It's over. - 12/19/14 05:52 PM
After almost 16 months of DBing since my WAW moved out, she accepted my latest counter-offer and is preparing a separation agreement for our upcoming absolute divorce hearing.
It was a torturous period, one that I would not wish upon anyone, but we are all here in a noble attempt to save our marriages, so kudos to us. Unfortunately, some like mine, never reconcile, and we must accept and grieve the loss and begin anew.
What made mine particularly difficult, was that up until June/July, we were seeing one another (intimately) & she maintained the (illusion) that reconciliation was perhaps possible. But I could never get her to talk about what she wanted or about our marriage. I think she was keeping me on the table as she sorted her feelings out.
I decided I needed more from her, at least some conveyance of intent, and then I didn't hear from her until mid-September, after our 1 year separation date stating she wanted a divorce.
After I received her acceptance email, I went to a local bar, & sat alone and cried. The email was bittersweet, and I almost felt sorry for her had it not been the pain she put me through since leaving. I think all of us left behind cling to some hope, even as the divorce papers are signed and we leave the courtroom, that this is just a terrible dream, and somehow, someway, we can find love in our partner again. Though I am thankful we did not have to go through grueling litigation, acknowledgement of the death of your marriage is profound, like a casket being lowered into the earth.
As rain brings new growth to once-scorched earth, I hope my future will contain another opportunity to find true love and a soul mate to grow old with and share this thing called life. I'm afraid I will male the same mistakes, so I've been trying to grow & learn through continued therapy & self-reflection.
I wish all of you struggling through this awful period to stay stay strong & hope you all have a very merry Christmas. In then end, life goes on, even if our marriages do not.
It was a torturous period, one that I would not wish upon anyone, but we are all here in a noble attempt to save our marriages, so kudos to us. Unfortunately, some like mine, never reconcile, and we must accept and grieve the loss and begin anew.
What made mine particularly difficult, was that up until June/July, we were seeing one another (intimately) & she maintained the (illusion) that reconciliation was perhaps possible. But I could never get her to talk about what she wanted or about our marriage. I think she was keeping me on the table as she sorted her feelings out.
I decided I needed more from her, at least some conveyance of intent, and then I didn't hear from her until mid-September, after our 1 year separation date stating she wanted a divorce.
After I received her acceptance email, I went to a local bar, & sat alone and cried. The email was bittersweet, and I almost felt sorry for her had it not been the pain she put me through since leaving. I think all of us left behind cling to some hope, even as the divorce papers are signed and we leave the courtroom, that this is just a terrible dream, and somehow, someway, we can find love in our partner again. Though I am thankful we did not have to go through grueling litigation, acknowledgement of the death of your marriage is profound, like a casket being lowered into the earth.
As rain brings new growth to once-scorched earth, I hope my future will contain another opportunity to find true love and a soul mate to grow old with and share this thing called life. I'm afraid I will male the same mistakes, so I've been trying to grow & learn through continued therapy & self-reflection.
I wish all of you struggling through this awful period to stay stay strong & hope you all have a very merry Christmas. In then end, life goes on, even if our marriages do not.