Link to previous thread:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...821#Post2543821So D14 having rough day today. Lots of crying. She says H talks about his new GF all the time and it makes her uncomfortable. I told her that she should tell him it makes her uncomfortable. She's afraid he will get mad at her if she does and punish her by making her stay with him (instead of moving to home state with me). I told her that wouldn't happen, and that even though I'm not H's biggest fan right now, that I do know that he loves her and that none of this is her fault. Despite his actions, he loves her. She said, "Sometimes it doesn't feel like it. He never says he loves me first. I always have to say it to him."
Can I just say -- this is heartbreaking? And there is nothing I can do. I can't tell H this, as he will find a way to turn it against me and accuse me of something. And it's none of my business. It makes me crazy that he can't see what he's doing to his daughter. That he thinks she's okay (according to her own words), when she clearly is not.
She said she didn't want to make "big-girl decisions" (meaning about the move). I confirmed that she was okay with the move, in spite of it being hard to leave friends behind, and then assured her that her dad and I would make the decisions, so she need not worry in that regard.
I hate that he is doing this to her, and he is SO BLIND. I actually passed him in his car on my way to STD testing today. I felt physically repulsed at the sight of him. Nothing in the world could convince me to go back to him the way he is now. But still, everything I believed in and trusted to be true has been ripped away. It is so painful for me and D14, but H is floating around in his happy affair bubble. ARGH!
I can imagine you would feel utterly repulsed on your way to STD testing. I'm sorry you had even a passing encounter with him at that time, it can't have helped.
I know how awful it is for you to see your D14 hurting... but be glad she's being so open with you. It sure beats the alternative, I can tell you.
I like how resolved you are, Ahoy. I hope you're letting your hurt and anger out in other ways? I can't imagine all this is hitting you as stoically as you sometimes sound.
I definitely let my hurt and anger out on these boards, and in phone conversations with friends. I'm stoic about letting go of H because I truly don't want to be involved with that damaged bit of goods, but it's hard to understand how he can be so clueless about how our D14 might feel. But he's always been kind of wrapped up in his own head, very narcissistic (loves to hear himself talk), and lacking in empathy (no close friends), so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. What surprises me is how I couldn't have seen this coming, how I was so blind to these issues.
I was just reading up on Kim Gordon/Thurston Moore Sonic Youth breakup, and she just came to a point where she realized he was truly a "lost soul." That is the EXACT way I described my H when he was telling me about his affair -- to him telling me he didn't know who he was anymore, couldn't believe he was "that guy" (who would break up his family this way, etc. He sees the problem, but can't or won't fix it. He has to pursue the affair.
I don't want that in my life. But my daughter has to keep him in her life, since he's her dad. The whole thing is hardest on her.
Terrible dreams. Daughter still sad and exhausted from crying last night. H is off having a blast, and I'm here picking up the pieces, trying to comfort D14 in the wake of his selfish acts. I know life isn't fair, and that things will get better in time, and that I need to focus on me and my daughter and the positives, but it is hard right now.
D14 complaining of headache, stabbing stomach pains, fatigue, spinning room, bad taste in mouth. She's staying home from school. This is the second time in two weeks. I think it might be anxiety-related, as she had a really difficult night. I feel like I can't talk to her dad about this because he will think I am somehow blaming him.
Ahoy, I'm so sorry that your D is having a bad time. And I'm sorry that you feel like you can't share it with her dad. That must be lonely. Hugs to you (((Ahoy)))
Argh. Just got a call asking for H -- he places orders for things, but never bothers to update his phone number or address, so I'm always having to deal with his deliveries. This time I just told the guy calling that H doesn't live here anymore because he left his family. I don't care! I'm sick of his nonsense and always having to take care of his business. I have my hands full dealing with D14's emotionally induced physical issues, which he knows nothing about because he wants to pretend everything is fine.
Ahoy, no words of wisdom for you, I just wanted to say that I hope your D feels better soon.
Take care, Barry
I hear you. I've also been telling people that -- mostly because I had to because things like the electric bill aren't in my name and require action on his part. I hate the pity I see from them and I hate the finagling.
I hope your daughter feels better and that you can help her find some coping skills.
Ahoy, just wanted you to know we are thinking of you and D14, and sending hugs your way.
Take care.
Oh Yeah- I know that one well. Just had to explain it to the Vet and what seemed like his entire staff a few weeks ago - to make sure they called the right contact number with an update on my dog.
