Hi - I was just wondering does anyone know if a MLC H (who has a girlfriend) could get jealous if they think their w is seeing someone. I mean my H and I are going through a D and he has an older girlfriend is it possible for him to get jealous if he thinks I'm dating someone? Also do they ever notice if their W looks hot? I've been really trying to look really good in front of him (for a while after our 4 year old s was born I just didn't have time ti look good). Anyway those are my 2 questions any input would be great. Thank you!
When my ex was in the replay stage, he thought I was dating someone. He was over at the house one day and said, "If you are dating anyone you can totally forget about us". He had been seeing OW for about a year when he said that. He meant what he said. In their irrational mind, even though they are living adulterous lifes, they do not expect you to. It did not make my ex jealous, it made him angry and more willing to move on.
Now my ex is clearly in the depression/withdrawal stage. I THINK if he thought I was dating someone, he might become jealous. However, he does not think I am dating. I have toyed with the idea of making him jealous, but I want my ex to come back not out of jealousy, but because he really really believes in us.
I feel their thinking is different in different stages.
As far as looking hot. Yes, I believe they notice. Their reaction to "looking hot" varies also depending upon where they are in their MLC journey. Looking good also effects how YOU feel about yourself. This I believe has more effect on your H.
Thanks trusting! you are right I want H to come back because he loves me not because he's jealous. I think my H is also in the depression/withdrawal stage but I'm not sure. He has been spending more time at home but I think it's just to spend time with our 4 year old s which is great because for 1 1/2years he has not spend any time with our s. We are in the process of the D but I'm still hoping he comes back to me.
Hi everyone - I would love to get some thoughts on something. Ok my H andI are going through a divorce and there is ow. Anyway for the past year and 1/2 my H hasn't been very friendly to me and basically acted like he didn't even know me like he just met me or something and also for the last year and a 1/2 he has not been a good father at all. About 2 months ago I had to talk to my H about how upset our 4 year old s has been because he never sees his daddy and his daddy never plays with him. Ok now also a mutual friend also mentioned to my H how he hasn't been acting like a good father (before his mlc he was the best dad). Now for the past 2 months (since our friend talked to H) my H has been acting like the best father he's been taking our S to amusement parks and water parks and playing with him a lot even staying up really late to play with our s. My H also gave me a gift but he said that our s made him buy it and my H has called me by my name something he has not done in a year and 1/2. Yesterday my H took our s to a water park and he called me while they were driving there we talked the whole drive (about 1/2 hour) we were having a great conversation (at least I thought so) and then when they arrived at the park my H said "ok we're here so we'll call you later" I said ok bye and I think H said "I love you bye". At least I think he said that now it doesn't seem clear anymore but at the time I thought I heard him clearly. If I did hear him correctly I'm sure he just forgot who he was talking to but it just seems like because we've been having fun and talking and sometimes he seems like his old self before mlc. Well I would love to hear any thought that anyone might have.
Very sad I don't know, but it sounds like your h is feeling good talkin to you and he could have easily slipped it out. Doesn't mean he doesn't still love you either. Even if he doesn't say it.
Oh don't know about you, but what 4 yr old makes a dad buy a gift. Wink Wink!
My h too has recently been calling me darling, babe and in front of others.
Keep the positives coming!
I can only say what I would do if I were in your shoes (of course, as a man, your shoes should neither fit me or be on my feet at all, lol), I would keep doing what is working.
I am a person who believes if someone truly loved another person, they don't stop loving them. They can allow circumstances or negative emotions cloud their "feelings" but real love goes deeper than a feeling of lust or other base emotions.
I would say appreciate it for what it is. And have a great weekend!