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A new thread for a new life phase

Posted By: Dawn70

A new thread for a new life phase - 09/18/15 08:47 PM

[color:#FF0000]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...;gonew=1#UNREAD[color:#FF0000][/color][/color]

Thanks, Job, for giving me the heads up on my numbers so I knew to post a new thread. I don't ever pay attention to that. LOL

Anyway, here is a new thread for what is a new and happier phase of my life. I posted this morning so not much has changed since then, but just wanted to start this new one so I can move on ahead.
Posted By: Vanilla

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 09/18/15 09:07 PM

I posted on your old thread

V
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 09/19/15 02:49 PM

Thanks for the post, V! I saw it last night actually and had to have some time to just reflect on all you said and think about everything.

I appreciated that exercise and it was helpful to visualize him in a different light so that I'm not controlled by him. That was very helpful to just sit and think about.

You asked what my story is with him. I look at him now and see a completely different (and far less likable) person than the man I fell for and married. He's just not the same, almost as if he is tainted now. Which is a weird way of saying it, but it helps me to think of it that way.

Though I have no clue what will happen with New Guy and as I have already said, even if no romance occurs, I will at least have a good friend from my past back in my life, our little flirtation has shown me that there will be a love life after divorce and that I can find a spark with someone. I will be forever grateful to him for that and he might not ever even know it. LOL

Lots to think about, but I'm just trying to go into tomorrow with my head held high. My mom told me to go and have fun and not worry about it because HE will be the odd man out since he removed himself from all of us. We shall see.

Either way, I'm going to enjoy my grandbabies birthdays and that can either be with him or in spite of him.
Posted By: gonegrl

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 09/19/15 02:54 PM

Dawn, I think you are doing great. Have a great time at the party!
Posted By: Vanilla

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 09/19/15 08:11 PM

OK you mention tainted. Great word.

Can you imagine XWH covered in poo.......

And rotting away with leprosy, I joke of course, but if it made you smile and created a pink elephant, then hold that thought.

V
Posted By: Sotto

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 09/20/15 07:19 AM

Hi Dawn, just to let you know I'll be thinking of you today and hoping things go well. I'm sure it will feel a little strange to see your XH. Like me, you haven't seen your former partner for a while now and there is much distance. But equally, they are intensely familiar to you. It's a strange thing.

But, you will get through the day and keep moving forward in your life I am sure. Plus, it is nice that you have a newly re-established friendship with a little spark.

Take care xx
Posted By: Vanilla

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 09/20/15 08:31 AM

Sending you rainbow strength

V
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 09/23/15 07:19 PM

Thanks, y'all! I'm so grateful for the support I receive on this page. You all are my strength and sometimes my voice of reason. Isn't it funny that we, as a group of strangers, form these bonds from our shared experiences and help each other through something so painful and difficult. I'm so happy I found this place when I did.

XH has been in town and I had my first encounter with him Sunday. He was friendly and it wasn't too bad. He wanted to come see Molly on Monday so I let him. We talked some things out and I learned that he is a delusional a$$hole. Wow....

Long story short, he still cares for me, but can't stay in touch with me because his girlfriend has a crazy ex and he can't very well fuss at her for talking to her ex if he's still talking to me. I'm fine with the whole no contact thing myself.

He was working really hard to get me to feel sorry for him, trying to tell me about his woes with his girlfriend. He still claims it isn't that serious but then turned around and said they have started talking about marriage. So, he's not only delusional, but he's clearly still a liar.

As much as I was dreading having to see him, it gave me the closure I really needed. I don't even have to imagine him as tainted anymore, V, because I do just feel sorry for him. He's clearly lost his mind. I could fill up several posts telling all the details of our conversation but the long and short of it is that he did me a favor, by showing me his true colors and I feel better than I have in a long time.

New guy has shown me that I might find a spark again. Even if he stops talking to me today, I will have that knowledge and can move forward knowing it. I also had a guy who I graduated from high school with look me up out of the blue on facebook last night and ask me to call him, so I did and we talked for over 2 hours. This was after I spent 4 1/2 hours on the phone with New guy the night before. I'm not rushing anything or even looking for anything, but it is nice to just have a little single male attention....even if it is just friends.

I know not everyone is religious and I'm not trying to shove anything down anyone's throat, but I have always believed that God puts people in our lives at the right time for the right reason and today..........today I'm grateful that he has put 2 old friends right squarely in my path to remind me that I can laugh and talk and be at ease with a nice man and it be a really comfortable thing. And, even if I don't get anything more than that from either of them, friendship is ALWAYS a good thing.

Life is about to get so good I won't be able to stand myself. LOL Thanks to my fellow DBers for being on this journey with me. smile
Posted By: Sotto

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 09/24/15 12:03 PM

Hi Dawn, I'm glad you made it through the weekend unscathed. From what you post, your XH sounds rather all over the place. He says he can't keep in touch due to OW's crazy X....but he forgets he was trying to keep in touch and getting no response from you. He says it's not that serious but they're talking about marriage.....strange.

Anyway, it sounds as though he unwittingly helped you with closure and I'm pleased for you. I imagine you were the picure of serenity, grace and strength throughout. And well done to you. I feel pretty strong not seeing my H. I have no idea how I would cope if I did see him...

As for your rekindled male friendships, I would say just keep it light and enjoy yourself. If you want to go out to dinner with them both, let them know and enjoy the new friendships (perhaps with a little spark thrown in.) But you are all settled in your lovely place with Molly, lots of love in your life and an enriching job. There's no need to rush into a new heavy commitment.....just enjoy life.

As always, I feel inspired when reading your thread. I am still working towards where you are at. xx
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 09/24/15 03:55 PM

Strange, indeed, Sotto...I just don't know. But, I did get the closure I needed from it all because I just don't need the drama.

As far as the rekindled friendships, right now, they are just GAL for me. No plans, no commitments, not even really a hint of anything beyond friendship at this point. I will continue to visit with both of them as friends and just sit back and see what happens. Both have been divorced, so know what it is like, so that is nice to be able to talk to them about things.

I don't NEED a man to take care of me, but having a man to do fun things with on occasion sounds very appealing. smile
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 09/25/15 09:26 PM

I firmly believe that God puts things and people in our path when we need them the most. My friend from high school called again last night and this time we talked for almost 4 hours. It was just so nice to have someone to talk and laugh with and just not think about much of anything.

That is really helping me keep my mind off XH and his new woman because she is now here too and I know they have been all over town having fun and him introducing her to everyone. Fortunately, I have not bumped into them yet and I'm so very grateful for that. But there again, that proves my theory that God takes care of us, because I have been so wrapped up talking to my "new" old friends that I haven't really had much time for anything else this week.