I'm sorry about D14, Ahoy. I presume, given what you've written that she's not ok talking to her dad about what's going on with her. What a tough age.
Yeah, she doesn't want to tell him how she feels because she thinks he will get angry at her. And she says he doesn't want to know how she really feels because he just wants everything to be happy and normal.
I just keep encouraging her to keep an open line of communication with him and to tell him when she is uncomfortable, whether he is able to hear her right now or not. She tried this -- talking to him about how she wanted to keep the house to stay near friends instead of sell it to buy another place nearby -- and he dismissed her (he could afford the house easily, so there is something else motivating him in that regard, probably related to his AP).
She says that she fell down the stairs and he didn't bother to ask if she was okay. She texted me to say that he seemed to care more about the dog than her. She says that when she's at his place, he just works all the time and doesn't interact with her (he has "poor time management" according to her). In fact, H complained that he hadn't been able to take care of some of our dissolution paperwork because he was being "interrupted every hour" in the evenings by her. (!!!)
I guess I'm just surprised that he is so checked out as a parent and so oblivious to her needs, being so wrapped up in his own right now.
I feel good about moving forward with the dissolution, but I feel terrible for D14. And helpless.
Well- there is the old standby of counseling. Do you think D14 could benefit?
I just spoke to her about counseling again this morning. She says she is not ready to go. I mentioned that I thought some of her physical issues might be anxiety-related, and she agreed. I told her counseling would help. I told her that I understood that she isn't ready, but if the physical issues continue that we would need to see a doctor, and a counselor. She seemed to understand.
Sometimes I think she just doesn't want to be forced to talk about things on a schedule. Some days she is open to sharing her feelings, others not so much. And I'm sure for her there is the fear of the unknown.
I'm sure I would have been frightened of the idea of counseling at that age. I suspect if she got past the first session she would be ok with it - but you're right - it's better on her timeline.
Hugs to you and her.
More tears from D14 last night, but not as many. We both got a better night's sleep. Tomorrow I meet with H to fill out affidavit. I'm hoping this will speed up the process -- why does it take so long for the lawyers to coordinate everything? I really want to have everything filed by the end of this month at the very latest. Don't know if that's possible...
It's just business to the lawyers - they don't have the vested personal interest that we do and they are coordinating multiple cases. I was surprised by that too - they are by far the slowest part of this.
Glad to hear D 14 is a little better.
Just got STD test results back: all clear, thank goodness!
Glad to hear that, Ahoy! I did the same thing (with the same results!)
Affidavit completed, taxes filed! Two more steps forward. Closer to done every day.
Affidavit completed, taxes filed! Two more steps forward. Closer to done every day.
And are you feeling OK with that, Ahoy? Happy, sad, relieved, excited?
(((Ahoy)))...prayers for you and your D. Hope things get better.
Thank you guys! I feel good about moving forward. I don't know that happy is the right word for it, or even relieved, since I know I have more legal negotiations to get through, which are likely to be stressful. But I feel good about my decision to move on with my life.
My daughter struggles, and that makes it hard, but I was not the one to blow up the family. All I can do is love and support her as best I can and hope that she can learn and grow from the experience. And hopefully look out for herself in relationships as well.
Pleased your health is ok and things are gradually moving forward.
Is D any better with her tummy?
V
Hi Ahoy, glad the process is moving on for you, sorry to her D14 is not taking it well. As you say, hopefully she will learn from it and move forward.
Take care, Rd
Hi Ahoy, that's great news about your test results.
I'm not overly familiar with your sitch. I wanted to comment on this part of your post though.
My daughter struggles, and that makes it hard, but I was not the one to blow up the family.
Seems like a lot of anger in this statement ^^^. I understand why you are angry. Affairs are hard and they hurt. That's a horrible choice for someone to make, but it still takes two for a marriage to breakdown. It seems like you are assigning all blame to him with this statement. I may be misinterpreting your intent. Or you may just be venting which is fine. Do you think your daughter picks up on the fact that you feel this way though?
Anger is a normal part of the process. Try not to hang on to it for so long that it makes you miserable though. You will be happy again someday.
Hi Vanilla -- Yes, she is feeling better. Part of the issue was that she was staying up late watching YouTube (unbeknownst to me). I figured it out, and now she is getting more sleep.
Thank you, rd! This week we are signing over the car titles and hiring a realtor to sell the house. I'm selling a bunch of my stuff on Craigslist in advance of the move. Feeling good!
