Ya know, I am happy to start a new thread. I am a different person than the girl on the last thread.
Last thread Hard to summarize... Me and H M almost 19years now. He left me once before for three years, I DB'ed, got him back. That was like 9 years ago. H has had many OW. His current one lives far away.
We have 3 kids, he never contacts.
I am not going to say I am done DB'ing, but I dont want anything to do with H. I am actively seeking a replacement H.
I spend alot of time with Chris, but he does not qualify as a replacement.
I work full time, go to college full time, work part-time and me and the kids live with my crazy mother.
No depression is allowed on this thread and no matter what jerkface does, laughter is required to be here. Yes, that is the best way to start a new thread. My goal for the next thread is no jerkface talk allowed, lol. Wish me luck on that.
Mona- another PA person so add me to the list.!
Not sure how you juggle what you juggle with work, school and kids but my hats off to you! And glad you have a deadline of your end of DB'ing
OK, Mona, no depressing talk. Let's think about those Chippendales!
Fo, I love the he|| out of you! Rich! PA huh, lots of snow poor thing.
Too much snow! 31 inches....nothing like shoveling, working with neighbors and then sleigh riding with D and then having to hang in thehouse with the STBX....
Mona, you are a busy busy bee! Sorry, o Chippendale here. But, I'm all about pma! Let's do this!
Are we having a chippendale party? I want in!
I wanted to, but it looks like March and April they are in Nevada. Way too far for me. We are looking into alternative plans
Had an awesome night last night. H bashed me hard (with words) to my D so I knew I might spiral. So I played Rock Band 3 with D for hours, then Skyrim with S, then Call of Duty with other daughter. I did not cook dinner, or clean a thing. We just gamed and laughed. After Call of Duty, I felt brave so I let D17 drive on the streets with all the snow. It was so scary! But she did well.
I sent a text earlier in the day to Chris. I knew he was at work, but I just sort of let him know I was having a real bad day. (At the time I was). He never replied when he got off work. No, one mistake is not going to bury him, but I want to make sure I dont rose color faults. Being as lonely as I have been these past few months, it would be easy for me to jump too quickly.
S12 is really starting to get a mustache. I asked jerkface 2 months ago to teach S how to shave, jerkface said no. I asked my BIL today, he also said no. BIL said I need to get jerkface to do it. I told BIL jerkface said no, but BIL does not believe me.
So... yeah, I guess I will figure something out.
OK, I think we can find some of the DB men to stand in for the Chippendales and meet us somewhere in PA/MD/NJ/VA. I personally think that would be a lot more fun than those fake Chippendales guys, and we can all practice our validation skills together so it will be educational and very DB.
Any volunteers?
You do realize you just painted a bullseye in my rough geographic location, right?
Does that mean you are in?
Sure. One question - where can I buy a banana hammock?
Oh, and I wear a size 12 shoe. If you wanted to know. You know, for identification purposes.
OMG you are cracking me up. Have you ever looked for the girl with the purple mohawk on the DB FB page? I think she posted on Jan 16? You should go make friends with her. LOL.
I've actually never went onto the DB FB page. I'll hunt a bit now for fun
And guess what song is on the radio - I will Survive, covered by Cake. Guess what song I'm going to play for my next? It's got some very easy chords in it...
OK the girl in the mohawk is in a different time zone so if you send her a message be patient. Its not me.
You dont need an outfit SciDad, I have you covered, not to worry!
Me and my best friend since 7th grade are going on a date tonight! Ha. She is moving away in 3 days, so we are going out for Karaoke together. If a man approaches she agreed to be my 'girlfriend'. Just to be clear, I will be the woman in this relationship! It starts at 7 pm and it is only 11am now.
We wont sing, but we are going to have so much fun.
yee haw seems appropriate
Mona, I sent you a PM on Facebook! 😀
Ok I really miss the edit button!!!!!!
Ok I really miss the edit button!!!!!!
We may be working on that!
Bizzaro world continues. Normally, when my H pisses me off, I lash out. It is the pattern, we both understand it.
My H bashed me bad yesterday. I was at work, my D15 was stuck in the city next to ours and needed picked up. My mom's car is in the garage, so I had no one.
I broke down and asked H.
He went to get her. I thanked him (ewww)
Apparently, while driving her back, he apologized for having to shut of her and D17's cell phone. He told her I am taking 60% of his income. He said he cant even text her because I take all of his money. He said he cannot invite her over his house or see her or talk to her because I am taking all of his money.
(For the record, my child support is 18% of his income)
Okay, let the pattern begin.
H pissed me off. Time to wait a day and lash out at him!
Hold on. I just dont care. He can say what he wants.
I grumbled a bit yesterday about how unfair things were and dropped the whole thing.
I got a text (2 actually) from jerkface today! It has been months since he texted me. I have texted him for help, but he only texted me a few months ago to ask for money and I said no.
He is looking for a fight. He is trying to lash out at me! HA!
How about I dont answer his texts until tomorrow. The day after he pisses me off is lash out day and I wont be pulled into a fight today.
Now I have 24 hours to figure out how to talk to him so I dont sound like a freaking mommy, so I dont sound like I am criticizing him, and I need to find something to praise him about. Okay, they said DB'ing was hard, but that is impossible.
"I am so proud of you for breathing. You are doing great at that, keep it up."
HAHA
Diamond love, I am not mowhawk girl, lol
But I know who is! Give her time to get on
Cadet, edit buttons are for cool people.
"I am so proud of you for breathing. You are doing great at that, keep it up."
HAHA
Mona, I'm dying over here. Hahahahaha!
I know you are not Mohawk girl, but found you anyways. Lol
okay, nothing from H in months. I have to force contact with kids and that happens maybe once a month. November = thanksgiving, Christmas in December, yesterday I needed SOMEONE to pick up D15 because I was at work. They were me initiating each time. He initiated once because he needed money and I refused.
Earlier today he sent me 2 (YES TWO) text messages. I ignored both.
tonight, he sent D15 a text! I did not read it but D said it said something like "I enjoyed picking you up yesterday"
amazing, huh???
I WONT thank him or validate in any way. His R with his kids is none of my business so I will keep clear of it. If I praise him, it will look like i am watching him.
Earlier today, one of my bestest friends in the whole wide world told me she wanted her husband to apologize and show remorse. So I typed out this long text message. It was full of heartfelt apologies I imagined I would not mind hearing from my H. My text was so remorseful and detailed, that I deleted it instead of pressing send, because it was dead on a deepest desire. I wanted to show her that even if she heard the words, the pain would still be there.
