Divorcebusting.com
Posted By: okjpc Any LRT success stories? - 12/02/14 03:43 AM
I've only been visiting the forum for a couple of weeks now, but I haven't come across any stories about successful reconciliation after a WAS won't communicate at all. My DB coach has me "going dark" for a few weeks and it's taking all the discipline (and tears) that I have to not reach out one more time.
Posted By: Cadet Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/02/14 10:46 PM
Stick to one thread until 100 posts

Their was a success story thread just posted and it links to some more try it.
Posted By: okjpc Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/03/14 03:23 AM
I'm sorry, Cadet. Still very unclear about the rules of this. I tried to find success stories, but am having difficulty with the SEARCH feature. This is all probably obvious stuff after being here a while - and I'll keep acquainting myself with the threads - but if anyone can help me find those resources, I'd appreciate it.
Posted By: raliced Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/03/14 05:25 AM
Here you go.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2512970&page=1
Posted By: 25yearsmlc Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/03/14 07:07 AM
Originally Posted By: okjpc
I'm sorry, Cadet. Still very unclear about the rules of this. I tried to find success stories, but am having difficulty with the SEARCH feature. This is all probably obvious stuff after being here a while - and I'll keep acquainting myself with the threads - but if anyone can help me find those resources, I'd appreciate it.


I am a success story and of course a work in progress, (like most working marriages). I had a DB coach I believe was a Godsend for me. I did what she advised as closely as possible, and she never steered me wrong. Follow their advice if you understand it and if not, ASK them to clarify their advice AND to explain the reasons behind it.

That helped me navigate new issues a lot.

I hope you'll stay on one thread so we can follow you and help you. And do keep at this! Work this program b/c it DOES work.

LaBug, FaithfulHusband, DueInMay are 3 success stories off the top of my head. There are more AND btw, don't just define success as those who stayed married.

Div Busting is more like a program where you learn to love/save yourself first, and in that process, stop the co-dependent, negative patterns that hurt your marriage.

Your marriage may still end, but you will be a better, happier person regardless.

I believe that the odds are against most marriages in crisis today. But truly, your best chance at overcoming that, is here.

Keep on keeping on...you have read the books, correct? And you have a DB coach? Good! (I don't know your situation but reading the Five Love Languages is a good general book to read, IF you have already read the Db books).

So Do what they say, work the program and take solace in knowing 2 things.

1) you are NOT alone, and 2) you are doing what you can to save yourself and your marriage.

So stay the course and Be at peace.
Posted By: Cadet Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/03/14 01:17 PM
Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
I am a success story and of course a work in progress, (like most working marriages).

Hey 25 you are listed in the success stories.
Here
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2279040#Post2279040

Unfortunately only the last 3 links work and the others were purged.
You don't have those old ones laying around any wheres by any chance?

Anyways you have given wise wisdom as usual.

Okjpc I hope all these links can help you.
It actually takes quite a lot of work to put them together.

Knowledge is Power
Posted By: Mozza Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/03/14 01:42 PM
I also keep a list of success stories at the top of my threads. I plan to update it every time I start a new thread.
Posted By: okjpc Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/03/14 04:21 PM
Thank you all! I have been looking at these threads for a couple of weeks, but there is so much here! I haven't yet found a story identical to my own, but it helps to read success stories. I am still holding out hope that my WAW will speak with me again. And my DB coach hasn't lost faith. But my IC and friends think I'm holding onto false hope.
Posted By: Thornton Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/03/14 05:58 PM
Hi Ok,

I am a success story. I went full blown black out dark for a solid month right after bomb. No texts, no calls, nothing. I REALLY struggled and was in a constant state of panic. It was awful.

She eventually texted me about picking up her things from my place. I acted nice and happy. I remember I was a nervous wreck.

Then we went dark for another 2 weeks. Another text from her. More about getting her things and scheduling a time to pick them up. I was convinced it was over if she was making plans to get her things after this much time apart.

Dark for another week and another text from her. More friendly this time. We made small talk.

Eventually we started texting more often and I started testing the waters. I came here for advice every single time so I could get encouragement and pointers. Mach and Wonka were lifesavers for me.

We reconciled in July and things have been really good. I am a different person due to DB'ing. I approach issues differently now. In fact, she brings up getting married any time she can. I don't think we're ready for that yet but it definitely looks like a possibility down the road.

