Well here we are, full moon and the little bunny pops his head out of bunny burrow again . . . . On time, on cue. What is it with these people?
For those of you still mired deep in pain, I am so very sorry. I do understand, but years on, they are (mostly) just strange.
I just received an offer to send a link to a tv series I missed and a link to an article I might be interested in. Ummm yes, but what about the intervening years? I am not that person any more.
Wow Bea. Very weird. I read the post where you wondered if he would surface. And, he did.
Some part of him realizes what he lost and wants it back.
Much love,
Heather
Hi Heather - I don't know - I just think he is playing around and seeing how much I will allow him to get away with.
Incidentally I read what you wrote about the anger dreams - I have had them when I woke up shaking with rage - and a few weeks later I realised just how much debris the release of the anger had cleared away. I am a great believer in dreams processing stuff from the subconscious in a safe way.
It is huge when we acknowledge our real anger and it paves the way for letting it go, finally.
Thanks Bea. I think so too.
I believe my dreams have been processing information I maybe haven't had time! to deal with in the daylight hours.
When my dad left my mom, he went on to make, literally, millions of dollars. He and his OW have enjoyed all that life has to offer in terms of the physical stuff. My mom ended up suffering through another terrible marriage.
I know that my situation has touched on some of these feelings of rage. How unfair life can be.
I think I am a person who really struggles when things just don't measure up in terms of justice. I see my daughters show the same quality.
I heard a minister describe in a sermon how, as he moved through the ranks of his ministry, he watched other people move forward financially and he KNEW they didn't pray as much, serve God as much, help others as much...It was refreshing to hear a minister describe his own frustrations on this issue.
I have years and years of anger built up. I was telling my sister last night how it's taken me three years to reach this point.
The only prayer I have right now, in terms of this anger, I want to use this power for good, not evil. And, that's hard. I've lashed out at my abusers. What I want, is to honor this stage of grief, like the others, and use this energy to...??? Make the lives of my daughters better, help women who are treated unfairly in the justice system, write a book, get buff??? IDK yet.
But, I'll be damned if I sit and do nothing with it. God has given me an assignment. Right now, I'm angry.
Hey Bea - Is today your birthday?
If so - Happy Birthday!
If not - what can I say, social media is not always right about things.
Yes it is - thanks for the greeting. I am having a fantastic time with things planned for the next week and it isn't even a big one!
Oh and guess who sent me a birthday text. You got it!
Now, do I reply??
Happy Birthday, B!
Does it make a difference if you reply at this point or not? I would, but it's your birthday - do it how you want.
AJ
AJ I did that thing! Well brought up me. In the words of the Paul Simon song, I'm having a good time.
Life is good.
Happy Birthday, Bea!
I'm curious, did you get bday texts before? Do you think you going to get a text for Mother's Day too?
Bright - I got a phone call last year and the year before, but I was travelling this year on my bday. Before that - nada for years and years. . . . . I doubt I would get a MD text. Parenting is a sore point with xh!!
Happy Birthday, Bea! I hope this is the best year ever :-)
Tx GB - it will be. Although I have had some pretty awesome ones to date.
I am so over being sad!!
Line of the day:
Happy Birthday, Bea!
Happy Birthday Bea!
I hope your special day was a great one!
Thanks - I had a really great day. Remembered the Paul Simon song 'Yesterday was my birthday' (for those of you old enough to remember that one)
And another email from xh today - oh joy. He is being so darned nice right now I am deeply suspicious.
Of course you're suspicious. But curious what makes you so at this point? I mean, what does he have to gain and you to lose?
Maybe there's something. It does make one wonder
Glad it was a good birthday!
AJ
AJ - I had a very very long relationship - all my adult life 30+ years. I have known for along time that this is a journey my xh has to take. I also know that MLC has heightened his tendency to be manipulative. Hence the suspicion. What is he up to?
His journey isn't over yet, and may never be. But we had a long and happy marriage which I still honour. So rather than cut him totally out of my life, I am now at a point where I can deal with him, and he seems to want a degree of connection, like a thin life line to his old life.