Well, my own text hit me like a ton of bricks. That is why I could not even send it to her. After pushing H out of my head, that text flooded my brain with thoughts of jerkface.
No big deal, I have so many things to distract me, right? I took my kids to karaoke tonight and hands down I had one of the greatest nights of my entire life! We are DYING for next Wednesday to come!
But jerkface finally texting a kid on a day where I was slightly vulnerable is making sleep tonight a little elusive.
I have zero expectations for myself. But, if he texted one kids, could it be possible he will text the other 2 sometime soon???
Not gonna watch for it, gonna boot him from my head again. I know that tunnel time takes years and he has just begun. Back to me me me. Forget about jerkface...
I am sorry your husband has caused you so much pain. You are a great woman and worthy of much better behavior then his. It's not your fault. I hope for the sake of the children he straightens out and flies right. Be well dear Mona
P.S. I am glad you had such a wonderful time with your children. Nothing is as important as that.
Mona,
So glad that you guys had so much fun doing karaoke! I did that for the first time a couple of weeks ago and it was a blast. I can NOT sing, but I still had lots of fun.
Not sure what your H's texts were about so I can't help you there, but as far as praising/validating him why not just say something like "I just wanted to thank you for picking D up yesterday when I was in a bind. I know that you're really busy so I appreciate that you were able to make time to do that for me. Thanks again." Or something like that. Simple enough, right?
Hi Mona52. Sorry to hear that you are getting so much grief from your H. You did a great job avoiding the bait and not responding to his text. Sounds like it might have been a 180 for you.
Glad to hear you had a great time playing video games with your kids. I need to pull out my old Wii so that I can play a few games with my D3. Thanks for the idea.
Hope today is better than yesterday.
Sorry to hear that your H was such a pain in the a$$. But you did great holding back and not rising to the bait.
Well, I will like to say how great you're at continuing to breathe and not exploding. ;p!
We have an upcoming family event that I would like to extend an invitation to H to come. But for the life of me I have no idea HOW to extend the invitation.
I have some options, but if you guys know a better option then what I have here, please chime in.
My S12 can text his dad on FB. "Daddy, can you come with us and watch me?" (S12 is the one who wants H there the most, it would mean the world to S to have dad watch him)
My D15 can reply to H last text. H texted her last night on how nice it was to drive her home... D15 wants NOTHING to do with H. I would have to kinda force her to invite him.
D17 can text her dad. D17 does not really want to see her dad either, but is okay if he comes. D15 actively does not want to see him at all.
Or... probably the worst option, but this option does not involve the kids so if he bails, they wont even know or be hurt. However, if any of the kids ask, he might come, if I go with this option, he probably wont come (yes, I am mind-reading a little, but it is based on all past behavior)
The last option is for me to invite him...
I guess there is always one more option. Don't invite him at all.
I should come clean here, I probably have ulterior motives for inviting him. S12 REALLY does want dad there, I was not lying, but this will be an event where I will shine brighter than the sun. My H will have never seen me like this, except maybe on my wedding day. We will be with a large number of people, and they will gravitate towards me the entire time because I am a happy person. (I know that sounds horribly vain....ugh, but it is true). I will easily be able to leave him alone the entire time because I will be so busy doing my own thing. There is zero chance it will end in a fight because it is just not a place for any kind of 'talk'. So all around it will be d@mn near perfect for me.
If you think I should NOT invite him, I wont. I understand he has to be given the space needed to miss us. I understand that he texted my D yesterday and I might be using this as an excuse to jump all over that.
I also know I took my son to see a therapist yesterday because he is in a ton of pain because he misses his daddy. Yes... that is out of my control. I dont feel inviting H to a family event is trying to control him.
Geez, just when I think I am the freaking master of my own DB'ing I fall into a tailspin...
Do I want my M back? Seriously, I just dont know anymore.
Will this bring me closer or further from my goal? Cr@p, I need to decide if I want my M before I can answer that.
Okay, since I am not 100% positive I DONT want him, I will hang in a little longer and root for the last 20 years. So for today only, I will still fight for my M.
Now, will inviting him bring me closer or further away from that goal? 100% sure it will bring me closer to that goal. No one, not even Eeyore can see me and my kids in this environment and not want to be a part of it.
Sure, he can always get madder because we are out having fun while he is not. I can get blamed for that. It could move me further from my goal, but that is a chance I am willing to take.
I am leaning towards having S and D both ask him and me not say a word. The reason is, it is VERY VERY easy for H to just say no to S. H is a jerk. It is very very hard to just say no to D15 because she never asks for a thing and is a sweetheart.
S can text H because S will have the enthusiasm H might need to understand the importance, and D can text dad so there is the best chance dad will show.
Please tell me if I am making a mistake?
Well, I decided not to invite him. I dont need this right now. I have SOOOO much work to do and I need to stay focused or I will drop more than one ball I am juggling. I feel like my life might be a house of cards today and the slightest breeze will collapse it all.
So I am not going to invite trouble by talking to jerkface. He texted me twice a few days ago asking a question I have already answered more than once so I just ignored him and ya know what happened when I ignored him? I did not get sucked into anger or pain or craziness.
I am just so happy it is Friday! I am going out with my friends tonight. Tomorrow I might go out with Al. I met him on Wednesday. He is 84 years old and his wife of 62 years dies 2 years ago, so he goes out to karaoke for companionship on Wednesday and Saturday. I might go with him on Saturday and I know I will have a blast! Sunday is the Singles dance and I will go with a group for that. Monday I am still trying to decide if I want to go see Chris or just stay home and relax. I will see how the weekend goes.
But it is still the workday on Friday and for me to earn this weekend, I still have a ton of work to get done, and work for my second job to finish and a little studying for school to finish. Time to get off the forum and get busy!
Mona. That sounds like a lot of fun! Have a good weekend!
Hi Mona, just wondering how you are?
We miss you Mona, can you come out and play?
Hiya peeps.
Quit update... PC not functioning, and this website is not the best to surf to from my work PC. I'm IT so i can cover it, but they are IT too so they can uncover it, lol
Let's see... jerkface weird. He never contacts me or the kids, but every once in a while he will send a quick text? Never about anything.
For example we spoke once or twice in February... he sent me a happy valentine's day text. He never sent me a Happy Thanksgiving text, He completely ignored me on Christmas, and i am still waiting for a Happy New Year text. But Vday rolls around and:
H:Happy valentines day Mona. I hope you are having a wonderful day.
i replied the next day "Thx, you too H"
We spoke a little more in Feb and he saw the kids one day.
