Thought I would drop in to give an update.
We had a couple of conference court dates.
Ex is claiming he is making almost 90 thousand dollars less than he was last year.
Basically, that means he is making pennies.
He is over six thousand overdue in support for me since December.
I filed for support collections, but they can only take up to 65 percent of his paycheck at a time.
I have been only recieving less than 200 dollars a week.
That is what I am supposed to feed my kids on and pay the bills such as the mortgage.
I have a feeling I am going to lose my house.
We have a court hearing on May 6 to determine how much of a downward modification he will be getting.
Meanwhile, he lives in a rich neighborhood with his gf.
I am beyond stress. This just doesn't seem right.
I am sorry MissH.
I hope that the courts make him pay what he owes your children.
Is he truely making that much less?
Thanks Jack.
I am sure he got a cut in pay, but how much really, I don't know.
His boss is his uncle.
All he brought to court with him was a (supposed) letter from his uncle claiming he had to cut his pay 90k. He also brought with him his 2008 tax return which showed the salary he was making before the cut. He did not bring his 2009 tax return or any other proof his salary has been cut. The judge ordered him to bring it by the next hearing or his petition will be dismissed. Along with this proof, she wants him to show proof that he has been looking for other employment or a second job to show that he has been looking to make up for the loss of income.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention something.
Ex was not being upfront with his lawyer about a lot of things. My lawyer had to fill him in. You could tell that his lawyer was frustrated with my ex in front of the judge. He didn't know about my ex's side business (which he is now claming he hasn't made money with it in over a year), he didn't know that is uncle was his boss, and when he told ex to make sure I got proof of my health insurance (ex switched companies without telling me and then wouldn't give me my health insurance card) ex didn't give it to me until the morning of court. When my lawyer stated the obvious, "If your client is so broke, then how come he can afford you," lawyers response was that ex's grandfather was paying for him. Nice, how about he pay for his grandchildren's child support instead?
That stinks. Sorry he's being a jerk.
Miss H, LOL This Judge is not buying any of this junk. If you noticed, she wanted his 2009 W-2 and PROOF he was looking for a 2nd job. If he had really gotten a $90,000 pay cut, he would have brought in his W-2. He has nothing here, he sounds like a first class moron. Keep the heat on him, he will screw up!
Not paying child support is a serious thing. Judges are use to all the game playing and manipulating spouses try to do. This reeks of scamming especially since ex works for uncle.
My ex just tried to reduce child support drastically. He also claimed extreme loss of income. It did not work. Once the divorce degree and the amount was decided, judges like to stick to this no matter what. It takes a lot to change this number. A 5 year old can see what he is trying to do. Have faith Miss H, truth and justice are on your side.
I am beyond stress. This just doesn't seem right.
HI mama, I miss ya..
I'm sorry he is being an a$$ again...
It will all work out in the end, which doesn't really help when you are in the thick of it...
Do some research on what you can do to save the home, while all that other mess gets fixed..
It will get fixed.
Come over for a BBQ bring the boys....
Come over for a BBQ bring the boys....
Lissie, Do you live near Miss H?
Miss H, I can't add too much to what everyone else has said but I am rooting for you.
I want t ocome for a BBQ...I will bring the desserts
and
I want the back support that I am owed...
$60,000+ would go a looooooooong way in this economy
Lissie, Do you live near Miss H?
I'm a Jersey Girl.
She's been over,& I don't think I'm that far from her, Pilot.
I don't think I'm that far from her
Nope not that far. Cause I live near her too.
$60,000+ would go a looooooooong way in this economy
Fig, I put your request into the hopper!!
Figgeroni, if you are owed $60,000 is this man in jail? If not, why isn't he?
nope he isn't
because he refuses to work
so they took away his license but they haven't jailed him
I ask
they say there are worse criminals out there (for sure)
and they need to spend their money getting those bad guys instead of hunting him down
Thought I would chime in here since I'm in a similar sitch.
My XH was jailed today for failing to pay support ($14,500). The arrest warrant was a "body attachment" (straight to jail) with a cash bond for the amount of back support.
It came down to this was because he (1) ignored the orders in the divorce decree, (2) ignored my lawyer's two warning letters, and (3) didn't respond to the summons in the allotted time.
