Billion Dollar Bill - DivorceBusting.com

Been AWOL from here for a while, haven't even read any posts lately. I think I needed a break from anything related to my old routines so I could be free to make some new ones

It has been a couple of weeks since I moved out and I'm starting to adjust properly to my new homelife.

I've been having the kids stay over with me 3 nights a week and they have been loving the sleepovers with dad, so that's made the transition easier for me and for them.

At the weekends we've been doing fun stuff and I'm looking forward to this weekend with them a lot. We are going swimming, crazy golf and out for tea

I've been putting a lot more energy and focus into my teacher training lately. I think this is because my head seems so much clearer now.

Been getting some Bill time in as well. I went to see Skyfall tonight with a friend, did 9.5 miles on Sunday morning and I'm going out for pints at the weekend with a couple of friends.

I'm in a much better place (emotionally), my PMA is fine and just wanted to let you know I'm doing good and to say hello.

Bill

Originally Posted By: breakdownbill

Been AWOL from here for a while, haven't even read any posts lately. I think I needed a break from anything related to my old routines so I could be free to make some new ones

It has been a couple of weeks since I moved out and I'm starting to adjust properly to my new homelife.

I've been having the kids stay over with me 3 nights a week and they have been loving the sleepovers with dad, so that's made the transition easier for me and for them.

At the weekends we've been doing fun stuff and I'm looking forward to this weekend with them a lot. We are going swimming, crazy golf and out for tea

I've been putting a lot more energy and focus into my teacher training lately. I think this is because my head seems so much clearer now.

Been getting some Bill time in as well. I went to see Skyfall tonight with a friend, did 9.5 miles on Sunday morning and I'm going out for pints at the weekend with a couple of friends.

I'm in a much better place (emotionally), my PMA is fine and just wanted to let you know I'm doing good and to say hello.

Bill

Great to hear Bill!

Sounds like you're doing quite well Bill, glad to hear it!

Thanks Anotherstander & Denver

Yeah I've been trying to stay positive and keeping busy & it really has helped with all of the transitions going on in my life at the minute.

Today I joined a Gym after school & when I went to speak to my bank about setting up some online banking features, the girl who saw me was so beautiful and so nice!! It was a complete eye opener to me (given my recent dissolusionment with love)and made me realise that there are some lovely people out there and when I'm ready I'll know what I'm looking for

Bill

Nice seeing your bill

Thanks Cutter

I've been getting back into the running & I reckon joining that Gym will help me build up my stamina & distance for that half marathon I'm putting myself in next year.

How's it going for yourself friend?

Glad that you stopped by and things are going well for you friend.
Keep us updated, as well as the lovely people you encounter.

well bill ever since I have been tracking myself and what I do for exercise each day... Awesome.

I make sure I do two different things each day.

With rest on Sundays.

100 pushups

I also started with these routines as well.

I am up to 50 push-ups now and I do the dips on the off day. Up to 60 on those.

Plus the running or biking or walking.

Record it all in a spreadsheet.

Once I get to 100 push ups I will maintain that and add something else in.

And on days where I do not do this. I write in why I missed it.

Only missed 2 days since October 1st. One was after a Half where I was sore.
The other was because I was lazy. I wrote that as well.

Life on other fronts. Had some tough news with pops that were working through.

And planning for some family flying over from across the pond next spring.

Take Care Bill.

You know you can use this site to document your gal.

Hey Cutter

Been busy mate & forgot to reply to your post.

That 100 pushups program looks amazing & you are clearly getting into it which is cool.

I've been the gym tonight & done some weights & a quick 5k, just to keep me ticking over. I need to get back out on the road (running) this week. Last week I managed 9.5 miles & was petty pleased with that.

Sorry to hear about your news concerning your pops, my thoughts are with you friend.

I'm still loving my school placement & I'm seeing much more of my friends now which is cool, because I love going out for pints and a curry.

