4 years on...greetings and update.

Ooooh, so many names I no longer recognise

...

For anyone who remembers me, this is Mea. I survived!! And all newbies to DB will too!! My Ex H was one of the worst on here (well, HE wasnt on here, I was, but you know what I mean..lol) If I can survive, and be happy (and I am happy) then so can anyone.

For those who dont know my story, all references to my Ex will now be "CD" (It stands for CHIPDICK, as oldies here will know

) and the OW is known as the Spook.

Im a little (ok, a lot) hungover today, I celebrated my 50th birthday last night at a Tequila Bar, and drunk far too many tequila shots, so bare with me, Im having trouble working my head!

CD update first, then MEA update.

CD has sporadically stayed in touch through e.mail...sometimes once a week, sometimes I dont hear from him for months (he never contacts the kids..says its "too raw and painfull for him, still"...poor baby. $\:\/$ The kids dont even care now, they have no respect for him and have moved on, as I have.

CD and the spook are now arch enemies. I think the fact that she tried to run him over kind of was the nail in the coffin of this big romance. The nail in the coffin of MY relationship with the spook, was when she MISSED! I couldve given her driving lessons, had she asked

Anyway, CD and the spook only lasted a short while...shes done the same to 3 other marriages since then, he lasts boyfriend ended up in hospital cos she stabbed him with fork!! CD was then alone for a few years, then met someone else, had a one night stand, got her pregnant and is now the Father of a 6 month old baby boy. He sees the child, but isnt with the Mother, and has no intention of being with her. I feel sorry for that little baby $\:\($ knowing CD like I do, he will end up rarely seeing him.

The life he wanted (freedom .no ties money, fast cars, faster women, man-about-town)is so far removed from the live he has now, He is skint all the time because although he earns good money, he is now lumbered with a hefty mortgage that he can barely afford, a child to support, and owes the bank thousands. Hardly a "playboy" lifestyle! He also has a heart condition. He doesnt have one! (sorry couldnt resist that..he does have a heart condition though) and has aged 10 years. (I on the other hand, am always told Ive never looked better!

)

This last few months, his e.mails have changed. They were always short, abrupt, but they began to get longer and more personal. Then more melocholy, wistfull. The e.mail I got from him yesterday was quite a surprise though. He ADMITTED his life is miserable, he admitted he had been horrible in his treatment of me, and said there wouldnt be enough hours in the day to list all the terrible things he did, that when he thinks of what he put me through, he feels ashamed to be alive.

He asks "what was wrong with me, Mea? Why did I ruin everything? Why was I too blind to see that I already had the best woman I could ever hope to meet..I deserve to be this miserable forever, its all my fault, you never did anything wrong. I was an idiot. You were the love of my life. I would cut my right arm off to turn back the clock, still be married, I would cherise you like you always deserved to be cherished. I blew it. You will never know how gutted I am, and how sorry. Its too late now though, isnt it?"
And this from a man who NEVER apologised, NEVER took any responsibility for his actions, and always blamed everyone else for his problems. He wished me well with my new guy (a few dates, thats all, its over now, but it helped me realise that I could be with someone else) but said he would never accept it, that the thought of me with someone else breaks his heart (welcome to the club CD! Not a nice feeling is it?) and that he cant "let go"..as far as he,s concerned, Im still his wife and always will be! (Maybe he doesnt get the concept of Divorce!!haha). He wants to meet me for a drink and a talk...I said No. Then he started begging. "Just one drink, I NEED to see you. PLEASE!!" Oh how the tables have turned!!

Its been a long time coming, but I think he,s out of that tunnel, too late though!

As for me, Im great! Im not with anyone right now, but I have gone out on some dates lately, was seeing someone for a few weeks and had a great laugh..(and learned that I could have "relations" with another man, after all ;)..after being married for 20 years, and totally faithfull, I thought Id never be able to be intimate with another man again, ever...but 3 weeks ago I took the plunge, enjoyed it

, and even though I ended it with him a few days later (he was a bit full-on, a bit of a stalker come the end,) it did me good!

