A familiar story with questions eleven

https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2841663&page=1

Well, tomorrow's the day. W has a crew coming to move her and D17 out.

This whole week has been a bit surreal. I'm okay, as well as I can tell. Feelings and thoughts are mixed based on my mood. One minute I'm a bit sad. Not so much for her leaving but the idea that a 25-year relationship is taking the next step and not in a growth direction. Later, I am excited that this cute single woman that I know through business has sent me a FB friend request. No, I'm not jumping into any relationships for some time. Heck, I'm still married.
W has been soft and agreeable. We ate together last night without kid. I'm sure her emotions are swirling as well.

Coming home to an empty house will be a test.

Hang in there RR. Your life is going to be awesome no matter what moving forward. You've got this.

RR, sorry you're going through this. Hopefully you bounce back pretty quickly after she's out. When XW left it was a terrible time. Just awful for a couple of weeks. But once I got over it, things got much better very quickly. Once you've been BD'd it is just a huge emotional drain being around the WAS all the time. Once they are gone you can start the real detaching.

Thanks, guys.
Though there's nothing to bounce back from. I'm constantly moving forward, just in a change of direction now.

So sorry, RR. Here's hoping the future will hold more love & fulfillment.

It�s ok dear friend. You did the fight you had to. Moving forward from now on.

Respect!

Thanks, guys.
About 3 weeks in and I'm fine. I'm focused on other things that I have going on and that's a lot these days. Work, church, golf, friends, dinner with D18 and a side gig. I've even gotten involved in a local political project.

W and I have had limited contact. She sent over an amicable bill proposal and has been very nice during the one phone communication we had. I was sick about a week ago and she was sympathic-ish. I sense guilt. But who knows.?No expectations but it beats being at odds.

I have been suspicious of her mentions of another co-worker. I don't know the guy but he is morbidly obese and has a very young child. When W said she was moving out on Feb 22nd, I asked if he was helping. She said no and didn't seem shocked at my mention. Poor girl has such low self esteem that anyone that pays any attention can get her eye. No, I'm not sure but his name came up enough times during stories about work that I have my hunches. Very different than anyone I would ever imagine her being interested in. But I digress.

I often feel that I doubt I would even take her back if she tried. I could never restore the trust and she would never do what would be required.

Things like taking off the ring and telling the few people that I have have been new territory. After 24+ years it is odd and you get so used to being seen as a certain way. But I am in no hurry.

Originally Posted by RR17

I often feel that I doubt I would even take her back if she tried. I could never restore the trust and she would never do what would be required.

One of the most freeing things I've ever done was to decide that an ex-gf that kept coming into and out of my life at her whim, was finished. For years she tried to come back into my life, but I had moved on, and stuck to it. I feel so free even today thinking about how if situations changed and she tried to come back I would firmly say "No thank you." I think the best decision you could make for your self is to drop the doubt, and say without a doubt, it is over and I am moving on. File for D and move on with your life. You've been stuck for so long I don't think you realize how amazing freeing yourself would be.

Also, you mention her lack of self-esteem meaning anyone that gives her attention gets her eye. What does it say about your self-esteem that you still entertain the thought of taking someone like that back? Just a thought.

Better days are ahead, my friend! I guarantee it.

Steve,

I think you need to think about the hypocrisy in your posts and show some more compassion. I know I need to work on more compassion and understand the posters are doing the best they can under the circumstances.

Quote

Also, you mention her lack of self-esteem meaning anyone that gives her attention gets her eye. What does it say about your self-esteem that you still entertain the thought of taking someone like that back? Just a thought.

I see where LH19 is coming from, but I also know that Steve is coming from a constructive place. Besides my self-esteem can afford it. lol

My claim was both admittedly a bit bitter but also based on current observations. Any reference to consideration in taking her back is meer speculation. I think every person wonders if they could ever go back. It's natural.

Originally Posted by RR17

Quote

Also, you mention her lack of self-esteem meaning anyone that gives her attention gets her eye. What does it say about your self-esteem that you still entertain the thought of taking someone like that back? Just a thought.

I see where LH19 is coming from, but I also know that Steve is coming from a constructive place. Besides my self-esteem can afford it. lol

My claim was both admittedly a bit bitter but also based on current observations. Any reference to consideration in taking her back is meer speculation. I think every person wonders if they could ever go back. It's natural.

Well said. You even question it after you have gone back. We are here for you man. You know we'll support and help you no matter what you decide.

RR17, on the off chance you read this, would really like to hear an update.