Out of the blue on Wednesday
H: Hey, You OK?
me: Yes, why?
No answer.
A while later...
me: lol, did you text me by accident?
Hours later...
H: Lol no. I had a bad dream and I'm just checking on you
I ALMOST invited him out with me and the kids Wednesday because of the text. I was going to entice him by offering to pay his way and buy him ciggs. But some peeps on this board slapped me before I could invite him and pulled me through
I still spend Fridays dancing with Brian. It is a highlight of my week. I spend Wednesdays with my kids at karaoke and it is SOOOOOOO much fun!
Saturday night and Monday night I spend with Chris. He bought me roses and a sapphire necklace so far
. I keep telling him not to. I cant believe how nice it is spending time with him. But it is only 2 nights a week and I dont see that changing to any more or any less anytime soon.
I have not given upon my H, but I dont think about him much anymore and I spend my days very happy most of the time.
Glad to hear from you Mona! It sounds like you are really enjoying life and that is awesome!
It is nice H texted you, shows your on his mind from time to time. Whatever happens happens right? Keep up the life you have made for yourself it sounds wonderful!
Fixed my PC
Chris and I decided to officially date exclusively while I was away from the forums. It is a weird learning experience for me. I have lived with my H longer than I lived with my parents growing up and he is all I know and understand. Now I am relearning a whole new person.
I spend a lot of time paranoid he will see other women behind my back. I know this is just because H did it to me for 20 years. I am trying to work through it and I never let him see my crazy.
I still go dancing on Friday and dance almost exclusively with Brian then, but Chris does not mind Brian and we do nothing inappropriate. But I no longer go to singles dances on Sundays. Chris still goes to them, so every once in a while I go with him, but I feel like a piece of meat for sale there so I hate it. He does not have women hitting on him the entire time, but guys are constantly in front of me.
I became a part-time college student this month, which is completely bizarre. I only need 6 credits to finish my master's so they dropped me to part-time student. Immediately I started looking at classes I can take at a college here and right when I was at the registration page, ready to hit submit, I closed down the application. I think I am going to use my extra time with Chris. It feels weird, like I SHOULD be doing more to make myself better. It is all I have done for so many years now. But instead I want to walk in his woods (he lives in the woods, lol) or go fishing or other non-productive things. I will start my doctrine in a few months so this is only a temporary break.
I have also quit one of my part-time jobs. I dont feel like a freak anymore
. In the space of 2 weeks I went from working fulltime, plus 2 part-time jobs, plus full time college to working full time, one part time job and part time college. It feel weird to type that.
It looks like winter is finally behind us and the sun makes my PMA shoot through the roof. Spring is when sitch's here get really shaken up, so brace yourselves people. I will try and hit threads as soon as i can!
Mona, what did you mean by sitch's getting shaken up in Spring? Could it be our wayward spouses start to miss us a little? Please say yes! Especially if we are the ones who planted all the tulips that are coming up soon, and tended the garden like it's our baby?
Hi Mona, so nice too hear from you. I can see life is good for you and you are doing what Mona wants. You rock :-)
Hiya NYGal,
I mean that Spring after the winter we just went through will be nice for us, but we have to be careful. Just because our idiot WAS's are in a good mood because of the sun and good weather, it does not mean you can expect a R. Be prepared for them to be nice and keep it at ZERO expectations!
Hi Rouky! Thanks!
jerkface texted me yesterday asking if I could buy him 2 packs of ciggs. I was on my way to spend the evening at the dance with Chris, so it was weird.
I said yes,and dropped them off at his job. I expected him to open the car door, take the ciggs and thank me and I could leave. Nope... He made the mistake of asking me how the kids were.
As I pulled into my H's job my mind was on my upcoming evening, how bad traffic was, how was my D getting home from work, will my S get to bed on time and a billion other things that had nothing to do with H. So when he started up a conversation with me, i was a little startled and very annoyed. I was in a hurry so I would not be late.
Then I heard his words "How are they?"
OMG, without warning I saw red. Was he really asking me how his kids were? the kids he never takes a second out of his busy day to even text? the kids he never ever sees? The kids I have to DO EVERYTHING for, every single day?
I got very angry, but I am a pro and did not let anything show. I just smiled and said they were great. It was raining a tiny bit so I said he should get inside before he gets sick. It was a nice way for me to tell him to close the car door and go. And he did.
My anger dissolved as I drove away.
He texted me a few minutes after I left:
H: Ty you saved my life
Me: Buying cigarettes is actually killing you
H: Ok you saved my crew's lives lol
(He works on a press and I guess he was being irate with his crew to the point of killing them because of nicotine withdraw)
Me: Lol
When I got to Chris, he had a bouquet of daisies for me and it made me feel unbelievably nice.
I had a great time with Chris at the dance. I hardly danced at all, which is weird for me. I was actually a little disappointed every time he asked me to dance (he only asked for the slow songs) because I was having such a good time just talking to him at the table in the corner.
I made it as official as possible today by posting 3 pictures of him and me on my FB page. I blocked jerkface from my FB page months ago, but the rest of my friends and family will see it.
I sometimes feel guilt, like I should be sitting at home waiting for my H. But I cant imagine I really have to spend the rest of my life with a man who has humiliated me for 20 years with lots of OW. I dont know how to describe how it feels to have a boyfriend who i am pretty sure has no OW. Just me. I am good enough just the way I am. I dont even need to follow 37 rules (but I fully admit I DB Chris every day).
I wish so much that my M would have lasted. I will never get to the point where I no longer wish for that. But I did not realize how unhappy I have been for so many years now that i wake up happy, spend the day pretty happy and fall asleep happy almost every night.
The door on my m is barely ajar anymore. I will not leave Chris for my M. The only chance my M has now of any life is if my R with Chris dies a natural death. And most R do die a natural death.
I am banking on one of 2 outcomes. 1. Chris and I live happily ever after. or 2. Chris and I have fun and part on good terms at the end of a normal R, and by that time jerkface does his own major 180's.
But to be honest, God has a wicked sense of humor and I really have no idea what She has in store for me next
You are such an inspiration Mona. I'm so pleased that you are doing well. You are a SUCCESS to me. I wish you all the best :-)
It's nice to read of the joy you've found. Be well Mona, I miss you.
Karaoke tonight
I go with S12 and D15.
