I didn't realise I only had 2 posts left.
So the update can go here....
Seem it got x rated and I fell of the world for a bit!
About 5 or more days. I was sucked in and it's been super awesome. At times he sounds like edz and some of our other guys. It's very intense and very, very scarey.
There a few issues, nothing about compatibility but just life circumstances.
It proves the Intense r I had with my h, can be created else where. The speed however is wow.. Just wow. He's so very sure on heaps of stuff and gawd I'm so so wobbly.
He's sort of doing some reading and trying to understand why his wife did simlar things to my h hitting him at night in bed and verbal abuse. I'm not fixing so much as doing what we do here talking and offering resources.
There have been huge amounts of chats and we seem to be walking the same road with many mirrored experiences in the r. As here with some of the same chat we have all had it seems I have some sort of hero worship going on. He's very smitten, embarisingly so. The nosey Neighbour was at the same location we first went out together and met up! Officially like a date. Sunday dinners are still and thing with in the last few weeks ten or so coming.
I'm finding all the nice flowery r stuff hard to hear, often I feel less than deserving. I'm not sure how much of my new found independent life I want to give up. The human company and physical touch tho, boy I have missed it far more than I knew.
It's very easy to know why affairs and new r are so bloody addictive. Sigh but if you go by the hell yes theory it's what both of us are saying...
So who knows, atm it's some sort of thing. He wants to use terms like gf etc and I mentally freak out. If we stay at his there is a house mate to consider, something I don't have.
S17 has a job not an apprecticship but full time he says. The wooding has slowed with the job, but the boys owe one load to me.
The scarey bit are so because it's fast and risky.
I'm just sure I know where I was, at this time in his shoes. I thought I was awesome I thought I was ready.... But I know know I wasn't.
Pretty sure he would move in tomorrow, but his life is very moveable. He moved towns after wife's death twice since last year. Just to find a better place.
Some of his talk screams codependent stuff... Makes me want to scream and run. Love romantic first sight stuff.... Mmmmm nope. He believes in all that. Me not so much.
Some other stuff well he seems to validate better than do it's more instinctive. So not all bad. Lots of really really good bits.
Yay Ggs back
Sounding like lots of fun, positive if very scary stuff going on there Gg, great! I'll take it as flattering at getting a call out there too
Really, just take it at a pace you're comfortable with. Have fun, get to know each other. Absolutely dont go to a place you're not ready for and work together with him as you are rather than trying to fix anything *for* him. Sounds like you're doing all the right things.
As to being scared, well, why wouldnt you be? The speed he's going and the speed you're going dont necessarilly *have* to match either as long as the destination is mutually agreeable. You dont need to plan the rest of your life yet, just maybe the next few weeks at a time.
Take it easy, enjoy, relax and dont do the classic Edz thing and overthink everything. Be wary of course but definitely never think you're not deserving or that you have to choose independence or a new relationship, if its right they're not mutually exclusive in most respects (bar one of course
)
Have a great day Gg, so happy to hear from you on here again
Edz
i think of you edz and jim and od.
Just as a guide. Not to judge but I'm not sure now give the way h was I know what a nice guy looks like. I would settle for one who needs nmmng.... Rather than one who pretends to be.
So we shall see, the L seems to have taken her hand brake off as well.
So he's British then
Glad you're back. I was getting worried.
Sounds like interesting times. Also be interested to know how close the gossips are in their latest version of events.
Go as fast or slow as YOU like, just don't get sucked too far in so that you start glossing over red flags because it... ahem... hits a spot. A bit of caution is probably no bad thing.
Hi GG - wow, pleased to hear that!! I agree with Edz and Jim. You (we) have had a tough time, and so that makes us perhaps a little cautious in a new R. I would just go at a pace you are comfortable at. There's no need to think about giving up space or moving in if you aren't ready. You are your own woman and you deserve to ask for what you want and say what you don't want.
If you feel scared, maybe just be authentic and say - this feels scary for me. I need a little more time, and so on.
But, pleased you're having a lovely time though!! xx
Toots, it's been mentioned a time or two how scarey the whole thing is.
I'm wondering how close the gossipers might be too, I thought nosey neighbour might have made up some reason to call. Just to come fishing. Work bestie has been fishing, as she comes as part of Sunday night crew.,
I like the whole just us, it's not something the whole word needs to know, unlike h who told anyone who would listen. Lots of stuff us just nice, but yeah I don't want to gloss over things nor just build things in a shaky way. Like all of us who became lbs, he needs some tools and things he can use. I'm happy to share stuff like that, just because it all helps make a better r for us if that's what happens.
Gg
Go and do whatever makes you happy, my lovely however it is good for you then enjoy.
Especially the X rated bit.
Could manage a bit of X rate, een a bit of anything rated.
So pleased for you.
V
Toots, it's been mentioned a time or two how scarey the whole thing is.
I'm wondering how close the gossipers might be too, I thought nosey neighbour might have made up some reason to call. Just to come fishing. Work bestie has been fishing, as she comes as part of Sunday night crew.,
I like the whole just us, it's not something the whole word needs to know, unlike h who told anyone who would listen. Lots of stuff us just nice, but yeah I don't want to gloss over things nor just build things in a shaky way. Like all of us who became lbs, he needs some tools and things he can use. I'm happy to share stuff like that, just because it all helps make a better r for us if that's what happens.
Ugh, the fishing is the worst. So many of h's coworkers have been asking me if I still live "here". We rent from his emPloyer I know they are wondering if we are still in the same house. I just respond "yes WE are still here". He claims he hasn't said anything. Obviously one of his "trusted confidantes" is not to be trusted then.
Well another week has passed, and boy things are still fast!
Hardly been apart, still freaked out in a way, I am worried about that honesty that I feel and other things might just be a reflection of what I'm sending out.
In some ways the old tapes keep surfacing and feeding those feelings of not being worthy of such a great r and such a sweet man. They are really tough to beat.
I do really really get how our husbands and wives get caught up in that affair glow and fantasy and how addictive that is. . Previously I didnt understandmthose who meet someone and move in same day. Seems I get that now!
There are just problems in my head, I keep thinking what ifs..... What if it get real?
What if there are resentments that will surface.....
And so the list goes on.
In other news s17 hates me. Not heard from him.
Xh2 is texting replies but wow the contrast is he sounds like a child. Lost and stupid.
More L stuff for me to do. I haven't seen him and now I really don't want to or need to. Less so since the whole r started.
Not many know about the r, but those that do are stirring me quite a bit in a nice way and my friends.
