The Climbby Miley Cyrus
I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"
Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking
But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb
The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going
And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on
'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoahttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NG2zyeVRcbs**********************************************************************
The journey:
Never Knew Heartbreak Hurt This BadHaze Grey and Underway--Can We TalkAnchors Aweigh Man the Rails and Give no QuarterBetween the Devil and the DeepI Always Admired the Cut of His Jib Why Did She Marry A Sailor Welcome To The GoatLocker How Long Have You Been a Sailor?Street Girls Bringing Sailors Into Hotel--Gee, I Wish I Were A Man, I’d Join The Navy Navy Wife—Toughest Job In The FleetWhen God Created the Navy WifeA Military SpouseA Member of the Silent RanksI AM the Navy WifeA Navy Wife is no Ordinary WomanA Navy Wife’s PrayerWife of A Sailor’s CreedI AM the RockRecipe for a Military WifeA Sailor’s ChristmasA Gift From the Sea--New Year/New BeginningA Navy Wife’s CreedHurry HomeMy Sailor is Back—but not HomeMan Overboard**********************************************************************
The house is quiet. D9 and D6 are gone camping for the weekend with my sister and won't be home until Sunday. S3 is with DH at his parents' house and DH will bring S3 home tomorrow evening, since DH has duty on Sunday. D17 and friend are drifting in and out, but are more than content to leave me to myself.
So, what have I done with my solitude? I went to bed earlier than usual last night. I slept until after 10, then finished a book I wanted to read for a long time. The overwhelming theme of the book was that through sacrifice and love, we can find our greatest dream. I cried through the last couple of chapters. It was cleansing and encouraged me to open my Bible and read something that was suggested to me a few days ago. While I knew the jist of the chapter, I had never read the whole thing. It was Ezekiel 37, where God tells Ezekiel to prophesy to a field of dead bones and to bring them back to life. My Bible has commentary in it and it talks about Our Living God being able to bring anything back to life. The commentary, near the ens, specifically mentioned bringing back dead marriages.
I felt an overwhelming need to get out of the house today, to try to clear my mind and let some things go. My sister and I swapped cars for the weekend, so instead of my Durango, I had the joy of driving her T-Top Comaro instead. I hit the road and drove around for the better part of four hours. It was a drive to let go off the past. I drove out to the house that DH bought when we were first married. I drove out to the park we took the older girls to all the time when they were little, and I drove past the little town where we spent many happy, special weekends together. I drove to the cemetery my grandparents were interred at last spring--the first time I have been there since the interment. I talked to my grandfather (I miss him horribly) for a long time and also had a long talk with God. At each, I cried and let go some more of the past. As I was driving away from our old home, I heard the song posted above. And so I continue to climb, out of the past and moving on and forward. I will post more about the past few weeks later.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
This is one of my favorite songs right now. I bet that drive was probably so very healing for you. I applaud you on your climb.
So, I have not posted since D6's grad from kindergarten. Things are essentially SSDD (same stuff, different day) around here.
My favorite cousin was married on the 19th. D17 and I were both in the wedding party and we drove up early the morning of the 18th. DH had duty in the 18th, could not get leave, and would not have made it in time for the ceremony on Saturday, so he did not drive up. He spent the weekend at my inlaws--no out of state visitors, Thank Goodness!
My cousin was absolutely beautiful and her new husband is wonderful! Their wedding was sweet and perfect for them--she walked down the aisle to Here Comes My Girl by Tom Petty! I even got over my aversion to the ugly dress she made me wear!
I danced all night and had a blast at the reception.
I did not call DH at all while we were gone and of course did not hear from him. I did finally call him Sunday night, after we got home and i got the kids settled in bed. I let him know we were back, wished him a happy father's Day, and told him he was missed by the family. He quickly stated "but I told cousin I could not make it." I said "I know you did and they understood, but that does not mean you were not missed." He asked me some questions about the wedding and I talked for a few minutes, then told him I needed to go, as I was tired and wanted to get some sleep, that we would see him the next day.
The week went the same as always, he had duty Saturday, then took the kids to the beach on Sunday. D9 asked him twice if I could go, but he acted like he did not hear her. He did ask me what time they should be "home" for dinner.
Monday, he mowed the yard and after dinner, I suggested taking the kids for ice cream. We all went together in his car and the small talk surprised him a bit. I started going back to the gym this week and have been going early in the morning. I walk to the gym and back, working out for about an hour and a half when I get there. I mentioned some wild blackberry bushes that I passe on my walk and he was really surprised that I was walking to the gym.
This week, he has been getting here later and is exhausted. Apparently, he is getting off the ship later than usual in the afternoon. He has also not been taking the time to eat during the day. Tuesday, he was looking for something to eat when he got here, I told him to grab something to eat-that dinner would be later than usual due to a new recipe, so he made himself something to eat and then said he should not be eating "all your food." I let it go. He came and sat by me on the sofa and told me some stiff about work, about re-enrolling for college, etc. He went out to play with the kids, then came in and sat down in the family room. Within 5 minutes, he was asleep. I left him sleeping and on one trip through the room, I covered him up with a blanket.
When I woke him up to eat, he said it was nice of the kids to put a blanket on him, D9 told him I did it. He asked why, I said cause you looked cold, and I headed back upstairs to finish getting dinner on the table. He looked reflective as he folded the blanket and put it back on the quilt rack. The new recipe was a huge success--everyone cleaned their plates, there were few leftovers, and DH complimented me several times on it.
Thurday, the older girls had counseling and originally, D17 was going to ask him into her session, onbeknownst to him. She decided she was not ready at the last minute. However, she did ask me to join her after a few minutes in her session. When I first walked in, her C told me tht D17 has said that her dad was coming home. C wanted to know if there was movement in that direction. I said none that I had seem but that the girls believe that God is capable of anything. The C said that is good, bit we should not build false hope. I told her I agreed and tht I was prepared for either eventuality, but that if Jesus could raise Lazarus from the dead and God bring a field of dead bones back to life, my marriage would be a drop in the bucket at the right time. D17 said that she can see her dad still loves me and that she sees him looking at me differently now--with more life in his eyes. I have not noticed, but we will see.
I then joined D9 and DH in her counseling session--it started during D17's session. They had apparently been talking about thing that we do in an instant that affect people forever--based in a book that D9 is reading. Hr C had asked DH to join them and tell about things that D9 has done that positively affected someone else. He recounted a story from when she was 3 and she hugged a store worker while out shopping with MIL. D9 told the woman she looked like she needed a hug. It is one of my favorite stories bout her. We talked about some other things that she has done over the years, then DH said that D9 has something about her that lifts his heart and makes him want to be with her everyday. How strange from a man that wants a D and will not see her everyday! I did not say it and neither did C, but she broached it to me after when D9 and DH were both out of earshot. C said she may follow up on that in greater detail at a later, but not too later, date.
After, we drove D9 to my sister's to meet up to go camping. I let my sis borrow my car and we drove her car back to my house. DH gathered up S3's stuff and shortly after headed to his parents'. When they were leaving, I asked what time they would be back. DH said around 8, but would call when they were leaving. I told him to leave a message, as i would not be home and would be checking them to make sure I was back in time. He looked surprised that I would not be here. He called me last night to let me know they were in okay and so I could talk to S3 and said again he would call when they were heading back.
More in a minute
Living Gid's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
I am thinking DH may think I have a BF.
I am going out of town in two weeks and the kids are not going. Then, at the last minute, I mention an invite with a friend, but that having S3 would make it difficult to go, so DH offers to watch S3 before I can ask him. I DO have plans and have spent time with friends, but not out of town. Honestly, I did it to see if he would offer or decline. With it being a holiday weekend, I thought for sure that SHEWHOSHOULDNOTBENAMED would be coming to town again and I wanted to see what his response would be about having S3. I guess no visitor.
To add to this, DH ran D17 to my mom's the other day and I called her to see if there had been any calls while I was out earlier in the day. Unknown to me, I was on speaker phone and DH herd the whole convo. D17 said that a male DB friend had called (mentioned by his name). I said, in an upbeat voice, Oh cool! Is there a message, do I need to call him back? S17 said no, that he said he would call later. She then told me, later in the evening, that DH was very quiet the rest of the time in the car and even missed a few questions S3 asked him--DH had to ask S3 to repeat them.
So, I put mileage on the car and am planning on being out of the house about the time DH is supposed to get here, but pull up shortly after. I am considering having an overnight bag in the car, too, and if asked I will be vague about where I was. I also made an ATM withdrawal from our joint account while I was out driving today--in a city about an hour and a half away from home.
I am not seeing anyone, do not have any desire to, and can easily explain where I was and who I was with if I am ever asked. But right now, I do not feel he needs to know all my plans.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
This is one of my favorite songs right now. I bet that drive was probably so very healing for you. I applaud you on your climb.
GTFM--
The drive WAS healing and cleansing. Thank you for the aplause, but know that I could not have made it even this far if it were not for the Lord's work in me. In Him I have grown so much over the past year. I can do all thigs through Christ, who strengthens me.