My S loves it! It is at a bar, but it is family night so there are kids everywhere. My S sings Kryptonite and all the younger girls follow him around. It is weird because as soon as I walk into the bar, a swarm of kids all run up to me and hug me. I dont even know these kids, but they hang around me and S all night.
They told me at the bar that before i came, no one ever danced, now we dance all night. I think the kids swarm me because I dance with them. All I know is that we have so much fun. My D15 goes but she does not like karaoke, so she just kinda sits there. But she does not sulk. She is happy to be there because she knows it makes me happy that she come with me.
D17 is not invited anymore. I am sick and tired of watching her sulk and wine because she does not like it so I leave her at home.
Chris works on Wednesday's so he never comes with me
However... Brian (the guy I dance with on Fridays) has been threatening to come. I like going out places with Brian because he has this way of giving me 100% of his attention. Even when he sits beside me he makes sure he is close enough our legs and arms are touching. It is nothing inappropriate, it is just nice that he is so confident and present the whole time.
My girlfriend Diane has come a few times and may come tonight.
I have also been there enough that I know a bunch of the regulars. And they are even starting to get up and dance and talk to me.
Then there is Tom and Al. They are in their 80's and they always put their name on my dance card.
The truth be told, the people who come are not pretty or glamorous. They sing terribly. They dance horribly. They wear jeans and ripped t-shirts when they dress up. Most are way older than me, or way younger than me. The food is bad. I am probably the only non-smoker in the room. There is zero chance the people there have all of their original teeth
Yet, I LOVE Wednesday nights so much. I dont need to take my kids out to some place fun. I am fun. I dont need to surround them with glamour. We are glamorous. I dont even like singing karaoke, I sound bad. But I always choose songs that make me smile and make people at the least tap their foot. So I cant see of feel any of the bad. I only smile and laugh and have fun.
Thank God I was able to hold my children close as we tried karaoke. Because of them supporting me, I was able to learn that happiness and fun were not something i needed to go find. They were something I needed to create. And I was able to create fun and pleasure in almost any environment. And I needed to depend on NO ONE to do it just right.
I love the time you share with your kids there and the joy you share together.
Karaoke tonight
I go with S12 and D15.
My S loves it! It is at a bar, but it is family night so there are kids everywhere. My S sings Kryptonite and all the younger girls follow him around. It is weird because as soon as I walk into the bar, a swarm of kids all run up to me and hug me. I dont even know these kids, but they hang around me and S all night.
They told me at the bar that before i came, no one ever danced, now we dance all night. I think the kids swarm me because I dance with them. All I know is that we have so much fun. My D15 goes but she does not like karaoke, so she just kinda sits there. But she does not sulk. She is happy to be there because she knows it makes me happy that she come with me.
D17 is not invited anymore. I am sick and tired of watching her sulk and wine because she does not like it so I leave her at home.
Chris works on Wednesday's so he never comes with me
However... Brian (the guy I dance with on Fridays) has been threatening to come. I like going out places with Brian because he has this way of giving me 100% of his attention. Even when he sits beside me he makes sure he is close enough our legs and arms are touching. It is nothing inappropriate, it is just nice that he is so confident and present the whole time.
My girlfriend Diane has come a few times and may come tonight.
I have also been there enough that I know a bunch of the regulars. And they are even starting to get up and dance and talk to me.
Then there is Tom and Al. They are in their 80's and they always put their name on my dance card.
The truth be told, the people who come are not pretty or glamorous. They sing terribly. They dance horribly. They wear jeans and ripped t-shirts when they dress up. Most are way older than me, or way younger than me. The food is bad. I am probably the only non-smoker in the room. There is zero chance the people there have all of their original teeth
Yet, I LOVE Wednesday nights so much. I dont need to take my kids out to some place fun. I am fun. I dont need to surround them with glamour. We are glamorous. I dont even like singing karaoke, I sound bad. But I always choose songs that make me smile and make people at the least tap their foot. So I cant see of feel any of the bad. I only smile and laugh and have fun.
Thank God I was able to hold my children close as we tried karaoke. Because of them supporting me, I was able to learn that happiness and fun were not something i needed to go find. They were something I needed to create. And I was able to create fun and pleasure in almost any environment. And I needed to depend on NO ONE to do it just right.
I love all of this. I am a karaoke nerd--and I am learning to be more comfortable with dancing in public. Throw in time with the kids and this sounds like an ideal night!
I wish so much that my M would have lasted. I will never get to the point where I no longer wish for that. But I did not realize how unhappy I have been for so many years now that i wake up happy, spend the day pretty happy and fall asleep happy almost every night.
...
But to be honest, God has a wicked sense of humor and I really have no idea what She has in store for me next
I hope to be where you are soon. I know I have so much happiness and creativity inside me, but the rejection and disapproval I face every day from H is crushing my spirit. I spent 4 months away a while back and it was like I found myself again.
I wish I could figure out why we are so bad for each other and fix it, but I have to face the fact that I can't.
And I love your last remark!
Love this!! Good for you for finding your own sense of joy and light, especially in the middle of pain and relational chaos.
You're awesome Mona, and I'm sure your kids appreciate now but will also look back and know just how hard it was for you and how you made it amazing for them despite your own pain.
This post warmed my heart!
Big hug to you,
PP
Mona, I never posted on your thread, but I have Read a few of them.
YOU ARE AWESOME! I love your outlook and confidence and the way in which you have overcome hardships. (You even still do favors for your husband ) You don't just talk the talk.
My goal (from 8 months ago ) has always been to try to become more positive in my way of thinking. I want to be happy regardless of my situation. I want to have fun again. I know rationally that we are in charge of our thoughts, but I have trouble implementing this and being consistent with it (except when I am at work)
I think I am going to catch up on how you have been able to accomplish this. I think you are one of the most inspirational of posters. Thank you.
Julie
Thanks Rouky!! You always make me feel amazing.
Thanks Mut, I love the time as well! The last time i went through this mess, I grabbed onto my kids so tightly and appreciated them every single night. At the end of my days I will not look back and say they grew up so quick and I missed it,because I was so focused on them every day
Thanks mustardseed! I am the opposite I think. I can dance anywhere but singing is hard for me, lol. But it is still lovely.
Painter you dont have to hope to be where I am. That is 100% in your control
((((PP)))) Thanks for stopping by. Your hugs are the bestest!!
JujuB, even though you dont want to, go do stuff with other people. And while there, force belly laughs as much as possible. I did not want to go anywhere at first. And the places I went to were full of old people and not cool people. But I went. I found one thing I was good at and built on that. And when I spoke to these new people, I tried to force myself to joke and laugh as much as possible. Soon, what I was forcing myself to do was really what I wanted to do. That turned into what I would die NOT to do, and now I cant imagine NOT doing what I do.