Before I was freaked about introducing him to people and leaving that whole single life behind and having some dependency on a r. It that my single life was a huge social whirl but it was nice to get out and it was nice not to have to answer to and check with anyone... Just decided and go...I have come to the realisation I don't want to do half hearted on the r, so will just let it come out as it does along the way.
The brd he's been odd at work and the more I see of him at work the more I'm convinced I missed a bad deal there. He's a bit childish as well.
Well, G, are you having fun? No need to jump in the deep end, right?
You're sounding good, Gg. Things seem very real, very scary, and very exciting for you at the moment. I say go with the flow!
Plenty of that gan.
OH and I keep missing the bed time curfew. 2am has become the norm again.
Nice day out, today's. Lunch awesome.
Tsk! I step away from your threads for 5 minutes, you're off galavanting all over the place up till all hours what is the world coming to
Gg, its great to hear things are going well there, wont ask whats going on after the bedtime curfew until 2am either
Hope lunch was good, dont forget to post every now and again and let us know how you, lambie and everyone over there is doing
Edz
Hi GG
I'm betting the 2AM is for very different reasons these days though
glad things are going well and that your having fun
Slow, slow it right down............
Make it last and enjoy.
V
Well kids, been a busy few days.
Went to lunch on Monday, omg had a great time. We just tend to do Normal stuff but it's just nice to be normal.
Was confronted Monday about what's happening and cannot understand why it's anyone's business. Got a busy weekend planed.
S17 had a concussion from work and has a few days off.
Xh2 is playing silly Buggas over gun paperwork and he lied about where he was when I texted him.
I tryed to resist the urge to call his ass out, but in the end I cried bs! I know where you are I saw you.
Once I did that he went to ground. Oh well life goes on, and xh2 still holds on!
Hiya Gg!
Thanks for popping by my thread this weekend, how's it all going?
Normal sounds good, spent quite a bit of time in the past couple of weeks on "normal" and it does feel comforting to do those things that once would have been mundane. I think the whole process gives you a new perspective on even "normal" stuff that you cant have otherwise. Obviously your sitch even more so if you can just kick back, relax and be you (which is what I hope Gg is being - her normal fab self!)
Who's confronting you then? You're right at this stage it isnt anyones busines that I can see. It would be you/h's but it seems he's set his course and now Gg is charting hers on her terms. Not sure why anyone else has an opinion and even if they do why they feel they can confront you? Anyway tell me to butt out - them too
Concussion sounds bad - he ok? Hope lambie et al are bounding about as they should be
Take it easy!
Edz
Wonky ole lambie is my fave at Ggs.
V
Well seems normal and mundane things are just fun, we Hardly spend any time apart except me being at work.
It's damn awesome tho, it's like we have know each other always but not!
He sooooo damn sure, he's sure I'm different and not that whole red hot messy I was critised into.
The whole from nothing to something seems to be a bit over whelming at times. I still have gb issues of feeling less than that person that's been put up on that pedestal.
It is however really nice to have help to do those many things i often struggled to find time.
There is only one huge red flag, no job for him atm. Due to being new to town and moving here from a long way away, it's making finding work tougher. No local leads can be hard.
The same sorts still comfront me, not the nosey neighbour not so much but others who think it's their busisiness to know any gossip.
Seems I've become a local celebratity and every one thinks I'm fair game. I just would have liked some more quiet time and privacy. Some of them are just really really happy so it's a nice thing, others it's just plain idle gossip and none of their bees wax. I wish they would take the hint.
It's great to catch up with you guys but hard to keep this place under wraps. It is my place to vent and just bleh and let rambling thoughts out.
And finally xh2 has given over the first price of paper work so I can now get the gun out of hock. After 12 months it's about time
Please take care Gg.
Red flags flying are warnings, that the sea can be rough for swimming in.
We are here to listen
V
Of to see interstate bestie for a few days.
Gunna miss being at home, and there was a time when I wanted to be anywhere else. I have large lay over between planes and it's seems the make up collection has grown, damn airport shops.
Seems I met a lady on the first plane, and she didn't want to leave when we said good bye. I said or did nothing really but it seems a made a friend. Seems xh2 generalisations of no one ever likes and and everybody hates you as your nasty ride and selfish just are less and less valid.
If funny I'm finding people are more and more drawn to me, without actually do or being any thing or anyone special. Shrugs I'm not sure why or what I'm doing differently.
I didn't feel different I didn't think I've changed very much. Im still getting those pangs of unworthiness and not feeling like any thing special.
S17 did however spend the weekend at home last weekend and things went smoothly with him and bf. I didn't tell him what was going on, but as the whole world knows even those whom I thought wouldn't know for months do I guess s17 has already heard and knows.
Boy I'm looking forward to real shops! And shoes and make up and...... And and!
My lovely Gg
You are just being Gg. It's wonderful to be Gg.
It's enough!
I start the new abuse thread tomorrow. Please drop by as I know what you say has weight.
V
Man shopping Far too much of it. Bought buckets of stuff, had a ball doing so as well.
Visited Mac again and boy once you let the make up diva out its terrible. Half year stock take sales too. Bf hasn't had one thing to say about me spending, xh2 would have always done so even tho his stuff was separated and I got no say on his side.
I will go look nilla, but I'm not an expert at fixing this stuff remember I couldn't save the m. I did give it a good crack, it didn't Change the end game.
Can hardly wait to be home with bf and the breaks been nice.
Thanks Gg, I followed through with a couple of questions, if you have the time. I think that there is much awareness here on abuse with this new thread.
I am loving that you are really enjoying yourself. rainbow eyes and mascara and all!
And your kick ass red heels.
Go Gg
V
Those red shoes caused a lot of shel envy on the trip and I only bought one new pair.
Fancy detailed kick arse Sheung boots! They will cause shoe envy with jeans I'm pretty sure. I go read that thread this arvo. Loving the mac make up too.... But alas I lost on lippy on the plane, it must have fallen out of my bag when I up ended the bloody thing as you do. Met a bunch of real human being on the plane both 2 and fro, the sort you don't meet every day, just awesome how those thin Theads work in our lives.
Hello Gg,
Keep enjoying yourself! You are an inspiration to me.
Keep your chin up.
*Hugs*
Bob
Aaaaaaw bob, I'm just ordinary.
I have thought revenge thoughts like every one here and played the what ifs a million times.
But things are slowly turning for the better, I'm just not so good at letting the hand brake off. I'm thinking I should make things move slower in the bf front times it's a double edged sword. I don't want things to get to complicated but it just happens if you want to to or not.
Humans are complex yet simple creatures. The simple need for touch means sometimes we get caught up and carried away. I have said before I didn't understand how our h/w would get caught up in the a, but now I can I really really can. In some ways it's lovely and nice in others it's fast and scarey.