And, of yeah, he also lied to the process server when he was issued the summons (tried to pass himself off as his grown son!)
He claims to have no money .. but manages to find the bucks to finance OW's new business and her new car. Well, I just don't feel too sorry for him sitting in jail right now.
If Liss is still reading, she probably remembers my crazy XH and the wild roller coaster ride .. problem is, five years later, the ride ain't over yet!!
Good luck to you, Miss H
Val,
That is justice, good for you for following through with that.
Thanks everyone.
Lissie! Where have you been girl? I've missed ya! I will be sure to stop by sometime this summer.
Regarding this whole support mess, I don't think I can rest easy until I hear something good from the court.
I don't put much faith into the court system these days.
It's just so stressful. I thought I was finally settling in with everything when I closed on my new house. It felt like a whole new start for me. Then the jackass stopped paying me support. For some reason or another, he is determined to see me suffer.
MissH, Maybe he just can't stand the thought that you moved on and are happy.
Ms. H,
I'm very sorry he's still at it. The man can't stand the thought of you being happy and succeeding in life. He's very jealous and envious that you are able to move on w/your life and what he's seeing is that he's supporting you in doing this. He's angry and very, very resentful. He wants you to grovel for every cent and, in his mind, he wants you to suffer. He still thinks in his warped mind that you are the problem and he wants to find a way to get rid of it. Not once has he considered that had he worked w/you on all accounts, he wouldn't be sitting in a court room or having to deal w/lawyers.
If your lawyer needs to, he can subpoena the tax and payroll documents for proof of what the man earns. I do think that he's deliberately hiding his earnings from you and the judicial system, but your lawyer and the judge will get to the bottom of this and very soon. Maybe, for now, the grandfather is assisting in the payment of the lawyer, but I can't help but wonder why the OW isn't helping him with this....
Please take care of yourself....time will take care of this problem.
Miss H, I agree with Snodderly, he is hiding and lying. What he doesn't realize is by lying to the court, he is subject to jail time for contempt and purjury, he best just buck up and man up before he gets in real trouble.
Snodderly and BH,
I agree, I think it's killing him that he was financially supporting my moving on. Sad that he is willing to see the kids suffer at my expense.
I also agree that he is hiding his expenses somehow. As regards to the ow, she was at the last court hearing also. However, she only stuck around for an hour while we were waiting in the waiting room and then disappeared.
If he really is broke, then I am sure she is paying for everything regarding their house.
BH, he definetly lied to the courts, but whether he gets punished for that, remains to be seen. I'll believe it when I see it.
Not sure if I mentioned this, but he lied to the courts in the first hearing by saying he was all caught up with his support payments. Obviously, he wasn't. I still don't have any of to this day.
Miss H, if I understand, you are from New York. If that is the case, the courts might be a little more liberal than in the south where I am from. I have seen people here jailed for the things we are talking about. I still think you can prove he is hiding his income and lying. His 2009 W-2 is the thing. As I said earlier, if that were reflective of a $90,000 pay cut, he would have shown it. He's full of crap. Take Snodderly's advice and supoena his payroll, not only from his job, but his business to. Just keep the pressure on him and he will trip himself up.
MissH
Sorry to see the roller coaster in an infinite loop. Years ago I knew someone doing his xw this way. He was working for his folks in a carpet company ... for cash, no records. They also bought the house he and his new gal moved into while he wasn't helping his x and three sons.
There is justice. He burned down the new house his parents bought with a plumbing torch, accident. His xw found out the hard way that he had not paid income taxes for the years he was married, and the IRS began taking away the house his w kept in the settlement. They said he had no money and she got half the liability for his taxes in her d. She worked a deal to pay up over time, and they deferred snatching the house till the kids were 18. Luckily, she finally settled with IRS and now owns the house. Her shiftless xh never ever held a job that could get garnished. Piece of Sh!t
Anyway, you need to talk to your L about the possibility that your jerk's uncle is helping him hide salary and associated taxes. THAT is a Federal no-no for both of them. I heard the IRS is giving rewards to people reporting tax cheats! Maybe your L has some ideas of how to metion this just right, in court - or have uncle brought in under oath to explain the big pay cut letter ... with an audited set of books!