I now have a "friend" :)..we are just mates but do a lot of stuff together, and LAUGH all the time. He,s a bit of a stunner $;\)$ lol, but we,re just mates...for now

Ive just turned 50!! Lastnight the kids arranged a surprise night-out for me. At 8pm, when I thought the taxi was picking me up, I answered the door and there was a huge LIMO!!! I couldnt believe it!! The windows were black so I didnt know who was inside, but when I opened the door, 12 of my closest friends were in there drinking Champaigne!!! It was a great night! All thanks to my kids (my daughter is 100% well now, and bloody stunning!! Those who know me will understand.)

So. my life is happy..Im having fun.

CDs life is full of debt, mortgage payments, a baby and all the expense that goes with it, his looks have been affected, his dark hair is almost all grey, he is over-weight, aged 44 and definately not the party playboy he wanted to be. Are we all crying yet??? $\:D$

Karma, people $;\)$

No matter how hopeless things seem to you right now....one way or another, either by reconciliation with your MLCer, or by survivng and realising there IS life after MLC...YOU WILL BE HAPPY AGAIN. If I can, so can you.

Good luck to you all. xxx MEA XXX

Ive just turned 50!! Lastnight the kids arranged a surprise night-out for me. At 8pm, when I thought the taxi was picking me up, I answered the door and there was a huge LIMO!!! I couldnt believe it!! The windows were black so I didnt know who was inside, but when I opened the door, 12 of my closest friends were in there drinking Champaigne!!! It was a great night! All thanks to my kids (my daughter is 100% well now, and bloody stunning!! Those who know me will understand.)

So. my life is happy..Im having fun.

Happy Birthday!!! You deserve to be happy!!!
Stick around!

Originally Posted By: sgctxok

Ive just turned 50!! Lastnight the kids arranged a surprise night-out for me. At 8pm, when I thought the taxi was picking me up, I answered the door and there was a huge LIMO!!! I couldnt believe it!! The windows were black so I didnt know who was inside, but when I opened the door, 12 of my closest friends were in there drinking Champaigne!!! It was a great night! All thanks to my kids (my daughter is 100% well now, and bloody stunning!! Those who know me will understand.)

So. my life is happy..Im having fun.

Happy Birthday!!! You deserve to be happy!!!
Stick around!

Thanks. I will $\:D$

Wow mea, I love your story.

When were you here and how long did it take for you to become the mea you are today?

You say 4 years but is that 4 years after or from beginning until now?

How old are the kids? and how many?

Great to see that ther is life after MLC

E

Happy Birthday (been there,done that 50) its the best!

Thanks for the update. Good for you!

Originally Posted By: enlightenbylife

Wow mea, I love your story.

When were you here and how long did it take for you to become the mea you are today?

You say 4 years but is that 4 years after or from beginning until now?

How old are the kids? and how many?

Great to see that ther is life after MLC

E

Hi E $\:\)$

I wasnt very clear, sorry..its been 4 years since my ex left. 4 years (probably 4 and a half actually..I dont even remember the date he left now..

) ago I thought Id die, but I DIDNT, and Im as happy now, maybe happier, than Ive ever been!

I DBd for around a year, I think. He came home after 9 months, but left again a week later, I think I half-heartedly DBd a bit more, maybe a few weeks, then got sick of excusing his bad behaviour. He also has Narcissistic Personality Disorder I believe, and it came out very strongly in that time, he was DISGUSTING to me, pushed me to the edge whenever he could. A lot of MLCers are horrible to thier LBS, but mine was in a league of his own, honestly!

The kids arnt kids as such..one is now 22, the other 27, but both needed him badly at that time...my youngest has special needs and quite severe learning disabilities, and my eldest was very very ill at the time and almost died. Both are happy and well now, although obviously my youngest will always have special needs.

It was a heartbreaking time for all of us, made worse by the fact that the Spook (the then-OW) was a total nutter who stalked us, threatened us, and generally tortured us.

