Update from a success story - DivorceBusting.com

Hello Dbers,
Not sure if anyone around here remembers me, but my DH favoriteweirdo and I are a DB success story. Just wanted to come by and update anyone that cares.
FW and I are still together. About two years ago, FW got a new job that moved us across the country to the Southwest where the sun always shines.

. We have joined a new church out here and continue to work on our marriage. Things are not always rainbows and roses, but to be honest the biggest thing this experience has taught me is that no marriage is.
Trust has come back slowly but surely and I still have moments where I worry. They don't come often (once or twice a year maybe) and FW is good about being understanding and helping me throught it.
I may try to find some of my old posts and link them here if anyone is interested in reading the back story. I feel for all of you going through this now and wish you the best. Biggest advice is patience and trust in God. He will get you through this one no matter the outcome.

BFM

Originally Posted By: butterflymom127

Biggest advice is patience and trust in God. He will get you through this one no matter the outcome.

BFM

I am so glad you said this, because I am putting my faith in God,and he keeps telling me patience. I would love to read your story if you can link it here!
Blessings!

My first post

Here Lorrie,

Be warned - my methods were unorthodox by most standards here...

You live very close to where FW and I used to live. I was in Central KY before moving 2 years ago. I will also link to FW (my husband's posts) too.

God is awesome and works on his own time. My marriage would not be restored were it not for HIM.

BFM

oh - i couldn't remember my password to my original account, but I promise it is me

favoriteweirdo's thread

Here is a link my DH's thread as well. It was written shortly after her came home and is an interesting look into the mind of an MLCer.

BFM

Hi BFM, I remember you!!!! I am so happy that things are going well for you and your H!

Keep up the great work!!

Y

BFM,

Thank you VERY much for your update. I have been at this for 2 1/2 years and it is reassuring to hear that this CAN work. When I first came to the board I searched for all of the success stories. I will read the link you posted again ---- but this time with the perspective of someone who has been on this path much longer.

Best wishes to you both,

GAG

Thank you very much!! I am actually from Owensboro, KY so we were much closer to one another at one time in our lives. Thanks for the links. I will read them. If you read my threads you will see that I am too a bit unorthodox too, but I believe in standing for my marriage and trusting God. I believe in the DB principles and how somethings can be combined to individuals sitches. So, reading yours will be helpful, but I am truly relying on God for guidance in my journey. Right now, I hear him to tell me to be patient. So, I am learning to be patient and at the same time using many of the DB principles.

Blessings!

BFM - so good to hear from you! I've changed my screen name, but still value your posts and personal advice that you gave me. My H is still "gone" and I am finally, gradually letting go (3 years later). It has been almost a year that he demanded that I get a L and start D proceedings. I did hire the L, but will not do the work for him.....so I stand for my M, but live my life knowing that my M is dead and do not see him ever returning to me. I'm so glad you are still doing well. Would love to have more posts from FW too!

(di an a mo)

My posts are still around, but I changed the screen name on them as well.........circumstances led me to feel exposed.

Congratulations and thankyou for updating!

BFM - I remember you too. Good to hear from you. My H and I continue to go from strength to strength.....with the occasional wobble you describe and my H is like yours in his attitude.

I will have been married 25 years this September.

Butterfly,

I am glad that you and FW are doing great.

Would you agree that FW was an exteremly rare case and that for many MLCers finding out about this place is not a good idea?

BFM, Thank you for posting. I read your thread and also FW's. You have an amazing story.

The mind of an MLC'er is amazing, but more so when you hear it first hand! I am not sure if my H has MLC, if ever he is, he seems pretty nice too, especially now, and I identified with your sitch in many ways. I esepcially read about the physical attraction part because I too, have a problem with that. Reading about it from your H point of view, that it may have helped keep the connection, makes me breathe a sigh of relief.

I hope more success stories will come out and post, they are inspiring, and also, a good model for us who are struggling!

Butterflymom,

You did what you knew you needed to do in the way of walking the journey, and managed to come through with your marriage; God did, indeed perform a miracle within your marriage.

Yet, in the new marriage that came out of the fires of the crisis; as you and your husband have learned; the work never stops; it continues.

As long as God is put first, all else will follow and blessings will abound.

Quote:

Biggest advice is patience and trust in God. He will get you through this one no matter the outcome.

You are absolutely correct.

You followed HIS instruction; given through your intuition; NEVER think your methods were "unorthodox".

There was a time for you to back away, and a time for you to come forward, because you listened to Him; you knew these times.

God has His Way of doing things; and as long as you obey Him and His direction; you KNOW things will come out all right.

The above statement you made is key for bringing anyone through anything; He never puts anymore on you than you can bear at any given time.

I've read the threads; including your husband's and I can see where your husband DID go through a MLC; the reason he was able to talk about it; was the fact he was able to lay his pride aside; you can't say that about most people.

He also struck me as a very outgoing person; and one who was willing to be open about not only the crisis; but his mistakes within that time.

God works in mysterious ways; His wonders to behold; God brings so many good things out of bad situations.

The few who are willing to speak of their experience confirms MLC as a true life's trial...and people are not just imagining things.

You trust in the Lord for the outcome; you take the journey laid before your feet to change, growth and healing; and you HOPE your MLC spouse does the same.

Each one facing themselves and each other, it takes TWO to bring the marriage back together if both are willing to do the work.

Been there, too.

May God continue to light your paths and bless your marriage beyond your expectations; as the future; which is a bright one, shines before the two of you.

Thanks for checking back in butterflymom, love to hear about success!

I have read all your threads, including your husband's and I say I am inspired that God worked on you both even if you didn't know it. Your story gives me confirmation that God is working on mine and many other broken marriages.

If you get on again, I heard a song this week that reminded me of all those WAS/MLCer's out there and you and your husband's story. Come Home by Luminate

This is an awesome song and I wish my H would hear it, but he doesn't listen to Christian music.

HB is right, by listening and allowing God to lead you, has been a blessing and the right thing for you to do. Keep praying for all of us and we will be praying for you!
Blessings!

Hi BFM....glad to hear things are still going well with you and FW. Congratulations for making it this far.

I let my H come home last year...it lasted almost a year, but found out he was still continuing to run around on me so I had to make a decision to just move on with out him. Its been hard, but God is there to help me everyday!

Hey - thanks for the replies.

HB - loved your post. You are so right on about listening to God through my intuition. That describes what I did to a "t".

Jack - I would agree that with most, coming here is not a good idea. I knew it would work for us but I didn't suggest that until reconciliation was a real thing. Even then, I wouldn't suggest it for everyone. On our first go round back together there is no way I would have told H about this place. I knew when it was the right time. For most there will never be a right time.

Sorry I fell off the earth for a few days - my S-8 got walking pneumonia and I haven't even turned on the computer.

I don't have as much time as I used to get on here, read people's situations and post, but will try to help if I feel I can.

Keep trusting in HIM!

BFM

I am keeping my trust in Him!! Your posts have just reconfirmed to me doing just that is what God wants me to do!! I hope your son gets better soon!

Blessings!