Hi GG
just dropping by to say hello. seems like things are going well with bf so thats great news, just a bit of due caution to any red flags and you'll be fine.
Have fun
Aaaaaaw Bob, I'm just ordinary.
I have thought revenge thoughts like every one here and played the what ifs a million times.
Hello Gg,
Well, I have to respectfully disagree - Ha! I think you are extraordinary.
Keep on being yourself!
Bob
Aaaaaaw Bob, I'm just ordinary.
I have thought revenge thoughts like every one here and played the what ifs a million times.
I think you are extraordinary.
Bob
This I hear all the time now....... Seems there's been progress on the job front!
Like riding in a little red car?
I am so pleased Gg.
Thank you my friend
V
I hope you are enjoying life
V
Well I posted on the thread yesterday I'm pretty sure unless it a got eaten or b I was norty and I got erased...
Things are good, it's just a huge fast attraction that's leaving me feeling a bit like whoohaaa... But in most stuff there seems to be boundary respect and I haven't needed to tell bf how act like a grown up. In some things he insists in take his share and it's been nice to be semi "normal"
Doing normal things, just going out to shop used to be a production with xh2, now we just go. He takes his share of cooking and is taking some of the heavy stuff over. He seems to be able to know what a grown up is, without me having to tell him what's ok.
I think it's just time to confront what's actually happening, the action is different to the story I tell my self. I need to make room in my cupboards but bf hasn't pushed....
Somehow he is just content to go with the the flow, for the time being. Which is nice, not being told like xh2, this is how it will be.
Everything's still intensely x rated, but bf has gotten work and so that's helped me feel less like I need to push the issue. I was feeling anxious about the fact work wasn't looking positive.
So yes nilla life is good
Just cruising.
Aaaaaaw Bob, I'm just ordinary.
I have thought revenge thoughts like every one here and played the what ifs a million times.
I think you are extraordinary.
Bob
This I hear all the time now....... Seems there's been progress on the job front!
Hi Gg,
Good, I hope it works out. Keep on cruising!
Bob
Looking for an update my sassy Gg.
V
And I need to find time to sit down and really gathers some thoughts together.
Struggling a bit with the the reality.
The relatity of what's happened and how fast. I'm wobbling about the what if I'm worried about cheating (not me) and not sure why. I am cruising and things are good, bf just helps out and does cooking, shopping and cleaning. Bf work is going ok. Interstate bestie saying it's time for shared stuff.
Xh2 bestie who seems to have been spreading nasty stuff about s17 seems to be having trouble finding work and in walking making me think he's got another bad health spurt happening.
My works busy as I'm doing a second one atm.
Omg, after many months in the early stages of thinking things would never change and that things just were and that was that, now I'm starting to realise getting things started Ai the hardest.
Moving that first steps are the hardest. S17 had a moment today in which I'm a proud mummy!
He's been doing stuff with his mates to earn extra $'s and it seems my thought on the the wood gathering was right they were taking s17 for a big fat row. S17 has given them chances and he's solved it and stopped them In their tracks. He set a Limit and enforced it.
Shows he working things out, he been watching what's happened in this last year and the limits set down on him.
He's done good! I think I've learnt soooooo much just hangin out round here.
Well found this great TEDx talk.
By Johann hari about addictions and how to over come them... It's food for thought.
I don't think I will be allowed to post a link but it googles.
Also watched another on duality. By a gay lady about when to let things go for the greater good. It had a frozen theme and boy it made sense about how I feel atm. It makes me ponder how I can feel so conected to bf and yet scared to death... So I'm not sure what she talks about is totally gay related issues, I think humans of all genders and sexualities have the same feelings.
Worth some. Discussions t some Point but some of my other discussion peeps have gone and gotten busy... Like edz...
I will watch the Ted talk.
I love Ted talks!
V
I watched the Ted talk, generally though although I agree there is one area I don't agree on when you are dealing with an ab-user there are deep issues to address and providing more love and more security to them will increase the ab-use.
If an addict is self harming only there may be some truth, but deep loving of someone who has multiple As does not seem the right thing to me.
His strategy worked to get me away from my drug of choice WH that and complete withdrawal.
V
Yeah, it doesn't really apply to abuse.
You can protect your self tho it was interesting as it talks about people with compulsive behaivours need more connection to feel more connected.
How much of that feelling more connected comes from the outside?
How much should come from the inside?
How can one provided that without comporisming them self and leave your self open to abusers?
All intriguing thoughts to process, as it's why xh2 decided he loved his soul mate. That extordinary drug rush addiction of a new r. That big connection he felt, the one he felt we never had the one he stated he needed a above all else.
I'm doing well. Several close friends are pushing the marriage barrow towards bf. This I find a struggle it's far too soon to make such huge life changing decisions.
I'm still not sure what I want on that score, this might be better tho once settlement happens and it's being dragged out by xh2 and my L. They all move at a very slow pace.
I'm considering court as there are plenty of grey areas and h is disputing the length of time as he is stating the holidays he consistentantly went on were all times we were separated so perhaps a judge ruling is what's needed.
It's just shown how silly and trusting I was for so long and how taken in when it shows xh2 really had no intents of staying round. It shows how little store I put in his actions as the words muddied those waters so easily.
And really there are no answers, it's the same circle for the same ending which I really need to get off.
Hi Gg,
Did I read that right? You friends are talking about marriage to bf already?
Things may be going great but that just sounds foolhardy to me. Besides if you send the rest if your lives together, why rush?
Unfortunately I don't think you can fully protect yourself from abusers, to live you gave to be open and to take that risk and there us always a chance that you'll get hurt (whether by accident or by abuse) but the alternative us to close ourselves off - and that's not much fun either.
Hope you're having a good day
I concern myself for Gg with a rush to a full on R.
Like Jim I caution patience although I have never know Gg without her own mind.
I just think frying pans and fire.
V
Yeah, I know right. It's just they want to know what going on.
It's them trying to just check things are working and being a bit over excited at the same time.
Basically I want it to be the best R ever for you Gg.
So excuse me if I am cautious on your behalf, which is my concern not yours. Take that as you will.
V
I do too nilla, and cautious is good.
Went out today to the best gossip place ever. While there ran into rhc (while the gossips says he's dating my observation is he's chatting up unavailable women) sad to see but he's getting out and I'm really pleased how much progress he's made.
Stalker dude was there and gave me a wide birth with bf, but later could hardly help himself. Xh2 second bestie he refused to even say hello, but later just kept giving me odd looks. The gossip tree will be in flames and tatters.