We were also witnesses to a Murder outside of our home a few weeks after CD left, and the courtcase hung over us all like a black cloud, and the Spook was involved in sending anonymous letters to us about the case, which was scary as it involved local drug dealers, she used it to scare us at every chance she could.

There was also our courtcase (very long and complicated, it involved the Home I grew up in as a kid, and which my Mother owned..she signed it over to me, and my Ex "stole" it, basically. That course case went ahead 2 years ago, I lost, and it almost killed my Mother...BUT, like I keep saying, we all survived. A few scars, a bit battered and bruised, but alive and enjoying life!!

If I can do that, anyone can $\:D$ (and I was the worst DBer here, lol, Im a very emotional person, very impulsive, and DBing was SO hard for me to get right! I never quite mastered it (dont know if Snodderly still posts here, but she,ll agree, Im sure!! haha)

MEA X

Originally Posted By: short1

Happy Birthday (been there,done that 50) its the best!

Thanks for the update. Good for you!

Thanks...50 is the new 40!!!

I know life begins at 40, but Im always later for everything!!

Wow, you really have made lemonade out of lemons!

Great for you,Mea $\:\)$

One more question....What feelings did did you have that let you know that it was the end...that you just couldn't do it anymore?

Was it just an accumulation,which it seems that you had more than your share of , or just a "final" feeling?

E

mea, I do remember your story ( I posted on the SSM as inherjourney, but I lurked on MLC all the time, trying to put the pieces together in my marriage). I am soooo happy to read not just a survival story, but that you are thriving. Thank you for taking the time to come back here and update. And HB!

I think, bit by bit, my resolve was chipped away at, but there were a few "lightbulb" moments that led to the BIG lightbulb flash!
At the time, he was living across the road from me, and next door to my Mum, bold as brass, in my childhood home that had been renovated for US to live in (its complicated, there are many threads here somewhere about it all though)and was very "in my face" 24 hours a day. I do have a bit of a fiery temper

(any oldies on here will remember the hacksaw incident..haha) and one evening Id had enough of him flaunting himself in MY house, and I went over. A big argument happened that ended up with him pushing me down a flight of concrete steps, and that was the beginning of the end of DBing for me.

Then our day "in court", that was terrible...my poor Mum had to testify and was ripped to shreds by his Barrister, so much so that both CD and me tried to stop the Barrister. My Mum was in her late seventies and not in good health, and it broke my heart to see her going through that. I remember looking at CD and thinking "You REALLY are a wanker arnt you!" (scuse my language,

)

But the BIG lightbulb flashed when he asked me to take him back, believe it or not! He was crying, begging me to forgive everything he,d done to us all, and all I felt was pity. Pity that he,d blown everything, I felt sorry for him, felt no anger (for a change)just sad. And when I told him "Im sorry, but its too late, I dont love you in that way anymore", I suddenly realised it wasnt just words, and that I meant it!

I dont feel any anger for him now, even after all he,s done, but I do feel sad sometimes, for him, not for me, and for the kids. I dont hate him. But I do still sometimes get moments when I smile to myself at how his life is now, sometimes its good to have a chuckle at Karma

I think the key to knowing that you are really over someone, is when you pretty much feel indifferent to them. If you hate them, you still have too many feelings for them, I think.

Honestly, this man almost destroyed me, and had the power to hurt me with even tiny things, but when I found out (not long ago) that he had had a baby, all I felt was mild annoyance that he hadnt told the kids himself, they had to find out by accident (and he was here a few days before and said nothing! A coward to the last.)

So I think we get chipped away at, over and over, and although its painfull, its gradually setting us up for our big lightbulb moment, and when that finally comes, sometimes its as much of a shock to us as it is to the MLCer.

He still asks me to take him back sometimes, but I think its only now, in this last few months, that its hit him. He,s certainly different.

