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Posted By: Truegritter Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 10/29/16 03:57 AM
For those of us who knew Jack Three Beans aka Jeff, JTB, or just plain Jack you will agree he would hate a thread dedicated to some of the wisdom he shared on these pages.

BUT

To honor the true essence of the man and to attempt to provide a place to find some great words from a great man as you move on your path through this.... I thought I would start this thread and Job will sticky this to the top of our forum.

So please share your Jackisms and those famous 2x4s he was known for wielding.

I found this on my thread and I think it appropriate to kick off this thread:

Originally Posted By: Jack Three Beans
I know what you mean...when I'm dead standing in front of St. Peter I am sure as heck going to be worried about what strangers thought of me back when I was alive. smile

Come on Grace...F them. Go do for you and screw what MOST people may think.
Posted By: Cadet Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 10/29/16 05:03 AM
I give you the second post he made to me and my introduction to J3B

Originally Posted By: Jack3Beans
Blunt?

(aghast)

Heaven forbid! wink Thanks Cat.

If I thought Cadet had to worry about an OM, I would have been...subtle.

Cadet,

I have a question for you.

Can an old dog learn new tricks? : )


And it would take me sometimes days to figure out what the heck he was talking about.

Love ya J3B.
Posted By: job Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 10/29/16 05:12 AM
Here is a quote that one of our moderators, sgctxok, posted:

Jeff/Jack's first post was to help someone else. A great quote from that post,


"If you wife is worth fighting for, then your marriage is worth waiting for."--Jack Three Beans

It's a quote he lived.
_________________________
sg
Posted By: job Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 10/29/16 05:13 AM
From Bee29:

Jack, you touched so many lives... Every time I don't feel like talking to my husband I recall what you told me - that many LBSs would give a kidney to talk - and I talk to him.

Your messages will stay with us forever. All my thoughts are with your family.
_________________________
M: 41
H: 50
2S: 13 & 15
H moved out Feb 2016
Posted By: Esame Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 10/29/16 07:05 AM
Jack posted this for me back in August, when I was considering telling H about a comment S10 made at the time:

"Esame,

About children and the MLCer.

Its a hard thing to do, should he be aware of what your son said?

That's a tough question.

Advice I'd offer is that if you choose to make him aware, do it generally. I wouldn't specifically tell him word for word what your son said, but that your son seems to be concerned and maybe he or both of you could talk to him about it.

I tried my best to insulate my boys and kept things very general with them about what was going on, and with her regarding things they said about her when they did.

I believe guilt a is very big part of the MLCer and adding to it makes them sort of rabbit away from sources of guilt quickly
."


I can see now that if I told H about every negative comment the kids made I would a) be using to the kids and b) pushing H further away...
Posted By: Drew Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 10/29/16 08:03 AM
"Let your anger BE your armor. But use it as a shield, not a sword."
Posted By: tadpole1025 Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 10/31/16 12:49 AM
This really isn't any advice, but Jack posted this to me very early in my sitch and it is something that I've always remembered, but really couldn't even relate to until fairly recently:

I wouldn't trade who I have become for anything.

Thanks Jack.

Tad
Posted By: Truegritter Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 10/31/16 05:01 AM
Regarding children I remember Jacks's advice:

It is not your job to fix the relationship between your spouse and your children, it is your responsibility not to damage it.
Posted By: Truegritter Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 10/31/16 07:42 AM
More from JTB:

Originally Posted By: JTB
Actually... You are the reason you are hurting, your choice, your emotional commitment. Your choice to stay the course.

And you have to be strong.
Posted By: Truegritter Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 10/31/16 07:52 AM
Jack on using the pronoun "I" as in

I know
I want
I am working on ...
I have no control over ...
What I was trying to say was ...
I will...
I remain ...

In speaking to your spouse:

Originally Posted By: JTB
Lot's of I's there. Lots of them. I could retire if mining I's was profitable.
Posted By: Truegritter Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 10/31/16 08:05 AM
This is my favorite. So simple yet so profound and has play in my head ever since he first said it to me:

Originally Posted By: Jack Three Beans
When we start lying to ourselves we are fukced.

When we start believing those lies, we have failed.

It is that simple.
Posted By: Mach1 Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 10/31/16 08:19 AM
This is deeply personal for me...