Living God's blessings iwth grace and dignity~
SMW
sg--
I had never heard the song before today, but I definitely felt I was meant to hear it when I did. I also heard this song on my way home:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjMrxqo43RI Come Back To Meby David Cook
You say you gotta go and find yourself
You say that you're becoming someone else
Don't recognize the face in the mirror looking back at you
You say you're leaving as you look away
I know there's really nothing left to say
Just know I'm here whenever you need me I'll wait for you
So I'll let you go, I'll set you free
And when you've seen what you need to see
When you find you, come back to me
Take your time, I won't go anywhere
Picture you with the wind in your hair
I'll keep your things right where you left them
I'll be here for you
Oh and I'll let you go, I'll set your free
And when you've seen what you need to see
When you find you, come back to me
And I hope you find everything that you need
I'll be right here waiting to see
You find you, come back to me
I can't get close if you're not there
I can't get inside if there's no soul there
I can't face you, I can't save you
It's something you'll have to do
So I'll let you go, I'll set you free
And when you've seen what you need to see
When you find you, come back to me
Come back to me
So I'll let you go, I'll set you free
And when you've seen what you need to see
When you find you, come back to me
And I hope you find everything that you need
I'll be right here waiting to see
You find you, come back to me
You find you, come back to me
When you find you, come back to me
When you find you, come back to meWhile I cannot tell this to DH, this is where I am at.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
wow.
Also heard this song today and it broke my heart, cause I have felt all of this and more:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AOsHL3DyckDo I by Luke Bryan
Baby what are we becoming
It feels just like we’re always running
Rolling through the motions everyday
I can lean in to hold you, or act like I don’t even know you
Seems like you could care less either way
What happened to that girl I used to know
I just want us back to the way we were before
Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you baby
Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy
Do I have your love, am I’m still enough
Tell me don’t I, or tell me do I baby
Give you everything that that you ever wanted
Would you rather just turn away and leave me lonely
Do I just need to give up and get on with my life
Baby, do I
Remember when we didn’t have nothing
But a perfect simple kind of loving
Baby those sure were the days
There was a time our love ran wild and free
Now I’m second guessing everything thing I see
Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you baby
Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy
Do I have your love, am I’m still enough
Tell me don’t I, or tell me do I baby
Give you everything that that you ever wanted
Would you rather just turn away and leave me lonely
Do I just need to give up and get on with my life
Baby, do I
Still give you what you need
Still take your breath away
Light up the spark like I did, baby do I
Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you baby
Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy
Do I have your love, am I’m still enough
Tell me don’t I, or tell me do I baby
Give you everything that that you ever wanted
Would you rather just turn away and leave me lonely
Do I just need to give up and get on with my life
Tell me baby do I get one more try
Do I, baby do ILiving God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
I love that song, but the lyrics are really powerful! Thanks for sharing!
wow.
AK--
I hope that was for the song and not the story!
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
I love that song, but the lyrics are really powerful! Thanks for sharing!
MD--
Every one of these songs I hit on while channel surfing and they all came on at significant parts of my drive today. God speaks if we will listen.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
Sometimes I wonder if I just think God's speaking.. like on the radio yesterday was the Word of the Day and it was 1 Cor. 13; which I've been trying to use as my mantra... and it seemed like God was remindng me to stand strong.. or do sometimes songs come on the radio, and it's just a coincidence? What's your thought/opinion? Is there a reason for everything? There are different schools of thought on this.
You re right, there re different schools of thought on these sorts of things. I choose to believe that God will use whatever medium necessary to get a message out to His children. In talking with my pastor, he has expressed the same belief. In four hours of driving, I heard alot of music. Not all of it spoke to my heart, but these three songs in particular did. The fact that they were coupled with parts of my trip that were causing me to think deeply about my choice to stand for my marriage struck me as more than a coincidence.
D9's C likes to say there are no coincidences in God. I believe she is right.
I have felt God speak to me through scripture readings, sermons, music, even things I have read in secular works. We just need to be open to the message He is conveying to us. People here have often commented on the strength I have to continue to stand for my marriage in the face of my husband's indifference. It is not an easy choice and one I have wanted to turn away from many, many times. God always finds a way to draw me back to it, though.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
Hi SMW ~
Remember also... The Joy of the Lord is your strength.
I love that David Cook song!
Right now though, I'm not feeling so warm towards H. We are still living in the same house, dif bdrms, and going through D for last six months. He is an MLCer and knows the script well. For the last year, when this all started, I had decided to stand for my marriage. I have grown really close in my relationship with GOD through this, which is the best thing that has happened. Without the strength I've gained through HIM,and good understanding Christian friends, I may have been in major depression long ago. H has OW, and it has been so hard watching him come and go while living under the same roof. At my lowest times, outside of reading my Bible, I go to the Rejoice Marriage Ministries website. That website has given me so much comfort, especially when I read about the restored marriages.
I am on my second week of a three week vacation. It has been so good for me to be away from the madness for awhile. I do feel animosity setting in though, which I don't feel when I'm at home. I start thinking about how much he must be loving that I'm not there. He can come and go with OW freely. I start wondering if she's been in my house. (sigh). He texted me twice the day I left. I answered the first one, but not the second. I made up my mind to have NC. I was hoping he would miss me, but why should he if he has OW. (sigh again).
I do love him, but not who he has turned into. I pray for him all the time. I also pray for OW, that someone would come into her life that is available and not already married. That is hard. I also wonder if this prodigal were to come home, if I could forget. I need to forgive, I know that.
We need to remember the power of prayer, and HIS timing.
The patience is what's getting to me though.
And him acting like a teenager! lol
Keep standing strong girl,
MJ
I feel the same way! He's using whatever means He wants to communicate with us.
I appreciate and admire your faithfulness. I know you give the credit to God, as you should, but feels good about your contribution as well.. you are standing strong when many others would give up.
I appreciate your posts and your perspective. Take care.
Hi SMW ~
Remember also... The Joy of the Lord is your strength.
I love that David Cook song!
Right now though, I'm not feeling so warm towards H. We are still living in the same house, dif bdrms, and going through D for last six months. He is an MLCer and knows the script well. For the last year, when this all started, I had decided to stand for my marriage. I have grown really close in my relationship with GOD through this, which is the best thing that has happened. Without the strength I've gained through HIM,and good understanding Christian friends, I may have been in major depression long ago. H has OW, and it has been so hard watching him come and go while living under the same roof. At my lowest times, outside of reading my Bible, I go to the Rejoice Marriage Ministries website. That website has given me so much comfort, especially when I read about the restored marriages.
There are times that I have been angry, hurt, furious with DH. It is all part of an ongoing cycle of healing. They have dealt us a horrible blow to our very core knowledge of who we thought we were--as women, as wives. I do not know how you can live in the same house with your H blatantly disrespecting you like he is. It is time to set some boundaries of what you will and will not tolerate.
In the beginning of this, I spent all of my time on websites for restoration, listening, reading, whatifing. I still spend way more time than I should, but I have worked on GAL during the day, so it is mostly at night and I just stay up too late. I have taken to praying prayers of thanks for the many things that God has blessed my life with on a day to day basis. My kids, my health, the roof over my head, working vehicles. Then, I thank him for the blessings i am waiting for--but thanking as if they have already occurred. If we are going to believe that the blessings are going to happen, we need to also believe that they are a done deal and merely waiting on the perfect timing. Therefore, we can begin to thank for them now, instead of waiting until after the fact.
I am on my second week of a three week vacation. It has been so good for me to be away from the madness for awhile. I do feel animosity setting in though, which I don't feel when I'm at home. I start thinking about how much he must be loving that I'm not there. He can come and go with OW freely. I start wondering if she's been in my house. (sigh). He texted me twice the day I left. I answered the first one, but not the second. I made up my mind to have NC. I was hoping he would miss me, but why should he if he has OW. (sigh again).
Do not give him that much time in your mind. Enjoy the time away as a time of growth and change for YOU. You have no control over him, his thoughts, his actions. I have always tried to believe the best in DH. If I believe in God's restoration, I do not need to worry about how often he thinks about me, whether he thinks about the OW or proceeding with the D. I am not perfect in this and I do lose faith, but God will pick me right back up again when I seek His face. Another good website for learning how to be a True Woman of God is
www.reviveourhearts.com. It has helped me alot since i found it. If you visit it, look back to past teachings from the week before Valentine's Day, where there is a wonderful story of marriage restoration.
I do love him, but not who he has turned into. I pray for him all the time. I also pray for OW, that someone would come into her life that is available and not already married. That is hard. I also wonder if this prodigal were to come home, if I could forget. I need to forgive, I know that.
I have prayed the same prayer for the OW. I pray for her conviction in the HS for the damage she is doing to innocent children. I pray for my husband and I pray not only for conviction, but for him to truly remember the past, not his rewritten version. I pray for him to regain his salvation in the Lord. I pray to see love in his eyes again for me, not just our children. I pray to feel his touch, to have him sleeping beside me at night and holding me in the morning.
Forgiveness is tough but the best thing we can do for ourselves. I read on here once that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. The bitterness will eat at you forever until you let it go. As far as forgetting, it will fade in time as the rebuilding occurs, until you remember the incident, but the pain associated with the memory is gone.
We need to remember the power of prayer, and HIS timing.
The patience is what's getting to me though.