I did not want to go anywhere at first. And the places I went to were full of old people and not cool people. But I went. I found one thing I was good at and built on that. And when I spoke to these new people, I tried to force myself to joke and laugh as much as possible. Soon, what I was forcing myself to do was really what I wanted to do. That turned into what I would die NOT to do, and now I cant imagine NOT doing what I do.
And that is why you rock.
Maximum drama this weekend.
My criminal sister is completely out of control. We went to her PO and asked for help because she is always completely high, and she burglarizes houses all day and night now.
She took her daughter's cards and spent every single penny her daughter had in her 5 checking and savings accounts. Her D is 24 and is a single mom with a GED. Her D allows my sis, her husband and their five small boys to live with her, her new girlfriend and her S7.
My sis keeps stealing all the money in the house, now my niece and my sis's H have no idea how rent will get paid.
My sis threatened to burn the house down with the kids in it while everyone slept at night multiple times.
We went to her PO in Friday. He said he would not do anything until Monday (today).
Yesterday she spent the morning threatening her H and my niece (her own D). She threatened to kill everyone in the house. We went to the police. They cant help they said. Unless she actually hurts someone, they cannot help.
By 9:30 last night I felt we tried everything we could legally. She showed up at her house. My niece texted me. My niece gave her 15 minutes to say goodbye to her kids, and then she had to leave. She could not stay there. My sis never speaks to her kids anymore, but last night she HAD to read to them...
I got in my car and was ready to go to jail last night. I was not interested in removing her from the house or trying again to talk her into rehab. I prayed the whole time I was racing there that she stayed right where she was. I was not going to lay my head on my pillow last night until I put her in the hospital.
All I could see was red. I could not think clearly, and I was actually happy I was finally able to get rid of some of the hurt and betrayal my sis heaped on top of me over the years.
She left 2 minutes before I got there.
I felt so frustrated and unsatisfied today. It was so bad I woke up way before the sun and and could not fall back to sleep.
I did the strangest thing to make me feel better.
Chris's father broke his ankle a few days ago. I dont really know Chris's family yet, but as old as Chris is, he father cant be a spring chicken. I can imagine a broken ankle will make his life very difficult for a while. Today is Monday, and every Monday I drive up to Chris's house, which is right down the street from his father's house.
So this morning, before the crack of dawn, I made a bunch of roast beef sandwiches, potato salad, macaroni salad and cup cakes. Now I have a bag of food I will give to Chris and he can give it to his dad to make his life a tiny bit better.
Literally, I started making the sandwiches by ripping the bread apart and throwing the beef on the bread, grumbling under my breath, yelling at the dog to leave me alone. I burnt my fingers cutting up the potatoes and I think that was what finally started to snap me out of my anger. When my fingers burnt I felt like saying "forget this, he doesn't need potato salad!" But then I really started thinking about him not being able to cook dinner and him eating the sandwich, which would be fine to eat with plain old chips. Then I pictured him with the potato salad and maybe he would really like it and think it tasted good. Finally I was able to pull my mind off my sis and focus on helping someone else and by the time I woke my kids up I was ALMOST back to normal.
I was not completely back to normal. I did scream at my eldest daughter this morning, but she was being a complete spoiled brat.
I am at work now and I am feeling like myself, under control. I still feel disappointed.
Chris has been an absolute wonder this weekend. He was so attentive and romantic and happy. He took me to dinner and I bought movie tickets. Even though he is not a huge comic book fan, and even though I saw it before, he went with me to see Deadpool again. OMG that movie is hilarious! I had the best night. It is so nice to go over there and spend a few hours NOT as mommy or bill payer or daughter or emergency fixer or any of the other titles that wear me down. He has zero expectations for me so I can just relax and enjoy myself for a few hours.
My H texted me while I was on my way to see Chris on Saturday. I ignored his text until Sunday morning when I got home. Then my H blew me away.
In case you dont remember...
We lived in the city. In august I kicked my H out. He moved in with my mom. My mom lives in a house with actual grass, in the city me and the kids lived in the middle of a row of homes.
My mom wanted to move in with her BF. So H moved out of my mom's house and Me and the kids moved in.
But I am still paying rent on the house in the city. I still have a lot of stuff in there and it is very hard for me to move it all myself. SO I have been moving a little bit at a time.
My H flat out refused to help me at all.
Until...
Sunday he sent me a text saying in April, he was going to get his sons to go in and clear out the rest of the house!
I dont believe him of course, lol. But it was a nice nice text.
I am going to use the money I will save on rent and file for the D myself. I really want my old name back and I really want to be divorced. I am not saying I am done with my M.
ooops, I must have hit submit by mistake...
anyway...
I am 100% done with my old M and I want it killed officially. as soon as possible.
Once I am divorced and truly free, the I will plan the future.
Hey Mona,
I must have missed out on a lot of stuff.
Sorry to hear about your sis but yay about Chris!
Reading this just puts me in awe of you and makes me love you even more! I want dibbs on you!
You are such a kind and loving soul to think of others when so much is going on around you.
(((Mona)))
OMG, Did you call dibbs on me?????
What an amazing Monday!
Well,I just got into a fight with my H.
I will claim a certain amount of fault for it, but not 100%.
My H, out of the blue offered to help me move our stuff out of the house. I am sorry, but this is SO far out of character for him that I started to wonder what he was really up to.
It occurred to me that he wanted the house cleared to help my sis.
SO...
I texted him and thanked him for the help, but told him that if he was helping me for my sis, I would prosecute to the fullest extent of the law.
Well, golly gee, guess what happened. Me saying I dont trust him hurt his feelings...
Now he is all upset because I hurt his feelings. He said when I was ready to trust him, he would be my friend again.
I told him I will not blindly trust him and I was sorry he could not understand how I feel.
I also told him i was not surprised he could not understand how I feel and when he was ready to accept me, as I am, and accept the fact that I do not trust then he could think of a friendship with me, but I was not even going to try and change for him. I am who I am.
It is always amazing how the people who beat you up are always shocked and hurt when you finally protect yourself from it.
Lol, my child of a h made a mistake yesterday. I cannot tell if he did it on purpose or not, but it does not matter either way.
We had that spat where I hurt his poor feelings because I said I did not trust him. He said we cant be friends until I am ready to trust him. I told him I will not trust him and if he wanted my friendship he would have to take me as-is and not expect me to trust him. And if he could not do that then I did not need him as a friend.