On my birthday he sent me an e.mail wishing me a happy day, saying if ever anyone deserves happiness its me and that I,ll always be special to him. Then he asked me where I was going to celebrate, because if I was going to our local nightclub, he would go there, he,d love to see me and buy me a few birthday drinks. So I told him yes, I was going there. I wasnt, and had no intention of going there, but I knew he,d then spend half the night watching the door or looking out for me $;\)$ (which he did) so even though I dont wish any ill on him, like I said its still amusing sometimes to have a bit of fun with Karma

Originally Posted By: RealJourney

mea, I do remember your story ( I posted on the SSM as inherjourney, but I lurked on MLC all the time, trying to put the pieces together in my marriage). I am soooo happy to read not just a survival story, but that you are thriving. Thank you for taking the time to come back here and update. And HB!

Yes! I remember!! $\:D$

I hope your well?

Im survivng and thriving, ducking and diving!! haha

Yes, I am doing fine!!!

You know the reason why my H didn't want to have sex with me ???
1. He wanted to work on our emotional connection
2. He was suffering from some serious medical illness
3. He was having an affair

Hmmmm, I wonder who here can answer this one????

Originally Posted By: RealJourney

Yes, I am doing fine!!!

You know the reason why my H didn't want to have sex with me ???
1. He wanted to work on our emotional connection
2. He was suffering from some serious medical illness
3. He was having an affair

Hmmmm, I wonder who here can answer this one????

Maybe all three? $;\)$

He was having an affair, and because he was too busy being "emotional" with another woman, he failed to make the "connection" between that and the itchy rash he suddenly had, because she had given him a "medical condition"! $\:D$

Im glad your fine, life does go on, and get better, even though in the beginning it seems we,ll never get there. $\:\)$

You sound Mahhhhhhvelous!!!!!
I have missed your postings, they really used to make me laugh.

I am so happy for you!!!

((((((Faith))))))

LOL, Mea. The #1 thing I have learned is that as much as I wanted to understand my H and restore the marriage, I had to prevent myself from getting sucked into his drama. It is an amazing feeling to know you can get through the awful parts of life without compromising your integrity. There is no substitute, and I do feel compassion for MLCers because they are so busy trying to escape on some level, that they are blinded to this simple truth.

Life is good!!!

Originally Posted By: brandnewday

You sound Mahhhhhhvelous!!!!!
I have missed your postings, they really used to make me laugh.

I am so happy for you!!!

((((((Faith))))))

Faith!!! How are you? $\:D$ (I love your new name)

Mahhhhhhhvelous!!!

Thanks for being happy for me, I got there in the end, didnt I?

I know I was one of the worst DBers ever, I was never any good at being serene and patient, haha, but I did it my way, as Frank Sinatra said. And I guess some newer members would think "well, she didnt save her marriage, so shes not a success story", but you know what? I do FEEL Im a success story. Im happy, I have a fun life, and the respect of my kids. I enjoy my life. I still have my gorgeous dogs, Im fitter than Ive been for years, and, the best thing of all, my eldest Daughter is well, and alive, and fully recovered. Now THAT is a success story!! $\:\)$

mea xx

Originally Posted By: RealJourney

LOL, Mea. The #1 thing I have learned is that as much as I wanted to understand my H and restore the marriage, I had to prevent myself from getting sucked into his drama. It is an amazing feeling to know you can get through the awful parts of life without compromising your integrity. There is no substitute, and I do feel compassion for MLCers because they are so busy trying to escape on some level, that they are blinded to this simple truth.

Life is good!!!

Amen to that!!! Theres nothing I can add to that, it says it all! $\:\)$

I posted this a few years ago, but itr might still come in handy for some?

;)Just insert your chosen name into the blanks!!

DUMP A MAN FORM
Dear _______________,
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut.
I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening come available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavours, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition: (Check those that apply)
1. ___Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.

2. ___Your first name is objectionable. It's just not something I can picture myself yelling out in a fit of passion.

3. ___The fact that our first dining experience to date has left MY wallet a little lighter, and YOUR pants a little tighter!