And him acting like a teenager! lol
Keep standing strong girl,
MJ
I am not a perfect prayer warrior and am grateful that others are willing to hold my arms up for me when I can't do it alone. I understand about struggling with patience--it was never a strong point for me and the kids still live with the struggle i have with it, but I am SOOO much better than I was even a year ago. I learned not to ask God to grant me patience--He would just give me more trials to build it. Instead, I thank Him for the patience and grace He has given me to deal with things and thank Him for being there to guide my heart an tongue when it starts to get out of control. Since I am already dealing with one obnoxious teen, adding a second one in the body of my husband has not been easy, but it is easier than believing that he had all of this spew hidden in him all along and I never saw it. Instead, I think of it as a phase that he is going through, much like the kids do.
I am standing strong, but know to bend when the winds blow to hard. I pray the same for you.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
Well crap! I walked in the door 20 minutes afte DH was supposed to be back, only to have the phone ringing and him saying that thy had just left and would not be here until almost 10. S3 is going to miss all the fireworks, except for what he sees from the window of the car.
Oh well, I guess I will go put the T-Tops back on the car and get a cup of coffee. I hope S3 is not too crabby at the late night and still gets up for church in the morning.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
I feel the same way! He's using whatever means He wants to communicate with us.
I appreciate and admire your faithfulness. I know you give the credit to God, as you should, but feels good about your contribution as well.. you are standing strong when many others would give up.
I appreciate your posts and your perspective. Take care.
MD--
Thanks for the positive strokes. Part of the driving yesterday was to get perspective on my situation and determine where I am in all of this. In fact, a supportive friend even recommended I tell DH that I am ready to file and get it over with, to see what his reaction would be. While I could handle the outcome either way, I am not willing to file. I guess I am not as detahed as I should or need to be, if I am not able to file yet. Limbo continues.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
SMW -- you might recall that I'm writing The Great American Divorce book. Or at least a snarky, Smiley's Person-like version of it.
And as you know, Smiley's Person is not a man of faith. But I am a man who can be inspired (though perhaps "is inspir-able" is a better, if grammatically incorrect, construction).
And here's what Smiley's Person thinks: SMW should write a book, published by a Christian publishing house, on being a Strong Marvelous -- and Christian -- Woman coping with divorce.
I'm very serious about that. Much of it -- certainly the book proposal -- could simply be cleaned-up (grammar, spelling, etc.) past posts. Nearly every publisher has a link on the web where writer's guidelines, proposal requirements, etc., can be found, and the easiest strategy would simply be to hie yourself down to your local Christian bookstore and write down the names of the companies that seem to publish the most in "your" field (i.e., family and marriage) -- or, if you've read as much as you seem to have done, simply look at the books on your shelves.
One writer to (another) -- I think it would be the ultimate GAL. You have a lot to offer and not only to the Maximally Heathenic like Smiley's Person
-- it's obvious in your fellow Christians' responses to your posts.
That's what I think anyway.
SMW,
Saw the big Puppy Light in the sky and thought I'd drop by.
As a sales manager by profession, I usually am guiding salespeople to different behaviors, improvements, doing things differently, etc., to maximize their performance. But sometimes, the advice I have for them is "I see you doing all the right things. You just have to keep on doing them for awhile longer."
SMW, I see you doing all the right things. You just have to keep on doing them for awhile longer.
I'm not sure why God's timetable for you is what it is right now, or what lesson He is trying to get you (or your husband, or both) to learn. But I have learned that you have to be careful what you pray for, because He WILL try to teach you the harder (but more lasting) lesson.
I think that's where you are.
Puppy
"Higher Ways" -- Steven Curtis Chapman
Higher Ways
Steven Curtis Chapman
If I could only fly
I'd go up and look down from the sky
So I could see the bigger picture
And Lord if I could sit with You
At Your feet for an hour or two
I'm sure I'd ask too many questions
'Cause there's so much going on down here
That I must confess I just don't understand
BRIDGE
But I have prayed
And at your feet my whole life has been laid
So I wont worry I wont be afraid
'Cause my soul is resting on Your higher ways
Let the road ahead become unclear
I am Yours so what have I to fear
If my soul is resting on Your higher ways
CHORUS
Your higher ways teach me to trust You
Your higher ways are not like mine
Your higher ways are the ways of the Father
Hiding His children in His love
BRIDGE
So let it rain
And if my eyes grow dim with tears of pain
This hope I have will not be washed away
'Cause my soul is resting on Your higher ways
Someday I will fly and
Maybe then You will take me aside
And show me the bigger picture
But until I'm with You
I'll be here with a heart that is true
And a soul that's resting on
Your higher ways
Thank you Puppy! I talked with Hoosier last night, too, and she said essentially the same thing. Thank you. I just needed some affirmation. Even this Strong Marvelous Woman has days where I feel kind of weak and not so marvelous.
Apparently, the fight has been brought to my field. I am of the impression that SHE WHO WILL NOT BE NAMED is coming to town today. DH told me last night that he would not be over today, as he has "a friend" coming to town. I said, "oh your HS friend that you told me about?" DH: "No, he is coming Friday, it is another friend." However, he still intends to come see the kids on Wednesday and Thursday. WTH??? Who does he think he is fooling? It took everything in me not to say, "friend? Don't you mean your F'n whore?" But, I did not. I continued with what I was doing.
Well, Good. Let her see what it feels like to share on my territory for a change.
When I woke up this morning, after a night of tears and prayers, affirming to God that I believe in his promise of restoration, but begging for some guidance through the pain, I was given a devotional reading about letting go with love, a devotional celebrating the 22 year anniversary of remarriage for a previously divorced couple, an answer to the Puppy signal, and a Scripture that I have taken deep to heart as more affirmation from God.
Acts 15:16 "'After this I will return and rebuild David's fallen tent. Its ruins I will rebuild, and I will restore it"
David, the Bible's most prominent adulterer, rebuilt and restored. As will my marriage, in God's perfect time.
Thank you Father for Your continued grace and mercy, for Your unfailing love and guidance at times I feel to weak and broken to go on. Thank you for lifting me up, for holding me close, and for setting my feet back to the path of Your will, while whispering, "I AM here, do not lose heart." I continue to stand on Your words and Your promises, knowing that "God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?" (Numbers 23:19). Thank you Father for the gift of your precious Son Jesus, who took my sins upon his blameless flesh and for the indwelling of the Holy Spirit that I might discern your ways. I offer thanks through the power Your Son gives us to approach Your throne, In Jesus' name, Amen
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
hey you!!
I am smiling perhaps bright enuf to be seen in VA beach ...LOL
{{{{{TED}}}}}
I have missed you but saw that househunting is occurring in your neck of the woods! Outstanding! God is so faithful!! I feel the warmth of your smile here, my devoted friend!
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
SMW
God's got you covered!
I agree with SP re the book.
and geez now I am about to drop a couple tears.
you're killing me ...'hon'!!!
i thinks us guys make a common association of a flood of emotions with death. hah ha ha.
a good many of us only have to encounter that stuff just in the midst of a funeral afterall.
it is all too wierd ....well not too wierd for me. I perpetuate the furtherance of weird. i do it well ...well that is for others to know
I am bearing with you as we learn our vital lessons.
AMEN. I am praying in agreement with you, SMW.
You see these comments? This is why you need to GAL-yourself out "your" story. People need to hear it.
SMW -- you might recall that I'm writing The Great American Divorce book. Or at least a snarky, Smiley's Person-like version of it.
And as you know, Smiley's Person is not a man of faith. But I am a man who can be inspired (though perhaps "is inspir-able" is a better, if grammatically incorrect, construction).
And here's what Smiley's Person thinks: SMW should write a book, published by a Christian publishing house, on being a Strong Marvelous -- and Christian -- Woman coping with divorce.
I'm very serious about that. Much of it -- certainly the book proposal -- could simply be cleaned-up (grammar, spelling, etc.) past posts. Nearly every publisher has a link on the web where writer's guidelines, proposal requirements, etc., can be found, and the easiest strategy would simply be to hie yourself down to your local Christian bookstore and write down the names of the companies that seem to publish the most in "your" field (i.e., family and marriage) -- or, if you've read as much as you seem to have done, simply look at the books on your shelves.
One writer to (another) -- I think it would be the ultimate GAL. You have a lot to offer and not only to the Maximally Heathenic like Smiley's Person
-- it's obvious in your fellow Christians' responses to your posts.
That's what I think anyway.
Smiley--
Your continued support of my stand, particularly given your non-religious leanings, is much appreciated. I am grateful to be able to advance, in what ever small way I can, the cause of My Father's Kingdom and His always available gift of salvation and grace to those who seek His face.
The book idea is niggling in the back of my mind (like I do not have enough to do already!) but until I finish my Bachelor's in October, the free time to apply myself is not readily available. Maybe i will do some research on publishing houses and then bookmark it for that time to explore further.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
awww ... not enough time. and you use your's far more wisely than me I reckon. most anybody does.
the wisest thing to do with my time now is zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
that much I am certain of.
T
I'd be happy to consult my handy-dandy Writer's Market and prepare you a list of potential houses. Maybe there's some way you can fold this into your BA program? If you have any writing assignments due -- and this is what I tell all of my students, by the way -- take advantage of the opportunity and use it as a chance to write a first draft of an introduction or a chapter or whatever.