Oh and a couple of xh2 relatives well they were positively friendly and acted as of nothing had changed. So set the world alight people and you never know what's out there just waiting for you.
Have not checked in on my fabulous Gg for quite a while.
So I am very keen to hear, I always giggle at your gossipy town and the small minds.
How is wonky Lambie? I love wonky Lambie and gf and the horses. One day I would love to visit and see them all.
And the RHC and...........
And........
V
And so the rumour mills keep turning.
Gossipy neighbours encouraged by bf house mate rolls eyes. Was seen eating out.
the shock horror
it was a Sunday tradition but we went out sat, seems a different crowd saw us.
Seems that means your about the announce an engagement or you already have!
It's soooooooo very wrong on many levels.
xh2 has done some crazed stuff and has just helped out my evidence by his stupidity. He refuses the idea of settlement and I think court might be the option. Which means gg might do very nicely, much better than I wanted to at the start.
Hi Gg, just catching up on your adventures.
Real question for you - your new BF - it seems like it was almost accidental but moved fast. They say that can be a flag, did you ever feel love bombed there or like your time with him was pressed early?
Do you have any misgivings in your gut about if he is safe or not?
I ask, as I consider my future, and dating, wondering what it is like to date after a real rollercoaster, how easy is it to trust again. And somewhat concerned for you, possibly needlessly.
Sorry kiddos, been busy sick and just plain tired.
It's winter here as some of you guys know and boy last year I only had the sniffles this year, I've been coughing and coughing it's terrible.
Yes Zelda it's quick, but bf lost his wife under very tragic circumstances and was a that point where he had been pusing to move forward. Moved States moved complete across the county. I was pushing to just go anywhere. Didn't particularly care just so long as things are better.
On the plus side he's wanting to meet you half way In lots of stuff. The job thing or lack of has started to resolve. As of yesterday he's been given an opportunity that might lead to regular work. He's stepping up as has been from the get go on stuff that is blokey round the house. Not to proud to cook or clean or take on menial work..
It's hard to explain the difference in personality from either xh. Neither was gentle and seems to resort to thumping (animals in both and humans as well with xh2) or yelling. Not so here. Generous and happy to share his $ or pay his share, which xh2 did but was unhappy about and resentful and let you know.
There's a dynamic of taking up each other's interests, with 0 resentment showing at this stage. We are both learning snowboarding which is very weird. He can laugh at him self and with you in a way that's not threatening.
All of that's more just feeling rather than any great action, more a lack of reaction and resentment. Let's hope this can covert over to something long term. Be is making plans to bring his family for a visit.
And the job is moving towards full time for bf.
I'm suffering some paranoid stuff, I'm thinking the worst of what ifs!
Those of you that have Been cheated on know what I mean, what if he's just acting but still looking and cheating....
What if what if what if.... And really I've not been given any reason that I can see to even think what if. I've just got that whole lizard out of the control breathe holding fear based reaction.
I'm trying to take risks, while being cautious but that big attraction isn't helping any rational stuff too much. On paper given I don't have a lot but could loose it all to him if things went south it's a huge gamble.
And so we get back to its crazed stupid not logical match and what if it's just an act.
That act xh2 said he played for all those years putting up with my stupidity. I keep falling off the diet wagon of late too
There's a new lamb, wonky lambie made it thru the winter and is looking like making one year old. There are horsey babies due by the looks and that's exciting. S17 has been scarce since the wood incident.
His dawg has been yodelling and marking the couch so he now sporting a belly band in the.house so he can't mark the furniture anymore. On that the boundary line is drawn.
It's just tough working out what's gunna happen long term to get out of th half limbo state and working out if my paranoida is justified or not. I'm taking the whole one day at a time and the truth will come out in time on my paranoia.
Hi GG, I think the answer is to take things at your own pace. When we are in the infatuation phase of falling in love isn't the time to make big decisions about whether we want to be with someone. It is best to let that love mature and settle first.
Also, I think it is important to look after yourself, your own interests and assets first - so that you don't even have the fear of losing them to someone else. I'm not sure that I would enter wholesale into M now and risk losing assets to someone else, particularly if they have few assets and I have many. But maybe I'm still a little raw.
In your sitch, I think it is worth thinking about. And the job sitch is a concern perhaps? Maybe wait and see how things settle on that front? Has your BF actually moved in now? Good to hear that winter is drawing to a close and spring is on the way for you guys!!
Take care, Sotto xx
Sad to hear you have had some bugs.
Happy to hear about Wonky old Lambie.
I concern myself with my internet friend Gg, you really are very special to me and I want to see you happy, very happy.
More than that I want to see you safe. In all ways, fins included. You work hard and deserve the best of everything.
Whatever decisions you make Gg, I am here to repay the enormous debt that I owe you, you only have to say and I will be there for you.
V
Trust will be hard, I imagine. I think it is okay to honor that and move slow as you are comfortable and not try to push past 'lizard breaths or thoughts.' I believe your paranoia is justifiable. And I do not want to negatively add to it, but I can say wolves often appear in sheep's clothing. My dear gentle X had all those lovely qualities that you describe, and unfortunately only time will tell.
Thinking of you, Gg. Keep your eyes and heart wide open. I fear we end up with turds because we turn blind, overly-understanding eyes their way too often.
I think of that quote, a bird's trust is not on the branch she stands on, but her wings. If he does cheat and turns into something else, you'll know it was not you and that you have been through worse...Next please.
Perhaps when enough time has passed and the lizard part of your self relaxes enough, you'll know he's worth more investment. I believe it will happen with quite a bit of synergy if its a good thing for you.
Do you see a professional at all? Ever? I know how it feels to not be able to trust your own judgement. Lately i laugh with my girlfriends - "I wouldn't even know 'normal' anymore" - I'd say if you feel stuck and unable to relax for no good reason, maybe it is worth considering after a time?
Fumbles around..... Where in earth are my damn keys?
Seems I had an enforced break I lost me door keys to db, due to software updates. Once I accidentally managed to get in, but then got booted back out.
Well things have been very interesting!
Who's for a long winded up date?
Ok so the circle of life has come round again.
The lambs number 2 one was a bit sick, but she's really good now. There were a couple of foals in quick succession. Very exciting time and have plenty of baby visitors.
Bf has another job and it's going really well. He.loves it. He's astounded at how far and how much things can change in just one year. The one year of his wife's death is this weekend. He is expecting her family to get in touch, they had taken sides and wanted him to stay single forever. They were not happy when he gal, regardless if he was just getting out.
Plans are being made for next month next week next year... Things are just crusing.
