I'VE FOUND IT !!!!!!!!!!! - DivorceBusting.com

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I found the key to detachment!!!!!!
It isn�t about detaching at all. It�s about shifting your focus. The book to read is: �Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting.� By lynn grabhorn.
I read most of the chapters and was trying to do the following and some pretty amazing things were happening. But it was really hard to do it all the time (look at what we�ve been dealing with

). In the last chapter she breaks it down and the key is having a flip-switch. See the following. I�ve been doing this for 5 days and every time I think about my life with H or anything that doesn't feel good, I think and feel my self-appreciation word (see explanation below). You know how when you smile, your endorphins kick in and you feel a little bit better. You have to find that place. So when you are flip-switching you also try to FEEL something from the positive vibration list. One I use that always kicks in is my dog wagging his tail at me trying to get me to let him in. It always makes me feel happy. But for most of us it�s hard to go there (that happy feeling)(let�s face it we are not happy about our spouses behavior) even when we want to, so hence, the �FLIP SWITCH� This is NOT positive thinking but positive feeling and it is not affirmations or meditation either.
Feel free to ask me questions about this. It will help you!!! Absolutely!!! But go out and RUN do not walk to get this book and read it cover to cover. It�s in the metaphysical section but you�ll probably have to get them to order it.

Thoughts that cause one to be on a Low Vibrational Frequency:

� Resentment
� Judgment
� Criticism
� Anger
� Doubt
� Frustration
� Mild concern
� Stress
� Worry
� I can�t
� I won�t
� Loneliness
� Guilt (you get the picture)

Thoughts that cause one to be on a High-Vibrational Frequency:

� Appreciation
� Gratitude
� Humor
� Enthusiasm
� Reverence
� Awe
� Generosity
� Love
� Delight
� Pleasure
� Exhilaration

How to find a �flip- switch� to switch from a low frequency to a high frequency:

Pick a different word or phrase of self- appreciation each day and whenever you are thinking/feeling on a low Vibrational realm, think your self -appreciation word or phrase for that day. This is the key to get yourself on a high Vibrational level, to pull the things that you want to you. This is the flip switch. Practice for 30 days with 30 different self �appreciational words/ phrases. Stick with the same one for the entire day. All of a sudden your always feeling good and lots of good stuff starts happening. I would tell you some of the amazing stuff that has happened to me but I�m sure that would give me away. Though just telling you this will surely give me away. But for you all who are so courageous and true it is worth it. I'm the one who stopped posting cause I was really down. Now things are starting to look up and I have had no conversations with H about anything.
kansha

FABULOUS!! Yeap, you've found it! Nice going. Detaching is indeed a challenge. I've added "your" book to my repretoire. I'll recommend this to others. Thanks, Kansha.
/Tia

Kansha-
I've ordered the book. It sounds great!!!

Kansha

I am happy for your discovery. At some point in time, whether it's a book we read, a converstaion with a friend, or whatever, a light goes off inside and we say, I've found it. The truth is, it's always been there, we have just not been able to see it. Each one of us become awakened in our own time frame.

The truth is we create our own reality. The only things we have control over, are our thoughts, feelings and choices we make. We need to be responsible for our choices. Our choices create our reality. What ever we think, is what we become. It all starts with thoughts. If your not happy with how things are, change your thinking.

You have listed a number of negative thoughts and a number of positive thoughts. Our thoughts lead to our feelings. If we don't like what we are feeling, change our thoughts.

Our mind is thinking millions of thoughts consciously and subconsciously, from dealing with the function of our body and it's systems, and the external environment it finds itself in.

Trying to focus our thoughts on positive things is critical to being happy and feeling good about ourselves. The choice is ours. How we talk to ourselves in our inner conversation with ourselves, leads directly to how we feel about ourselves.

God has given us everything we need to be happy, successful and have a fulfilling life.
We need to have the awareness that it all is within each of us. We just need to look there.

Paul

Hello my Friends: Detachment is the one thing (besides developing patience) that has been a big challenge for all of us(well most of us) here and happens to be most important to succeeding on our chosen paths. I consider myself to be a very optimistic, spiritual(I have complete faith in God) positive thinking person. But we all have our underlying fears, worries, doubts, stops, etc. This is NOT about positve THINKING but about positive FEELING. I know that God has given me a great gift in this journey that we are all sharing and it is an opportunity to grow and become closer to God. But believe me when my PMA started to fall, many times it would take a tumble and I would go for a walk. Think positively, Count my blessings etc. I still went down into that spiral of why is he doing this? Why can't he see all the pain he is causing me and the children? How can he destroy our family this way? Why? Why? WHY? I've been doing this exercise and when ever any doubt, fear, anger, sadness, anything that is considered a low vibrational level. I just FEEL my "self appreciation word" (Today it was "I'm silly") until I feel