It is the FIRST email that I had with Jeff. For those who don't know. I couldn't post because the interactive part of the boards were blocked for me at work. I could however read along.

These emails became my lifeline...

Words of wisdom ???

It kept me going, so it was all wisdom...



Couple of heavy hits to get out of the way.

A high number of MLCers have affairs. Not saying yours is, just something to bear in mind. Figure out what your breaking point is. I thought an affair was mine, turns out it wasn't. Being lied to over and over was.

There are no guarantees. Even if you did everything by the book, there are no guarantees.

I am a firm believer in DBing or DRing...whatever...you want to call it. But I am also a firm believer in standing up for yourself. And that is a huge balancing act at times. DBing is about becoming a better person...its a self help book. You help yourself you look more attractive.

Piecing...is harder than standing or waiting. If you think this succks, just wait.

This one is going to succk. 9 months seems like a long time, it isn't. Can you handle that? If you can make it from day to day, you can handle it. If you look down the road your going to want to give up.

Will you get your marriage back?

Ask yourself that question.


I always said yes.

Always, right up until I was done.

I always knew it would work out.

Stupidly, but that kept me going, just knowing that deep down, I was going to successful, I wasn't going to fail.

How about you?


Going to hit some points.

I am glad that you say your in the anger phase. Because it seemed that way in reading your email. Angry about her, and toward her.

Can she tell, in your interactions or non verbal communications with her?

Use your anger as your shield not your sword.

Use your anger to fuel your: "I don't care what you do." But not to fuel your coldness toward her in your limited contact. Your coldness shouldn't radiate outward.

Your changes she isn't going to believe in anytime soon. Don't give them up, otherwise she is right not to believe them. "Too little to late," means she dosen't think they will last, and is almost a challenge to you. "Too little?" Don't fu#$ing believe it. "Too late?" Prove her wrong. And "Too late" for who? Her? Screw her, the changes are for you anyway, right? They had better be.

Yeah, she pissed because it took you this long to do it, and willing to bet she thinks your just doing it to keep her around. Which...really you are at first. But I hope you come to realize that work is work, and family is EVERYTHING. Kids are only kids for a short time before they turn into teenagers.

Her blaming you is pissing you off, it is a button. Realize this, she is pushing your buttons because she knows how you are going to react. Change it; change how you react. Don't be defensive don't get uptight don't even correct her.

Your reference to a direct question...you mean a direct question about your realationship?

Stop asking those questions.

If you mean do you like mac and chesse...then...I don't know what to tell you.

Critical of everything she did...she blames you for everything...See a pattern?

Overtime, we reflect each other. Sooo...succk it up and start showing her what nice is. Take all her crap and be nice, and when she dishes out more crap be nice. Almost like piecing. Biting your tongue, learning to talk correctly.

Time is on your side, it really is.

A WAW would walk away, and move on, that's what I did. Done over gone. I was done when nothing changed all the talks led to more talks but no change all the chances blown.

She is in the same house, she has not walked away.

The hard part...f*ck man all of this is the hard part.

Stop reacting when she pushes your buttons. Don't use your anger in the wrong manner.

Believe you can do this. Show your wife a new way and allow for a long time before she changes...

Don't point anything out to her. Do not say I have changed.
Prove everything through actions, not words. Be consistent, she is looking for you to fail to justify her actions.

Any of that help?



I don't remember if I answered the last question or not....

More than you will ever know....
Posted By: Mach1 Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 10/31/16 08:45 AM
Originally Posted By: J3B
She was nice for...how many years?

You're ready to stop after a few months?

Puss.
Posted By: Mach1 Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 10/31/16 08:50 AM
One of my all time favorites....

Eric ???




And a glourious super salutation to you fine sir,

I would like to apologize most sincerely if I offended you with the suggesstion that you were being 'selfish' heaven forbid. It's not like you were selfish anytime in the past concerning your marriage, right? I mean that would be just down right wrong of you to do and very very very wrong of me to imply.

However, IF you were a naughty nelly in the past and were selfish, I guess I would say that turning a new leaf isn't exactly just waking one day and deciding not to be selfLESS. I suppose that would take time and committment and the desire to do better. And maybe even have others point out when you aren't really walking that selfLESS line, cause I don't know...you asked them for advice.

