180 approach - 03/23/21 12:02 PM
Just looking for advise. I started last Wed. This approach. We have been married for 20 years. 5 weeks ago she filed for divorce. I knew things were not great but never saw divorce coming. I left for three weeks to give her space. Of course after week 2 I wrote her a letter, told her how much I loved her. All the wrong stuff. After reading the book I decided to try this approach.
Was feeling better about myself until Sat. Night. She found a way to suck me in to a conversation and it escalated. I was calm and used a soft tone and that angered her even more. Said she does not love me. Refuses to get help together and just wants out.
She wants to stay in control to keep the anger alive.
How do I get back to this approach. I feel everything I learned I screwed up. Time is not on my side final date is set for July and where we live it’s no fault state.
Decisions on selling house will be coming soon. This will really spark a fire with her.
Was feeling better about myself until Sat. Night. She found a way to suck me in to a conversation and it escalated. I was calm and used a soft tone and that angered her even more. Said she does not love me. Refuses to get help together and just wants out.
She wants to stay in control to keep the anger alive.
How do I get back to this approach. I feel everything I learned I screwed up. Time is not on my side final date is set for July and where we live it’s no fault state.
Decisions on selling house will be coming soon. This will really spark a fire with her.