I realised this morning (before I read this) that I have let go of my anger, or my anger had let go of me. It is very freeing when it happens. Did he do awful things - oh my goodness yes, and he hurt me and the children. But we are all OK now, and holding onto the anger hurts no-one but ourselves.
I am not here to judge him. I have done so in the past, but not any more. He has to get through this (or not) and I am not about to make it harder for him. If any of that makes sense?
It makes sense, B. Sounds like you're suspicious because of past history of manipulative behavior. I get it.
I'm glad to hear you honor your past relationship and are free of that anger. Ugly stuff that anger
AJ
Happy belated birthday, my friend. Hope it was a great one.
Hi Bea,
Happy Belated, Belated Birthday.
Why doesn't it surprise me to see that your xh is still trying to get your attention. He is so predictable but seems to be just a tad bit kinder in his comments.
I don't blame you for staying on your toes with him. I'm happy that you've come to the place where you are able to deal with him without reacting. That is the key for all of us. One that I'm having trouble with. I try so hard not react while talking to my h but there are times when I want to just say what I want to say. I did that yesterday afternoon and he didn't like it one bit. He came just short of accusing me of trying to delay the d process. It's taking longer than he hoped and of course I must be the reason. There's more to it but I will post on my own thread instead of hijacking yours!
I feel like I'm reading a soap opera when I come to your thread. One that I look forward to. More than the drama I enjoy reading about how you've made your way to the peace that comes through your posts.
I hate to admit this but I do remember the Paul Simon song that you mentioned.
NLT - I am so sorry you are going through the divorce. Seems like it is something (some/most) feel the need to do.
And yes, I do feel my life is a bit like a soap opera - a rather low level drama which is compulsive rather than actually very interesting.
I needed to contact xh about an issue relating to our former joint business affairs. He was polite and helpful up to a point, but scuttled quickly back into his rabbit hole. First time I have initiated contact in a long time.
I haven't wasted much mental energy on this, but wonder if he finds being reminded of his old life as painful as I used to do.
To me it is now something that happened. It left its scars and there are issues I am still dealing with, but I don't think I am any longer in a destructive cycle, nor am I in denial.
I am now involved in a new business venture, as an adviser, and loving it! No interest in a relationship though!
Well bunnikins just phoned for a long chat. Wants to know how to approach the children. I was pleasant but tough and not very helpful. His circus, his monkeys.
I have no idea why he suddenly called out of the blue. If I hadn't ended the call he would still be there talking away. He said it had been nice talking to me (aaahhhh) and when could he see my again (WTF). Which bit of 'you left me and the children nearly a decade ago and we have lives' does he not get??
Yes, it would be nice if he had a relationship with his children, but it isn't my problem, and never was.
But actually it is quite funny
Well, that's interesting. How many more times is he going to ask you about how to approach the children, which by the way are adults, and get the same answers from you?
Gosh the circus is in town and I've got to run out and get my ticket and lots of popcorn for this particular show. LOL!
Your life is never dull.
And, I just got a phone call (one of those computer generated numbers, same system that my xh uses - different number But same area code). It was apparently a wrong number BUT I get a wrong number once in a blue moon, and I strongly suspect from her accent (I don't know the woman) that is my xh's new wife. I think she is checking up on him.
Not many people use this particular system where I live.
Job, dull is good!!
Sounds like he is still trying to come to terms with the decisions he has made and wants to keep a connection with you. For some reason you are the connection to the children, perhaps because he didn't put in the time to have a real connection with them himself. You have a great strength to just address the facts and not get too involved.
DJ - honestly who knows? My children are all adult now and two of them are married. My xh has seriously upset their wives, and when I told him this, quite gently, he didn't argue.
It is practice, and detachment in the name of sanity that has got me here. I wouldn't have done it without a huge amount of support from some wonderful people on these boards. Many of them no longer post, but Job still does for which I know many of us are truly grateful
The strength of some of the newer posters, and their insight is amazing. I do not know what I would have done without this place.