Gossips have been whirling still, Radom phone calls and strange happenings.
A very strange fb friend request...... I can hear you all going no he didn't.
And you would be wrong... If you thought he didn't!
The crazee things keep coming xh2 is looking very old when I spotted him recently almost totally grey or white haired and fatter than I have ever seen him tbh. I didn't even know it was him, such a change in such a short time.
Maybe I wasn't too far wrong saying mlc?
I'm happier far happier, still feeling in limbo in one hand and another I'm still smitten.
My ic has been off due to a major broken bone. Sometimes tho things flip and flop and that's ok. They are just feeling and now I know they do change and quickly too.
I too get where your at zelda, I feel both lucky and scared.
I need someone in my life, even tho the separation was basically the first few days of '13 there had been very few on my needs met for a long time. In so many ways it was a empty well. I was numb and empty.
The things I needed most of just have someone close that other person in bed that human comfort had been once since early'12. About the time the real threats started.
It's so very nice, to. Have caring gentle company regardless of if it becomes forever. A simple back stroke. Is just heavenly.
Hi GG, it's good to hear from you and I'm glad things are going well with your new chap. Are you saying that your ex sent you a friend request on FB??!!
It sounds as though you are taking the current R for what it is and not moving things too fast, which I think is wise. It would be pretty early for you both after some big traumas to make a huge commitment to each other. Much better to just enjoy the romance and companionship and give yourselves some time I think.
Hope things continue to go well for you xx
Great to have your update GG.
It's funny how bad Karma shows in the body.
I trust you are taking care of your health.
More later
V
The request is really bizarre, xh2 took great delight before at total rejection before. Refusing to take calls answer emails.... You name it. Must be a touch and go.... Won't be any touch back, I'm sorry but I'm not subjecting myself to anymore of his humiliation.
Still walks around with ow, attached to his hand. I guess she know just how trust worthy he ain't! So feels the need to advertise.
Given some of his really bad behaviours, it's total dark and nc, if you back thru the threads it was a decision I made early on. I wasn't going to disrespect my new person if I was making that decision to move on, by having him hanging around as a friend.
There is no reason to. No children, no life, no circle of friends anymore.
Life just moved on, while I was dark and he refused to see or think it would happen. Tough.
I am so glad to see you updating, and that things are going well. Interesting turn of events with the FB request. I smell trouble in paradise on their side of the street--but not your problem. Reject!
To be real honest think is sad but funny at the same time.
It's not my job to punish nor do I operate that way, but life does have a way of giving you consequences.
To things I wanted to talk about that list nilla did about nc and moving on it was good. I sort of did that without even realising. Another thing on top of that I have done deliberately was take all xh2 deliberate complaints of things I couldn't do or was character wise and broke them down to a list.
1 I can't cook...
Well I hosted dinners now with bf each time I cook I remind myself of ^ and laugh at how nice dinner was last night home made pizza including the dough. All from scratch. Tick projection
2. Dishonest
Well that's not true and each time I answer something it's honest. I make sure. Tick projection
2. Lazy
Well just look back Thru some threads where I talk about my 12hour work day and how this year instead of a full time and 3 other assorted casual jobs I have 2. Tick projection
3. Didn't pay my share. (Was a taker)
Looked thru xh2 last year of statements showed where I paid and just how much...
Big tick I did my share and more hence I broke
4. Other big ticks include mean nasty angry arumenative for the sake of argument.
Big tick for projection here. bf States for the angry often in very stressful sitches "how can you be so calm?"
Things I heaped on my self included being trusting enough and realaxed enough to be intermit in the bedroom and enjoy. These I ticked off. Before bf, with a gb bootie call.
I proved with all the rubbish that I can and my worth wasn't dictated by him. Ever.
I do know my list won't stand for lots I allowed before. I won't allow myself to be assaulted even as xh2 said accidentally. Nor will I allow those humiliating behaviours he used so well in the guise of making me better.
I also just won't be bothered thinking I can offer others anything they need. They need something they can just ask. I won't help out expecting a return either that was a complaint of xh2 he never got enough return on investment. That's not any kind of r friend or otherwise I want to be in.
Something I will advise any one who reads make a list of complaints it was talked about here. If you are like me and unsure due to abuse how true and where you might need to work on your self see if others make similar complaints.
Tick off the list, you might be surprised how much isn't valid. As cadet says spend the time.
Hi Gg.
Great to see you back and it seems like things are going well for you.
I think that list is a good one. It's easy to take what they say to heart no matter how unfounded.
I've found looking at the lies my XW is clinging onto in the divorce paperwork makes me realise just how my M can't gave been good for me.
Have a great weekend.
If she really wanted jim gone why would she cling?
Cause she's not sure she done... Not 100% sure and down in the bit she might not even see she is still attached.
Just my take otherwise you divorce and let go.....
Well big weekend, got the weaning foal weaned.
Had a really great refresh session with her, she's been being a horse for months with no handling. She's doing really well.
Spent ages yesterday in the electric fence, that's still not finished and on yet. As mentioned before else where, sore foot. Filled the bins a few weeks In a row on the outside de cluttering program. Should have been finishing the inside de clutter but the fence was needed to stop horses getting involved in boy competions the whole mines bigger than yours type!
Trimmed a horse and boy with super long feet it's a tough process.
Tagged and vaccinated lambs and the bigger one decided he didn't like my choice of earring and ripped his ear completely open.
Handled the new babies and they are just cute as buttons and Love a good scratch.
In a amongst that was house chores and washing was supposed to go out tea over weekend but just didn't have time, GAL they say who has time?
Plans are in place for quite a few horse outings this year, time is flying faster than you can blink.
Also been catching up with a few of you round here.for some. Things have really improved both for better and for worse. Some have found happiness regardless of the outcome, and that's big.
Well another hurdle crossed.
A weekend away doing horsey things, bf was so keen and so enthused he wants to do it again. And the kicker he's still a novice it was pretty hot and tiring. Lambs had to come with as I had no baby sitter at short notice.
Washing machine died, so new one bought. Things are green and lush for spring. Will be working on the breaker (young horse mouthing) and was invited to a party but work will get in the way of that. Can't get things rolling with the truck licence so it's on hold for a couple of months.
Sunday will more than likely Dinner out. Got to finish the de cluttering program and tidy up various bits of gear. House work is never done.
Prepping for the next comp in a few weeks too. Can't decided about the end of the month comp, it's close but a bit soon and Christmas is coming up very soon. Need to do puddings and shopping for that.
It's been great catching up with every ones stich, even gb and a couple of others on Mlc forum. It's seems their sitches are just crazier and more drawn out.