Do you hear that....it is the sound of happiness heading my way. smile
Posted By: Sotto

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 09/26/15 07:16 AM

Dawn, I think it already arrived smile

Nice to be in touch with old school friends. As you say, distracts from what was always going to be a bit of a tough week. Good that you haven't bumped in to them and the week will soon be over. Anyway - who knows if they are having fun. It could all be quite a strain for them - we just never really know with stuff like that....

Anyway - I hope you and Molly have a fabulous weekend my friend xx
Posted By: jim0987

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 09/26/15 04:53 PM

Hi Dawn

Sounds like things are good for you and not all fantasy for your XH, well it was his choice.

And if/when you do bump into them it will be fine because you did nothing wrong and it will be clear to see how well you're doing.
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 09/29/15 02:44 PM

Today is the 1 year anniversary of the bomb drop for me and I'm sure feeling all the emotions that entails today. I have cried, been angry and just feel sad, all in the span of the last few hours since I awoke. I'm pretty busy at work, which is a good thing. Occupies my mind I suppose.

I will see XH and his woman together in a few days and I know that is adding to my stress level. Ready or not, here it comes. frown

I'm trying to kind of pull back my enthusiasm where the new guys are concerned too because I am letting myself get too wrapped up in whether they call or text and that is so not a healthy place to be right now, all things considered. New guy #1 called Sunday and told me he would call again last night, but never did. So that, of course, set my mind reeling, which is absolutely ridiculous.

I was doing so well, but today, today is just one of those where I would really just prefer to crawl under and rock and hide from the world. Someone please tell me that it is ok and it will all work out........................
Posted By: Sotto

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 09/29/15 05:12 PM

Hi Dawn, I'm sorry you're having a rough day. Not surprising - and generally you do so well; you don't need to worry about having an occasional 'want to pull the duvet over my head' day.

It's a good thing that you are busy and at work and of course these low feelings will pass. I'm sorry that you have to see XH and his woman soon. I can understand that must feel difficult. Perhaps you can see it as a necessary meeting with an awkward client that you don't particularly like. You'll do the minimum to engage with them and move on to other things as soon as you can. And when it is done, it is done.

As for the other guys. I agree that there is no need for lovely Dawn's mind to be reeling if someone didn't call when they sai they would. I'm trying to reinvent myself as an assured, mature woman, able to do things on her terms, talk honestly with guys...and so on. But it's a shift for me to get from gawky teenage tendencies to that (not saying you're a gawky teenager of course!!)

So, I am dropping in to say - it is okay, and it will all work out for you. From all that you post and who you are - I know with confidence that will be the case xx
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/01/15 08:04 PM

Sotto, you give good advice as usual. I like the thought of dealing with XH as just an awkward client. That might make the whole thing easier.

Thanks for letting me know it is ok and it will all work out. I had a down day Tuesday but I have been slowly building back up this week, thanks mainly due to the fact that I have been pretty busy at work.

I am really looking forward to D's wedding this weekend, despite knowing XH and his tart will be there. My mom, sis and niece are going with me, so I will have my reinforcements and I'm so very grateful for that.

It will be interesting for sure, but it is my D's day and I'm looking forward to sharing it with her. smile
Posted By: TDball

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/01/15 08:46 PM

Hi There. I havent caught up on your situation, but reading this thread made me feel hopeful.

I know it must have been rough, but you made it through the 1 year anniversary, and it sounds like you're in a really good place. It's nice feeling just an inkling of a spark again, isn't it?
Posted By: jim0987

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/01/15 08:54 PM

It is OK and it will all work out. smile

It's the one year anniversary and your seeing the fool soon, always going to be rough on the emotions so its fine. Besides I'm sure you're going to look great so he will find it more awkward.

Same with the guys, things are a bit uncertain and have an emotional impact but as long as you recognise what's happen and adjust you'll be fine (as you have been throughout).

It's all good and getting better.

Say hi to molly for me
Posted By: gonegrl

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/01/15 09:06 PM

Nothing new to add Dawn, but I wanted to show my support.

Have a great time and focus on your D!
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/02/15 06:58 PM

Thank you all for stopping by and your kind words of support. I know this week was just about a roller coaster and I expect that will continue for sometime. It was brought on my xh being in town and at least I recognize that.

I'm ready to face him and his new woman with all of the grace and dignity that I can muster this Sunday and to put my best foot forward for my daughter's benefit. I will be polite, but not friendly.

I was watching tv last night and one of the characters told another that it was better to have grace than to be bitter and I thought wow.....that is powerful. I have said all along I don't want to be bitter and I keep saying that and I truly do not want to be bitter. I don't want to hate either, though that one might be a little harder to hold onto. Whatever may come, I'm going to face it head on and then lean on you all and my family and friends who surround me for support.

I'm feeling better now than I did earlier this week, though Sunday will be a challenge. I'm up to the challenge!
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/03/15 01:43 PM

Tomorrow is the big day and the lack of sleep is still plaguing me. It is really getting old, not sleeping more than a few hours each night. I think after the wedding, my sleep will return to normal...at least I hope it will.

On the good news front, I have a date tonight, with New Guy #1. We have talked pretty much every day for the last 2 weeks and I just casually asked last night if he would like to get together since I'm going to spend the night at my mom's tonight before the wedding and he said he would like that. smile Dinner and a drive or just sit and visit...not sure which, but whatever it is, I'm looking so forward to it.

Tomorrow, my youngest daughter, and last single one, gets married and I'm so excited for her and proud of her. I'm going to hold on to that tomorrow and remember that it is her day. She is going to be a beautiful bride!

Then XH leaves to go back up north on Monday. Can we say ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh? Out of sight, out of mind is my friend for sure. In my case, absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder; it makes the detachment and moving on easier. smile
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/06/15 01:46 PM

Isn't it amazing that when stress leaves your life, sleep comes back? I have slept the last 2 nights without any problem. The wedding was beautiful and my daughter was happy and that is all that matters. The best part of the day was seeing her so in love and so happy. The 2nd best part of the day was that XH and his new tart looked EXTREMELY uncomfortable all day. Does that make me a bad person to admit that?

They stayed to themselves, not really mingling and interacting, but I stayed right in the middle of the action and I'm not sorry. She's my daughter too and I had every right to be in the middle of it. XH had told me that his woman would sit in the back and not try to intrude and of course, when it came time to sit down, she plopped her happy a$$ right in the front row, so yet again, he's a liar. What a shock there!