And, I just got a phone call (one of those computer generated numbers, same system that my xh uses - different number But same area code). It was apparently a wrong number BUT I get a wrong number once in a blue moon, and I strongly suspect from her accent (I don't know the woman) that is my xh's new wife. I think she is checking up on him.
Not many people use this particular system where I live.
Maybe his new wife is checking to make sure XH has no OW on the side.
Ironic...heh.
I think she is very threatened by me.
OH I just got an email to say a gift is on its way - from the Easter bunny
Oh, goody! Can't wait to hear what he purchased you! Maybe you are getting a plastic Easter Egg! LOL!
Apparently it's a boxed DVD set - I can't always stream things from my home . . . . just in case you think I am a techie dinosaur!
A tv series he thought I might enjoy!!
He's being very thoughtful. It's any wonder his "lady" is concerned about what he's doing. Bea, in his mind, you are becoming his ow!
He bought you a present??!!!! WTF?
Heather - yes a pressie, and he want sto see me again (it's a bit like being in high school)
Job - Not sure how I feel about being OW!!
Don't eat it, could be poisoned by his wife
Just the fact he is making the effort to MAIL you something and it's not a bomb is something of a miracle...based upon my own experience.
Heather - I know. It is beyond weird. This man was intent on sueing me for over 18 months . . . .
Bea,
You might want to x-ray the package before opening it.
Bea,
This mlc pattern is seriously weird isn't it?
I'm just wondering how you're feeling.
I can imagine thinking that it's better, after having developed a new life (and re-established your equilibrium), not to want to have him re-insert himself...
But the curiosity to understand what on earth these people are going through is so strong (at least for me).
And of course, there will always be a connection.
Just wondering how you are handling this, feeling-wise.
Maybe they slip in and out of denial as a way to deal with their actions
forgetting all the things they have done and thinking we forget too
Hi NLW and Peace, it is strange, but I haven't thought that much about the phone call. I noticed when I woke up this morning that I was thinking about all sorts of other stuff, and not very much about xh even though we had a long telephone conversation
You do not forget a long (30year plus) and very close relationship, but the hurt and pain have gone, for the most part, and over the past few years I have built a life that suits me. It would probably drive many people crazy, but I am not living anyone else's life!
The thing is I am comfortable in my own skin and I don't feel the failure that I did for so long after my xh left.
But I don't resent him any more.
I think they do slip in and out of denial, but I am not sure that this is what the reent contact is about. My xh truly misses his children (and me I suspect) and believes he can have a relationship on his terms with us without disturbing the equilibrium of his life. Wel, we will see where that goes.
And I could be wrong!
Maybe it is his form of reconnection
and you are right..you can only see where it goes
relationships are all different and maybe it can be a peaceful relationship as he continues to move forward and away from the crises
I hope the best for you--it is great that you have no pain or anger anymore-
and your kids
It would be best to form some kind of peace with it all
Hey my friend. First of all, I am so happy to read how at peace you are. Took a long time to get there...us, right? But we did and in our own way.
I agree with you. I think he is missing parts of his old life. The great thing is that you get to decide how much you want him to re-enter yours and in what capacity. And you will do it from a place of strength and in your wonderful "Bea" way.
You are an amazing woman, Bea. Honored to have walked my journey among you.
Ur - back at you, and thank you. I think the final part of all of this was finally facing my fears.
Bea, I’ve been following along with your updates. Finally, have some time to post. It’s been very interesting to “watch” the development… The phone calls, the b-day present… Next thing you know he will show up with the flowers and a bottle of champagne, LOL.
It is very comforting to know that the hurt and pain are gone from your life. I’m looking forward to these days… for me…
And always thanks for visiting my thread
My gift arrived and it hasn't exploded - yet!! In fact it is rather nice . . . . . .
Bea- just like Bright I have followed your posts and am so glad to see you are living a life that brings you contentment. Just reading how the pain fades is a huge comfort. I must admit that I am fascinated by your XH's behavior as well.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. Enjoy the gift but most importantly, enjoy your life.