Had an awesome weekend with my kids, swimming & crazy golf

Hope you're doing well & I agree about having a thread for PMA & GAL. I don't think I'll be posting much about my sitch and the D, got better things to do & I've moved on, so feel free to post PMA and GAL here mate.

I'll post something if anything changes dramatically, but I don't really give it much thought now to tell you the truth. I even think I'm ready to start dating again.

I'll post stuff about that, even if it's just to cheer you up brother.

Take care

Bill

So glad to hear you're moving on fine mate. Keep posting. It's good to hear personal success stories. It's a good reminder that there is life after D. Cheers!

I haven't posted any updates on my sitch in quite a while, so I thought I'd fill people in on what's been happening while I've been away from these boards...

My STBXW and I have been pretty amicable on the whole and we've been able to talk through what we both want in terms of D, so we've just used the one solicitor (lawyer) & we are splitting the costs 50/50. We each get to see & help write the paperwork, so there is no surprises & on Monday the divorce papers (petition) were sent to court. So it really should be straight forward and pushed through by April or May.

Since moving back at home the children have been staying with me every Tuesday night & every other weekend for 2 nights & when I dont have them on the weekend I see them on Sunday for a few hours. They seem pretty settled with the arrangements now & they both know how much me and their mum love them.

I won't lie Christmas Day, was one of the toughest days for me, not spending the whole day with my kids, but my family and friends helped me get through it though

Things are going well at UNI, got just over 4 months until all being well I become a qualified teacher, so I'm busy working towards that.

After moving back home I went out on a few dates with someone who lived about 100 miles away from me (online dating) but nothing serious just a little bit of fun.

Then last month on my mums birthday I was in the library and noticed one of the girls from my class who I really liked. We smiled at each other and just started talking for about 20 mins before I had to rush off for a meeting.

We just clicked straight away, I know people talk about love at first sight, but this really was. After a few weeks of talking on the phone and texting, we went out for a drink and kissed that night. I'd never felt this way about anyone before, not even the STBXW when we first met.

Things are going really well with this girl and we are madly in love with each other.

I'm happy with my personal life, my family life with the kids. I feel closer to my own family than I have in years. I'm making more of an effort with my friends and spending more time with them too.

I feel like I'm enjoying life again and I know exactly who I am, who I was and I love it.

When I think about where I was this time last year and how low I was feeling, it just makes you realise what a difference a year makes.

Just like everyone else on here though, I had to live through it, the stress, tears, regrets, sense of loss and the guilt.

If I got through it and my head was like a box of cats then, I'm sure anyone can.

I'm not saying that what I saved is right for everyone, I saved myself, my marriage was over.

What I am saying though is, when you are coming through the other side of this you are 10 times the person you were before you started.

The vets on here really helped me a lot (especially Chatterbug, Denver,Sandi, Bond & my newbie friend Yankee) when I needed them the most & I'll never forget that. I made some real friends on here and this really is a community.

If you feel like throwing in the towel, don't...Have faith that you'll be ok and if you can fix your marriage then that's a bonus.

Bill

Happy for you Bill!

Thanks Ad

It's been a long road and It'll never really be walked because of the kids, but it's a lot easier now.

Going through all that rubbish last year and having my life turned upside down was the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I'll have to catch up on your sitch, but has there been any movement with H spending more time with the boys? Is he mellowing or still really strict with them?

Bill

Wow Bill you sound well! Glad to hear from you.

Thanks Newman!!

I'm feeling good and have moved on with my life.

It feels good not being in limbo and having a failed marriage under your belt is still experience and we do learn from our mistakes.

Bill

You have a good memory BB. I don't see any change in H with regard to the boys, he's as mad and strict as ever but just not around as much. Unfortunately that's an improvement.

Congrats Bill, sounds like you're doing well! Glad to hear the divorce is going amicably, that can make a huge difference in keeping resentment and bitterness out of the equation which is especially important when kids are involved. Good luck to you!