You seem like one of those spinning plates on a pole, you ever see them? They keep spinning and spinning and eventually wobble and crash. Well...not in a circus, golly! There the jugglers keep them spinning and spinning..anyway. It seems like you are wobbling...alot!

Make up your mind one day...change it the next. That must be hard on you. Wouldn't it be easier to stick with a course of action; don't you think?

The emotional affair, I just 'hate' those people don't you? Don't they know your wife is yours? Bottom feeders. Icky people.

I'm pretty sure that the lawery is going to say, "She is talking to another man on the phone in your house!!! We've got her now!! Please tell me you took pictures!" At least if life was fair that should happen, and then their feet get roasted in hell for it.

I also totally understand that if it came down to a chance to mend your marriage by making personal changes and being empathetic, or come out of a divorce with better posistion, I sure as surly know which one I would do, after all its all about who I respect right? It's what is in for me and my kids, my decisions should show what is important to me, what guides my dreams and hopes, shows me to be the man I want to see in the mirror. Right.

Again, sorry if you felt I was unkind is implying you were selfish.

Also sorry for being overly blunt before.

Later I'm going to try and shite out a rainbow somewhere else too.
Posted By: cat04 Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 10/31/16 10:24 AM
After spending the morning pouring through the first six months of six years worth of saved emails...

Most of which contains stuff that is either too personal or too confusing to someone who without all the information...

This is something that has stuck with me, as sort of a litmus test of how I want to be...

Originally Posted By: Jack3Beans
I like that you know this might hurt. I like that you live in the moment. You love correctly, without shields or barriers.
Posted By: Mach1 Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 10/31/16 11:46 AM
Originally Posted By: J3B
when I was going through this, my mantra was

Today is not the day that I quit

Maybe I will quit tomorrow, yet I will wait to see what tomorrow brings

Then repeat that tomorrow
Posted By: Mach1 Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 10/31/16 12:38 PM
Originally Posted By: J3B
You come here with a definition of success, and then you find out that the definition changes.

I am a success not because my wife is still married to me, but because I DBed, (and listen up boneheads : ) STILL DB to this day and always will no matter whom I am with)

Same with Bill.

Same with Mach...

That wisdom and insight is paid for in hard times and overcoming...empathy from having done it and seeing it in others.
Posted By: Mach1 Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 10/31/16 12:54 PM
J3B.....


Did I mention...no of course I didn't...that my W and I got into a fight / argument on New Years Eve/New Years?

Ayup...

I know I shouldn't have BUT...

She basically went all chick on me. Seriously. It takes two to tango and all that, but in this case unlike my marriage falling apart...I was actually innocent.

I wasn't so innocent in the argument, however.

How or why it started...not so important.

He said/she said.

The chicking out on me.

She wanted me to do something. I didn't. I gave in, and then she got upset. To the point where we weren't rockin in the New Year, instead we fought.

The reason I bring this up...isn't to point out how cool I am.

...which I am by the way. : )

The point is, that during the fight I actually noticed that I was slipping back into old Jack's way of fighting prior to DBing.

Imagine that.

And part of me, didn't want to DB. Because I was THAT pi55ed off.

But I did.

The fight turned into an argument, then talking, and ...well understanding. I was still too geared up to sleep so I went downstairs and killed some zombies.

The next day she had to work a bit and when she got home, things were still a bit tense. She asked if I was still upset I said yes.

I also asked her, if there was anything I did the other night that I should apologize for. She tought long and hard, and said, No, it was actually her fault. I then apologized for the way I reacted.

I then asked her after everything that happened if she had apologized to me.

She said if I would shutup she could. And did so.

When I say DBing is a lifestyle I mean it. I am better for it, and so is my marriage. Boundaries still exist for you, and your spouse.

The old Jack, never would have asked for an apology, he would have let that fester.



Chicking out.

Totally my term. So when it becomes popular I started it.

When a woman does the Venus thing.

Chicking Out (v) - orgin - North American Jack
When a woman vehemently professes one thing but means another.
My wife totally chicked out on me when she said that woman was attractive and asked me if I thought so too. I was too smart however and said no at first, however, she said it wasn't a trap, and wanted my honest answer. Now I'm sleeping on the couch.