Thanks for chiming in, Heart. Yes, I'm angry that he has done this to our family and that my daughter is suffering. I don't think I would be human if I didn't feel that. But I don't share that with him! I keep it positive and businesslike and professional with him. If I were trying to reconcile with him, then I would probably try to bury my anger, but we are pursuing dissolution, and I am happy to be making a new life for myself without him. I don't think -- for me -- that a marriage can survive without trust, and that trust has been destroyed. I'm sad for my daughter, but I myself and quite happy to be moving on!
PS I would like to say to all going through this: Nothing you did CAUSED your spouse to cheat. That decision was all theirs. If they were unhappy with you, they had a responsibility to speak up and not blindside you. So no, I won't be taking the blame for destroying my family. Was I a perfect wife? No -- but I was pretty darn good! No one is a perfect partner, but that does not give the other person a valid reason to cheat in my book. I supported my H through 15 years of grad school and job opportunities (sacrificing my own), just to be dumped after a diagnosis of brain tumors. So yeah, not taking the blame for this one. I always tried to do the right thing in my marriage -- even now. He wants an amicable divorce and to move on with his younger girlfriend, and I am accepting that and helping to make that happen. So be it.
Agreed Ahoy-
I will take full responsibility for contributing to problems in the marriage, and I'm expending considerable effort in addressing those issues.
But the fact that I contributed to problems in my marriage does not make it ok for my spouse to have an affair and abruptly move out to be with the OW. That was a destructive move, particularly since, much like your situation, there was no constructive effort to fix whatever was the problem.
You know - people are flawed, people have affairs. I can't say that I ever have, but I was certainly willing to work with STBX when I first found out. I understand that he is probably in some pain. But he's an adult, who has had a lot of advantages in his life, and he knows the difference between right and wrong. If he had left simply because of the issues in the marriage, I probably would have felt more responsible. But that isn't what happened to either one of us.
Glad to hear things are moving along for you.
I'm in no way saying that you should take responsibility for the A. My H had one also, and I don't own that, he does. I meant that we all have things we need to own from the marriage. I was trying to highlight the anger because your D may be picking up on it.
PS I would like to say to all going through this: Nothing you did CAUSED your spouse to cheat. That decision was all theirs. If they were unhappy with you, they had a responsibility to speak up and not blindside you. So no, I won't be taking the blame for destroying my family. Was I a perfect wife? No -- but I was pretty darn good! No one is a perfect partner, but that does not give the other person a valid reason to cheat in my book.
I'm with you Ahoy. My fool of a H doesn't know just how good a W I was. Not perfect. But good. Fool.
Likewise. I even asked him what he thought he was solving with his one-night stands and he said it wasn't a solution, that he just didn't know what he wanted.
Give me a break. I'm a smart cookie. I don't want to go through life with someone so thoroughly avoidant that he thinks HE can decide what HE wants by unzipping his pants for strangers. As though he has no responsibilities to anyone else. I did a LOT for him, and if I wasn't perfect, well, neither was he.
Nope, not taking the blame for that.
Anymore.
Love you ladies! Stay strong and carry on!
Exchanged car titles and put the house on the market today. Have a showing scheduled for Sunday. Onward!
Put the house on the market. Had seven showings on the very first day AND a good offer. Hooray! Another hurdle almost cleared. . .
Getting closer to the finish line. Now if I could just get the paperwork back from his L.
Hi Ahoy. You seem to be moving towards your goal at great speed. How are you feeling about it at the moment and what's your Ds thoughts ? Take care. Rd
Love it! I can't wait to have this nightmare over. I look at my H and feel completely repulsed by the person he's become. I am much happier on my own, and am looking forward to moving on with my life. My daughter is BEGGING to move away from him. Not because of anything I've said to her, mind you. I constantly remind her that no matter what, her father loves her. I am careful not to bad-mouth him. But he is damaging that relationship all by himself by not listening to her and not prioritizing her needs above his crotch. The sooner I have him out of my life, the better.
Hi Ahoy
I'm glad that you feel happier on your own and are looking forward to your future. You're right in your post above, that no-one deserves to be cheated on. It doesn't matter if they are the "perfect" spouse or not...Is there even such a thing??
I wish you lots of luck.
Barry.
Got adjustments to paperwork from his L at last. Now in the haggling stage. I hope it goes quickly. I was married to a hologram. It was only a matter of time before he went "poof" and I'm glad he's not going to waste any more of my time.