His answering reply was cryptic.
"I accept that"
I had no idea what that meant, but I did not really care. The fact is he needs me and I dont need him. The fact is he behaved VERY badly for 20 years and I have not. The fact is, I do not OWE him anything, he, however owes me so much more than I will ever receive. The fact is, I deserve friends who are happy with me exactly who I am and do not want me to change a single thing.
I guess his reply meant that he accepts the fact I do not trust him, because while I was cooking dinner I got a text:
H: Have you watched sons of anarchy series?
H: If not, you really have to watch it. It's freaking awesome. Not a show for the kids lol
H: Its on Netflix. Trust me, you will love it.
H: Another one I started watching on xfinity is Viking. D@mn good show.
I have no idea where this outpouring of words came from, but this is what I got yesterday.
The last few days he has been texting more and more about nothing.
AND THEN...
About an hour after those text messages:
H: I'm home baby. All yours :*
yep. The idiot texted me when he meant to text his girlfriend...
I sent him a text back letting him know he texted me by accident.
H: Ugh sry
H: I'm so sry
I wont lie, it was very very painful. I got the text when i was in the car. I had to drive an hour and a half away so I had time to face the fact, feel the pain, and get over it before the end of the car ride. It did not send me into a tail spin. It did not make me cry.
This morning I thought about it again, but it was not my first waking thought. I had two hours of good thoughts on other things before I even remembered his mistake.
My traitor mind keeps going back to that text, but I am easily able to refocus on other things.
Chris bought me a small pair of earrings last night. I am not a girly girl that care about jewelry. If he never bought me so much as a ring I would not care. But, he went out and picked a pair of earrings that perfectly matches the necklace he got me, so it was very very sweet. The earrings came with a card saying how amazing I am.
So, I can easily push any action from jerkface right out of my head.
It would be easier to keep jerkface out of my head if he would quit texting me!
H: Hey. I am so sry about yesterday. I feel absolutely horrible. I understand if you don't ever want to talk to me again
Is he serious? Ya know what? I think he was still under the belief I had NO IDEA there was an OW, lol
Could he have done something like that on purpose to see if he gets a reaction from you?
Glad to have made your Monday! Well, you've made quite a few of my days so this is really nothing.
You can only go upwards and onwards.
OMG! Jerkface is such an idiot for the wrong text! I am so sorry!!!
I wish I could smack him on your behalf. Mona, jerkface is such a jerk and an idiot. And I really think that he should be certified legally blind what not seeing what a good catch you are!
(((Mona)))
Made it to Wednesday! I am officially falling behind on my life because I am doing fun things. Not just guys, but lots and lots of kid time. Now I am trying to catch up on work and it is painfully hard to concentrate. Tonight is karaoke with S12 and D15. How can I edit a manuscript when I have to figure out what I can sing to both impress my kids and NOT make a total fool out of me?
I have a ton of actual work to do, but there is so much work that I have no idea where to begin so I just hopped over here
But I am not worried. (Warning I am about to admit to poor parenting, lol) Last night D15 comes to me. She had 2 months to research and finish a paper due today. And when I say last night, I mean 11 PM of course. She handed me the rubric and I handed her the paper, with references 15 minutes later, lol. So I can get my silly work done. I just cant focus on it because I have so much going on in my life.
I sent my sister to a halfway house in a different city yesterday. She wont hurt her children or our family anymore. My mom does not know. But once she finds out, she is gonna flip. She will be so pissed at me she might kick me and the kids out. That would be FANTASTIC! I hate living there, and I still pay rent on my house.
No word from jerkface so I am sure that means he is not coming to karaoke tonight. S12 wants him to come so badly. But that is out of my control. With as much as he has been trying to talk to me lately, I sort of thought he would come. That was my fault for raising my expectation. He sounded to proud the other day when he told me he actually texted the kids.
Its the middle of the week so I will have very little contact with Chris. He lives far away and only has off Sunday and Mondays so during the week we dont talk much. A few weeks ago it used to drive me crazy that he did not text me all the time during the week.
I knew it was unhealthy for me to need him to text me and even way more unhealthy that I spiraled into depression when he did not. I would of course think he was with an other woman. then I would think he is not capable of filling my needs because I need more text messages.
I did not let him see my crazy, but it was horribly there. I knew I was acting badly (in my head at least). I knew I was just holding on to the insecurities that i feel because my m died. But just because i knew what I was doing, that did not mean I could fix it.
It was hard. Minute by minute I had to remind myself that my feelings were not rational. Chris does not need to text me every five minutes. That does not mean I will spend the rest of my life ugly, penniless and alone. He is not seeing other women.
I made it to the other side of my crazy now. I did not text him at all last night, or today yet. And I have no inner turmoil about it. If I need a text, I have a bunch of friends I can text any time of the day or night. Literally, there is ALWAYS someone there, lol.
What I have to keep figuring out is how to get my needs met. I need to stop forcing life to meet my needs only in the way I think they should be met. For example, I want Chris to text me more. The actual need I have is that I get a few text messages sprinkled throughout the day to let me know someone care about my day. It would be nice if that were Chris, but I need to learn to get my need met and not force the who and how.
It is also getting complicated because Chris is moving so fast. I have told him it is all too fast. He tells me he knows he is freaking me out. He stopped with the ILY because he saw that it really bothered me. It is MWD's fault he is moving so fast. I have studied everything under the sun about R. I have started this with Chris obsessively searching for what he likes. Fill his needs the way he wants and not the way I feel his needs should be met. It has had outstanding results. His head is spinning half the time. That is not a terrible thing, but I feel like I am painting myself into a corner for the future.
I am not ready to kill the idea of R at some point years from now. But I am also not ready to end anything with Chris. I went into this telling him I was not looking for commitment and now I feel he is speeding in that direction.
I think I will sit down and have another heart to heart with him on Monday. My goal will be for him to relax, have fun and not put too much pressure on making it a committed R yet.
Now I HAVE to get some work done. I have to get off FB and this forum and put my nose to the grindstone.
jerkface texted me real late last night. He is not happy and not happy with me.
He texted me instead of his gf a couple days ago and felt so bad about it. Then, on Wednesday, he sent me a text saying he cant make it to Karaoke. I dont know why he sent the text because he has never sent a text any other week telling me he was not coming.
His text was not really a question, so I did not reply.
He was not happy I did not reply.