4. ___Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.

5. ___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.
6. ___Your constant emailing, shows me you have TOO much time on your hands!
7. ___Your legs are skinnier than mine. If you can FIT into my pants, then you can't GET into my pants.
8. ___You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be beaten up repeatedly at recess.
9. ___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck condition from trying to kiss you.
10. ___You have a hairy back.
11. ___I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.
12. ___The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.
13. ___The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.
14. ___You still live with your parents.
15. ___Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Star Trek uniforms a little disconcerting.
16. ___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect that you are some sort of psychotic stalker.
17. ___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am seeking in a long term partner.
18. ___Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should, however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please resubmit your application.
19. ___Somehow I doubt those condoms that I found in your overnight bag were really necessary for a successful business trip.
20. ___ I find the fact that you can drink more alcohol in one sitting than a platoon of military men totally unacceptable and unattractive. (besides the lampshade is really not becoming)
21. ___I am out of your league; set your sights lower next time.
Sincerely, _________________________________

Mea

(and my old signiture...till I think of a new one

_________________________
My ex-Husband bought me a mood ring so he could monitor my moods. When Im in a good mood it turns green. When Im in a bad mood it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time the B****** will buy me a diamond.

That questionaire is very funny but I really like your signature line!

E

Aww Mea you sound great.

Thank so much for bringing back some fun mamma.

Here is to a very bright future.

The Limo, was just priceless.

You are very loved

Lissett

Oh Honey,
YOU are "the" success story!!!
You found Mea again!!!
And you are happy and healthy and whole.

Isn't that the ultimate goal to DB-ing?

Originally Posted By: Lissie

Aww Mea you sound great.

Thank so much for bringing back some fun mamma.

Here is to a very bright future.

The Limo, was just priceless.

You are very loved

Lissett

Hi there Lissett!!! $\:D$ How are you?

Thankyou for your kind words...xxxxxxxx

Im glad you think I bring some fun with me...I try

Take care of you! mea xxx

Originally Posted By: brandnewday

Oh Honey,
YOU are "the" success story!!!
You found Mea again!!!
And you are happy and healthy and whole.

Isn't that the ultimate goal to DB-ing?

$\:\)$

Awww that was a nice reply, thankyou!!!!!

Yep, I think I have definately found Mea again.lol..

Success isnt about saving your marriage is it, its about saving yourself! Ive done that, and so have you and many others...and those who dont feel they CAN do that, GIVE IT TIME, HAVE FAITH, YOU WILL BE FINE, I can promise you all that. $\:\)$

mea xx

A BELATED, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! $\:\)$ $\:\/$ $\:D$ $;\)$

I was instantly drawn to your post. You did a great job in writing while drunk. I cannot believe that horror story! I am grateful that your children are fine. I admire your survival attitude. Your humor is cute, especially your invite to your *celebration*. THANK YOU for stopping by!

This site needs people like you. You provide encouragement to many. Please keep in touch with us.

We appreciate you!
/Tia

:)Thankyou so much Tia!!

Thats very appreciated. I cant give anyone any advice on HOW to DB (It wasnt my strong point, lol, ) but at least those who are feeling they wont survive this nightmare and ever be happy again, will see that most of us do come out of this whole and intact. I honestly never thought I would, at times. I had a breakdown, I was a total mess, and sometimes I even thought I wanted to die $\:$$ and when people told me "you WILL get through this, you WILL get over this" I thought "No, I wont!! Others might, but I wont"...I cant believe now I EVER thought that way!! Over a MAN????? Jeez! haha.

I feel so different now. And I really beleive that its the MLCer that never TRUELY moves on from this. This stays with them, forever. Even if they appear to be happy, I dont think they ever really are, not deep down. I wouldnt like to be in their shoes, thats for sure. They have to live with what theyve done, and its always there, tapping them on the shoulder. Regret, guilt, what-ifs, unanswered questions...each and every one of them will feel regret, I really do think that.