Happy for you Bill

"I know people talk about love at first sight, but this really was. After a few weeks of talking on the phone and texting, we went out for a drink and kissed that night. I'd never felt this way about anyone before, not even the STBXW when we first met.

Things are going really well with this girl and we are madly in love with each other."

Good to hear, HOWEVER, don't fall into this trap. This is the same thinking that spouses use when they 'fall in love' with OP. As long as you use the DB principles you learned and apply them to your new R, you will be fine.

Good luck.

Thanks guys, I'm in a much better place these days.

Ad - that's a shame that H is still being that way with the boys, discipline and rules are important, but so is having a good time with your children and showing them that you love them by having fun in the moment. You've never lost sight of that being the most important side to your relationship with the boys. It's a shame there's nobody (friends or family on his side) that can't get that through to him.

Thanks Bond, it's weird because this just happened naturally and I think this could only have happened once I'd regrouped and fixed myself.

I definitely won't be making the same mistakes I made 1st time around, but at the same time, I've not once compared this girl to my stbxw.

I'm really happy and if things are still going well in a few months time, my next dilemma will crop up, introducing her to my kids.

That's way off for now though, but my kids will always come first.

Thanks

Bill

Happy for you Bill. Take care man.

Just wanted to say it's great hearing about your positives in life breakdownbill. Similar to you I am a teacher and also a runner, mostly 5 and 10k's.

Hi Bill!!

I visit here from time to time to catch up with what's going on with everyone. I would agree with Mr.Bond. Just apply the principles to the new R and things should be good.

Otherwise, I am so happy to see that you are happy! It does often feel like being on the other side makes all the prior pain worth it. No pain, no gain I guess could be applied here too

It's like a whole new life is opening up for you.

How's the health activities? Does your new love do much in terms of exercise?

Things are going well on my end too. I can honestly say that the principles here have continued to help me as I apply them. When I slip a for a couple of weeks, I start to sense a sliding down and I realise I need to inject more attention and care. It doesn't take long to recover the loving feeling after that. So, my experience is that as long as one pays attention, a relationship can be very loving and caring and secure etc., as long as effort and attention is given to it. I suppose that's with all things in life.

My course is almost complete. I have a month or so left, and assessments are this week. We will have results in June. I admit is has been a challenge to keep my R balanced together with end of term work - and I'm fortunate that my H has been patient (though I think his patience is wearing thin). Most of my time and attention is on the final work, and then finding a job. So, every so often I have to come out of my tunnel vision and pay attention to him.

Anyway!! I'm very pleased for you!

Hi Yankee, I haven't been in here in a long time, so sorry for not responding until now. I'm sorry for not being able to be on here in ages as well.

I'm glad that things are going well for you Yankee, you really hung in there and are seeing the benefits of it all now.

Updates of where I'm up to...

As of 19th of July 2013 I was officially divorced. I know that so many people's goal on here is to avoid this at all cost, but for me it represents closure to an unhappy relationship and transitional period in my life.

If people don't know my back story, my wife cheated on me with an older man and we couldn't save the marriage.

I qualified as a teacher this month and have managed to get my first teaching job working in a special needs school.

My new relationship is going so well. She really challenges me and I'm so happy.

When my bombshells were dropped I was a major mess and a lot of great people on here talked sense into me and helped me get back on my feet.

If you are a newbie on here and you think your world has come to an end, that's exactly what I thought when my bombs were dropped. Trust me it's not the end of your world. It is the end of your old relationship with your husband or wife.

This site helps you to save yourself, nobody saves their marriage the way it was, some people make a new relationship with their husband or wife.

Your first step is to realise that your life / relationship with your partner is messed up and that your first goal is to fix yourself.

Fix yourself and life will take care of the rest for you (well maybe not everything, you need specific goals and Michelle's books and this forum to help you along the way).

Don't give up on yourself, no matter how bad you think things are, they will get better.