Thanks Gwen - trust me, I am enjoying life more and more!
Bea,
I'm glad to hear that the gift turned out to be a "nice" one. I have this feeling that you'll be getting more of those "nice" gifts in the future.
Enjoy!
Bea,
Yay! All's well in the gift dept.
So I send a polite and brief thank you email and a link to something I think he would enjoy. I am playing nice here.
Well!!!! I get a link back to a (very romantic) song that we both enjoyed from a movie we watched before MLC.
In other news, the weather here is wonderful. Hope everyone else north of the equator is enjoying summer by now.
Bea,
I can't wait to see the next chapter of your life unfold. I've got the popcorn ready and need to find my spot on the curb. I think it's going to get really interesting in the next few months.
I'm so happy to hear that the weather is wonderful there. We've had some really good weather in my area too.
Enjoy!
It is getting to swimming weather - can't wait. And my roses are out and smell just lovely. The honeysuckle too.
The bunny might have popped a little too far out of his burrow. We shall see.
Job...can I sit right next to you on the curbside? You seem to have the best seats and I wanna grab it before it gets too crowded.
I am thinking of issuing tickets - can't charge my good friends for ringside seats though!! Thought someone might want to take a popcorn concessions
I am mean with the heavy butter and salt ... looking forward to what appears to be an interesting progression.
Cali - you are more than welcome - we can at least all have a heart attack!! (actually turns out what we suspected all along - butter really isn't so bad for us)
I want in!!! Got my comfy chair and umbrella...:)
And maybe a drinks stand - mojitos anyone??
Well!!!! I get a link back to a (very romantic) song that we both enjoyed from a movie we watched before MLC.
Weird. I'll take a mojito.
Does anyone here admit to remembering the poolboys?? (sigh)
Does anyone here admit to remembering the poolboys?? (sigh)
Yes however I prefer girls.....
Cadet - we never knew!! So are you mixing mojitos?
Yes, I remember the pool boys and I believe Barb was the first to come up with that line. Those were the days.
I want to join! I’ll take a mojito too!
Yes, I’m completely stunned at this “link to a romantic song”. He is going “bold” on you, Bea.
I think my xh spools himself with these contacts . . . .he pops out and pops back into his burrow.
Life is not quite what he thought it would be after all this time, but he still hasn't a clue how to put it right. He is trying being 'nice' to me. It is actually OK, better than spewing. But still not really sorting himself out. It is a shame, but it isn't really impacting on my life - I deal with it here, and get on with my life . No-one else even begins to understand this stuff . . .
Bea,
Not only does he spook himself...but he could also be waiting to see if you pursue him. Keep in mind, he's being playing the pursuit/distant game for quite some time. First he was angry and did everything in his power to get your attention by going to lawyers and now, he's done a turnaround being nice. This is how the game is played. If he can't get you to pursue one way, he'll try another.
Just my two cents from where I'm sitting on the curb.
Well, I was typing away and my reply just disappeared!
Job, I think you were the first person to draw my attention to the pursuer/distance dance, and I now recognise it as one of the ways that my xh emotionally engaged throughout our marriage.
When he first left he distanced himself for weeks months and even years (I can't honestly remember the details, nor do I want to) I suspect he wanted me to go after him, but even in the early days I realised that running after him wasn't a good idea, nor something I would ever want to do.
Now I am older, and I hope a little wiser, I see the dysfunctionality in this type of relationship very clearly. I respond to him, but I rarely initiate contact unless there is a need. However I try always to be pleasant. He is the father of my children, and warts and all I was married a long time, and very happy too. Funny, it is like the MLCer says - 'it isn't what I want any more'!
Bea, I really want to get there in my head. The detachment without anger.myou are my hero!
Oh Gwen - it took me forever - but thanks. I really like where I am now - it absolutely wasn't what I would have chosen for my life, and certainly wasn't what I wanted, but now I am here, all I can say is what a little person I was.