D14 is sad about the sale of the house. She had pleaded with her dad to keep it, but he wouldn't even though he could have. I am seeing a lot of anger in her toward her dad this week. He has no idea how much he's damaged his relationship with her. I hope, for her sake, that she'll be able to move past her anger toward him and have a good relationship with him. But, as she told him herself, she doesn't trust him. How could she? He pulled the carpet out from under our family with no warning? And he expects her to be fine with that? His correspondence from the L is so full of self-entitlement and narcissism that it helps me see why it's best for me to move on with my life. Who on earth would want a partner like that?
It sounds like things are going your way. I have been tied up with moving and super busy at work, but I am still reading and seeing what is going on with you. Keep on moving on! Your strength is so inspirational.
Very strong sounding Ahoy. Things moving fast for you. So sorry D is upset and her R with her dad is not what it should be. Tough for you to see and deal with. I hope you H starts to see what he's doing to his child and thinks better of it. Please take care. Rd
So found out through mutual friend that H bought a new house (also heard he was looking through D14). so he gets to happily move on -- has his great career that I made possible for him, his own home in a good neighborhood in the midst of all our friends, a new young girlfriend, fancy new clothes and haircut, dog, etc.
Me? I get to sell all my belongings and move in with my parents in the small town I vowed never to return to. But I'll get my daughter 70% of the time, and I'll also have something that he won't that's more important than anything: her respect.
Hi Ahoy. Things keep going on in your sitch. I don't know about laws where you live but as you are both still married don't you have rights over anything he owns ? If your H is spending money that was earned during your M then surely your are entitled to a share. I'm not suggesting you take anything that's not yours but if the money is from the family earnings.
Stay strong and take care. Rd
Ahoy, I see RD's point. Why is H's new house not half yours?
We already split up the money -- I was smart and did that right away. Now we are just negotiating the disparity in our retirement funds vs. the equity in the house we are selling. Our bank accounts are totally separate.
Wow...things are moving quickly for you now too. I think that your attitude about having your daughter's respect is amazing. That is a priceless asset and you and she will continue to draw an even closer bond that will be so amazing.
Continuing to keep you in my thoughts as you prepare to move forward. I am rooting for you and feel like we are kindred spirits in a way, in our situations and our closeness of age.
Dawn, I wish my process had been as quick as yours! You make me look like a slowpoke. Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts. It means a lot. Even though this is the outcome I want, absolutely, I still have difficult days where I still just can't believe it. The shock of the betrayal still hurts. I'm trying to recognize when I'm sinking into self-pity so I won't wallow in it but instead focus my energies on moving forward in a positive way.
So H sent nasty text last night in response to legal correspondence. Threatened not to let me move D14 out of state if he didn't get what he wanted -- something in the parenting plan that I had already told him was fine! He has no memory, I swear.
I told him not to confuse my L's correspondence and tone as coming from me, and to not jump to the worst conclusions. I reminded him that I have been kind and accommodating to his requests all along. He calmed down.
I told him I had also been upset by his L's language but hadn't said anything to him. Then some quiet sobbing ensued on my end, triggered by financial discussion of how I had assisted him with getting his good salaried job, supporting him over the years, etc.
He said he cried too sometimes but "We both tried." What? In what way was he "trying"? And how did I not get that memo? I didn't even know anything was wrong. And he didn't give me a chance to "try." Honestly, it made me so mad. It was all I could do not to say "Um, actually you just abandoned me and ran off with a younger woman." No trying happened -- he wouldn't even do real counseling with me. But luckily I STFU and said I had to go take care of something else. He is clinging to his narrative that he and I just drifted apart and couldn't get along (somehow I was unaware of this throughout our marriage?!). I have my narrative, which I know is the truth: He became engaged in an EA with OW, then left me to pursue her. That is the truth, but he will never take ownership because then he will have to confront his guilt in dissolving the family and abandoning me when I needed him most (i.e. brain tumor issues).
The good thing about the conversation is that it reminded me: 1. His memory is no good -- something I've known a long time 2. He is never going to admit to wrongdoing or be honest about the affair's beginning 3. I do not want to be with him ever again. He is a truly disordered individual suffering from narcissism, filled with self-righteousness and entitlement. Have fun with that OW! It's only a matter of time before she will figure it out for herself. I would like to thank her for taking him off my hands.
Now working on dividing retirement/home equity stuff. Hope to clear this last hurdle and move on as soon as possible.
Now that the house has found a buyer, I can start moving things down to my home state. This week I'm making the 20-hour road trip to move a few things down in advance. Really looking forward to it. Picked up a book on tape about meditation to deal with anxiety. The realtor will be getting a few things fixed on the house per the buyer's request while I'm away.