I came home Sunday night and slept 10 hours and then turned around and took a 2 hour nap yesterday. Then I slept another 8 hours last night. smile

My date Saturday night was nice. We ate supper and visited for a couple of hours then we left. We had both worked all day and he has a very physical job so I know he was worn out. But, it was still easy to just talk and laugh and have a nice time. I'm tickled to death to have this friendship back in my life and if it goes farther, that will be even better. But if it doesn't, I still have a great friend. smile

Life is good............................. smile
Posted By: gonegrl

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/06/15 02:37 PM

Dawn, I am so happy for you. And when I look at your timeline, I am impressed at how far you have come in just a year.

Congratulations to your D, and good luck with your new man, wherever that goes! You deserve to sleep and be happy.
Posted By: Sotto

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/06/15 08:09 PM

Hi Dawn, I'm so pleased that the wedding went well. I can understand you having a little moment of pleasure knowing xh and ow were uncomfortable.

I'm glad you had a nice time with your new friend and that you can now catch up on some lovely sleep. You knew it would feel like a burden lifted once they had gone, and it does. Plus, if it happens again, the first time will always have been the worse.

Enjoy your week lovely Dawn xox
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/09/15 08:07 PM

Wow...what a week it has been! I tell you, I have never been so frustrated and just had a crappy, emotional week in a very long time. Blessedly, more of it had to do with work, but it still makes for a kind of sucky week. I'm just ready for some down time. Time where I don't have to do anything.

New guy has backed off, but he still calls or texts nearly every day. He had mentioned coming to see me while he was on vacation this week, but here we are to Friday and he hasn't been here nor has he even mentioned it, so I don't know..........sends a pretty clear signal he isn't coming to me, but what do I know, right? I don't want to be a mind reader, so I'll just let it go at he still contacts me frequently.

Life is weird sometimes. These ups and downs are hard. frown
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/10/15 09:30 PM

Just journaling:

Today was a better day and for that, I am infinitely grateful. I was able to get a lot of stuff done today and really make some headway on getting ahead of some things at work and I always feel good to be in that boat. I was able to just stay in my office and work on paperwork for much of the day and that is very helpful. It isn't that I don't like dealing with people, but when I have down times as I have this week, it is just harder and more tiring.

Tomorrow, I am going to visit family to have lunch with them and see my cousin who recently moved back to the area from out of state. I'm looking forward to that. If I hear from New Guy #1 tonight, I am thinking about asking him to get together for a coke or something late afternoon, since he lives in the same town my family does and I will be there anyway. We'll see what happens. I may not hear from him or he may have plans...don't know, but we shall see.

I feel a great relief that I'm finally at my weekend and can just relax and enjoy. I need a break in the worst way. I'm SO ready for it. I'm hoping for a better attitude next week, and hoping this funk that has descended upon me this week will be lifted by my weekend of family fun and leisurely laziness.

I'm so ready to move forward in my life and get past these bumps in the road, but sadly, I'm not sure that they are going away anytime soon. I've felt really good lately but we'll see what happens in the coming weeks. Our 10th wedding anniversary would've been at the end of this month, so I know that will be a tough day. But, I'm going to plan ahead and be sure I'm occupied that day. Friends are the greatest! smile
Posted By: Sotto

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/11/15 08:48 AM

Hi Dawn, I imagine your funk may have been some fallout from the previous week, which was a tough one. It's completely understandable and you need to go through the funks to get to a better place within yourself.

I'm glad you are coming out the other side and it sounds like you have some nice social plans. Hope you get to go out for a coke....but if not I'm sure you'll drive home with the music on and enjoy whatever life offers at that moment.

You're doing so well Dawn and I hope next week is a good one xx
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/13/15 07:38 PM

Thanks, Sotto! I appreciate your insight. I had a wonderful time with my family Sunday. I did not get to see the guy because he got called in to work, but that is ok. There will be other times. I went and did a little shopping after my time with my family and bought a few things that I wanted then drove home to my sweet little dog.

Yesterday, I just stayed home and occupied myself and my dog. It was a nice, quiet day. I did some housework, got out some Halloween decorations, and just was generally lazy. It was a good day.

I was determined that this was going to be a good week, but so far it has been a challenging day. I think it is just par for the course, as fall is our busiest time at work. It will all come out in the wash, I'm sure.

At least the funk appears to be gone...........I hope. smile
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/15/15 06:50 PM

More journaling:

I realized yesterday that this whole putting myself out there again is going to be more difficult than I realized and I have to practice patience. Patience is not a virtue I possess, but I'm working on it. I didn't hear from the guy for a couple of days, but then he called me yesterday. So, I don't know, but I'm just going to not worry about it. I have too much going on to worry about such things.

Today, God put 2 people that I think the world of right in my path. It is like God knows when I need a little boost and he puts these 2 folks in my workplace to say hello and just check in on me. That makes my heart smile as these are two of the loveliest people I have ever known. smile

It is nice to have friends and to have a purpose and I'm feeling less of a funk and more of a real life the past few days. Thank goodness!
Posted By: Vanilla

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/20/15 04:03 AM

big big hugs

REALLY BIG HUGS

V
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/22/15 07:46 PM

Thanks, V! I appreciate the hugs. This has been a bit of an up and down week but more up than down, so that is good. I'm still NOT looking forward to the 29th, as that would have been our anniversary, but I'm thinking of taking off work that day and going out of town to do something fun, just for me.

We are so busy at work that I just do not have time to think about anything else. That is definitely a good problem to have. smile

Life is good and I'm learning to roll with the punches where these mood swings are concerned. I warn my closest co-workers and they check on me, but I try to pretty much keep to myself when I feel that dark funk washing over me.

I'm getting better all the time...just like a fine wine. smile
Posted By: Sotto

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/22/15 08:22 PM

Hi Dawn, I'm glad it has been more up than down this week & keeping busy at work is always a good thing. I think doing something lovely for yourself is a good idea on your would have been anniversary. Treat yourself and remind yourself how special you are.

I think you're doing really well Dawn. Your sitch was one of those that moved to D being finalised quickly and the year following that was always going to have ups and downs. But you have such a positive outlook, I just know things are going to turn out well for you.

Hope you have a super weekend xx
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/23/15 07:31 PM

Thanks for the vote of confidence, Sotto. I always appreciate your support.

Most days I think I'm doing well, but there are those days...those that zap my self-confidence and just really run me down. Unfortunately, there isn't usually a lot I can do on those days but just ride them out.

I have to work next week on what would have been my anniversary but I am off the day before so I'm going to find some way to treat myself and make it a good day.