In a psych class, for example, I could easily see a research paper on attitudes toward divorce in the literature with your observations from the community here as a case study.
In a sociology class, an exploration of the seeming divergence between Loh and Flanigan (recent articles referenced hereabouts) as representatives of the cultural split on divorce. Or, more your bailiwick, a thoughtful discussion of the sort-of meta-disconnect there is between strong Christian faith and divorce. I believe I've even seen some empirical research on that topic.
Anyway, merely food for thought. But you could start "working" the problem even as you work your "everyday" problems....
Current Classes--
Evidence and Family Law and Divorce Mediation
next term--
Real Estate Law and Research Capstone
So, no cannot wind it into my classes, but I have taken it to heart. I did, in the past, use my experiences to blow a professor's mind. When I took Alternative Dispute Resolution, unlike my classmates who ADR'd a divorce, I leveraged my couple into a separation and counseling. Prof said she had NEVER seen that approach and wished more took it. My paper is now an alternative option to approaching the case study for the class.
I would welcome the publishing house support and am not above dropping broad hints for potential contact names.
Now, I need to feed the natives before they eat the cat. I don't understand how they get to sleep until almost 9:30 and then demand food before their eyes are open!
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
Hon,
I am reading and wishing you strength (and luck to your cat
!!).
xxx
K
Keeping up to date with your sitch here and sending some prayers your way.
Hon,
I am reading and wishing you strength (and luck to your cat
!!).
xxx
K
K--
Well, the cat made it--she is still pretty fast, albeit completely obnoxious!
Thanks for the strength. I have managed to maintain my calm, despite the inner turmoil and pain. I know, deep in my heart, God has things in His control and i just need to stand strong. Or, as Puppy said, keep doing what I am doing.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
Keeping up to date with your sitch here and sending some prayers your way.
Thanks WDID.
I am doing better today, but did fall apart a bit at church. The praise and worship really spoke to my heart and my pastor is an amazing preacher.
He was here for about 2 hours today and will be over after work tomorrow and will be going to D9's appointment with us. I hope the OW is being a raging lunatic about him being here with the kids.
DH told the girls he is coming to the church picnic on Sunday. That was a major shocker and I was flabbergasted when he came to me and confirmed the time. Too weird, but I will take the family time, especially at a church function.
As an aside, D6 begged and begged DH to go to church tonight--of course he said no. Interestingly, he had on his t-shirt from the church.
Still praying for the mountain to move.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
Lord Move, Or Move Me
Ffh
I can't find the words to pray
I'm a little down today
Can you help me?
Can you hold me?
I feel a million miles away
And I don't know what to say
Can ya here me anyway?
What I need is for you to reach out your hand
You have taught me
No matter what you'd understand
CHORUS:
Lord move in the way, that I've never seen before
Cause there's a mountain in the way and I'll knock on the door
I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore
So Lord move (move), or move me.
END CHORUS
I've look every where to find
A simple peace of mind
I can't find nothing on my own
So I got to leave myself behind
Take up this cross of mine
Give away everything I hold onto
Lord I know the only way is through this
Lord I know I need you to help me do this
CHORUS
Lord move in the way, that I've never seen before
Cause there's a mountain in the way and I'll knock on the door
I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore
So Lord move (move), or move me.
Out of this place of complacency
To a place of fellowship with thee
Cause I am weak but Lord you are so strong
And you know it's been way too long (been way too long)
Lord move in the way, that I've never seen before
Cause there's a mountain in the way and I'll knock on the door
I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore
So Lord move (move)...
CHORUS
Lord Move, or Move Me
Puppy--
Thank you! I love that song!
Tonight, right after the kids and I finished doing prayers (where D9 has taken to thanking God for her Daddy being home and restoring our family-positive affirmation) Slow Fade came on and then While I'm Waiting--back to back. D9 looked up and said, God, you are so awesome. What a great warrior she is.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
hi sweet sis
your mention of slow fade being played bugs me a bit
it reminded me that my Live Casting Crowns CD/DVD that I adore is MIA. Jewel case is around but discs are missing ...if only I put crap back where they belong.
let's see, I will add that to the ever growing list of things on the--- "What the hell did I do with that list"
keys, jackets, more keys, cd's. I hope I don't ever get old or I am going to have real problems
gotta go pray on whether or not to give my blessing to my darling having additional surgery scheduled for tomorrow to correct bad scarring and lack of healing from previous surgical incision. She asked me if I thought it was a good idea so I told her I would speak to the Lord about it. I think she was ready to cancel it herself but wanted my opinion. She is afraid it might lead to more infection. More lost time from work would = no more job.
praying for ya.
Ted
Tonight, right after the kids and I finished doing prayers (where D9 has taken to thanking God for her Daddy being home and restoring our family-positive affirmation) Slow Fade came on and then While I'm Waiting--back to back. D9 looked up and said, God, you are so awesome. What a great warrior she is.
SMW,
As usual you sound great! I am glad that you are not getting sucked into the drama of DH's antics. He is coming back to you....albeit slowly...but, we know who is in control anyway, right? The only bit of "advice" I want to share is that I think the talk of filing can be harmful. I believe you are far better off to maintain the stance you have been taking which is to let God handle the timing. If HE tells you to file, well then I would march right on down!
Hi SMW.
I've read your posts a lot, and you are a strong lady! Just wonderin'...have you ever heard this song?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYqogpLpC5Q Give it a minute...it'll come up.
Tonight, right after the kids and I finished doing prayers (where D9 has taken to thanking God for her Daddy being home and restoring our family-positive affirmation) Slow Fade came on and then While I'm Waiting--back to back. D9 looked up and said, God, you are so awesome. What a great warrior she is.
SMW,
As usual you sound great! I am glad that you are not getting sucked into the drama of DH's antics. He is coming back to you....albeit slowly...but, we know who is in control anyway, right? The only bit of "advice" I want to share is that I think the talk of filing can be harmful. I believe you are far better off to maintain the stance you have been taking which is to let God handle the timing. If HE tells you to file, well then I would march right on down!
As a rule, I do not discuss filing--it was a comment made in passing by a friend. I certainly NEVER discuss it with DH!
I am glad you see some movement, as I do not--but then again, I guess when yo are in the thick of things you rarely do. I am trusting in God to take care of things in his time.
DH has taken another step toward separating things--assuming all of the debt on a joint credit card and having me removed from it. He did not even have the nerve to tell me, I found out when I went in to make a payment on it from using it to go to my cousin's wedding. It was the first time I have used it at all since he left. Whatever. Now all of the debt on it is his. The bank assured me I am no longer legally responsible for it.
I am prepared for the possibility that things may have to end completely before restoration can occur, but I certainly hope that is not God's plan. I do not want to put my kids through that.
I will calmly discuss the way DH handled the credit card on Sunday evening. It was cowardly and I could speculate on lots of reasons why he did it--mostly that he wanted to use it for while OW is here and there was not enough available, but honestly, does it really matter? It is done and I cannot change it. I continue to move forward and know that I serve a mighty God who is completely in control.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
Antlers--
Aww, thank you for the positive affirmation. I don't know about strong, but I am stubborn and fear the Lord too much to step out in any way that would disappoint Him. While I know His grace is limitless, even His chosen people faced retribution for turning their backs to Him.
I love that song and had not thought ti add it to my youtube arsenal. Now it is , so thank you again!
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
I will calmly discuss the way DH handled the credit card on Sunday evening. It was cowardly and I could speculate on lots of reasons why he did it--mostly that he wanted to use it for while OW is here and there was not enough available, but honestly, does it really matter?
SMW,
You know the answer...it DOESN'T matter. One suggestion...assume you do NOT understand his motives. If you feel led to approach him about it, I would start this conversation acting AS IF he has a good reason to do what he did.
FH--
I know it doesn't matter and his choices are his to own not mine. Like I said, it was not that he did it, it is the way he did it that irks me. It is like a child getting mad and taking his toys and going home rather than sharing or playing by the rules.
Oh, I plan to approach it rationally. I am going to tell him that I had logged in to schedule a payment on the account (completely true) and was unable to access it. Then I will ask why he felt it was necessary to be so secretive about closing me out of the account. We can only hope that he remains rational while discussing it with me.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
DH has taken another step toward separating things--assuming all of the debt on a joint credit card and having me removed from it. He did not even have the nerve to tell me, I found out when I went in to make a payment on it from using it to go to my cousin's wedding. It was the first time I have used it at all since he left. Whatever. Now all of the debt on it is his.
May be, but he would STILL be accountable for ALL of the spending on it should you two ever get to the legal stage. There will need to be full, joint disclosures -- in detail -- and anything he spends on there that is frivolous will be seen as "squandering marital assets."
So if he thinks he's going to "hide" gifts for OW on there, he's going to be sorely disappointed.
Puppy
DH has taken another step toward separating things--assuming all of the debt on a joint credit card and having me removed from it. He did not even have the nerve to tell me, I found out when I went in to make a payment on it from using it to go to my cousin's wedding. It was the first time I have used it at all since he left. Whatever. Now all of the debt on it is his.
