Just checking in...W and I both doing our own thing. D moving forward ..another custody discussion planned with W this weekend. Also seeing our psychiatrist/MC next week. W thinks he can help on agreeing on custody. I want shared custody 50 50, she wants me to get kids every other weekend and 1 day a week. I said need to have 2 days a week minimum and that is a compromise on my part. Hope MC tells her that is reasonable otherwise I am going for full custody and we will probably get shared 50 50 anyway. She thinks she will win in getting me only 1 day through the week. I need to remind her she may lose ...the saga continues. I have GAL and done plenty of 180s, accepted the D and will move on ...balls all in her court. Keeping a PMA. Have a great weekend everyone.
I don't understand why you would "remind" her that she may not win. And if you really want the boys as much as you say, then why have you already considering taking ess amount of day? I think you should not have any more decussions together and let your lawyer handle it. She knows she can wear you down to get what she wants.
We are going to our therapist/MC tomorrow. I have told W I want shared custody 50 50. Our lawyers said best if we can work it out because will be expensive and ugly if we battle it out and let judge decide. W said she wants to express her concerns to our therapist and get his view. I guess I will know my W's position tomorrow after our meeting with therapist.
W and I spent 45 mins together with psychiatrist/MC/therapist. I held my ground and said I put my kids needs first and they need to see their dad 50% of the time ...shared custody is all I would agree to ..W continued with her excuses why one day a week and every other weekend is what she wants for me ...After the 45 mins ...therapist said he was done with me and that I could go. I went back to work and he talked to my W for the balance of the 1 hr appt. I did not raise the issue because we all went to visit with my family for Good Friday and Saturday and then spent Easter with my wife's family and since she said nothing about the custody neither did I. Then last night before bed she says she's good with 50 50 ...and goes on to say that she wants out of the house we are in and maybe we could buy a new place with a separate entrance/"unit" for her but she stills wants to move forward with the divorce ...wtf? ...I'm so confused ..
Well good for you standing your ground!
They probably told her she didn't have a leg to stand on b/c they could not find any reason for you not having equal time with the kids. But since you didn't ask, she is trying to make it sound as if she has had a change of heart. (Sure she has!)
And now........she is trying to continue controlling you by getting you to buy another house, b/c she can't get one alone.
Sandi...that's what I don't understand because we don't have any debt and we will both have money after the divorce for me to stay where I am now and for her to buy a home for herself.
IDK, maybe she wants a live-in baby sitter. It's best not to try and figure her out, b/c you can't. Plan your life apart from hers.....it's called a D.....and that is what she wanted. Sharing a house after a D is nuts and would drive you crazy. How could either of you have a personal life living like that?
It'a a bad idea.
TOday she says she's on the edge and needs her own place. Today she says she hates me ...see what tomorrow brings. She has me so confused ...i don't understand her thinking.
I think you would be better off if you stopped trying to figure her out. Consentrate on making a life without her.
Don't forsake us. Let us hear from you.
Hi tbm4evr,
From what I understand your divorce is not finalized yet after more than 2 years? How is that possible?
If you live together, how is custody an issue? Don't you see the kids every day?
I am adding this topic to my watched topic because my wife is going through a midlife crisis as well and she is one year younger than your wife.
I am glad your wife hasn't become a walkaway wife and that you can see your kids often. That's very good actually.
I will try to read all your old posts to understand your situation better.