er Needing Advice....... - 07/08/13 05:53 AM
Hey gang, hope everyone is doing ok.
I am needing some advice.
As you know I had been dating J for almost 4 yrs. He bought the house I live in but moved 15 hours away and no plans of returning. Dont know why he bought the house to begin with but thats another story I guess. Anyway, I have been staying here since he left. He has some things still here in the garage and in the house. Not many things, but he didnt want to leave the house empty.
I have been living here for free but he now wants rent. I dont mind to pay rent, it is reasonable and I love it here BUT he will not make a contract of any sort and he has laid down some other rules.
We have not dated in a yr or so, just been kinda friends. He comes home about twice a yr. for a couple weeks at a time. Which WAS very hard on me emotionally.
I asked him to get his stuff so he wouldnt have to come back and to change the locks and so forth since I would be paying him rent.
He has made several demands, some in anger. I told him I was going on with my life and he says great. BUT He now says I am not to have any MEN in his house, he doesnt want them bothering his stuff. (I have always had friends here and he never said anything before). He says he doesnt want them in his bed. I dont even sleep in his bed myself and would not do that anyway. He says this is HIS house.
I have thought about leaving but my nephew loves it here and has friends and I also like the neighborhood.
I still get his mail here and he has a bank account here.
I dont know why he hasnt changed his mail.
He has lived in another state for over 2 yrs.
I would love to just pay him rent and not have him popping in when he wants. If he gets his stuff he would have no reason to. He keeps saying he is getting it but then never does. I feel stuck!
My friend says he is STILL trying to control me.
What do I do?
I once loved him but feel nothing but sadness now.
I need to go on with my life.
He wants to be best friends. come home go to movies ext.
i dont want that. I cant!
He gets angry because I cant do this. He basically wants a rel with me witout any emotion or sex or anything. JUST FRIENDSHIP but wants me to cook when he is here and go place with him. I dont know what to do except cut him out completely, but I dont want to move. SIGH......UGH.....any advice?
Thanks!
Renee
I am needing some advice.
As you know I had been dating J for almost 4 yrs. He bought the house I live in but moved 15 hours away and no plans of returning. Dont know why he bought the house to begin with but thats another story I guess. Anyway, I have been staying here since he left. He has some things still here in the garage and in the house. Not many things, but he didnt want to leave the house empty.
I have been living here for free but he now wants rent. I dont mind to pay rent, it is reasonable and I love it here BUT he will not make a contract of any sort and he has laid down some other rules.
We have not dated in a yr or so, just been kinda friends. He comes home about twice a yr. for a couple weeks at a time. Which WAS very hard on me emotionally.
I asked him to get his stuff so he wouldnt have to come back and to change the locks and so forth since I would be paying him rent.
He has made several demands, some in anger. I told him I was going on with my life and he says great. BUT He now says I am not to have any MEN in his house, he doesnt want them bothering his stuff. (I have always had friends here and he never said anything before). He says he doesnt want them in his bed. I dont even sleep in his bed myself and would not do that anyway. He says this is HIS house.
I have thought about leaving but my nephew loves it here and has friends and I also like the neighborhood.
I still get his mail here and he has a bank account here.
I dont know why he hasnt changed his mail.
He has lived in another state for over 2 yrs.
I would love to just pay him rent and not have him popping in when he wants. If he gets his stuff he would have no reason to. He keeps saying he is getting it but then never does. I feel stuck!
My friend says he is STILL trying to control me.
What do I do?
I once loved him but feel nothing but sadness now.
I need to go on with my life.
He wants to be best friends. come home go to movies ext.
i dont want that. I cant!
He gets angry because I cant do this. He basically wants a rel with me witout any emotion or sex or anything. JUST FRIENDSHIP but wants me to cook when he is here and go place with him. I dont know what to do except cut him out completely, but I dont want to move. SIGH......UGH.....any advice?
Thanks!
Renee