Life seems to be in fast forward now compared to the beginning when it was in slow mo.
It's doesn't take that long like the turning of ship it gets faster and faster, you have just got to start moving.
Well not really nilla, been very very busy,
Need to catch up on Christmas shopping, I haven't started to prepare and Christmas is fast sneaking up on me. I'm planing and kicking goals or heading in the way of some goals.
Christmas might include some Time to go met bf family. So far mine have been hard to get to catch up with. Xh2 did a good job of putting a wedge in, along with some of the changes that started some time ago before the m break. My family just don't want the drama and I can see their side so I don't push.
Not sure what's happening for acutal Christmas Day. It may be the turn about where things are just me, which will be ok.
I have been thinking about the friend request, it's came just after I was seen, with bc by xh2 cousin at an event in which xh2 and ow were there. I didn't see them, but I didn't stay long nor even look for them.
There are big rumors about bf, so I'm sure there is no secret even from my family.
You have such a nice perspective, Ggrass. Glad to hear things are moving well for you. Your life sounds full and happy. Hugs to you!!
It's become very busy, far busier mayb, than I ever wanted when I went and gal.
Far busier than I wanted at bd, but it's my way, it's more about me. I need to just get some focus and head in a more organised way.
Weight needs to be more carefully managed. I'm not sure why I keep indulging in junk. I seem to have fallen of the food Wagon in a huge way. Bad stuff most days, worse stuff on the really bad days. Need to just focus on making great choices. More prep, concentrate in servings, which have been getting bigger. I haven't fitted in formal exercise either, but doing lots of walking back and forth to horses and Woking with them is keeping me moving if nothing else.
Gg Christmas, crinky!
Who thought Christams would come this year.
I am concerned about the lack of kick ass heels, to me this symbolises the sass of my lovely Gg.
It is part of you that I believe is core to you, have you lost this, when will you find the time?
V
Been out a couple of times this week, went to the local club and in the raffles won a lamb leg and veg pack. Exactly what I needed I had a lamb order of a whole dressed lamb arrive yesterday!
Getting ready for my event and trying to serve mares. Having a hard time on that this and miss my AV! Seems xh2 needed it more
more and more I think he's mlc and using the damn thing for a hat! Along with my armpit length surgical gloves.....
Eeeeewwww anyone what that vision to stop?
at least I'm getting giggles from the odd behaivour. Half composed and decided what I want the L to do need to start that wheel rolling and I suspect the mlc xh2 will just be too arrogant to get out of the way.
Started preparing for this weekends events, it will be big, tiring and fun.
Simply cannot wait. Big group of us going too... Big road trip gal type party but including horses as well. Bbq, whines of the grape sort and horse what more could one want?
Oh and I repaired the dress that the slowest racing dawg in the whole world ate the piece out of, but it made the others giggle what he (stretch) was planing to do with it. It was one the blokes of town thought was black, cause it had too much beewbs in it! Aka as cleveage.
The highest odd were in favour of him wanting a bed that smelled as comforting as gg!
Omg I bought more shoes in fact, importing boots from the USA!
Whoooot whooooott, oh well no such thing as too many shoes, right girls?
Stirred up the L, so far nothing has come back from her. Getting my evidence of xh2 lies is getting far easier, things just pop up.
The longer he is stringing it out the more stuff is turning up, the emails where he admits to asulting s15 (then) but where he actively Re writes the edit of how and why. They have. Shown up other bits too.
Back truely on my game with the horses been to a couple of events and a sort of clinic. Participating in a world record attempt next year. Need to be on my a game for that. Seems I'm older and tireder than I used to be.
S17 has been posibly looking back, but he is still making excuses something he learnt from most of the men in his life. Something that's become very clear recently, he thinks if you excuses then it's not your fault.
Weather is wet, and so far Spring has been better than ever expected and grass is just leaping out of the ground.
Booked a cruise for next year just a small taster one, for bf and me. The wonders of a holiday where you can sit around and do nothing and party with bands and entertainment provided.
Gg,
I wonder if he needs it for his haemorrhoids, that still makes me smile.
It is funny how time brings forward information. In fact others are helping you and lies always surface.
I hope that's not poor old wonky lambie, I have an affection for him beyond reason.
Are the AV kits expensive? Can you get one on loan, if it's tough to manage without.
What is the world record?
Sounds awesome, I may get to say I exchanged posts with someone famous!!!
Hugs
V
It's a plowing one.
would you believe someone called me shy and retiring as a younger gg.
I told her that when I was younger I was more discreet and kept some sides of me private. Now I'm older easpcially now after every thing in the last almost 2 years I don't care. They can like me or bugga orf, it's just not my drama.
I'm not going to trade what I want for another happiness, why should I?
I don't really know of anyone who has done so for me. Unless I stand up who will, it's seems I get run down and compromised into nothingness always.
Had a very busy weekend, getting Gear out to try on horses need to get some organised and need to break at least one horse in. Got a welder mate doing welding to make various bits of equipment and the cost is beer.
So my horse teams not that far off, a rebuild from what I had, but let go due to the upside down world I was in combined with a tad of deression.
Some days the gal is so busy I need to actually take time to slow down. Best go do the bins and get some chores done. Wonky lamb lives out with the big sheep now to. I haven't seen him in a while.
New boy lamb seems to be accident prone he's broken his back leg but we think it got trod on by one of the horses. He's splinted and I hope healing. Only one week in but he's running round and only slightly slower than before.
Shy and retiring my own Gg?
Hard to believe!
Nah......
New boy lambie? Wonky v2? Is he son of Wonky?
That would make a great sequel.....
Son of Wonky.
Hugs
V
Been very busy this past week or so. Bf got very sick very quick, seems he had same Trouble as nilla septic tooth, involved a trip to hospital and few days while they worked out what was wrong.
The last mare gave birth this morning and I missed it. Healthy Colt got lots of interest in the bubs so things are moving forward th l hasn't even bothered to reply to my message to hurry. So still feeling frustrated on somethings other things are just deeding forwards.
Been wearing my new boots and they are awesome. Had some shift changes at work bd has been getting more hours at work and loving the job.
Ouch on the tooth.
Sympathy to bf. This is truly nasty stuff and oh so painful too. Quite dangerous if left untreated.
Groovy toovy boots? Please describe!
V
Well I might have to go get the exact description off the site where I bought them.
But snip toe 2 1/2 inch Cuban heel, cream and brown natural colours to go with anything good neutral colouring. Embriodered and fancy smancy cow girl style. Wore with a brown dress, chocolate coloured sort of floaty organser type over dress and a light under dress.
