Good Morning Taz
How good to her from you!
Your divorce agreement does appear much like your counter proposal. By the sounds of it, you managed to retain that which was of value and importance to you - house, business, farm.
Yes, your XW is a vanisher. At first, it’s hard to fathom that one’s spouse could/would become who they now are. They are very lost souls. We do gain understanding, compassion, and let go; with much head shaking in bewilderment.
I'm not not sure how I feel about her anymore. Apathetic when it comes to me and confused when it comes her relationship with our sons. I hope for their sake she figures it out.
A perfectly normal and healthy state. Such is indifference. Muted and attenuated emotions.
And this, like all feelings, is merely temporary. I’ll share a bit.
I do recall feeling similar about my XW. Note: “About”. Felt about what she did, how treats me, how she treats the kids, how she is living her life, and so on. And I hoped, for the kids’ sake, she would figure it out.
That progressed to felt “towards” XW. Not about her, towards her. Less science experiment and more hurt lost soul. We do find understanding, compassion, empathy, and forgiveness. We do shift our view. That rolling back of indifference.
And I hope for
her sake she figures it out.
This shift happens for a variety of reasons. Some of the key ones are, I am captain of my ship, I control me. Also my kids are healed and doing fine. Many open conversation and addressing their concerns and questions. Getting through the teen years and to healthy adults.
And love the person, forgive the sin. That really shifts one’s focus from about what happened and towards themselves and their values. For the place of true peace and contentment lay in us.
Well done with S23. I’ve had to bite my tongue more than once regarding my kids and their choices too. Letting them sort things out is part of their path and growth.
Take care Taz.
D