I would stress that I am sometimes lonely, sometimes miss what I had and took for granted, and have all the normal stresses, aches and pains etc. But I am good in myself.
The idea of circle of concern and circle of influence helps - if we focus on what we can do something about, actually we find there is more and more we can influence, and so it expands. We can't alter what our former spouses are doing. That is their journey, and it is a hard one too. As hard in its own way as ours is.
it s difficult to grasp that when you are in emotional pain and see the person responsible living on the high hog, apparently.
Does anyone here admit to remembering the poolboys?? (sigh)
Oh Bea, we had such fun here back in the day, didnt we?
Bunnikins has gone away!! Longest gap since the beginning of 2015
(for those of you who haven't watched previous episodes he used to disapppear from months and even years at a time, but recently has been putting in regular email and phone appearances)
Probably the recent encounter has exhausted his limited emotional reserves and he is regrouping (Or his wife has locked him in a cupboard)
From time to time I wonder what his next move will be. Or maybe he has gone away for good this time???
He may be digging a new tunnel, but he's not gone for good. He's got to digest his latest interactions w/you and when that's completed, he'll contact you again.
Job, I will be sure to let you know!!
Hi Bea, I just read back to the start of this thread. Yes, it's an interesting dynamic from your H. He seems to put out these little feelers of - what would it be like if we were in touch more, if we spoke, had more links again - and so on.
I think you do very well to receive, respond, reflect, move on, don't look back. Because, if you were still 'attached' it might be a bit of a rollercoaster again. I don't agree that your life is a soap opera. I think your calm approach deflects any hints of soap opera plot entirely, and I feel hopeful that I may get to that place at some point too.
I enjoyed reading about how you have released the anger too. You do sound content and at peace. More so than your H if I may say. It looks almost as though he would like you to become OW to his present M (ugh..) which suggests he may still not be altogether happy. Shame that he hasn't managed to reconnect with the kids either.
Interesting that he popped out of the burrow for a good old look, and then he popped back in again for a good old while. I wonder if the more of a look he has, the more he needs to pop back in for a while.
Anyway, I guess all of this is a moot point as you are clearly happy with your life as it is - which I truly applaud, for it has been hard won like many posters on these boards, and I raise a glass of prosecco to you (well, a mug of tea actually but a minor detail between DB friends!)
T xx
Hi - nice to hear from you Toots. I used to post under another name but suspected that my xh may have been reading along, so I go back a long way
I was married a very very long time (over 30 years) and was extremely happy. So I cut my xh a lot of slack because we have a long history.
He was an extremely mean and ugly MLCer so this period of calm is much welcomed. He upset and alienated his children over a long period of time, and now largely blames me for the situation. Oh well. The gifts I find funny.
No-one has a clue as to why he married his current wife. Even my dil's mother finds it strange (she met her briefly prior to my son's wedding). My xh didn't attend which didn't impress anyone
Yes, I think this might be it: “his wife has locked him in a cupboard”. I agree with job. I don’t think he is gone for good… I’m stocking on some popcorn here…
Oops, spoke too soon - I got a phone call today from xh. Apparently son number 2 has agreed to meet his father and they want me along. Hmmmmm
I get the sense that xh is pretty nervous around me these days. Maybe it is my animal magnetism
Well, that didn't take long a all. LOL! Why do you need to go along? Aren't they both adults?
Job, it's complicated . . . . Maybe I don't need to go. They met up once without me earlier this year, and both wanted me to go along to another meeting . . . . I am thinking about this one.
They are very alike, and I think the estrangement is hard for both of them. But it might just be their problem!
If I am honest I think it is an excuse on my xh's part to see me. And my son loves us both.
I realise I am making him sound a bit strange . . ..
Bea,
Is there anyway that you can bow out gracefully and gently nudge them toward their own R? I mean...it's for them to figure out themselves. They don't need you to be their interpreter, right?
Wonka - currently working on the script!!
