Few months into piecing - 01/26/20 01:20 AM
I wanted to give an update a few months into piecing. What I have learned :
When someone is truly ready to reconcile you will know . I heard this many times and a few times I thought H was heading that way then he would run back into craziness . You will know when actions are solid . They stay solid.
Let go of every possible outcome . The good , the bad or the unknown . You can’t predict what is going to happen . You can only control you and how you handle you . This was a hard balance “the unknown “
GAL - this for me is still one of my number ones . There are times you just have to take a break and find you . GAL does not have to be sky diving or running a marathon . Sometimes I just go shopping alone and buy house items to decorate . It what I like to do .
Take most of the advice on here not all . I really took time to process what others said to do and applied what worked .
Do not be scared to be you . Be the best you . I spent close to a year walking on egg shells in my house before my husband walked out the door . Why ? Because I didn’t want him to walk out the door . Guess what he did anyway . He also walked back in it because I stopped walking on eggshells and was just a better version of me . I never once asked him to come home . I did make him ask to move home .
So a few months in I can say I do not know how much he has changed but more how I have changed . Minimal disagreements between us but mainly because I have learned not to fuel anything . It’s not that I am a punching bag or he can walk all over me either . I learned to accept some of him . He likes more time out with his friends ... the more I pay no mind to it an odd thing happened he actually invites me to go now . Sometimes I go , sometimes I don’t.
The hurt doesn’t just go away . It’s still there . H has apologized for it more than once it’s just going to take some time . It does get better but sometimes I still look at him and think you destroyed me and now look .
The fog does clear sometimes . My H laid in bed and said I never thought I could be so happy with my wife months ago .
I still plan things without H . Funny thing now is he tends to invite himself . I planned a vacation without him just me and the kids . I have done this before not unusual. He looked at me and said I really wanna go . After I picked myself up off the floor , I actually laughed at him . When he moved out he berated me saying how he hates the vacations I dragged him on for years . He listed every single one in rage .I made sure to point that one out .
I’m not on here as much as I would like but this site didn’t save my marriage . It saved me which then played a big part in saving my marriage . It made me strong . My own person . It was my journal with tears in my eyes some nights .
When someone is truly ready to reconcile you will know . I heard this many times and a few times I thought H was heading that way then he would run back into craziness . You will know when actions are solid . They stay solid.
Let go of every possible outcome . The good , the bad or the unknown . You can’t predict what is going to happen . You can only control you and how you handle you . This was a hard balance “the unknown “
GAL - this for me is still one of my number ones . There are times you just have to take a break and find you . GAL does not have to be sky diving or running a marathon . Sometimes I just go shopping alone and buy house items to decorate . It what I like to do .
Take most of the advice on here not all . I really took time to process what others said to do and applied what worked .
Do not be scared to be you . Be the best you . I spent close to a year walking on egg shells in my house before my husband walked out the door . Why ? Because I didn’t want him to walk out the door . Guess what he did anyway . He also walked back in it because I stopped walking on eggshells and was just a better version of me . I never once asked him to come home . I did make him ask to move home .
So a few months in I can say I do not know how much he has changed but more how I have changed . Minimal disagreements between us but mainly because I have learned not to fuel anything . It’s not that I am a punching bag or he can walk all over me either . I learned to accept some of him . He likes more time out with his friends ... the more I pay no mind to it an odd thing happened he actually invites me to go now . Sometimes I go , sometimes I don’t.
The hurt doesn’t just go away . It’s still there . H has apologized for it more than once it’s just going to take some time . It does get better but sometimes I still look at him and think you destroyed me and now look .
The fog does clear sometimes . My H laid in bed and said I never thought I could be so happy with my wife months ago .
I still plan things without H . Funny thing now is he tends to invite himself . I planned a vacation without him just me and the kids . I have done this before not unusual. He looked at me and said I really wanna go . After I picked myself up off the floor , I actually laughed at him . When he moved out he berated me saying how he hates the vacations I dragged him on for years . He listed every single one in rage .I made sure to point that one out .
I’m not on here as much as I would like but this site didn’t save my marriage . It saved me which then played a big part in saving my marriage . It made me strong . My own person . It was my journal with tears in my eyes some nights .
Glad things are going well! I'm still working on letting go but I'm getting much closer-- you are a total inspiration