You've survived some of the craziest there are and you've done great. It may be hard to believe right now but I am sure you will find your way through this also.
(((MissH)))
Amazing.
Ex claims he is so poor that he can't meet his mortgage payments, yet he was able to take the boys out to dinner tonight and stop at the nursery to buy a bunch of plants.
Meanwhile I am left wondering how I am going to make my mortgage payment.
Miss H, Document everything he does with the boys, it will help your case.
I'm sure you have already, but you should communicate with your mortgage company even now.
By the way, there are some new mortgage modification programs out there that apparently are pretty good. Looks like Deb is going to be able to take advantage of one on her house mortgage. Regardless, from my experience, your mortgage company is much easier to work with and much more flexible if you keep them fully informed of any potential problems you might be having.
This site and the many stories here have taught me that it's not at all unusual for things I never thought possible to actually happen. I can't imagine your ex getting away with such a blatant manipulation in court, but stay diligent.
Just don't allow this to toss you into a funk reminiscent of our early days on this board. Our ex's no longer deserve the power of being able to do such a thing with their shenanigans.
It'll work out MissH.
Blessings,
Bill
Jeesh Miss H I hope you keep your L on top of things so the judge can see what a slimeball JA is! Document, document and document some more. A real pain as you should be free of this crap already, You and Your L just have to let the judge see what an idiot you all are dealing with
Life's a b*tch....at least for ex that is.
Court hearing today.
He got his arse handed to him on a platter.
Judge saw into all his BS.
He was lying so much in court that he was getting confused.
We didn't get an answer today whether or not he will get his downward modification as there wasn't enough time to finish up. I have to go back June 9.
Judge told ex to figure out which one of the 2 tales he plans on going with before he appears before her again.
She said, "your side isn't looking so good."
I am pretty sure she thinks he is an idiot.
She was yelling at him and his lawyer. She made them both look like idiots.
She said to him, "Where are your hardships, because so far the only ones I see suffering are your ex-wife and kids."
His side had went first. Lawyer asked him questions for an hour. The judge got so frustrated as things weren't getting anywhere that she took over the questions.
She caught him in so many lies. One minute he would testify one thing, the next, a whole different story.
He made it sound like he owned his house by himself while his lawyer questioned him.
Then when my lawyer cross examined, he got him to admit that his gf owned half the house.
Turns out his gf hasn't been working because she is a full time student.
He said he has been supporting her and paying the bills.
Then in another story, he claims ow's parents have been paying their mortgage for the last 5 months.
I was pissed when I found out he said he was supporting ow. The judge was too. She said, "So you are supporting her while you ignore your financial obligations to your ex wife and kids."
Boy was she mad.
I thought at one point she was going to throw him in jail for lying in court.
He went in there trying to play the victim, but she wasn't buying that at all.
I had to bite my lip the whole time so I wouldn't laugh. Judge was mocking him a lot.
Miss H, Wow! What awesome news!! It definitely sounds like things are going in your favor! So happy for you! Guess your ex isn't as smart as he thought he is. It's always funny when they can't keep their lies straight.
Wishing you the best!!
Miss H, I knew all along he was full of it. He is one of these kind of people that think they can just go into court and say anything and they will believe it. If I were you, I would sock it to him HARD! Ask for an increase, ask for the moon! I would guarantee you will get it! When its over, send him a message that if he tries it again, you will ask for another raise! Do that once and you won't hear back from him again!
Finally, some good news for you. Just wait until he has to appear again, I don't think this judge is going to give him any wiggle room.
Sounds like a major reality check.
Go girl. You were right to take him back to court and finally the system is working in your favour. Brilliant.
very very pleased for you.
Take care, V
So was he made to pay you anything now or do you have to wait until June? Glad to hear the judge si a smart cookie. Nice to see him squirm after all of his lying.
kat
I also find it interesting that the girlfriend is a FT student and he is paying the bills. What a very nice arrangement for her.
Do these guys not SEE this?
Thanks everybody!
I still can't believe that he is supporting his bimbo while the kids and I have been going without for the last 6 months.
So disgusting.
There is no reason in the first place they need a 4 bedroom house, on an acre piece of property, in a rich neighborhood.