For the ladies:

Manswering (v) - North America Jack
When a man isn't paying the proper attention to a women's story, he will manswer with prompts (ahuh, you got that right, that's too bad) to show her he is pretending to listen. Smart women use this to their advantage.
In the middle of manswering his beautiful wife's story, Dale discovered that he just argreed to go the the bridal and flower show with her next weekend instead of watching the game. Poor Dale.

Posted By: sgctxok Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 10/31/16 07:56 PM
Lmao
Posted By: Denver_2010 Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 11/01/16 09:41 PM
This actually comes from an email that he sent to me in August of 2011... when I was at probably the lowest point in my life...

"We all come far (hopefully), we are all better than when we first came here. But we all have far to go...there is no finish line. Not if this is for the rest of your life."

I didn't understand it fully then... I think that I do now.
Posted By: AndrewP Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 11/05/16 01:33 PM
I've been reluctant to post anything here. Jack was and is a beacon in the darkness to me. Even now I can't think of him without tearing up which would have p!ssed him off to no end I'm sure. Everyone else has posted moving stories and profound statements that he has made of which there were no shortage of on my own thread.

I only knew him from his writing and only for a short time. I think that this remembrance that I have of him would make him smile.

Originally Posted By: Jack_3_Beans
Homework:

Learn to cook ONE meal REALLY well.

Believe me you'll shock the [censored] out of her one day, or impress someone else. You already have most of this in your house. Or should.

1/4 cup all-purpose flour for coating
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves - pounded 1/4 inch thick VERY IMPORTANT
4 tablespoons butter
4 tablespoons olive oil
1 cup sliced mushrooms
1/2 cup Marsala wine (turns out the cooking marsala tastes the best)

In a shallow dish or bowl, mix together the flour, salt, pepper and oregano. Coat chicken pieces in flour mixture.

In a large skillet, melt butter in oil over medium heat. Place chicken in the pan, and lightly brown. Turn over chicken pieces, and add mushrooms. Pour in wine and sherry. Cover skillet; simmer chicken 10 minutes, turning once, until no longer pink and juices run clear.

Let me know how this turns out. This recipe has over 3,000 reviews and a rating of 4.5 stars. So its a damn good recipe and very very easy to make.
Originally Posted By: Jack_3_Beans
Oh crap... forgot to add to the ingredients:

1/4 cup cooking sherry.
Originally Posted By: Jack_3_Beans
BTW Chicken Marsala? Since no: Dear God in heaven thank you for that amazing recipe Jack...I'm thinking you haven't tried it yet. Sir...this recipe is proof that God wanted us to eat chicken. Just like Yoga pants are proof that God is a man. wink
Originally Posted By: AndrewP
All right already! I only tend to cook a couple of evening meals / week here and have been working through the freezer. I'll pick up some marsala and cooking sherry. The recipe is printed off and is with my cookbooks.
Posted By: Westo Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 11/06/16 11:12 AM
Thanks for this Andrew,

It's put a big smile on my face smile
Posted By: CaliGuy Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 11/10/16 09:39 AM
I have been thinking about this for some time ... and I recall J3B posting a few times on my wall and every time I was doing the Wayne's World "I'm not worthy" dance. This was over 2 years ago and I still recall some of his sage advice.

That said I had to go back and find the 4 things that stuck with me all this time, I went back to find them exactly and not paraphrase as I did not want to botch it up ... he was beyond wise and I think one could just read his posts and learn more than they would imagine.

Quote:
You talked the talk.

Now it's time to walk the walk

...and stop talking.


Quote:
As for your son if this goes to a divorce, and I really get the feeling that if you get a divorce its going to be because YOU ran out patience. You're going to find out that the LBS almost always has more control of the situation than anyone who first comes here realizes.

If this goes to a divorce, you aren't going to settle for just anyone in your next relationship. You might be surprised at just how well a family you can make AFTER a divorce.

Last God is a jerk. He seldom gives us what we want. But almost always what we need. : )


Quote:
On the note of damage done. She'll have the applicable excuse of being bat-[censored] MLC crazy. You'll have the excuse of being logical, knowing what you were doing and malicious.