eace or joy or anything on the positive vibrational level. I'm practically unflappable. This is only the beginning of creating life that you want effortlessly. I don't know how to express to you the extrodinary value of this book if you read it from cover to cover and practice it. Carey got it! Country Gal got it! Tia got it. Everyone here diserves to have what they want. Paul is right we do create our own reality. The author of this book says it like this: "All we have to do is learn to flow our energy differently, for nothing-NOTHING- affects our experience except how we flow our energy. NOTHING!"
The author of this book does not know me and she is not paying me anything to tell you to go out and buy her book. And for a lot of us it's stuf we already know. But this book is a road map over very bumpy road going 90 miles an hour and lovin' it. So many of us are working so hard to keep that PMA up and doing a good job. But truthfully it's not hard to keep the PFA(positve feeling attitude) up once you get the hang of it. Everyone on this sight is so inspiring and amazing already. This book is my gift to them. If I had the money I send one to every one. Kansha

Kansha,

I haven't posted on this forum before. I really am not piecing anything together right now - he is still out there in space land. But, I have been trying desperately to make positive changes within myself & make them consistent.

What you are describing sounds interesting. Can you give a few more examples of those 'self-appreciation words'? I am struggling w/ something right now, and am aware that I have to change my attitude (or something about me), as I can't change what he is doing right now. He is hurting me & I can really identify w/ what you were saying about why can't he see he is causing me all this pain...really hits home, that's exactly what I have been sitting here thinking. All while knowing that I have to do something different.

I am up past my bedtime because something upsetting happened. He might give me a call after I get off line, & I have to have a positive frame of mind in order to speak w/ him w/o doing more damage. I will try what you have suggested right now, and try to get some sleep which I badly need.

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'll let you know how it works.

Melanie

Melanie: Please feel free to E-mail me at: going4sainthood@hotmail.com (I know pretentious

)
I really recommend you go out and order this book. I will try to help you do the exercise but it is only the beginning and the author gives a lot of background cause it's really about switching your vibrational level. The self-appreciation word is to help you flip from negative to positive. Some of my words have been: "I'm loving", "I'm funny","I'm passionate". As soon as I notice I'm am thinking or feeling something like worry or resentment,concern or any low vibrational feeling I automatically say my word or phrase and then I try to feel my word or phrase. To do that you have to get in touch with something that just by thinking about it it puts you in feel good mode. I might think of my daughter's incredible smile or my dog like I said above. experiment. I'm here to support you. Good luck!!! My prayers are with you. Kansha

Kansha,

Very Good Stuff.

Why don't you write it up real clean in word processing. Then go to Advice from Wise DB'ers, perhaps title it"Sad 2 Happy in 60 Secs", whatever, and paste it into a new post.

It can help a lot of people.

Tom

Kansha

Another idea on what you are saying is, change how you talk to yourself.

Simply our "Self Talk"
During our thoughts, (thinking) we carry on a inner conversation with ourselves. Whether we choose to talk negative self talk or positive self talk will lead to how we feel.

A friend of mine told me years ago, when ever he started thinking negative thoughts, he would tell himself to, "turn the chanell"

We control what we think, therefore we can control how we feel.

Shifting our energy from negative to positive is done by our thinking. Thoughts are energy.
Everything is connected by energy, the whole Universe. We are all connected to each other, and everything in the universe. We all have one creator. We all are one.

Have you ever felt that someone on this board is thinking just like you at the same time, because they have posted exactly what you were thinking? How is that possible?
Ideas and thoughts flow through us through energy. Energy flows through each and everyone of us. Does it not flow through us at the same time?

What it takes is "conscious awareness" that this is so. As we evolve and become more consciously aware, we understand how everything is about energy, and how we are all connected.

You have raised your own level of "conscious awareness" by understanding what the author was saying in the book about vibrant feelings.

Through this site, and individuals like you, who share newfound sources of information, we are all evolving to a higher level at a much faster pace than we would have other wise.

I want to thank you for bringing to our awareness, this great book that can be of help to others.

I would love to chat with you sometime to hear about your life journey.

Paul

Thank you! To those of you who have checked out this topic. I know I've pratically harrassed everyone into checking it out

.
So a big THANK YOU!! I know if you read this book and do as it says you'll understand why I've been so insistent.

TomM: I will definately do that thanks for your wise input!