I used to think it was us, the LBS, that had drawn the short straw, but I dont think that now. The short straw is grasped firmly in the hands of the MLCer. And while they are grabbing at that short straw with one hand, WE are grabbing at our new lives, with 2 STRONG hands. I know which one of us Id rather be! $;$$ $\:\)$

Hi Mea.

Nice to see you. I have missed you around here. But it is great to hear how well you are doing and sharing your message.

IMP

IMP!!!! $\:D$ I was only thinking of you yesterday, how the devil are you???

Im so happy to hear from you, I hope alls well on Planet Imp

Ive missed your tact :D...I hope any newbies on here realise how invaluable your advice is and how wise your words are. Dont ever change imp.

Now, do you still have my plane ticket to visit you in your pocket???? (or did you think you,d escaped me, haha)

xx

Hello, mea!

I don't get to the bb much anymore, but thought I'd pop in today and found your update. Wonderful to hear you're doing so well and that your d is also, after everything.

My, how busy Chippie has been, new baby and all. Who knows if he's really out of the tunnel, he seems just desperate to try to get the old attention from you as he always used to. Must annoy the h_ll out of him that he can't get it anymore.

Happy belated 50th!

-- Karen

did you tajke the facial mask off yet, mea!!!

Butr all is good in IMPland. Boys are with me now and playing xbox.

Work has slowed. And the board seems to be getting to a better place. It's all good.

IMP

Hi Mea

I drop by once in a while these days, and overlooked your thread till now. It's great to read your update, I have thought about you a lot and wondered how things were going. It is GREAT news about your elder daughter, it must be like she has been reborn?

One of these days I am just going to HAVE to meet up with you, perhaps this summer, when I'm in your neck of the woods? $;\)$

Sending you a big CHEERS!

Liv

Hey MEA you "sound" great. Your "4 years on" caught my eye as it will be 4 years since the Big D on Thursday for me. It's great to be able to look back after 4 years and see how far we've come. Like you, I cannot say the same for my xw. I was a bit off schedule today, and because of same, by sheer coincidence was within a few hundred feet of my x and I got a good look at x (she didn't observe me). It's very very sad to see what's left of someone you onced shared a life with and believed you were going to be with until the end. I too have no bitterness nor anger toward her.
Life goes on for us survivors. May yours continue to unfold in positive ways.

MEA-

I have not been on here in so long! I've missed you my friend! Sounds like life has moved along nicely for you. Good for you! And ole CD is still lonely and feeling sorry for himself...HMMMM!

Glad the girls are doing well and have survived the CD years! That's always my biggest fear is how the kids will survive.

I'm doing well. Enjoying Life. **EDITED - Participant shall not post e-mail address.**

Happy 50 my friend...bottoms up!

Love to ya-
SA3
Kelly

MEA- dont know you at all but your post gave me hope.
Hope that I can get through this.
Hope that I will let go some day.
Just plain hope.....

Thank you -

Hi again, old friends and new. I am so sorry its taken so long to reply, I forgot my log in details

and tried to re-register, but couldnt even remember the e.mail addy Id registered with, duh!! It wouldnt let me re-register with a new name cuz it kept saying someone else had my that e.mail addy...YES!! ME!!!

So then I remembered an older e.mail addy and tried to log in with that one, but couldnt remember the password...so then had to get a new password sent to the OLD e.mail addy, then it turned out I had a differtent username that I thought..blah blah blah...

, so now Im "meany". Clear as mud, huh??

Anyway, thanks for all your replies. I cant do multi-quotes (as you can tell, Im not a computer wizz, haha) so I hope I dont leave any of you out, but I want to reply to you...

First off "hellooooo kell!!!!! How are you my friend?? Its SO good to hear from you! Id LOVE to catch up with you!!

EDITED - email addresses not allowed.

Write me, we,ll catch up, ok? Are you doing ok Kell???