I can do this! smile One day at a time.....................
Posted By: Maybell

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/24/15 01:19 PM

Hey, Dawn. I've lost track of a lot of people's threads but I wanted to pop my head in and say hello. I'm sorry your anniversary is coming up. The first one is REALLY tough. But my second one without the ex was last week and it was odd, I felt OK. There were moments when I remembered it but I felt more regret than anything else.

So this year, sit with the sadness when it comes, and remember that next year will feel completely different.

You are doing really well. Keep on going. smile
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/26/15 05:24 PM

The next couple of days should prove to be rather busy and I think that is probably a REALLY good thing for me. I'm hoping October 29 slips right by without me having to think too much about it and since we have lots of groups in the lodge that day, I'm thinking it will.

I had a very quiet day at home alone yesterday and it was good for my soul. I did laundry, read the Sunday paper and worked the crossword puzzle, cuddled in my chair with my dog and napped, and did a little craft project that I have been meaning to finish up for awhile. I even managed to do some housework and FINALLY put the new rug down in the living room that I bought a month ago and re-organized my kitchen pantry. Tonight I plan to rearrange my dresser drawers and actually get rid of a few things. I like it!

Tomorrow night will have me finishing up my spare room and Wednesday (my other day off this week) will be all about me...going to get a hair cut, making some cakes to bring to work Thursday to celebrate Halloween, and just doing whatever I want to do to enjoy a restful and relaxing day.

So yeah, bring it on Thursday....old anniversaries be damned!
Posted By: gonegrl

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/26/15 06:18 PM

Dawn, you have a lot of good plans, wishing you peace and contentment this week. You are going to be fine!
Posted By: Vanilla

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/28/15 06:27 PM

I just love hearing about your days. So comforting, so very calm and peaceful.

How wonderful, not like my own, hectic and out of control.

Hugs to you and Molly.


Tomorrow can be just another day

Much love

V
Posted By: Sotto

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/28/15 09:27 PM

Dawn, I'm wishing you a nice day tomorrow and if you want a glass of wine with a friend across the ocean....just let me know xxx
Posted By: Vanilla

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/29/15 11:18 AM

Hugs

V
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/29/15 03:40 PM

Thanks for the all the thoughts and hugs. I hit the ground running at 7:00 this morning and I have not slowed down since, so I'm doing pretty good so far. I have to do a presentation for my Rotary club today and I am super busy at work and that is such a wonderful problem to have because it keeps me focused. Then tonight, I have to help out with a big Halloween carnival at our local community college. Woo hoo for GAL! It is actually a volunteer opportunity for the Chamber of Commerce board, which I currently sit on, but hey, getting out and doing something fun is always GAL in my book no matter why I decided to do it....right??????

I just wanted to say thanks for all of your well wishes and support. It means a lot and is helping make 10/29 just another day on the calendar. smile
Posted By: Di-mond

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/29/15 03:50 PM

Hello Dawn,

Just listening to your GAL activities makes me tired! 😄
Glad your day is off to a good start.
You've been an inspiration for me. I do hope to get to your level of detachment and GAL one of these days.
Posted By: Sotto

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/29/15 04:21 PM

Hey Dawn, did you get the right date?? It says 9/29 on your profile. I'm wondering if you missed your antiversary & don't even have to worry about today at all!! (not that you sound worried.....sounds like you are doing just fine xx)
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 10/30/15 01:27 PM

Di-mond...thank you for the compliment. I greatly appreciate it.

Sotto, bomb drop was 9/29. Our wedding anniversary was 10/29. Last year we were separated on prior to 10/29 but our divorce was not final until Dec. so this year (yesterday) was the 1st year that day came by that I was actually divorced. So, that is a good thing, I guess, to get past another first. And it is all downhill from here, right?

This is going to be a super busy weekend and I'm looking forward to it, then I'm off Monday and Tuesday (yay for 2 days in a row for the first time in a month!). I'm going to spend time at home with my dog just loving on her and enjoying the peace and quiet that my cute little house affords me. Life is good............................
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 11/06/15 09:36 PM

Well, being busy certainly does help make the days go by faster and keeps me from thinking too much about personal stuff, but that crap still creeps in from time to time.

This has been a super emotional week and I'm not sure why other than that I just haven't felt great and I'm just ready for things in my life to happen. I'm impatient. I always have been.

I want to date. I want to find a man who is truly interested in me. The person I thought might turn into a love interest is really going to just be a friend and I'm honestly and truly ok with that, but I'm ready to find someone to share my time with.

I'm blessed with wonderful friends and for that I will be forever grateful, but a love interest at this point in the "movie" of my life would be great too. smile
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 11/13/15 03:28 PM

This week has been a good one. Lots of GAL activities this week. Dinner and a school ball game with a teacher friend, a nice relaxing massage Wednesday, dinner out of town with co-workers and former co-workers last night. Another friend coming into town this weekend and having dinner (Lord, but I eat out too much!) and my guy "friend" that I mentioned before has asked me to accompany him to see a doctor Monday. It sounds kind of weird, but I was touched that he asked. He's worried about it and didn't want to go alone so he reached out to me. Not my idea of a date, but I'm glad he trusts me enough to ask me to be there for him. This is going to be a beautiful friendship, even if it never gets beyond that and one can NEVER have too many real friends.

Still getting hit with those sad, down times and I wish I knew how to manage those better, but I'm doing the best I can and trying to keep my head up and rolling with the emotions. Sometimes it is hard, particularly when we are moving into the full swing of the holiday season, but I'm doing the best I can.

I keep reading posts on this board from "new" people and I keep wondering why I'm still in the newcomer world, but a part of me feels like I belong here. Not that I really want anyone to "belong" to this particular world, but here we are.

I was unable to save my marriage. It was too far gone before I even found this wonderful place to learn, but the beauty of the whole DB thing is that it is still a good and useful tool. I know now that if and when I do find a new relationship, I will be a better, stronger person for the DB things I have learned here and for all of the advice and support that comes with being a part of this "community".

Life is good and I say that with all faith that life will be good again for all of you as well. I've come a long way from the broken person who came here a year ago and I'm continuing to move ahead and it is good.
Posted By: gonegrl

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 11/13/15 07:49 PM

Dawn, thank you for your update, it is so good to hear stories from those who have walked through this and come out a stronger person. I wish you the best of luck in your dating life, and with your new non-dating friends as well. I wish I had some words of wisdom for the sad times, but I am not handling those very well myself. I believe they are something that we must experience, and may never go away fully, but as I am sure you have noticed, come less frequently and with less intensity.

