Living and keep praying - 05/09/11 01:14 AM
Happy Mother's Day to all you lovely ladies! Happy Mother's Day to all those LB men who are doing the job of mothering children, and a better job than the misguided woman who left you.
There is an art to mothering, isn't there?
I am well and happy. TJ is a sweetie. He treats me better than he did in our marriage. I still do not have ILY, all but.
If you want the short version, 'nuff said. (stop reading).
If you want to gleen any hint that you can apply to your sitch, keep on.
He has tried to get the message of ILY to me using other words, and I think I finally believe it today. His Mother's Day was amazing. We still live in separate states and see each other about every 3 weeks. I visited him this weekend, and it was perfect. He is really relaxed w me. He is not "on guard" at all. He knows what to expect from me, and I like the person I am giving him.
I was concerned that I am not seeing any progress lately. I think that after a certain point, the progress is harder to see as the goal becomes closer.
He initiated the get together the weekend before. He had suggested getting together in St. Louis to visit oldest daughter and her husband. I have been in the habit of going to St L for M day. She always shows us the best of the city, and it is always fun. She was evasive about this year's visit, and a good explaination came later this week. So TJ figured out that I would be alone, and ask me if I wanted company. I offered to go up there, and he said "It's up to you". That is SO not the way decisions were made in our M.
We went to a Crew Regatta that his niece was in, we played golf at his CC, WE WENT TO CHURCH, and I made his favorite meal. We went to brunch this am, and I left around noon.
He gave me a MD gift, and a card that brings me to tears. It gave me a view of what zipping your lips means to the MLC who is coming back to himself. I have not asked for anything in our new R. No strings attached relationship. I was debating if he was far enough along to treat this as a truly mature relationship, ie: meeting my needs that have been on the back burner. He had a right to know what I needed in a R, right?
Well, I don't ask. I just enjoy what is offered. And when it comes, pure magic. Zip the Lips.
I think it has been very important to TJ that he knows long term that I am not going to punish him. I will not bring up the ugly past. He will not have to live without me trusting him. I thought I had gotten all the mileage I could out of that strategy, but it is still yielding benifits for our relationship.
His card was something like this: OK OK, exactly like this!
Happy MD to a STRONG woman who's been through it all.
The ups, the downs. The good times and the bad times.
The hopes the dreams
The fears and worries,
the pain and tears
The heartache and ECSTACY!
The craziness, the joy
the comedy the tragedy
the laughter
the exhaustion
THE ANTICIPATION!!
(inside)
And that was all since yesterday!
He wrote:
Haha...Don't you know it!
Hope you enjoy your special day,,,you deserve it!
Glad we can spend it together.
XXXOOO
TJ
If that is not an endorsement for waiting for answers to fall in your lap, I don't know what is.
Thank you Snodderly. I think I knew that your nugget of advice was meant for me to take to heart.
If by chance you read this Snodderly, I want you to know that your mothering of all us lost chicks (and roosters) has earned you an Honorary Mothers Degree. Thanks for your patience with US, and Happy Mother's day sweet lady.
So let the patience begin in earnest!
Always,
Hooolly.
(The mispelling is a shout out to YELLLoooo Rose. )
There is an art to mothering, isn't there?
I am well and happy. TJ is a sweetie. He treats me better than he did in our marriage. I still do not have ILY, all but.
If you want the short version, 'nuff said. (stop reading).
If you want to gleen any hint that you can apply to your sitch, keep on.
He has tried to get the message of ILY to me using other words, and I think I finally believe it today. His Mother's Day was amazing. We still live in separate states and see each other about every 3 weeks. I visited him this weekend, and it was perfect. He is really relaxed w me. He is not "on guard" at all. He knows what to expect from me, and I like the person I am giving him.
I was concerned that I am not seeing any progress lately. I think that after a certain point, the progress is harder to see as the goal becomes closer.
He initiated the get together the weekend before. He had suggested getting together in St. Louis to visit oldest daughter and her husband. I have been in the habit of going to St L for M day. She always shows us the best of the city, and it is always fun. She was evasive about this year's visit, and a good explaination came later this week. So TJ figured out that I would be alone, and ask me if I wanted company. I offered to go up there, and he said "It's up to you". That is SO not the way decisions were made in our M.
We went to a Crew Regatta that his niece was in, we played golf at his CC, WE WENT TO CHURCH, and I made his favorite meal. We went to brunch this am, and I left around noon.
He gave me a MD gift, and a card that brings me to tears. It gave me a view of what zipping your lips means to the MLC who is coming back to himself. I have not asked for anything in our new R. No strings attached relationship. I was debating if he was far enough along to treat this as a truly mature relationship, ie: meeting my needs that have been on the back burner. He had a right to know what I needed in a R, right?
Well, I don't ask. I just enjoy what is offered. And when it comes, pure magic. Zip the Lips.
I think it has been very important to TJ that he knows long term that I am not going to punish him. I will not bring up the ugly past. He will not have to live without me trusting him. I thought I had gotten all the mileage I could out of that strategy, but it is still yielding benifits for our relationship.
His card was something like this: OK OK, exactly like this!
Happy MD to a STRONG woman who's been through it all.
The ups, the downs. The good times and the bad times.
The hopes the dreams
The fears and worries,
the pain and tears
The heartache and ECSTACY!
The craziness, the joy
the comedy the tragedy
the laughter
the exhaustion
THE ANTICIPATION!!
(inside)
And that was all since yesterday!
He wrote:
Haha...Don't you know it!
Hope you enjoy your special day,,,you deserve it!
Glad we can spend it together.
XXXOOO
TJ
If that is not an endorsement for waiting for answers to fall in your lap, I don't know what is.
Thank you Snodderly. I think I knew that your nugget of advice was meant for me to take to heart.
If by chance you read this Snodderly, I want you to know that your mothering of all us lost chicks (and roosters) has earned you an Honorary Mothers Degree. Thanks for your patience with US, and Happy Mother's day sweet lady.
So let the patience begin in earnest!
Always,
Hooolly.
(The mispelling is a shout out to YELLLoooo Rose. )