May be, but he would STILL be accountable for ALL of the spending on it should you two ever get to the legal stage. There will need to be full, joint disclosures -- in detail -- and anything he spends on there that is frivolous will be seen as "squandering marital assets."
So if he thinks he's going to "hide" gifts for OW on there, he's going to be sorely disappointed.
Puppy
Pup--
Yeah, I am taking Family Law and Divorce Mediation this term, so I have more in my arsenal, as far as knowledge goes, right now. I had emailed my prof about it (she is a practicing attorney) and she was able to give me clearer direction to finding applicable state laws. Oftentimes, I really think he forgets what he is paying for me to go to school for!
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
As our ex-President would say, he's "misunderestimatin' you."
Hey Pup, be politically correct--not ex, former! LOL
Yes, he is, to his detriment.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
Puppy?? Politically correct??? Hahahahahah!!!!
Hey pup, BTW, if you are on FB and know hoosier, she and I are in contact there. She can tell you who I am.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
Wunderbar!
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
guess I got snubbed (or it could be the slow Southerner thing ...you're gettin' it down pat ..Jersey girl)
love and prayers I cast your way.
bro'
guess I got snubbed (or it could be the slow Southerner thing ...you're gettin' it down pat ..Jersey girl)
love and prayers I cast your way.
bro'
No, you did not and i am sorry! I did not scroll back far enough when I started to do responses. Did your darling decide for or against the surgery?
Thanks for all the continued prayers!
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
someone in the area may need to redirect themselves a tad from a bit of animosity --- me thinx.
It's NEVER easy but necessary for sure. Cuz if I am catchin' a whiff of it then the warped and corroded DH (who's basically lookin for contentiousness and reasons to substantiate his actions) will detect it 100 fold.
redirect
breathe
redirect
GAL
DH's iniquity is like a star tumbling through the atmosphere and losing it's brightness and luster. He will only be renewed and made complete once more when he yields and surrenders to our Holy One and resumes his walk with Jesus.
don't get caught up in the "stargazing" and keep moving lest you be caught flat footed right smack where it falls.
Bro'
your aroung ..cool.
apology accepted haha ..wasn't totally necessary.
hope you take the post in the right light above.
just trying to reflect back a touch of what I am perceiving fm ya.
you may need just a touch (or maybe more ...you and your Guide know best) of fine sanding around the edges so as to not turn jagged if ya get me.
and if ya don't ... I will add you to the millions b4 ya.
.......
on the darling front (thanks for asking)she seemed to not want to await my feedback after soliciting it at first. She did the slight "do-over" surgical thing this AM. She seemed positive about it on her drive home.
I will ammend that, she seemed positive about her surgery but she was gettin snooty with ne and I rated high enough for a hang up (of the phone).
I will keep my focus on the definete fact that in order to illicit anger there has to be true love at the core of it all.
T
someone in the area may need to redirect themselves a tad from a bit of animosity --- me thinx.
It's NEVER easy but necessary for sure. Cuz if I am catchin' a whiff of it then the warped and corroded DH (who's basically lookin for contentiousness and reasons to substantiate his actions) will detect it 100 fold.
redirect
breathe
redirect
GAL
Ted--
I am good and the fact that i will not see Dh until Sunday will help, too. Honestly, it is on him that he did it. He is not hurting me by doing it and it only shows how spiteful he can be. Another theory floated to me today is that he may be thinking I am utilizing the joint money to fund MY outside friendship--the one he has created in his mind since I do not tell him anything anymore and I supposedly went out of town lat week and am going away next weekend
DH asked me absolutely nothing about my trip and quickly changed the subject if it was brought up. He also got really defensive when I asked what his plans with the kids were for next weekend, so I know whether or not I will be able to call them.
DH's iniquity is like a star tumbling through the atmosphere and losing it's brightness and luster. He will only be renewed and made complete once more when he yields and surrenders to our Holy One and resumes his walk with Jesus.
don't get caught up in the "stargazing" and keep moving lest you be caught flat footed right smack where it falls.
Bro'
I am not dwelling--it does not help and does not keep me focused on positive thoughts. It's all good.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
hey sis, how is it you are not GAL'ing on a Fri night. me I had to work. You?
T
hope you are smiling on your w/e. Employing the ole' acting as if strategy and just taking the time that you need to decompress some. Enjoy each and every moment of time with the kids, time with friends and family and surely time by yourself (which is all important). Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. Have an emblazened smile from ear to ear. Keep people wonderin'.
Our Father adores you and your smile as he loves to see the visible signs that you are so having a ball with the everlasting life that He has granted you through the suffering and earthly death of His Son and our Savior Jesus. Amen.
Be lifted up by His angels. They are all around.
Ted
hey sis, how is it you are not GAL'ing on a Fri night. me I had to work. You?
T
School, school, and more school
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
always the studious one.
knock em dead jersey girl.
Ted
hope you are smiling on your w/e. Employing the ole' acting as if strategy and just taking the time that you need to decompress some. Enjoy each and every moment of time with the kids, time with friends and family and surely time by yourself (which is all important). Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. Have an emblazened smile from ear to ear. Keep people wonderin'.
taking the kids to the water park tomorrow--that will befun!
Our Father adores you and your smile as he loves to see the visible signs that you are so having a ball with the everlasting life that He has granted you through the suffering and earthly death of His Son and our Savior Jesus. Amen.
Thank you! I am enjoying my life an kids more than I have in a long time. It could only be more amazig if DH shared it full time.
Be lifted up by His angels. They are all around.
Ted
And you are one of them!
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
geez, I always phrase it like that then it nearly sounds like I am grumbling about it. I am truly blessed to ..a) have a job at all (so many and counting are out of work ..including a bunch of my friends & b) be able to soar with the birdies doing something that i love.
I never lose sight of the countless blessings I got.
You are included in there Sis.
Ted
we cross complimented each other ..cool
you better not overburden my bud and your's FaithfulH.
I need him when I need him ...he is sorta a lifeline to me. I found him first ...lol
he hooked me up with the "standers" group that I gather with every few months when I opt to play hooky fm work. I just ask for and will almost certainly be granted 7/21 off for our next get together. I am really looking forward to another meet up. It is great to gather and have the Lord meld (sp?) us all together.
it is amazing when the Lord annoints groups of people who gather in His Holy name. It is precious beyond words.
you better not overburden my bud and your's FaithfulH.
I need him when I need him ...he is sorta a lifeline to me. I found him first ...lol
LOL Not a problem--but he is a great source of support and inspiration!
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
i am messin with ya
he sure is a major support. he is easy to talk to and calm. got him on "speed dial" so to spk.
T
just another one of the many angels
hey sis quick Q for ya.
i tried unburrying babygirls thread earlier today but it has begun to get reburied. Do you know how she is doing ..any contact?
Ted--
Crissy was able to talk to her for about 2 minuted the other day before BG's phone died. Not too sure how she is doing.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
smw... i have serious d18 issues... i know you'll understand. pray for us.
alright well the Lord will keep our lovely crissy on the case then ..thx for that.
I probably should drag my butt off of here. 5:30 will be here b4 too long.
have to go see if you added anything to my prayer circle post ..if not, hint hint
I am using your manip. strategy that you pulled on FaithfulH earlier I noticed haha
smw... i have serious d18 issues... i know you'll understand. pray for us.
Shame spanking is out of the question at this age! I do understand and I will keep her and all of you in my prayers this evening.
FWIW--I thought you handled the other day great.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
i think that the melatonin is finally starting to add the the needed ten pound sacks to my eyelids ............zzzz zzz
have a glorious w/e. stay strong and spread the Good News in your special way.
and now for the prayers for you and your's and a whole bunch more.
good night. thx for being around and just being U
Ted
SMW
Just getting back to the credit card thing...
Why do you think your H never told you he was closing you out of acc?
From what I`ve read in your recent posts he seems to be drifting back towards you. It`s probably subconscious on his part. But I bet the OW noticed!
Could she have put pressure on him to close acc? Was he afraid to tell you knowing that you could get mad and he couldn`t face the music?especially if he is re establishing his feelings for you.
My H has done something similar to me.(No OW anymore though and we are living together)Stole my credit cards and denied he had done it but later admitted it under gentle interogation from me(I used torture techniques in the past: it doesn`t work!). I thanked him for telling me the truth. Didn`t ask for them back. Applied for credit card under my name. And later understood why he did it.
I was so glad I didn`t do Old Me! Old Me would have bitten the head of him for doing such a lousy thing! New Me knows that H hates funding my cell phone through the credit card(its about the only thing I use C Card for) because I bitch about him to my sister ALL THE TIME on the phone.
New Me declared end to Bitch Fest last night.
So stand back(though I suspect you have already). You`re dbing is fantastic.You`re fantastic. Your H can see that.
Maybe this is not your H taking another step towards separation. Maybe he`s under pressure from OW.
Or maybe there`s another legit reason there that you can figure out.
FG--
I don't know what he is doing, to be honest, but I am living my life. I still miss him horribly, but the pain is not as severe and the lows are not a low anymore. We had a very affectionate relationship--lots of touching, kissing, hugs, etc.--and that is alot of what I miss the most. Is he drifting back? I don't know, but I can hope.
