my husband with others... under the theory that if I don't know about it and he's treating me well, then it shouldn't matter...
This issue and the issue between him and my mom are causing me so much grief... and I can't see how to be solution oriented in these cases--
I'm trying to keep the good momentum up and not throw my hands in the air and turn away... but it is hard. And I guess some of it is a pride thing-- cause I've always said that if he cheated again, I'd be gone so quick... and now, here I am feeling pretty sure that he's had an EA if not a PA and I'm not acting on it... I'm feeling like a fool, that's what...
So I'm wondering how the rest of ya'll deal with the trust issue? I realize it's a different situation with me since it's normally the walk away that cheats... but I'm sure the emotions I'm feeling are the same as ya'lls...
nicky