Patience is a virtue.
Posted By: GoatGal Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/03/14 06:40 PM
I have to chime in here that although I have not yet "busted my divorce" (or, should I say "HIS divorce"), I do consider myself a success story in progress.

Why do I say that if my future is so uncertain?

It's because during this time that H has been off in la-la-self-centered land, I have tried to follow the principles presented on this board as much as possible.

I went from a crazy woman in the depths of a full-blown PTSD crisis after H's betrayal to one who is feeling centered and in control of herself. (Most days. :))

While you many be wondering..."Well, how can that help ME? I'm not interested in feeling better and more centered, I WANT MY SPOUSE BACK!" let me tell you, it's all the same thing.

Unless you can pull yourself together, work on what you need to, present a calm, upbeat demeanor around your WAS, and start moving forward with your OWN life, there is very little chance of your spouse seeing you as anyone other than the person they are so desperate to get away from.

I went from crying all the time, throwing up, not being able to eat or sleep, and feeling fear and despair on a regular basis, to someone who is actually HAPPY with her life, even as crappy as can be with my sitch.
I am choosing to be happy; I have made new friends, and new doors are opening for me. It's been a heck of a year.

Someone said "You don't grow when life is easy and you're content and happy, you grow when you're faced with adversity". Well, I have GROWN.
I have learned more about myself than I knew I could, worked on things I needed to work on. I KNOW that whoever is in my life in the future will benefit from that, even it that person doesn't turn out to be H.
------------------------------------------------------------------

If you read Thornton's comment above ^^^^ (Hi, Thorn, welcome back!) you'll see that he applied the DBing principles to his sitch. It wasn't easy for him to keep it together, but he did it.
He came here for support before he opened his mouth and inserted his foot. He was strong. His W saw that and no doubt that appealed to her.

All this "be really nice to them to make up for all the awful things they said you did to drive them into someone else's arms" is nonsense.

Unless, of course, you did exactly that. But most of the folks on here were pretty much blindsided by the "speech" and thought that things might be going through a rough patch, but never had an inkling that their spouse was on the last train out of the station.

So--working on ourselves and feeling better in a bad situation.
That's what we all have to do, never let them see us sweat.

As for my M...well, that is still unfolding.

I can say for certain that once I started following the advice I got here, things stopped deteriorating. We can now be around each other and have pleasant interactions and he has moved quite a bit closer to me. We are now having regular phone calls, some laughs, and at least he has not pushed to further his D agenda.

But like that little squirrel, he's really afraid, too. So I must keep calm and not spook him!

The other part is, as I come to the realization that I will be fine regardless of whether or not H is with me, this is also communicated to him. For WAW especially, they need to know that their LBH are strong men who are not going to crumble when life deals them a harsh blow.

I suspect most men want their wives to be strong as well.

Check back in another year and I'll have a better answer for you.



--(G)GGG
Posted By: okjpc Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/03/14 07:14 PM
Thank you, Thornton and GG!

Going dark feels so counter-intuitive. Like it's just going to drive her away more. Also, I'm craving closeness and even if i'm sending a text or email into the void every few days, it somehow feels like i'm in proximity. But I'm letting what everyone is saying, including my DB coach, sink in.

I'm really glad to hear that things are working out for your M, Thornton, and in your life, GoatGal.

Let me ask you both - did you do DB coaching, or just read the books? And if you did, how many sessions/how often?
Posted By: Thornton Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/03/14 07:30 PM
Here's what I can tell you.

When WAW first left, she told me she felt relieved and would also feel angry at me. I remember she was posting all these happy pictures on Facebook, going out, living it up. That destroyed me. I forced myself to not go on Facebook for weeks on end.

Eventually she became sad and missed me. I completely left her alone to get to this stage.

I had one coaching session with Laurie. She was really great and helped calm me. I also read DR several times and other relationship books as well.

My saving grace was coming here just to vent because I felt so alone.
Posted By: okjpc Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/03/14 07:54 PM
Thornton,
Do you mind sharing what precipitated her leaving? Sounds like it was sudden.
(I'm sorry if you've posted this elsewhere - I haven't come across it yet)
Posted By: Starsky309 Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/03/14 08:41 PM
Hi ok,

I'd be happy to post links to my sitch if you think it will help (there's a TON of posts, I'll just warn you!!). My wife had about a 3-month affair with a much younger man in the summer of 2007, and we since successfully reconciled our marriage and are happier than ever. My approach was a little more hard-core than some, but it definitely worked for me.