Went to the work lunch and the hawt dude (who was the bootie call last year gb style) he was very quite as bf called in on his way past heading home. Spent some time with the yearling today she has been really easy to train.
Helps I guess my heads in a better space. Getting gear organised to do the world record next year. Might have to go to the nosey neighbours to check out plows.
Another mare dropped off last week to honeymoon with the boys! It's all go, so have times where I'm tired.
The L hasn't responded. Which is making me very frustrated.
I Googled the boots and tracked them down. They would suit me.
V
Oh I am an enabler on that stuff.
Well today I had a blast from the past one who keeps turning up like a bad penny in some ways. Walks up at work, was I guess that very first bf you have from highs school, you know the one:
The one who you think is the one that you write stuff about and Fantasise endlessly about and think you will never have another,
Yet they cheat and do all manner of things that young hormonal teens do. Yeah that one. He did Rock up to our place where we al, used to meet up for dinner each Sunday, but after bf came on the scene. I suspect this one will now turn up on occasions till he finds out there is no opening for him, yes he's partnered.
Need to find time to go Christmas shopping and work on my young horse. Work bestie has settled with her new house so will be need some help to move she's borrowing a trailer and I might like last time go help her hands as before.
And this summer looks likes its gunna be hot. I hate hot.
I married my first bf. He was the love of my life.
I did not really date much, I am not that kind of attractive plus I was a studious serious little thing.
GG, if I had known you at school, there would have been larks.
And lovely kick ass heels. I have treated myself to a pair of boots from ebay. Will let you know.
How are the teeth?
V
Oh dear, the first real bf wasn't marring type unfortunately in my case.
He was young immature and turns out latter his father left his mum for his long term mistress. Happens, but I doubt he's changed and we shall see. My ic said no matter how much pooh you pile on the truth it wiggles out someway.
Wonderful GG,
Was out of your thread for awhile and find a BF in the game now? It's great or at least as my besties say: Some hugs and kisses do not hurt and make you feel good.
I guess as girls we need to start talking about the new lingerie and not only about the boots, well heels can go well with some Victoria Secret too. LOL
Love you talking about the horses, I grow up on a farm, had my own female black horse and still miss those days among the animals. The horses give so much in an emotional sense, they are really wonderful creatures.
I am amazed that you are still dealing with L and resolving issues with XH2. He is definitely a hard core human being.
About the gossips, it is always the same way everywhere, people enjoy the drama and is not very accepting on the fact that someone is strong enough to take reality the way it is and stand up against the odds. It is always a reason to talk about. I guess it is just a let go situation. Or for some Go to Hell situation.
No one should have a say in other people lives unless their opinion is asked, but they do what they do.
One thing has been bugging me. I updated myself on your thread and read too many times that the feeling of being less, not enough, coming short, not good enough comes several times in your comments.
GG, what is that about? I understand we go through all this nightmare of someone degrading us. But you sound as a gold woman, you are an amazing strong person and yet there is a layer of such discomfort inside of you.
I also read you are seeing a IC, any chance you are working on that side of you. It is imperative to get those nasty feelings out of yourself because they may be a key for your next R.
Feeling inferiority will always set you up in the wrong direction once some situations emerge and your reaction is based on some old wounds.
Please, let me know why you feel this way yet. I understand your XH2 did a number for years in building that inside of you, but he is gone and those feelings should be addressed and understood by you in order to get a full life.
You are a very young lady, full of energy and beauty. Life has been punching you in a head and side ways but you are still standing. So, open up here about this aggravation, it is good to talk about and get to that sweet spot where you can see very clear that you are not what XH2 created.
There are still some demons to deal with and I would just love you face them now and feel better tomorrow.
But, as usual I would love to meet you personally, you seem to be a lot of fun, crazy spirit, and I love it. Thanks for stopping by my thread, as you saw even after the D, I am still dealing with some crap.
Maybe I need a BF like GG. Have been missing some affection, some real hugs and kisses.
Love and hugs beautiful, let us know about the lingerie.
Pink
To a degree, yes I do feel less than at considerable amount of time.
Yes this is a hang over from xh2 who's main complaint was that I had self worth that didn't need his major input. I was more than Independant enough to just do my thang in a hay seed farm life way.
It's is also a thing that comes from work life I work in retail and as you might well be aware customers have the right to decided if we measure up and complain. I have some complain I made an off hand jokey type comment about some they bought or the way I sneezed and how I handled that event ie, not being apologetic enough to the customer.
In that regard of late there has been a big smear type campaign at work of those who want the heat of them. Therefore they make up stuff. I'm finding very clever ways to show my actions, as by standing up for one self in that regard we are called argumentive if we put our side. Our side is also not believed as its in managements interest to say x was tardy so now Ive spoken to x, she is making bulling complaints.
Also pink some of those not measuring up stories on your thread where to show those other girls who's hubbys called them hoes, that is not that uncommon and it has no cutural boundary or even country of orgin boundary. The question we should have asked when we were conpared to somthing is how does our h have knowledge of what a street walkers qualities In the ml dpt are?
And to those girls to understand that's their h justification for their behiavours of cheating etc in the longer term to make you out to be bad rather than own their share. To deflect of them onto you thus diverting the Balme and responsibility.
Thru this site and some other friends I have worked some clever ways to actually show in a my word against someone else's that I do the right thing. Which there has been a smear campaigning from xh2 and a gsslighting program that's made me look like I had some credibility issues. Those things take time to deminish.
The gossips I love, for a couple or reasons it's always funny to hear others version of your story which is often very far fetched that it is very funny. I get a giggle that those people who think they don't care spend a lot of time just shooting the breeze about me and other things which show they do care and have an interest.
Talking of stories, one gossipy story if true suggested I was completely right about xh2 he has not changed one little bit and is still up to some of his not very nice tricks. It's no wonder he protects such nasty behaivour onto others the guilty feelings he carries must be a huge burden. I can't help but have some sympthy.
But nc nc nc nc nc it's just working for me.
Oh and as for sexy nickers I spend up big time sometime ago, when bc came onto the scene.
Another fact pink I'm only a few years younger than you!
Oh and I set a push under the L.
I want this done, I want my expenses and my $ back along with my possessions,
Also getting to meet the bf family at Christmas, I'm feeling a lot of anxiety about it as we have to stay with them. First meeting and a sleep over at the pil!
He gets to spend Christmas Day with mine as first meeting. Just the day, which is far easier IMHO.
GG, sorry you needed to go through so much abuse and pain. I remember seeing my mom enduring so much. I never understood why my mom wouldn't just say enough and react against my father.