I'm getting to a place -- or at least I aspire to get to a place -- where I don't constantly stew over the false narrative that H is promoting regarding the demise of our marriage. A discussion wouldn't change anything, and I will never get any true apology or remorse from him for his cheating and destroying our family while pretending to be happily in love with me, and for failing to communicate his unhappiness so we could make things better. I need to let go and truly move on. I need to let thoughts of him, and trying to figure out what he's been thinking/doing, diminish into the background and not figure so prominently. Time and distance will help significantly in that regard, I suspect.
Most of all, I want peace of mind. I want to be free of the fear and anxiety that comes with a major life change. I want to embrace the challenges that this new chapter presents as if it were a daring adventure, rather than a failure and retreat.
I think I can do that. But what I am less certain of is ever being able to trust again. I just don't know if that's possible. To love wholly, you have to be vulnerable. I'm not going to be able to do that for a long time, I suspect.
Most of all, I want peace of mind. I want to be free of the fear and anxiety that comes with a major life change. I want to embrace the challenges that this new chapter presents as if it were a daring adventure, rather than a failure and retreat.
I bet this happens when your life starts feeling like you are driving it, rather than reacting to the conditions HIS choices have imposed. Perhaps like me you still feel like you are accommodating what he wants? Even if you're making your own choices, these aren't the ones you would have made on your own.
But what I am less certain of is ever being able to trust again. I just don't know if that's possible. To love wholly, you have to be vulnerable. I'm not going to be able to do that for a long time, I suspect.
My attitude has become... if I love again (which I think we both will; we're pretty young!) it will be part of a long, deep friendship. A proven friendship. No quick trust. But under those circumstances, the vulnerability and trust will have been earned as we go.
Ahoy, my dear, it is nice to hear you vulnerable and hurting. Not because I wish you pain, but because the dissolution and decisions seemed to come so readily to you. You have been a sturdy lady; I've felt like a delicate flower in comparison to you. I worried that you were in too much shock. Sharing your pain here gives me more confidence that you will be OK.
Drive safely!!! And enjoy your trip!!!
Hi Ahoy. Always impressed by your drive. I hope the move goes well and you and D settle in quickly Please give your self time to deal with all the emotions because this is all moving very fast. Take care. Rd
Thank you guys. I'm trying to see this as an opportunity for personal growth and learning. There must be something positive to emerge from all this grief and pain. Even though I am 1000% sure I don't want to be married to my H anymore, I won't deny the grieving process. But I am grieving for what I thought I had. And in truth he wasn't who I thought he was. So I think some of the crying is self-pity and feeling like an idiot, so I don't want to wallow too much in that area. Time to pick myself up and move on. Hugs to you all.
Good for you! Sounds like you are getting to a good place. I am keeping you in my positive thoughts and prayers. Good luck with the move. I am so impressed with your attitude and the place you seem to be in. I know, for me, anxiety is hard to deal with, but I like the idea of the book on tape. I hope that helps you. I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to be married to your H anymore, but not denying the grieving process. Sounds like we are in very similar places, so please know that you are not alone. I am thinking of you and rooting for you every single step of the way. And if we knew each other in person, I would sit down and have a glass of tea (or cup of coffee or whatever your beverage of choice might be) and we could commiserate our similar situations and our happy new possibilities for life. Good luck to you, Ahoy! I'm going to be following your sitch and cheering you on.
Should be signing off on the dissolution papers this week. Closing on the house sale this morning. Sold off most of possessions and prepping for the move at the end of May. Have a house lined up in home state, and arranging to have wood floors put in. Basically, getting things done and moving on with my life. I'm capable of so much more than I ever thought possible.
I've done some reading, and am seeing STBX in a new light. He has ADHD, and it's closely linked to cluster B personality disorders (narcissism, etc.), and a family history of depression and schizophrenia. He could be depressed, he could be bipolar he could have NPD. But it doesn't matter, because I don't have to care anymore. He is someone else's problem now! Whatever caused him to cheat, it was still his choice, and it's not a choice I can ever respect, and he's not a person I could ever trust. I'd rather be happy on my own, and take a chance on finding another companion in the future (although I don't need that to happen to be happy).
I am so excited to be moving on and putting him in my rear-view mirror. It will be nice to get back to the place and people I love.
I am so super excited for you! You sound so positive and like you are really excited about moving ahead. I'm telling you, as much as I once loved my XH, this whole thing has been so very freeing. Moving to your new place, getting settled, making it your own....so very cathartic. I'm rooting for you and cheering you on.