Quote:
"Somethings are hard to know and some things are easy. Like I know that Mom and I will love you no matter what. What is hard to know is when the squirrels will come down and take your mother away...cause she's nuts. get it?"
Posted By: Mach1 Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 12/03/16 12:13 PM
I happened about this, and thought it perfect for the season...

He told me once, that what you do THIS Christmas, will pay dividends next Christmas....



Twas the week afore Christmas and all through my house;
My life was topsy turvy and chaotic, thanks to my MLC spouse.
The decorations were hung and the tree looked just right,
But the spirit was missing, not really joyful this night.
The kids, were rambunctious unmindful and driving me crazy,
Still they seemed fragile, a bit lacking and lazy.
Surrounded by family, but utterly alone,
My MLC spouse had much to atone.
“Why?” I railed silently, “Why me, what have I done?”
“It’s another holiday it supposed to be happy and fun!”
And then my frantic eye settled upon the small manger,
To where a child was born to life full of danger.
God’s only son would be born, teach, suffer and die,
The real meaning of Christmas, not this marketing lie.
The real meaning, is giving, wholly without pause.
Not Rudolf or Frosty or Santa Claus.
Not receiving, not being selfish nor greedy,
To my MLC spouse, I need not to be needy.
To my children and family I give them my best,
Not this emotional wreck who needs lots of rest.
My suffering is small, my spouse might be worth it,
But this Christmas is about others, and I deserve it.
My children will be happy for I take the lead,
Not my bat-chit crazy spouse, with ambiguous need.
I will not feel sorry for myself or wallow in pity.
It’s not fair to my kids, in fact, it’s kind of chitty.


--Make the holidays good, not for you but for others. It’s not about you.
Posted By: Westo Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 12/03/16 02:10 PM
Awesome!
Posted By: Esame Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 12/04/16 01:08 PM
That's so lovely...
Posted By: 25yearsmlc Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 03/23/17 11:51 AM
Originally Posted By: Mach1
Originally Posted By: J3B
when I was going through this, my mantra was

Today is not the day that I quit

Maybe I will quit tomorrow, yet I will wait to see what tomorrow brings

Then repeat that tomorrow


Though I knew Jack in real life and learned of his passing back then, this is the first time I've read through these.

This one ^^ was a biggie for me.

But at this moment I find myself in tears for this dear man who had so many curve balls thrown at him in life.

The many lives he touched...if you can, reach out to his mom on FB.

She's hurting. I'm sure his wife/sons are too, but his mom is reaching.

Ouch...this $ucck$ a lot. There are SO MANY quotes of yours in my life!

Jeff (jack) you are missed a lot. You left a mark. I know you are flying now.

grin Okay I will not be sad for you now, I promise.
Posted By: roist Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 03/23/17 01:41 PM
I love the way this community loves it's fellow members. I am glad some of you got to meet Jack/Jeff. I only have the words he shared here with others to go by, but that is easily enough to feel saddened by his death.

I am sure his real family miss him (understatement) as do many of his virtual friends.

Jack took time to help a lot of people here in sharing his insights, opinions and 2x4's. I know there are many others too but he has a legacy that I wanted to acknowledge.

Best wishes to everyone that knew him.
Posted By: 25yearsmlc Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 03/24/17 06:06 AM
Another Jeff/Jack3 quote to me was this:

I don't think DB is for the spouse, I think it is for us, to realize our value.
--the light at the end of the tunnel is the one we make I think.

I'd say sorry about h, but you deserve better. I AM sorry about the hardship you went through...but not you realizing that you deserve better.
Posted By: exquisitetobe Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 03/24/17 02:16 PM
25yrs, smile thank you for your presence at the moment.. i hoped you would contribute in J3B' s honour. Thank you!! And know that, to me, you were also words of wisdom.. you made a difference in my life . smile
Posted By: 25yearsmlc Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 03/24/17 09:19 PM
Originally Posted By: exquisitetobe
25yrs, smile thank you for your presence at the moment.. i hoped you would contribute in J3B' s honour. Thank you!! And know that, to me, you were also words of wisdom.. you made a difference in my life . smile


Thank you so much. That^^ means a great deal to me.
Posted By: 25yearsmlc Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 03/26/17 11:22 AM
Another one of Jack's (JEFF cry) was this part of his signature block (or it was for a long time anyhow)...


Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet
Posted By: frank_D Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 11/19/17 05:22 PM
The last time I spoke with Jeff, a long time ago, he posted this on my thread. I didn't absorb it then, but eventually, I came to understand.

------------------------------------------------------------
J3B: When I had to go, we had just talked about 'being the victim', and how I couldn't identify with the type of person who constantly used that.

I think that had a lot to do with helping me in this process.

When I realized that I was making myself the victim...whenever I talked with friends it was always about her and what she was doing and OM, and how could she and all the 'whys?'.

I realized that I was that type of person I couldn't understand, didn't want to, more importantly I didn't want to be.

"When you stare too long into the abyss..."

"When you fight monsters..."

While she was turning our history around to suit her poor choices and blaming me...

I was blaming her for my current unhappiness.

And exactly who is in control of how I feel?

The day I stopped being a victim, was the day I was was almost through it all.

---------------------------------------------------------

Good bye Jack.
Posted By: bttrfly Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 11/20/17 12:35 PM
Frank, thank you for posting this. I think that means I'm just about through. Thanks Jack, for still lighting the way xoxoxo
Posted By: Mach1 Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 12/19/22 03:06 PM
I happened about this, and thought it perfect for the season...

He told me once, that what you do THIS Christmas, will pay dividends next Christmas....


Originally Posted by J3B
Twas the week afore Christmas and all through my house;
My life was topsy turvy and chaotic, thanks to my MLC spouse.

The decorations were hung and the tree looked just right,
But the spirit was missing, not really joyful this night.

The kids, were rambunctious unmindful and driving me crazy,
Still they seemed fragile, a bit lacking and lazy.

Surrounded by family, but utterly alone,
My MLC spouse had much to atone.

Why? I railed silently, Why me, what have I done?
Its another holiday it supposed to be happy and fun!

And then my frantic eye settled upon the small manger,
To where a child was born to life full of danger.

Gods only son would be born, teach, suffer and die,
The real meaning of Christmas, not this marketing lie.

The real meaning, is giving, wholly without pause.
Not Rudolf or Frosty or Santa Claus.

Not receiving, not being selfish nor greedy,
To my MLC spouse, I need not to be needy.

To my children and family I give them my best,
Not this emotional wreck who needs lots of rest.

My suffering is small, my spouse might be worth it,
But this Christmas is about others, and I deserve it.

My children will be happy for I take the lead,
Not my bat-chit crazy spouse, with ambiguous need.

I will not feel sorry for myself or wallow in pity.
Its not fair to my kids, in fact, its kind of chitty.


--Make the holidays good, not for you but for others. Its not about you.



Just a bump and repost for my friend...
Posted By: Cadet Re: Jack Three Beans Words of Wisdom - 12/21/22 03:14 PM
Originally Posted by Mach1
I happened about this, and thought it perfect for the season...

He told me once, that what you do THIS Christmas, will pay dividends next Christmas....


Originally Posted by J3B
Twas the week afore Christmas and all through my house;
My life was topsy turvy and chaotic, thanks to my MLC spouse.

The decorations were hung and the tree looked just right,
But the spirit was missing, not really joyful this night.

The kids, were rambunctious unmindful and driving me crazy,
Still they seemed fragile, a bit lacking and lazy.

Surrounded by family, but utterly alone,
My MLC spouse had much to atone.

Why? I railed silently, Why me, what have I done?
Its another holiday it supposed to be happy and fun!

And then my frantic eye settled upon the small manger,
To where a child was born to life full of danger.

Gods only son would be born, teach, suffer and die,
The real meaning of Christmas, not this marketing lie.

The real meaning, is giving, wholly without pause.
Not Rudolf or Frosty or Santa Claus.

Not receiving, not being selfish nor greedy,
To my MLC spouse, I need not to be needy.

To my children and family I give them my best,
Not this emotional wreck who needs lots of rest.

My suffering is small, my spouse might be worth it,
But this Christmas is about others, and I deserve it.

My children will be happy for I take the lead,
Not my bat-chit crazy spouse, with ambiguous need.

I will not feel sorry for myself or wallow in pity.
Its not fair to my kids, in fact, its kind of chitty.


--Make the holidays good, not for you but for others. Its not about you.



Just a bump and repost for my friend...


I miss him too!
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