Went to family court yesterday over ex not paying his support payments.
He showed up with his bimbo and a new lawyer.
Claiming he is up-to-date on all his payments. BS.
Claiming his salary has been cut in half. BS
So now we have to have a hearing on May 6 about getting my support payments drastically reduced.
He is supposed to be covering my health insurance too but I found out after visting my doctor this week for ear infections, I was no longer covered under our insurance.
Ex claimed we switched back to the other health insurance but we did not get cards yet. He never told me any of this.
The pharmacist where I was getting my antibiotics from called up the insurance company he was claiming we had and they said I am not covered under them.
The only good thing that came out of court yesterday was the judge ordered my support payments come from support collections starting in April.
The rest of it I feel like she is siding with ex's bs.
Probably because he came with a lawyer, I didn't.
So now I will be retaining my lawyer again.
Ex is claiming he is so broke so how come he can afford a lawyer?
I was surprised he brought bimbo along with him. She couldn't even look in my direction. She knows what she has done.
She looked p!ssed too. P!ssed that I had to bring her wonderful boyfriend to court and not let him get away with murder.
But murder seems to be what he gets away with.
When the divorce was final I thought all the bs was done with. I thought I could finally close this chapter in my life and move on.
Now it feels like I am going through this all over again by being back in court hearings.
If ex gets his way, I may not be able to afford my new house anymore. The kids and I will be out on the street while he gets to live in the lap of luxury with the ow.
I will have to drop out of school and get a job to make up for the loss income.
I am having a hard time dealing with the stress. When I get stressed out my whole body hurts from my head to my toes. I have a migraine from all of this and I can't concentrate on my school work.
I feel like I am falling into a depression again.
Is this how my life is going to be from now on? What kind of life is this? I just can't deal with the bs anymore.
I just keep getting the rug pulled out from under me.
Thanks for listening.
I am so sorry to come here this evening and read your posting. The only good thing is that your payments will be coming to you for another source and not from him directly. I honestly do not know what is going on with the court systems in this country. Laughing is having issues w/her xh and he's been gone for years.
I will keep you and your children in my thoughts and prayers. BTW, how is your father doing?
They will have to look at his financials again. I am glad you have a lawyer. My ex takes me back and forth to court trying to reduce child support. He lost last month because his tax returns showed he was actually making more money. They are so hideous during this time. Life is all about winning and you are the enemy he has to torture. Do you think your ex is actually making less money or is this a ploy?
I'm so sorry MissH, I find that I get stressed the most about finances these days. It's the uncertainty that we are faced with and knowing that it's only up to us to provide if the WH pulls the rug from under us.
And for a single mom it's very stressful almost overwhelming. If it was just me to worry about it would be easier, but when you have kids and you want to maintain some kind of standard of living for them it's beyond stressful.
My WH is in business with me but he is neglecting his work since he started with the OW and I really worry that our business won't survive. When I get like that, I go into a anxiety/panic attack. It's the worse feeling. I've been better lately, I just tell my self "one day at the time" "I will cross that bridge when I get to it". "I can do this alone, I'm smart and hard working. It'll take a while but I'll be OK."
Keep your chin up you will get through it. (((hugs)))
MissH
One of the best things that happened is that your support will be coming through collection.
Once my xh started lowering his payments to me on his own, the Court immediately set this program up. It saves you a lot of headaches down the road. It also is nice to have it all set up for when the final decision is made on the amount.
Don't be too quick to believe that they're siding with your H. Lots of times I think they use a lot of reverse psychology just to get people to comfortable with themselves, and then they wait and watch the person slip up when they think they aren't being watched/held accountable anymore.
Regardless, I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Ex or not he is simply a JA. Man that idiot just wont give up. Yes get a lawyer. Do forensic study of his worth. DIG DEEP! Hes trying to screw you over just for being you and he doesnt care if the kids take a hit in the process.
Im sooo sorry you have to go thru all of this. But go after him to pay your legal fees to boot as you will have to retain your attourney because he wont pay his child support. Sounds fair to me! 
MissH sorry things are going so badly. I agree with Snodderly that at least you should start getting something from a third party. Hopefully that will be more reliable.
On the bright side a least the "State of Emergency" for Orange county has been lifted and the snow is starting to melt.
Hang in there.
Dear MissH !!!!
I am so sorry.....it seems you are truly stuck in this never ending battle and I can so understand you wanting OUT !!!
I keep you always in my prayers and hope that one day...soon...the sun will shine brightly for you, cause you deserve so much better !!!!
As I have done so often in the past....here's my
song for you !!
Love yah xxxx
Miss H, I think you are in better shape than you think. The Judge ordered your support payments come from State collections, which means you will get your money and he must repay the State. If he doesn't, he goes to jail. As far as his salary being cut in half, secure his W-2's from last year. What kind of work does he do? Unless he owns his own business or works on commission, it will be very hard to convince a Judge his wages are cut in half. Secure an asset report from him, get titles to cars, property, etc. Also get banking records, stock holdings, all of those are considered assets and are liable for collections. Don't be fooled by the Judge, they are very wise to all the tricks to child support evasion and are not very tolerant of those practices. Its a little bit of leg work on your part, but it can pay off. One final tip, counter claim for an INCREASE in child support!! All they can do is say no and if you win, you will not hear from him again!!!
Thanks everyone for your support.
BH, ex is a dental lab technician and works full time for his uncle, as well as owning his own lab business.
I have no doubt he is hiding money since he works for his uncle.
We will probably have to sudbpoena his uncle.
As for counter claiming, that might not be a bad idea. My brother thinks I should do the same. I will ask my lawyer about that.
Ex is still missing 3 support payments since December.