My mortgage should come first as I am housing the children. I hope the judge sees it that way too.
I also found out that the money that my [arents has been giving me to live on and attorney fees has really been coming from my aunt (Dad's sister). I was shocked when my Dad told me that. My Aunt is by no means well off. Turns out my Aunt didn't want me to know she was paying for it. My parents have no money.
Ex should be ashamed of himself that other people are supporting his obligations.
Miss H, these people see no shame nor wrong in anything they do. In their minds, they are entitled to whatever they want and they have no responsibilities. I would drop the hammer on him hard and ask for an increase in support, have no sympathy and take all you can! What does your attorney say about asking for an increase? He really tipped his hand when he said the OW is a full time student, he just admitted he was paying for everything, therefore, he couldn't have taken a cut in pay.
BH, from my understanding, since I started getting my support payments through Child Support Services, they automatically increase it every now and then. That's as long as he doesn't get approved for his downward modification, which my lawyer doesn't think he has a shot in hell at getting.
So now after ex sends me a text message yesterday stating he can't stand all the hate and we need to call a truce, he is now refusing to bring the boys home tonight for Mother's Day tomorrow. Although this was not written in the divorce agreement, we had a mutual agreement over the last couple of years that I would have them for Mother's Day, and he would have them for Father's day.
He's claiming that because my father wouldn't let him in my house the other day when he came to pick the boys up, that all has gone out the window.
So if he doesn't bring them home, I will be sure to screw him over on Father's day.
Miss H, that is just the way to play it! Document it all and when he wants something, tell him this is the way he wanted it! Truce my foot! He is thinking he might get you to back off! I would turn the heat up even more, that is all these people understand, you can't reason with them.
Miss H, one more thing, your lawyer is right, he has no chance to get this reduced, in fact, he will be lucky if he isn't jailed for lying.
Oh what a jerk! Our standard custody agreement states that I get Mother's Day weekend and he gets Father's Day weekend.
If he doesn't work with you I sure would NOT do him any favors either. Keep fighting for what you deserve.
I disagree. I think you have to take the high road and document that you are doing so. Otherwise, you are hurting yourself if this goes to court.
I am in the process of petitioning my ex to have mediation on a couple of issues. He played a similar game on Easter. He sent me an email on the Saturday before Easter informing me that he would not return the kids at the time we agreed because he was mad I supposedly didn't pack enough clothes for them over his spring break with them. (How do these idiots think they can ignore our visition agreements because of unrelated issues?!)
Anyway, I have his emails which show he agreed to a certain day and time and then did not follow it to "punish me". I am using this evidence to force mediation to explicitly specify exact times for each holiday. I have email showing that I have been more than generous allowing extra visitation times which makes me look good. If I was retaliating by not allowing visitation for him on some other day, I would look petty and would ruin my case.
I am also petitioning for mediation regarding my daughter's braces. He refuses to grant permission because he claims they are cosmetic and as he said in an email I "am too free spending" his money. He claims our daughter should wait for braces until she is an adult, when coincidentally he wouldn't have to pay. These emails along with letters from the dentist and orthodontist are going to be used to force mediation and probably the judge will eventually rule that she can get them and he has to pay. His little games make him look so immature that he will probably lose in court. Because the decree said he has to pay orthodontia costs, he is playing this little game and it is so frustrating. In this case, I don't even want his money; I just want a way to get my daughter braces.
MissH, my ex took me to court to get child support lowered right away too. He lost his job and got a much lower paying job and lied on his financial disclosures. The judge wouldn't hear my evidence that he had plenty of money to spend on frivolous items, was purposely underemployed, and could pay the support. He would only consider his new income level because of how bad the economy is. I understand how hard it is to move on when these little games they play suck us back in. We have to detach and not let it emotionally affect it the way it does.
MissH
remember that it is the kids you need to focus on
he wants to play games then let him
don't punish the kids to settle a score
the economy sucks right now
are there some jobs that you could do to help suppliment your income?
I know not getting support sucks (I am owed over $60,000 and counting) but it feels good to know that I can make it on my own. It isn't easy but it is do-able. Right now, I am working full-time, going to grad school full-time (online) and have an almost 1 year old. We are capable of a lot more than we think we are, we just need to put our minds to it