She might have been the one to put pressure if she knew about the cc, but more and more I am thinking it was a knee jerk reaction--either to the cash advance or my going out of town. It is what it is.
I saw him for a few hours yesterday--only at the picnic--and I did not bring it up. I do not plan to bring it up. I can't change it and it will surely spark a fight, so why bother. I am not angry about it, just hurt by the secrecy and sneaky way he does some things.
I am doing really well at not being the Old Me. I am still working on the complaining about DH. For the most part though, I take it to the altar at church, my mom, and my DB friends that I speak to offline. I do not want to involve my family, obviously definitely NOT his family, and I do not want to lose anymore friends than I already have as a result of this.
I am standing back and standing firm. God is my strength and I am so grateful for His boundless grace and mercy.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
Attagirl, SMW. You are amazingly strong!
Puppy
Journaling:
SO the weekend was fairly quiet. I got a lot of school work done, but not as much as I would have liked. D17 and her friends were a big help with the little kids, but man did my house get trashed!
Some minor drama on Saturday with the discovery that DH hs a facebook page and it is not completely private. D17 saw it before I did. He recently changed his status from "its complicated" to "in a relationship". D17 is furious about it. I was upset, too, but more over the fact that it is something that rubbed the situation in D17's face--intentional or not.
Church was, as always, amazing! Our pastor recently started a new series on the Hidden Power of God, using Ephesians 6:10-18 (the Armour of God) as the basis for the series. This week, he talked about the Belt of Truth and how it is time to get honest with not only God, but with ourselves. When we walk around, covering our pain to everyone, we begin to mask it to ourselves as well. We need to be honest with God and ourselves about the trials in our lives, then allow Him to meet us where we are and begin to heal from that place. It was a great sermon and I was thrilled that D17's friend, who is staying with us, was furiously scribbling notes through the sermon. This young lady has had little church experience and is ambivalent about God in general, yet she is being impacted daily by my choices and weekly at church. God is so good and moves in people's lives in ways we could never imagine!
DH was supposed to be meeting us at the house at 1 to go to the picnic. at 10 after, I loaded up the kids and left. I did not call to see where he was. He has a cell phone and knows how to reach me if he wants to call. Honestly, we (me, D17, her 2 friends, and I think even D9) did not expect to see him at all at that point. Surprise of all surprises--he showed up right at the church picnic about 2. I was shocked, to say the least, but I was nice and peasant to him, as were all my friends who talked to him. My mom was amazing, as she sat and talked with him while he ate. God moves in mysterious way.
The older gentleman from church who prays with me for DH prayed that DH would experience challenges while choosing OW over his family. Well, we did not see or hear from him at all from 7:30 Thursday until 2 yesterday. Apparently, Friday, the front brakes went on his car and then the battery died and he had to be jumped Saturday, then it completely died yesterday, resulting in needing a new battery.
Weekend spent cheating on your wife and kids=
new brakes-$250
new car battery and tow-$150
Wife's satisfaction at the power of God at work in her life--Priceless!!
I guess, when he called for the tow, that he forgot we have an automotive plan that he had suggested I get while he was on deployment.
DH stayed at the picnic until we left at 4. He did not come back to the house with us and has duty today, so we will not see him until Tuesday. SIL is ticked at him because he never told her he was not going to be there all week. When he left there Tuesday afternoon, she thought he was coming over here and they did not see him again until last night.
A man that DH was friends with before at the church spent time talking to DH while he was pushing the littles on the swings. All he knows is that we are separated. Friend told me after that he just wanted to make DH feel welcome and that he is still loved by the church family.
Overall, it was a great day.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
Attagirl, SMW. You are amazingly strong!
Puppy
Thanks Puppy! Now, time to finish some more papers for school!
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
SMW - LOLOLOL God is GOOD! It may take a little longer to change a heart, but God can certainly put obstacles in the way to make things "not so easy"!!! I LOVE IT!!!!
Also, the FB page. Tasteless. Does it say who is "In a Relationship" with? Don't ya love FB? GOD! My poor D18 has been busted so many times for the dumbest of dumb things because these teens document everything! Guess H is not privy to the workings of D's...
I'm with ya!
Guess we cross-posted on each other's thread! LOL
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
Hi Southern Sis
had me LMAO about DH's fiasco between Thurs - yesterday. The stand up act that our great God can put on is a hoot.
Hold your head high. You're gettiing it done for the Lord!
Ted
Ted--
Glad you got a chuckle out of it, i know I did on the inside! To his face, I just nodded and said, "Wow that's a tough way to spend a weekend."
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
SMW,
Just like the Karma that visited my H. After I got pulled over for a blown headlight and let go, he had the same thing happen and couldn't say word one and had to go to court to answer the ticket. The funniest part? Even HE called it Karma.
And, this holiday weekend my H's car had an issue. The part of the connection between the gas cap and the tank rusted apart. He can only put in tiny bits of gas until he fixes it. The pipe alone was over 200. What a shame. Ahem.
Oh, and I also wondered if the CC in question over the past week is where the charges ended up for your H?
Oh, and I also wondered if the CC in question over the past week is where the charges ended up for your H?
Very doubtful, unless they upped his credit limit--which is also very doubtful. No, I think he put it on the automotive store car, which may mean no oil change for my car now. I will see. For all I know, I may be off that card now, too, as I was only an authorized user anyway.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
had a great smile again after reading your version of american express commercial
you are doing great, and you will be greatly rewarded for your faithfulness to God's plan. He has plans to prosper you, not to harm you.
hey, not to bring the cc up again, but I never noticed if you knew what date he had you removed.
I agree not saying anything is probably best. because what are you wanting to get from it? are you wanting back on the card? are you wanting him to appologize? what are you looking for him to do, and is it something you can reasonably expect that he will do it?
you just concentrate on the fun times your going to have this weekend! and show him your excited by the smile on your face, the hop in your step, the excitement in your voice, etc.
SMW - What happened to our favorite AI contestant after she was sent home? She was great!
hey, not to bring the cc up again, but I never noticed if you knew what date he had you removed.
The letter from the bank was dated for July 2, but I am sure the card was still showing on my account as late as the 6th or 7th. Oh well, doesn't matter.
I agree not saying anything is probably best. because what are you wanting to get from it? are you wanting back on the card? are you wanting him to appologize? what are you looking for him to do, and is it something you can reasonably expect that he will do it?
I just want him to be honest and forthright. I guess that is really too much to expect from him right now. If he has an issue, right not just come to me ans talk to me. Or, barring that, if he just wanted me off the card, then tell me that. I guess he does not see me as calm or rational right now. Just makes him look like a fool, not me.
you just concentrate on the fun times your going to have this weekend! and show him your excited by the smile on your face, the hop in your step, the excitement in your voice, etc.
I AM so excited about this weekend!
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
SMW - What happened to our favorite AI contestant after she was sent home? She was great!
MD--
Well, lets see---
She is leading praise and worship at church, when she is not in Nashville writing and recording.
She opened a concert with David Cook back at the end of May.
She sang the National Anthem before the fireworks display at the ocean front on July 4th.
She is performing a concert at the one oceanfront stage in August.
God is blessing her music constantly and she continues to give him all the glory.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
hey sis ..long time no yap at lol
i vaguely remember your mention AI contestant...even though i never watch prime time tv which is mostly to my benefit.
is she a VA bch native is that right?
She is, and the praise and worship leader at my church. She is amazing!
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
SMW!
Terrific! If you could deliver a request to her for me. I'd like a nice backstage pic of David Cook... naked! LOL He just oozes sex appeal! Wow! Great for her, though. She was superb.
HI All!!
I am here safe and sound. KellyJo is cute as a button and is sooo sweet! She had D17 email her pics of all my kids and DH and she had them framed and put them in my room. There was even a welcome sign on her bulletin board!
OI feel like i finally have a big sister! Probably will not be on much, but we will have fun!
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
And SMW is a cutey patooty. We stayed up until 2 am talking. Went to lunch at Cracker Barrel and went to see the new Harry Potter movie. It was very good and all I can say is hormones have arrived at Hogwarts. We enjoyed it!
hey you two,
how are things up there in NY state?
cute as a button & cutey patootie lol
what are the w/e plans ...I can't recall if the Southern transplant has ever mentioned b4 if she is much of an angler ..so maybe that is not apart of the agenda. Plus Kjo sounds like she caught all the fish and then some up there.
Oh well, i gather you will find something very fun to do ..who knows with girls ..there always misbehavin'.
now time to create some w/e mayhem myself. More likely I will sleep through all of it. We shall see.
The radar appears to show good weather for yuz so enjoy your time together and may God bless it as He pours out His love upon you both in countless ways.
T
WHINING!!
I wanna go back to KellyJo's!!!
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
sounds like you had a great time! and Kelly sounds like an awesome friend!
Quitcher Bitchen SMW. Sorry honey, sometimes having a fun times makes returning to reality a rough landing. I know, but don't upset the apple cart now.
You can get back on track. Remember, we said we had two days of venting. Times up, and time to get back to the program.
Love ya, little sis.
And get your school work done on time!!