Just let me know.

Starsky
Posted By: Mozza Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/03/14 08:51 PM
Hello Starsky - Yes, it would be nice to have a link. In fact, you could also consider writing in this thread one post where you'd tell your sitch - if it's not too much work. We could link to it.

I'm especially interested because, as you may know, my W left me for a man 10 years my junior about three months ago. She fell for him about 2-3 weeks after they met and now they plan to move together (in her apartment) in January. I really struggle with what to do, especially now that we're entering a sort of plateau where the separation has settled and she's living the dream with him.
Posted By: okjpc Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/03/14 09:14 PM
Starsky,

I second Mozza. I would love to read more about your sitch. I'm impressed you were able to restore the M.

Mozza, very sorry to hear about your sitch. I would very likely be eating myself up.
Posted By: Starsky309 Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/03/14 09:39 PM

Choc's threads


Puppy's threads


My wife's affair was during May - Aug 2007. Our fits-and-starts of reconcilation were mainly from Aug 2007 to early 2009.

I used to post here first as "Chocolateeyes," and then as "Puppy Dog Tails" (long story, don't ask, lol). Then "Starsky."

Happy to answer any questions . . . happy reading! cool


Choc/Puppy/Starsky
Posted By: Starsky309 Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/03/14 09:43 PM
Originally Posted By: Mozza
In fact, you could also consider writing in this thread one post where you'd tell your sitch - if it's not too much work. We could link to it.


I'm on the fly right now, Mozz, but this is copy and pasted from my own personal archives. I hope it helps someone. It should be noted that exposure is NOT advocated by MWD, and people should look elsewhere if they want to read up on the pro's and con's of it. It worked well for me, but there are portions of it I wish I would have handled differently, in hindsight.

Starsky

-------------------------------------------------------

My timeline:



She squirmed and b*tched and moaned and screamed bloody murder at first, that I refused to sit down and talk to her. Eventually, over the course of a few weeks, as she saw that I was NOT going to be either bullied nor sweet-talked (and she tried both approaches) into sitting down and having an R talk with her, she eventually stopped trying.

I confronted my wife within 24 hours of having proof she was having an affair.

I exposed her affair within 24 hours to our adult daughters, and within two weeks to her family and her employer.

I re-confronted her on Day 60, and laid out a "No More Deceit" boundary, telling her "either you tell our daughters and your parents the truth about your relationship with (OM), or I will." I had evidence, and I told her she had five minutes to decide. Within two hours, she had told all four of them the truth -- that she wasn't "just friends" with OM, and that Puppy hadn't been lying when I told them she was having an affair.

About a week later (around Day 70), I filed for divorce, after my wife stubbornly refused to end her affair.

On Day 90, she ended her affair, and asked "what will it take?" to reconcile. I laid out my short-list of non-negotiable boundaries, and we reconciled.

There were several fits-and-starts after that, with the divorce initially being put on two 3-month "stays" before finally being withdrawn. We also separated for a couple of weeks about a year ago, and agreed to date other people, but that was short-lived, and after one "date" (drinks with a former co-worker) I agreed to move back in with her to work on our marriage. We did some MCing, still struggle with the SSM thing, but have remained great friends and partners ever since, and celebrated both our 25th wedding anniversary and the birth of our first granddaughter this Spring.

Interestingly, when my wife tearfully asked for reconciliation (and thereafter), she told me that although she HATED me at the time, and was LIVID with me for exposing her affair, she understood why I did it, RESPECTED me for it, and THANKED ME for fighting for our marriage!

Puppy



My Story:

I actually had two main confrontations with my wife. Initially, I had suspicions, based on the way she was acting and some of the things she was googling on the computer (I had a keylogger). Naturally, she denied it -- twice.

Then one night I was out of town, at my dad's 80th birthday party, and she stayed home with the kids. I got an e-mail on my BlackBerry from my keylogger, showing that she was searching "older woman/younger man" and "sexual positions" etc. on the home computer. I felt sick to my stomach, and like an ox was standing on my chest. I couldn't breathe, and I didn't know if I should tell my folks and my siblings, or try to keep it to myself.