I think 2016 is going to be "your year." You have worked on yourself, grieved your marriage, and now it is your time to move on. I am excited on your behalf for all the possibilities that are coming your way. Thank you so much for sharing.
Posted By: Sotto

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 11/13/15 08:38 PM

Hi Lovely Dawn, I'm so pleased to read of your busy time with GAL - sounds like Dawn is having plenty of well-deserved fun. I understand what you say about the sadness too. Like you, I keep moving forward and life has many good things to offer. But there is still the sadness. I guess we just need to go through that Dawn. If we were in denial and didn't go through that, we wouldn't get to the other side.

It's nice that your friend asked you to go with him to see the Doctor. He clearly trusts you and is willing to be vulnerable around you. As you say, even if it 'just' remains a friendship, it is always good to have a 'new' friend in your life.

Hope you have a great weekend xx
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 11/18/15 09:28 PM

Isn't life just a kick in the head sometimes? Ugh. But you know what, that sounds really negative and I do not feel at all negative today. I had a great experience at work Sunday. Had 2 nice quiet days off in a row. I didn't get to go the dr. with my friend after all, because his aunt ended up going, but that is ok. He called me as soon as he was finished to let me know what had happened. And, he called me last night because he was kind of having a bad day and needed to talk. So, this friendship is really going well and right now, that is a really really good thing.

My GAL is still rolling right along. I have a cooking class with friends tomorrow night and have a friend from high school moving to my town this weekend, so I know I will spend some time with her in the coming days/weeks/months.

I continue with my ups and downs, but for the most part, the life of Dawn is in a REALLY great place right now and for that, I am forever grateful and feel truly blessed. XH's sister even invited me to her house for Thanksgiving. I have to work that day, so I won't get to go but she told me to swing by after work and grab a plate anyway. smile It is nice to be loved.

Life is good...........................
Posted By: Vanilla

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 11/18/15 10:08 PM

I said to Gg and I say it to my beautiful sassy Dawn, you only need one person interested in you and you in them.

One very special person and it will be ok.

V
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 11/22/15 06:46 PM

So, I got to hang out with my "friend" yesterday and we had a very nice time. We went out to lunch then went and played miniature golf. He texted me yesterday morning and asked if he brought his daughter along...asked if I would get mad if we had a "third wheel" and I said not at all. She is 16 and they have a very tight bond because her mother died several years ago, so they are super close and he mentioned that she was feeling a little jealous. So I didn't mind her coming and we actually had fun. It was nice to see him in that light too. He's a great dad and his daughter is bright and sweet and funny and a tad sarcastic (much like her father).

All in all it was a very nice day. It ended with a nice, warm, full-body hug and him texting me before I even made it home to thank me and tell me it was fun. So, maybe that is a good sign...we shall see. I'm just going with the flow. Maybe his daughter taking to me will be a good thing. But as I have said several times before, if it doesn't go beyond friendship, there is still a solid relationship there with someone I care about and THAT is a good thing. smile
Posted By: gonegrl

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 11/22/15 08:58 PM

Dawn I am glad things are working out so well for you. I am glad you have a nice friend, and I am glad his daughter accepted you. Wishing the best for you, you deserve it.
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 11/26/15 03:40 PM

Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate today. I'm so very thankful and blessed. I wouldn't have been able to say that at this time last year, but now, now I can say it with full confidence that the Lord has indeed blessed me beyond measure with a good life, great family, awesome friends and the ability to bounce back from bad places.

I have to work today, as my business is a public service business that never closes (yes we are open on Christmas day too, though I did manage to get that day off). My family never celebrates on this actual day anyway because everyone has places to go. We will celebrate Sunday with a nice family gathering and I'm so looking forward to it.

I'm thankful that God has given me the ability, and more importantly, the desire, to find love again. My "friend" continues to reach out to me just about every day and I'm so grateful for that. I continue to say that if we don't get any further than friendship, it will still be a great thing. I need a friend I can count on right now and am glad that I found that in him. smile

Life is so good. It is vastly different from where I was this time last year, but it is definitely good.
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 12/02/15 06:04 PM

Well, I can definitely tell that I'm getting closer to the anniversary of my divorce being final, as I have been super emotional the past couple of days. It is going to be a rough few weeks, but hopefully work and other stuff will keep me busy.

Life is funny sometimes and I roll right along thinking I have everything handled and then some little something hits me from out of the blue and sends me reeling. I have always been emotional, but this is getting somewhat ridiculous. I try to cut myself some slack, reminding myself that divorce is difficult. It is a life-altering experience. And, unfortunately, lots of people in this world have experienced it. I'm not alone in that. Isn't that why we are all here?

Anyway, just trying to put some of my thoughts down since they seem to be so randomly all over the place lately. Some day....some day I will be fine and this will all be a distant memory.
Posted By: Sotto

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 12/02/15 09:12 PM

Hi Dawn, I don't think it is ridiculous at all sweetheart. I think it is absolutely normal and to be expected. You are going through one of the most painful things a person can experience and yes you are moving solidly forward. However, there are still things to be worked through in terms of your own feelings and the impact it has had on you.

It is a funny time too - that short period between BD and D for you. You actually didn't get that much time to get used to things, so I think for you a lot of this had to come after D. That is fine and we all get through it in our own way. If it helps at all, I'm reading Growing through Divorce by Jim Smoke. I'm finding it helpful and it links closely to the divorce recovery workshop I'm doing too. I believe DRW is an international thing, so that may be worth considering too. It's nice to meet people going through a similar thing.

Anyway, lovely Dawn, I think you have done and are doing incredibly well. Honour your feelings and recognise they are perfectly normal, and also that they will pass - as will your D anniversary. Hopefully you can make some nice plans for yourself that day.

Take care my friend xx
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 12/10/15 02:47 AM

You know, sometimes, I read back on my "journey" here and I'm amazed. That sounds very boastful and I don't mean for it to. I don't think I'm amazing, but I think my journey has been an amazing one. I went through so much in such a short amount of time and I'm just now able to fully process it all.

I realized today that though I'm better off, I'm angry. I hate to let him have that power over me, but I'm angry at XH. And, I want to tell him I'm angry. I don't know...maybe I'm just crazy. In many ways, he did me a favor by walking away from me when he did, but in many ways, I still feel that confusion of "what the heck?" I'm just in a weird place right now, I suppose.

On the positive side of things, I'm so looking forward to Christmas and upcoming holiday parties and spending time with family and friends, because those are the people in my life who really and truly matter.

Hopefully this weirdness will pass soon. LOL I need some boring normalcy.
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 12/17/15 07:59 PM

Happy Anniversary to me! Yes, I consider today my official anniversary of freedom. A year ago today, my divorce was final. I was NOT in a good place. I was sad, I was devastated, I felt like a failure, I was broken.