I love my middle son. I feel in many ways he got an especially raw deal over all of this. His location, age, and fall out . . . Actually he is a competent human being who everyone loves, and bends over backwards to accommodate (as I am doing).
Dang! Just realized this:
They both want you there as a "buffer" as two lions circling each other...and sizing up the other.
There's another option:
You go and say your "hellos" then excuse yourself ...then go to a local bookstore or whatnot.
Hmmmmm....
I was thinking about excusing myself as an option: xh still wants to cast me as the villain. To this end I am growing some fangs, but it is taking time. So showing up then smiling and going clothes, books or food shopping seems like a great idea!
Bea,
I still think that this meeting should be between the two of them. They are both adults and they will have to learn how to mend the bridges on their own. If your son was a teenager or younger, I would say yes, go in a heartbeat, but your son is older and should be able to meet w/his father and if need be, lay it all out for his father as to how he feels w/o his mother being there as a buffer or anything else.
If you opt to go, then I would do as Wonka has suggested. Go, say your hellos and then leave after a bit. It's time that your xh figure out how to communicate and mend the bridges w/his sons. After all, he's the one that burned the bridges and he's got to be the one to rebuild them. You can't go around rescuing him from his bloody mistakes or he'll never learn how to communicate w/his sons.
All excellent advice - thank you
I would see what your son wants, and why.
If your son wants you there because he feels the need for some protection from ex's craziness - well, I'm a mom, I would do that for my son. If son says "I dunno why he wants you there, mom, I don't care" - then bow out, it's just another manipulation on Ex's part.
Bea, I think you know me by now..that there isnt anything I wouldnt do for my son. And if there is a really strong reason he wants you there, I would seriously consider it.
If not, I really think it would be good for your son to navigate this himself. After all, that's part of life, right?
And I also think, hel!, let your xh have to deal with it like a big boy. He made the mess..let him clean it up some.
Having had 24 hours to consider it - it is all rather childish! One thing i have noticed in our interactions is that my xh is really nervous around me these days. Whether phone, email of face-to-fce he is trying to please. Makes a change from aggression. But it is still weird.
Here's the thing - a big part of all of this (for my sons) was how they saw my xh treat me. And it is a big part of any reconciliation process that he treats me well. So what I think my son is trying to do is see if he is capable of behaving well around me . . . . they have already met up, and my xh puruses this one relentlessly as he is the only one prepared to even give him air time.
Well, Just spoke to my youngest son about something else entirely, and at the end of the conversation he said his father has been phoning regularly, has apologised profusely and they are meeting up shortly!!
Xh said to him 'I have been fairly awful for the last few years' !!!!!!!!
I am going to need a popcorn concession
Bea,
Wow! Bringing up Butterfingers and sitting right next to ya...
Rip Van Winkle is slowly waking up.
Whoa. Are pigs flying? I'm afraid to look out the window.
Hi Beatrice!
How are you in all this? Do you trust it? I am so sceptical myself in my story line.
No - I don't trust it, and I am right not to. All my xh wants is to be rehabilitated into the family without really doing other than saying sssry if he has to.
He wants to feel good about himself. I would say it is a partial awakening, he doesn't like what he sees and wants reassurance from his family that all is OK.
He is less mean, but he still doesn't get it. Iam lite but he not my 'friend'.
Bea,
I'm truly sorry he's not working on himself and is just giving lip service these days. It's a shame because he lost so much and had a good family that would have stood by him through thick and thin.
I wanted to just give you an update on Rip Van Winkle. He's been mia since October 1, 2014. I've not heard a peep out of him. His home sold June 26th and I can only guess that he might be relocating back to where he was originally from. Like you, I wish him well and hope that some day he will find that illusive happiness he has so desperately been seeking for many years.
Bea, I admire the way that you've handled your situation. You are a lady of great dignity and grace and have been a wonderful example of how you have carried on w/your life. My hat's off to you!
Job, thank you for stopping by, and your kind words. I have been such a mess throughout so much of this. We all deal with it in our own way, and the rejection is tough. Perhaps the hardest of all for me.