I was up all night, distraught, and phoned my wife and confronted her around midnight. "You're up late," I said. "Yeah, I couldn't sleep," she replied. She sounded nervous. "What are you doing?" I asked, and she could tell something was wrong. "Just on the computer," she said. "What's wrong?"

(pause)

"Look, I know all about you and (OM's first name), and it needs to stop. Immediately. This is incredibly disrespectful to me, to our marriage, and to our family." She tried to deny it at first, but I persisted (without revealing my intel), saying "Please STOP IT. We both know you're lying to me right now, and it's horribly disrespectful. If you're going to lie to me, I'm just going to hang up."

She then SORT of told me the truth, denying that it had become physical (which I later found out was also a lie).

I exposed to our adult daughters that night, via a phone call. My D-then-18 already knew, as she had suspected something and her and her best friend had followed her mother one night a couple of weeks ago, and caught her coming out of a bar with the guy, and saw them get into a car together. The poor thing had been keeping this all to herself, because she didn't want to upset her daddy. She broke down on the phone and cried, and so did I.

I told both her and her sister (D-then-20) that I loved their mother very much, did NOT want a divorce, but I also wasn't going tolerate this kind of disrespect. I WOULD NOT LIVE IN AN OPEN MARRIAGE. They both said they understood, and respected my position. D18 wanted to confront OM that next day, and I talked her down, and told them both just to wait until I got back from my trip and we could discuss it as a family.

I also exposed to my parents and siblings the next morning, as I felt I needed their support. In the ensuing couple of weeks, I gave my wife repeated chances to end the affair -- she refused 5-6x -- and then I finally exposed to her parents, OM's parents (he lived with his parents!) and their employer, on whose premises the affair was partly taking place. Since the kid was also studying to become a cop, and was going thru the Academy, I found out that there was a "public review" process and I wrote a letter to his file, exposing their affair, and opposing his candidacy to become a police officer.

About 50 days in, I filed for divorce, after she repeatedly threatened to divorce ME. I felt I needed to protect myself, and decided to go for full custody of our boys.

Despite all of this, and my tightening the finances to stop paying for anything that was enabling her affair (cellphone, plastic surgery payment, haircoloring, etc.), her affair continued -- heated up -- for 60 days. I then RE-confronted her, with the "NO MORE DECEIT" confrontation (it's all in my old Chocolateeyes threads; Summer of 2007). This re-confrontation took place in her car, in a department store parking lot, when I told her one evening that "we need to talk." I had decided that while I may not be able to stop her from having an affair, I damned sure wasn't going to let her continue to LIE about it to her parents and to our adult daughters, and try to say that I was being "paranoid" and accusing HER, when everything I was claiming was 100% TRUE.

I told her at this meeting "you either tell them, or I will, and I will show them my evidence."

I gave her 5 minutes to decide.

She told them.

It took about another month before she fully ended it and begged me to take her back, but make no mistake -- that night was basically the beginning of the death of her affair. She had one backslide, about 2 weeks into no-contact/transparency, which she self-confessed, and we got thru it. After two 3-month "stays" of the divorce action, I finally withdrew it the following Spring.

We had fits and starts over the next couple of years, nearing divorce twice (even met with the mediator), ending with a mutually-agreed-upon separation this summer, where we would try to date each other, but each would date other people (she had initially INSISTED on this, and I initially said it was a DEALBREAKER. I then changed my mind, based mostly on Gucci's and Robx's stuff on here). Not two weeks into that arrangement, she called me in tears (I was on my one and only "date"), and long story short, I moved back in with her and we agreed to MC and we fully reconciled.

We've had some tough moments, but our marriage is stronger than it's ever been. The MC is fantastic (had been my wife's IC), holds our feet to the fire, and we're finally starting to deal with some of our sex-starved marriage issues and my wife's problems with intimacy. Turns out MWD's books (along with Harley, Glass and some of my other faves) were all over the MC's office! I knew I had found the right place for us. My wife and I are better friends than we have ever been, have ML more in the past 3 months than we had in the past six YEARS, and I'd say we are "Piecing" at this point, to use the DB phrase.