Paul: I would love to chat with you. Please feel free to e-mail me (check my reply above, to MJR for address)(That goes for anyone here) I haven't posted much of my story because I didn't want to be recognized. I would love for you to read this book and I would love to discuss it with you. I have been a student of Physics,Spirituality, Manifesting etc. Since about 1982. I've even done work sucessfully, in this field. A lot of stuff that she writes about in this book is not new. But she breaks it down into nuts and bolts so that those of us who are on this path of "conscious awareness" can fine tune our approach, as well as for those of us who are at different places on this road can begin to shift their energies. No matter where we are there is always more to go.

So perhaps we are really saying the same thing, I'm not sure I agree with you on which really comes first though: thinking or feeling? But I'm pretty sure now that it is FEELING that makes the difference in managing that energy. So telling someone to think positivly doesn't usually erase the underlying feeling hence PMA doesn't always rise.

Let's talk! Your friend, Kansha

Want to congradulate you on the breakthroughs you personally have had. As you now know, it is the 'energizing' of the right feelings/emotions that really causes the change ... makes it more permanent more quickly.

Would appreciate you doing the post to Advice from Wise DB'ers as soon as its convenient.

Lots of people will benefit from the treasure you found. Thanks from all of them ... and me too.

Kansha

In response to your question of which comes first thinking or feeling?
Have you ever tried to be completely still and get yourself in a frame of mind where you have stopped all thinking?

I'm not real knowledgable on meditation, but I believe it is about being still, relaxing, and focusing your thoughts.

Are feelings not created by our thoughts?
It's the old chicken and egg.

We have the power to feel what we choose to feel by controlling our thoughts.

Try having happy thoughts, focus on a beautiful sandy beach along the ocean, visualize yourself laying on that beach, listening to the waves hit the shore. As your visualizing and thinking about this beautiful beach, try and feel great sadness.

If you are truly focussed on visualizing andthinking about the beach, you are unable to feel something completely different from what your thoughts are focused on.

Thoughts are energy, and feelings are a higher level of energy, created by our thought patterns. We can choose to be happy or sad. Just flip the thinking switch.

The best thing to understand is that it is all within our control. God has given us everything we need to be happy, by giving us a brain. It's a matter of whether we choose to use it to it's fullest capacity, to enhance our lives.

Paul

Hi Kansha

I told you I would try your ideas, & let you know how it worked. Here it is:

Tues. night I had something upsetting happen, but Wed. am, I discovered he had been here in my home, w/o my knowledge, & taken some of his things. I felt violeted & let down & very upset. This was about 2 minutes before I had to leave for work.

As I was driving there, I shed quite a few tears. I remembered your post & thought I would give it a try. I knew I had to do something to get control of myself so I could do my job that day. I picked the phrase 'I am loving' - wasn't really sure what kinds of phrases you were referring to.

I tried it. I can't say that I felt wonderful, but it did get my mind off of what was bothering me at the moment & keeping me from concentrating on my work. Whenever the pain came rushing back at me that day, I did the same thing. I admit that I felt kind of silly walking around saying to myself 'I am loving, I am loving'. But, I was not about to break down in tears, and was able to do my job. And, I ended up reminding myself that I very much need to be able to support myself, & need to go to work every day & do a good day's work, so I will be able to keep my job. That I am there to do a job so I can get paid & pay my bills. That it is NOT the time for me to be focusing on my personal problems. I need to work, make new friends there & new contacts for future employment...& can't do any of that effectively if I'm walking around about to break into tears.

So, all in all, I think I shifted my focus off of the problems & onto something I CAN do something about. I did feel better & got my work done well. In my case, I believe that shifting my THINKING changed my FEELINGS. But, it does seem like the chicken / egg thing. Maybe it's different for each of us.

Anyways, thank you for the suggestions. Maybe I didn't do it exactly as I was supposed to, but it DID WORK! For that I am glad. I will try to get the book, but it will be a couple days before I have time to pursue that.

Thanks Kansha

Melanie

Hi Melanie and all: Just a quick note for now. The exercise I gave you is just the beginning to help you find the "flip-switch" from Negative to Positive. It is only the first step and you don't really need to "FEEL" to do that, just think. So I can see why, from what I've shared, that you feel that thoughts come first and truthfully it doesn't matter which does come first but what really does matter is shifting the feeling(further down the line Mel

) That's what helps to raise your vibrational level, which utimately helps the PMA to rise and stay there. . . But most important Melanie, for now, is I'm so glad that it helped you. That's why I put down this exercise to help people immediately. But as I have said It's only the first step. Take care all and Please read the book ( But I'm here to help until you get it) and let's talk about it. Or anything else for that matter, if I can help you use this exercise for your sanity I'd be happy too. Faith is number one but we all live in the material world and have to do our best. Love Kansha

Just bringing this up to the top. I think it might help some more people with the PMA.
Kansha