Wife Has Gone - Strange Situation - 09/17/20 09:38 PM
Hey Guys
Been reading this forum for a while and finally plucked up the courage to post my own thread. Hope someone can help with advice.
Been together 17 years, married for 5 with 2 kids.
3 months ago my life was fine until I found a letter from someone to my wife confessing his love for her. Found out she has been having an affair with a coworker 15 years younger than her. She finally confessed after denying it at first. She seemed to want to repair things at the start, said she do anything to fix things. She quit her job and arrange marriage counselling.
Soon after we started the counselling it was clear her heart wasn't in it. She told me she had feelings for the other guy and was confused about what she wanted. Counselling started and seemed to be going well but I found some notes she had wrote to herself when cleaning her car about how she wanted out of the relationship. She said these were just random thoughts she had wrote down but the counselling soon ended and she said she needed space and went to her mums.
Previously I had booked a holiday for us 4 which we went on and had a great time but the day we got back she said she wanted to separate. I was shocked but not all together surprised. We've had, what I thought a good relationship, arguments and disagreements along the way but nothing major. She's now saying all kinds of things that we've always had problems and she's never been happy which anyone know knows us just can't make sense of, me included.
Since we've been separated which has only been 3 weeks we've seen loads of each other, mainly cause of the kids but things have been great between us, no arguing or bickering. She comes over and cooks and we watch TV and play with the kids. She acts like everything is normal which I can't get my head around cause sue has said the relationship is over. I mentioned divorce and she didn't want to talk about it. She hasn't told the kids much either.
I'm contemplating getting some individual therapy but not sure if this will be any help. I've been on medication for the last 2 months to ease my anxiety, still working every day whilst she sits at her Mum's with no job.
I guess she thinks she's doing the right thing by still being nice and coming over to cook etc but I just can't make any sense out of it. Surely if our marriage has been that bad she'd want to stay away.
Hoping someone can help me with what I need to do.
Many thanks
Steven
Been reading this forum for a while and finally plucked up the courage to post my own thread. Hope someone can help with advice.
Been together 17 years, married for 5 with 2 kids.
3 months ago my life was fine until I found a letter from someone to my wife confessing his love for her. Found out she has been having an affair with a coworker 15 years younger than her. She finally confessed after denying it at first. She seemed to want to repair things at the start, said she do anything to fix things. She quit her job and arrange marriage counselling.
Soon after we started the counselling it was clear her heart wasn't in it. She told me she had feelings for the other guy and was confused about what she wanted. Counselling started and seemed to be going well but I found some notes she had wrote to herself when cleaning her car about how she wanted out of the relationship. She said these were just random thoughts she had wrote down but the counselling soon ended and she said she needed space and went to her mums.
Previously I had booked a holiday for us 4 which we went on and had a great time but the day we got back she said she wanted to separate. I was shocked but not all together surprised. We've had, what I thought a good relationship, arguments and disagreements along the way but nothing major. She's now saying all kinds of things that we've always had problems and she's never been happy which anyone know knows us just can't make sense of, me included.
Since we've been separated which has only been 3 weeks we've seen loads of each other, mainly cause of the kids but things have been great between us, no arguing or bickering. She comes over and cooks and we watch TV and play with the kids. She acts like everything is normal which I can't get my head around cause sue has said the relationship is over. I mentioned divorce and she didn't want to talk about it. She hasn't told the kids much either.
I'm contemplating getting some individual therapy but not sure if this will be any help. I've been on medication for the last 2 months to ease my anxiety, still working every day whilst she sits at her Mum's with no job.
I guess she thinks she's doing the right thing by still being nice and coming over to cook etc but I just can't make any sense out of it. Surely if our marriage has been that bad she'd want to stay away.
Hoping someone can help me with what I need to do.
Many thanks
Steven