I hope that helps. That's an awfully long answer to a short question, but I thought I'd just put it all out there.

Puppy

I should add as a P.S.

Throughout all of these "tough stances," I maintained a "loving detachment" towards my wayward wife. Oh, we had our moments -- three or four real blow-ups -- but for the most part, we managed to keep things civil. I laid out some boundaries (no family finances used to enable your affair, no TMing or phoning OM from inside our home, no TMing or phoning OM in front of our sons, from ANYWHERE, if you're going to come home after 1am, don't bother coming home, etc.), and I must say, she respected them almost completely.

The "loving" part of "loving detachment" comes easier for you, trust me, when you maintain full intel ("snooping") and you hear and see the things that I heard and saw. But I did try to "shine a light back towards the marriage, even as I never wavered from my Main Boundary ("I will not live in an open marriage") and my sub-boundaries mentioned above. I would do occasional loving Acts of Service for my wife, such as pulling her car in the garage late at nite, or covering her with a blanket when she fell asleep on the couch, kissing her on the forehead, etc.

I believe that this "hybrid" approach -- aggressive confrontation & exposure, firm boundaries, cut off all financial enabling, strong legal stance; coupled with DBing principles such as GAL, "be the better option," 180s, etc. -- is what works best when there is active infidelity involved.

Reasonable people may disagree, but this is what worked for me, and this is also what I have seen work in my time on these boards, as well as my study of literally thousands of affairs.

Puppy
Posted By: Starsky309 Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/03/14 09:59 PM
I wanted to share something with the community here, as I rarely talk about my personal life and a couple have asked about my reconciliation with the fetching Mrs. Puppy. And FULL DISCLOSURE, we STILL struggle with the SSM stuff (what I posted above gives you a feel for how wildly that swings from "on" to "off," but it has been an ongoing issue with us throughout our 30 year marriage).

As background, my wife's parents -- who lived about 10 minutes from us for most of our 30 years here -- have had declining health recently, and last May we finally convinced them to move in with us and our two adult sons (S21, s18), who still live at home while attending senior year of high school and college. My father-in-law's dementia has gotten worse and worse, and it's been one of the hardest things we've ever had to go through.

After staying with him all night one night at the hospital, when he had a stroke and we had to have him rushed to the ER, my wife wrote me the following letter. I am humbled by it, and include it here not to boast but to let everyone know just how much these things CAN be turned around. I mean, we were AT THE DIVORCE MEDIATION TABLE, with the birthdays and holidays all worked out, and the debts and assets divided. And my wife was texting "I love you!"s and "NO ONE HAS EVER DONE IT FOR ME THE WAY THAT YOU DO!" to her OM just 5 days before we reconciled.

With God, all things are possible, folks. I found when I humbled myself before Him, and finally gave my wayward wife over to Him and said "here, YOU take her. . . I can't do this anymore. PLease just work on ME, and give me strength and help me raise my children" . . . that is when things started to turn.

In the note below, she was responding to an email of mine, that I must have ended with something about giving God the glory for working thru us.

Thanks for reading.

Choc/Puppy/Starsky


From:xxxxxxx@aol.com
Sent: Thursday, March 14, 2013 4:58 PM
To:My Last Name, My First Name
Follow Up Flag:Follow up
Flag Status:Red
Page 1 of 1

3/14/2013

(My first name),

I will give God the glory first, and then to you. I know I've told you this before, that I don't know what I'd do without you, but I really mean that. For all the help, physically (pool, and other chores),financial (bills, and bill consolidation), for all the love and respect you give to my parents, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You
are the BEST example of what a man, husband, father, "pa", son, son-in-law should be. I hope you realize what
you mean to me. I know I'm not always very verbal, but never doubt how much I love you. When the world fails
me, you never have. You are my constant, my best friend, my husband, and I'm so very glad that I married you
almost 28 years ago, but more importantly I'm glad we stayed married! I can't imagine being on this journey of life
without you by my side.

Thank you for ALL you do for us (your family), and for my parents. I hope and pray that our sons will be the kind
of men someday that you are.