Today I finally got a check in the mail from him. It was for 50 dollars. Whoop-dee-doo. When he dropped the kids home (45 minutes late) I asked him what the 50 dollar check was for. He said that was all he had to give me.
Give me a break.
If I lose my house that I just brought I will be p!ssed beyond belief.
Why should the children and I have to go without a house while he gets to live in one in richville?
It's not my problem he brought a house and spent a lot of money fixing it up and brought a fancy truck since the divorce was final.
If he can't meet his financial obligations anymore then he should have to go without, not the boys and I.
He can go get a second job or have ow pay for the difference.
And he is such a liar. He told the judge he was all caught up with his payments. In the meantime, money is tight for me.
Well, thanks for listening to me vent.
Miss H, the big new house and truck he bought are all assets! LOL He doesn't stand a chance. The judge will ask him how he can afford those things on half a salary. Subpeona the Uncle, pull his W-2's, and raise the stakes by asking for more support. My philosophy is, keep hitting until they stop hitting back! Bust him right in the chops!!!
The last time ex took me to court to do the same thing, I hit him hard. Analyzed his financials and exposed the amount of money he was making. I agree with braveheart, the harder you come down on him the more likely he will leave you alone. I did not talk to him during this process and had no eye contact with him in court. I also took my father to the proceedings and he did the same thing. Ex could not understand why everyone was "so mean to him". I have not heard from him since and it is a blessing.
Thanks BH and Trusting,
The family court judge's clerk actually called me today.
He wanted to know if I recieved all the payments yet.
I told him no and told him about only recieving 50 dollars as a support payment.
He said that the judge is very concerned I haven't received the payments so he had just left a message for ex's lawyer advising him to read his client the riot act and get those payments to me immediately or else he will appear before the judge next week in court.
I thanked the clerk and told him I appreciated it.
He said, "Your welcome, I just wanted to let you know we are taking care of it and not ignoring your situation".
Wow, could we be getting somewhere?
Keep your fingers crossed.
That sounds VERY positive! You must be feeling MUCH better about your prospects.
I am going to forward your thread to a friend whose sister is in a similar predicament. It is mind-boggling how many guys pull this crap.
I hope the dirt-bag has to sell his truck.
Miss H, you are very much in the driver's seat, don't let him or his B.S. get you all messed up, get your ducks in a row and bust his chops! Please ask for an increase!! Don't have any pity or mercy for him! He started it, you finish it!!
Thanks everyone!
Andabelle, I hope it's him that will have to sell things and not me!
BH, don't worry, I no longer have any pity on him. I am no longer in love with him so I don't worry about what he thinks about me. It's such a great feeling to be able to do something and not care what he thinks. And if that makes me out to be a B*tch to some, too damn bad!
My dear you are far from a bitch. You are protecting your children, that is what us mommy's do. When you come to the point of not caring what he thinks, you will see a change in his behaviors.
Ms. H,
Why would you even care what he thinks of you? Look at how he has behaved and treated you throughout all of this. You've been a very classy lady and I would step right on the train and say that you are far, far from being a xitch.
Don't give another thought to what he thinks...he's the one that has to look in the mirror and figure things out.
Beautiful, Intelligent, Talented, Caring, and Honorable....
I can hear that word all day, and will take no offense to it what so ever!
His words are threatening because he feels guilt.
Stand up for you and your children. Show him how beautiful, intelligent, talented, caring and honorable you are.
Thanks Trusting, Snodderly, and BT.
I had an appointment at the lawyer's office the other day to go over financials. While I was there, my lawyer asked me to TM my ex and ask him to bring proof with him that we have health insurance when he comes to get the boys on Wednesday (yesterday).
He didn't respond.
So a half hour later I retexted him the same message. He TM back, "Let me be!"
My lawyer said, "let him tell the judge that."
So when he dropped the boys home yesterday (an hour late), he gave me insurance cards, but only for the boys.
I asked him where mine was and of course the coward he is, walked away to his car and said "There is something in the documents that say I don't have to pay your insurance".
So this morning I let my lawyer know what he had said. I also told my lawyer that when asked by the magistrate if he was covering my health insurance his response was, "yes".
So my lawyer faxed ex's attorney stating what he said to me and what he said to the court regarding my insurance. Basically pointing out that he lied in court. My lawyer also advised his lawyer to reinstate me and that as long as I am not covered by health insurance, ex will be responsible for any medical bills incurred during this time.
My lawyer then heard back from family court and they said that ex asked for a hearing so he doesn't have to cover me anymore.
My lawyer said that the only stipulation in the divorce papers regarding health insurance is that 1) I have to be a full-time student and 2) I had to explore options that the school might have.
I have done both. Ex didn't seem to have a problem in covering me for the first year.
He also can't just drop me because he thinks he can. Anything like this is supposed to be heard in front of a court first.
Ex thinks he makes his own laws.
I have also still not recieved the money that owes me.
He is a piece of work.
So now the newest court date is April 15th. Wish me luck!
Miss H, you won't need luck, he will. The Judge will not be kind to him for lying in court. What did your attorney say about asking for an increase in child support? I would let him have it with both barrels! He is beaten and he knows it!
B/H have a ? for you sorry for the hijack MissH......my husband finally went to c/s court not even in front of a judge all he had to do was sign some papers TELLING him how much to pay.....no court appearence no judge......and the funny thing he seems happy with it......he got himself a JOB now, roofing.......he is 48 working on a roof??? He is no spring chicken anymore I wonder how long that is going to last.......what is his way of thinking about C/S why could he just not send money every month....seems relieved there is a court ordered C/S any ideas???
IRMA, I have no idea why his is thinking like that! LOL Personally, I think he is an idiot, but most of these people are. If he's happy on top of a roof, more power to him! LOL I know this, people like him will shovel horse manure before they admit they have done wrong.