There are different types of success. Here's one...she ended up divorced, but she was successful in saving herself.
I'm getting ready to head down to Florida for a couple of days. I have a friend who lives in Safety Harbor not too far from the ocean. I'm looking forward to the break from my real life if only for a few days, but I still have to contend with my real life until Thursday.
In dealing with that life I realize that although things have drastically changed life keeps getting better. I'd never want to go through anything like this again, but I have a freedom that I've never had, or at least not for a very long time.
I know I'm not alone in saying this but when the dust settles it feels as though a weight has been lifted from our shoulders. I feel nothing like I originally thought I would after the divorce, but I know from reading so many threads that this is so common. When you're knee deep in it you just can't understand. What was most important was keeping my family together at any cost which meant I totally overlooked the fact that I was empty and tired from working so hard to keep it together. It kept me in a place where I believed that this was my fault and I must be deserving of this betrayal. The way back in searching for my North Star was a long one, and there were times when I wanted to give up, in the end it was worth the wait.
Living with someone who suffers from depression (which I'm sure most people in MLC battle)takes us down with them. It zaps your soul and steals your spirit. The great thing is that with time and work on ourselves we are resilient and we can get it all back. I guess I'm saying this because in reading the MLC board I still see a very common mistake. We seem to think that divorce means everything that brought joy to our lives is over. I know I did but what is it that's over? We don't take into consideration that while we're trying to fend this off we are scared, and hopeless and at someone else's mercy. I think now that the very worst thing we can do is to give someone else our power and underestimate our worth. Maybe our worth isn't much to someone in MLC but it certainly is to our kids, family, friends, and most importantly should be to ourselves.
I say this because I see so many people that I care about here just starting the process or in the middle of the storm. Sometimes it looks as if there's no end in sight, and maybe we never will be completely over it, but that doesn't change the fact that we do heal and we can be happy again.