And maybe that is what happen, these cowards they induce fear and paralyze their victims. I by other hand, confronted my father once I was very young, about 15y old. He started his old accusation and fear mode and I just lost it. I jumped on him, took all the bottoms of his shirt, had my nails in his face and neck.
Well, he left to cool down and I stayed awake until he got back home, just to make sure he understood that I would not put up with that any longer. Since then, I never back down for anyone. I guess I found out that the more fear we develop, the more abusive the other person becomes.
But GG has other plans, and BF on her pocket. Along with the adventures in her farm, gossips in her neighborhood and boots, hills, and fancy lingerie. You are so much fun and amazing. Would love to visit you and ride some of those wonderful horses alongside with you.
Meeting BF's family is never very easy. Hope they are cool and things go smooth. Remember do not get to anxious and eat too much, be careful with those pounds because it is hard work to get rid of them.
Glad the situation with L and the D are getting resolved, it is time humm ! Money is always welcome and much more when it belongs to you in the first place.
Keep being GG, you are an amazing person. Next time you see your IC, try to talk about this feelings of inferiority that you develop during an abusive marriage, he may have some techniques you can use to get rid of these nasty feelings.
Remember that non one is less or more in this earth, we are all worthy. We know about a thing or two and we lack knowledge about a thing or two. No one is perfect. All what it is are people that want to be right, then they start ruling other people's life.
Be you GG, and do not care about anyone else. Whoever likes you will love you for what you are.
Hugs my friend,
Pink
To be honest I was always the stand up and fight back.
Then things change they get you to agree to things by covert stealth. Xh2 would always have his plan for certain things well out. He would defend his needs or plans over and above he would just keep hammering and pushing your boundary back and back. Til, you had no idea how you ended up there.
See an abuser trades on your generous side. They make mistakes, which need your generous forgiveness to prove your the person you say. You are in the role of constantly proving and fixing. Your mistakes of getting angry and calling him crazy or stupid or just losing your temper as some of us do from time to time is used as a major sin.
Your setting boundaries and calling them out on their behaviours will get you all sorts of covert and overt punishments so that you play the rug sweep, then the rug sweep is used as your sin. Your mum might have been so down trodden for so long that there was no win. It was your dads way or no way. Mine now I see used guns as a covert thing as well always having an illegal pistol loaded in the bed side draw. Making sure you never got a full sleep, and while he never actually hit me in the Truest sense he did kick hell out of me most times he was upset about something claiming it was beyond his control and was asleep.
What I'm trying to say via examples is they find ways to manipulate those things you know wrong and hard to explain to ways they can logically like I don't deliberately kick you but I cannot help lashing out without knowledge while asleep. Realistically I cannot prove he was doing it while awake, it could have been like sleep walking as we can all jump and move in our sleep with no malice.
Gg
It's all about control and to us as half decent humans it makes no sense especially if you haven't met it before.
I would like to see you get your essentially equipment back for your horses. WH has no use for it, other than to torment you.
I would inseminatexpect his @rse if I could.
I bought a new top for Christmas second hand.
Tons of hugs
V
Inserting somethings where the sun don't shine, is one of my major fantasies given a dark night and opportunity.
Well the rocket under the L has worked she's put together a settlement offer. Let's hope it's sorted quickly but given xh2 control issues and the fact he really still wants to maintain a Connection over you then this might still take awhile even tho the dead lines very soon after business next year.
Sweet GG,
Merry Christmas!!!! Have been thinking about you this whole XMas time. I am super curious to know how did things go with the visit to BF's family and I know today you and him are meeting your family.
Please, tell us all what happen. And I hope it was all good.
Happy your L is moving. I think the only way to stop the nightmare is facing it. In your case, there is no other way around, it is head on and try to avoid concusion.
Just always remember that he has no power over you "Ever", the only power he has is the one you allow him to have. No intimidation, no fear... just politely ask him to go to hell and don't really bother yourself.
Hope the law will help the situation and make things right so it can all be resolved soon and GG can tell us all her new adventures with BF.
Looking forward to the news from XMas.
Hugs and Kisses,
Pink
Well it was a little unusual.
My family were OK, as such pretty normal for them loud as always but a little reserved. I considered it a success. Bf thought it went really well and they are "nice" in his words.
His family it was a huge whole day drive, took the dawgs as there is always a premium on kennels etc at Christmas. My mob are happier with me. So they came too.
That's kind of where the first sticking point came, his mum and dad really aren't dog people in the same way I am. They tend to think differently and that's kind of ok if they had their own dawgs and didn't want to "help me" with mine contradicting some of the ways I relate to mine. Really in some ways it's like trying to interfere with someone else's children a tough call.
His mum is unwell on dialysis and really I think the time they will Have in their house on borrowed time. I doubt they Weill be there in 5-10 years. My guts says they will need help in their life sooner. It's hard.
So with the health issues while welcoming in some ways it was hard work, mum seems to be really pa, she just drops "nice hints" and then keeps pushing. So while the plan was a longish visit, it wasn't really easy for them so we came back sooner. Which has been nice.
Since I was home early I had big plans but the days was write off, driving about 9hours back there was a rest day then a shopping day as food was short. Yesterday and today rainy, so I have been back in the continuing fill the bin project.
Some of your might remember I was trying to fill the wheelie bin with stuff to achieve some organisation and de clutter. So the bin tonight is full
It's just to hard and big a job to do in one go. Plans are being made for future house renovations and improvements. Some will not be as hard as I though or think, others will take $ (which are short) and be on the longer time frame.
Thanks pink, it's funny how we do tend to relate and wonder how others are going.
And so the wheels and seasons keep turning.
Last years outside mare had her Bub, which is great. More horsey stuff happening, practice for the world record is in a few weeks. I cannot wait for that. Another few horsey happenings will bring a few extra $ in to pay expenses. Which will be nice. L has stalled and not answering emails again, not sure if she's still on leave from Christmas or not.
Had a really garbled dream including settlement and xh2. It was the kidded weirdest thing and keep just going on like gone with the wind or Ben hurr! Woke up exhausted totally.
Lambs are still demanding bottles, they have been weaned about 3 weeks. Work is better but I learned a tip from foos thread about retraining people not to give you a hard time when they neglect their own duties. Nice ways to remind them of their focus should be in their own garden. I seem to need to get on top of standing up and reframing how they treat you better, although I've some far there's still a ways to go.
Guess the whole journey isnt over till the fat lady sings.
I always love your updates dearest Gg, I wish I was nearer to visit you on the farm and I would be happy to move a bale of hay or two I my kick ass heels.
Biggest hugs of all
V