Today, one year later, I'm stronger, happier and piecing myself back together to become the person I always really liked before. I loved my XH. I would've stayed by his side forever. But he gave me a gift when he decided to walk away. He allowed me to rediscover the strong, confident woman I was when we first met and for that, I will be forever grateful.

I was not able to bust my divorce but I still feel like I was successful because I'm going into the rest of my life with a stronger sense of self than I have had in a very long time and that is a good thing. I learned some extremely valuable lessons to carry into my next relationship, whenever that might come along. And, I have learned to enjoy alone time again. I am, by nature, an extremely introverted person, so it is really nice to have that time away from people to de-stress.

I wouldn't have thought it on this day last year...that I would be at this point a year later. I felt so broken and defeated. But now I know God has a bigger plan for me and I can take comfort in the fact that I'm a strong, self-sufficient woman. And, I trust that when the time is right, some man is going to come along who loves and appreciates those qualities.

So, cheers to me on this day that is one of new-found self and satisfaction. Life is good.
Posted By: JellyB

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 12/17/15 08:04 PM

Champagne popping here for you Dawn70!!!!! Congrats. I want to look just like you in the New Year. Thanks for sharing this. I really appreciate it.

JellyB XXX
Posted By: Sotto

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 12/17/15 08:23 PM

Hi lovely Dawn - what a great post!! I'm glad you are feeling so positive - you have come a long way my friend.

It is funny (and good!) that we can come to see such a devastating event as a gift at a later stage. I'm pleased for you and I'm sure that life will hold many blessings for you going forward - partly because you seek out and feel thankful for blessings - that's one of the lovely things about you. And there are many other lovely things too...

Have a good day xx
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 12/22/15 07:58 PM

I don't know if it is the Christmas spirit, or just my spirit in general, but I feel truly happy for the first time in a very long time and I like this feeling.

I had an old friend from college who came to town this weekend with his wife and their best friends and I really enjoyed visiting with them and catching up. And, they brought me a present, which was very nice. I was thrilled to see them and get to spend time with them.

Sunday night, the guy I am interested in came with his daughter to visit me and spend the night at a local hotel and we spent time together most of the day Sunday and part of the day Monday before they had to leave. It was really nice. I enjoyed visiting with them and again, liked getting to see him in a dad role, which I am not used to. He told me several times what a good time they had and they were glad they came. That made me feel good. smile

Saturday night, I attended my usual holiday family reunion and I was reminded yet again that I come from a truly wonderful, awesome and amazing family. I'm so very very blessed.

'Tis the season, so they say, and I am sure feeling love, laughter and light all around. I have a feeling that 2016 is going to be a very good year. smile
Posted By: ARose

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 12/22/15 08:07 PM

Dawn, I am so happy for you. 2016 is going to be a GREAT year. Thank you so much for sharing your good news and your positive mental attitude. I need to hear as much positivity as I can, it helps, it is contagious, and I thank you for it!

Best wishes to you for a wonderful and peaceful Christmas.
Posted By: Sotto

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 12/22/15 09:16 PM

Hi Dawn, sounds like you have been having some lovely pre-Xmas times with friends and family. Glad to hear you are doing so well, and looking forward to 2016. I'm with you - I think it's going to be a good year!!

Have a very merry Xmas my friend xxx
Posted By: Vanilla

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 12/22/15 11:12 PM

I love hearing about your life Dawn.

So refreshing and yet involved.

Tons of love to you and Molly

V
Posted By: Vanilla

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 12/26/15 02:36 AM

Merry Xmas

Hugs

V
Posted By: Sotto

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 12/27/15 10:17 AM

Dawn, I hope you had a happy time this Xmas. I love reading your updates - always inspired by your positive outlook and your ability to count blessings.

Warm wishes to you xxx
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 12/29/15 03:49 PM

Thank y'all for the Christmas well-wishes. I actually had a few days off work (1/2 day off Christmas Eve, all day off Christmas and the day after plus my regular days off Sunday and Monday) so I had a nice little break and it was SO very needed.

I spent the night with my mom on Christmas Eve, spent Christmas day with my family and got to see all my daughters and grandkids sometime during the week of Christmas. I had family come in from out of state over the weekend and got to spend time with them Sunday and even had a dinner date with my guy friend and his daughter Sunday evening. Tonight, I have plans with them to go to a botanical garden and look at Christmas lights. It should be a good time.

I have said repeatedly that I'm so very fortunate and blessed in this life with the family I was born into and the family I married into. Though I'm divorced from that family, I am still close to them and even exchanged gifts with my former mother-in-law and sister-in-law. It was a happy time.

The end of this year, 2015, sure does look a lot different from the end of 2014. I was sad, my confidence was totally shot, and I was just not myself at this time last year. It was around this time that I found out about XH's new woman. That was a real blow.

But now, a year later, I feel so much different and better about where I am in life. My life isn't perfect, but then again, whose is? No one I know, that is for sure. I found this place and it was a true God-send for me. It gave me a forum to talk and get advice and I will be forever grateful for that.

As I wind down 2015, I find Dawn again...that strong, independent, confident woman. And, I love her! smile
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 12/31/15 08:13 PM

2015 is winding down quickly and today, I feel a bit melancholy. I'm not really sure why, but memories are just flooding over me, some of this year (good ones) and some of years past when I had good times.

2015 brought a good bit of change to me, in the form of me getting my head back on straight and moving forward. If it weren't for my step-daughters, I wouldn't even think of the XH anymore. He's not who I met and fell in love with. I know I have said that more than once, but it bears repeating that he became a TOTALLY different person and not in a good way.

I hope that 2016 brings me romance and a peace that I have not known in a very long time. I'm ready for romance, I'm ready for all that things that having a significant other in my life entails, and I have learned very valuable lessons through this DB forum that will allow me to be a better version of me when the next man comes along.

I hope that all of you out there in DB world have a wonderful, amazing and blessed 2016. You deserve it! smile
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 01/07/16 09:26 PM

Well, here we are a week into 2016, and life just seems to be rocking and rolling right along. I got to see all my family for the holidays, got to go see a really cool light display with my friend and his daughter and have had some really good talks with some really good friends this past week.

2015 started with sadness, uncertainty, fear and just a general feeling of failure. 2016 is off to a much better start with me feeling more confident and much more like my old self than I have in quite some time. I'm feeling very truly blessed.

And, while life is not about presents, I must tell of 2 particular blessings that have come my way this week that really have me feeling very lucky. First, I write a monthly magazine column for a regional gardening magazine. This is something that I have done for years, as a hobby. Well, I got a phone call from a perfect stranger earlier this week who found me because in my by-line, it tells where I work. She went out of her way, took time from her day, to track me down at work just so she could say how much she enjoys my articles and that I have a real gift for writing and she hopes that I will continue to write. So nice! Made me feel really good.