We had lunch together with my middle son on Saturday, and afterwards I wrote and thanked him for lunch (he paid) and explained nicely that it doesn't work for me meeting up like this. It was a friendly email, and kind.
Anyway, if he 'got it' he would have replied, saying he understood, and was sorry that was how it was, or some such. As it is I have heard nothing. The silence is powerful.
He has 'improved' to the point that he doesn't come back with angry and controlling bluster, but anyone emotionally normal would have said something.
As for your RVP - what can I say? They are emotional idiots.
To anyone here struggling with MLC -there are definitely degrees. It is always painful, and some MLCers come through. But it is OK to feel awful - just try, for your own sake not to stay in the awfulness. There is a world out there full of nice people.
Bea,
You are always a lady of grace and dignity. I'm sure your email was very kind and appreciative of him paying for the meal, but I'm sure he didn't want to hear that it wasn't working for you. He's going to have to take some time to digest that bit of news and then he'll respond (again). I might be wrong, but he's going to try something different next time to get you to spend more time around/with him.
Oh, I agree w/you completely that they are emotional idiots. The things that they say and do and how they go about destroying careers, relationships, etc. is just unbelievable. Some do come through it and go on to lead happy and fulfilling lives.
I also agree w/you on the degrees of MLC. We have seen a few different degrees of MLC here over the years and you are absolutely correct in stating it's okay to feel awful, but try not to remain that way for a very long period of time. No one wants to remain "stuck". Life is far too short to stay in the rabbit hole. The world is out there waiting w/open arms to show you that there is life after MLC and there are many kind and wonderful people out there just waiting to welcome you into their lives.
He's going to have to take some time to digest that bit of news and then he'll respond (again). I might be wrong, but he's going to try something different next time to get you to spend more time around/with him.
Well, you aren't usually wrong. For now I will enjoy the peace.
Bea,
I love reading your posts. That was nice about the lunch and you are wise to be cautious. Some of these MLC peeps are a different breed and worthy of a show on the Discovery Channel.
Job said it wonderfully so I don't have much more to add other than your h sounds like a fool for giving up all that he had. You are a smart, funny lady who clearly loves her family. Keep living a good life:)
Bea,
From your perspective, how did the lunch go? How did your middle son handle it? How did XH behave and interact with the two of you? Less anger?
Wonka - the lunch went well, socially. My middle son was telling his father about his new job, and trying not to tell him his plans for his summer vacation. I made light and fairly inconsequential conversation (I can whitter at world class level if required)
Xh interacted well as someone who we knew slightly, but there was no closeness. It was just weird, as if we were playing parts in a not very good play. Frankly I was slightly bored . . . . .
Much less visible anger. No idea if he was boiling away inside.
The world is out there waiting w/open arms to show you that there is life after MLC
and there are many kind and wonderful people out there just waiting to welcome you into their lives.
AGREED!
The world is out there waiting w/open arms to show you that there is life after MLC
and there are many kind and wonderful people out there just waiting to welcome you into their lives.
AGREED!
Try telling it to a real sad sack of a MLCer!!!
It' s the MLCer story.. I made the mistake of sharing his story instead of mine. I was thinking about MY accomplishment since this MLC entered my, no OUR lives ( me and my kids ). We are above great. We ALL impacted this small community we live in. The comments made and the RESPECT we get is unbellivable. THAT is what matters. OUR outcome. If the MLCer wants in it, it is up to them to make it happen. We definitely will not settle for anything less. When and if they make it across, they will do anything to get what is necessary. Quote from a friend: " When you really want something, you know what you have to do to get it "... SOOOOOO TRUEEEEEEE
Bea,
You may want to start a new thread before this one gets locked.
Hi Beatrice,
I wanted to come over here to learn more about you as you have been taking time to give me so much good advice. Thank you again for all your wisdom!
You are one tough cookie.
You come across as so kind and at peace in your posts to me. I cannot believe this given your sitch. Job has told me I will grow stronger than I ever imagined possible. You are a true testament to that statement.