Wow... my doeth think thou has received a 2X4 in the most loving way!
holy smokes ...was she anywherez close to being that mean and nasty when you were up there L?
what a task master that girl is. Cody must have gotten his butt kicked a plenty during his youth.
I'll have you know my son is 6' 2 1/2" and I can still make him quake. : )
And I wasn't mean and nasty to my little sister. We had a fabulous time and we allowed ourselves the indulgence of two days of non-db venting, but agreed to toe the line when she returned home.
Our Lord and Savior knows she is a warrior - and I do, too.
wifey, I just realized that it was you that took SMW in...and that is so wonderful of you!!! what an awesome friend you are!
hey, I know I've never posted to your thread, but reading your sig, I just want to say, continue stepping out on faith, God wants your M restored too.
Thank you ST, I know he does.
Yesterday I found our letters we exchanged while he was in Basic Training and Tech School. I really hesitated, but I had to read them. I am so glad I did.
I'd been asking God for some encouragement. His professions of love jumped off the page. In one letter he said I love you, I need you, don't give up on me. Written in 1986, but so on the mark.
I gave thanks to God that those particular words were said so long ago.
I will not give up.
In one letter he said I love you, I need you, don't give up on me.
wow
wifey, I just realized that it was you that took SMW in...and that is so wonderful of you!!! what an awesome friend you are!
hey, I know I've never posted to your thread, but reading your sig, I just want to say, continue stepping out on faith, God wants your M restored too.
yeah, i agree to take in a person from Jersey ..that is really something. Plus now look what you did she has it listed in her top three of places to move too. Did she by any chance .."accidentally" leave stuff behind up there. LOL
here I am talking about her as if this isn't her space ..haha
haha, but Tomato you are right... Kelly better watch out!
Hey SMW,
Checking in on you. How are things going down in the southern part of the State? Hopefully well.
S4H
SMW? Where ya at?
Lurking, but not posting much. Everything is SSDD at my house and I was spending WAY too much time in here.
Now, I spend WAY too much time playing gameso n FB. Oh well, cest la vie. If my DH would hurry up and bring his butt home, I might could have better things to do with my time in the evening.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
haha, but Tomato you are right... Kelly better watch out!
Yeah, but maybe I'm watching in anticipation!
SMW, haha, I know how fb can be addictive!!! and I wish we could all scream in H's ear and tell him to get his hiney back home!
If my DH would hurry up and bring his butt home, I might could have better things to do with my time in the evening.
And what might that be dear sis. Probably just playing cards or something like that.
Strip poker maybe.
Or one of my all time favorites ..reading the
Word to my darling as she drifts off into restfullness.
T--
If I could get him to even look at his Bible right now, I would be thrilled. In time, all things in God's time.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
yes, that would be a marvelous thing.
T--
If I could get him to even look at his Bible right now, I would be thrilled. In time, all things in God's time.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
targeted prayer ..if i can pull myself together to do it. you have delivered a morsel of inspiration as I prepared for a sprint away from the Lord. for scott sis i must.
T
hey girly, how are you doing. looks like your absent from your thread more than mine! lol
hey, I was reading something about Kalni. I haven't gone to her thread, but I know the name. I also have her on fb, so maybe I should check there, but it sounds like a milestone occured and it wasn't a good one.
how are the kids doing? how is the potty training? how is K's ankle? (it was an ankle right?)
(bump)
SMW,
If you have time, would you check out newbie TOTALLY LOST. I think your wisdom would be welcomed in her sitch.
Thanks,
Silverado
Silver--
I made a small post and will touch base with her again tomorrow. Hopefully I can help her. Thank you for thinking of me and believing that I can help her. I pray God will give me the wisdom to say the right things to set her on the path Our Lord wants her to follow.
Living God's blessings woth grace and dignity~
SMW
SMW, you have God's blessing and will always be a help to those in need.
SMW - Where ya been?????? I miss ya!
Mind--
I am around and drop in here occasionally. Things have not really changed in my situation. DH is still seeing his friend and still coming over here every day after work, unless he has duty or is "out of town."
He did invite me to join him and the kids to go bowling tonight. We had an absolute blast! It was so cute to see my little guy actually throwing the ball down the alley by putting his fingers in the hole, not just throwing it two handed between his legs.
DH is engaging in little acts of service every now and again. Last Saturday D9 asked if they could wash his car. I joked that no one ever offers to wash my car. The next thing I know, DH is washing my car and trying to get the rims nice and shiny. Three days later he was still commenting on how if he had a power washer he could have made them look like new.
He helps me out in the kitchen with dinner--cooking, dishes, sweeping up afterward.
My computer picked up a virus that was blocking my access to everything. DH spent two days fixing it for me so I would not miss anymore school than I already had.
DH's birthday was the beginning if the week. Wit hthe holiday weekend, I did not know if SHEWHOWILLNOTBENAMED was coming to town, so I decided to test the waters on it. I suggested a cookout for tomorrow to celebrate his birthday and the girls' last weekend of before school starts. He was all for it, but balked at inviting a few friends from the ship that I suggested. There will be about 15 people here tomorrow, counting my brood of six. DH said he will be over early to mow the lawn and help with anything that needs to be done before everyone shows up.
SO, in the words of Mike, it is what it is. o go out with my friends when I want, go to church twice a week, am still working on school, and taking care of the kids.
Oh, and in the midst of all that is going on, D17 has bee potentially diagnosed as being bipolar and S3 sliced his finger to the bone on a bread knife--even managing to completely break the cut back open within two days of having it secured by dermabond at the ER. The night that happened, I called DH to let him know. He offered to meet me at the hospital, but I told him I had it under control, could he just stay available if I needed him to run to the house. HE said absolutely and to keep him in the loop on what the doctors were doing.
It will be interesting to see what happens next week when I go to fill out the paperwork for the school--you know, the 90 million forms they sdend home as homework for mom on the first day.
Still hanging in here, still praying, and still waiting on God's perfect timing.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
Yup, it sure sounds like the energy level is still high there. I'm glad the cook-out went well. So glad to get a chance to talk to you tonight.
School is great, but I already have five chapters to read by next week! So much for a holiday weekend.
: )
Hello sweet sis,
I have missed you lots. So I was real pleased to read the update.
Keep it fresh with the Lord.
T
it is what it is
that is funny, my friend Cas and her husband use this all the time, heard it from their pastor in chicago years ago. now James even says it.
didn't hear about the computer part. remember to boost his abilities too.
your doing great! glad to hear from you the other day, and excited about the direction things are going, even if they are little. it's still good.
Actually, our family's full statement is "It is what it is, and that's all that it is."
cool. although, even if it IS what it is, it can still become a can be.
if that makes sense.
Strong Marvellous Woman!
Haven`t `seen` you for a while! Good to catch up with you-you are an inspiration!
Strong Marvellous Woman!
Haven`t `seen` you for a while! Good to catch up with you-you are an inspiration!
likewise for me
oh and ...Redskins stink
Ha hahahahahahahahaha
I don't know--they looked pretty darn good yesterday, whereas the Steelers and the Bagels were looking a little weak.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
Yeah, but the Bengals beat my Packers! WTH is up with that? I'm so sad.
Hi sis
What's the big idea you callin' KelliJo when I am talking to her. lol
I have been praying a bunch for you and I will keep it up.
How is school going?
Hope to be able to catch you on FB at some point.
Be blessed my dear.
Ted
ps.. i think the redskins will be beat by the lions this week.
Bite your tongue! Since SHEWHOWILLNOTBENAMED is a Lions fan, I would not root for them, even if the Skins weren't my favorite team!
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
What's going on in your world?
Coach--
It is all SSDD--some days are good, some days the alien returns. had a wonderful say todat--DH raced his R/C car and invited me to come to watch. Had a blast! Then we talked about the kids and Christmas. Dh mentioned the bvbills and how "our" credit score is good, even though "our" DTI is not so great.
On the crappy side, he has a trip planned out of town next week. The day after he gets back, I head out to visit KJ, and DH will be staying at the house with the kids so they do not miss school.
I am just being me--staying calm, consistent, and loving. I invited him to a church picninc which he is planning to attend with me and the kids tomorrow. He asked if we were going to churchm I said yes, first service, and he is welcome to join us, thta i always save him a seat. He got real quiet, then said he would see us tomorrow. For church or just the picnic--who knows?
When I went to the track, I brought him, FIL, and the girls lunch and drinks. The effort was appreciated. He seemed gld that I enjoyed myself. Is the mountain getting shaky?? Maybe. I am focused on God and loving my husband.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
I am focused on God and loving my husband.
I love that line!
SMW, How goes it? Is no news good news?
I don't know that no news is good news. More so that no news means that little has changed.
Yesterday, though, elicits a big praise report.
Some fill in first--D18 decided she did not like the rules again, and moved out of the house again three weeks ago. She has been moving from friend to friend, believing the rules do not apply to her now that she is 18. Apparently, that concept switched in her mond on Saturday night.
Friday night, Dh told the little girls he would go to church with them--to the kids' service-on Sunday. You could almosdt hear my jaw hit the floor. He had duty on Saturday aand we sis not hear from him all day. Sunday morning, the kids were driving me nuts about getting ready for church--they were more conerned with when Daddy was going to arrive. Eventually, D10 called him. He said he would meet them at church. He did!