The 2nd blessing was that my sister and brother-in-law bought my niece tickets to a college basketball game at my alma mater later this month. One of the games just happens to be on my birthday. So, my brother-in-law is going to give me his ticket so I can go to the game with my sis and niece and have a girl's trip to enjoy my birthday. And, my sister won't let me pay for part of the hotel room, despite the fact that I have already offered several times. The blessing part of all of that is actually getting to go to the game with my sis and niece and just spend time with them. I'm SO excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life in 2016 is going to look a whole lot different for me and for that I am infinitely grateful. I feel good stuff coming my way. And, I hope good stuff for all of my fellow DB'ers. smile
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 01/15/16 08:23 AM

Well, here we are, 2 weeks into 2016 and life is already quite the interesting roller coaster. This time last year, I applied for a job within my current company at a different location (near my hometown and family). Well, lo and behold, last Friday, that very same job came open again, as the person they hired this time last year has obviously moved on, for whatever reason. So, I find myself doing a bit of waiting again as I wait to see if I am going to get an interview and then see how that interview goes. Keeping my fingers crossed for that moving home thing. That would be a much-welcome part of my life right now.

I'm still talking to my friend, but I am fairly sure now that friends is all we will ever be. But, you know what....I'm so good with that, because I have a good friend back in my life and he's a truly good guy. And, I want him to be happy, so I hope he finds his happiness out there in this world and I know he wants me to find happiness as well. While a romantic relationship would be nice, a good friendship is even better.

Money is tight in the new year, but hoping that if I don't get the new job, I will get a raise and that would be a good thing. So, I will either have a new job or I will have the same job I have now with more money....either way, I can't lose. The good thing about money being tight right now, though, is that when I get my tax return, I have a couple of things I have to get paid off that are still lingering from my D and then I will be financially free and clear of XH for good.

My birthday is rapidly approaching (Jan. 30, for those of you who want to buy a present now and get it in the mail) and I think 46 years old is going to be my time to shine. I am ready!
Posted By: Georgiabelle

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 01/15/16 08:45 AM

Shine on, Dawn! Glad things are going well. We only go around once-may as well make the best of it.
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 01/19/16 08:03 AM

Thanks, Georgiabelle! I feel pretty shiny right now. wink

I'm off to Dallas this week for a large trade show and I'm looking forward to visiting with people about my company and just being away for a few days. That is always a good thing. smile To get out of a rut or regular routine can shake things up from time to time and that is a good feeling. It would be nice to have a little extra money but I won't have time to do much extra stuff anyway. I did find out there is a Hard Rock Cafe near my hotel and I WILL be going there to add to my HR glass collection, but other than that, I will pretty much be tied to the trade show and that is ok by me.

I'm feeling really positive about life right now and I'm so grateful for that. Isn't it funny how a year can change things. I told a close friend about my opportunity to again apply for the job with my company near my hometown and her response was that she had seen many positive changes in me after having stayed here another year. That made me feel good because I feel that way too, but it is nice to know that it was outwardly noticed too.

Life has a way of working things out. I've never been an overly religious person, but I do pray and consider myself spiritual. I know God has a plan for me and everything is falling into place according to HIS timing, not mine. Sometimes it is an interesting ride, but I'm glad I'm on it. It makes me think of that Gary Allan song "Life Ain't Always Beautiful". If you aren't familiar with the song, look it up online....very beautiful and powerful song.

Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride! smile
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 01/22/16 07:53 AM

Plans changed and I didn't get to go to Dallas, but I'm ok with that. I can save a little money for my birthday girls trip with my sister and niece next weekend. Wahoo!

I'm feeling a little like a little less shiny today than I have in previous days, but I think it has to do with stress at work. We are all a little scattered with some things going on and it is a little frustrating. I try not to let things get to me, but I'm naturally a worrier and it just happens.

I mentioned in a previous post that I had applied for a new position with my current employer at a location closer to my hometown. Well, since then I have also applied for 2 other positions in different companies in or near my hometown. We'll see what happens, but I just know I'm ready to move to be near my family. Fingers crossed that one of those opportunities pans out for me soon. I am ready for a change. smile
Posted By: Sotto

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 01/22/16 11:20 AM

Hi Dawn, I have been following along, just haven't managed to post recently! Sorry today is a little less good than others - you have been having some good times lately and I have been pleased to read it - but work stress can bring you down a little. This too shall pass.

I think it is great that you have made the decision 'to go home' - I did that at BD, and I have so enjoyed being back in the place where I grew up (after being 25 years away.) At least now you know what you want and the right job will come along. From what you post, you have plenty to offer a (very lucky) future employer.

I hope you get your shine back soon xx
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 01/29/16 01:36 PM

It has been a LONG week and I'm SOOOOO looking forward to my trip out of town with my sister this weekend. Can't wait!

I heard from the other location with my company and they asked me to come for an interview, so a week from Monday is the day. I'm going to go in and do my best and see what happens.

Life has been very, very quiet lately, but good, for the most part. I still have my little down bouts, but I think that is just a normal part of life as a person grows and adjusts to things.

Life is good, I'm good...it's all good. smile
Posted By: Vanilla

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 01/29/16 02:16 PM

My darling Dawn

It's lovely to hear from you.

I wait eagerly to hear as you are on my watch list.

I do so hope for exciting new job prospects, that would be great to hear about.

Do you still do Rotary?

I am looking for an exchange.......

Because I am going to our to EE this year.

Am excited already.

Lots of hugs

V
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 02/05/16 12:08 PM

Thanks for checking in, V. I do still do Rotary, when my schedule permits, but lately, I haven't been able to be as active as I would like.

My birthday weekend was, in a word, AMAZING! It was a much-needed get away with my sis, niece and niece's best friend to one of my favorite places in the world and we just had the best time all weekend long.

I arrived home late Sunday night, only to turn around and head out for a travel show this week. Starting on Monday, I was out of town, working the booth, and it was quite fun. It reminded me yet again how much fun my job is, how much I enjoy it and how lucky I am to have it.

Life is really going good right now. I have my interview coming up Monday and I found out today that one of my co-workers has already put in a good word for me with one of the bosses at the other company. smile It will be what it will be and if I am meant to move there, I will get the job, but I'm really excited about the whole deal and can't wait to see what happens.
Posted By: Vanilla

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 02/05/16 12:15 PM

I am not as active in Rotary at the moment but I will be.