So I got the text last night
H: I have a tough question. Would you be willing to go half on the court costs and filing fees for the divorce.
I am sure he was expecting me to balk. Say no. Tell him, yet again, I dont want a D. Instead...
Me: Sounds great, Is next Friday okay? That is payday. Can we sign that 10 day waiver thing to get it done more quickly?
After a while...
H: idk, let me look into it.
Me: Thank you for filing
H: Yes, I know you want this done
-------
I dont, but I did not say it because I have already told him a million times I dont want a D. But, my pride did not allow me to end the conversation with him pushing this on me so...
Me: Lol yeah right...
I have mixed feelings about this. My m died a while ago. Pulling the plug is the nicest thing to do for everyone involved. I am excited to see where things might go with Chris or maybe even Brian if Chris does not work out.
But I am sad I am getting a D. I am sad he had A's. I am sad I was wronged and forced into this.
I am very nervous about the kids interacting with Chris. Since I now see Chris 3 out of every 7 days, I think it is time they all meet. Chris is a shy guy, and I know this will be uncomfortable for him. I am not sure how to make this go smooth for him.
The more I think about the D, the more I change from sadness to kinda excited. I LOVE LOVE my maiden name sooo much more than my married name. I really am happy to change that. I am happy to be completely independent of anyone. I can do anything in the world I want to do.
-------------
While typing this reply jerkface texted me to let me know we can expedite the D if we pay a little more. By we pay he means I pay for the extra...
I told him i would drop the money off for the D tomorrow. You will never guess what his reply was.
H: Can you pick me up a pack or 2 of ciggs?
HAHAHAHA
What a loser.
OMG, I am going to have the biggest D party. If all goes well, I will be d by April 9th.
I have 2 big trips happening in April
Looks like when I go to Washington, I will be D'ed. When I go to Vegas I will be D'ed. I am SOOOOOO getting M again in Vegas! If i can find the right Elvis that is.
--------------------------
Anyway... Today is Friday and my workday ends in 13 minutes. Brian will be waiting to dance with me, but first I will go with mt group of friends to eat some dinner. And... I never see Chris on Friday, but there was a death in his family and I am going to head up to his house at 11:30 PM when he gets off work to show him some support
Saturday he is taking me to a dance.
Sunday is Easter, I dont know if I will see him, but I probably will.
Monday I will go back up to see him again. I never get to see him 4 days in one week. Weird. And it all starts tonight! in 15 short minutes. yey!
I hope you all have a Happy Easter no matter who you are with or what you are doing!
Happy Easter to you Mona. Have a great time.
Mona, you're one brave woman. You sound like you're going onwards and upwards. Whoever gets to be in a R with you is one helluva lucky guy.
My h texted me and asked me to pay for the D. Over the weekend I told him I was dropping off the money for the D. He asked if i could buy him 2 packs of ciggs as well.
I did, but I am done. I know I am done because I dont even feel bad about any of it.
H texted me on Sunday to say Happy Easter and I did not really care. I replied Happy Easter and told him to have a good day at work and went about my day.
He should go in and file the D papers any minute now, so I am hoping for a text soon saying the divorce is filed. I paid the extra money to expedite it and waive the waiting period.
I have something working and I dont want my H to take any of it from me, so I really need the d to go through asap or he could possibly sue me and get more money from me.
I am not stealing anything from him. I did research, and I may win an award. He does not deserve this, it is not his.
I am also a little worried he will find out I work three jobs now and take me in for spousal support. I only work these jobs because he gives me next to nothing for child support. But, if he takes me in, he will win i think.
So I neeeeeed this divorce to be done and over. This waiting is making me so anxious. I have a constant knot in my belly, like I played hookie from school and I dont want my parents to find out.
---------------------------------------------------
My new guy is also causing a bit of stress on me. That sounds selfish to say once I tell you what is wrong, but I am not being selfish to him. I come here to be selfish
He is suffering from depression. He gets help and leads a normal life because he has learned to manage it properly. However... in the week all three of his kids had major issues he had to deal with. His 16 year old is in trouble with the magistrate, his D19 could not take her driver's text due to a mental breakdown on the day of the test where she could not stop crying and just said over and over to him "Help me daddy, I am just so sad all of the time. Help me daddy".
Then he had major issues with his supervisors at work and was stressed out completely.
And just when he thought nothing else could go wrong, his D23 found her bf dead on her sofa from a heroine overdose. From what I understand he was not a drug addict and he was a saint to his D. He got up every morning and made her coffee, even when he was sick. He put her first in all things and he was so good for her. Everyone loved him and his death is tragic for all involved.
my new guy may be able to keep his depression under control in a normal, every day setting, but this has all spiraled him quickly into being so sad.
Thanks to DB I think I am able to navigate these waters and not drown in them. I understand why he is sad, and I also understand I cant fix ANY of his problems. I cant pull him out of a depression.
I am offering him support by letting him know I will listen if he needs to talk. I have asked him a few questions to try and get him to open up, but not a lot. This is his issue to deal with and I cant deal with it for him. So I am letting him know I am here, but I have pulled my focus way back to myself.
The best thing I can do for him to to take care of myself and stay happy myself. When he is ready to join me, I am here, but I cant go where he is.
Thanks Rouky!
Thanks JksD!
I admire how you analyse things and move on with your life. I'm sorry to hear about your new guy problems but I think you are wise to step back, offer him to listen to him but at the same time not trying to fix his problems.
Please let us know about the award :-)!
I did not win the award
But that is okay, I will just move on to the next bigger, better thing.
My D was filed yesterday. I have no idea what happens now.
I am okay. I have good friends and a new guy that makes me feel special. As long as I have that how can I not be okay.
Sorry to hear about the award, I'm sure you have done your best and just to be nominated for an award is in my view already a win :-)!
Glad to read that you are ok. You are an amazing woman and I think of you as a role model and I hope that I'll be in a similar place as you in the near future :-)
(((Mona)))
Your H is such a fool to leave you. Fools are as fools do.
Sorry about the issues Chris is facing. I think you're right to offer him support without trying to fix his life for him.
Two worlds collided with me on Sunday, lol
On Fridays I like to go out dancing with a group of friends. However, Lately, Brian has been dancing solely with me all night. Nothing weird has ever happened, he is a perfect gentleman. Not only that, he is a great dancer. We look very very good together. Great chemistry while dancing. It is amazing to me how we move in sync perfectly. I am the only woman there able to match his step no matter where he places his foot. I started dancing with Brian before I started seeing Chris.