Then, after taking an altar call for continued prayers and coming back to my seat, my mom told me that D18 had called her the night before, they had talked, and that D18 would be moving in with her Sunday after noon. Praise God, one prodigal was returning to the family and the other one was in the church!!
After church, DH came back to the house and he and I had a late breakfast together. We then took the three younger kids to the movies together. DH was here until almost 9pm. Almost 12 hours spent in family events. God is so good!
Some things are lighter between us and I often have to catch myself from slipping into using endearments.
God is working things out according to His plan, I am simply allowing Him to work them, instead of getting in His way. My growth in the Word of God is ongoing. I am so grateful that God loves me and is always constant. He is my rock and salvation and i place all faith and confidence in Him. I continue to work on school and am making plans to take the kids to Disney in the early spring. Hopefully, DH will be home and joining us.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
Your dh going to church and spending family time is huge!!! Praise be to God indeed.I am grinning from ear to ear.
I posted this on another thread, but thought that others might be interested to know what is going on, too.
You nut!!
I have been around, but not here much. I drop in every now and again for perspective, but I don't feel like I have a bunch to offer anyone. DH still drifts in and out of our lives. He is here everyday from after work until bedtime, all day on the weekends. He is usually waiting in the driveway when we get home from church on Sundays. He has still not given back the house key from when I went to NY and I have not asked for it. He does not use it.
The night before Halloween, we all went ghost hunting at a VERY OLD Army base that is reputed to be haunted. We snuck into an offlimits closed barracks and tried to record an EVP. All we recorded was S3 whispering but it was sooo much fun. We went Christmas shopping Hallowween morning and took the kids trick or treating together. He was here all day that day.
He is, as far as I know, still involved with the OW. She must be incredibly desperate to put up with this next to nothing relationship they have. I suspect she will be drifting into town next weekend, since he has duty Thanksgiving Day and told the kids he would be here that weekend. He was included in an invitation to a birthday party that D6 is going to next weekend and says he can't attend.
He also has duty Christmas Eve, but is coming straight here when the duty section secures Christmas morning. I am cooking Christmas dinner for the entire family--both sides. The girls, my family, my church friends, and I are praying for a Christmas miracle.
My mom says she sees a difference in him--less distance--from time to time. He is going to a church event for the kids on Sunday with us.
Most days are very good--I am calm, in control, loving, and attentive without smothering. I do my own thing when he is here and he seeks me out on occasion. I listen to what he has to say and offer opinions if asked. I pack him lunch for the next day with the dinner leftovers and he does thank me. He complimented my cooking the other night and we had a shared laugh about one of his past cooking adventures.
I am married without the fringe benefits--hugs, kissing, affection, SEX.
The ship has a Christmas Party Dec. 4th that he hs not mentioned to me, but I am thinking he does not plan to attend, no matter how politically expedient it would be. He won't take me and can't take her.
I came up with a Christmas present for him and it has been approved by sandycay, ST, KellyJo and Racefan as being perfect. My FIL is helping me with it.
The kids are excited about the holidays and have alreasdy put the Christmas music station on the TV. I was doing really well, until I'll Be Home For Christmas came on. God, I pray it is so!!
Gos is still telling me to stand and sends me consistent affirmations that He is working things out. All things in His time.
So that is how stuff is in my neck of the woods. Give your beautiful wife hug for me.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
SMW - It is good to see you post and read your update. I have wondered often how you are doing. You sound strong AND patient. Take care of yourself. All the best!
S4H
glad for you to post that smw
and although I don't know God's timing, I know it will be soon... your hubby's a stubborn one, lol, but you will make it easier. you are making it easier for him to come home. it's not easy what you are doing, in fact it is almost impossible in some people's eyes, but you will prove to many how wonderful a relationship a husband and wife can have because YOU chose to follow God's word and Jesus' example to forgive. You have humbled yourself and God will raise you up.
you are a great inspiration to many. your struggles are not without meaning.
SMW - It is good to see you post and read your update. I have wondered often how you are doing. You sound strong AND patient. Take care of yourself. All the best!
S4H
I am doing well--better than most expect most days, but I do have bad ones. The trick is, DH never sees them. If you ever feel you need me and I am not here, you know where to find me.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
glad for you to post that smw
and although I don't know God's timing, I know it will be soon... your hubby's a stubborn one, lol, but you will make it easier. you are making it easier for him to come home. it's not easy what you are doing, in fact it is almost impossible in some people's eyes, but you will prove to many how wonderful a relationship a husband and wife can have because YOU chose to follow God's word and Jesus' example to forgive. You have humbled yourself and God will raise you up.
you are a great inspiration to many. your struggles are not without meaning.
Crissy--
Why is it I cry so often when reading your posts? I think it is cause you see in me the woman I want to be but I don't feel I have found yet.
You know, from our convos, how much I love my husband, how much I bite my tongue, and so much more about my life than even members of my own family. Thank you for being at the other end of the phone. I would not trade you, KellyJo, or sandycay for anything! Rest assured, you will be included in the mass text when Dh DOES come home!
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
thank you SMW. I know it's hard to see, but many of us here do!
and I can't wait to get that text!!!
hey, perhaps it's time to give an update for everyone?
Yeah, SMW...update!
Greek
Crissy--
Look what you started! You know darn right and well that there are no real updates on my sitch--just lots of wierdness continuing. DH still professes to not want to be married, but is here everyday. He spent 10+ hours over two days trying to fix the lights on my Christmas tree, then stripped them off and put all new ones on.
The kids are doing pretty good, overall. D10 is suffering with an increase in her depression and is very angry at DH for not coming home. D6 and D10 are praying for a Christmas miracle with regards to DH moving home. Of course, so am I.
I have had some weepy moments. With DH not on deployment this Christmas, I am having to face the true reality of my situation--which I did not have to do last Christmas.
D18 finally had a full psych eval done. If there is an issue to be had, she has it. ADHD, bi-polar, hypochondria, Depression, anxiety disorder, conduct disorder, and anti-social personality disorder. The projected onset for most is taergetes for around when DH moved out last year and his leaving is considered a major trigger for her bipolar presentation.
I am doing well enough, though. I have my family and my church family for lots of support. I am still struggling with patience with the kids daily, but God is still working on me. I have hd many blessings that have allowed me to pretty much clear up my debt and really bless my family for Christmas.
D6 had severe swollen lymph glands with an undetermined cause. The Dr put her on heavy duty antibiotics and said it would take 4-6 months for the swelling to go down. Within a week, the gland was less than half the size at the beginning of treatment. D6 politely informed anyone who would listen that God and Jesus healed her because they love her and she loves them. What an amazing faith she has!!
S3 is now S4. I do not know where all the time has gone! It was right around his 2nd birthday that DH's A began. S4 is a sweet, handsome little man, but he is struggling with some depression, too. He spends more nights sleeping with either me or his sisters than he does in his own bed. He is terrified of being abandoned and does not like for me to leave him with anyone for any length of time.
It really hit me around S4's birthday how much of his life DH has missed out on, yet S4 adores his daddy. Then again, I still do, too.
I do not have much to say and am horribly busy truying to get on with life here, so I do not come around DB too much anymore. I still think about all of you often, though.
Living God's bessings with grace and dignity~
SMW
SMW - Merry Christmas! I was drawn to you by your verse, and continue to watch you live it. Many blessings, my friend!
I know smw. but thought it would be nice for everyone to hear you.
your little girl is very amazing, God does have his hands on her.
I see such amazing things happen in the future for you. you are going to have such an incredible impact on so many people.
we will all be praying for a christmas miracle, but put your expectations on God and not your H. not sure if that is the right way to put it, but I don't want your emotions/actions to become responses to things your H does that weren't what you were hoping for. I know God has plans to bring H home, and it will be the perfect timing according to his perfect plan.
Keep your focus on Him. you are a lovely woman.
I'm so sorry how your children are being affected. Try to nourish them as best as you can so they can have the best chance to feel their best, especially D18. Of course you don't have much say in her meals, but it's always worth a try. Do you think she would try B12 shots? or naicin? a deficiency can cause depression and other mental problems. I hate to see her having such problems, although many girls that age have these issues just perhaps not at this level of severity. She deserves to feel well and be well. I will be praying for her and all of you.
hang in there, and try to keep your head up and use us as a soundboard when you need to.
darnit, meant to call you on my way home, but kids were very obnoxious in the car, besides s5 punching s11, it was a good ride. lol
I will call you this week.
1 Cor. 16-13
SMW-It is nice to hear your update (or lack of one, I guess). I have been sorta looking around for you lately and wondered how things were for you and your kidlets. The medical stuff sounds rough. Do you see any patterns when symptoms flare up? Here in Oregon, we don't get much sun. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is not uncommon in these parts. I know people that are fine in the summer, but if they don't get enough vit D they get sick a lot in winter. Me, I'm depressed all the time. But that's another story.
It's finally over for me. Although I filed for D in 2008, I could not see it through and went back last March. Big mistake.
I left again a couple of weeks ago. (Need to update that sig line). For the play-by-play stop by my new thread in We're Separated. Happy New Year! love, Goldey
hey, not sure if your even looking at this, but (((SMW)))