Good for you, my friend, good for you! Happy new home!
Hi Ahoy. The move seems like a positive thing , your moving on with your life which is always positive. How's D ? Did relations with H improve ? Sounds like a really busy time for and I wish you all the best Take care. Rd
Congratulations on having things come together so beautifully! I hope it continues to go so smoothly. And I hope you love your wood floors.
That's interesting about the adhd. It was suggested that STBX might be; his brother is receiving treatment for his and I think his dad is as well, and his dad certainly has narcissistic qualities (which I say with sincerity and zero snark).
Keep us posted!
Hi all -- D14 is doing okay -- she is often upset because STBX is very crabby these days. He brings stress on himself and takes it out on others, including her. I just try to love and reassure her as best I can. As for relations with H, I am just businesslike with him. I can handle all the minutiae of closing on the house, sorting out the legal paperwork by treating him like an unbalanced colleague. Polite, but not emotionally open to him in any way. I'm as NC as I can be, and that's the best for me.
Maybell, look up the connection between ADHD and cluster b personality disorders online. Not everyone with ADHD has them, but there is a link. Basically, impulsivity is part of the issue. My D14 had ADD, but she doesn't have those traits, so it's not true of everyone of course. But I suspect it might be true of my STBX. All the more reason to move on!
Just signed the dissolution paperwork. YAY!!!!!!!!
Next up: he signs, his L files the paperwork, we both attend mandatory parenting class, court date is set, show up in court. The end.
In the meantime, I'm busy packing and prepping for my new life back in home state. I can't wait. It will be here very soon.
Yay for you, Ahoy!!! You are sounding so upbeat. Good for you.
Pleased for you Ahoy. It's been a tough journey but seem to be happy Really
Pleased for you. Take care. Rd
Thank you, guys. I'm focusing on the future and moving my life forward, which feels so much better than trying to dissect the past constantly. I've learned and grown from it, and now I can put those lessons into practice in my new life. Thank you all for helping me along this journey. I think that the best thing about DB is that it saves you, whether you want to save your marriage or not. In my case, I do not. But I absolutely feel that I have a new lease on life.
Congratulations. It has been hard fought.
I am SO excited for you. I hope and pray that you find moving to be as cathartic as I did. The world is full of possibilities for you, my friend, so just go embrace them!
Ahoy, what a relief to have that part of the journey behind you. Wishing you all good things moving forward.
Just a quick note to say I will be signing off. My court date for the dissolution is set for next month, and I'm moving back to my home state in a couple of weeks. I am so excited to start the next chapter of my life on my own!
Thank you very much to those of you who helped guide me along the path from despair to happiness, who helped me to see that my self-worth is not dependent upon the actions of another; and that I don't need someone else to "complete" me. I am happy, I am whole, and I will do my best to guide my daughter as we shift gears and to demonstrate to her what it looks like to be a strong, independent woman.
Hugs to you all, and I wish you the best in your journey to improve your lives, whatever form that might take.
Positive thoughts and many prayers are with you, Ahoy! I'm happy for you to move forward and to model great attitudes and behaviors for your D. You ARE strong and independent and your life is your own. Best wishes to you and your D. Happy life, my friend!
Ahoy, I hope you don't really mean you are signing off. We want to know how your new life is going, it's something you've been looking forward to for a long time. I wish you all the best!
Just a quick update to all of you still in the thick of things. It can be so much better, and will be, in time. For me, no amount of dbing made a difference. I divorced, sold my house, moved back to my home state. The very day my divorce was final, I found out I got my old job back. Two weeks later I reconnected with a guy I had known for 10 years, and we have been seeing each other ever since. He is everything I need: honest, loyal, trustworthy, kind. Even so, going through this process has taught me to retain my sense of self in a relationship. I've gained the tools to have a healthier, more balanced relationship with someone who is worthy of the effort. I wish the same for you all. There's something to be learned no matter what the outcome with your spouse. For me, having moved on, I can see that the path I have taken has led to growth and a better life. Good luck to you all, and thanks to those of you who saw me through those dark, early days!
Ahoy, nice to hear your happy update! I'm really glad things are working out for you. None of us wanted to be here but you are proof that not only does life go on, it can be good. I'm right behind you.
Great update, Ahoy! Glad to hear things are going well for you.
Fantastic update Ahoy. I.m really pleased for you. Thank you for posting
Take care. Rd