Love Always,
(my wife's first name)



In April of next year, I have asked my wife if she will join me as we will renew our vows in front of our closest friends and family. We have THE most perfect song picked out, that's PERFECT for DBing/piecing!!! smile
Posted By: MrBond Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/03/14 10:04 PM
Now THAT is a PIECING story!
Posted By: HPoirot Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/03/14 10:08 PM
While I like the path I'm on now with advice here... and like already said this in not encouraged here... I can see how forcing exposure to the W's parents made by the W is very effective. I think that is fair as the parents will keep the secret if asked by the W. Any problem with that?
Posted By: Starsky309 Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/03/14 10:20 PM
HP, I won't advocate or discuss exposure here, as this is MWD's site and we are here as her guests. I was asked what worked for me and so I answered with my story, but exposure is NOT recommended by DB/DR.

There are plenty of other resources out there if you want to learn more about it.


Starsky
Posted By: HPoirot Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/03/14 10:31 PM
Yes I've read those other resources and they are very convincing. I go back and forth on this as I have items and opportunity to expose with. The quiet exposure to my W's parents is one I'm still on the ledge with. I acknowledge the expert advice against here. I do think, though, it will work to frustrate the A and show strength given the way you handled it. As you know, I'm about to again take action related to my W's A. I'm considering additional options that work... not to make myself feel better. I'm not sure the thing that works is my W will know I know but only walk away without doing something more aggressive.
Posted By: okjpc Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/03/14 11:13 PM
Amazing. Thank you for sharing, Starsky.
Posted By: MCS Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/04/14 12:58 AM
Starsky,

Thank you for sharing. I can say that this is the toughest thing I've ever been through and this site and all of you folks are the rocks that I need to lean on when everything looks so dire. I struggle everyday fully giving my W over to God in this. I have faith he's going to look out for me and my kids and I'll be happy w or w/o my W; but I'm not at the point that I'm comfortable that plan may really include our family staying separated and my kids with divorced parents.

I read your letter and it brought tears to my eyes, both in future hope and past pain. I pray that some day her and I can have that type of exchange in our M. However, its so difficult because even on the night a few hours prior to BD; I felt my W could have written that letter to me, that's how blindsided and ignorant I was in what was actually going on in her life; hiding an OM that she had 'fell' in love with. I still haven't fully accepted that betrayal.
Posted By: Cadet Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/04/14 03:02 AM
Originally Posted By: Starsky309

Choc's threads


Puppy's threads


My wife's affair was during May - Aug 2007. Our fits-and-starts of reconcilation were mainly from Aug 2007 to early 2009.

I used to post here first as "Chocolateeyes," and then as "Puppy Dog Tails" (long story, don't ask, lol). Then "Starsky."

Happy to answer any questions . . . happy reading! cool


Choc/Puppy/Starsky


Just to help out when you use these links
click on the topics button in the upper right hand corner
after it lists all the posts.
Posted By: JCred Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/04/14 03:28 AM
Starsky...

You are also a CLASS ACT in helping others on this site.

The almost perfect blend of knowing how and when to say something. IMHO a great example of how to help people without them feeling hurt or attacked so that they don't get defensive. You are proof that we really need very few 2x4's to get others to follow our lead and we don't need to pressure them to shut up and listen to our "superior advice" when they are hurting and crying out for help.

I would call you a true Vet.
Less is more.


Just sayin..... wink
Posted By: okjpc Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/04/14 05:24 AM
MCS,

Thanks for your honesty. I also felt totally blindsided. The last time I saw my wife she said she was certain that I was her "soulmate" and that she loved me and didn't want to be with anyone else. Two days later she texted me and said she would be at the house with a moving van and would not be responding to any of my texts. She did not, however, have an OM. So I'm sorry you have that extra layer of betrayal.

It's still a daily struggle for me as well to detach and give my W and the R over to God. But I can say that struggle has led me to open up to others in a way I never have before. I've honestly never felt this much humility and there is a sweetness to feeling that in the midst of my ups and downs. I am getting glimpses of being the strong and independent person that many others on this forum describe themselves as becoming. Then as soon as I get that sense, I immediately wish my WAW were talking to me so I could show her what a great guy she's ignoring.
Posted By: okjpc Re: Any LRT success stories? - 12/04/14 05:27 AM
Originally Posted By: Cadet

Just to help out when you use these links
click on the topics button in the upper right hand corner
after it lists all the posts.


Thanks, Cadet. That's a helpful tip.
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