Batty, great to hear from you!! A real blast from the past

Youve come a long way, as we all have. Its a good feeling when you see your WAS and feel very little, except pity...thats what I feel for CD. I see him and he looks so old and ill, and sad. It makes me feel sorry for him a bit (but I also admit that I do hide my mouth behind my hand and snigger slightly :/) Gotta be done sometimes!! $;\)$

Imp,my cheeky little friend...glad your boys are with you. Are they with you living, or just staying over and thrashing you on the X box?

Are you a sore loser?

Liv, I sent you an e.mail when you pm,d me on the MF, did you ever get it? Or maybe I changed e.mails and you replied to the wrong one, either way it would be good to hear from you, Ive just given SA3 my e.mail addy above, you are more than welcome to e.mail me, and very welcome to come visist whenever you are in this neck of the woods, just say when and I,ll have the wine chilling $;\)$

cagzmom, Hi, thanks for your post. Im glad I gave you hope. You WILL get through this. You WILL let go. If I did, anyone can. Seriously, you WILL. You wont be the same person, but you will be a better person and definately a STRONGER one. One day you will be making posts similar to this, and it will hit you, that you are OVER it. Dont give up hope on that score...Im a emotional,passionate person who felt everything in the most painfull way, I was my own worst enemy in a way because I could NOT detach from all the drama. I was the worst DBer on here, and I thought that, because of extra baggage from my childhood, which was abusive, plus a H that made many Hs on here look like saints (yes, he really was THAT bad), what chance did I have of moving on and thriving.but I did, and you will too. Very good luck to you.x

Im going to try to post more often now...I dont know that any advice I can give would help anyone though, unless someone wants to be told how NOT to DB, haha....perhaps I could start a thread "ADVICE ON HOW TO GET IT WRONG...ALL QUESTIONS ANSWERED"

Id be good at that!! $\:D$

Love to all of you....keep yer peckers up $\:\)$

Mea xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi mea. Nice to hear from you.

Quote:

Imp,my cheeky little friend...glad your boys are with you. Are they with you living, or just staying over and thrashing you on the X box? Are you a sore loser?

They don't live with me, but they are around quite a bit. But I don;t play xbox unless it is Madden football and it is hard to match wits with the wily veteran. But I am not a sore loser, but when I do lose, you know you have been in a battle. Scrabble anyone?

and you said:

Quote:

Love to all of you....keep yer peckers up \:\)

mea, do actually understand what you are saying!!!!!

IMP

Hi IMP $\:D$

I bet Id whip your ass at Scrabble

Id just cheat. I could easily pretend that my "made-up" words were little-known,quaint little English words. Mea-isims

Its nice to see you are still frequenting this board imp..your advice has always been spot-on. I hope people realise how wise you are.

I get a bit of a "funny" feeling reading some of the posts here. So many people in so much pain $\:\($ It seeps through the computer screen and makes me hurt for those who are suffering. Its a terrible time for all of you going through this and I feel for you all.

I know what its like to fall asleep in pain, and wake up in pain. You dont think it will ever ease off. But it does. It honestly, really does! Suddenly you realise youve gone a whole hour without thinking of the WAS.!! Then a whole afternoon! Then a whole day!!

Im not saying I dont EVER feel pain, when I think back, because I do...but its a twinge here and there, a certain smell or song or phrase might cause it, but it IS just a twinge, not a full-blown kick in the gut, like it used to be. And its fleeting, seconds later its gone and Im laughing at something on the TV or thinking about something totally different.

Hang in there all of you who are hurting. You have to hurt, to move on. But move on, you will.

There endith the lesson

mea xx

Looks like someone edits the posts and takes the e-mail addresses out. Try me again......

EDITED - email addresses are NOT ALLOWED. You must comply with the
Divorcebusting.com: Board Rules if you would like to continue the privilege of posting here.

Drop me an e-mail. I have an old yahoo account for you I just sent to......but it came back as a bad account. Help me to find you.......

Kelly (SA3)

So glad to hear you doing well!!!!

What a great story. Your new life, that is. As for the past drama, well, it's not yours to live anymore!

Good going!