I love your posts Dawn. I still see you and Molly on the road ahead and it cheers me up a great deal.

I enjoy the positivity in your posts very much and wish I could offer a big real life hug.

Dawn you are incredible.

V
Posted By: Sotto

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 02/05/16 01:36 PM

Dawn, I'm glad you had a good trip and that work is going well. You are always so good at seeing the positives in things and counting your blessings. I always smile when I read your posts.

Good luck for the interview xx
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 02/11/16 08:03 AM

So, my interview went well, but I think they already had their mind made up because I got a phone call not long after I got back to my office that they had decided and it wasn't me. I was sad, upset, a little angry, but I'm better now. I said going in, if it was meant to be, it would be and if not, it wouldn't. So, it obviously wasn't meant to be.

The good part of that day? I interviewed REALLY well. I was very proud of how I did. And I know that sounds like bragging, but it isn't...it is just how it is. I felt VERY good about the whole thing when I was finished. The other good part....my "friend" met me in town for lunch after and even bought me lunch (I intended to buy it for him, but he picked up the check before I had a chance to) and he said he wants to get together again soon. AND, he seemed genuinely excited that I might get to move "home" which is where he lives. And, when I texted to let him know I didn't get, he seemed genuinely disapointed for me and even called to check on me and make sure I was ok. That is a true friend right there and I'm so glad we got back in touch.

So, here I am, still in the town that was XH's hometown, looking at staying on here for an indefinite amount of time. The good part of that is, I love my co-workers, like where I live and life is just pretty stable right now. And, the cherry on top....the big boss for our company is working on getting my position upgraded, which will mean a fairly significant raise. smile

This time last year, I never would've thought I would be this happy this soon, but I think I'm living proof that there is life after D and it can be a very good life. smile
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 02/13/16 03:11 PM

The day before Valentine's day and I'm feeling so good and positive and happy about where I am. I found out yesterday, sort of through the grapevine, that XH is engaged to the tart he left me for and it didn't make me sad. As a matter of fact, my first thought was "you deserve each other and I deserve WAY better." I would say my closure is pretty near completion at this point and that is a very, very good thing.

I got a sweet Valentine's day present from my guy friend's teenage daughter. The last few times we hung out, she went with us and I think she is liking me pretty well. That is a good feeling. She's a good kid. She sent me a stuffed puppy, a balloon that says "You're so special", a heart-shaped box of chocolates and a card. It was a really nice surprise and I really appreciated her thinking of me. So sweet!

Tomorrow I get to go spend the day with my family and actually have my birthday meal that mom cooks for me every year but I didn't have time to actually do on my birthday. So, nothing says happy birthday and happy Valentine's day quite like mama's shrimp gumbo. My niece is making me a special dessert too. smile

Life really is going well. So good, in fact!
Posted By: Sotto

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 02/14/16 01:50 AM

Hi Dawn, you're so right about your XH and his engagement - best of luck to 'em - I sense they are going to need that. We all know the stats on how many R's that started as A's translate into successful R's. I sense there may be choppy waters ahead there....but no need for us to worry about them!!

Dawn, what a lovely gift from your guy-friends daughter. It's great that you and she get along so well. I'm glad to hear you are sounding so positive too. I'm looking forward to a nice Valentines Day and have invited 6 friends from my divorce group round for dinner tonight. It's a contrast to 'making it through the day' last year. It is true that you can come a long way in a year, and you are proof of that.

Enjoy yourself today, and thanks for continuing to post and being an inspiration to others xx
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 02/19/16 11:24 AM

Thanks, Sotto! I appreciate your sweet words.

I have really been doing a lot of thinking lately and I think it is time for me to move to the Surviving the Big D category. I will still lurk here in the newcomers place too, but I think I'm past the newcomer stage.

I can't say enough good stuff to all of you who have commented, prayed, sent hugs and kind words. You all, in a way, have become my family as we all struggle with similar things going through D.

My XH's engagement to his OW and my complete lack of caring about it show me that I have moved on and I'm ready to face this big old world all on my own again. I feel like, for the first time, I can honestly say I survived D and I'm a better woman for it.

Don't worry, I'm not leaving the boards. I have too much to say. I'm not even leaving the newcomers board....just adding more stuff to a different one.

Much love to all of you for your amazing support during this difficult time in my life. My true hope is that everyone finds their way and comes out on top. smile You all are wonderful and amazing people. I think we'd be friends IRL!
Posted By: Vanilla

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 02/28/16 02:39 PM

Can you provide a link to your new thread Dawn so I can track you down?

No escape...........

V
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 03/18/16 12:13 PM

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...;gonew=1#UNREAD

So, last time I posted here I mentioned that I was moving to the Surviving Big D board. Above is the link to my "new" page. I still lurk on the newcomer page and read too. I don't post as often on the other board, but I do feel like the folks there are nice and have great comments.

Life is clicking right along and I'm getting better all the time, happier, stronger, more ready to move forward in life and put that ugliness that is D behind me.

Thank you all for your support and love. It means the world to me!
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 04/21/16 12:12 PM

Well, I have moved on to the Surviving Big D board, but I still lurk here occasionally and stay caught up, though I find myself so busy sometimes I don't get as much time to post and comment as I would like.

Life is going REALLY well for me right now and I can honestly say I am happy. Work is busy. I have been tapped to interview for a position at a college very near my family and my interview is next Tuesday so I'm looking forward to that opportunity.

XH and I have had no contact and I'm ok with that. I like that I don't have to worry about his hopping in and out of my life when it is easy or convenient for him.

I still see my guy friend from time to time and for now, we are rebuilding a very strong friendship and I am happy with that too. It is very nice to have someone I can be open and honest with and just have fun and talk and laugh.

Although I wasn't sure I would ever get "here", I think I'm finally back to "normal"....whatever that is! smile
Posted By: Sotto

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 04/21/16 02:18 PM

Hello Lovely Dawn, I'm always pleased to see you posting and glad to hear things are going well for you. I'm glad you've managed to achieve a new 'Normal.' I do think it helps not actually having to see your XH - I find the same - and I have reached the point where I feel that was my past life and this is my present - tho the D is not quite finalised yet.

Good luck with your interview and let us know how it goes. Xx
Posted By: Dawn70

Re: A new thread for a new life phase - 04/23/16 07:01 AM

Thanks Sotto! I know not seeing XH is a HUGE help in moving forward. In fact, he did me a favor by moving to be with his tart far away from here. It hurt like hell at the time, but it was the absolute best thing he could have done for me and I will forever be grateful for that.

Thanks for the well wishes. I'm excited about the interview and I know if it is meant to be, it will be. smile
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