I have been 100% upfront with Chris about Brian since day one. I keep no secrets from Chris, he even knows about you guys and the help I get on this forum, but he never comes here.
But Brian does not know I am dating Chris. I never tried to hide it from him. We just never, ever talk about things that are too personal. Brian has seen me with Chris before, so he knew I was with him a few times. But Chris and I are very exclusive right now.
Yesterday I went to a dance with Chris and Brian was there
It was a little awkward. The reason is, Brian usually comes to these dances with other women, but this time he did not and I think he wanted to turn to me as his dance partner. But I was close to Chris the whole time. And I had a ball. I wore a very low cut dress which is out of character for me and both boys were a little shocked.
I am feeling guilt today when i think of Brian and I am not sure why. I am not dating Brian, and we dont even sit together at the dance. We just dance with each other.
I think the reason is I was starting to very much enjoy our conversations together and I have a fear he will leave me since I am not perfect. What I mean is, me not being single and free in my head means I did something wrong, therefore I am not perfect. So I feel I did something wrong to Brian.
I did not do anything wrong to Brian at all. So I am talking myself into not feeling guilt when I am not wrong, but it is so hard. I always take on guilt.
Anyway, I just had a magical weekend with Chris. He asked me to move in with him. He knew I would say no. He knew there was zero chance. He just tells me every day how happy he is that I came into his life. He calls me an Angel straight from heaven multiple times a day. And he continues to say he will find a way to be worthy of me.
Yes he is moving fast, but I am pretty sure I have my head securely on. He is acting this way because I have so much to offer him, including a ton of love. However. I am still not 100% sure he can offer me as much in return. I do know that I keep asking him to stop buying me gifts and flowers and stop trying to be better, because I never asked him to change a thing, he still wakes up every day and tries to be a better person.
One of my biggest complaints about H is he never tried. He never tried to help me or make anything better. He just expected me to do it. And here is Chris, trying so damn hard every day. And me trying to appreciate it, but not let it change my life yet. it is hard, because he just appreciates what I do sooo much. His enthusiasm is incredible. And I could easily get pulled in by that. Because it is a little heady... and nice... and I have been starving for it for so many years...
And the more he appreciates what I do, the more I want to do more. Same with him. The more I say thank you for the tiny things he does, the more tiny things he does. And he is trying to do things my way. He is always asking if I like this, or that. Do I like it better this way or that way. He hears my rely and acts on it.
Anyway, I will just take it one day at a time and enjoy what I am being given.
I am glad your life has taken a turn for the positive. You are a fine woman and deserve much better then what you got in the past. Enjoy each day
Good to hear such sweet updates, Mona. You deserve every bit of sweetness that Chris is giving to you, and then some.
Chris and I think alike- you are an angel!
I am heading to Vegas in a few days...
It hit me that if I were still M to jerkface, i would be in my room for the whole weekend, smoking and playing on the computer.
Instead.. I am going out with great friends on Friday, grabbing a few hours of sleep, and hopping on a plane to Vegas for a great, great group of friends.
When I get back on Monday, i am permanently solving a personal issue that causes much stress. I would have never solved this if I were m. and then spending the night with Chris, who will give me flowers, or a small piece of jewelry (nothing expensive) or a stuffed animal. He gave me a Thor doll last week. It was one of those POP dolls, and unless you are a nerd, you wont understand, but those POP dolls are like nerd candy. He had no idea how well he did.
I dont want him to spend his money on me, and i ask him not to, but it feels really good to know that there is a person who wants me in his life so badly that he is constantly putting in effort to make sure i feel appreciated and loved and happy.
On Sunday, he was in a bad mood. He is dealing with stress at work and with his kids and like a normal human, he was stressed and grumpy.
I am not good at grumpy. So I was still my happy self. We went to a dance and I had a hard time sitting in my seat because he did not want to dance. I asked him a bunch of times to dance with me and he said he did not want to dance yet.
Another guy came over and asked me to dance and I went to dance with him. Chris got up and asked a different girl to dance. I was not mad, but he was in such a mood that he wanted to fight. We have never had a fight before.
I asked him why he would dance with her and not me and he said it was because I was up dancing with another guy.
(real quick back story... I met Chris at a singles dance, and the dance we went to on Sunday was a singles dance, and it is perfectly normal for guys to ask the women to dance. I hate these singles dances, because i dont feel single and I dont want other guys asking me to dance. Chris knows this, but he likes these dances because he knows everyone. I told him i cant hurt a guys feelings by refusing to dance, i just cant be mean like that.)
I told him i did not want to dance with any other guy, I wanted to dance with him but he kept saying no. He replied that I was in a bad mood.
At first I was sad. Chris and I always have so much fun together. I tried not to show how sad I was, but he saw. Then I refocused on different things, like my school and trip to vegas, and that thing Chris did a few nights ago. In less than a minute I was back to my normal, happy self. Poor poor Chris was still in a bad mood. Finally he said he just wanted to go home. I said fine and I left and he left. We each got into our cars and I was about to drive home. He blocked me from leaving and asked if I wanted to go back to his house (which is normally where I go after the dances).
This was a hard decision for me. I was in no mood to hang around a grump. I did not want to fight with him, because I would win. I did not want to win. But I did not want to go home. I missed the hell out of him.
I acted as if he was not in a bad mood, and I followed him to his house. He was so grumpy that he lost me on the way, but i dont need him, i have a GPS
I made it to his house maybe 10 minutes after he did.
He was still grumpy. We had a normal evening, which is about all I can post
So now, I am like a queen. I went home later, but the next morning he woke up and realized what a complete douche we was. He was so apologetic for being moody and saying mean things and was utterly amazed that i completely let him off the hook for all of it. I cant count how many times he said how he is the luckiest guy in the world. He told me how he went to work and told his friends what a terrible person he was and how sweet i was.
I was not amazing or sweet or any of it. But the fact that he keeps saying those things makes me FEEL amazing and sweet. I dont know how i got along for so many years without someone telling me I am an angel. But now that he does this, I dont ever want to live without it.
Oh Yeah... i have an update on the M front too.
I gave my h the money for the d. I gave him extra money because he said if we pay extra they can expedite it, and I gave him 2 packs of cigarettes. I called the courthouse to see why i was not served yet...
He never filed... he took my money and never filed.
Ms Mona, you are ah-mazing! And you deserve every bit of sweetness and love you are getting. And after-dance limes.
Hope you have a fabulous time in Vegas!
I cannot believe H took your money and never filed!!!!
Did you have a good time in Vegas? How are you?